Lieber Gott

A/N: this is a mild fic, short, with no sex, but i really wanted to write it. i attended a concert last week that featured this song, and naruto and sasuke's first kiss immediately popped into my head. i hope you all like it. it is unbeta'd because i was too lazy to read over it again. heh heh... *now beta'd*

Special Note: the song used is one of Brahms' Gypsy Songs, from the text of Hugo Conrat.


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Lieber Gott
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Sasuke sat in his room in Oto, the moon’s pale rays the only light that suffused the darkness. The only noise was his labored breathing and hisses of pain as he bandaged his many injuries. Orochimaru had used some powerful jutsu during their spar earlier, and it had cost Sasuke. But it had cost the snake sannin even more, since now the Uchiha had more jutsu in his arsenal.

And those jutsu were going to help him when it came time to leave the bastard. Despite what others thought, Sasuke was not going to let the madman claim his body; he wasn’t an idiot, unlike some other people he could name, some person, some blonde moron who couldn’t tell his ass from the broad side of a kunai.

Sasuke sighed heavily into the silence. There he went again, thinking about… him. He couldn’t seem to stop lately, and it had irritated him to no end before. Now he resigned himself to it, because thinking about… him… kept Sasuke from thinking about other things that would keep him awake at night.

But what Sasuke also thought about was why he thought about… him. When had it started? When had he first started looking at… him… as something other a dobe?

It had to have been when… he… had accidentally stolen Sasuke’s first kiss, though Sasuke’s cheeks flushed at the thought that he was the one who hadn’t wanted it to stop, who had minutely leaned into it. That was when… he – who apparently would remain nameless, Sasuke thought in faint disgust – had first begun to catch Sasuke’s eye.

No. It was far before that, wasn’t it? When they were young children, after… that. After Sasuke’s hell on earth, when… he… had been the first one to treat him as a regular person, not as someone to be coddled and protected and looked to for excellence. How could the Uchiha not keep an eye out for… him?

Sasuke hissed in pain as he tugged too hard on the bandages around his ribs. He looked down to see that they weren’t going to be enough to cover the damaged area, and his lips thinned into a displeased line. He’d have to go ask Kabuto for more bandages, leaving himself open for the bratty doctor’s derisive comments. The only reason he put up with it was because Kabuto was just as much a prisoner as Sasuke.

With a grunt of effort, Sasuke got off his bed and limped over to a nearby chair to grab his pants. He’d forgo the ugly-ass bow for once, but he grabbed a silk robe and draped it over his shoulders. It was black with the Uchiha seal on the back, made by Orochimaru, but to what purpose Sasuke still hadn’t figured out. Not that it mattered in the end.

Slipping silently out of his room, which was frowned upon by the snake bastard, Sasuke stalked down the halls and towards the medical labs where Kabuto sometimes spent his nights. If the man wasn’t there, he’d check the dungeons before going to Kabuto’s room; it was too close to Orochimaru’s for comfort.

The labs were bare, and Sasuke glowered into the nothingness. The damn bandages were right there, but he couldn’t get to them short of breaking into the cabinets, which he’d get into major shit over. Dammit.

Sasuke turned and stalked to the stairs that would lead to the dungeons. He hated going down there, being reminded of what awaited him should he ever outlive his usefulness. But as long as Orochimaru wanted his body, Sasuke felt as safe as he could be at this point in his life.

The dank surroundings of underground pressed in on him, and he felt as if something was crawling on his skin. Sasuke ignored the urge to rub at his arms and continued down the dark passageway. A torch fluttered here and there with his passing, and he wondered why Orochimaru couldn’t wire the whole damn place like the upper levels.

“Sasuke-kun,” came that annoying voice from somewhere below him. “What brings you here this late at night? You know Orochimaru-sama dislikes you wandering around.”

Kabuto came in sight at the final step, and Sasuke stopped a few above him. “I need bandages,” he replied tonelessly.

The silver-haired doctor turned to look behind him, his glasses flashing in the torchlight. “Fine. If you’ll stay here and watch this specimen, I’ll fetch them for you.” Sasuke nodded slightly, and Kabuto moved up the stairs past him.

