Frozen Pain

Ok, this is my first Naruto fic, so please be kind…. I wrote it for my beloved Sister in arms, Liah-chan. I hope that you’ll all enjoy it though. It’s an angsty Kakashi/Itachi, so if you don’t like angst or Yaoi, you would do right by pushing the “back” button now…

If you’re still reading I’m just going to say that I do NOT own Naruto and that this has been beta-read by Liah. THANK YOU Sis!

R&R, please?

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Kakashi sighed lazily and stretched. He was simply enjoying the feeling of the sun heated rocks below him and gazed at the clouds that were passing over him. This was his first vacation in years, and he felt as if really deserved it. He smiled at the memories of all that had happened over the last six months, Sasuke returning, Naruto killing Orochimaru and now finally they had put a final stop to Akatsuki. The forbidden order had been thwarted and chased on the run. The only thing that had annoyed his old team was that Itachi had managed to run. But Sasuke had declared that he really didn’t care anymore, if he happened to come across his older brother, he would kill him. But he wouldn’t case after him anymore.


So, finally, after years of trying to assemble his broken team, Kakashi could feel at peace. He watched the way the waves beat against the rocks beneath him for awhile before glancing towards the sky again. Far above him there was another person standing, seemingly unaware of Kakashi’s presence. Suddenly every alarm in Kakashi went off; he knew that black hair, that dark chakra.

“Itachi…” He murmured and in a flash he was at the others side. To his surprise the oldest of the Uchiha brothers didn’t even move an inch. He just kept staring over the ocean; seemingly he was still unaware of Kakashi. But that proved to be wrong as he turned his head to Kakashi and in a heart stopping second Kakashi was sure that he was about to get plunged into Itachi’s world of pain. But the eyes that looked at him held neither Sharingan, nor any colour but white. Suddenly Kakashi realised that Itachi was now fully blind.

“Itachi….”

“Don’t Kakashi, you’ve been a worthy opponent, and a much worthier carrier of the Sharingan that I’ve ever been. Just do a dying man a favour, no matter what you might think of me, please tell Sasuke that I love him, always have done…”

Before Kakashi had the chance to say anything Itachi had let him self fall over the edge, plunging towards the rocks and the water below, not even trying to reduce the fall in anyway.

Kakashi had no idea of why he did it, but his body seemed to move on its own as he threw himself after Itachi. He saw the black haired youth hit the rocks once before he disappeared into the dark, cold waters. Kakashi dived after him and after a desperate search he saw the sinking body and was able to pull him back up to the surface. He quickly managed to remove the water from Itachi’s lungs and took a deep breath in relief as the boy started to breathe on his own. He removed the wet shirt and found a large scratch and bruising along Itachi’s left side of his ribcage. Kakashi frowned as he realised that several of the ribs was broken. He knew that there wasn’t enough sunlight left for them to make it to the nearest village, and besides, he wanted to get Itachi healed, not killed.

There was something about the way Itachi had talked that had sent chills down Kakashi’s spine, and he was dead set on finding out what it was. He picked up the younger man and carried him to the cage were he had set up his camp and laid him down on the sandy floor and started the fire before stripping Itachi from his wet clothes and placed the unconscious youth in his own sleeping bag.

He couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty of the younger man. The glow from the fire made the ebony skin shimmer and the contrast between the pale face and the raven black hair was clearer than ever. As if his hand moved on its own, he reached out and stroked the wet hair from the pale face. To his surprise the unconscious youth leaned into the touch and the pained frown on his face lessened somewhat.

Kakashi gulped, not at the new look, or the fact that he was feeling the others skin against his own. But at the intense self-hatred that was pouring from the black haired youth. It felt as if it was about to drag Kakashi down with it and he had to remove his hand to try to regain his breath. He wondered where this was coming from. There had always been a huge sadness over the oldest Uchiha, but he had never expected something like this. Why? That was the question that plagued Kakashi’s mind as he sat with the hurt youth through the night.

