Cooperation

Disclaimer: Naruto and all charaters mentioned in this story belong to someone else. Thank you for reading.
/...../ thought
"......" speech.
Duh.
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Cooperation

Sasuke kicked off from the branch harder than was strictly necessary. Pieces of bark floated in his wake as he made his way through the forest, searching for his target.

/Where is that dobe?/ Sasuke thought, giving a passing branch a viscious swipe.

Sasuke was, surprise surprise, in a bad mood. When he was in a bad mood Sasuke had a habit of taking it out on Naruto. Naruto had a habit of handing it right back to him with interest. Or Naruto had had a habit of handing it back to him. But over the last year Naruto'd grown more and more elusive, and Sasuke more and more pissed off about it. What kind of rival wasn't there to be rivaled against?

Why was Sasuke so pissed off? It didn't matter, any one of a hundred little things served to piss off the ex-dark avenger, and only one person could give him the satisfaction he needed.
No, not like that. The idea of Naruto's scrawny white butt did not send him into shivers of ecstasy, even in secret. Beating Naruto, or trying to, had never before failed to work out his anger. It wouldn't fail now, if he could just pinpoint the damn foxboy.

Sasuke slowed down as he approached one of Naruto's regular training spots. Training spots like these were semi-private. Ninja were notorious for their paranoia about their special moves. Most ninja had a particular area in the wide forests surrounding Konoha where they went to practice said special moves. Such areas were politely avoided by other ninja as a matter of inter-ninja etiquette. It was wise as such lacks of manners had gotten people killed in the past. Sasuke just didn't give a damn.

Finding it empty, he stumped over to the kicking post and considered scrawling a rough Naruto face on it and crushing it into the dirt.

"Mmmmmm, oh!"

Sasuke's head swung around as if it were magnatised towards the sound.

"Haaaaaaa....." The breathing seemed so loud now that he'd noticed it.

No, not breathing, panting.

Sasuke's lip curled. Someone was certainly enjoying themselves. Sasuke prided himself on his lack of interest in the opposite sex. He would never be caught out in the woods fucking some bimbo just for the sensations. If he had an itch he beat it out onto something else. Sasuke rejected the idea that it could be Naruto immediately.

The idiot was still in love Sakura, and that simpering little fool was still in love with him. Some stupid idea Naruto had about proving his love through fidelity stopped him from even trying with another girl, even after all these years of rejection. Though considering he was the unclean carrier of the Kyuubi, Sasuke's guessed Naruto didn't have many options at all. Sakura of all three of them had options, but she was still hooked on Sasuke, and Sasuke took a savage pleasure in crushing her hopes day after day.

"Oh, Naruto!"
Sasuke stopped dead. The dobe was involved? For an instant a riduculous image of Naruto screwing some faceless, big breasted woman popped into his head. Almost snorting in derision Sasuke stalked over towards the sound. Yanking Naruto out of his slut should get him good and ready for a fight.

"Ahhhhhhh, don't stop."

Sasuke stopped dead again. He knew that voice, though it was softer, more breathy than normal.

/Heated,/ Sasuke thought curious despite himself. /I never knew a voice could sound so heated./

Melding into the forest Sasuke approached with all the silence he was capable of. Even Kakashi praised his stealth abilties, and there was very little that Kakashi praised him for nowadays. It wouldn't have mattered if he'd been an elephant Sasuke decided, crouching in the trees above the sight. The way Sakura had her thighs wrapped around Naruto's head meant he wasn't going to be hearing anything for a while. The glazed look in her eyes proved that her already weak detection skills were completely nulified. Sakura writhed on the ground grinding more dirt and leaves into her hair. Between her legs Naruto shifted position. He came up to kneeling, lifting her with him so only her shoulders still touched the ground.

The loose summer dress she was wearing, slid up (or down,) her stomach. The action revealing the scar she'd gotten fighting a member of the Akatsuki, he'd never bothered to learn his name. Her legs fell away from Naruto's ears, dropping to rest on his shoulders, and her eyes rolled up towards the trees where Sasuke was hiding.

Sasuke ducked back out of sight. Freed from watching his teammates Sasuke felt resentment and (surprise surprise,) anger welling up in him. So they thought they could make a fool of him did they? Carry out their little fuck sessions, and then act as if nothing had changed. Sakura, she thought she could hide the fact that she was Naruto's slut by still carrying out her pathetic crush on him? He'd make them pay, he'd make them regret it.

