Place Thy Beta

Place Thy Bets

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or Naruto

“I bet I will have Itachi writhing under me in pleasure before the day is out.” Kisame said smugly. “He’ll never be able to resist my charms!”

“What charms?” Fukuro said. “I see no charms!”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Sai.” Sasuke said to his eldest brother. “Anyway I bet Itachi will have more self control, you big headed, shark looking… ninja!”

Kakuzu grinned. “What about wagers?” He asked, seeing a prime opportunity to make money. There was a flurry of black and red and other colours as people started to place bets against Kisame’s boast. Kakuzu looked to Orochimaru. “Orochimaru, where does your bet lie?”

“I bet that Kisame will do it.” Orochimaru said. “If he can’t…” Orochimaru took a moment to think. “If Kisame can’t do what he says then I’ll remain on my hands and knees for anyone here to do with me what they will.” He was glad that Kurama and Itachi had chosen to get the drinks in. If the kitsune and Uchiha heard what was being planned then heads would be rolling, primarily Kisame and his.


“You know, I think they’re up to something.” Kurama said to the middle Uchiha. “They look shifty, not to mention money has changed hands.” The Uchiha didn’t look too bothered.

“Kakuzu loves money, so he takes part in gambling quite a lot. This was a regular occurrence at the Akatsuki HQ in the past. Obviously Sasori has kept it going, I don’t blame him either. It keeps Kakuzu happy after all.” Itachi picked up one of the trays with glasses as Kurama took the second. Why Orochimaru had ordered a ‘Snakebite with Venom’ he’d never know. He warned the Sannin of it’s alcohol content, but it didn’t faze the man at all, if anything it encouraged him to order the drink. Kurama placed the glass before the snake before handing out the drinks to the others that he was carrying. Personally he thought that some of the combinations were mad, but each to their own. He had decided long ago never to mix drinks and stuck to lagers and beers.

Only once had he attempted to drink a Snakebite, and that ended up badly. He couldn’t remember what happened that night, and Yusuke and Hiei both refused to tell him. At least he had been brought home; he woke up next to Orochimaru, and had promptly emptied the contents of his stomach on the sleeping nin. He just hoped that Orochimaru would be okay with such a… potent mixture. His queries about his partner’s alcohol usage were waved away, and Kurama wondered if that meant that his lover was less used to alcohol than he made out. He had considered swapping his less alcoholic drink for Orochimaru’s, but he knew he probably wouldn’t get away with it. He could only watch as the Sannin drank some of the mixture.

Deidara caught Kakuzu’s arm. “Here’s another wager for you. I bet that Orochimaru won’t be on his feet once he drinks that drink.”

“I will too.” Orochimaru said, glaring at the blond. “I’m not that weak.” As if to prove the point he drank more. Everyone watched the man with bated breath. Orochimaru knew what they were waiting for and stood up. He refused to allow Deidara to win his bet.

“You still have three quarters to go, Orochimaru, don’t be so hasty.”


Itachi was watching the show with amusement when he felt a hand rest on his thigh. It didn’t take much for him to realise that it was Kisame’s. “Not here.” Itachi hissed into the shark’s ear. “At least not in front of my brothers!” Kisame smirked. What Itachi didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt him. After all, even his little brother bet that Kisame couldn’t get Itachi in bed… then again, who said anything about a bed? Kisame’s hand moved to the Uchiha’s crotch and gently rubbed the slight bulge, feeling it respond. “Kisame!” The stoic Uchiha was now bright red, and his cry had drawn the attention of many of the other patrons of the bar.

“What ever is the matter, Itachi?” Kisame asked with a wide grin.

“You know very well what the matter is, now stop it!” He shivered when he felt a tongue lick his ear. His ears were his weakness, and the shark knew that all too well. “Kisame.” The cry was no longer a cry but a throaty moan instead.

“Do you really want me to stop, Itachi?” Kisame asked and he licked the ear again when he didn’t get an answer. “Itachi?” The Uchiha couldn’t help but moan ‘no’, which made the smirk widen. Kisame then winked at the rest of the group as he continued his slow seduction.


While Kisame was torturing the Uchiha, Kurama had made a break to the bathroom. With Deidara’s taunting in his mind, Orochimaru quickly finished his drink and stood up. All of a sudden, he teetered and fell onto Fukuro’s lap. “A… aren’t we shtrong *hiccup*?” Orochimaru said as his arms wrapped around Fukuro’s neck.

The eldest Uchiha froze when he felt Orochimaru wriggle on his lap. ‘No, no, NO!’ His mind screamed. ‘This can’t be happening!’ He then saw Kurama exit the toilets, and hoped that the redhead could see the problematic male on his lap. Kurama froze when he saw what Orochimaru was doing. It was very obvious that the snake was wasted, but to be wriggling provocatively on the Uchiha’s lap.

Sai tried to give his boyfriend a helping hand, but all he got was a glare from the Sannin. “I’m shorry, but this sheat is taken.” Orochimaru said, before staring into Fukuro’s eyes. “Isn’t it, Fukuro-chan?” The Sannin fluttered his eyelashes before trying to kiss the Uchiha but Fukuro was having none of it and tried to avoid the Sannin’s lips, but there was only so far a trapped man could move, and he soon had a pair of cool lips pressed against his. Not pleased by the kiss that he got, Orochimaru’s eyes moved around the others at the table, his eyes settling on the blond.