It was in the early hours of morning, long before the sun rose that Itachi finally woke up. He tried to figure out why he felt so warm and comfortable. There was softness under his head and around him. His eyes opened and for a second he hoped that he would be able to see again. But there was still pitch black around him. He sighed and tried to sit up. He realised that, except his boxers he was naked and panicked for a second. Who? The last thing he remembered was talking to Kakashi before he jumped of the cliff, and he highly doubted that the copy-ninja would even lift a finger to save him. But as he heard someone move he also felt that strong chakra that only could belong to Kakashi.

“Kakashi?” His voice was raspy and strained; it was also filled with fear.

“Yes Itachi?” Kakashi’s voice held no hatred, just a mild reassurance that Itachi had never expected to hear form the older man.

“Why? Why didn’t you just let me die?”

“I’m not sure Itachi, for what you have done, you deserve to die. But I want to know why you said that you love Sasuke; I want to know why you hate yourself so much. Before I have those answers I won’t let you die.”

“Are you sure that you want the truth, what your beloved village turned their eyes from just so that they could keep their strong clan?” Kakashi had expected a lot of things, but the pure hurt and rage that was coming from Itachi wasn’t one of them. “You sure you could handle the truth about the Uchiha clan?”

“Why don’t you tell me and we’ll see if I can handle it.”

“Will you let me die after?”

“I can’t promise you that, but I will NOT let you die before you do tell me.”

“Fine. I have nothing to lose anyway, but I ask you not to tell Sasuke this… You know, why don’t I show you? I can’t see and I can’t use the Sharingan anymore, but I can show you what is in my head. Do you trust me enough to do that, to take a walk inside my head? It won’t like the last time, you can leave when ever you want.”

Kakashi stayed silent for a while, thinking it over.

“Fine, I’ll take the risk. You don’t seem that strong right now anyway…”

Itachi sat up and reached out his hand blindly towards the direction he heard Kakashi in; as Kakashi took it he turned his unseeing eyes toward the copy-ninja. “Don’t say that I didn’t warn you…”

Kakashi was swirled into a blurry world, the sort that you see in your dreams and soon realised that he was seeing Itachi’s memories form his eyes. The body he was in was the one of a nine year old Itachi that was walking through the long halls of the Uchiha mansion, trying to find the source of the weird sound that had woken the young ninja up. He soon realised that the sounds were coming from his four year old brother’s room and he quickened his steps, what if something had happened to his cute little brother?!?

The sight that met the young Itachi, and through him, Kakashi was too gruesome to really comprehend. Sasuke was on the bed, knocked out by the Sharingan, laying there like a life less puppet as their father raped him.

Kakashi jerked his hand from Itachi and the memory world disappeared. He was sweating and he was shaking. “It can’t be true…”

“Oh, but it is. That was the first time I saw it, there are so many other times in my head that we could stay here for a week if you should see them all. I tried to protect him in the few pointless ways I could think of. Allowing him to sleep in my bed, sleeping in his, claiming that he had asked me too. But it was pointless. Then, the summer before he started at the academy, I came to know that they all knew… The hole fucking clan KNEW what was done to Sasuke, and they LAUGHED about it! Saying that he would never make a good ninja, but he would make a good wife! I hated them! And I hated myself, all I had to do was to go the Hokage, all I had to do was to tell someone. But I was a coward, I didn’t want to “soil” the Uchiha name, and I didn’t want Sasuke to know. The night after he had started at the academy I came back from a mission. And that night it wasn’t just Father, there was four other clan members. And that night, as I tried to clean him up after what they had done, I swore that I would kill them all.”

Kakashi stared at Itachi, so this was why… There had been so many speculations and rumours after the murders… “That was why you let him see you there… You wanted him to kill you too, because you had known too… You wanted him to hate you the way you hated yourself…”

“Yes, and I also knew that the only way that Sasuke would be able to keep going and work to become a stronger ninja was if he had a goal.” Itachi chuckled darkly. “If they could have seen him now, my father and all the other idiots, they would see that he is indeed a strong ninja. It was unfortunate that he walked down the path of Orochimaru, had I known that Orochimaru wanted him; I would have killed that Snake. But I was too late. Now, Kakashi-san, now you know, will you please let me die now?”