:Slut, bastard./

Next day

The next day Sasuke's hate had cooled and hardened. His habitual glares had darkened and his rebuffing of Sakura's tentative hello was even colder than normal. Sakura flinched and rubbed her arm nervously. Sasuke felt a thrill of satisfaction in her pain. Kakashi raised an eyebrow but said nothing as he lead his team towards the training grounds.

Everything seemed different to Sasuke's eyes. The brief looks passed behind his back, the way they stood close together. The way Naruto's hand would brush against Sakura as they practiced their team fighting. Sasuke chose to go opponent with Kakashi against Naruto and Sakura in the practice. Naruto seemed a little puzzled, but not worried about Sasuke's increased aggressivity, though Sakura warned Naruto to be careful.

Sasuke gritted his teeth. Telling the dobe to be careful, was going too far. She wasn't supposed to care about Naruto. She was supposed to be in love with him. He'd make her pay for that too.
Fighting Naruto and Sakura as a team wasn't a walkover, even with Kakashi. Kakashi tended to hold back on finishing moves anyway. He said it was only practice, Sasuke said he was hiding moves from them. Naruto still finished with an almost crippling wound.

Sakura healed it of course, but the dobe was still walking funny afterwards. Kakashi called a halt to practice after that and sent his team members home. He'd gazed at Sasuke for a while before giving him permission to leave, as if weighing the usefulness of grounding him out against the hassel of another yelling match.

Sasuke watched Sakura scuttle away towards her house with half lidded eyes.

:Don't think you'll escape bitch./

Later that afternoon

"I'm afraid the public soaking bath is being cleaned this afternoon, we do have private baths free if you'd like?"

"Uh, sure why not." Sakura said dispiritedly.

She'd never meant to let things go so far with Naruto. At first she'd only been reacting to the fact that she'd nearly died and he'd saved her. She only meant to kiss him to say thankyou. But he'd touched her and somehow he'd known exactly what to do to make her long dormant hormones jump. Suddenly they were searching each other out and she was letting him do outrageous things to her.

What really dissapointed her in herself though was that after each mindblowing orgasmic session with him (he always made sure she came, as if he was afraid she wouldn't come back to him otherwise,) he would whisper that he loved her. In return she would pat him on the head, her words twisting up inside herself with her selfloathing and she'd leave having said nothing.

Now though things weren't clear, she was falling in love with Naruto, with his hands, his tongue, his desire for her, his adoration of her. But she still couldn't tell him, couldn't tear herself away from the three of them as a team. So they stayed hidden, and he stayed unsatisfied because she wouldn't tell him that she loved him with her mouth. Only with her body, her willing body that welcomed his caresses, her lips that rained kisses on his muscled body.

Always the question resurfaced in the back of her mind, 'what about Sasuke?' It was their fault that he was in Konoha, they were the ones that dragged him back and now he lived practically under village arrest. How could they abandon him like that? The only reason he came back was to be part of the team again. How could they turn around and tell him that he was being left on the outside?

It was easy to trail Sakura from her house to the public baths. Even easier to overhear which private bath she was assigned. Sasuke formed his plan from there. She went into the shared female showering room to clean herself first. Sasuke went immediately towards the private baths set aside for women and settled in to wait.

At the sound of the door opening Sakura's head snapped up. Sasuke stood framed in the doorway, tall, pale, dressed only in a small towel wrapped around his waist. Drop dead, mouthwateringly sexy, and now Sakura had some idea of what sexy could make her feel.

Too shocked to think, she didn't even blink when he closed the door behind himself and stalked over towards the bath. However when he put his hand on the edge of the furo Sakura sprang into action.

"Hey! Just what do you think you're doing?" Scrambling desperately to the opposite end she realised too late that her only towel was hanging out of reach and....and Sasuke was between her and it.

He didn't even look at her as he slid into the hot water and Sakura flushed crimson trying to cover herself with her hands and her legs. She tried to gage the distance between her and the towel, and Sasuke and the towel, and her chances of getting to the second without revealing more to his sardonic gaze. He stared at her coldly and she gave up the idea. Sasuke was also between her and the door and Sakura was starting to get really nervous.

