Iteration

‘Iteration’ is part of the space saga that began with ‘In the cold of space you find the heat of suns’ and continues in ‘Tales in Tarrasade’. There is also a one-shot ‘Silver Leaf Tales: Tying the knot’.

Thanks to Small Fox for being my beta. For this story he has also been my muse, suggesting a number of the ideas that have evolved to create this arc.

Thank you to those readers who have written a review or sent and email and particular thanks to lonelylulaby, Aflyingmonkey123, richon, angelj232000, Prism0467, sadie237, cynaga, disembodiedvoiceofthedying and unneeded who reviewed after chapter 97 was posted.

With your support and Small Fox’s help we are back to twice weekly postings.

It is always wonderful to hear from readers.

Apologies if the characters have grown differently in their new environment.

This is posted in the Naruto/Sasuke section because it is part of a Naru/Sasu/Naru space saga. However, it does feature many other pairings (and a few threesomes). Apologies to those hoping for Sasuke/Naruto or Naruto/Sasuke action in every chapter.

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Chapter ninety-eight: Blame

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Haru and the others stayed where they were while Papa rescued Hikaru and Ryuu climbed up to the first platform and out the hatch. Then Kakashi-san opened one of the openings into the void, like the one in the floor of the laboratory. They made their way to where the light was shining down and he pulled them up one by one.

They stood in a huddle in the unfamiliar room. Papa was there. He was carrying Hikaru who had his legs around Papa’s waist and his arms around his neck. His eyes were closed. Haru could see where the tears had run down Hikaru’s face, washing away the dirt. He imagined him clinging to the ladder, unable to wipe them away.

If it had been him he would have fallen, Haru was sure of it.


They walked after Papa out of the room and along the corridors to the stairs. Haru was tired but he did not complain and he tried his best to keep up. Papa said nothing.

Haru wondered how angry he was.

At the bottom of the stairs Kakashi-san picked him up.

“Thank you, Kakashi-san,” he whispered but Kakashi did not answer him, just carried him up the stairs and to the nursery. Once they were there he put Haru down and left with Ran.


They took off their clothes while Papa stripped Hikaru. Haru watched as Papa wiped the worst of the dirt off Hi-chan with a damp towel. He then tucked Hikaru into bed, told him he loved him and kissed him.

Haru was next. His Papa’s touch was firm but gentle. He was wiped, tucked and kissed. Haru waited. Would Papa say he loved him?

“I love you, Haru-chan, but I am disappointed,” his Papa said. “You are the one who should have known better.”

Haru gut twisted and he felt hot. His eyes filled with tears. His Papa stroked his hair but moved away to see to Kazuki.


Papa didn’t say anything like that to any of the others. Haru understood why; they did not see the dangers while he did. Worse, they would have never thought of going into the void. It had been his idea. Kazuki had found out about the void because of him.

If Hikaru had died it would have been because of him.

He started to cry.

Then Papa was beside him again, stroking his hair and wiping away his tears.

“I love you, Haru-chan,” he whispered. “Every bit of you. We all make mistakes. No one was hurt. You will make better decisions next time.” He kissed Haru’s forehead. “Go to sleep.”

And, after a while, Haru did.

---

Sasuke stayed until he was sure they were all asleep, including Haru, and then he made his way back to the shared area to check that Iruka-sensei was not waiting for news.

The double doors were shut. Kakashi was sitting at the table in the kitchen drinking whisky. With him were Shika and Neji.

“They are asleep,” Sasuke confirmed. He sat down. Kakashi poured him a whisky and he took a sip. He would have preferred saki, but no one was offering saki.

“There was no harm done,” Kakashi suggested.

“No,” Sasuke conceded. He thought of Hikaru clinging to the ladder with Ryuu pressing against him, trying to keep him safe. It had been too close.

“How many times do you think they have been down there?” Shika asked.

Sasuke had not even considered that there might have been more than this one time. “Hana would have heard them,” he insisted. “Like this time.” He would have to thank Hana in the morning.

“I don’t know about that,” Kakashi replied. “It was a long way for them to go. It would make more sense if they had already made less ambitious outings.”

“They probably thought that they could make as much noise as they liked in the lower void,” Shika added. “They did not know that the prisoners’ apartments were in the lower level.”

“If I may offer some advice, Sasuke-sama?” Neji asked.

“Please do, Neji-san,” Sasuke replied.

