Hell In Your Eyes

AN: I wrote this awhile ago, while aff.net was down and out. Posted it on y!gallery, incase anyone there thinks this is a new story. ^^;


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the song that was written... by someone on the Queen of the Damned soundtrack. (Really, the best part of the movie was the soundtrack.)




Walking, waiting, alone without a care.
Hoping and hating the things that I cannot bare.


Sasuke prowled the street, hands in his pocket. He was restless, unable to sleep for several nights now. Ever since he had come back, albeit unwillingly at first, he had not felt... connected. This life that he had forsaken was one that he did not know how to return to. The people around him were patient, offering him reassuring smiles or pats on the back. He would flinch away from the contact; touches ceased to be comforting. Sasuke felt empty, his objective once more ripped away from him.

The moonlight dipped in and out of clouds lazily, lighting the street one moment, then submerging it into darkness the other. With a sigh, Sasuke glanced to the rooftops. He was not walking just to settle his nerves. He hoped it was a signal to the one he had not seen in a long time. One that he should not want to see, but could not help it. If he was watching, Sasuke hoped that the man would eventually join him at his side, or make an appearance in his room when he got home.

The only way to feel, to be apart of the world once more, was the one thing that he should have loathed. It did not happen on purpose, neither saw it coming. The moment struck them, and they lost themselves in it. At least, Sasuke hoped it was that way with him as well.


Did you think its cool to walk right up,
To take my life and fuck it up?
Well did you?
...Well did you?




Sasuke clenched his fists in his pockets, hunching his shoulders over. Why did it have to happen like that? A small sliver of hope had appeared in the way of Naruto, the one that could have brought him out of his funk. That chance was extinguished the moment his mind became distracted by the other. He knew, if he had to explain to Naruto, if he were ever caught... Naruto would be the only one to understand. At least a little. Orochimaru spoke of Naruto’s devotion to him, at how hard he fought to get him back, before the blonde came to his very doorstop to drag him back. What Naruto was willing to do for him, the single mindedness that he felt when his name was mentioned... that was what Sasuke felt.

A month earlier, Sasuke was training alone at night, his insomnia getting the best of him. It was lulling him to sleep, exhausted body finally stilling the mind that would not quiet. That was why he did not hear the other man approach, he supposed. Sasuke put his hands on his knees, panting, a light shiver running down his spine as the chilled wind of the night caressed his sweat covered back.

“I thought you had gotten better... but if you let me get this close, I must have been wrong.”

Sasuke wheeled around, taking the slightly blunted kunai out of the tree stump. Itachi silently watched him, harms hanging at his side. He willed himself to relax his stance, smirk tugging at his lips. “You’re not a threat, why would it matter if I let you approach me from the back.”

Much to his disappointment, his brother’s eyes didn’t flash at the insult, but remained diffident. “If that were true, then you wouldn’t have jumped when I spoke.”

“What do you want?” Sasuke quickly changed the subject, annoyed that Itachi pointed it out.


I see hell in your eyes,
Taken in by surprise.


Their battle would have been a blur to anyone watching. Sasuke repelled each attack, but was also thwarted as Itachi did the same to his blows. Not quite... Sasuke was strong, and the realization made his head soar, but he was only equal with his brother. Just a little more, a little more training and he would finally be stronger than Itachi.

They watched each other warily while trying to catch their breath, blood colored eyes narrowed. Itachi had ditched his cloak, bare arms reflecting the dim moonlight. Knowing there might be a chance if he recovered first, Sasuke dove at the other man, slightly surprised when his body came in contact with Itachi. Was his brother losing his touch?
Sasuke pinned the other’s hands above his head, nails digging into his wrist. He was still panting face close enough to Itachi’s to mingle their breathes. Itachi lifted his chin defiantly, glaring at Sasuke. One move, and Sasuke’s advantage would be over. The older Uchiha’s mangekyou was stronger.

