Snapshots: Like Trying to Hold Water
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Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
4
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Category:
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
4
Views:
1,158
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Snapshots: Like Trying to Hold Water
Like Trying to Hold Water (Kaka/Naru, Sasu/Naru)
1) Before: the day of Team 7's first Survival Training
Kakashi watched his students from a distance, loitering around waiting for him. He knew he was late, but he wasn't quite in the mood to deal with his new team yet. He had just come from the memorial stone, he could still feel the carved marks of the names against his fingers, smoothed with age, rain and snow and wind. He visited there every morning, to remind himself of the people he had lost. He sighed heavily, and kept his one uncovered eye on the three kids in front of him.
He watched as the blond one said something to the girl, and she punched him, flat out on his back. She was so loud when she shouted back that he could hear her words clearly. Kakshi winced. He wasn't sure he liked her. He turned his eyes then to the dark haired boy. Kakashi's chest swelled a little, the Uchiha looked so much like Obito he almost couldn't stand it. Sure, there were some differences, but overall the effect was the same. Obito had been his most precious person once, he still was really, it's just that he wasn't around anymore to appreciate it. Well, it wasn't that he wasn't around so much as that he lived quietly, in the back of Kakashi's head, behind that spinning red eye that was the only thing left. A little piece of a lost boy, taken root in the body of the only person he ever really connected with
The more he watched the young Uchiha though, the less the boy reminded him of Obito. They acted nothing alike at all, Sasuke was all closed doors and sharp edges, quiet and brooding where Obito had been loud and brash, always smiling. It was then that the blond one caught his eye again. He watched as he slowly inched towards the annoying little girl again, only to get pushed on his ass again as she left to go stand by Sasuke, who ignored her. The pieces slid into place and he stood, walking towards them. He didn't really want to do this, didn't want to deal with them, not today at least. But he had to.
x
Kakashi sat in the tree, like he always did, and watched his team waiting below him. It hurt a little bit to see the familiar dynamic played out in front of him. He watched, as Naruto sat on the ground, glancing sulkily up at Sakura. His hand rubbed the back of his head a little, fondling the bump she'd just given him delicatly. She wasn't paying any attention to him anymore though, all soft eyes and nervous palms, glancing over at Sasuke, leaning against the railing of the bridge, ignoring her in turn. He was brooding, or at least he really, really looked like he was brooding. Kakshi could see the quick glances and nervous fingers, rubbing the hilt of the kunai at his waist over and over, hidden from the other two by crossed arms.
Kakashi could see it because he'd been there. His throat was dry suddenly, he managed a wry smile. Isn't that always the way? None of them know what they want, or none of them know how to get it... The voice in his head was familiar, he could almost see the face attached, smiling wide, tinted goggles pushed up into messy hair. Kakashi shivered.
He sighed, heavily but silently, and stood, careful not to shake the branches of the tree at all. These children may be young, only Genins now, but they were still ninja. He jumped backwards and let himself fall to the ground, little orange book in one hand, held out like a shield before him.
"You're LATE" Naruto pointed an accusing finger, and he just smiled.
"There was a family of ducks crossing the road, I had to make sure none of them were hit." He did his best to look cheerful yet distant. None of them looked any closer, they didn't really expect any more. He liked it like that.
X
Kakashi watched the blond sleep through the his apartment window, chest rising and falling in a slow, peaceful lull. He knew this was all kinds of creepy, and probably not a healthy thing at all, but he bit those thoughts back and concentrated on sitting. Very. Very. Still.
It was cold outside, and the roof he was perched on across the street was slippery with dew and age. Still, he couldn't tear his eyes away. He's just sleeping, it's not like he won't be there in the morning, right? The kid never misses training. He shook his head to clear it, even if that voice was familiar and soothing. He sighed.
He really is just like me, isn't he Kakashi? That was a surprise, in the beginning. I mean, you've got an Uchiha on your team, and this boy is still closer to being what you want. Ironic, isn't it. Kakashi almost smiled, but you're nothing like the other Uchihas. He shook his head again.