“Don’t assume. Ask. Adults always underestimate children.”


Following Neji’s advice, Sasuke cleared his schedule the next morning and interviewed each of his children one by one. At the last minute he included Hoshi and Yuki. He asked each child to tell the truth before posing a few, simple questions. He did not try to question Ran; he decided to leave that to Iruka-sensei.

It was very revealing. All the sleepovers had been covers for trips into the void, so there had been three separate expeditions. Yuki was in it up to his neck. The boys had excluded Hoshi because they thought she would tell. It had been Haru’s idea to go into the void; no surprise there. It had been Kuuya’s idea for Yuki to ask for the sleepover to get Hoshi out of the nursery, which was interesting. It had been Kazuki’s idea to go down a level so that they could make more noise.

Hoshi was not in the least offended that her brothers had hoodwinked her; she wasn’t even cross with Yuki.


Sasuke decided to discuss it with Iruka-sensei.

Iruka listened carefully, sipping the tea Sasuke had made him through a straw.

“Shall we start with the positives?” he suggested when Sasuke had finished.

Sasuke was not feeling particularly positive. “None of them were injured,” he conceded.

“There are far more than that,” Iruka insisted. “They showed excellent initiative and admirable teamwork. Kuuya displayed a creativity that you did not know he had. Haru has a peer group commitment you feared was missing. Yuki obviously has potential for espionage. I have to confess I am more pleased that Ran is being so social than angry that he has been out of his room at night.”

Sasuke smiled at the comment about Yuki. Iruka-sensei was correct. In a weird way he was proud of them for breaking free as soon as they were offered the chance. “Hoshi understands limits,” he added. Perhaps he had been harsh with Haru. Although Haru was by far the most intelligent, experienced and imaginative, Sasuke knew he did not understand limits.

“And the lessons learnt?” Iruka prompted.

Sasuke shivered. “Mostly old lessons revisited. Haru’s mental abilities far exceed his judgement. Adding in the experience he acquired while kidnapped has not helped. Having hybrid brothers means that Hikaru and possibly Haru will push themselves beyond their limits to keep up.” He considered. “The kits have Naruto’s ingenuity. I had not appreciated that.” He tried to think more widely. “We have to work on developing their judgement. They need to be able to distinguish between a rule that makes managing them more convenient and one that stops them getting hurt.”

“They have to behave for other reasons than Kiba making them,” Iruka agreed.

Sasuke did not argue. They both knew that it was not quite that simple but it was a point that needed to be made. “Did Ran tell you anything interesting?” he asked, deliberately changing the subject.

Iruka smiled. “Not much. I think he thought it was all very tame until Hi-chan was stuck on the ladder. He did not like that. He feels surprisingly protective towards them because they are younger than him. What will you do next?”

“Lecture,” Sasuke decided. He had learned the skill from the master before him. It was now time to use it.

---

Haru and his brothers sat in three rows of three on the floor of the gym. Hoshi was with Ayame in the playroom. Ran was with Iruka-san.

They were waiting for Papa.

Haru been worried about talking to Papa earlier that morning but it had been easy. He had answered all Papa’s questions truthfully. He had waited for Papa to ask him why they had gone into the void that first time but he hadn’t. He had thought that Papa would ask, “Is there anything else you should tell me, Haru-chan?” like Kiba-san always did but he didn’t.

It looked like Kazuki had not told about the network either, probably because Papa had not asked and Kazu-chan would have wanted to keep Haru’s secret.

Haru wasn’t worried about Ran. He knew Ran would not tell anyone.

Papa walked in and shut the door behind him. He sat on the floor facing them.

“It is very hard without your To-chan,” Papa began. “I cannot look after you the way he and Kiba-san do. I apologise for that.”

Haru felt terrible. Papa was blaming himself. It was his fault, not Papa’s fault. He had shown Kazuki the ducts and the void.

“I need to know you are safe,” Papa continued. “I need to be able to sleep at night and not wake up worrying where you are and what you are doing. It is bad enough having your To-chan in a tank in the infirmary without imagining you there too.”

“We promise to be good,” Yasushi said from Haru’s left. Haru looked over to him. Ya-chan’s eyes were huge and filled with tears.

Papa smiled at him. “No, Ya-chan. I don’t want you to make promises you can’t keep. Could you promise me not to go into the voids? Could all of you promise me that?”