/I wonder if screaming would help?/ Sakura thought weakly, trying to remind herself that it was Sasuke, her teammate.

He wouldn't hurt her, he had to have a perfectly good reason for being there, like that, in her private bath. Uh huh, just like he would never really hurt Naruto in a fight. Today disproved that theory.

Now that he was here Sasuke suddenly lost sight of his plan. She was supposed to love him, not that dobe. She was supposed to let him do those things to her, not Naruto. Naruto couldn't have her, she was his, just like always.

Sakura opened her mouth to ask if he minded closing his eyes so she could get out, but the words died in her throat and she looked down at the water instead.

"I thought you might be pleased to see me." Sasuke said nochanlantly.

Sakura didn't know what to say, so she said nothing trying to dissapear behind her hands.

"I thought you might be excited to have me here like this." Sasuke said his anger leaking out into his voice.

He gestured to his mostly naked state, almost blushing because he was unaccustomed to being naked in front of others. He was starting to get angry, okay angier, again. She wasn't supposed to act like that. She wasn't supposed to hide herself in a corner and cower as if he was someone bad, someone she didn't like. Didn't love.

It made him clench his fists under the water.

Sakura flinched as she noticed the muscles in his shoulders tense. Her eyes had picked his shoulders as a safe place to look. It wasn't his face or his eyes, it wasn't.....lower on his body.

/And any moves he tries will be signaled by a move in his shoulders./ Her traitorous Inner Sakura whispered.

/Oh shut up! It's Sasuke! He's...he's my teammate, and... he'd never do anything to hurt me./ Even to her own inner ears her voice sounded squeaky and uncertain.

"Sakura. Come here."

She managed a very small head shake. Sasuke felt his control crack. Dragging it back by his fingernails Sasuke glided over to her crouching in front of her cringing body.

/Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck./ Inner Sakura babbled.

How was he supposed to do this? He was sure she didn't freeze up for Naruto the little slut. She was his, and once he'd shown her that, she wouldn't play her little whore games with the dobe, she'd stay with him. Always.

She couldn't prefer Naruto to him, it wasn't possible. So he touched her, gently on the knee, and bared his teeth when her knee jumped away from him. Placing his hand more firmly on her knee he leaned in closer to her trying to ignore the way her head leaned back until it just couldn't go back any further because of her spine and the wall.

He pushed his lips against her, breathing through his nose a little waiting for her to start enjoying it.

/Oh fuck, oh really really fuck./ Inner Sakura babbled.

When she didn't start the moaning and squirming thing he started to get annoyed. He knew there were other things he could do to make her pant like she had for Naruto, he just wasn't sure.... Fucking bitch. Wait, he could try what Naruto had been doing to her, she liked that. Maybe she just didn't like kissing.

She like being licked though, he knew that. So he drew back, Sakura had her eyes screwed shut and she looked tense. Sasuke tried to push her hands away from her breasts, he tried gently but she clung stubbornly. So he left them there for the moment, if she didn't want to do that yet he would wait, he would make her like it. And she would like it, she would love it, more than she loved it with Naruto. He just had to show her. Taking her by the shoulders he moved to the side where the side of the bath formed a wide shelf and sat her on it. He even put her fucking towel under her butt so she wouldn't get cold.

Sakura's eyes were open now, but her knees were pressed together. From the tenseness of her thighs Sasuke figured he'd need to fight to get them open. He didn't think fighting fit in with his plan. So he tried the breast stroking thing again. And the kissing but not the mouth because that hadn't worked. The neck, which caused Sakura to gasp a little, and the collarbone which made her lean back presenting her chest to him. She had to stop herself from massaging her own breasts.

Sasuke's hands found the underside of her breasts which were not covered by her arms or hands. Stroking them, he found, made Sakura make a little humming sound.
/Better./ Sasuke thought in satisfaction, /but not enough, I want her to moan like she did for the dobe./

Sasuke succeeded in loosening one fiercely clamped hand. Sakura's hand immediately tried to reclaim its place, so he covered the little red nub with his mouth and sucked. The hand gripped him behind the head as Sakura's forehead came down onto the top of his head. Panting.

/Hot damn./ Inner Sakura wailed begging Sakura to stop being such a prissy bitch and open her god damned legs for him.