X
He had sent Sasuke outside, to do guard duty. He didn't really enjoy these overnight missions, with the other two along, always fighting for his attention, even if they didn't mean to. He lay on his side in the little tent, every muscle relaxed just watching the boy breathe. Kakashi let one hand rise, watching it with a detached pleasure as it stroked the lines of the boy's tanned cheek lightly.
Naruto was a heavy sleeper, he knew that fact well by now. He still kept his breath silent though, kept his touches light on the skin, not wanting to break the spell of almost darknes, peace, like the boy was caught in ice, sealed in amber. His long fingers trailed down over the boy's bare chest, it was summer after all, and the weather was almost too warm for comfort. He marveled at the definition on the small form, tracing the line from the boy's collar bone, past his chest muscles, through the valley between his abs, stopping at the thin line of hair disapearing under the boy's shorts.
He shivered slightly when he noticed how tight they were, sitting snugly against tanned skin. He waited a second, lingering unsure at the line between fabric and flesh. He cocked his head to the side, holding his breath. Silence, that was a good sign. He took a deep breath and let his hand trail lower, tracing the outline of the boy's soft member through the cotton barrier. He pressed a little, rubbing it gently, outlining it with his fingers, trying to remember every curve and crevice.
He shivered when he felt the flesh harden under his fingers. He hadn't planned that, but now that he felt it, he couldn't make himself stop. He rubbed a little harder, flattening his palm against the soft surface of the boy's only remaining clothing until the little moan fell from the boy's lips. Kakashi checked his chakra quickly, and was relived to note he was still fast asleep.
The Jounin almost whimpered when the tanned hips bucked slightly into his hand. It was perfect, just how he had seen it in his head. He wrapped his hand around the boy's flesh almost timidly, pumping it through the shorts. He felt the small spots of liquid wetting the material from the other side and had to shift, readjusting his own member in his pants, now suddenly somewhere between too tight and not tight enough.
His voice, it's delicious He nodded to the words spoken inside his head. He had to have more. He stilled for a second, listening again. he could feel Sakura's sleeping chakra from the other tent, and Sasuke sitting by the dying fire, scanning the woods before him, back to his teammates' tents.
It took all of Kakashi's courage then, to let go of his prize and flatten his hand against the tanned stomach, slipping it slowly underneath the waistband. He could feel the heat coming off the boy in waves, and all of a sudden his own arousal seemed too thick in his mouth, it was in his lungs, choking him. His breathing sped up as he traced the seal coming to the surface on Naruto's smooth stomach, trying to drink down as much precious air as he could around the feeling settling into his stomach like mercury.
He's soft, so soft on the outside. His skin is like a dream, muscles taught and close. Gods, does he know how bad you need this? Do you know? Kakashi nodded blindly, clutching onto the boy's hot flesh with one hand, pumping it in long, even strokes. His other hand went down to adjust himself, but the little hiss of pleasure that shot through him when he touched himself there caused it to stay, rubbing gently at the bulge in his pants, timing his actions to the pump of his other hand.
He couldn't help but moan quietly, biting his cheek to keep himself in check. It was prefect like this. The boy's mouth had fallen open in sleep, his own breath getting heavy and shallow to match his teacher's. The sight was beyond erotic, almost enough to drive him over the edge on its own. Not quite though.
Kakashi refocused himself on the boy then, on memorizing every inch of him, sprawled out on his back now and glistening with a thin layer of slick sweat. He could feel the boy tensing slightly so he knew the blond was close, and he had to bite his tongue hard when the boy gave that one last groan, spilling himself hot and wet onto his own flat, tanned stomach, over splash coating Kakshi's hand.
He couldn't take it anymore, and let his clean hand pop the button on his uniform pants, sliding them down just enough to free himself. He brought the wet hand forwards and wrapped it around his own shaft, the sight of the blond boy's seed coating his fingers made his breath catch, the slickness a blessing in itself.
