The Scheme

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me in any shape, way, or form. Therefore, I do not own or have any possessory interest in the trademark, concept, or copyright of Naruto.

Author’s Note: Why are most of the Naruto adult fanfiction yaoi? I wanted to throw my two cents in the much smaller het pairings.

Naruto – The Scheme

Haruno Sakura could claim herself as a changed person. No longer was she a naïve aspiring kunoichi whose sole purpose of life was to be the matriarch of the famous Uchiha line. At twelve, her romantic notions garnered negative assessment of her abilities, and not until her romantic target scorned her for power did her inner Sakura mentally berate her of her fantastical notion to finally get her motivated to become a more sensible ninja. While training with the Hokage, the older arrogant woman transferred some of her boasting and assertive nature to her young impressionable apprentice. Sakura now developed a more cynical outlook of the world and a variety of skills to achieve her goals in a more unhanded and less juvenile method. She was a ninja, and as a ninja, she would reclaim her original objective come hell to high water.

While walking towards the hospital, she mentally strategized her scheme. It would become difficult because even after Sasuke did return to the village, albeit unwilling, he was unable to see that they were destined to be together. At eighteen years old, Sakura recognized that Sasuke would not be persuaded by her steadfast loyalty. She realized that his tragic past made him emotionally stunted and ambivalent to the notions of love. Fed up with her inability to break down his steel barriers with affections, she decided to take on a more forceful approach. She did not only learn demolish with her fists alone, she also learned to utilize what was in her oversized forehead.

With a mischievous grin, she skipped towards the hospital to get her plan underway. She stopped at her first victim – ahem, patient. Her current teammate Sai was rested in a hospital bed after receiving injuries from a previous mission with Naruto. Tsunade refused to reassert Sasuke into their team because of his status as a ninja on probation even after the much vocal protests of the other members. Reluctantly Naruto and Sai continued to be partners, and the continuous squabbling between the two caused both to end up in the hospital.

“What are you up to?” asked Sai.

Sakura only smiled sweetly at him while examining his chart. “Why do you ask?”

The dark haired man who looked very much like Sasuke looked at her wearily even though a smile graced his lips.

“Because you are giving me one of those fake smiles. Isn’t a patient suppose to get healed from a cute nurse and not be punched by an ugly medic nin?”

Sakura fought to keep her smile in place. Inside, her inner Sakura was hollering to connect her fists with his over-inflated head and his foul mouth. Even though her eyebrows were ticking, she managed to keep her composure. She had to think of her plan. She giggled lightly.

“Sai, you still have such a stupid sense of humor.” She patted his head like she would with a child. “You should trust your teammate. I did save your life on many occasions.”

“Haruno, I –“ Without wanting to hear the rest of his insulting remarks, Sakura shoved a thermometer in his mouth.

“What did I say about calling me ugly?” she instigated with a more forceful tone.

“mmm….rrhhr…” he replied with a medical device still in his mouth.

“That’s right. Not only will I lengthen your stay in the hospital but I would make castration as the reason for the stay.”

Sai settled down, but continued to gaze at her with scrutiny. Sakura knew that even after years of being teammates, he still had yet to befriend or trust her.

“I’ll be back this afternoon to see if you can get discharged. Your condition is stable but there can be a relapse. Whatever provoked you to have Naruto use the Rasengen against you?” Again, Sakura raised her hand to prevent his attempt to respond. “On second thought, I don’t want to know. I don’t know why you have an obsession with insulting his penis.”

Before she could go about her usual lecture to Sai about his inability to get along with Naruto, she heard a loud “SAKURA-CHAN!!!!!” yell from down the hall. With a sigh of exasperation, she went to quell the baka from causing another raucous. Did that idiot know that a hospital is a place for quiet and recovery?

Later in the afternoon, she returned to her teammate’s bedside.

“You should be okay. Are you hurt anywhere?”

He glanced her before trying to get out of bed. “I’m a bit sore……. Are you going to manhandle me?”

