Flame
folder
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,023
Reviews:
21
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,023
Reviews:
21
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Flame
Author’s Note Ok, so this is an old story that’s been sitting in my computer collection dust for two or three months… Originally it was going to be a multi-chapter fic, and it was supposed to be funny. However, I sort of lost my inspiration for it (and I suck at humor) thus it just ended up setting in my computer with all my other half-ass stories. Anyway, I was talking to Miss Mayumi about it and we both agreed that it might make a good one shot… so, I’m posting it. Sasuke is 18. Itachi is 23.
Important Warning: The content of this story is not meant to offend anyone. I have a twisted sense of humor, so some of this stuff might be odd. As far as nitpicking the “reviews” goes, those are generalized statements; they are NOT my personal opinion. For example: I have no problem with people who overuse “OMG” when they review –in fact, I tend to that myself! ^^;
Summary: Sasuke is a writer who posts stories online, but what happens when he receives a flame? He doesn’t seem to take it very well, but maybe Itachi can help make it better?
Additional Disclaimer: Just to be on the safe side, I don’t own AFF’s layout. This isn't Beta'd, but I did try to go back and catch the mistakes...
Flame
Written By:Crimson2006
Not Beta’d
Sasuke finished typing the last line and then hit the “post” button. There, it was done. He’d worked his ass off, but the next chapter of his story was finally complete. Now all he had to do was sit back and wait for the reviews to come in.
Uchiha Sasuke, who had been posting stories online for a year and a half now, was very well aware of how the system worked. Start a story, rack up the reviews, leave the people hanging on for as long as possible, and then post the next chapter the following Monday at a quarter past seven. Why Monday night, near seven o’clock you might ask? Well, that was when most people were online of course. Monday was just one of those days when after a hard days work, people wanted to sit down and read something good. And as everyone knew, Sasuke’s stories were the best.
Over 10,000 hits, 876 reviews and he’s just posted lucky chapter nine.
What was so lucky about chapter number nine? Well, it was the set up for the ‘mock’ chapter. That’s right, Sasuke always left number nine a cliffy and in two weeks followed it up with an Author’s Note instead of an actual chapter. Sure it seemed like a cruel thing to do –it probably was– but in sucked the people in; made them even more desperate then before. Plus it gave him an extra two weeks to figure out what the hell he was going to come up with next.
Sasuke prided himself on originality. That was one of the reasons that his work was so popular, not to mention that his writing skills could blow the top authors of the literati world, out of the water. In fact, he had a good mind to believe that if he wrote 10 consecutive books, he’d dominate the bestseller list. Yes, Sasuke was full of himself and it didn’t help that everyone adored his work. The reviews that they sent him were long and lengthy, pointing out all the best lines and scenes; praising him for a job well done. If the chapter was funny, then everyone laughed. If it was hot, sweaty and sex filled, then everyone had a wet seat after reading it and words such as ‘god that was the hottest thing I’ve ever read’ and ‘I’m so up for a threesome’ flooded his mail box.
Yes, Mr. Uchiha Sasuke knew he was hot shit and the best part about posting online was that nobody knew his identity. They all liked his work—even when all he was to them was a faceless penname. It was just further proof that he was perfect; that it wasn’t just his name that scored all the praise, but rather his talent.
Looking up to his mail box he noticed that he’d already accumulated 15 reviews. God, he had posted, what…like seven minutes ago. That had to be a new record for him. Clicking on them he read each one to himself before moving on to the next. By the time he got down to review number seven, he recognized the text, and linked it to a classmate of his. Yes, Sasuke knew a lot of the people who wrote him reviews; even though they didn’t know it was him they were writing to. The whole thing was ironic in so many ways. Most people would never think of him as the type to post stuff online –at least not on an explicit site like he did– but he could easily tell who was sending him a review their by penname and the content.
Body Review from: PaleEyesCanSeeYou
What a masterpiece! I would have never seen that twist of events coming. Each time I read a new chapter, I feel like I’ve fallen a little more into the dark world you’ve created. You must update this soon. Please and thank you! ^^
Pale Eyes? Please and thank you? Yeah, Sasuke knew that only Neji would write something like that. Moving his mouse down, he clicked on the next one.
Body Review from: …
Cliffhangers, Troublesome…I like it. Hurry up with more…
Short, simple and to the point, plus if he factored in that the person was too lazy to post a name, then that review had to be from Shikamaru. Only he would use the word ‘Troublesome’ in such a way that it was actually a complement.
Body Review from: Coffin_of_Death
Good chapter, I want to read more! Update before I kill you.
That one was obviously Gaara.
Sasuke sighed and decided that he’d go make himself a snack. Most of the people who reviewed right away were the speed readers and he was up to reading a review that was a little less stiff. The girls that reviewed always did the whole ‘OMG’ thing, which was annoying, but at least they didn’t have manners, they wrote in complete sentences –sometimes– and death threats were reduced to ‘Have my baby’ and ‘I think I’m in love.’ These honestly cracked Sasuke up, especially since his penname implied that he was a female. Not that he would ever admit that comical piece of information out loud. It was just funny how people would said the craziest things to get him to update, and he was looking for that sort of random flavor right about now. But those reviews would take another fifteen minutes or so to come about.
