Endless song in and endless snow

I
A second encounter

I am trapped in a never ending snow, cursed by time, unwithering and frozen. We have a connection. One which transcends forgotten memories and pasts of wishful thinking and ethereal dreams. You belong to me.

“Snow… every time I look at it, somehow I feel nostalgic about something.” The view from the café on the glittering lamp posts and Christmas lights, amidst the shops decorated with green pine trees, poinsettias and the merry songs played inside the establishment he was sitting in once again reminded him that that time had come once again.

Naruto was sitting on one of the cubicles in the café, beside the glass window spanning the entire east wall, legs crossed poised under the table and a faraway look on his handsome face as his chin rested on his palm.

The steaming café au latte and a slice of strawberry cake untouched. His white coat was hanging comfortably on the back of the bench beside him, the casual winter clothes of red angora turtle neck and jeans his choice of style for the day as his date just kept staring at him with admiration, never noticing how the coffee his date was currently drinking was already drooling on the corner of the hung open mouth.

And when those pastel blue eyes rolled to the side, he let out a snort which made the raven opposite him snap back to reality.

“That’s going to cost you an untimely fee for dry cleaning professor Baikan.” The blonde picked the tissue from its holder, the other one still being used for his chin to rest, tanned hand reaching towards the man to wipe the brown line of liquid on the corner of his mouth down the chin.

But that hand was caught even before it could return to its position on the blonde’s side, and the raven smirked, brown eyes so dark it was almost black. “You’re always so cool Naruto. But don’t worry, whatever fee I have to pay for anything long as it’s because of you it’s worth it.” And the blonde produced his own languid smirk, letting the raven newbie professor place his lips at the back of his hand, they didn’t even flinch when the passersby outside caught sight of them from the transparent window, and when the waitress supposed to take a bill from the uncomfortable couples behind them stepped back with a gasp.

“You really have no sense of morality, dating your student like this.” Naruto tipped his head to the side, the single earring shaped into gothic silver cross dangling close to that area on his neck.

“Oh? And what do you have to say for yourself who is now dating this man who has no sense of morality?” The languid smirk didn’t leave, but the hand being held firmly around a pallid one was slowly but decisively taken away by its owner.

“What can I say? Since we’re together, so that makes the two of us.”

“It’s Christmas eve. I’m surprised. You didn’t go back home for your winter break. ” Sai took a mild sip from his cup, but his eyes never left the handsome man who he was lucky to date for the half of the year only because he knew that the blonde was bored, curious, and had no patience for stubborn suitors like him.

“There’s no one to go back to anyway. Why waste money, it’s better here in the metro.” Once again Naruto brought his eyes back to the view outside.

“I would have been flattered had you said instead that it was because of me.”

“I know. That’s why I didn’t say it.”

“First time I saw you were last year on the Fine Arts department’s building. On the rooftop.” That seemed to snap Naruto’s attention away from outside, and Sai continued, aware that the man was eager to listen. “You were outside the safety fence, and you looked like you wanted so much to jump with such a look in your eyes. But you didn’t, even on such cold weather you just stayed there staring at nothing. I was… curious.”

“I… just wanted to see the snow better, because I couldn’t see the snowflakes from below without straining my neck.” The blonde answered with a lopsided smirk, bringing the hand his chin was resting to rake at his hair with a groan.

“I see.”

“So is that why you hit on me first day of class?”

“Hn… to say that I asked you to model for another reason is rude. But yes, you could say that I was interested, day by day you arouse my curiosity. You have many friends, a good head over your shoulders, the recently labeled cool beauty in your department… still whenever I watch you it feels there’s something missing.”

“You’re quite the keen observant. So tell me… professor. Can you tell the reason why is that?” Tanned fingers clasped together to support the blonde’s chin, elbows leaning on the table as Naruto smiled with his lids lowering a little.

Instead of answering, Sai just waved a hand to the waitress on her station and asked for the bill, leaving a wad of cash and not bothering to wait for the change he stood up and retrieved his coat lying on the space beside him.

“Shall you follow me to my place after this?” Like a true born gentleman Sai held his hand for Naruto to take which the blonde just stared at for a while before he placed his hand for the man to take.

“I should worry what comes next after that, I suppose.” Sai just smirked at his lover’s comment, placing an arm over his shoulder as they left the café in line with gift shops, clothing stores and other cafés.

The streets were still devoid of any pile of whites, but he knew it soon would be filled with a blanket of that immaculate color, the coldness of the air that would feel his lungs making him feel relaxed somehow, he didn’t know why but he had always liked the cold although not to the most extreme, he’s just human after all.