Kakashi shook his head and then realised that the other couldn’t see it. He sighed and moved so that he was seated against the rock wall behind Itachi and pulled the youth into his arms. Itachi stiffened at first, but then slumped against Kakashi’s chest, tears falling from his eyes, the first ones in years.

“I’m sorry Itachi, but no. I can’t let you die…”

“Why not Kakashi? I’ve done what I swore that I would do, I killed them and even though you might not approve of my ways, I made Sasuke a stronger ninja. Now I’m just a blind cripple that is stuck with my memories. Or are you really that cruel? That you would torture me with the fact of being stuck with the memories?”

Kakashi glanced down at the broken soul in his arms and wondered why no one had been able to see all of this before it had to turn this bad.

“That is not the reason I won’t let you die. What you did was wrong, but it was still justified… I think I would have done the same if I were you… Itachi, if you really love Sasuke you will tell him this. You’re the only family he had left; doesn’t he deserve to have a family? Someone that cares for him?”

“He already has that. He has you, Naruto and that pink haired girl. You’re a better family then his blood one ever was. I don’t want him to know Kakashi, it is better that he hates just me than everyone…”

“No, it isn’t. That’s a false hate Itachi.”

Itachi turned in Kakashi’s arms, confusion and some anger written on his face. “It isn’t Kakashi. I knew, I could have done something, but I didn’t. And why does it matter to you? I’ve put you through hell, so why do you want Sasuke to forgive me? Why can’t you just let me die!?!”

Itachi was desperate, and his voice showed it and he broke down sobbing.

Kakashi leaned in and placed a small kiss on Itachi’s lips, shocking them both with this sudden show of affection. He pulled back and looked at the other, fearing that Itachi might panic. But Itachi just stopped sobbing, confusion written all over him. He reached up and gently traced the outlines of Kakashi’s mask.

“Why did you do that Kakashi?”

“I don’t know really… I… I just… Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you or take advantage of you…”

“Do it again…” Itachi breathed, not knowing why, just knowing that he had enjoyed it.

Kakashi’s eyes widened before smiling. He pulled down his mask and kissed Itachi properly this time. His eyes fluttered closed as Itachi’s lips parted and let his tongue in to explore. They both moaned as their tongues met and twisted around each other. They broke apart, panting heavily for air. Itachi reached up to touch Kakashi’s face again and smiled slightly.

“I finally get you to remove that mask and I can’t see it…” He sighed and traced Kakashi’s lips with his fingers and unconsciously licked his lips. “Have you done it before? Had sex with a man I mean?”

Kakashi’s eyes widened. “Yes… But Itachi, I’m not saying that we should have sex… I… I don’t even know you that well yet, and as I said before, I don’t want to take advantage of you…”

“Yet?”

“What?”

“You said that you don’t know me that well YET… Does that mean that you would WANT to know me…? Or is it just and excuse to not having sex with me…?”

Kakashi stared at the other, Itachi sounded… He sounded so… young… that was the only word he could come up with. So inexperienced…

“Itachi… Yes, it means that I would like to get to know you… The real you, not this evil facade you’ve been showing us all the time… But… Itachi, have you ever had sex with a man before?”

“No… Not with anyone… Please show me Kakashi… Just kissing you…”

Itachi didn’t finish his sentence; instead he grabbed Kakashi’s hand and placed it on his already hard cock. Kakashi felt his own member strain against his pants as he grew hard from the younger mans actions.

He kissed Itachi again and somehow managed to open the sleeping bag and threw it open, revealing the pale body. He moved away from Itachi, receiving a small whimper in protest as Itachi fell back against the fabric on the floor.

“What are you doing Kakashi?”

“Ssh…”

Itachi fell silent and waited patiently, straining his ears to try to understand what the other one was doing…

Kakashi quickly removed his own clothes, laid down beside Itachi and removed Itachi’s boxers.

“Tell me how you want it…” He whispered in Itachi’s ear, making the other shiver. “Tell me how you want this and I’ll do it… But I won’t do a thing if you don’t tell me…” His hand ghosted over Itachi’s cock, making the younger raise his hips towards it.

“Kakashi…”

“Tell me Itachi.”

“I want… I want you inside of me…”

This came as a pleasant surprise for Kakashi, he had been sure that Itachi would want the top position.