Padding downstairs Sasuke walked past the living, his eyes catching a glimpse of his brother, who was busy working on a term paper. “Hey Aniki,” he mumbled, giving a stiff wave. Not waiting for a response Sasuke continued on his way to the kitchen. After looking in the fridge and finding nothing of interest, he settled on a bag of popcorn and threw it in the microwave. Watching the numbers roll down –he didn’t want his snack didn’t burn, because god knew that damn popcorn button always over cooked it– Sasuke strummed his fingers over the counter until a faint shuffling sound caught his attention. “What?” he asked, unnerved by the feeling of Itachi’s eyes on him.
The elder didn’t answer with words, but instead opted slithered across the room, his white socks sliding over the tile floor as he were floating. Suddenly, two arms were wrapped around Sasuke’s body and the youth found himself trapped between the counter and Itachi. “Caught up in your stories again, hum Otouto? Perhaps I could give you some inspiration.”
Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Hn, offer something in another three weeks or so. I already wrote the chapter out and posted it.”
“That was dirty.” Itachi mumbled, letting go of Sasuke to snag the fresh bag of popcorn out of the microwave. Without another care, he sauntered out of the kitchen, leaving behind a pissed off teenager to brood by himself. The raven growled, why the hell did his brother have to be such an ass? He always ran off with his food! Opting to fix something else –that was the last bag of popcorn– he rummaged through the cabinets until he found a can of Hot Wasabi peas in the back. Settling for that snack, Sasuke pulled out a diet coke and made his way back into the living room.
“The school is putting on some festival thing this weekend, something about cherry blossoms and all that crap. Kakashi sensei wants to know if you’re going to volunteer.” The youth deadpanned. He vaguely took notice that Itachi was once again staring at him like he was a big piece of meat— his Aniki the hungry predator. “Don’t look at me like that Tachi. I’m not up to it tonight,” he informed, fiddling with the tab on his soda can. His nail slipping beneath the little piece of metal, pulling it up and then letting it snap back with a ‘twang.’
His older brother glared but turned back to his term paper. “Yes, I’ll volunteer.” He retorted before shooing Sasuke away with his hand.” If you’re not in the mood to play, then I don’t have any time for you.”
“Gee, I feel so loved.” Sasuke scoffed and stormed back upstairs. He hated when Itachi got all bitchy about sex.
They’d agreed a while back to start seeing other people, not because it was taboo for them to be fucking each other, but rather the youngest heir just wasn’t all that interested in his Aniki anymore. Or so he tried to tell himself.
Opening up the bedroom door, he filed into the messy room and heedlessly kicked his way through the dirty clothes that had been lying on the floor, for god knew how long. It was getting late out and the faint trickle of moonlight that was emitted into the room, lit up the posters on his wall, making Marilyn Mason and Slipknot look even more sinister then before. Switching on his desk lamp, Sasuke took a seat in his leather swivel chair, popped open the can of Wasabi peas and his coke, and jump started his computer from its ‘sleep mode.’ It was no surprise when he had 35 reviews waiting for him. Picking a random one from the middle, the raven gave it a click and shook his head in disgust when he realized who had sent it.
Body Review from: MyLifeIsBubblegum
OMG!!!!! OMG!!!! AND AGAIN…OMG!!!! I can’t believe that you ended the chapter that way! NO!!!!!! I’ll never survive the two weeks that it’s going to take you to post the next one! PLEASE I’m begging you, update soon! Your story is the best one on here and I’ll die if you make me wait…
Forever yours, Pink ^^
“Tsk,” Sasuke mumbled. Sakura always left a shit load of ‘OMG’s.’ You’d think that was the only word that she could use to complement her surprise. No ‘wow’s’ or ‘Damn I didn’t see that one coming.’ Not even a ‘WOOT,’ just the same three words over and over again. Monotonous, Sasuke thought to himself. I wonder if she’s obsessive-compulsive or something, because that would explain her constant need to ask me out. Clicking on another review, he hoped that this one had more flavor.
Body Review from: Sweet N’ Shy
Ah, your new chapter was very nice. I like how you left it open, cliffhangers are always a favorite of mine. I wonder if Michael is going to commit or if he’ll back out at the last moment. I do hope that they get together. Please update soon. XD
Body Review From: There’s Only One Green Bean
What a youthful chapter! Good work my friend. Let the fire of youth light your inspiration and help you update soon! ^_^
Body Review from: Hot_for_The_Uchiha
HOLY SHIT! THAT’S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG TO END IT THERE, LIKE THAT!!!! DAMN YOU!
UPDATE SOON! XDDDDDDDD
Sasuke cringed at the last one, which he knew was from Ino. He swore, just because she was blonde, wasn’t a good excuse to explain why she left the damn CAPS lock button on all the time. And why the hell was she adding so many o’s? Brushing it off, Sasuke decided to read one more before he started on his homework. Scanning the page, he was about to pick one near the bottom, when the little ‘click’ sound issued and he noticed that he’d just gotten another review.
“Ah, what the hell,” he smirked, clicking on the one he’d just received. He was a little surprised when a name that he wasn’t familiar with, popped up.