It didn't take him long to finish, biting into the wrist of his clean hand to keep from moaning loud enough to wake anyone. He lay there dazed for a moment, damp and sticky as he was, trying to level his breathing in the warm afterglow. That was amazing, wasn't it? I would have been the same, you know that right? I would have been just as beautiful, on my back, eyes shut tight, uncomprehending. Kakashi only nodded, letting his head fall to the side to watch the boy breathing once more. He groaped beside him for something to clean up with, trembling fingers dragging a towel from his bag.
His heart was racing still, and he let his eyes fall closed as he mopped himself off as best as he could. He'd still be sticky in the morning, but he could bathe then, for now he was too tired, too warm to move. It was almost an afterthought to check the chakra signals around him once more. His heart skipped a beat when he sensed Sasuke, closer to their tent than before, standing stock still, attentive head facing them.
Kakashi swore silently, hoping he hadn't made too much noise. He almost turned to clean Naruto off, but decided against it. That would mean touching the boy again, and Sasuke was watching them now. He couldn't do that. Kakashi rolled over, so his back was to the blond beside him. He closed his eyes and pulled his chakra into a pattern of sleep. The last thing he felt before he really did fall under was Sasuke's gaze, still on their tent.
X
The morning was almost normal, his team packing up their camp site, Naruto humming loudly over a cup of instant ramen he'd made for breakfast, poking the coals of the fire with a long stick. Sakura had been her usualy grumpy self, snapping at the blnd and smiling dreamily at Sasuke, who methodically went through all of his tasks, making sure everythign was done before flopping over, leaning on a tree at the edge of the small clearing and staring at the ground between his feet.
Kakashi had noticed the little things though, but only because he was looking for them. He noticed the way Sasuke's eyes would dart to the blond boy by the fire, then to Kakashi's own face, half hidden behind his mask. He noticed how the Uchiha lingered a little longer than necessary binding the tent to his pack, kneeling in the dirt to the side of the rock the other boy sat on, carefully set between student and teacher, how the boy seemed to snap at Sakura more than usual, dropping his normal routine of ignoring her.
Kakashi frowned, but only on the inside. Outside he kept a distant, cheerful smile on his face, keeping his distance from his students, Naruto especially. The longer he stayed away from the blond, the more he felt the slight static in the air diminish until it was just white noise, fading into the background of the forest as they walked home.
X
He hadn't been expecting a knock at his door. It had been three weeks since they'd had that mission, camping in the woods. The first night back Kakashi had stayed in. The second night he'd gotten ansty, he went for a walk that just happened to take him past Naruto's apartment. The third night he'd drunk an entire bottle of sake. He didn't remember why he did it, but it had seemed like a good idea at the time. needless to say, he didn't show up at training the next day.
Naruto had come round to yell at him that night, and he blamed everything else on that. The next night he hadn't been able to sit still, he had to go out. He'd sat silently on the rooftop once again, and just watched the boy breathing, stretched out on his back, sliver of tanned stomach showing from under the shirt he'd worn to bed.
He wanted to go closer, go on, it would be so damn easy to unlock that window, slip inside. You know he sleeps so soundly he'd never notice you. I never noticed you. Just think of how soft his skin would be under your fingers. Again, do it again, you want to, I know you do. Hell, I want to.
But he didn't. Kakashi just sat on the rooftop until morning, watching the boy breathe and roll, kicking in his sleep but never really waking up. The thoughts tumbled over in his mind. This boy was alive, he was here and warm and he wasn't leaving. He's still here, you know he's still here, breathing softly in his sleep, even though I'm not, not really.
It was a small comfort really, but he didn't have many of those left. He was so entranced with the tanned skin and soft lips, with blond hair spread out like a halo around the boy's head that he never noticed the figure watching him from the street. Kakashi left when the sun peaked over the horizon finally, setting the sky above it on fire. The shadow below lingered far longer though, staring at the roof where he'd sat with a scowl.