Itachi shifted a little under him, testing Sasuke’s grip on his hands, thighs pinned to the ground by strong legs. What happened next Sasuke still could not come up with an excuse. It could have been the power he had over his brother at the moment, or the danger of being so close to something that could humble him so rapidly. He dipped his head, if only to whisper something as cruel as Itachi had to him that many years ago, and their lips accidently met when Itachi turned. Neither moved nor protested, Sasuke unsure why he was not screaming at his body to move away. Itachi shut his eyes and Sasuke tensed, ready for what he thought was inevitable.


Touching you makes me feel alive.


Instead of reopening his eyes, Sasuke felt Itachi’s lips move, pressing more firmly against his own. Sasuke kept his eyes open, not trusting his brother for a moment... but responded all the same. The two kissed, tenseness slowly evaporating. Neither trusted what the other might do, but their bodies response to the stimulus was over riding all sense. Itachi’s hips twitched, electricity from where their bodies met spread, making Sasuke gasp. The other took advantage of that, deepening the kiss. Sasuke had to fight to keep his eyes open, settling on leaving them open a crack. His brother’s hips moved again, and both moaned, kiss growing into a fight for dominance.


Touching you makes me die inside.


Sasuke shuddered at the memory, breath quickening a little. What they did that night was... it was horrible. It was wrong, and Sasuke was supposed to hate it with all his might... instead of wanting more. He tried to put it behind him after it happened, making excuses as to why it felt so damn good.

They ended up clothesless through some blur of ripping, shoving, and gasping actions. Sasuke, wanting to make sure Itachi would not make any seals while they were... doing what they were going to do of course, re-pinned his brother’s wrists above his head. The defiant look Itachi still kept, the proudness there... Sasuke wanted to ruin it. He drove into Itachi relentlessly, both reduced to a moaning mass of sweat and dirt smudged skin. At one point Sasuke lost the point of keeping Itachi’s arms pinned above him. Instead of pushing Sasuke away, punching or forming the seals for some deadly jutsu, he clung to his brother. The hair he kept so neatly tied back was matted and partially pulled from the tie, bangs sticking to his face. Sasuke just thrust harder at that sight.

Firmly he shook himself out of the memory. Thinking about it did not help. It only made him feel worse. He was really screwed up, thinking repeatedly of the times that he and Itachi’s bodies met. Oh yes... more than that one time. Sasuke thought his brother would not return after that, ashamed as he was that it had happened. Instead, there were frequent visits ones that repeated the end result of the events that night... and some where the tables were turned, Sasuke the one pinned to the wall. To the wall, the bed, the shower, kitchen counter... Sasuke growled and shook his head, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

Those thoughts kept coming to his mind, putting a distance between himself and everyone else. Sakura noticed it first, that he would no longer try to go out with them, instead he would hurry home, hoping his brother might show that night. Naruto probably had noticed it as well, the blonde’s eyes were starting to watch him, blue depths filled with worry.


Walking, waiting, alone without a care.
Hoping and hating the things that I cannot bare.
Did you think its cool to walk right up,
To take my life and fuck it up?
Well did you?
...I hate you.


Itachi was ruining his life again. The first time by removing all that he cared about, as well as himself from his childhood. Hating, he could deal with that. This new... weird feeling was foreign. It was not love, but a craving. Sasuke was sure there was some sort of psychological reasoning behind it. There was always a reason that made everything make sense. He just could not find it.

His only purpose was once more taken from him. If he ever wanted to kill Itachi, he was sure he could in those moments they spent together. Did his brother trust him that much, or have a death wish? Sasuke’s mind could not settle on either, neither making sense. He could not help but scoff at that thought. Not much made sense any more.


I see hell in your eyes.
Taken in by surprise.
Touching you makes me feel alive.
Touching you makes me die inside.


The wind shook the trees, leaves whispering and murmuring amongst themselves. Liking something so wrong, it was making him numb to everything around him. Itachi might as well have killed him that night. The only time he felt alive was when his brother moaned and touched him, those times that were so wrong. He should just kill Itachi and move on. The older Uchiha was giving him the opportunity, why not take advantage of it? Surely there was nothing wrong with doing so. His brother had mercilessly slaughtered everyone, Sasuke should be able to do the same to avenge them.