Body Review from: Red_Jutsu
Ah, well… I seen that this story had a lot of reviews and the summary looked pretty good, so I decided to read it. I must say that you have an original idea, but the plot is horrible.
Sasuke instantly stopped reading. His story was horrible? No way. Carefully he re-read the line and found that he hadn’t miss interpreted the statement. Dark brows crinkled down in a frown, and he scrolled down to take in the rest of the long review, very much expecting to see the words ‘I was only joking’ written somewhere along the line.
Honestly, I was expecting to read something spectacular, and you really left me disappointed. Your chapters are average length, but you could make them longer and your vocabulary is a little smart. I get the impression that you’re an arrogant asshole who likes to impress people by using big words. I wonder if that’s because you’re trying to compensate for something. And yes, I was referring to your dick. Nice try with the girly penname, but your sex scenes are a dead give away to your gender.
Let’s see, ah…Your other problem is that you over use a lot of the words. So trying picking up a thesaurus sometime, it might help.
On a positive note, I do like your style. But like I said before, the content just sucks. You have zero talent when it comes to balancing the emotions in this story. You add a lot of suspense, but the rest is just crap. The characters seem too distant as well. It makes their relationship seem weak and pointless. And seeing as you’ve based so much of your story on them; I’d think that you’d want to make their interactions meaningful. Anyway, keep writing, you seem like you ‘might’ have ‘some’ potential. Just keep working on it…
Out of the year and a half that Sasuke had been posting, he had never read something as shitty as this. The young Uchiha could feel his blood start to boil. Whoever Red_Jutsu was, they had just made a big mistake by sending him that message. What kind of asshole wrote a review like that? What hell was their problem? And his cock…FUCK THAT, nobody talked about his eight inch perfect piece of machinery like that. Whoever wrote that review was going down! Clicking on to the site, Sasuke pressed the review button on his story and skimmed down…. Damn, the ass-hole didn’t even leave an e-mail address. Clicking on Red_Jutsu’s penname, loaded up the reviewer’s homepage and Sasuke skimmed the contents. The guy was fairly new, only having joined three months ago. His birthday wasn’t listed, nor his age. There was no profile save for a URL address and he didn’t have any stories posted. Deciding to click on the link, Sasuke waited patiently for the next page to load.
“Otouto,” Itachi called out as he opened the bedroom door, not bothering to knock.
“Not now Aniki!” He hissed, impatiently tapping his foot. Why of all times, did his computer have to be slow tonight?
The elder raised a brow. Sasuke was always in a good mood after he posted a new chapter, so why was he being so uptight? Itachi suddenly smirked as he ingeniously put two and two together. “Did someone flame you?”
“I don’t remember inviting you into my room. Get out!”
“They did… And you’re moping about it, how cute.”
“Get Out!” Sasuke repeated a little bit firmer, he let out a growl when the ‘time out’ page popped up. Anxiously he hit the ‘refresh’ button.
“What did they say?”
The younger heir whipped his head around to instantly be greeted by Itachi’s face. When had his brother gotten so close? “Didn’t I tell you to get the FUCK out of my room?
Itachi frowned and reached over; flipping the computer button off right as the page came up. “I’m the adult, you’re the child… Watch your mouth Sasuke!”
Forgetting his resolve from before –and needing an outlet to vent– Sasuke in all his glorious rage, leaned in and attached his mouth to his Aniki’s. Wasting no time he pushed his tongue in between the elder’s lips, drinking up the his brother’s flavor as he savagely violated the familiar threshold, hunger, want, and anger more then evident. Itachi in turn, reciprocated the kiss. His own tongue coaxing Sasuke’s into duel for dominance –which for once– he allowed his Otouto to win. It wasn’t often that Sasuke initiated their get-together’s these days and he really wanted to fuck the boy, so perhaps flexibility was in order. It had felt like forever since he’d been inside the tight heat of his little brother, since he’d slid his cock in and out of that perfect, puckered hole. God, just thinking about it was making him hard. Removing his hand away from the computer button, Itachi cupped his brother’s face, their bodies moving just slightly closer as he deepened their kiss.
After several long, drawn out, pleasurable minutes, both boys parted slightly in seek of oxygen; their forehead pressed together with their eyes closed. Sasuke knew that it was too late to turn back now, not that he wanted to this time. The rage and anger brought about by that stupid review was still running through his mind like a mantra and he wanted to forget about it. He needed his brother to alleviate the mounting pressure so that he could think clearly. There was a high possibility that the person who reviewed was someone that he knew, and with a clear mind, he could sit down and figure it out.
And once he knew…oh, there would be hell to pay.
“Sasuke?” Itachi whispered, his crimson eyes opening to stare at the boy. For a second, he’d almost thought that his brother had fallen asleep, if not for the pissed expression adorning the youth’s visage.
The said boy opened his eyes and was greeted by the lustful stare of his older brother. “What Aniki?” His tone indifferent, calm and collected. He’d put up one of his famous Uchiha masks and he wasn’t going to let his disposition show again.
“I want to kiss you…”
“No,” Sasuke murmured, his face tilting to the side, his nose lightly grazing Itachi’s cheek until he reached the man’s ear. ”Just fuck me.”