/But, but Naruto.../ Sakura thought.

Sasuke grazed her nipple with his teeth accidently and was delighted when Sakura moaned and her knees trembled, falling apart ever so slightly. He slipped his hands between her legs and pushed them apart further. Sakura squeaked and tried to crawl backwards pressing her legs together again.

Sasuke grew irritated and yanked her hips forward quickly. Sakura balanced a second but lost her muscle control when Sasuke buried his face in her lap his nose searching through her pubic hair. Her back hit the tiles a little awkardly because the shelf wasn't exactly wide enough to let her lie back. She fought her own desire, keeping her knees together, even when Sasuke found that spot and rubbed his chin, teeth, tongue, and nose right over it.

She almost screamed, but kept her knees together. Sasuke couldn't look at her there it would be too humilating.

Glaring at her offending thighs, Sasuke tried again to pry them apart. Why wasn't she cooperating? She liked this, she wanted this, she'd spread her legs and writhed around on the ground for him. She couldn't like Naruto more than she liked him, because then what would he do? She was Sakura, she loved him, and she was his. Noone else could have her.

"Why won't you let me lick you?" Sasuke asked his voice like broken glass.

He pulled harder at her thighs, suceeding in prying them apart a centimetre or two. Sakura sat up quickly, her hands trying to pry his off her legs He pushed her back down and lifted her hips off the ground. Sakura gritted her teeth, she couldn't scream, not now, what would anyone think if they came in and saw them.

She kept trying to stop him but he was stronger, better skilled, and her heart wasn't completely in it. It was hard not to throw her legs open and push his face into her pussy. How many nights had she passed with a hand between her legs pretending it was him doing exactly what he was begging to do now? How many times had she closed her eyes and imagined that Naruto was Sasuke?

Sasuke ran his thumb up the cleft in her arse over the sensitive opening there and she forgot to think, arching back, throwing her legs open finally. Sasuke's head darted in, but she suceeded in placing a hand over herself effectively stopping his tongue.

"Don't look at me." She pleaded.

"You let him look at you." Sasuke hissed.

Sakura's heart stopped. She'd dreaded him ever finding out about her weakness, about her needs. About the fact that perfect, sweet, good girl Sakura was running around behind his back fucking his best friend and rival. And loving every second of it.

"You let him lick you, touch you, has he fucked you yet?" Sasuke spat, not meeting her eyes.

Sakura felt cold, she shivered from the cold and fear and shame all together, but a touch of anger started to burn in her just beside those chilling emotions.

"So you're gonna let me do the same, because you love me. I'm gonna do everything he's done." Sasuke growled forcing her legs apart and pressing his face against her hand.

Sasuke's hot tongue laved that concealing hand. He was insistant, one of his hands took her's by the wrist and pulled it away. He licked her hard, tasting her for the first time, Sakura whimpered.

"Please don't..." Sakura begged.

Sasuke's eyes jerked up to hers, the anger twisting his features. He was still gorgeous.

"Why? What's the difference? Why is he allowed to look, and lick, and touch and I'm not?" Sasuke asked the anger in his voice at odds with the hurt in his eyes.

"You're supposed to be in love with me!"

Sakura sucked in a shaky breath her anger starting to come out.

"Because when he looks at me it isn't to humilate me!" She hissed back at him trying to jerk herself free.

He let her, his body gone suddenly still.

"So I'm humilating you?" He asked his eyes shadowed by his fringe again. "I didn't think a slut who would let herself be fucked in the middle of a wood where anyone could pass and see her, would know the word."

Before Sakura could reply with a word or a blow, Sasuke was gone. Sakura splashed back down into the tub, half aroused, half satisfied, fully pissed off, and half ashamed. Her heart was beating a hundred miles a minute and she was in big trouble. Everyone was right, if you behaved like a slut, you got treated like one. What was she going to do now?

Outside

Sasuke didn't understand anything anymore. Except that he was angerier than he'd been in a long long long time. In a situation like this there was only one thing to do, beat the shit out of Naruto. Which fit perfectly today because it was Naruto's fault that Sakura had refused him.

It. Was. All. Naruto's. Fault.
Sasuke didn't bother with a door, he just crashed right through the living room window. Standing in the late afternoon light surrounded by a circle of broken glass Sasuke glared at the crouching Naruto.