He found he could go a couple nights without it, sleeping fitfully in snatches. He was used to that though. He hadn't really slept well since ... well, then. Still, he found himself out there, watching. He wasn't aware he was being watched until that late evening visit though. It was a warm night, he'd cancelled training that day, saying they'd just come back from a mission, and that they should be resting up. The knock at his door startled him out of his preparations, the little rituals he did, washing the dishes in a certain way, stacking them in the cupboard just so, each one carefully dried. He'd almost dropped the plate he was drying.
He wasn't sure what to expect when he'd answered it, but as a ninja he liked to think he'd be prepared for anything. He was not prepared for a scowling Uchiha though, eyes black and filled with something. It made him shiver. Those eyes, you remember those eyes, don't you? He'd buried his nervousness under a smile though, not stepping back from the door though. He didn't want the boy in his apartment really. There was silence for a moment, the boy suddenly looking a little nervous, figeting like he wasn't quite sure what to do with his hands.
"Sasuke?" Kakashi prodded him to get on with whatever business he had here. He hadn't been to that rooftop for days, and he felt the need right now, the soft pull. The boy had scolwed up at him then with renewed purpose.
"Stop it, Kakashi-sensei." The jounin had cocked an eyebrow at this.
"Stop what?" The question was an honest one, he wasn't sure what the boy was talking about. It only made the Uchiha shoot him a glare.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Kakashi-sensei. Naruto. Stop. It. Right. Now." He'd smiled at this, not his normal bored grin, more of a smirk really, all sharp corners and bared teeth underneath his mask.
"I'm sure I don't know what you're referring to, Sasuke-kun, but I would think twice before threatening a ninja so many levels beyond you." Sasuke fumed again, and pushed past him, into the little apartment. Kakashi had made some startled noise of indignation then, but shut the door after him anyways. This was going to be more complicated now, he was sure of it.
The boy stared resolutly out the living room window, into the darkness beyond. Kakashi waited in the silence, doing his best to keep himself calm. He didn't have time for this right now. Tonight was his night, and the compulsion was hot in his mind, a roaring rush of background noise not so easily ignored.
"I heard you, on that mission. Did you think I wouldn't? You set me up for guard duty that night, I was paying close attention to everything. What kind of ninja would I be if I didn't?" There was steel in his voice, and Kakashi was reminded of the power that laid under the boy's skin. But he was still just a genin, as overconfident as he was. Even being an Uchiha, as much as that name still meant, he had nothing on Kakashi.
"Sasuke-" He started, but the boy whirled back around, cutting him off with cold, hard eyes.
"Does he know?" The man was silent again. This only made the boy's voice waver more, his anger making his grip on control slip a little bit more.
"Does. He. Know. Kakashi?" The older ninja cocked his head to the side a little, then sighed wearily.
"No, and it will stay that way." His voice was firm, commanding, almost stern. Kakashi was removing himself slowly, leaving just the training, just the team leader. It was easier that way. His heart still skipped lightly when the boy's eyes faded to red, black motes spinning slowly to life. Those eyes, I used to have those eyes once. I gave them to you though, or one of them anyways. Funny, I don't think I ever quite looked at you like that though, not with so much impotent rage and hatred. I couldn't do that. The thought echoed in his head.
"Not the same eyes" Kakashi murmured under his breath, grin falling hollow for a second, eyes looking straight through, past the boy in front of him to something else, something underneath the underneath, something that wasn't there anymore. But it was, inside of his head, it really, really was.
Sasuke shivered a little, under that gaze, not sure how to take it. It felt like his teacher was looking inside of him. The moment was gone as quickly as it came though, and the Uchiha felt like kicking himself for letting it happen in the first place.