At first Itachi had been left frowning, he didn’t like being rejected. Currently, he was both hard and horney which wasn’t a good combination; but then Sasuke had whispered that second part in his ear and the elder swore that he’d never been more turned on, then he was at that exact moment. Hearing his Otouto say that was like a dream come true; it had been too long –so long that he couldn’t even remember the last time Sasuke was that blunt about the matter– and he would not let the situation go to waste. Pulling the boy up out of the chair, Itachi practically threw him the few feet that separated the desk from the bed. Sasuke didn’t fight the momentum, nor did he struggle against the force of gravity when the back of his knees bumped against his king size bed. Instead, he unceremoniously fell on the soft mattress, his cock already hard with anticipation.
In a mere heart-beat, Itachi was looming over him, the elder’s clothes already removed as his skillful hands worked to do the same thing to Sasuke.
“Itachi,” Sasuke moaned, when he felt the cool air of night, brush against his hardened member. The said man just smirked and leaned in, darting his tongue out over the tip of Sasuke’s cock, delighting in the pre-cum that lingered there. For a moment he simply savored in the taste—let the flavor roll about on his palate before swallowing the tart substance. As delicious as sucking his brother’s cock was, Itachi wanted to cut straight to the action.
Urging Sasuke to move up on the bed, the elder was about to lean over and snag the bottle of lube that was always ‘conveniently’ kept on the nightstand, when a pale hand intercepted his.
“No Aniki, just fuck me.”
No foreplay, no lube, and if he was guessing right, no preparation? If Itachi knew that a simple Flame would make his brother such a dirty whore, he would have started sending them himself.” Alright Otouto, if you want me to make it hurt…” Itachi’s voice thinned as he positioned himself at his brother’s entrance, “Then I’ll make it hurt.” Without further warning, Itachi rammed his thick, hardened length inside Sasuke. Feeling the boy tear slightly, a warm rush of blood wrapped around his pulsating member.
Sasuke cried out; his insides burning with a sharp sense of pain. The feeling of being filled was almost excruciating, yet the younger raven allowed no time for himself to adjust as his legs worked their way around his brother’s waist, demanding that he move. ”Fuck me!”
Itachi obliged, pulling his blood swathed cock out of Sasuke before relentlessly pounding back into him. The teenager in turn, cried out in agony. His body filled with a rampant pain that couldn’t be matched by any other tangible sensation. It was like his ass was on fire. He could feel the sticky essence of blood that covered Itachi’s length as his sibling pulled in and out of him with animalistic type motions; it hurt so much and yet he wanted more.
“Harder!” Sasuke rasped, enjoying the pain and then drifting into an even greater high as Itachi shifted slightly to hit his prostate. Everything seemed to wash away as Sasuke delighted in the warm sensation that was coiling in the pit of his loins, and he called out another command. “Touch me!”
The elder Uchiha again gave into the request; his hand fisting the weeping member, stroking the boy to each thrust. He absent-mindedly wondered if he should be amused by his brother’s eagerness, or put-off by Sasuke’s demanding behavior. Either way he should have been sated with the fact that he was getting some, but maybe he needed to remind his little brother who was Uke and who was Seme.
Just a few strokes away from release, Sasuke grunted in agitation when Itachi stopped all movement. “Fucking, asshole,” he seethed. But before he had a chance to further vocalize his inquires as to what the fuck his brother’s problem was—Itachi’s length pulled out of him, and two strong hands wrapped painfully around his hipbone, flipping him over. Suddenly he could feel his brother inside of him once again and the younger raven grimaced when he realized the position he was in. On his hands and knees like a fucking bitch! Sasuke hated it when Itachi took him this way, but he supposed that he deserved it. The youth knew he’d been a bit too aggressive and between Itachi’s pride and Uke issues –his brother would rather go without sex, then ever be Uke– he had nobody but himself to blame for the humiliating position he was in.
“Who owns your ass?” Itachi baited, shifting again to brush against Sasuke’s prostate.
Withering in bliss, the youth shook his head and moaned out a faint, “You do.”
Not satisfied by the weak response, the elder slapped his bother’s ass-cheek, thrusting harder into that special spot, emitting a very long moan from his Otouto.
“Ahhhhh! YOU DO, ITACHI!” he cried, his mewls increasing as his brother reached around and started stroking him. It didn’t take long, but Sasuke was the first one to cum. His white seed shooting out in ribbon’s, coating his brother’s hand and the black silk sheets below. The constriction of Sasuke’s anal muscles –the way they clamped down, the warm, tight heat doubling against that already vice-like grip– was just too much and three thrusts later, Itachi was releasing himself into Sasuke’s ass.
Collapsing on top of his little brother, Itachi closed his eyes and was about to fall asleep, when Sasuke’s muffled voice coaxed him back to reality. “I’m sorry Otouto; I didn’t quite catch that…you can’t breathe?” Another set of moans and grunts emitted from the boy trapped underneath him and the elder Uchiha finally rolled over.
“Jerk…” Sasuke wheezed, trying to catch his breath.
Itachi simply smirked and pulled his little brother into his arms. “Good night Otouto.”
