Radio Tokyo

Title: “Radio Tokyo”
Author: antilogicgirl
Date Begun: 31 March 2007
Date Finished:
Summary: Two rising radio stars…One producer…One studio…Add crazy call-ins, a mysterious station manager, and one stalker, and you get…Radio Tokyo.

Warnings:

FL--Foul Language

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Prologue: On Air Confrontations

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“So…what do they look like?”

A small muscle twitched under one tired green eye. Sighing, the producer growled into the mic, “Oh, stop calling!” Pressing the red button on the panel to her right, she hung up, rolling her eyes. Haruno Sakura was in no mood at all to deal with the idiotic people calling in to find out what the men on the other side of the glass looked like. Bringing one hand up, she pinched the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. When she opened them, she looked at the clock on the wall. Its digital display glowed red, reading 05:03:34 AM. “One more hour…”

Her ears heard the telltale sound of the commercial tape ending, and out of sheer habit, she looked up, through the ten-foot-wide pane of soundproof glass in front of her. The studio in the other room looked like a padded room in a mental institution. She understood that it was for acoustical reasons, but it still sometimes made her nuts. One of the men began to speak.

“And…we’re back! Hey, everyone. The time is now five o’clock, give or take a couple of minutes…hehe. I hope all you night owls are still up. And those of you just dragging asses out of bed, good morning! Have yourself a cup of coffee, and wake up, damn it!” The cheerful, perky voice of the blonde man was enough to make Sakura want to slit her own throat right about now, as was the merriment in his eyes. How he stayed so happy the entire time they were on air, she had no clue.

The other man opened his mouth, a low and sinfully rich voice coming out from between pale lips. “Now, now…no reason to get yourself too excited, Naruto. Though I do agree. People need to be awake.” One slender hand came up, running a hand through coal-black hair. With a smirk, he continued, “Sleep is for the weak.” Naruto laughed for a moment, giving this other man more opportunity to get a word in edgewise. “Just in case anyone has never heard the show, and is just tuning in…My name is Sasuke. My moron of a co-host is Naruto, our producer, and the woman we both worship, is Sakura. You are listening to Radio Tokyo. We will be taking calls for the next few minutes. Please feel free to give us a ring.”

Sakura raised an eyebrow at the mention of those two worshiping her, and nearly snorted. Either Sasuke was feeling playful, or he wanted something. Naruto spoke again, looking in Sakura’s direction as the switchboard began lighting up like a Christmas tree. “And…who’s our next contestant?” If Sasuke wasn’t feeling mischievous, then it was clear that Naruto was.

Sakura punched the button for Line 6. “Hello. Radio Tokyo.”

“Like…Oh, man! Am I on the air?” A bubbly, disembodied female voice said.

Naruto sniggered quietly, the microphone barely picking it up. Sasuke’s eye-roll was nearly more audible than the groan he made. Sakura smirked. These were usually the calls that were the most entertaining. They were always so enthusiastic. “Yes, darling. You are. Now, what can my two favorite boys do for you?”

“Well…I really wanted to say that I like the show a lot and all…but I have a little problem.”

Sasuke leaned his chin on the flat of his palm as he bent toward his own microphone and adjusted his headphones for what had to be the hundredth time since nine p.m. “Shoot.” They were by no means an advice show, and neither Sasuke nor Naruto were qualified by virtue of academic credentials or personal relationship success to give any such counsel. But, when someone called wanting their opinion on a problem they either tried really hard to help or made absolute fools of the idiot calling, depending upon their mood.

There was a short silence, and then the girl said, “I know this girl…and she’s one of my very best friends. Um…you see…she’s been—oh, God…I can’t believe I’m even saying this—hitting on me. The problem is, I have a boyfriend. What should I do?”

Sasuke scooted himself forward in his leather desk chair. “Well…I guess that depends. Who do you like better?”

The girl sighed. “I’m not sure anymore.”

When Sasuke opened his mouth to speak again, Naruto cut him off. “You need to talk to them.”

“What do you mean?” The girl sounded as if she were confused.

Naruto almost giggled. “Talk to them, and find out if A) you can decide amongst you who is best for you, or B) if they don’t mind sharing.”

“Naruto!” Sakura cried, affronted.

Sasuke made a flapping gesture with his hand. “Ma, ma, Sakura. I think he might have something. He’s an idiot most of the time, but this might just be stupid enough to work. If this girl talks to the boyfriend, and he decides he doesn’t want a bisexual girlfriend, then she’s free to pursue the girl. If the girl is not into sharing, then she can keep the boyfriend. But if they’re both willing to share, then it’s a winning situation all around.” That kind of logic went right over Sakura’s head.

“Yeah. If you put it that way. But what if neither one wants to be with her?” Sakura asked, making an ‘I-told-you-so’ face at her co-worker through the glass. He rolled his eyes, and Naruto looked crestfallen. “You two are hopeless. Look, girlie…before you go ruining your relationship and your friendship with this girl, you need to sit down and really think about both, and make some kind of decision. Otherwise, you’ll be doing half-assed shit for the rest of your life. None of this wishy-washy ‘I don’t know who I want, so I’ll just take both’ bullshit. Got it?”