“When I was a child, I would get excited like that every time this time of year comes around. Lots of presents, after all, it’s just an excuse to spend and drink to your content. But somehow through the ages it’s lost its sparkle.” Sai mused loudly as they silently walked through the streets, few children carrying candies and teddy bears in their arms with their smiling parents behind them, people in coats and suits passing them by to Naruto they all looked the same.

“Sorry I didn’t know how to reply to that.”

“Hm?”

“I don’t remember. My childhood that is, when I woke up one day I’m already Iris Rozencreutz.” The blonde answered nonchalantly, but Sai was taken aback by that answer, he knew there was something wrong when he knew his name was Iris but the man introduced himself as Naruto, as all his friends would call him.

“But why Naruto? You don’t like the name your parents gave you? Even though it’s a girl’s name somehow it suits you.” He knew Naruto as the son of the president of the Rozenkreuz University, his parents were a German teacher couple who had migrated to Japan in the nineties to continue their devotion to spreading education to people, while their accents were pretty much German, Naruto’s own was of British whenever he would speak, but it was surprising to also know that the blonde was fluent in Japanese unlike his parents.

“I just feel comfortable with it. Wouldn’t it sound weird to be called an English name in a Japanese tongue? It’d sound Ai-ri-su, plain weird.” Sai just shrugged at this, bringing the man closer to his side as they proceeded to turn at the corner where most of the people were gone, and whispered close to the blonde’s ear.

“Sorry, it looks like I wouldn’t be able to last till we get to my place.” The hand over the blonde’s shoulder slid down, slender fingers going underneath the wool sweater making the cool blonde display an intense blush and his hand went straight to where Sai was groping his waist and hissed.

“Sa-Sai not here.” And Sai smirked further with this, they had stopped abruptly from walking and the unsettled blonde was maneuvered into a well lit corner of the alley by the man’s built.

“I knew it. Seeing that cold and calm façade of yours attracts me, but it arouses me even more to see you unsettled like this.”

“Sai wai-mphff…” The blonde had wanted to resist, but they had done it plenty times than he can remember, got used to the heat creeping up his face and the whole body with the simple tangling of the limbs and exchanging of tongues.

He had never bothered to think of what the others would think if they were seen, it’s a free country with a meltingpot of culture and tradition, surely they had already opened up to the word homosexuality, and they weren’t the first of the species to make out in public. But that’s just where Naruto had wanted it to go to, he didn’t want to advance anymore, not any further in his opinion.

By the time their mouths had left each other for air they were already panting, the blonde taking notice of how the man’s caresses were becoming rougher and more impatient by the minute. He knew Sai was thinking of officially doing it when he felt that hard obvious bulge poking at his abdomen, the raven was taller after all.

“Sai… I think we should leave now.” Naruto managed to voice out even when the man’s fingers were already hooked on his turtle neck pulling it to the side to expose the skin there, sucking hard and raking his teeth while his other hand moved up underneath the sweater to knead on a warm chest.

Sai knew that tone, Naruto would use it every time it was the time where they should stop, and would leave Sai sweating hard and erect from the heat of the make out. Six months and they’re still not doing anything besides kissing and the occasional, almost rare fondling. “Hey… you wouldn’t want me to walk looking like THIS.”

The raven was pitching a tent, it was poking hard against the blonde and somehow Naruto had regretted leading him on to expect that they would reach THAT point of intimacy. He thought he was ready, the man had been patient after all, but every time he would think of making love to him he felt he was doing something wrong.

Something… unacceptable.

“Eeep! A gay couple.” They heard a girl’s voice squeak out and the two immediately created a good distance between them, at least Naruto did. That was the first time he’d been labeled like that with him actually hearing it, his friends weren’t the least bothered provided he don’t hit on them which was already a given.

Chouji’s brain is composed of food and his body is made up of unused calories. Shika’s a lazy bastard. Shino’s a calculating creepy guy. Kiba’s a curse factory, if he didn’t at least get one ‘fucking’ word in his sentence then Naruto didn’t hear it. And Sakura, well she’s hot and all and she said her lower extremities have an awesome THING, but he doesn’t have an inclination towards transvestites.

And then they turned to take in two pairs of couple, the two males resembling a little of each other with the long black hair and dark eyes, their built was also the same, Naruto had thought the man on the left looked a little like Sai although his hair was cut a little different.

And the blonde, once he set eyes on those pair of onyx eyes he stiffened and an incredible sense of nostalgia and guilt together with an unknown pang of pain shot through his chest when he saw him with a blonde curly-haired woman in her teens.

He knew this person. Somehow. He felt familiar with him. But why is it that seeing him with someone else hurts? He felt he should be in that place instead. And he didn’t know why he should.

Those seasoned eyes, as if you were falling into a bottomless well it conquered Naruto’s own blue ones as if they didn’t want them to look away. But Sai’s pulling on his arm did the trick.