Having leapt out of the way of the human cannonball, Naruto crouched behind the arm of his couch staring dumbly up at the vision of supremely angry Sasuke. He'd seen that face once before today and a second round wasn't high on his list. His hip still twinged. Not that the bastard would get him to back down, but if he didn't come looking for a fight Naruto wasn't walking over to hand him one.

"You bastard." Sasuke said, his voice harsh.

"No. You're the bastard." Naruto corrected.

Sasuke didn't bother to answer.

Naruto decided after the second time Sasuke had put a hole through his couch, that he was serious. Cracking his neck a little and shaking out his arms Naruto gave Sasuke a grim smile.

"Come on then, I don't know what bug crawled up your arse, but if you want I can beat it out."

"What bug?" Sasuke hissed. "You know very well what bug."

Giving up on speech he launched himself at Naruto. Naruto met him head on of course, the grappling quickly reaching a standoff as Naruto's extra weight and strength cancelled out Sasuke's greater skill. Standing face to face, hands trapped over head in a strength contest, Sasuke wished he'd thought to bring weapons.

"What bug?" Naruto ground out straining his arms to keep Sasuke in place.

"The bug where you're fucking my Sakura behind my back."

Naruto lost his concentration for a moment as the world's biggest OOPS passed through his head. In that instant of loss of control Sasuke threw Naruto into the wall. Crawling to his feet Naruto shook his head.

"Wait, wait." Naruto said holding up his hands.

Sasuke grabbed them and tried throwing him into the opposite wall. Naruto moved, pinning Sasuke's hands against his sides and Sasuke's back against his chest.

"Just where do you get off being pissed about a girl you don't give a shit about?" Naruto asked his eyes bleeding red.

"Since she's mine." Sasuke said his eyes taking on red tinges.

"She's not. She's whoever gets her, and that's me right now." Naruto said smugly.

A thin cry of rage escaped from Sasuke's pressed lips and he threw his head back trying to hit Naruto.

"You had your chance and I watched you screw it up for years." Naruto threw Sasuke bodily to the ground.

"So now I'm moving in and guess what? It's sweet, and it's good and I pity you for not being where I am." Naruto spat beside Sasuke sprawled body.

Sasuke glared up at him wishing he had the ability to explode the idiot's head just from the force of his hate.

"Well I want her back." Sasuke rasped out.

"Well you can't have her."

"She loves me!" Sasuke said the roughness in his voice becoming more apparent.

"Are you sure?" Naruto asked.

A sly look came into Sasuke's eyes.

"No, are you sure?" He asked Naruto.

A look of uncertainty flitted through Naruto's eyes.

"She wouldn't let me touch her if she didn't." Naruto said sure of himself.

"Has she ever told you she loves you?" Sasuke pressed working on a hunch.

"It doesn't matter." Naruto asserted. "Her body tells me so everytime I touch her."

"But she doesn't tell you. Not like she tells me, all the time." Sasuke said smugly.

"But you don't love her." Naruto said slowly, thinking hard. "You don't love her."

Sasuke shut up his cheeks taking on a red colour.

"She's mine." He repeated.

"Mine?" Naruto asked sarcastically. "What are you? Mentally retarded? You don't own people."

A growing understanding appeared on Naruto's face.

"That's your screwed up way of saying you love her. Isn't it."

Naruto bunched his fists.

"Well you're not getting her."
"Not your choice dobe." Sasuke spat, gliding to his feet. "We just have to ask her."

Sasuke felt his assurance slip as he remembered Sakura's reaction in the bath house.

They glared at each other, confidence and doubt fighting it out inside both of them.

"Do you really think she'll choose one of us?" Naruto asked finally.

Sasuke stayed silent.

"I mean, we've been all together for what, years? An' every time she's all 'but what about Sasuke', 'what about the team,'" Naruto snorted at her worries.

"As if you'd get all pissy about it and run off again."

Sasuke stayed silent again. Naruto looked hard at his face, then he pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke.

"You would! You little......" Naruto bunched his fists again. "You'd bloody run off again. She's right!"

"Feh." Sasuke said turning away. "What would be the point of staying?"

"Because we're your fucking team asshole. Don't you get that?" Naruto restrained the desire to crack Sasuke's head open to check for brains.

