To Win a Blonde

Okay… so this would be my very first fic. I normally don’t do stuff like this, but this plot bunny has been swirling through my head for the past month and I just had to do something with it…
So hear you go.



“Yes!” Naruto hissed as his mouth latched onto something delicious causing Sasuke’s to groan.

Maybe He was being selfish, but this was just too much!

He could hear the gorgeous blonde boy hiss in pleasure once more and flinched as Naruto practically inhaled the object of his desire.

“God I love you!” Sasuke’s eyebrow twitched. As the blonde moaned, his eyes rolled. If you were there, you wouldn’t have blamed him. Why?

…

Because Naruto was talking to his bowl of ramen. Again.

“I love you, ramen!”

Sasuke had to fight the extreme urge to slam Naruto’s face into his own bowl of ramen. He fought partly because Naruto would probably enjoy it and partly because he secretly wished Naruto would say these things to him.

He had been putting up with this for years. Ever since he came back to the village, after every mission, he would go with Naruto to get a bowl of ramen. The trip was practically religious now. As far as Naruto was concerned, it was a sacred pilgrimage, never to be disturbed nor forsaken. It was his way to thank the great Kami-sama for his life after such perilous missions. He also had the great Ramen-sama to thank as well.

“Hey old man, another round!” Naruto barked. Sasuke looked down at his full bowl and scowled. He didn’t think he could handle this bowl, let alone a second round, and this bowl was getting cold!

“So tell us about the latest mission!” Ayame squealed, eager to hear the next story of her favorite blonde’s (he did practically put her through college after all) heroic escapades.

And Naruto began telling an exaggerated story only he could think of even trying to get away with. Of course, if you got rid of all the imposturous grandeur and read in between the lines, you’d get the real story.

“And Teuchi! If you could have seen all the beautiful women escorting us to the palace…”

‘Bullshit,’ Sasuke thought.

“And that’s where the mission truly started… See, there was this crazed stalker…”

‘More bullshit.’

“And all the ladies were like, ‘Save me, Naruto-sama!’”

Sasuke rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time.

“And Sasuke got hit on by one of the male dignitaries!”

Sasuke blushed. Ok, so that wasn’t bullshit. He hated how Naruto could do this to him. About a month after he came back, Naruto managed to break through his stoic façade and get him to crack the usual apathetic expression (if only just for a second). He also hated why he was blushing. He hated what Naruto didn’t know.

“I see the way you look at him,” a young, high class man had whispered into his ear at the formal dinner.

Sasuke had turn to look at him in something akin to surprise. Kisho… that was the young man’s name. He had met him once before at another’s dignitary’s party months earlier with Naruto and the Hokage. At the time, Tsunade was trying to negotiate a more lenient contract with Grass Country. Now, he and Naruto were trying to weasel a few forbidden scrolls out of the country, seeing as how they had been stolen from Konoha several decades ago.

“Hn. What’s it to you?”

“Meet me out in the garden before dessert, I think we can bargain for a reasonable compromise,” the young man whispered lowly in his ear.

Sasuke drew back for the rest of the dinner to observe the man. He was fairly attractive. Standing at about 5’ 11”, his will kept sandy brown hair hung over his forehead in a slightly side swept bang. He had gorgeous deep blue eyes, much like Naruto’s. He was pale like Sasuke and well muscled.

But he was no Naruto.

After finishing the main course (Sasuke didn’t really have an appetite so he just picked at it), he excused himself three minutes after the young brunette had to avoid suspicion.

The stars had come out early this night and the moon shone full while hanging in the sky, reflecting blue light off Sasuke’s hair. He made his way stealthily to a secluded corner of the garden, where he sensed another being. Behind tall bushes, he found Kisho sitting on a bench looking thoughtful, his silly hat removed and lying in his lap. As Sasuke made his presence know, he looked up and smiled.

“You love him don’t you?” The man asked, knowing smile still on his face.

“Hn.”

“He is pretty much off limits, isn’t he?” Sasuke stiffened at the words and raised an eyebrow. What was the point of this conversation anyway?

“Look, I really don’t see how this is relevant to the scrolls so-”

“I could pretend I was him.” If Sasuke wasn’t such a stoic bastard, he probably would have been bugging out by now.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Kisho made a few hand signs and muttered inaudibly. A small poof could be heard throughout the garden as an exact replica of Naruto repaced the young man sitting on the bench seconds earlier.

“I’ll give you what you want if you give me what I want,” pseudo-Naruto said getting up to move towards Sasuke. Tentatively placing a hand on the Jounin’s hips, he pulled Sasuke forward.

“See, I was a chuunin before I retired and got involved in politics.”

‘Oh,’ Sasuke thought and shivered as pseudo-Naruto began to trail kisses down his neck.

“Give me one night and I’ll give you the scrolls.”


Sasuke began to space out at the ramen stand. He could still feel the pain in his ass when he shifted. Kisho had thoroughly pounded him into the mattress two nights earlier and it took all of Sasuke’s will power not to limp on the way to the village.

He thanked Kami that when he showed up at the hotel room he and Naruto shared the next morning, the only thing he got was a, “Where the hell have you been, teme!?” When Sasuke held the scrolls they were sent to retrieve up, Naruto was just happy they could home.

“Thanks old man!” Naruto yelled as he slammed money down onto the table, effectively rousing Sasuke back to consciousness. The raven silently cursed before paying for his bowl and running out to catch up with the blonde already halfway down the street.

Said blonde had just spotted a former teammate and strolled casually across the street to talk with her.

Sakura had given up on Sasuke long before the Uchiha even returned to the village. More recently, many of the young girls had switched their attention from the raven to the blonde. The village was still hurt from Sasuke’s sudden departure and many years ago and many of the young women had given him the cold shoulder. Besides, now that Naruto had grown, he really did look like his father (who in all fairness, had to be the hottest Hokage to date).

“I missed you Naruto,” the pink haired bitch purred into the blonde’s ear. “Oh, hi Sasuke.”

“Sakura,” Sasuke nodded before continuing on down the street. He didn’t need to witnessing the upcoming coupling of the two… again.

‘Che, knowing Naruto, they’ll probably just start doing it in the bushes on the side of the street,’ Sasuke thought darkly.

“Oh!” Sakura moaned from behind him. Yep, he was dead on.

If he wasn’t an Uchiha, he would go home and cry into his pillow.


Alright, Review!