“You know him?” Came the rough low growl, a deep scowl on the raven’s face.

“Uh… I… no.” He finally said, “I’m not sure… do I… know you?”

The other raven behind the younger one smirked, when he sensed the young man tense before him. “Certainly not. Although I would be pleased if we did.”

“Itachi’s so mean! Throwing me away like that.” The redhead beside Itachi pouted, tugging on his arm for them to continue walking.

“Forgive me, forgive me my lady. I was just appreciating beauty. It’s rare to see one of our kinds these days. Right little brother?” The man spoke with poised old English, the words though foreign to the blonde girl’s ears were very much understood by his brother and the pair opposite them.

“Eh?”

“I smell the scent of flowers. They remind me of the ones we had in our garden in England.” Naruto fought the urge to fidget at how the older man’s eyes seemed to bore holes through him and at Itachi’s words his younger brother proceeded to walk again, taking the blonde girl in his hand quite roughly.

“Well then, till we meet again blue eyed angel…” Itachi carried the air of aristocracy, in his languid and poised voice, his long limbs and slender hands and his black cape collecting the falling snow on his shoulders, he lifted his hat with a black leather gloved hand and raised it, before putting it back again to follow his brooding brother.

“Naruto.”

The blonde took his eyes from the group’s departing figure, he didn’t even know he was staring at them if Sai didn’t call his attention.

“Sai, we should separate from here. I have things to do after all.” Naruto sighed tiredly, not expecting for him to nearly lose balance when the raven pulled his arm close to him.

“What is your problem? I came on to you, and you agreed, we’ve kissed plenty times already, and you never refuse and when it comes further than that so I think maybe you’d think of me just a little but you don’t seem like you want to go to the last part. Are you just leading me on?”

“So you’re just after that after all?” He knew Sai wasn’t the kind of person who’d sweet talk you just to get on your pants then leave, but he didn’t want to face the truth that he really was just leading the man on. Sai was a very reliable person, he’s gentle, handsome and above all he somehow could understand Naruto in a way most people couldn’t do. In a way he needed Sai, and he was afraid that if he didn’t let the man go have his way with him he’d leave.

He was too foolish to think that Sai would just let them be that way.

“Hell no. You know I didn’t put you into this relationship just to get on your pants, if I wanted I should’ve just pushed you down and get it over with rather than spend time with you and say cheesy things. It’s just that… we’re lovers Naruto. It’s included, it’s a part of it.”

“Yes, yes I know we’re lovers, just that, no matter what I do I can’t seem to think myself of going any further with you Sai.” At that the blonde guiltily lowered his head, unable to meet the man’s incredulous gaze.

“You’re so selfish… I won’t take shit from you anymore. We can’t go on like this and then stop halfway. If you’re going to be half-assed about it, then let’s just separate.” The grave tone was followed by a set of foot steps fading away, Naruto stiffened at those words, he was selfish, it’s true, but he just didn’t want to be alone, Sai’s presence… it was something that makes him calm and secured, there was just something in him that every time he’s with him it makes him happy somehow, but that happiness was fake.

It would be an understatement to say that Sai had treated him with gentleness and care like a princess, but he was no princess after all. And when he watched Sai’s back depart in his blue eyes, he realized just what Sai told him earlier about what was missing. Even being surrounded with friends and a family who loved him.

He felt alone.

And having Sai there, made him feel obsessed with that false happiness of being with someone who understands you.

Being alone.

Feeling alone.

Two different things.

“Sai-” Sai paused from walking, cutting off the blonde’s calling for him.

“If you call out to me again, you must understand that you have to accept me with your heart, not just out of convenience Naruto. If after, you can’t do that… you can call my name as many times as you want, but I won’t turn back.”

He had felt this before, felt that stabbing pain making it hard to breath, making your sinus hurt, the edge of your eyes hot, your stomach coil and your throat hurt at seeing someone’s back walk away from you, but it was shallower now, somehow he knew that, that if Sai would leave him now, he could bear that pain, he had experienced it before, he just knew.

Sai, smirking as if he knew already, started to walk away again, he knew that Naruto didn’t want anything from him aside from being by his side, however, he took the risk of being hurt and eventually lost in the gamble. Hell at least I was the first to nail him, well not really but still. Sai thought with a smirk and he breathed in the cool air, looking up at the dark sky, his hands deep in his pockets he let out a sigh.

“Looks like it’d be a long winter…”

+++

“You look unsatisfied as usual dear brother o’ mine. You didn’t have to be so generous as to leave blondie hanging like that.” Sasuke Uchiha snapped his head from the picture frame he was looking at to the man in white sleeves and black slacks leaning on the door frame of his study, arms folded in a lax position and a stain of red on his collar.

