Bragging Rights
folder
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,587
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,587
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Bragging Rights
NOTES: I meant to post this little thing a long time ago but never got around to it. Anyway, here it is. Just FYI, there's a brief allusion to this story in my fic "Is This Gonna Give Me Warts?"
* * *
“All right, Naruto,” Kiba said. “I’ve figured out a way to fix our little . . . quandary.”
“Quandary?” Naruto said. “What the hell’s that? Some kinda reaaaaally bad laundry? Like with shit stains and piss stains and—”
“Yeah, that’s close enough. Anyway—”
“Ah, okay.”
Naruto stared stupidly at Kiba for a few moments, sniffing in snort-like honks, picking at his teeth with his thumbnail, so Kiba decided that meant it was time to press on: “Anyway—”
“Well I’ve got a pair of quandaries you can take over to Hana to wash later, man,” Naruto said. “After we finally get to the fucking and all that. Had a baaad bowl of ramen last—yesterday.”
Kiba nodded. “All right then. I’ll get that done later.”
“Thanks,” Naruto said with a grin.
“Anyway, we’ve been together for, what? Two days now?”
Naruto dipped his head. “And we still haven’t gotten in each other’s pants either. Man, Kiba—I figured we’d be fucking each other’s balls off by now.”
“Yeah,” Kiba agreed. “But obviously, that also means we don’t even know each other’s dick sizes yet either.”
“. . . Hey, you know what? You’re right. Never saw you in the springs before.”
“Yeah, never saw you in there either, man.”
“Hoo, boy. Mighta gone for male butts a lot sooner if I’d caught a glance at your ass in the flesh back in the day.”
“Heh.” Kiba shook his head, amused. “Well anyway—the point is, I’ve thought up a real easy way to figure out who’s gonna top first.”
“Ahhh, I see where you’re going with this.” Naruto scratched his crotch, took up a handful of his package. “Whoever’s got the bigger cock tops, right? Yeah, that’s a great idea, Kiba. Let’s whip ’em out and see—”
“No, no, no,” Kiba said. “It’s the other way around, actually. Whoever’s bigger—is gonna go bottom.”
After a momentary pause, Naruto blinked. “Wha—?”
“Think about it, man.” Kiba held up a finger, sage-like and smug in his posture. “We both wanna top the other—just to have ultimate bragging rights forever, right?”
“Yeah?”
“But cock size is something else we could have ultimate bragging rights forever for, too, right?”
“Uhhhhh, yeah, I guess that’s true, too.”
“So if the one with the bigger cock—who will always get to say, ‘I’m bigger than you’—goes bottom, then we’ll both win, right?”
A frown folded across Naruto’s brow as the guy looked down and appeared to consider it, planting a thumb and forefinger on his chin, scratching those whisker-things on his cheeks, and Kiba thought he could hear the sound of dirty laundry (a.k.a. quandary) swashing back and forth in the guy’s head until—finally—Naruto looked back up.
“All right, Kiba,” he said. “That’s a good idea, I think. If yours is bigger, I get to fuck you first. If mine’s bigger, I get to always make fun of your small penis.” He suddenly chuckled. “Tch, that bastard, Sai—that word always makes me laugh now.”
Kiba immediately began to strip out of his jacket, smirking. “Heh—so you ready to lose?”
“Hah!” Naruto stuck his chest out a little. “You’re the one who’s gonna lose.”
And with a buzz, they zipped down their pants, reached inside, and pulled out their cocks.
* * *
“All right, Naruto,” Kiba said. “I’ve figured out a way to fix our little . . . quandary.”
“Quandary?” Naruto said. “What the hell’s that? Some kinda reaaaaally bad laundry? Like with shit stains and piss stains and—”
“Yeah, that’s close enough. Anyway—”
“Ah, okay.”
Naruto stared stupidly at Kiba for a few moments, sniffing in snort-like honks, picking at his teeth with his thumbnail, so Kiba decided that meant it was time to press on: “Anyway—”
“Well I’ve got a pair of quandaries you can take over to Hana to wash later, man,” Naruto said. “After we finally get to the fucking and all that. Had a baaad bowl of ramen last—yesterday.”
Kiba nodded. “All right then. I’ll get that done later.”
“Thanks,” Naruto said with a grin.
“Anyway, we’ve been together for, what? Two days now?”
Naruto dipped his head. “And we still haven’t gotten in each other’s pants either. Man, Kiba—I figured we’d be fucking each other’s balls off by now.”
“Yeah,” Kiba agreed. “But obviously, that also means we don’t even know each other’s dick sizes yet either.”
“. . . Hey, you know what? You’re right. Never saw you in the springs before.”
“Yeah, never saw you in there either, man.”
“Hoo, boy. Mighta gone for male butts a lot sooner if I’d caught a glance at your ass in the flesh back in the day.”
“Heh.” Kiba shook his head, amused. “Well anyway—the point is, I’ve thought up a real easy way to figure out who’s gonna top first.”
“Ahhh, I see where you’re going with this.” Naruto scratched his crotch, took up a handful of his package. “Whoever’s got the bigger cock tops, right? Yeah, that’s a great idea, Kiba. Let’s whip ’em out and see—”
“No, no, no,” Kiba said. “It’s the other way around, actually. Whoever’s bigger—is gonna go bottom.”
After a momentary pause, Naruto blinked. “Wha—?”
“Think about it, man.” Kiba held up a finger, sage-like and smug in his posture. “We both wanna top the other—just to have ultimate bragging rights forever, right?”
“Yeah?”
“But cock size is something else we could have ultimate bragging rights forever for, too, right?”
“Uhhhhh, yeah, I guess that’s true, too.”
“So if the one with the bigger cock—who will always get to say, ‘I’m bigger than you’—goes bottom, then we’ll both win, right?”
A frown folded across Naruto’s brow as the guy looked down and appeared to consider it, planting a thumb and forefinger on his chin, scratching those whisker-things on his cheeks, and Kiba thought he could hear the sound of dirty laundry (a.k.a. quandary) swashing back and forth in the guy’s head until—finally—Naruto looked back up.
“All right, Kiba,” he said. “That’s a good idea, I think. If yours is bigger, I get to fuck you first. If mine’s bigger, I get to always make fun of your small penis.” He suddenly chuckled. “Tch, that bastard, Sai—that word always makes me laugh now.”
Kiba immediately began to strip out of his jacket, smirking. “Heh—so you ready to lose?”
“Hah!” Naruto stuck his chest out a little. “You’re the one who’s gonna lose.”
And with a buzz, they zipped down their pants, reached inside, and pulled out their cocks.