Cold

I dont own Naruto. I merely borrow the characters and make them do dirty things. I do however disinfect them with bleach when im done ^^

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Of all the things I expected to see when I finally opened my eyes, you wasn't one of them. Your dark eyes look down on me as you straddle my thighs, a playful smile on your lips. Your bandanna locking that chocolate brown lock of hair to the middle of your forehead. I'm too shocked to say anything as you reach up and grab my wrists and hold them above my head. I know why your here, you have unfinished business with me. I wonder why your still in your uniform. It makes me feel vulnerable, laid out like a sacrifice on my crimson silk bed sheets, clothed in only my boxers.

You move so that only your left hand holds my wrists and your right is free to roam all over my body. My muscles shudder involuntarily under your feather light touches and i gasp at the feel of you on my skin again. Your fingers stroke my cheek with fondness a reenactment of a memory. Your hands are cold, every things cold, this isn't right, somethings wrong. You smile that cocky smile, The one you know drives me crazy. My breath hitches in my throat and I struggle to hold back the noise that was to follow. My eyes clench shut as you run your hand over my chest and twist a nipple ring. The hand that holds my wrists tightens and I have to grit my teeth against the pain . You always knew my kinks.

I groan as you move to sit squarely on my hips. You grind your perfect buttocks into me and beg me to take you. I never could resist the kicked puppy look for to long and you know it. I arch up and look at you with tear filled eyes. I know this is wrong but I cant help myself. I'm going to get hurt again, I can feel it with every part of my being.

I feel sick with confusion, I want you and I need you but at the same time I want you to go away and leave me to wallow in my grief. I pull at my wrists but i feel weak, you've taken my energy from me. You've taken everything. I clench my eyes shut as i feel tears stinging at the corners of my eyes. I promised I had no more tears that would fall for your name. You left me all alone with nothing, you took my love and burned me with the fires of passion.

You look me in the eye and I see how sorry you are, I see the love and the lust but its the film of tears I can say that gives you away. You always prided yourself on the fact no one could read your emotions, no one except me of course.

You reach down and pull the blanket fully off of me, the night chill creeps into my bones and i shiver. You lean down and cuddle me to try protect me from the cold. You always tried to keep me safe. You pull up until our faces are level and you kiss me. Its not passionate, full of lust, primal, aggressive or even needy. Its just.... nice. Its nice to be near you and have your lips on mine, nice to feel the hardness of your body against my own. Nice to feel the familiarity again, I've really missed you, but you know that or you wouldn't be here.

"I always loved you" Your words cut the air like a kunai through my skin and I choke on a sob. I pull away from you but you hold me still. "You need to hear this, you need to let me go, please move on"

I can't fight it anymore I let the tears flow free "I can't, I can't sleep without you next to me, I turn around and expect to see your smile but your gone. There's too much here that reminds me of you" I pause as i choke on a sob "Please come back to me, whatever I've done I'm sorry.... please take me out of the cold"

That smile of yours is something else. Its sad but at the same time so happy and bright. Its like a unspoken promise of something good to come. "I can't keep you warm forever"

I close my eyes as I feel you lay down next to me "Just give me tonight?"

You smile and a single tear slowly tracks down your face "tonight" you nod as you place a light kiss to my forehead.

I smile as I feel your arms wrap around my shivering form and pull me close. "Thank you"

I feel your lips twitch on my shoulder and i hear a sniff. I want to turn and pull you close, you were smaller and younger than me, made me want to look after you more. Made me want to pull you against my chest and keep you safe from everything. I close my eyes and breathe in the scent that is you. I can feel my eyes growing heavy and I try so hard to stay awake and keep this moment going for as long as I can. I lace my fingers with yours and kiss each of you fingers.

"Sleep" You say, and I like the good boy I am, I follow your whispered order and fall into a peaceful slumber. The first I have had for many months.

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I awake in the morning to bright sunlight, I feel the day is mocking me already. I turn over fast hoping to see you slumbering next to me but your gone.

"A dream" I whisper it to myself. I throw back the covers and something blue catches my eye, your bandanna pinned to your pillow with my lucky senbon.

I smile and let the tears flow free, I cry for everything we had, everything we lost and everything we could have had. I cry for the memories that adorn the walls of my apartment and the smile I see in the photographs on my dresser. I swore I had no tears left for you but that was a lie.

I know you was here last night and I smile, suddenly the world seems brighter and I don't feel so alone anymore. I know you are near me always and I'm not as cold as I was.