Historically Accurate Misinformation Regarding Gai
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Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult
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1
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1,065
Reviews:
4
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0
Currently Reading:
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Category:
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,065
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Historically Accurate Misinformation Regarding Gai
Historically Accurate Misinformation Regarding Gai Maito:
Category: One-Shot
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13 for a bit of language
Pairing: KakaGai
Notes: Longest title I’ve ever come up with for what should be a relatively concise one-shot. The correct title is Historically Accurate Misinformation Regarding Gai Maito. AFF cut me off after Gai. They can't handle me. This is what I came up with while searching for inspiration for my other KakaGai story.
***
Gai’s apartment is nicer than most of his fellow college students He doesn’t say it to brag; he’s just seen most of them for himself and is more than capable of passing judgment. They aren’t exactly wealthy and their abodes reflect their finances. Genma’s has a hole in the wall the size of a cantaloupe on steroids, Kurenai’s sink gurgles and spits up whenever she uses the hot water, and Iruka has something strange living in his bathtub. Nothing’s wrong with Asuma’s, although it smells too much like stale ashes to be welcoming.
“Some people would argue that the smell of curry is worse than cigarette smoke,” Kakashi says as he sets the bag of Chinese take-out on the table. “Stronger at the onset, lingers just as long.”
“Some people, huh?” Gai questions with his brown-black eyes brows raised. He knows exactly who some people references. Kakashi has a way with words that Gai doesn’t approve of. “You just like to argue.”
Kakashi hums cordially, as if there had been no accusation at all, and begins taking the numerous containers out of the bag, clustering them in the middle. “I argue,” Kakashi elaborates while admiring the centerpiece of white cardboard cartons and red Chinese writing that neither of them can read, “because I know I’ll win.”
Gai scoffs in what he hope passes for a friendly manner, because Kakashi doesn’t seem to care that he hit a nerve. Gai’s not the biggest fan of losing. “You don’t always win. Now give me my curried chicken.”
“Far left,” Kakashi replies coolly. Kakashi doesn’t seem to care that Gai is walking on eggshells, has been for the past few weeks. There’s always been a chill about him that makes Gai unsure as to whether or not he feels much of anything, but it’s been strangely pronounced lately. Playing dumb isn’t working anymore. Considering that it’s his fault that Gai’s been having a rough time, Kakashi ought to have said something along the lines of an apology. Then again, he probably wouldn’t believe an apology out of that mouth.
Out of the manners his Nanna taught him, he closes his hand around the chopsticks and opens his mouth to thank him, only to end up letting out a soft grunt as his efforts to actually take them are thwarted by a tug on Kakashi’s end. It's a mild tug, but it catches him by surprise.
“And yes,” he says in all seriousness, grey eyes locked on target. “I do.”
Gai does his best not to dry swallow the phantom spit in his incredibly dried-out mouth. He ducks his head as quickly as he can without looking like he’s hiding something, very aware that the best tactic would have been a verbal response but unable to summon even a pithy, “no you’re not.” That’s what he would have said had his throat not been contracting painfully. Now Kakashi will watch him for an opening; he can see it in the slight tilt of his head.
As far as Gai can recall, Kakashi’s only really out and out laughed three times, all three of them have been at something Gai said that he found particularly hilarious. Kakashi’s happiest when stripping someone down to the point of humiliation. He thinks its funny making people uncomfortable. He certainly doesn’t give a damn about the sick feeling skittering through Gai’s belly as Kakashi sinks into the chair across the table, the blue material catching on the bar of the chair and sliding right up his side.
The analytical eyes waiting to meet his face instead of a mop of darker than chocolate hair aren’t helping either.
“When’s Genma getting here?” Gai asks to get away from the topic Kakashi probably isn’t addressing; he just feels way too close, having never gotten away. With a little bit more analysis, Kakashi could figure it out.
Kakashi shrugs. “I told him to be here fifteen minutes ago, so he should be here soon. That extra egg roll is for him if he makes it within the next ten minutes. Otherwise it’s mine.”
“Don’t eat his egg roll, Kakashi,” Gai chides out of habit. Kakashi and “don’t” go hand in hand. Don’t say things like that, don’t call me that, don’t be such an ass. His grandmother would smack him if she heard that last one out of his mouth.
“Why, you want Genma’s egg roll?”
Like most of the things Kakashi said, this one takes a while to sink in. Gai wasn’t raised on innuendo. He was raised on the weekly confessions of the Catholic Church and Nanna’s rosary beads. Covering up the truth behind all of that sarcasm and double meaning doesn’t come naturally to him, so he leaves it out. Unfortunately, Kakashi never does.
When it does sink in, Gai curls his lips back in revulsion. At the same time, his stomach drops to his feet. The first is out of habit, the second out of nerves. Gai doesn’t talk about sex, especially Kakashi’s variety of sex. “Don’t be a pervert, Kakashi.” Don’t make this more uncomfortable than you already have.