“Hey, I’m not that violent.”

He smirked before masking himself with another false smile. “And Choji is not a fat ass, and Ino is not a screaming banshee.”

Sakura desired nothing more than break her teammate in half. Even though he possessed a face of an angel and a body of a god, his mouth spewed so much insult and waste that she easily overlooked his handsomeness.

“You are lucky I’m in a good mood or else you would be put back in the hospital courtesy of my fist.”

He slowly walked behind panels to dress himself. “Why the restraint? Your usual ugly demeanor should incline you with the disposition to violently keep men from running away from you.”

In her anger, Sakura broke the hospital chart in half. Still, she had to think of her plan, so she quickly disposed of it. When he finished dressing, Sai came from behind the panels to find her smiling sweetly again. He noted the broken pieces of wood around her feet and the fire burning behind her luminous eyes. He cautiously went near the bed to pick up his weapons.

“Sai,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Yes?” he asked with a tone of amusement.

“For that remark, you are going to buy me dinner since my rounds are finished for today.”

“Oh? And why should I do that? Maybe I don’t want to be seen with such an ugly girl with a gigantic forehead.”

Sakura knew he loved to push everyone’s buttons. He was a master of that. Furthermore, Sakura was prepared.

“I’ll give you four reasons why you are going to buy me dinner.”

“And that is?”

“One, I’m in the mood for ramen which I know is your favorite food. Two, the best ramen stand is Ichiraku, and most likely Naruto will be there. I’m the only one who can keep Naruto from pummeling your ass and allow you to have your ramen in peace. Third, don’t you ever wonder why all the nurses and all of women in Konaha look at you strangely? I have the answer. Fourth, although you may deny it, I know that you want some company for once in your life who is not your commander or someone you can easily insult with that waste disposal you call your mouth.”

Sakura saw him ruminate over her words for a few seconds. With a sigh, he looked at her. “Fine, let’s go.”

“Thanks Sai-kun!” she said sweetly. Her smile widened when she saw that his fake smile lapse for a bit into a grimace.

“Don’t call me that ugly face.”

“Whatever Sai-kun. Now let’s go!”
At the ramen stand, they sat next to each other while ordering their meals.

“I want to know why women look at me strangely as you say.”

“Mmmhmm? Maybe I’ll just keep you guessing, Sai-kun,” she teased. Sakura had to admit it to herself, but she found Sai’s company to have its benefits. She could offend him without thinking of the consequences. With him, she no longer had to be the nice Sakura everyone knew her to be. Naruto did not provide her with the mental capacities that could be had when exchanging rude diatribes.

“Stop calling me that,” he said as he finally let go of his smiling façade.

“Maybe Sai-chan would be better since you act like a bad tempered ten year old boy who finally realized that his penis actually belongs to a five year old. With your phallic fixation, maybe you are actually trying to compensate for something when mocking Naruto so much.”

Sai looked at her incredulously before one of the ends of his lips lifted up. “Well I see why you have become the apprentice of Tsunade-sama since your tiny excuses you call breasts look more like mosquito stings.”

Sakura laughed at his remark. She may have found it offensive if it had been said in another context, but now at the ramen stand, she took it in good humor. “Why Sai-chan, my stings are nothing compared to why all the women in Konoha believe that your fondness of penis reflects your preference to it than breasts.”

“What do you mean by that?” demanded Sai whose eyebrows furrowed in discontent.

Giggling, she waved her hand in the air as if what she was saying was a well established belief. “Oh nothing but it seems as if your boyfriend’s, Lee-kun, obsession over me is just a cover up for his true inclination to be on top of you.”

When Sai’s face blanched, Sakura laughed even more riotously that the other customers stared at the usually sedate kunoichi in wonder.

Sai faced her in disbelief. “Do you mean that everyone thinks that I’m….I’m….. gay?”

“If the shoe fits. Or in order words, if the penis fits!” she laughed and laughed so hard she had to hold on to her stomach. She continued to chuckle at Sai’s shocked expression but was caught off when she heard, “SAKURA-CHAN!” being bellowed from behind.