Sasuke gave sigh of defeat, and relaxed. “Good night Aniki.” He whispered, the stranger’s review still lingering along the edge of his mind. Tomorrow he’d figure out who it was, and then he’d make them pay.
~End
Author's Note: Reviews are always welcome! ^^
Important Warning: The content of this story is not meant to offend anyone. I have a twisted sense of humor, so some of this stuff might be odd. As far as nitpicking the “reviews” goes, those are generalized statements; they are NOT my personal opinion. For example: I have no problem with people who overuse “OMG” when they review –in fact, I tend to that myself! ^^;
Summary: Sasuke is a writer who posts stories online, but what happens when he receives a flame? He doesn’t seem to take it very well, but maybe Itachi can help make it better?
Additional Disclaimer: Just to be on the safe side, I don’t own AFF’s layout. This isn't Beta'd, but I did try to go back and catch the mistakes...
Flame
Written By:Crimson2006
Not Beta’d
Sasuke finished typing the last line and then hit the “post” button. There, it was done. He’d worked his ass off, but the next chapter of his story was finally complete. Now all he had to do was sit back and wait for the reviews to come in.
Uchiha Sasuke, who had been posting stories online for a year and a half now, was very well aware of how the system worked. Start a story, rack up the reviews, leave the people hanging on for as long as possible, and then post the next chapter the following Monday at a quarter past seven. Why Monday night, near seven o’clock you might ask? Well, that was when most people were online of course. Monday was just one of those days when after a hard days work, people wanted to sit down and read something good. And as everyone knew, Sasuke’s stories were the best.
Over 10,000 hits, 876 reviews and he’s just posted lucky chapter nine.
What was so lucky about chapter number nine? Well, it was the set up for the ‘mock’ chapter. That’s right, Sasuke always left number nine a cliffy and in two weeks followed it up with an Author’s Note instead of an actual chapter. Sure it seemed like a cruel thing to do –it probably was– but in sucked the people in; made them even more desperate then before. Plus it gave him an extra two weeks to figure out what the hell he was going to come up with next.
Sasuke prided himself on originality. That was one of the reasons that his work was so popular, not to mention that his writing skills could blow the top authors of the literati world, out of the water. In fact, he had a good mind to believe that if he wrote 10 consecutive books, he’d dominate the bestseller list. Yes, Sasuke was full of himself and it didn’t help that everyone adored his work. The reviews that they sent him were long and lengthy, pointing out all the best lines and scenes; praising him for a job well done. If the chapter was funny, then everyone laughed. If it was hot, sweaty and sex filled, then everyone had a wet seat after reading it and words such as ‘god that was the hottest thing I’ve ever read’ and ‘I’m so up for a threesome’ flooded his mail box.
Yes, Mr. Uchiha Sasuke knew he was hot shit and the best part about posting online was that nobody knew his identity. They all liked his work—even when all he was to them was a faceless penname. It was just further proof that he was perfect; that it wasn’t just his name that scored all the praise, but rather his talent.
Looking up to his mail box he noticed that he’d already accumulated 15 reviews. God, he had posted, what…like seven minutes ago. That had to be a new record for him. Clicking on them he read each one to himself before moving on to the next. By the time he got down to review number seven, he recognized the text, and linked it to a classmate of his. Yes, Sasuke knew a lot of the people who wrote him reviews; even though they didn’t know it was him they were writing to. The whole thing was ironic in so many ways. Most people would never think of him as the type to post stuff online –at least not on an explicit site like he did– but he could easily tell who was sending him a review their by penname and the content.
Body Review from: PaleEyesCanSeeYou
What a masterpiece! I would have never seen that twist of events coming. Each time I read a new chapter, I feel like I’ve fallen a little more into the dark world you’ve created. You must update this soon. Please and thank you! ^^
Pale Eyes? Please and thank you? Yeah, Sasuke knew that only Neji would write something like that. Moving his mouse down, he clicked on the next one.
Body Review from: …
Cliffhangers, Troublesome…I like it. Hurry up with more…
Short, simple and to the point, plus if he factored in that the person was too lazy to post a name, then that review had to be from Shikamaru. Only he would use the word ‘Troublesome’ in such a way that it was actually a complement.
Body Review from: Coffin_of_Death
Good chapter, I want to read more! Update before I kill you.
That one was obviously Gaara.
Sasuke sighed and decided that he’d go make himself a snack. Most of the people who reviewed right away were the speed readers and he was up to reading a review that was a little less stiff. The girls that reviewed always did the whole ‘OMG’ thing, which was annoying, but at least they didn’t have manners, they wrote in complete sentences –sometimes– and death threats were reduced to ‘Have my baby’ and ‘I think I’m in love.’ These honestly cracked Sasuke up, especially since his penname implied that he was a female. Not that he would ever admit that comical piece of information out loud. It was just funny how people would said the craziest things to get him to update, and he was looking for that sort of random flavor right about now. But those reviews would take another fifteen minutes or so to come about.