"No, you and Sakura would be a team, I'd be....." He trailed off.

"Alone." Naruto said.

Naruto scrubbed his face hard.

"We wouldn't do that to you." Naruto said staring at the floor. "We would never leave you out like that."

"You already are." Sasuke reminded him.

"Ah that, you see, it just kinda happened, and she kept meaning to stop, but I'm just so damn good that...."

Sasuke raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

"You forget who teaches me sometimes." Naruto said indicating a whole shelf of signed Icha Icha Paradise books.

"Does Sakura know you read porn?" Sasuke asked trying to keep a straight face.

"I don't read it." Naruto said offended. "I just....flick through for inspiration."

"Besides I'm gonna sell them off to Kakashi-sensei for a mint and buy a really flashy apartment like yours to impress Sakura's folks."

Sasuke hung his head, fighting just wasn't getting him anywhere today.

"Listen you can't just take Sakura like that, she's...." Sasuke said in an unsure voice.

"I know, I know, YOURS." Naruto said a weak smile on his face.

"If she did choose me," Sasuke asked slowly, "what would you do?"

Naruto stopped for a moment. He took a deep breath in.

"I'd be really really happy." He said forcedly. "And I'd beat the shit out of you everyday."

Sasuke smirked. A trace of his old arrogance raising it's head.

"And you'd just sit happily on the sidelines for the rest of your life." Sasuke stated without a trace of belief in his voice.

"Yeah, and I'd score me some other chick to pass the afternoons with." Naruto said a false note in his voice.

"And you wouldn't spend the rest of your life alone, watching the women you love marry another man, love another man, bear his children. You'd be happy with just your afternoon bitches in the wood?"

"They wouldn't be like that." Naruto said hurt. "I...I'd care about them."

"Uh huh."

"And they'd care about me."

"Do you actually think another women would let you touch her? You do remember that now everyone in the village knows what that 'sometimes there tattoo' is." Sasuke asked his voice bare of any sympathy.

Naruto winced at the reminder.

"I'd be alright. I have friends." Naruto tried another smile. "And I'd still have you guys on my team."

"You're pathetic." Sasuke said.

Naruto humpfed and crossed his arms, tears pricking his eyes. Sakura would choose Sasuke, she loved Sasuke, she always had. He was just some afternoon sextoy, the only reason she kept coming back was she was hooked on the sex. Whatever she felt for him was nothing compared to what she felt for the bastard.

"We....we wouldn't leave you out either." Sasuke said finally. "She would never do that."
The boys stared silently at different things for a while.

"So what does this mean? Neither of us gets the girl?" Naruto asked.

"Cause that kinda sucks, sex is good. Sex with Sakura is really good."

"You are so crude." Sasuke complained.

"She does this thing with her tongue when she giving me head and it makes me..."

Sasuke threw a ruined cushion at Naruto's head.

"I was just saying.." Naruto grumped.

Sasuke sighed and went back to staring at nothing. Then slowly as if he wasn't really paying attention he said.

"I don't know, maybe we could share?"

Naruto let out a bark of laughter.

"Share?! Like a, I can have her every second day, or something sharing?"

Sasuke turned firey red.

"Shut up dobe, I'm trying to figure a way out of this mess." He hissed.

Embarrassed again he started to idly trace designs in the dust on Naruto's living room table.

"I suppose sharing, but we'd have to ask Sakura and all...." Naruto seemed both apologetic and embarrassed.

At least he was blushing, and he'd started idly picking up pieces of broken stuff, carefully not looking at Sasuke.

"We could maybe think of it as a team exercise." Naruto said.

"Yeah, one of Kakashi's team building exercises." Sasuke said dryly. "It'd be just like him."

"Sasuke did you just tell a joke?" Naruto asked his eyes round with disbelief.

Sasuke said nothing, prefering to try and hide the large holes in Naruto's couch with the destroyed cushions.

"Uh, I'll buy you a new one." He said finally.

"So do you want her Mondays or Tuesdays? Three days in a row, or every other weekend? And do mission days count 'cause there's no screwing on missions." Naruto looked up at Sasuke quickly.

"That's her rule, not mine." He said hurriedly.

"Do you think Sakura would accept to be shared like that?" Sasuke asked, checking to see if there was anything he could clean up in the room.