"Stop it Kakashi-sensei." He fell back on his earlier words for strength. This seemed to snap the jounin out of it though, and he was back on planet earth, turning to Sasuke with a little smile once again.
"No."
X
1) Before: the day of Team 7's first Survival Training
Kakashi watched his students from a distance, loitering around waiting for him. He knew he was late, but he wasn't quite in the mood to deal with his new team yet. He had just come from the memorial stone, he could still feel the carved marks of the names against his fingers, smoothed with age, rain and snow and wind. He visited there every morning, to remind himself of the people he had lost. He sighed heavily, and kept his one uncovered eye on the three kids in front of him.
He watched as the blond one said something to the girl, and she punched him, flat out on his back. She was so loud when she shouted back that he could hear her words clearly. Kakshi winced. He wasn't sure he liked her. He turned his eyes then to the dark haired boy. Kakashi's chest swelled a little, the Uchiha looked so much like Obito he almost couldn't stand it. Sure, there were some differences, but overall the effect was the same. Obito had been his most precious person once, he still was really, it's just that he wasn't around anymore to appreciate it. Well, it wasn't that he wasn't around so much as that he lived quietly, in the back of Kakashi's head, behind that spinning red eye that was the only thing left. A little piece of a lost boy, taken root in the body of the only person he ever really connected with
The more he watched the young Uchiha though, the less the boy reminded him of Obito. They acted nothing alike at all, Sasuke was all closed doors and sharp edges, quiet and brooding where Obito had been loud and brash, always smiling. It was then that the blond one caught his eye again. He watched as he slowly inched towards the annoying little girl again, only to get pushed on his ass again as she left to go stand by Sasuke, who ignored her. The pieces slid into place and he stood, walking towards them. He didn't really want to do this, didn't want to deal with them, not today at least. But he had to.
x
Kakashi sat in the tree, like he always did, and watched his team waiting below him. It hurt a little bit to see the familiar dynamic played out in front of him. He watched, as Naruto sat on the ground, glancing sulkily up at Sakura. His hand rubbed the back of his head a little, fondling the bump she'd just given him delicatly. She wasn't paying any attention to him anymore though, all soft eyes and nervous palms, glancing over at Sasuke, leaning against the railing of the bridge, ignoring her in turn. He was brooding, or at least he really, really looked like he was brooding. Kakshi could see the quick glances and nervous fingers, rubbing the hilt of the kunai at his waist over and over, hidden from the other two by crossed arms.
Kakashi could see it because he'd been there. His throat was dry suddenly, he managed a wry smile. Isn't that always the way? None of them know what they want, or none of them know how to get it... The voice in his head was familiar, he could almost see the face attached, smiling wide, tinted goggles pushed up into messy hair. Kakashi shivered.
He sighed, heavily but silently, and stood, careful not to shake the branches of the tree at all. These children may be young, only Genins now, but they were still ninja. He jumped backwards and let himself fall to the ground, little orange book in one hand, held out like a shield before him.
"You're LATE" Naruto pointed an accusing finger, and he just smiled.
"There was a family of ducks crossing the road, I had to make sure none of them were hit." He did his best to look cheerful yet distant. None of them looked any closer, they didn't really expect any more. He liked it like that.
X
Kakashi watched the blond sleep through the his apartment window, chest rising and falling in a slow, peaceful lull. He knew this was all kinds of creepy, and probably not a healthy thing at all, but he bit those thoughts back and concentrated on sitting. Very. Very. Still.
It was cold outside, and the roof he was perched on across the street was slippery with dew and age. Still, he couldn't tear his eyes away. He's just sleeping, it's not like he won't be there in the morning, right? The kid never misses training. He shook his head to clear it, even if that voice was familiar and soothing. He sighed.
He really is just like me, isn't he Kakashi? That was a surprise, in the beginning. I mean, you've got an Uchiha on your team, and this boy is still closer to being what you want. Ironic, isn't it. Kakashi almost smiled, but you're nothing like the other Uchihas. He shook his head again.