Padding downstairs Sasuke walked past the living, his eyes catching a glimpse of his brother, who was busy working on a term paper. “Hey Aniki,” he mumbled, giving a stiff wave. Not waiting for a response Sasuke continued on his way to the kitchen. After looking in the fridge and finding nothing of interest, he settled on a bag of popcorn and threw it in the microwave. Watching the numbers roll down –he didn’t want his snack didn’t burn, because god knew that damn popcorn button always over cooked it– Sasuke strummed his fingers over the counter until a faint shuffling sound caught his attention. “What?” he asked, unnerved by the feeling of Itachi’s eyes on him.
The elder didn’t answer with words, but instead opted slithered across the room, his white socks sliding over the tile floor as he were floating. Suddenly, two arms were wrapped around Sasuke’s body and the youth found himself trapped between the counter and Itachi. “Caught up in your stories again, hum Otouto? Perhaps I could give you some inspiration.”
Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Hn, offer something in another three weeks or so. I already wrote the chapter out and posted it.”
“That was dirty.” Itachi mumbled, letting go of Sasuke to snag the fresh bag of popcorn out of the microwave. Without another care, he sauntered out of the kitchen, leaving behind a pissed off teenager to brood by himself. The raven growled, why the hell did his brother have to be such an ass? He always ran off with his food! Opting to fix something else –that was the last bag of popcorn– he rummaged through the cabinets until he found a can of Hot Wasabi peas in the back. Settling for that snack, Sasuke pulled out a diet coke and made his way back into the living room.
“The school is putting on some festival thing this weekend, something about cherry blossoms and all that crap. Kakashi sensei wants to know if you’re going to volunteer.” The youth deadpanned. He vaguely took notice that Itachi was once again staring at him like he was a big piece of meat— his Aniki the hungry predator. “Don’t look at me like that Tachi. I’m not up to it tonight,” he informed, fiddling with the tab on his soda can. His nail slipping beneath the little piece of metal, pulling it up and then letting it snap back with a ‘twang.’
His older brother glared but turned back to his term paper. “Yes, I’ll volunteer.” He retorted before shooing Sasuke away with his hand.” If you’re not in the mood to play, then I don’t have any time for you.”
“Gee, I feel so loved.” Sasuke scoffed and stormed back upstairs. He hated when Itachi got all bitchy about sex.
They’d agreed a while back to start seeing other people, not because it was taboo for them to be fucking each other, but rather the youngest heir just wasn’t all that interested in his Aniki anymore. Or so he tried to tell himself.
Opening up the bedroom door, he filed into the messy room and heedlessly kicked his way through the dirty clothes that had been lying on the floor, for god knew how long. It was getting late out and the faint trickle of moonlight that was emitted into the room, lit up the posters on his wall, making Marilyn Mason and Slipknot look even more sinister then before. Switching on his desk lamp, Sasuke took a seat in his leather swivel chair, popped open the can of Wasabi peas and his coke, and jump started his computer from its ‘sleep mode.’ It was no surprise when he had 35 reviews waiting for him. Picking a random one from the middle, the raven gave it a click and shook his head in disgust when he realized who had sent it.
Body Review from: MyLifeIsBubblegum
OMG!!!!! OMG!!!! AND AGAIN…OMG!!!! I can’t believe that you ended the chapter that way! NO!!!!!! I’ll never survive the two weeks that it’s going to take you to post the next one! PLEASE I’m begging you, update soon! Your story is the best one on here and I’ll die if you make me wait…
Forever yours, Pink ^^
“Tsk,” Sasuke mumbled. Sakura always left a shit load of ‘OMG’s.’ You’d think that was the only word that she could use to complement her surprise. No ‘wow’s’ or ‘Damn I didn’t see that one coming.’ Not even a ‘WOOT,’ just the same three words over and over again. Monotonous, Sasuke thought to himself. I wonder if she’s obsessive-compulsive or something, because that would explain her constant need to ask me out. Clicking on another review, he hoped that this one had more flavor.
Body Review from: Sweet N’ Shy
Ah, your new chapter was very nice. I like how you left it open, cliffhangers are always a favorite of mine. I wonder if Michael is going to commit or if he’ll back out at the last moment. I do hope that they get together. Please update soon. XD
Body Review From: There’s Only One Green Bean
What a youthful chapter! Good work my friend. Let the fire of youth light your inspiration and help you update soon! ^_^
Body Review from: Hot_for_The_Uchiha
HOLY SHIT! THAT’S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG TO END IT THERE, LIKE THAT!!!! DAMN YOU!
UPDATE SOON! XDDDDDDDD
Sasuke cringed at the last one, which he knew was from Ino. He swore, just because she was blonde, wasn’t a good excuse to explain why she left the damn CAPS lock button on all the time. And why the hell was she adding so many o’s? Brushing it off, Sasuke decided to read one more before he started on his homework. Scanning the page, he was about to pick one near the bottom, when the little ‘click’ sound issued and he noticed that he’d just gotten another review.
“Ah, what the hell,” he smirked, clicking on the one he’d just received. He was a little surprised when a name that he wasn’t familiar with, popped up.
Body Review from: Red_Jutsu
Ah, well… I seen that this story had a lot of reviews and the summary looked pretty good, so I decided to read it. I must say that you have an original idea, but the plot is horrible.