Sasuke was almost to his apartment when a hand touched his shoulder. Squashing the hope that lifted his spirt, Sasuke glanced over his shoulder. He scowled; it was only Naruto. The blonde’s eyebrows were drawn together in worry, hand squeezing his shoulder.

“Oi, Sasuke... are you okay?”


I’ve slept so long without you,
Its tearing me apart to.
How did it get this far,
Playing games with this held heart?




A test, he needed to test what these feelings were. Just lust, surely, but if there was anything more behind it he would know. If he were crazy... this would be how to know. “Naruto.” Sasuke turned, fingers curling in his shirt and pulling him forward. He kissed his long time friend soundly, working his frustration out into that kiss. Itachi had not appeared in months, he needed something to get out the anger, hurt, pain, emptiness... the bundle of feelings that he felt because of it. Accepting, Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke’s neck, body melting against the Uchiha.

Sasuke dimly heard a nagging little voice in his mind telling him it was wrong to take advantage of Naruto like this. Funny, the thought his conscience had fled years ago. Naruto could always tell him no, that’s what made it okay. The blonde had so obviously wanted him, but respected the space Sasuke needed. He thought of it as repaying the kindness, not thinking about how the morning would be. There might be some explaining to do, that this was a one time action. Or not... if it felt as good as it did when he was with Itachi, then he would kill his brother in his time of trusting weakness, and possibly be happy with his friend. A simple life was within his grasp.


I’ve killed a million petty souls...


Dismissing Naruto the next morning was easy. He did not ask questions, but the smile Sasuke hated, for it always made him smile back, had returned. The blonde’s step had an extra bounce in it, walking happily away from his apartment to return to his own and freshen up. There was little sleep had that night, and Sasuke felt like taking advantage of his day off to catch up. With a yawn he dropped into bed, smirking at the scent of both that lingered. Naruto... was fun.

A pressure woke Sasuke, eyes flying open. His brother sat on his hips, cloak tossed over a chair. The look he turned on Sasuke was cold, with a hint of something else. Sasuke returned the look, anger of being set aside so easily. “Where have you been?” He hissed, curious as to why he could be so expendable. Their times together had seemed so mutually pleasurable, he wanted to know if it all had been a lie.

“I saw him here.”

Sasuke blinked then narrowed his eyes. “Who?”

“The kyuubi vessel. You took him here.”

“The last time I checked, I wasn’t yours.”

Itachi watched him, the flicker of what Sasuke saw earlier growing for a moment before the detached mask was firmly in place once more. Hurt, Sasuke had finally placed the emotion in his brother’s eyes, Itachi felt hurt. Sasuke could not help but stare at his brother with wide eyes. He did not know that Itachi could feel something so... human. “You aren’t, I suppose.”

“Maybe,” he whispered before pulling Itachi down, kissing him. He melted under his brother’s caresses, moaning against his lips. The older Uchiha remained above him, moving his body against Sasuke. Last night had been fun, but this... Damn Itachi. It felt so good, and so wrong... which made it all so much better. While Itachi lapped at his neck, Sasuke’s eyes focused on his bed side table. There was a knife, right under the clock. It was thin, more like a razor than a real knife. All he had to do was reach over and take it out, then end it all. Itachi would be dead, and he would not feel these confusing feelings any more.


...but I couldn’t kill you.
I’ve slept so long without you.


Biting his lip, Sasuke closed his eyes, reaching up to clutch at his brother’s back. He would tell Naruto later, possibly break his friend’s heart. The future that was so hazy before was even more so now. This could not last, it would have to end at some point. Sasuke wished with all of his being that the point would not come until much later. Itachi was what he wanted. “This will end eventually... We’ll have to fight each other someday.”

“I can live with that. Can you?” Itachi barely paused in his attention to Sasuke’s neck, hands slipping under the younger Uchiha’s pants.

Sasuke moaned, body arching into the touch. “Yes.”