“I was sure you’d be glad if I did.”

“If it wasn’t for the fact that you’d die of thirst you wouldn’t even touch the poor girl.” As long as it’s got something to do with Itachi, nothing comes out well. Sasuke thought as he glowered towards the smirking man.

“What is it that you want?” Sasuke nearly sneered the words as he put the frame back to the drawer of his study quietly and went back to tapping on his laptop. “Did you dispose off the bodies already?”

“He grew up nicely, that charming lad. He’s quite the looker don’t you think?” Sasuke already knew the reason of his brother showing up quickly right after feeding, he was probably interested to see his reaction on the matter and it pissed him off. Normally Itachi would still fuck the girl unconscious before giving the leftovers for his pet, he always got off having sex while feeding, the man said it was like drug.

“Get out. I’m busy.” Sasuke ordered with the urge of crucifying his brother with vines if he didn’t budge from that place. But Itachi being Itachi, he knew how to pick on his brother and get away with it.

“Ah… and look at that. He had changed a lot, grew taller, he’s still cute but you’d be an idiot to disagree if I say he’s beautiful, but I can see I’m not the only one who thinks so, that young man with him for example wasn’t he a little closer to be just an acquaintance? I was surprised, to say the least that he’s remained pure even in this age. And the scent of his maiden blood, still it arouses me… say little brother…” Itachi didn’t move from his position even as the vine of thorns started to crawl dangerously towards him, it came from the walls, the ceiling the floor, its intoxicating poisonous scent coming from the vines itself was a warning for Itachi.

“Would the taste of his blood-” The sharp tips of the vines zoomed towards Itachi’s lax form, their sharpness and its thorns able to rip anyone to shreds within target range by the order of its master but Itachi just disappeared, leaving only wisps of smoke, leaving the vines to attack themselves.

And on the wall behind the fuming young man whose eyes had turned blood red and a look of murderous intent seething in ever pore, a pair of arms went to embrace the tense neck, as if the pallid flesh were ghost soon the elbows, the shoulders and Itachi’s whole torso hung on the wall like a decoration. “Nee, Sasuke… would the taste of his blood stir that fire inside you that has long since been extinguished?”

Sasuke’s hands shook with its deadly grip on the arms of the chair threatening to end with mere chunks of wood as he heaved a sigh, the knot between his brows disappearing to be replaced by the lowering of it, hinting sadness. He let Itachi rest his chin on the slumped shoulders, let the man nozzle his jaw, kiss his cheek, but he remained unmoving, never eliciting a reaction but sadness from Sasuke.

And the older of the two’s smirk faded into a lonely smile. “Would that make you happy?” Itachi buried his forehead on Sasuke’s shoulder.

Because Sasuke, I’m willing to do anything just to make you smile again.

While Sasuke in turn leaned his head back on Itachi’s shoulder. “I don’t know Itachi. To be honest I don’t know.”

It wasn’t so long ago, when you finally thought you found your happiness and yet, now you are unsure if that person’s smile can still satisfy your heart. Too many things have happened.

So many things had changed.

*Ultimate guide to the awesome: Kiba

I have finally found a new understanding with Kiba while I was watching a 19- something discovery channel show about dogs on a DVD, and found out he’s one of the favorite characters I want to include in my stories. Their olfactory nerves are four times bigger thus making their senses hundred times more accurate than ours thus providing Kiba with excellent nose to sniff out my hidden scribbles of plots, subplots and list of titles under my bed.

I am unsure on how this story would go even though I already have the plot. You’re reviews might make me change my mind for the better, anyway my best friend texted me, and I asked her, so did you read my stories? Huh? Huh? Huh? And she said, uh, well I just kind of saved it on the diskette and uploaded it in my computer, but I haven’t read it yet. How could she!? It’s a fucking sem. Break! How busy are you!? And I thought I should say ‘you fucking read it! Don’t make me severe ties with you!’ But I wasn’t able to, ‘coz I ran out of load since it’s prepaid. Poor me. I couldn’t curse her to save my life. After all the stories you’ve proofread… and all the chapters you’ve praised… you don’t fucking read them when it’s already proudly published!? Not even a review my goodness you just turned eighteen last December Ten!

I was devastated to say the least… ugh… once I refused to admit, but I still love her a lot. In fact when we were still in high school, we show our love for each other without shame my mom actually thought we were into yuri (and I’m the top… obviously. –said with pride?-). Oh come on, I might be a pervert who gets off on guys making out with guys, but she’s my best friend! I’m open with those types of relationships, duh, but for now, I can’t see myself participating in it.

I like guys VERY MUCH, that’s why I like yaoi!!!!

Hn, don’t you think Itachi’s a little lovey-dovey here?