“I promise, Papa,” Haru said, along with his eight brothers. He hoped his network did not go wrong. If it did he would have to accept it. He had promised Papa, like he had promised Papa not to try to access the data streams except through Shi-chan’s filters.


Papa didn’t say anything else other than to suggest they sent an apology to Hana-san for disturbing her. Haru realised that Hana-san, Konan-san, In-san and En-san must live in the layer below the crew room.

Hana would hear like Kiba-san; they had not had a chance.


Then they went back into the playroom and started the apology letter for Hana-san. None of them could write neatly, so they asked Misora to write it using their words and signed it.

After that they wrote a letter to Papa saying sorry.

---

Shikamaru was analysing the latest influx of information. Once it had been integrated into the array he began running his standard enquiries while he constructed four more to address new issues.

One of the allied crews, the Electron’s, had been reporting regularly and had stopped; one of the four new queries was to try and find them.

He came out of the data streams. He was too tired to be effective. Being up half the night and the saki had not helped.

Neji was busy doing household stuff in Iruka-sensei’s office. Even if he wasn’t, Shikamaru was not up to the inevitable lecture about doing too much on too little sleep.

He would go and see Na-chan.


He slipped unseen through the infirmary and into Naruto’s side room.

Unlike Sasuke, he was not comfortable conducting a one-sided conversation. Instead he sat on the floor and dwelt on how much he missed Naruto’s company, his voice and his comforting touch.

Perhaps it was a bad idea to come here.


He started back to the laboratory only to run into Rin.

“Shika-san,” she greeted him. “Are you here to discuss implants?”

Shikamaru’s thinking shot out along a starburst of paths. What did he know about implants? Why implants? Was Central implant technology the most advanced or were there others? Why now? Organic or inorganic? Which organs? Did someone need them? What were the limitations? Did Na-chan need them?

His thought processes froze. Did Na-chan need them? “Implants?” he queried.

Rin flushed. “My misunderstanding,” she insisted. “How may I help you, Shika-san?” she asked.

He muttered an excuse and hurried back to the laboratory. Within a minute he was through Rin’s security and into Naruto’s medical file.


The regenerated tissue had been rejected. Rin had made three attempts, each with the same result.

Unless they could come up with a solution Naruto would be a cripple with no functional kidneys and no sensation or movement below the waist.

Shikamaru could not understand why Rin had not started some clones. A cloned embryo would be a source of stem cells. An older foetus could provide partially differentiated cells. If necessary, Rin could stop the brain developing, harvest the nascent organs and grow them to maturity.

Then he saw them; the restrictions Naruto had placed on possible treatments. Shikamaru did not know who to be angry with: Naruto for being so stubborn, Rin for behaving ethically or Sasuke for not overruling her.


He took a few breaths to calm himself. Shizune’s idea about using Keizo’s umbilical cord was clever. It could work. It had to work. If it didn’t, Sasuke would crack and insist that Rin started clones.

Implants could not restore Naruto; they could only mitigate his condition.

Na-chan had to recover; he just had to.

---

Sasuke slid the precious sheet of paper carefully into a portfolio. The children’s letter to Hana had been painfully neat with their best attempts at signatures well away from Misora’s tidy script. His letter had been written by Yuki, who could only just manage the characters. There were splotches, fingerprints and smudges. As well as their signatures, there were small drawings around the edges.

He would keep it forever.

Before too long he would share it with Naruto.


Time for the follow-up to the morning’s lecture. He made his way back to the playroom and sat at one of the tables. Ran had come back with the children after the midmeal, which was good because Sasuke wanted him included in the discussion.

He ordered his sons and Ran to join him and invited the others; Hoshi, Ayame and Keitaro chose to do so.

“Why was what you did last night a bad idea?” he asked.

“Hi-chan almost fell off the ladder,” Ryuu said immediately.

“What would have happened if he had fallen?” he asked.

There was a short silence. “He could have been killed,” Keitaro answered, his voice soft.

“Thank you, Keitaro-kun,” Sasuke acknowledged. “Or he could have been hurt.”

“He could be hurt and die before Rin-san could reach him,” Haru added.

“He could be hurt and die before medicos could reach him,” Sasuke confirmed. “Now, how are the adventures we create for you different from your adventure?”

“Adults are there,” Hoshi said promptly.

“And what do the adults do?” Sasuke asked.