Sasuke instantly stopped reading. His story was horrible? No way. Carefully he re-read the line and found that he hadn’t miss interpreted the statement. Dark brows crinkled down in a frown, and he scrolled down to take in the rest of the long review, very much expecting to see the words ‘I was only joking’ written somewhere along the line.
Honestly, I was expecting to read something spectacular, and you really left me disappointed. Your chapters are average length, but you could make them longer and your vocabulary is a little smart. I get the impression that you’re an arrogant asshole who likes to impress people by using big words. I wonder if that’s because you’re trying to compensate for something. And yes, I was referring to your dick. Nice try with the girly penname, but your sex scenes are a dead give away to your gender.
Let’s see, ah…Your other problem is that you over use a lot of the words. So trying picking up a thesaurus sometime, it might help.
On a positive note, I do like your style. But like I said before, the content just sucks. You have zero talent when it comes to balancing the emotions in this story. You add a lot of suspense, but the rest is just crap. The characters seem too distant as well. It makes their relationship seem weak and pointless. And seeing as you’ve based so much of your story on them; I’d think that you’d want to make their interactions meaningful. Anyway, keep writing, you seem like you ‘might’ have ‘some’ potential. Just keep working on it…
Out of the year and a half that Sasuke had been posting, he had never read something as shitty as this. The young Uchiha could feel his blood start to boil. Whoever Red_Jutsu was, they had just made a big mistake by sending him that message. What kind of asshole wrote a review like that? What hell was their problem? And his cock…FUCK THAT, nobody talked about his eight inch perfect piece of machinery like that. Whoever wrote that review was going down! Clicking on to the site, Sasuke pressed the review button on his story and skimmed down…. Damn, the ass-hole didn’t even leave an e-mail address. Clicking on Red_Jutsu’s penname, loaded up the reviewer’s homepage and Sasuke skimmed the contents. The guy was fairly new, only having joined three months ago. His birthday wasn’t listed, nor his age. There was no profile save for a URL address and he didn’t have any stories posted. Deciding to click on the link, Sasuke waited patiently for the next page to load.
“Otouto,” Itachi called out as he opened the bedroom door, not bothering to knock.
“Not now Aniki!” He hissed, impatiently tapping his foot. Why of all times, did his computer have to be slow tonight?
The elder raised a brow. Sasuke was always in a good mood after he posted a new chapter, so why was he being so uptight? Itachi suddenly smirked as he ingeniously put two and two together. “Did someone flame you?”
“I don’t remember inviting you into my room. Get out!”
“They did… And you’re moping about it, how cute.”
“Get Out!” Sasuke repeated a little bit firmer, he let out a growl when the ‘time out’ page popped up. Anxiously he hit the ‘refresh’ button.
“What did they say?”
The younger heir whipped his head around to instantly be greeted by Itachi’s face. When had his brother gotten so close? “Didn’t I tell you to get the FUCK out of my room?
Itachi frowned and reached over; flipping the computer button off right as the page came up. “I’m the adult, you’re the child… Watch your mouth Sasuke!”
Forgetting his resolve from before –and needing an outlet to vent– Sasuke in all his glorious rage, leaned in and attached his mouth to his Aniki’s. Wasting no time he pushed his tongue in between the elder’s lips, drinking up the his brother’s flavor as he savagely violated the familiar threshold, hunger, want, and anger more then evident. Itachi in turn, reciprocated the kiss. His own tongue coaxing Sasuke’s into duel for dominance –which for once– he allowed his Otouto to win. It wasn’t often that Sasuke initiated their get-together’s these days and he really wanted to fuck the boy, so perhaps flexibility was in order. It had felt like forever since he’d been inside the tight heat of his little brother, since he’d slid his cock in and out of that perfect, puckered hole. God, just thinking about it was making him hard. Removing his hand away from the computer button, Itachi cupped his brother’s face, their bodies moving just slightly closer as he deepened their kiss.
After several long, drawn out, pleasurable minutes, both boys parted slightly in seek of oxygen; their forehead pressed together with their eyes closed. Sasuke knew that it was too late to turn back now, not that he wanted to this time. The rage and anger brought about by that stupid review was still running through his mind like a mantra and he wanted to forget about it. He needed his brother to alleviate the mounting pressure so that he could think clearly. There was a high possibility that the person who reviewed was someone that he knew, and with a clear mind, he could sit down and figure it out.
And once he knew…oh, there would be hell to pay.
“Sasuke?” Itachi whispered, his crimson eyes opening to stare at the boy. For a second, he’d almost thought that his brother had fallen asleep, if not for the pissed expression adorning the youth’s visage.
The said boy opened his eyes and was greeted by the lustful stare of his older brother. “What Aniki?” His tone indifferent, calm and collected. He’d put up one of his famous Uchiha masks and he wasn’t going to let his disposition show again.
“I want to kiss you…”
“No,” Sasuke murmured, his face tilting to the side, his nose lightly grazing Itachi’s cheek until he reached the man’s ear. ”Just fuck me.”
