Climbing

Hey! This is my
first official Naruto fic (and
shounen-ai one!). My first attempt (“Narcissus”) was so horrible I deleted it
and decided to wait for the gods of inspiration to be a little more accepting
of the idea. Do you ever have that problem where you have really great ideas,
but the second you write them down they’re worthless? Well, that’s what it’s
like for me.

This
story was inspired (and gets its title) from the name of a tape I have of my ex
step mom’s singing from the year before we met. She had (and still sort of has)
a really great voice. Well on this tape are a much of songs, some
her own, but mostly songs from different artists. I haven’t yet asked
her permission if I can use her songs, so I’ll just stick with the one(s) that
aren’t hers.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. If
Naruto was mine there would be sooooo much more romance. If the songs were
mine…. Um…. All
I own is the tape, probably the only one that exists in the world…

Warnings: shounen-ai of the
SasuNaru variety (did I really need to tell you that?), angst galore, slight
NC, songfic. I wasn’t sure whether this would count as PG-13 or R, so I decided
to play it safe with R.

One-shot? class=GramE>More chapters? If there is more chapters it will go
backwards in time, starting with this chapter, and getting slightly more fluffy
in each chapter until they reach the beginning of their relationship or even
earlier….

Climbing

Chapter One?:
Indigo Girls: Left Me a Fool

Everybody
loves you

And they want to know your story

You go riding out a mystery

Concealed in all your glory

He
sighed, and snuggled closer to other figure, his forehead resting against a
pale back. The darkness of the room concealed the clutter of the apartment
(ramen cups and ninja scrolls scattered liberally), as well as the bruise on his
cheek. His dark haired lover’s fangirls had been especially vigorous that day.
When they had discovered that Sasuke had escaped their incessant babbling while
Naruto had been distracting them all by bragging about how Sasuke was such a
jerk and Naruto could beat him any day, they gave him such a beating that that
day in the class room after the “first kiss” seemed to pale in comparison.
Naturally Kyuubi had healed him, but the final bruise had yet to completely
heal. Of course, all the girls were as deeply in love with Sasuke as they had
been five years ago. No girl spared a glance toward the now quite attractive
Naruto, their parents attitude toward him still
blocking their capacity to find him as anything more than a friend. Hinata, who
had confessed to him and been politely rejected, had moved on to class=SpellE>Kiba.

But
when it comes to flesh and bones

You remind me of shallot

Only made of shadows

Even though you're not

Life had been…
happy for once when they had first gotten together. The blonde boy’s happiest memories
were when he was with his boyfriend, kissing, touching, training, or simply
just being together, in each other’s arms. But things had been changing….
Naruto was beginning to see the real Sasuke, and he didn’t like what he saw at
all.

I
remember how I spent

All my energy and time

With affected conversation

For a long time
after being accepted by the one he loved, he had no longer felt the need to
drive Sasuke insane with chatter designed to try deatelately to figure out what
Sasuke thought of him. He knew that the ramblings had driven the Uchiha insane,
but he just needed a get a reaction, any reaction out of him…

Lately, he had
started doing it again. He hadn’t meant to, at first he didn’t understand why
he did it, but as time went on, and Naruto started to feel more and more
insecure, he started talking more and more.

Naruto pressed his
head harder against the back, willing its owner to turn around and hold him.

You
are as beautiful as truth

And as empty as a shell

And I came to you one night

And it made me feel like hell

A shell… That was
the only word that could properly describe Sasuke…. He had subconsciously first
come to suspect right before Sasuke had run off to finally kill Itachi. Sasuke
had been incredibly restless before he left: snappish, even going so far as to
threaten his younger lover’s life, Sharingan in full battle mode. Naruto still
shivered in the night when he remembered those red eyes, black commas beginning
to swirl dangerously. Only Naruto’smblimbling and frightened face (which had
been steadily turning blue from lack of oxygen) seemed to bring Sasuke out of
whatever thoughts weighed him down. He had apologized, but….

style='mso-spacerun:yes'> When Sasuke had returned… he was like a
corpse. Most people didn’t notice, of course. To them he was still Sasuke the
Ice Prince.

But Naruto noticed.

Oh
to reach through all your surface

Just to find an empty pool

And to suffer all your pride

As I lay down by your side

And you swaed ued up my heart

And left me a fool

Left me a fool

The dark haired
boy had gone back to calling him “Dobe.” As if all those years together hadn’t
meant a thing. He seemed to lord over the other boy, that he had killed Itachi
and Naruto hadn’t, although why the Hokage wannabe would want to do so in the
first place remained a mystery. At night, which had once been a time of
gentleness and love confessions, there was nothing. Sasuke would arrive, Naruto
would let him in, they’d get undressed, and go to bed.
That was it. No words were spoken, there were no caresses, no intimate
touching. The few times Naruto had tried to entice his boyfriend had been
disastrous. Either Sasuke would push Naruto off in an irritated manner and not
come back the next day, or he would be so rough with Naruto it style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>hurt, and didn’t feel good at all.
Despite all this, the kitsune could no more think of breaking off their
relationship as he could physically stop himself from breathing.