The girl spoke, sounding a little surer of herself. “Yes, ma’am! Thank you!” There was a click, and Sakura smiled.

Naruto frowned. “No more advice! Call to talk about other things, or I’ll put on some of Sasuke’s Emo music!”

“Screw calls. I’m playing music for the next ten minutes.” Sasuke grumped, his nimble fingers hitting keys on his computer’s keyboard at lightening speed. “The songs will be: Death Cab for Cutie’s Your Heart Is An Empty Room, Radiohead’s Karma Police, Dead Tree by Dir en Grey, and Kiri by Monoral. Catch you in ten, night-owls.” Finally hitting the ‘Enter’ key, the opening chords of Your Heart Is An Empty Room began flooding through the headphones of the small crew. Sasuke yanked his set off and leaned in to the microphone. “Sakura, I’m going to have a smoke.”

Sakura was already turning back to checking her e-mail. “Fine…” she said off-handedly. “Be back in no more than ten!” She yelled after him as he slammed the studio door. As she sifted through requests for conversation topics and correspondence between the station and various clubs, bars, and bands, Sakura heard Naruto.

“Hey, Sakura…”

“Mm?” Sakura asked, having found a strangely titled message from their elusive station manager, Kakashi.

“What’s wrong with Sasuke?”

“I think that girl dumped him,” Sakura mumbled, paging down in the message, trying to find the point in all of the dirty jokes, random anecdotes, and general bullshit. Naruto clicked his tongue into his microphone. For the rest of the current song, and halfway through Karma Police, Naruto was silent. Sakura looked up. He was chewing on the straw from his frappuccino. “What now, Naruto?”

“Nothing…” He murmured, eyes fixed on the screen in front of him. She could see the reflection of movement on the lenses of his square-framed glasses. He was playing solitaire again. Shrugging it off, Sakura went back to the last paragraph of Kakashi’s email, which finally contained the reason for the communication in the first place. Once she had ascertained that he just wanted to have a conference call at eight in the morning with all three of the Radio Tokyo crew, she made a sticky note and stuck it up on the glass next to Naruto’s Spider Man and She-Ra stickers. Just when she was going to delete the correspondence, Naruto threw his hands up in frustration.

“Gyah!” Finally, Sakura thought. The suspense was killing her (well, not really, but Naruto was annoying when he was quiet), and Naruto couldn’t stay quiet for long, which was precisely why being a radio talk-show host was the perfect job for him. Silence did not suit him. He went on. “Damn it! What the hell? It isn’t like a girl’s never dumped him before! What about that German chick last month? He wasn’t all torn up about her.” Naruto’s abuse of his straw worsened, and the end of the green plastic was now nothing more than a deformed, twisted, pathetic lump. “He freaking agreed with me! It can’t be a girl. He’s coming down with a fever or something.”

Sakura reached for her soda. “I’m sure it’s just that Miko dumped him, Naruto. The only time he’s mellow like this is when he’s trying to hide his anger.”

“Whatever. He’s cracked in the head.” The blond fell back in his chair, crossed his arms over the chest of his very rumpled black t-shirt, and proceeded to pout until his best friend and co-host re-entered the room. Pulling his glasses off and dropping them on his keyboard, Naruto rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes. Sakura thought he was starting to look tired. It was a good thing then that there was less than an hour until they were done. Sasuke sat down in his chair, yawned widely, and put his headphones back on. At the end of Kiri, Naruto smacked his keyboard, and they were back on the air.

“So…My beloved, wonderful, talented, and kind producer!” Naruto chirped, a bit too happy for the squinting look on his face. He really needed his glasses… “When’s our next on-location job?”

Sakura groaned. “Naruto…you know how much I hate it when you give away surprises…”

A grunt from Sasuke made her look at him. He was glaring at her. What the fuck is his problem? Maybe Naruto’s right… “Just tell him so he’ll shut the hell up.” Sakura made a mental note to take him down a peg or six once Kiba and Ino came in for the morning show.

“Fine, Mr. Grouchy. We’ll be at Bauhaus (1) next Saturday. The 5-6-7-8’s are going to be playing, and we’ve got exclusive coverage rights. Happy?” Naruto said that he was, because he thought that the drummer was hot. Sakura snorted. “You just think it’s cool that they were in that American movie…the one with all the blood. Shit, what was that called?”

Both men said at the very same time, “Kill Bill, Volume 1.” Naruto continued, “How could you not remember that?”

Rolling her eyes, and letting the sarcasm seep into her voice, Sakura said, “Unlike you two, I don’t like watching fountains of fake blood and gore.”

Sasuke smirked. “No. I think you like chick movies. Am I right? And anime live-actions. What was that last one you raved about? Oh, yes. It was the Teni Puri (2) live action. You are such a dork, Sakura.” All the emotion drained from Sakura’s face. Naruto’s eyes widened.