Kakashi doesn’t grin so much as he smirks, albeit, softly. Two weeks ago Gai found out that Kakashi has that very same softness in his smile when he’s about to kiss someone, but that was more information than he ever wanted to know. “I’m thinking you might want to hide Godzilla before he gets here. It’s liable to scare the fuck out of him.”
Gai narrows his eyes. "Godzilla," as Kakashi so lovingly nicknamed it, is the large wooden cross standing in the corner of the living room. Standing at about 5 ½ feet tall, the cross is an inheritance from his Nanna, who insisted he take God with him to college as protection against sin. Kakashi told him that he should make a grandfather clock out of it.
Turns out you shouldn’t debate religion with Kakashi. He tears it apart like he tears people about. Like he tore Gai apart.
“Stop calling it that. That sacrilegious.”
“Sorry,” he says with that smirk that smacks of insincerity. Kakashi never minds teasing him and definitely doesn’t mind committing sacrilege. As far as Kakashi is concerned, none of the sinful things he does are sacrilege. He probably doesn’t believe in the concept anymore than he believes in God. “I just doubt he’s ever seen a Godzilla grandfather clock cross before.”
If only Gai had a sense of humor about his religion. He’d tried it at some point, but Jesus jokes just weren’t funny. Neither were innuendos about Catholic goodies. Rosaries or cocks, take your pick.
Couldn’t he have just said knick-knacks?
“Leave my clock alone,” Gai snapped suddenly, tired of being made fun of and tired of waiting for Kakashi to say something about it. Because Kakashi doesn’t care that he kissed him two weeks ago, doesn’t care about the fact that Gai is confused, and doesn’t care that with every passing second he’s coming to realize that yes, the cross does look like a clock he potentially stole it from the Pope himself.
Kakashi’s head jerks as if he’s been struck, his expression somewhere between stunned and approving. “Sorry,” he says again, this time with curiosity. Still no sincerity. He’s just intrigued because he made Gai angry. It doesn’t happen often.
Gai just shrugs and gives him a big smile because he knows Kakashi hates it. “It’s fine, Kakashi. Let’s just work on the project. We don’t need to wait for Genma.”
Kakashi shrugs right back. Gai knew it would happen, so he refrains from kicking something. Specifically Kakashi.
Really, even if he does notice that Gai is upset and actually care, Kakashi has no idea it’s not because he hated the kiss. He enjoyed every second of it. And he wants to throttle the bastard for making him question everything he’s believed in since he was six.
Because he’s going to hell now.
And he still wants Kakashi to kiss him again.
Fin
Category: One-Shot
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13 for a bit of language
Pairing: KakaGai
Notes: Longest title I’ve ever come up with for what should be a relatively concise one-shot. The correct title is Historically Accurate Misinformation Regarding Gai Maito. AFF cut me off after Gai. They can't handle me. This is what I came up with while searching for inspiration for my other KakaGai story.
***
Gai’s apartment is nicer than most of his fellow college students He doesn’t say it to brag; he’s just seen most of them for himself and is more than capable of passing judgment. They aren’t exactly wealthy and their abodes reflect their finances. Genma’s has a hole in the wall the size of a cantaloupe on steroids, Kurenai’s sink gurgles and spits up whenever she uses the hot water, and Iruka has something strange living in his bathtub. Nothing’s wrong with Asuma’s, although it smells too much like stale ashes to be welcoming.
“Some people would argue that the smell of curry is worse than cigarette smoke,” Kakashi says as he sets the bag of Chinese take-out on the table. “Stronger at the onset, lingers just as long.”
“Some people, huh?” Gai questions with his brown-black eyes brows raised. He knows exactly who some people references. Kakashi has a way with words that Gai doesn’t approve of. “You just like to argue.”
Kakashi hums cordially, as if there had been no accusation at all, and begins taking the numerous containers out of the bag, clustering them in the middle. “I argue,” Kakashi elaborates while admiring the centerpiece of white cardboard cartons and red Chinese writing that neither of them can read, “because I know I’ll win.”
Gai scoffs in what he hope passes for a friendly manner, because Kakashi doesn’t seem to care that he hit a nerve. Gai’s not the biggest fan of losing. “You don’t always win. Now give me my curried chicken.”
“Far left,” Kakashi replies coolly. Kakashi doesn’t seem to care that Gai is walking on eggshells, has been for the past few weeks. There’s always been a chill about him that makes Gai unsure as to whether or not he feels much of anything, but it’s been strangely pronounced lately. Playing dumb isn’t working anymore. Considering that it’s his fault that Gai’s been having a rough time, Kakashi ought to have said something along the lines of an apology. Then again, he probably wouldn’t believe an apology out of that mouth.
Out of the manners his Nanna taught him, he closes his hand around the chopsticks and opens his mouth to thank him, only to end up letting out a soft grunt as his efforts to actually take them are thwarted by a tug on Kakashi’s end. It's a mild tug, but it catches him by surprise.