X
He had sent Sasuke outside, to do guard duty. He didn't really enjoy these overnight missions, with the other two along, always fighting for his attention, even if they didn't mean to. He lay on his side in the little tent, every muscle relaxed just watching the boy breathe. Kakashi let one hand rise, watching it with a detached pleasure as it stroked the lines of the boy's tanned cheek lightly.
Naruto was a heavy sleeper, he knew that fact well by now. He still kept his breath silent though, kept his touches light on the skin, not wanting to break the spell of almost darknes, peace, like the boy was caught in ice, sealed in amber. His long fingers trailed down over the boy's bare chest, it was summer after all, and the weather was almost too warm for comfort. He marveled at the definition on the small form, tracing the line from the boy's collar bone, past his chest muscles, through the valley between his abs, stopping at the thin line of hair disapearing under the boy's shorts.
He shivered slightly when he noticed how tight they were, sitting snugly against tanned skin. He waited a second, lingering unsure at the line between fabric and flesh. He cocked his head to the side, holding his breath. Silence, that was a good sign. He took a deep breath and let his hand trail lower, tracing the outline of the boy's soft member through the cotton barrier. He pressed a little, rubbing it gently, outlining it with his fingers, trying to remember every curve and crevice.
He shivered when he felt the flesh harden under his fingers. He hadn't planned that, but now that he felt it, he couldn't make himself stop. He rubbed a little harder, flattening his palm against the soft surface of the boy's only remaining clothing until the little moan fell from the boy's lips. Kakashi checked his chakra quickly, and was relived to note he was still fast asleep.
The Jounin almost whimpered when the tanned hips bucked slightly into his hand. It was perfect, just how he had seen it in his head. He wrapped his hand around the boy's flesh almost timidly, pumping it through the shorts. He felt the small spots of liquid wetting the material from the other side and had to shift, readjusting his own member in his pants, now suddenly somewhere between too tight and not tight enough.
His voice, it's delicious He nodded to the words spoken inside his head. He had to have more. He stilled for a second, listening again. he could feel Sakura's sleeping chakra from the other tent, and Sasuke sitting by the dying fire, scanning the woods before him, back to his teammates' tents.
It took all of Kakashi's courage then, to let go of his prize and flatten his hand against the tanned stomach, slipping it slowly underneath the waistband. He could feel the heat coming off the boy in waves, and all of a sudden his own arousal seemed too thick in his mouth, it was in his lungs, choking him. His breathing sped up as he traced the seal coming to the surface on Naruto's smooth stomach, trying to drink down as much precious air as he could around the feeling settling into his stomach like mercury.
He's soft, so soft on the outside. His skin is like a dream, muscles taught and close. Gods, does he know how bad you need this? Do you know? Kakashi nodded blindly, clutching onto the boy's hot flesh with one hand, pumping it in long, even strokes. His other hand went down to adjust himself, but the little hiss of pleasure that shot through him when he touched himself there caused it to stay, rubbing gently at the bulge in his pants, timing his actions to the pump of his other hand.
He couldn't help but moan quietly, biting his cheek to keep himself in check. It was prefect like this. The boy's mouth had fallen open in sleep, his own breath getting heavy and shallow to match his teacher's. The sight was beyond erotic, almost enough to drive him over the edge on its own. Not quite though.
Kakashi refocused himself on the boy then, on memorizing every inch of him, sprawled out on his back now and glistening with a thin layer of slick sweat. He could feel the boy tensing slightly so he knew the blond was close, and he had to bite his tongue hard when the boy gave that one last groan, spilling himself hot and wet onto his own flat, tanned stomach, over splash coating Kakshi's hand.
He couldn't take it anymore, and let his clean hand pop the button on his uniform pants, sliding them down just enough to free himself. He brought the wet hand forwards and wrapped it around his own shaft, the sight of the blond boy's seed coating his fingers made his breath catch, the slickness a blessing in itself.