When she turned her head, she found a grinning Naruto with a surly Sasuke in tow. Great! The plan was executing itself to perfection.

“Sakura-chan, I thought I heard you laughing. What’s so funny?!” Naruto badgered her until he saw Sai next to her. At once, Naruto’s grinning face turned sour. “What’s that bastard doing here?”

“Whatever happened to hello,” said Sakura in a piqued tone. When she saw Sasuke peer at Sai with a scrutinizing glare, she redirected his attention with an enthusiastic, “Hi Sasuke-kun!”

“ah,” he replied succinctly before he sat on a stool next to Naruto who would not stop glowering at Sai.

While Naruto and Sasuke were ordering, Sakura nudged closer to Sai. She placed her hand on his thigh and used her monstrous strength to keep him in place. She whispered. “I can help you undo the gay reputation.” When he ceased resisting against her hand, he looked at her pensively. With a mischievous grin, she added, “And it would irk Naruto and Sasuke to no end.”

Sai nodded relaying his assent to her proposition. He turned to finish his meal while ignoring the glare directed at him from the blond boy who finished ordering.

“So what are you guys doing here?” asked Sakura pleasantly.

Naruto finally ceased his silent staring war with Sai to answer earnestly. “I was hungry while training with Sasuke-teme. What about you?”

“Oh I finished my round, and Sai-kun is buying me dinner,” answered Sakura flippantly.

At the mention of “buying dinner” and “Sai-kun” both Naruto and Sasuke gasped. This was the first time they have heard Sai buying anything for a girl even if they were teammates, and secondly, it was the first time Sakura added the term of endearment “kun” to anyone’s but Sasuke. This time, both the men radiated with malcontent at the dark haired man who effectively ignored the killing intents emanating toward him.

Naruto’s eyes widened and in a horrified stutter he asked, “Are…are you guys out on a d..d… date?” Sasuke also appeared to be attentive to this question to Sakura’s delight.

Sakura allowed her inner Sakura whoop for joy while her composed exterior managed to remain unaffected. “Duh Naruto. What does it look like? Of course it’s a date. He is buying me dinner when he doesn’t have to.”

Sakura still had her hand on Sai’s thigh which she squeezed so hard she knew it would be painful. It was a reminder to him to play along or face the consequences.

“But… But.. SAKURA-CHAN! You can’t go out on a date with him!!!” yelled Naruto frantically. It was as if the world ended for him. Sakura noted that Sasuke did not appear happy either, but not as traumatized as Naruto which was expected. Nonetheless, Sakura was gleeful that Sasuke was nominally affected by this situation.

Under the table, Sai patted his hand on Sakura’s grip which she let loose. With the smile back on his face, he turned to the blond and the dark haired traitor. He allowed his arm to casually drape around Sakura’s shoulder. “I am on a date with Sakura-CHAN, dickless wonder. You and that traitor should mind your own business. We don’t want to interrupt your date, so you shouldn’t interrupt ours.”

Sakura blushed when she felt Sai’s arm make contact but was immediately gone when his potty mouth made reference to Naruto and Sasuke as a couple. She was about to covertly punish him until she saw Naruto and Sasuke choke at the same time at Sai’s words. When Sakura glanced at Sai, it appeared underneath the mask, his usually bland eyes glittered. In reality, she found the insult to be comical even at Sasuke’s defense. She watched their heads swivel to see if anyone else heard the comment, looked at each other, and then looked away with the most horrified expressions on their faces. After the embarrassment passed, Naruto and Sasuke appeared enraged.

Immediately, Sakura took her role as mediator. “Now now boys. Don’t make any more trouble,” she warned while crackling her knuckles. She bonked her fist against Naruto’s head for good measure. “Well we’re done, aren’t we Sai-kun?”

“Sure,” he replied good naturedly. He rose from his seat and offered Sakura a hand which she took with delight. Internally she rubbed her hands with joy. She had found a fellow conspirator.