Everybody
loves a hero

An image to create

The antithesis of everything

Inside ourselves we hate

But you'd better close your eyes

When it's time for them to die

Because you'd hate to think the life

You'd built upon them was a lie

Oh
to reach through all your
Just to find an empty pool

And to suffer all your pride

As I lay down by your side

And you swallowed up my heart

And left me a fool

Left me a fool

Sasuke was Konoha’s
hero. Despite his attempt to join Orochimaru, despite the fact that it was
Naruto who brought Sasuke back, most of the village still saw Sasuke as the
genius and Naruto as the demon. His friends didn’t agree with the philosophy,
but as of now they were a minority. Maybe when all the elders had died and the
new generation took their places that things would change. Naruto still saw the
cold glares and the hatred, but he also saw Sasuke trying to indirectly protect
him. When he saw that he would remember how much he loved Sasuke and gine
ne
of his real smiles for him, not the fox grin, but a real smile. None of this
happened anymore. He was no longerng png protected.

Sasuke ignored the glares as if it
didn’t matter and their friends never realized…

I
resign myself to silence

I will never blow your cover

No one ever has to know

Who the hero took for lover

But it has come to mind as you blaze on

As brilliant as a star

How many you've left behind

How many casualties there are

Only
one person knew of their relationship: Sakura. It had been impossible to keep
it from her. She had known something was up with her teammates and had promptly
threatened to leave them to the mercy of Inner Sakura if the didn’t ‘fess up…
She had taken the news that her long time crush was in love with a boy, her own
teammate no less, surprisingly well. Apparently, her fangirl tendencies had
merely become habit, just as Naruto still called out “SAKURA-CHAAAAAAAN” every
morning. She supported them fully, and when she wasn’t laughing too hard, she
helped Sasuke escape from the rabid fangirls. It had come as a surprise to her
when Sasuke, still reluctant to admit to the world that he loved Naruto, asked
if it would be alright if she would pretend to be his girlfriend. She had
hesitated, glancing anxiously at Naruto, seeing the pained, but accepting look
and nod, and had said yes. It had hurt. Oh yes, it had hurt so badly knowing
that Sasuke would rather have a pretend girlfriend to try to stave off fangirls
(which didn’t work -_-;;;) than admit the truth.

It
also hurt how much lower in rank he was. Sasuke was now an Anbu, leader of a
squad, and rumored candidate for next Hokage, despite his young age. Naruto had
never been able to get away from the villagers’ prejudice enough to earn the
rank on Jounin. Yes, Naruto was still a Chuunin, working at his favorite ramen
stand as a part time job and taking missions. He had given up on becoming
Jounin last year. It had killed something in him to give up his dream like
that, but what could he do?

Oh to reach through class=GramE>all your surface

Just to find an empty pool

And to suffer all your pride

As I lay down by your side

And you swallowed up my heart

He slipped out of
the small bed, making sure the other didn’t awaken. Very quietly he got dressed
and exited the room softly. After all, it wouldn’t do to get caught and
stopped, now would it? A note was left on the kitchen table, as a shadow
ghosted through the door.

The view of Konoha
was splendid from the top of the Hokage monument.

‘Sasuke…. Will you
miss me? Did you…. Did you ever really love me? I know the villagers will
rejoice that I’ll be gone. But will you? I hurt when I’m away from you, I hurt
when I’m close to you. I can’t stand this anymore. My heart… It hurts so much.
Maybe Gaara had the right idea. You know, the one
about only loving oneself? Yeah. I just wish I knew what you really felt about
me. I know longer have any dreams. My only reason for living is you. But when
you are so close, yet so far away from me, how am I supposed to feel? Sasuke, I
love you. I’ll always love you. Good bye.’ Dark eyes scanned the note in a
panic, having been woken by the loss of warmth by his side. He cursed himself
for being so wrapped up in his own Itachi complex, believing that being distant
meant his loved one couldn’t be hurt. Of course the dark eyed one loved his
only reason for living. But Itachi’s last threat right before the end of the
battle had still been resounding through his head: style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>‘What will you do now, outoto? Two boys
cannot make a clan. The next time I see you with him as more than just a
teammate, I’ll come for him, and kill him.’ ‘But what about the Kyuubiclass=GramE>?...’ ‘I am tired of constantly trying to get him and
failing. No, I’d rather have the satisfaction of killing him now.’ True,
Itachi was dead now, but the fear of the threat lived on. So he had tried to
let Naruto go, intentionally ignoring and sometimes hurting him. It hadn’t
worked, but had only served to further tear the last Uchiha’s heart apart. Who
was the real baka now? Dark eyes ran off into the night hoping that he wouldn’t
be too late before he lost his sunshine.

He stepped off.

And
left me a fool

Left me a fool

Rain poured down.
Inside a cold mansion, pale wrists stained a tub Sharingan red. class=GramE>Soon… Soon he would be with his sunshine once more. For the
first time in a long time, pale thin lips smiled and mouthed, “Wait for me,”
into the silent air.

class=GramE>Owari?