It didn't take him long to finish, biting into the wrist of his clean hand to keep from moaning loud enough to wake anyone. He lay there dazed for a moment, damp and sticky as he was, trying to level his breathing in the warm afterglow. That was amazing, wasn't it? I would have been the same, you know that right? I would have been just as beautiful, on my back, eyes shut tight, uncomprehending. Kakashi only nodded, letting his head fall to the side to watch the boy breathing once more. He groaped beside him for something to clean up with, trembling fingers dragging a towel from his bag.
His heart was racing still, and he let his eyes fall closed as he mopped himself off as best as he could. He'd still be sticky in the morning, but he could bathe then, for now he was too tired, too warm to move. It was almost an afterthought to check the chakra signals around him once more. His heart skipped a beat when he sensed Sasuke, closer to their tent than before, standing stock still, attentive head facing them.
Kakashi swore silently, hoping he hadn't made too much noise. He almost turned to clean Naruto off, but decided against it. That would mean touching the boy again, and Sasuke was watching them now. He couldn't do that. Kakashi rolled over, so his back was to the blond beside him. He closed his eyes and pulled his chakra into a pattern of sleep. The last thing he felt before he really did fall under was Sasuke's gaze, still on their tent.
X
The morning was almost normal, his team packing up their camp site, Naruto humming loudly over a cup of instant ramen he'd made for breakfast, poking the coals of the fire with a long stick. Sakura had been her usualy grumpy self, snapping at the blnd and smiling dreamily at Sasuke, who methodically went through all of his tasks, making sure everythign was done before flopping over, leaning on a tree at the edge of the small clearing and staring at the ground between his feet.
Kakashi had noticed the little things though, but only because he was looking for them. He noticed the way Sasuke's eyes would dart to the blond boy by the fire, then to Kakashi's own face, half hidden behind his mask. He noticed how the Uchiha lingered a little longer than necessary binding the tent to his pack, kneeling in the dirt to the side of the rock the other boy sat on, carefully set between student and teacher, how the boy seemed to snap at Sakura more than usual, dropping his normal routine of ignoring her.
Kakashi frowned, but only on the inside. Outside he kept a distant, cheerful smile on his face, keeping his distance from his students, Naruto especially. The longer he stayed away from the blond, the more he felt the slight static in the air diminish until it was just white noise, fading into the background of the forest as they walked home.
X
He hadn't been expecting a knock at his door. It had been three weeks since they'd had that mission, camping in the woods. The first night back Kakashi had stayed in. The second night he'd gotten ansty, he went for a walk that just happened to take him past Naruto's apartment. The third night he'd drunk an entire bottle of sake. He didn't remember why he did it, but it had seemed like a good idea at the time. needless to say, he didn't show up at training the next day.
Naruto had come round to yell at him that night, and he blamed everything else on that. The next night he hadn't been able to sit still, he had to go out. He'd sat silently on the rooftop once again, and just watched the boy breathing, stretched out on his back, sliver of tanned stomach showing from under the shirt he'd worn to bed.
He wanted to go closer, go on, it would be so damn easy to unlock that window, slip inside. You know he sleeps so soundly he'd never notice you. I never noticed you. Just think of how soft his skin would be under your fingers. Again, do it again, you want to, I know you do. Hell, I want to.
But he didn't. Kakashi just sat on the rooftop until morning, watching the boy breathe and roll, kicking in his sleep but never really waking up. The thoughts tumbled over in his mind. This boy was alive, he was here and warm and he wasn't leaving. He's still here, you know he's still here, breathing softly in his sleep, even though I'm not, not really.
It was a small comfort really, but he didn't have many of those left. He was so entranced with the tanned skin and soft lips, with blond hair spread out like a halo around the boy's head that he never noticed the figure watching him from the street. Kakashi left when the sun peaked over the horizon finally, setting the sky above it on fire. The shadow below lingered far longer though, staring at the roof where he'd sat with a scowl.