Very slowly they built up the idea that someone had to decide how dangerous the adventure was and whether the dangers could be reduced.

Sasuke took a deep breath. He asked the most important of his questions. “Did you realise it was too dangerous?”

Hikaru and Haru answered yes. Ran’s eyes said yes but he chose to stay silent.

“When?” Sasuke asked. “Hi-chan?”

“When I started climbing back up the ladder,” Hikaru admitted. “But I kept climbing.” He frowned. “I should have stopped.”

Sasuke nodded. “The right thing to do, the brave thing to do, was to admit that you couldn’t climb the ladder. Ha-chan?”

Haru was pale. He was biting his bottom lip. “Before we went down the ladder. I thought someone might fall and be killed.”

The others looked at him. “You didn’t say,” Kazuki accused.

“No,” Haru whispered.

Sasuke decided to push. Haru was his son as well as Shikamaru’s; maybe he could learn about limits. “You should have said, Haru-chan, even if they had refused to listen. They did not see the risk. You did.”

---

Shikamaru could not concentrate. What if Naruto’s body rejected Keizo’s cells? What if Sasuke refused to go against Naruto’s instructions. What if the only option became implants? There had to be a better alternative.

He decided to do something he usually avoided. He braced himself and then opened his mind, removing all the divisions and compartments he used in order to think in parallel, hoping for a thought that would lead somewhere useful.


Tendrils of reasoning, some begun long ago, were released, coiled back and lashed across this consciousness. Shikamaru weathered the storm. He tried to be objective and not be carried up to each peak and down into each trough.

Finally his thoughts settled. He began sorting through the debris. There was nothing about regeneration or implants. Instead, horribly clear, there was something he had missed; a conclusion based on shreds of evidence he had failed to connect.

If it were valid, he should have linked Deidara with Orochimaru standards before.


He was in his data crystal array within seconds. His fingers flew over the interface. Some of the evidence they had collected in the Warren and afterwards had never been properly analysed; its outcomes never integrated. Shikamaru could not remember why.

There, in an interview with Sickler, was the name, Deidara, and a description; blond, purebred male. Deidara had made and planted Han’s bombs in the Warren. It was highly likely that Orochimaru had planted him in the Kaiju.


He should have connected Deidara to the Akatsuki. Then he would have been anticipating a bomb. He would have reviewed the station’s defences. He would have seen the gaps. He would have focused on the limitations of the detection systems.

Naruto wouldn’t be crippled. Ma, Pa and the others would still be alive.


He pulled away his earpieces and goggles. What was the point of being what he was if he could not protect the people he loved?

He stumbled out of the laboratory. He did not know where he was going. Not to Neji; Neji would persist until he admitted what was wrong and then try to persuade him that it was not his fault. Not to the infirmary; he could not bear to see Naruto suspended in the tank.

He found himself in the crew room but the double doors to Iruka-sensei’s room were closed.

Sasuke’s office was empty. Maybe he was in the playroom?


The playroom was empty. Shikamaru stood there, confused. Then he saw the pairs of shoes, one large and nine small, outside the snug.

Nine?

He cast about. There in a far corner was Haru.

---

Haru sat huddled over his tablet. He still wanted his network but a small part of him hated it. Without the network he would never have gone into the void to connect it. Kazuki would have never gone with him and Hikaru would have never nearly fallen from the ladder.

Even though it was his fault, it hurt to have Papa blame him. When everyone had fallen asleep in the snug he had lain awake, his gut twisting and knotting.

In the end he had wriggled out and crept away. Papa, because he was not To-chan, had stayed asleep.


Someone was coming. He automatically changed the settings on the tablet to show something innocent.

It was Shi-chan. He pulled over one of the rocking chairs and sat down. Haru abandoned the tablet, went to him and climbed into his lap.

Shi-chan held him. It was like it had been when they were kidnapped.

“I miss To-chan,” Haru whispered.

“So do I,” Shi-chan admitted.

Haru had to ask. Shi-chan was the only person who would know the answer.

“Is it always like this? My plan worked but other things happened. Things I didn’t plan for. Things that could hurt other people.” Haru watched a tear fall onto Shi-chan’s shirt. He wiped his eyes but his hand came away dry.

Haru looked up. There were tears running down Shi-chan’s face.

“Yes, Haru-chan,” he confirmed. “It is always like this.”

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