"Not in a million years." Naruto sighed.

"So maybe we should just do this as a team."

"........"

Naruto looked quizzically at Sasuke.

"Huh?" He said intelligently.

Sasuke blushed again, silently bemoaning the fact that Sakura was the clever one.

"Do you trust me Naruto?"

"Yeeeah." Naruto said slowly.

"With your life?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes." Naruto replied without hesitation.

"Would you be willing to share Sakura with me?"

This time there was a pause.

"Yes, if it meant I got to keep both of you and the team together. And I still got to have sex with Sakura." Naruto said confidently.

"And I am willing to share Sakura with you. So we could try doing this together." Sasuke said still avoiding Naruto's eyes.

"It'd be better than nothing, Sakura won't touch you again now that I know about you guys. But she wouldn't come to me either because of you. But, I think Sakura might agree to this if we lived together and you know.....were together. Then she wouldn't feel guilty about leaving one of us out." Sasuke reasoned.

Naruto nodded at Sasuke's logic.

"Does this mean we gotta have gay sex?" Naruto asked scratching his head.

"NO!" Sasuke said backing away. "I like breasts, and girly hair, and other...... girly stuff."

"Okay, okay geez. Who knew you were such a homophobe. I thought the snake man would'a got you good. He was always eyeing your arse."

"For the last fucking time, I did not let Orochimaru fuck me, and I did not in anyway fuck or otherwise touch him outside of battle." Sasuke said exasperated.

"If you say so, but you know eventually Sakura's gonna want to see us...uh...getting along, if you know what I mean." Naruto leered suggestively.

"Pervert. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it." Sasuke let out a loud breath and flumped down onto the couch.

It groaned dangerously under him. He stood up again.

"Don't make this any harder than it already is dobe, or I swear I'll kick the shit out of you and take Sakura all for me."

Naruto made a hand sign and sprawled out on the ground.

"You got the least idea of how to present it to her?" Naruto asked basking a little in the last rays of sunlight. "You know, in a way that might get us both laid afterwards instead of laid out?"

"Nope, why do girls have to be so fucking touchy about these things?"

Naruto shrugged.

"We could always chuck her out and just have mad man sex for the rest of our lives." Naruto said waggling his eyebrows at Sasuke.

"I'd kill you if I thought it would stop you." Sasuke said, hiding his head in his hands.

"Well I have no idea of how to get her to agree," Naruto started, getting to his feet and padding over to his shelf of Icha Icha Paradise books.

"But I know just what to do with her afterwards." Naruto held out a book, open to a page showing a threesome at work.

Sasuke looked at the book as if it were a snake about to bite him. Naruto flapped the book at him.

"Go on, you're probably a virgin so you'll need the pointers for your pointer. Otherwise she'll throw you over for me." Naruto said smirking.

"I'm not a virgin!" Sasuke growled grabbing the book, remembering his less than shining performance in the baths.

"Uh huh, suuuuuure." Naruto drawled. "I forgot, you and the snakeman used to get it on."

Sasuke wrapped one hand around Naruto's exposed throat.

"It could've been Kabuto, I might be wrong." Naruto forced out.

Sasuke growled out something uncomplementary and let Naruto go.

"You are such a virgin." Naruto teased from a safer distance. "You wouldn't know what to do if Sakura were here right now all laid out in front of you. I bet you'd blush."

"Shut up dobe, not all of us go around fucking people in the woods alright." Sasuke grumbled reopening the book.

Naruto hummed happily, finally the bastard was behind him in something. Well not behind him, Naruto corrected, Sasuke didn't play like that. Boy would it be fun playing with his head over that. Naruto snickered to himself. The couch groaned again as Sasuke sat back down gingerly on it.

"Uh, Naruto." Sasuke began.

"Yeah virgin?"

Sasuke grimaced. If Naruto ever called him that in front of Sakura or anyone, he'd kill him, Sakura's objections or not.

"Uh, I kinda did something today that might have pissed Sakura off, so when we're planning our big speech we might want to work around that." Sasuke hated the uncertain note in his voice.

"What'd you do that'd get our Sakura mad at her Dark Virgin Prince?"

Sasuke decided to let the comment slide, he might need the leeway in a few seconds.

Naruto lost a lot of furniture that day.