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This is a sort of peace offering, since I have barely started on chapter four of W"atching", and I don't think it's going to be out any time soon. I actually wrote this a long time ago and posted it in my LJ, but I thought someone here might enjoy it. It's just a little drabble I wrote because I was all depressed after reading a Sasu/Naru fic, and needed to cheer myself up. Yes, to get RID of angst, I WRITE angst. Strange, I know, but it makes me feel better. Therefore, beware of wangst when reading this. It seems to lurk in the things I write, waiting to pounce my poor, unsuspecting readers.

By the way, they're older than twelve in this, so consider it a TWT. Because I say so.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, and am making no profit from this story.

***

The pain came when there was nothing to do.

That was one thing that Naruto had learned in his life. That wretched, heart wrenching pain came between activities, when one had the time to think about things that shouldn’t be thought about in the first place. Things like demons sealed inside of innocent children. Being hated.

Being left behind.

Naruto learned to keep himself busy. He laughed, he smiled, he acted like an idiot as often as was required, which turned out to be a lot of the time. It was fun, juvenile, and most importantly, distracting. The in between times came less and less as he developed more things to fill his time. There was Kakashi, Sakura, Iruka. Sasuke.

And then the bad thing happened. The thing that brought with it a whole new world of pain that Naruto had never known existed. A horrible pain that made him feel both empty and weighted down at the same time. Like everything inside of him had been removed with the loss on that one, perfect person. How could he resist that terrible weight when there was nothing left inside to hold him up?

But Naruto had experience with these things. He knew what to do when he felt the pain. He filled his life with activities, as he had always done before. Missions, friends, anything to keep his mind occupied. He returned to his normal routine, and his happy, carefree attitude returned as well; his convenient shield against the world.

But the pain was still there. It would catch him when he least expected it. When there was a lull in the cheerful chatter while he was out with his friends. When he was laying in bed, in the last moments before he fell asleep. His mind would wander back into the past and that terrible knowledge would become painfully clear.

He’s gone.

You are never going to see him again.

He’s never going to insult you again. He’s never going to glare at you again. He’s never going to look at you in that way that lets you know that you’re being an idiot, but he’ll let it pass because you’re his idiot.

He’s never going to kiss you again.

Ever.

And there was the pain. No longer bright and searing hot as it had been at first, but worse, a dull, slow ache that would never truly disappear. The entire world would seem to close in around him as the pain pulsed in his chest and he stared into nothing. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He could only feel.

And then the world would return as Sakura gave him that concerned look and patted his arm, or Kiba said something loud and obnoxious, or Naruto himself fell asleep, curled into a ball in his big, empty bed.

He would go on with his life as he waited for the next moment to catch him. The next brief, but earth shattering flash of pain that told him that no, it wasn’t some horrible dream that he would wake up from, tears in his eyes as he tightened his arms around Sasuke’s waist, whispered his fears, and waited for the grudging words of comfort.

There was no Sasuke to wake up to.

And there never would be again.

***