“And yes,” he says in all seriousness, grey eyes locked on target. “I do.”
Gai does his best not to dry swallow the phantom spit in his incredibly dried-out mouth. He ducks his head as quickly as he can without looking like he’s hiding something, very aware that the best tactic would have been a verbal response but unable to summon even a pithy, “no you’re not.” That’s what he would have said had his throat not been contracting painfully. Now Kakashi will watch him for an opening; he can see it in the slight tilt of his head.
As far as Gai can recall, Kakashi’s only really out and out laughed three times, all three of them have been at something Gai said that he found particularly hilarious. Kakashi’s happiest when stripping someone down to the point of humiliation. He thinks its funny making people uncomfortable. He certainly doesn’t give a damn about the sick feeling skittering through Gai’s belly as Kakashi sinks into the chair across the table, the blue material catching on the bar of the chair and sliding right up his side.
The analytical eyes waiting to meet his face instead of a mop of darker than chocolate hair aren’t helping either.
“When’s Genma getting here?” Gai asks to get away from the topic Kakashi probably isn’t addressing; he just feels way too close, having never gotten away. With a little bit more analysis, Kakashi could figure it out.
Kakashi shrugs. “I told him to be here fifteen minutes ago, so he should be here soon. That extra egg roll is for him if he makes it within the next ten minutes. Otherwise it’s mine.”
“Don’t eat his egg roll, Kakashi,” Gai chides out of habit. Kakashi and “don’t” go hand in hand. Don’t say things like that, don’t call me that, don’t be such an ass. His grandmother would smack him if she heard that last one out of his mouth.
“Why, you want Genma’s egg roll?”
Like most of the things Kakashi said, this one takes a while to sink in. Gai wasn’t raised on innuendo. He was raised on the weekly confessions of the Catholic Church and Nanna’s rosary beads. Covering up the truth behind all of that sarcasm and double meaning doesn’t come naturally to him, so he leaves it out. Unfortunately, Kakashi never does.
When it does sink in, Gai curls his lips back in revulsion. At the same time, his stomach drops to his feet. The first is out of habit, the second out of nerves. Gai doesn’t talk about sex, especially Kakashi’s variety of sex. “Don’t be a pervert, Kakashi.” Don’t make this more uncomfortable than you already have.
Kakashi doesn’t grin so much as he smirks, albeit, softly. Two weeks ago Gai found out that Kakashi has that very same softness in his smile when he’s about to kiss someone, but that was more information than he ever wanted to know. “I’m thinking you might want to hide Godzilla before he gets here. It’s liable to scare the fuck out of him.”
Gai narrows his eyes. "Godzilla," as Kakashi so lovingly nicknamed it, is the large wooden cross standing in the corner of the living room. Standing at about 5 ½ feet tall, the cross is an inheritance from his Nanna, who insisted he take God with him to college as protection against sin. Kakashi told him that he should make a grandfather clock out of it.
Turns out you shouldn’t debate religion with Kakashi. He tears it apart like he tears people about. Like he tore Gai apart.
“Stop calling it that. That sacrilegious.”
“Sorry,” he says with that smirk that smacks of insincerity. Kakashi never minds teasing him and definitely doesn’t mind committing sacrilege. As far as Kakashi is concerned, none of the sinful things he does are sacrilege. He probably doesn’t believe in the concept anymore than he believes in God. “I just doubt he’s ever seen a Godzilla grandfather clock cross before.”
If only Gai had a sense of humor about his religion. He’d tried it at some point, but Jesus jokes just weren’t funny. Neither were innuendos about Catholic goodies. Rosaries or cocks, take your pick.
Couldn’t he have just said knick-knacks?
“Leave my clock alone,” Gai snapped suddenly, tired of being made fun of and tired of waiting for Kakashi to say something about it. Because Kakashi doesn’t care that he kissed him two weeks ago, doesn’t care about the fact that Gai is confused, and doesn’t care that with every passing second he’s coming to realize that yes, the cross does look like a clock he potentially stole it from the Pope himself.
Kakashi’s head jerks as if he’s been struck, his expression somewhere between stunned and approving. “Sorry,” he says again, this time with curiosity. Still no sincerity. He’s just intrigued because he made Gai angry. It doesn’t happen often.
Gai just shrugs and gives him a big smile because he knows Kakashi hates it. “It’s fine, Kakashi. Let’s just work on the project. We don’t need to wait for Genma.”
Kakashi shrugs right back. Gai knew it would happen, so he refrains from kicking something. Specifically Kakashi.
Really, even if he does notice that Gai is upset and actually care, Kakashi has no idea it’s not because he hated the kiss. He enjoyed every second of it. And he wants to throttle the bastard for making him question everything he’s believed in since he was six.
Because he’s going to hell now.
And he still wants Kakashi to kiss him again.
Fin