He found he could go a couple nights without it, sleeping fitfully in snatches. He was used to that though. He hadn't really slept well since ... well, then. Still, he found himself out there, watching. He wasn't aware he was being watched until that late evening visit though. It was a warm night, he'd cancelled training that day, saying they'd just come back from a mission, and that they should be resting up. The knock at his door startled him out of his preparations, the little rituals he did, washing the dishes in a certain way, stacking them in the cupboard just so, each one carefully dried. He'd almost dropped the plate he was drying.
He wasn't sure what to expect when he'd answered it, but as a ninja he liked to think he'd be prepared for anything. He was not prepared for a scowling Uchiha though, eyes black and filled with something. It made him shiver. Those eyes, you remember those eyes, don't you? He'd buried his nervousness under a smile though, not stepping back from the door though. He didn't want the boy in his apartment really. There was silence for a moment, the boy suddenly looking a little nervous, figeting like he wasn't quite sure what to do with his hands.
"Sasuke?" Kakashi prodded him to get on with whatever business he had here. He hadn't been to that rooftop for days, and he felt the need right now, the soft pull. The boy had scolwed up at him then with renewed purpose.
"Stop it, Kakashi-sensei." The jounin had cocked an eyebrow at this.
"Stop what?" The question was an honest one, he wasn't sure what the boy was talking about. It only made the Uchiha shoot him a glare.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Kakashi-sensei. Naruto. Stop. It. Right. Now." He'd smiled at this, not his normal bored grin, more of a smirk really, all sharp corners and bared teeth underneath his mask.
"I'm sure I don't know what you're referring to, Sasuke-kun, but I would think twice before threatening a ninja so many levels beyond you." Sasuke fumed again, and pushed past him, into the little apartment. Kakashi had made some startled noise of indignation then, but shut the door after him anyways. This was going to be more complicated now, he was sure of it.
The boy stared resolutly out the living room window, into the darkness beyond. Kakashi waited in the silence, doing his best to keep himself calm. He didn't have time for this right now. Tonight was his night, and the compulsion was hot in his mind, a roaring rush of background noise not so easily ignored.
"I heard you, on that mission. Did you think I wouldn't? You set me up for guard duty that night, I was paying close attention to everything. What kind of ninja would I be if I didn't?" There was steel in his voice, and Kakashi was reminded of the power that laid under the boy's skin. But he was still just a genin, as overconfident as he was. Even being an Uchiha, as much as that name still meant, he had nothing on Kakashi.
"Sasuke-" He started, but the boy whirled back around, cutting him off with cold, hard eyes.
"Does he know?" The man was silent again. This only made the boy's voice waver more, his anger making his grip on control slip a little bit more.
"Does. He. Know. Kakashi?" The older ninja cocked his head to the side a little, then sighed wearily.
"No, and it will stay that way." His voice was firm, commanding, almost stern. Kakashi was removing himself slowly, leaving just the training, just the team leader. It was easier that way. His heart still skipped lightly when the boy's eyes faded to red, black motes spinning slowly to life. Those eyes, I used to have those eyes once. I gave them to you though, or one of them anyways. Funny, I don't think I ever quite looked at you like that though, not with so much impotent rage and hatred. I couldn't do that. The thought echoed in his head.
"Not the same eyes" Kakashi murmured under his breath, grin falling hollow for a second, eyes looking straight through, past the boy in front of him to something else, something underneath the underneath, something that wasn't there anymore. But it was, inside of his head, it really, really was.
Sasuke shivered a little, under that gaze, not sure how to take it. It felt like his teacher was looking inside of him. The moment was gone as quickly as it came though, and the Uchiha felt like kicking himself for letting it happen in the first place.
"Stop it Kakashi-sensei." He fell back on his earlier words for strength. This seemed to snap the jounin out of it though, and he was back on planet earth, turning to Sasuke with a little smile once again.
"No."
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