Jiraiya: The Chou-Hentai! (Super Pervert)

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. We All know this. I think the fact that I even have to say it- considering it's a fanfiction site- is sad.

Summary: Naruto knows Jiraiya is a chuu-hentai (super pervert), but the true meaning of that never hit him until something unexpected happened. How will Naruto deal with it? Naruto/Jiraiya

Warnings: Slash- Jiraiya and Naruto; Naruto will be 17 in this fic; which means it's a few years down the road- since 13 just seems too wrong; Jiraiya is- obviously - 50 something. Let's stress 'Dirty-Old-Man' -much worse than watching the ladies at the spa kinda thing. If what happens in this fic disturbs you, don't complain to me. I just seem to like the idea of the two, and my mind wont register the age difference. Plus, it'll probably be slash, and it'll probably take forever to finish. Oh yeah- do I HAVE to warn you against language?

Note: I'm not promising *anything* except that Naruto and Jiraiya ..Also, This is also posted, with less details, on Fationtion.net.

Oh yeah, and there are just some things you wouldn't get if you haven't read up to the 215th Manga issue. I'm not spoiling it or anything. It'll just seem like a strange A/U if you haven't. Although, it kinda already is A/U, I mean- It's Naru/Jira!

Oh, and Um, I think Chuu-hentai mean's 'Super Pervert'

***

It was morning. The sun was rising, there was a stupid bird on Naruto's window cill chirping. He shouldn't be able to hear it so loudly, though. He thought he closed that damned window last night.

It didn't matter, the 17 year old boy still had to get up. He was probably late already. Jiraiya was going to take him on a trip to The Hidden Cloud Village on a very important mission. The Cloud country in itself was a ways away, and they had to go through Sound Country to get there. Jiraiya said they were going to skirt around it, keep close to it's border with the ocean.

He was told he wouldn't be told why they were going to The Hidden Cloud Village until after they were nearly there. Naruto couldn't understand why, though. He didn't know Jiraiya and the 5th felt he would refuse the mission if he knew why they were going.

Naruto stretched and moved, sluggishly, into the bathroom. The 17 year old slumped slightly over the bathroom sink and studied the reflection in the mirror.

He'd grown so much over the past four years. So incredibly much that, he even realized that when people said 'you've grown' they didn't mean physically. Naruto still had the same goals, the same personality, the same wild enthusiasm, the same confidence and the same spithatthat he used to have. He was different, still; he had changed. He knew more skills, he knew how to handle himself better on the battle field, he knew when to be quiet, and learned to think before he acted.

Naruto had become a very great Ninja, and still was not recognized by the community. Hinata had lost her crush on him and found herself quite taken with the creepy Shino. Sakura had been, very strangely, taken with Chouji. After much training from an unknown source, Sasuke had left overear ear ago in search of his brother. Kakashi had denied him training for such a useless act. Shikamaru had found love with the intelligent blond from Sand, Temari. Rock Lee and Gaara had developed a very intimate relationship. Ino had become very interested in Kankuro, the puppeteer from sand. Even Neji and Tenten seemed to have found love with each other. Kiba and Naruto were the odd ones out; but neither held remotely any interest in the other. They botd fod found it very strange how 5 groups from the Chunnin exam, so long ago, had found couplings with each other.

It wasn't very surprising though. Due to conditions, like a lot of violent activity from the Sound Country, they were forced to work together. Especially since each and every one of them had become a Chunnin. All at their own pace, of course. Sasuke got his the 4th time around, Naruto the 5th, Kiba had done it the 3rd time around, Temari the 2nd, Tenten the 6th, Lee the 3rd, Gaara the 2nd, Hinata the 4th, Ino the 7th, Shino the 2nd, Kankuro the 3rd, and Neji the 2nd. Sakura and Chouji both got theirs the 8th time around, which just took place only a few months ago.

Naruto smirked at his image in the mirror. He was still alone. He never had anyone, he had never known anyone; let alone kissed anyone. He never got a shot with Sakura, he never even picked up on Hinata liking him until it was too late. Then they were all told who he was; what he held inside of him. Sasuke had figured it out; and then told everyone until the Hokage caught wind of it and put a stop to it. Almost everyone withdrew from him for a while, discluding Sakura, Shikamaru, Lee and Gaara. That was- until it finally came down to a very huge confrontation right in front of the Hokage, the four previously mentioned very proudly stating how much they knew and cared for Naruto. Naruto had his friends, who he loved and held close to his heart; but there was still something missing. There was a place deep inside of him that just ached to be filled; and it wasn't his stomach.

Yeah, Sasuke was vengeful all right. The bastard was jealous of Naruto's attention and abilities. Sasuke's inability to admit his own shortcomings proved to be his downfall. In fact, most people avoided him during his last months in the Hidden Leaf Village. The boy had become more introverted and dark. His inability to recognize that he needed to work to become a match for Itachi stopped him from being a match for the man. Sasuke was trapped in a dark circle, one that even Naruto failed to pull him out of. The same Naruto that managed to inadvertently pull Neji and Gaara from their holes could not manage with Sasuke. He was lost.

Naruto sighed deeply and stripped down, stepping into the shower. He had to hurry.

****

"Naruto, a Shinobi is always on time." Jiraiya said, reprimanding him as the blonde-haired man approached, 10 minutes late.

"You tell that to Kakashi-sensei, Ero-Sennin." Naruto kept walking right on past Jiraiya, towards the gate. Jiraiya wasted no time in falling in next to the 17 year old. The two walked silently to, and through, the gate. In fact, they walked silently for a while.