“No, not me!” Deidara said as Orochimaru left Fukuro’s lap. “Orochimaru, don’t you bloody dare unn!” The artist looked for an escape route. “Shuichi, if you know what’s good for your partner’s health, keep him away from me unn!” It was the shout that snapped Kurama out of his daze. However Orochimaru’s target changed, his golden gaze was now on another, totally unsuspecting, victim, Uchiha Sasuke.

“No.” Kurama groaned, trying to get to Orochimaru before he got to Sasuke, however he didn’t make it in time. The youngest Uchiha squeaked when Orochimaru plonked down into his lap. Kurama had the strangest feeling that Orochimaru probably mentally scarred the Uchiha when he kissed him. ‘Two Uchihas… SHIT!’ He thought, determined to stop Orochimaru before he ‘attacked’ the final Uchiha to make a set.


Oblivious to the threat he was under, Itachi had slowly begun to thrust into the fist that was wrapped around his weeping shaft. Either it was the alcohol, or it was the pure abandon that the middle Uchiha felt, but he no longer cared where he was, or who could see, all he wanted was Kisame to continue what he was doing, and to do more. “Ki... Kisame!” Itachi moaned. “Don’t fucking tease me!” His eyelids closed as he felt his climax approaching.

Orochimaru noticed movement under the table and went to investigate. Had the Sannin been in his right mind, he’d have kept away, but his alcohol-clouded judgement said otherwise. Before Kurama could stop him, he disappeared under the table. “Orochimaru-sama!” The fox shouted, trying to stop the snake, but Orochimaru wasn’t listening. He was now determined to find out what the movement was, and soon he found out. Orochimaru’s tongue slipped around Itachi’s shaft, making the Uchiha moan louder, legs spreading wider as he welcomed the intruding muscle to do whatever it wanted.

Kurama had a very good idea when Itachi moaned as to what Orochimaru was doing to the Uchiha, and he was having none of it. He let out a deep growl and sent a few vines to drag the amorous snake out from under the table. He got an annoyed hiss from Orochimaru, but that didn’t deter the kitsune. He eventually got the Sannin from under the table, but the moment that he was released, the snake was looking for another consort. Kurama could feel Youko’s angry growl and knew that the kitsune wasn’t far from breaking point. He just hoped that the alcohol would wear off before Youko broke free.

Orochimaru’s gaze moved to a white haired guy, and let out a purr of appreciation, before he sauntered over. “Jiraiya, so nice to see you.” Orochimaru said as a hand stroked over the other’s chest.

“Are you… drunk?” Jiraiya asked, seeing a pair of smouldering emerald eyes glaring at the Sannins. A slim leg wrapped itself around the taller man’s hip. Yes, the snake was definitely drunk. Jiraiya thought. Not even when they were younger, would the dignified Orochimaru do something so… blatant. Now the other Sannin was trapped, he could either play along with Orochimaru or he could try to escape the kitsune. ‘To hell with morality!’ Jiraiya thought as Orochimaru’s lips grazed against his neck. ‘This is too damned good!’ His hands moved around the other Sannin’s back, holding Orochimaru close.

Kurama could feel the anger burn in his belly. He wanted nothing more than to grab his lover and pin him to the wall and remind him whose he was. Had he been Youko he would have done so. As it was he was standing back, almost helpless, watching as his lover flirted shamelessly with one of the biggest perverts in Konoha. Life wasn’t fair! He would never give the Sannin anything with alcohol in it again.


Itachi moved to sit in Kisame’s lap, however he felt the tip of the shark’s penis press against his unprepared hole. The lust-driven Uchiha had two choices; he could carry on with the idea, and be in pain the next day, or drag home the shark, and possibly make him grumble. No it was settled, Itachi lowered himself onto the hard flesh, holding back a whimper of pain as he settled in the shark’s lap. Slowly, Kisame started to thrust into the tight channel. Then he decided that he wanted a better fucking angle so, with complaints from Itachi, he moved to one of the unoccupied tables.


Orochimaru soon grew tired of Jiraiya and pulled away, thinking of some other way to get what he wanted. The Sannin then grinned as his hands dropped to the tie to his robe. Slowly the material slipped through his fingers as the robe slipped from his shoulders. He threw the robe away from his body, and it landed over the rampant lovers. The snake wasn’t embarrassed, shame that the same couldn’t be said for Kurama. The kitsune was mortified to see his lover naked in public, mortified that he actually liked it. It didn’t help that it was so obvious that Kisame and Itachi were enjoying themselves. Moving quickly, the fox snatched up the robe and tried to dress Orochimaru. “I’m taking you home.” Kurama said.

“I don’t want to go home.” The Sannin said, allowing Kurama to dress him anyway. “Why are we going?” Kurama couldn’t help but think how much of a child Orochimaru sounded in that moment, and it was then that a part of him understood the Sannin a little better.

“I want to take you home, because I love you, and I don’t like to share, unlike them.” Kurama said, pointedly looking at Kisame, Itachi and the rocking table.” When I want you, I want you in private.” The kitsune’s lips caught the snake’s. “Now, are you coming?” The Sannin obediently followed kitsune then.


It didn’t take long for the romping ex-Akatsuki members to some to a head, and as he climaxed, Uchiha Itachi, the great Mangekyo Sharingan user, passed out. Kisame’s climax followed soon after, however he stayed fully conscious to watch Kakuzu taking in the winnings. “Nice doing business with you, gentlemen.” Kisame said as he manoeuvred the unconscious Uchiha to be able to pull his pants up. “I think I’m taking my little lover home.”