At first Itachi had been left frowning, he didn’t like being rejected. Currently, he was both hard and horney which wasn’t a good combination; but then Sasuke had whispered that second part in his ear and the elder swore that he’d never been more turned on, then he was at that exact moment. Hearing his Otouto say that was like a dream come true; it had been too long –so long that he couldn’t even remember the last time Sasuke was that blunt about the matter– and he would not let the situation go to waste. Pulling the boy up out of the chair, Itachi practically threw him the few feet that separated the desk from the bed. Sasuke didn’t fight the momentum, nor did he struggle against the force of gravity when the back of his knees bumped against his king size bed. Instead, he unceremoniously fell on the soft mattress, his cock already hard with anticipation.
In a mere heart-beat, Itachi was looming over him, the elder’s clothes already removed as his skillful hands worked to do the same thing to Sasuke.
“Itachi,” Sasuke moaned, when he felt the cool air of night, brush against his hardened member. The said man just smirked and leaned in, darting his tongue out over the tip of Sasuke’s cock, delighting in the pre-cum that lingered there. For a moment he simply savored in the taste—let the flavor roll about on his palate before swallowing the tart substance. As delicious as sucking his brother’s cock was, Itachi wanted to cut straight to the action.
Urging Sasuke to move up on the bed, the elder was about to lean over and snag the bottle of lube that was always ‘conveniently’ kept on the nightstand, when a pale hand intercepted his.
“No Aniki, just fuck me.”
No foreplay, no lube, and if he was guessing right, no preparation? If Itachi knew that a simple Flame would make his brother such a dirty whore, he would have started sending them himself.” Alright Otouto, if you want me to make it hurt…” Itachi’s voice thinned as he positioned himself at his brother’s entrance, “Then I’ll make it hurt.” Without further warning, Itachi rammed his thick, hardened length inside Sasuke. Feeling the boy tear slightly, a warm rush of blood wrapped around his pulsating member.
Sasuke cried out; his insides burning with a sharp sense of pain. The feeling of being filled was almost excruciating, yet the younger raven allowed no time for himself to adjust as his legs worked their way around his brother’s waist, demanding that he move. ”Fuck me!”
Itachi obliged, pulling his blood swathed cock out of Sasuke before relentlessly pounding back into him. The teenager in turn, cried out in agony. His body filled with a rampant pain that couldn’t be matched by any other tangible sensation. It was like his ass was on fire. He could feel the sticky essence of blood that covered Itachi’s length as his sibling pulled in and out of him with animalistic type motions; it hurt so much and yet he wanted more.
“Harder!” Sasuke rasped, enjoying the pain and then drifting into an even greater high as Itachi shifted slightly to hit his prostate. Everything seemed to wash away as Sasuke delighted in the warm sensation that was coiling in the pit of his loins, and he called out another command. “Touch me!”
The elder Uchiha again gave into the request; his hand fisting the weeping member, stroking the boy to each thrust. He absent-mindedly wondered if he should be amused by his brother’s eagerness, or put-off by Sasuke’s demanding behavior. Either way he should have been sated with the fact that he was getting some, but maybe he needed to remind his little brother who was Uke and who was Seme.
Just a few strokes away from release, Sasuke grunted in agitation when Itachi stopped all movement. “Fucking, asshole,” he seethed. But before he had a chance to further vocalize his inquires as to what the fuck his brother’s problem was—Itachi’s length pulled out of him, and two strong hands wrapped painfully around his hipbone, flipping him over. Suddenly he could feel his brother inside of him once again and the younger raven grimaced when he realized the position he was in. On his hands and knees like a fucking bitch! Sasuke hated it when Itachi took him this way, but he supposed that he deserved it. The youth knew he’d been a bit too aggressive and between Itachi’s pride and Uke issues –his brother would rather go without sex, then ever be Uke– he had nobody but himself to blame for the humiliating position he was in.
“Who owns your ass?” Itachi baited, shifting again to brush against Sasuke’s prostate.
Withering in bliss, the youth shook his head and moaned out a faint, “You do.”
Not satisfied by the weak response, the elder slapped his bother’s ass-cheek, thrusting harder into that special spot, emitting a very long moan from his Otouto.
“Ahhhhh! YOU DO, ITACHI!” he cried, his mewls increasing as his brother reached around and started stroking him. It didn’t take long, but Sasuke was the first one to cum. His white seed shooting out in ribbon’s, coating his brother’s hand and the black silk sheets below. The constriction of Sasuke’s anal muscles –the way they clamped down, the warm, tight heat doubling against that already vice-like grip– was just too much and three thrusts later, Itachi was releasing himself into Sasuke’s ass.
Collapsing on top of his little brother, Itachi closed his eyes and was about to fall asleep, when Sasuke’s muffled voice coaxed him back to reality. “I’m sorry Otouto; I didn’t quite catch that…you can’t breathe?” Another set of moans and grunts emitted from the boy trapped underneath him and the elder Uchiha finally rolled over.
“Jerk…” Sasuke wheezed, trying to catch his breath.
Itachi simply smirked and pulled his little brother into his arms. “Good night Otouto.”
Sasuke gave sigh of defeat, and relaxed. “Good night Aniki.” He whispered, the stranger’s review still lingering along the edge of his mind. Tomorrow he’d figure out who it was, and then he’d make them pay.
~End
Author's Note: Reviews are always welcome! ^^