Sasuke didn’t follow his movements, but kept his eyes straight ahead. When Kabuto had gone a fair distance, Sasuke allowed himself to finish the descent. He took in the various tools and utensils that Kabuto had been using, and then his eyes settled on the ‘specimen.’

It certainly used to be male, Sasuke could tell, from a brief look at its nude form strapped to the table. He moved his eyes over it, momentarily breathless when his perusal showed him blonde hair atop the head. But it wasn’t the bright blonde of the sun, and once he realized that, Sasuke let out a small breath of relief.

As he stood there, listening to the drip drop of water nearby, a raspy voice reached out from the table to gain his attention.

“Do you hear her?” Sasuke said nothing. “Sssshe issss crying,” the voice hissed, and that sensation of something crawling on his skin came back. “Lisssssten.”

Sasuke snorted into the silence, but then his ears did pick up something other than the drops of water. The sound was low and soft, nearly silent, but as he concentrated, the sound became clearer and louder.

“It’s singing,” Sasuke whispered.

“Crying,” the snake-man corrected.

Sasuke walked around the table with the experiment, trying to get closer to the sound. There were cells all around, either filled or waiting for more poor souls for Orochimaru and Kabuto to work on. The one he focused on contained another transmuted human, and Sasuke was sure it was a woman. The sound cut off, and Sasuke jolted from its lack.

“You’re too clossssse,” came the whispered answer to his unasked question.

Sasuke backed up slowly, secretly hoping she would continue, though his face was just as emotionless as always.

There was silence for so long, Sasuke thought she wouldn’t start again, but then the sound came, low but still very clear.

“Lieber Gott, du weißt, wie oft bereut ich hab,” she sang. Sasuke’s eyebrow rose in question. What language was that? Where did she come from? How far did Orochimaru search for specimens?

“Daß ich meinem Liebsten einst ein Küßchen gab. Herz gebot, daß ich ihn küssen muß. Denk, solang ich leb, an diesen ersten Kuß.”

“Ssssshe issss sssspeaking our native tongue, from a land far from here,” the chained man said. “Dear God, you know how often I have regretted that I onccccce gave my beloved that little kissssss. My heart commanded I kissssss him. I sssshall think forever of that first kissssss.”

Sasuke couldn’t breath for a moment, couldn’t think. It was a haunting song.

“Lieber Gott, du weißt, wie oft in stiller Nacht,” she continued. “Ich in Lust und Leid an meinen Schatz gedacht. Lieb ist süß, wenn bitter auch die Reu. Armes Herze bleibt ihm ewig, ewig treu.”

“Dear God, you know how often in the sssstill night,” the specimen spoke, “How in joy and in ssssorrow I thought of my dear one. Love issss ssssweet, though bitter be remorsssse. My poor heart will remain ever, ever true.”

A choked scream made Sasuke whirl around to see Kabuto shoving something down the man-creature’s throat. “I thought I told you not to speak,” the medic said harshly. Then he looked up at Sasuke. “Here are your bandages. Sasuke-kun… why are you crying?”

Sasuke reached a hand up, and indeed, his fingers came away from his cheek wet and glistening in the torchlight. Kabuto smirked wickedly at him as he rushed by and took the roll of white cloth. He calmly but quickly ascended the stairs, but when he reached the ground level, Sasuke sprinted to his room.

He glanced in the mirror he never really used to see the tracks his tears had left on his pale cheeks. Then strains of the woman’s ghostly song floated through his mind, and Sasuke backed up until his back met the solid wood of his door.

The words wouldn’t leave him alone, and this time he noticed when the hot tears slipped from his eyes again. He didn’t want to think about that, he didn’t want to think about anything.

So he thought about the one thing that helped him to not think.

He thought about him.

Naruto.

But Sasuke kept crying, the moon’s pale rays the only light that suffused the darkness.


~owari~


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it wasn't total crap now, was it? *is nervous*

um, thank you for reading!