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This was a bad sign. It was bad enough when he fought with Sasuke on air, but when Sakura did it, the microphones couldn’t handle the decibel load, and once, they’d had to replace both Sakura’s and Sasuke’s mics, as well as Sasuke’s chair because he’d thrown it at the glass, which was thankfully very, very tough. Maybe Kakashi had sprung for the bulletproof stuff? Naruto was scared of what might happen, but was more frightened of what damage would be done to his person if he were caught between the two annoyed parties. Instead of breaking them up like he normally did, he figured that it would be best if he just sat back and tried to stay out of the line of fire.

Sakura’s voice was calm as she said, “Do I need to get started on your movie preferences, Sasuke?”

“Bite me, Haruno.” Naruto bit his own lips. Sasuke only ever called her by her last name if he was on the very edge.

“You want me to come in there, Sasuke? I’ll rip you a new asshole, you stiff-shirted little—“

Sasuke started to laugh as he turned his chair to face the glass. The microphone picked up his words just fine, though. “Ma, I’ve heard all that before. You know, a young lady like yourself shouldn’t look like that. You’ll get wrinkles.”

To avert an on-air shouting match, Naruto feverishly punched buttons as he threw his glasses back on. “And…now, a word from our sponsors!” As soon as the commercial tape started rolling, he hit the button that would disable the microphones from on-air broadcast. “Hey, Sakura, can you go and take a walk? I’m going to talk to Sasuke.”

Sakura shot an evil glare at the black-haired man before pulling her headphones from her ears. “Fine. You…” Sakura said, pointing to Sasuke, “…I’ll deal with you later.” Sasuke just laughed and gave her the finger. When she was gone from the room, Naruto smacked the back of Sasuke’s head. “What the fuck is your problem? Are you trying to initiate World War Three or something?” Sasuke sat back in his chair and spun around to face Naruto. He didn’t say a damned word. “Is this about Miko?”

Sasuke’s eyes looked up at the ceiling. “Fuck Miko. This has nothing to do with her.”

“Is it anything that Sakura did? Because if it isn’t, then you need to cut that shit out. You’re taking out whatever the hell it is on her, and it’s pissing me the fuck off.” He was starting to get a headache from this. There were times when he just wished his two co-workers would just…stop. They were so angry at each other all of the time!

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura had known one another since they were in college. They were all in the same Mass Communications classes, and to the surprise of the entire department, had graduated first, second and third (Sakura, then Sasuke, then Naruto) in their class. The instant they walked out of the graduation ceremony, they were met by a very strange man. Hatake Kakashi offered them a job on the spot. He’d heard them on the college’s radio station, and liked their energy and roughness.

Their dynamic was a strange one. They were inseparable, but it was Naruto and Sasuke that were best friends. Sakura had a love-hate relationship with Sasuke, but it leaned more toward hate. She got along well with Naruto, since she said he was like the brother she never had. So it made for interesting conversation, and some rather interesting character debate. And because of that, people kept listening to them until the wee hours of the morning. But what Naruto never understood what why Sakura had started hanging around with them in the first place. It wasn’t because she had a crush on either of them. It couldn’t be that. Maybe she just recognized talent when she saw it and decided to stick with them. That attitude could have turned into the friendship they had now.

Naruto’s eyebrow twitched. He looked at Sasuke, who was just staring blankly at him. The pale bastard said calmly, “It isn’t anything Sakura has done. It’s me. Now shut the hell up.” Whatever the hell that meant, Naruto had no idea, but the ‘shut the hell up’ just told him he wasn’t going to get anything more out of Sasuke. Sighing, he leaned back in his chair. “Don’t strain your brain, idiot.”

“I’m not an idiot! Would you cut it out with that shit? You know damned well that I’m just as smart as you are. It isn’t like I can’t figure things out.” Naruto just tuned out the grumpy response Sasuke made, and returned to his brooding until Sakura got back, and the commercial ended. She had perfect timing for that sort of thing. Returning to his cheerful voice, Naruto said, “Well, everyone, we’re back. I hope you’re having a good morning so far. It should be better than mine! I’m all out of caffeine! This is Naruto, with Sasuke and Sakura. You’re listening to Radio Tokyo, and we’ve got…fifteen minutes until Kiba and Ino come in to give you the Rude Awakening. I hope you’re ready for some heavy metal, and even heavier conversation. Those guys are always like that.”

He watched Sasuke and Sakura for the remainder of the show, neither one wanting to look the other in the eyes. Naruto sighed. He was going to have to put a stop to that. And soon.

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Notes.
1) Bauhaus is a real bar, though I have no pictures of the inside. It is a western-style pub, and they have bands pretty often.
2) Teni Puri is another name for the anime Prince of Tennis.

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A/N: Thanks for reading. This was really only the little tease to get you to read more of it later. Hehe. Review?