"Are you going to teach me more skills on this trip, Ero-Sennin?" Naruto suddenly burst out.

"You've known me for going on 5 years now, Naruto-" The hermit began.

"Is that a yes?" Naruto cut him off.

"I'm one of the legendary three-" He continued, as if he hadn't been interrupted.

"So you know a lot of Jutsu!" Naruto said excitedly, as dense as ever. The two continued walking at the same pace.

"- And would appreciate it very much -"

"Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease..." It was as if he was ignoring Jiraiya.

"- If you called me Jiraiya."

"You'll always been Ero-Sennin to me."

Jiraiya ground his teeth together, and grabbed Naruto's collar, planting his feet firmly on the ground. Naruto stumbled backwards at the sudden yank on his collar, being nearly choked. He stared at the 54-Year-Old man with wide eyes.

"You will call me Jiraiya, Naruto, or I will not teach you Jutsu any longer." He ground out. Naruto had never seen Ero-Sennin so serious before. "Where we are going, you cannot refer to me as Ero-Sennin. It is best for you to start saying 'Jiraiya' now, so do ndo not slip up."

"But why, Ero-Sennin?"

"LISTEN YOU DUMBASS!" The white-haired man bellowed, pulling Naruto by the collar right up to him, "YOU WILL DO AS I SAY BECAUSE I SAID SO!" He threw Naruto down, with little force, and walked ahead at a fast pace.

Naruto trailed along, behind, silently for some time.

"Jiraiya," Naruto began cautiously, deciding to play by his rules, "What Jutsu are you going to teach me?"

"I'm going to teach you a Jutsu that allows you to 'teleport'. You insert your Chakra into the ground at any desired point, and name it. The distance you can 'teleport' depends on the amount of Chakra you have. The further the distance, the more draining it is. There are three steps to this. The first, you must learn to insert your Chakra into the ground. The more Chakra you leave the longer it stays in that area. You can practice this tonight wherever we make camp."

The two walked in companionable silence for a bit longer. Naruto appeared to be turning the information over in his mind.

"Ero-Sennin, I'm hungry." Naruto stated, flatly.

"..."

"Jiraiya.."

"We can make camp now, then. There's a calm river nearby; we can fish in there. And wash up if need be."

"But sundown is a few hours away! I can still walk!"

"No. Here is good."

"Why don't we go to a village?"

"We're keeping a low profile."

"..."

Jiraiya handed Naruto a pack he'd been carrying. "Set up camp. Tent's in there. If you can, get a fire going. I'm going to catch some fish."

The hermit turned and started walking off in the direction he knew the river was in.

Naruto stared at the pack for a moment before everything clicked. "Hey! Wait! Ero- I mean, Jiraiya!"

"..." Jiraiya slowed his pace a little.

"Why do I have to do all the work! Let me fish and you do this!"

"... just do it." He picked his pace back up again, and soon disappeared into the woods.

Naruto sighed and set to work putting the tent up.

****

Naruto had long finished setting the tent up, gathered wood, and started a fire before the toad hermit had come back. In fact, the young 17 year old was glaring at him as he slowly sauntered towards him.

"Took your goddamn time, didn't you?"

"M-hm"

"Where's the fish?"

"Huh?"

"Come on, Ero-Sennin, I'm starving."

"..."

"Jiraiya."

"There were some very lovely ladies taking a swim."

"...I'M HUNGRY!"

"Then go catch us some fish. I'm going to take a nap."

"That's not fair!"

"I'm the one training you. Consider it payment."

"I set up the campsite!"

"You call that payment for four years worth of training?"

"..."

Jiraiya say down under a tree and laid his head back against it, closing his eyes. Naruto slumped defeatedly and walked off in the direction the Ero-Sennin came in.

****

"Are you going to teach me the Jutsu now, Er- Jiraiya?" Naruto asked, after finishing the last bite of his fish. He leaned back against the log behind him and stared at the fire. The sun was just setting.

"No." Jiraiya said firmly. He had finished his fish before Naruto.

"WHAT?!" The tone in Naruto's voice was outraged.

"I'll teach you tomorrow."

"How am I going to train?!"

"We'll stay here until noon. You can train until then, we'll eat lunch, and then leave."

"Ok." Naruto knew Jiraiya would hold true to his word. Sometimes the man swayed a little but he never failed in teaching him a technique when he said he would.

Jiraiya stood up and stretched. "Put out the fire, Naruto. We're going to bed. We have to get up early tomorrow if I'm going to teach you."

"ALRIGHT!" Naruto jumped up to his each and started scooping dirt up and throwing it on the fire. Jiraiya grinned slightly and ducked into the tent.

After a few minutes, Naruto finally had the fire out. Then, he crept into the tent as well.

"Ero-Sennin, there is not a lot of space in here.." He spoke as he laid down, almost right on top of the hermit.

Jiraiya grunted. "If you don't like it, sleep outside."

Naruto didn't say another word. He turned over on his side, tugged some blanket over him, and closed his eyes. Jiraiya did the same, so his back was to Naruto's. Jiraiya fell asleep quickly.

"You better teach me, Ero-Sennin." Naruto's voice barely whispered. He fell asleep moments later.

****

Next Chappie: Naruto wakes up with a problem... and Jiraiya shows the first stage of the Jutsu!

That's where the fun starts :)

Tell me what you think!