Kakashi started to kiss the exposed chest, sucking on Itachi’s nipples. “And more…?” He teased as he moved between the two now hard nubs. To his surprise he felt Itachi’s hand in his hair, pulling him up to the kiss bruised lips. The kiss was more loving, and more trusting than anyone Kakashi had ever experienced before. As they broke apart it was Kakashi that was puzzled.

“Use me Kakashi…”

“What?!?”

“Use me… I want to give up control for once… I would say rape me, but since I want it it’s not rape, but I think you get the idea… Punish me for all I put you and your important people through...”

Kakashi had to try to regain his breath; this was almost too much even for him… It was as if one of his naughtiest dreams had come true…

“Are you sure Itachi? Is that really the way you want your first time to be?”

“I am.”

Short and to the point, no more words needed to be said. But Kakashi still had to get his thoughts toghter. Then an almost grim smile appeared on his lips and he roughly turned Itachi to his stomach.

“If it gets too much tell me to stop…” He whispered before he slapped down hard over Itachi’s butt, leaving a red mark. He paused for a second, giving Itachi time to change his mind if he wanted to. But Itachi moaned and turned his head towards Kakashi. “Tie me up…”

Kakashi reached out and got his belt and roughly tied Itachi’s hands toghter. He then moved Itachi so that he lay over his lap, their erections rubbing toghter. Then he went back to spanking the pale ass. Every time his hand connected with the reddening skin Itachi jerked slightly, grinding their cock’s even closer toghter. Kakashi moved one of his hands to Itachi’s mouth and held three fingers to his lips.

“Suck!” He commanded the moaning youth. He couldn’t believe that Itachi really was enjoying this this much! He felt drops of precum trickling from Itachi’s cock, making both their erections slick.

Itachi eagerly sucked the fingers into his mouth, twirling his tongue around them as he coated them with saliva. Kakashi moaned loudly, he wanted that mouth around his cock instead! He swiftly removed his fingers from Itachi’s mouth, chuckling slightly at the whimpering sound Itachi made.

“Don’t worry; I’ll give you something else to suck on…”

He moved them so that they were lying on their sides, facing each others groins. Kakashi used his dry hand to guide his cock to Itachi’s lips. Itachi eagerly reached out his tongue and moaned as the taste of Kakashi filled his mouth. He sucked Kakashi’s member into his moth and smiled around it as Kakashi moaned loudly.

Kakashi started to finger-fuck Itachi, stretching him roughly. He wouldn’t last long in that hot, wonderful mouth, he knew that…

Kakashi pulled out of Itachi’s mouth and pushed the youth back onto his stomach. He climbed between Itachi’s legs and spread them far apart, moaning at the sight of the red marked ass that eagerly pushed up towards him. He gripped onto Itachi’s hips and forcefully slammed into the other man, making him scream out loud. But the scream was one of pleasure rather then of pain. Kakashi gripped on to Itachi’s shoulders and started to thrust inside at high speed. Itachi turned his head slightly so that Kakashi could see that beautiful face, and suddenly Kakashi froze. Something inside of him told him that this was not one of his many one night stands; this was someone that he wanted to keep, to teach how to love again.

His thrusts changed to slow and soft and he started to kiss Itachi’s neck.

“You’re beautiful Itachi, do you know that?”

Itachi’s eyes were wide in confusion. “Why do you say things like that?”

“Because it’s true. I’m sorry, but I won’t let you die, not today, not ever… I won’t lose you now that I’ve found you.”

Kakashi reached up and untied Itachi’s hands and then moved one hand to Itachi’s needing cock and brought them to a unanimous climax.

As Kakashi wrapped his arms around Itachi and draped the sleeping bag over them both Itachi started to cry. Kakashi held him tighter and sighed.

“Maybe you’re right Itachi; maybe blood family is over rated. But it doesn’t change the fact that you have been even lonelier then Sasuke. But I won’t let you be alone in your darkness anymore.

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//Maybe the village would never understand why Kakashi loved Itachi, or why Sasuke forgave him. But Team Kakashi would never let anyone hurt Itachi.//