She said good byes to them pleasantly, covertly taking much pleasure at Naruto grumbling over his ramen and Sasuke’s foreboding and stern composure that spoke of repressed anger.

While walking to her house with Sai next to her, she felt him inch closer and closer.

“You know that they are following us,” he whispered.

“Of course, I’m not a moron. Naruto’s stealth skills are pitiful at best.”

“I don’t know why I should let you use me like this. Although I had to admit that it was enjoyable, but I don’t want to be attached to someone as ugly as you.”

“Shut it. We can fake going out for just a bit.”

“What am I getting out of this?” Sai spoke with a lowered voice.

With a sigh, she turned her face up to him as if she was giving him a come hither dreamy stare. In reality, her green eyes were hardened as ice. “Do I have to give you the reasons categorically again.”

“Maybe,” he said as his arm wrapped around her small waist so they can keep their conversations private. He could feel the two inch closer to them.

“One, I know that you hate Naruto and Sasuke. You know how protective Naruto is over me, and seeing me with ‘the bastard’ as he has permanently labeled you as, it would annoy him a lot. Just imagine getting the best of him just by standing next to me, and since we are teammates, it would be constant. I on the other hand will not be able to defend Naruto as much so it won’t be two against one anymore. Second, you think Sasuke is the traitor of the village. Although you may not see it, but I think he has some affection for me. I use to follow him like a puppy dog, but if I go out with you, not only will he think I’m over him, but I’m over him with his replacement who happens not only to look like him but who also has a higher level of ninja skill than him,” said Sakura. She knew that what said about Sasuke was a slightly modified version of the truth at best, but she banked on him not realizing it. Moreover, it did not hurt to win Sai over by stroking his ego a bit.

“Why would you be doing this to Naruto and Sasuke? I thought you were their friend?”

Although, her reasons were her own even if it had to hurt Naruto a bit – which she did truly regret, she would not expose it to Sai who would refuse his part in the conspiracy. “Easily. To get even.”

“Even for what?”

“Against Naruto because he is too protective over me. He thinks of himself in love with me. Against Sasuke because he broke my heart, and he should feel some of it too.” Again, both were lies, but to an objective person it would not appear to be.

Sai pondered over Sakura’s words for a minute, but Sakura had it all well planned out. Sai had been their teammate for the past few years. However, he did not know the true dynamics of the group.

“Are you still thinking over it?”

“Hmm? Yes.” His smile did not conceal the dark eyes that still glittered.

“And?”

He shrugged. “Might as well. I think it will be fun.”

Sakura smirked. “I thought you didn’t have any emotions. Doesn’t fun count as an emotion?”

“You know that I’m starting to find them after the destruction of the Roots.”

“Well I think fun is a good emotion to start out with.”

Both looked at each other against the moonlight and smiled their fake smiles at each other. One thing they had in common was their ability to smile through anything. It was with which something to start out.

They arrived at Sakura’s apartment doorstep without incidence. While they can hear Naruto complaining in the distance and feel Sasuke’s sharigan eyes examining them closely, the two men kept their distance.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then Sai-kun?” Sakura spoke out loud for the two spies to listen.

“If the dickless wonder and the traitor don’t ambush me tomorrow while I’m training which I’m sure they will, I’ll come by the hokage tower,” he replied. He bent down and placed a kiss on her cheek and left immediately in a swirl of tattered papers.

Sakura blushed. Although, she may not like Sai because his personality was akin to sewage, she could not help but be filled with some sort of warmth. Even though she may be eighteen, it had been her first kiss. It didn’t hurt that he was handsome either. With a sigh, she entered her apartment locking the door behind her. She had further plans for tomorrow since her new target for tomorrow would be the pervert Jiraiya-sama.

A/N: Spur of the moment writing. Also, I don’t know Sai’s personality too well. He just appeared in manga. I’m trying to give him some substance from his initial appearance in the manga. Tell me what you think.