Tears for the unknown

Title: Tears for the unknown
Genre: YAOI
Status: Complete
Warning: AU / Oneshot
Pairing: SasuNaru
Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Naruto belong to Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha and associated parties. The characters of this series are used without her permission for the purpose of entertainment only. This work of fiction is not meant for sale.

Trailer:

SasuNaru Is it possible to cry for someone you’ve never even known? For someone who was contemptible and misunderstood? Seeing someone cry freely in front of his brother’s funeral, Sasuke was interested, Sasuke was…

I

My brother never brought home a friend, a mere colleague, ever talked to anyone on the phone. My brother Itachi, in his repressed insanity would walk in and out of the house in his own world, attend school, go home in the morning, take exams, but never talk to anyone in particular. He would either be hated or admired, both from afar. To me he is like the sky, the sparks of fireworks, the snow, someone who I could never get a hold, someone who I could never reach.

Yet, to you who had never known him you cried, offered flowers, and prayed in silence in the empty funeral of my brother consisting of me and only me.

Your tears…

They angered me.

+++

To me your existence was just among the others passing through, we were classmates but never talked, you knew me as the cold bastard as I would often hear from your mouth, I knew you as the hyperactive idiot who would always find time to skip and fool around instead of study.

The fact that we were living in the same time and the same place didn’t make me feel any different towards you, I never even knew you existed if you weren’t an idiot enough as to pour vase water on my head, it didn’t make me recognize you, it just pissed me off and regarded you as one of the many who wanted to get through my defense and finally be friends with the Police commissioner’s son.

I couldn’t even remember your name, your face was a blurry shape of tanned flesh and blue orbs with blonde spiky hair.

Had you not appeared there in that graveyard and cried in front of my brother’s grave, then your existence shouldn’t have been something I was always aware of.

Ever since that time, the promise to never return to that place again was broken the same day it was made.

It royally pissed me off.

+++

“Oi.” Naruto looked up from his perch on the grassy graveyard of one Itachi and blinked to recognize a similar face, but more defined with expression, not a very good one though.

“Ah!” The blonde who was squatting earlier had now totally sat sprawled on the grass, pointing his forefinger to the cold bastard he knew in school with a wide, disbelieving expression on his face, jaw hanging open. “It’s the bastard! What are you doing here!?”

Sasuke’s eye twitched dangerously at the name call, out of all the people, the dobe in front of him was the only one who would dare call him that in front of his face. “I should be asking you that. You know my brother?”

“Huh? Brother? Who?” That response answered the raven’s question as he sighed heavily, squatting beside the blonde to point at Itachi’s grave as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“My brother, Itachi. The one you’re sniveling over just a while ago?” In a duh tone the blonde finally was able to absorb the obvious facts and he faintly shook his head, quickly wiping moisture on his cheeks, he straightened up and brushed the dirt on his black senior high uniform.

“Whoah… with the similarities I should have known.” The blonde muttered nonchalantly before picking up his canvass bag and walking off to the exit of the burial grounds. “Well then bastard, I’m off.” But he was stopped by a hand on his elbow, he looked over his shoulder, frowning in confusion as he looked down at the cold bastard’s hand.

“What?”

“What were you doing here just now? Did you know my brother?” Something akin to a hint told Sasuke he did when the blonde suddenly stiffened and blushed, but that quickly disappeared and turned into a scowl.

“That’s none of your business.” The blonde said before he roughly pulled his arm away from the man’s hold and continued to walk, never looking back.

That was Sasuke’s first conversation with Uzumaki Naruto, seventeen years old, hyperactive fresh man student of Daishihan senior high.

Naruto came from a very ordinary family, with very ordinary parents and grew up in a very ordinary household. He had average grades, average friends with a very unordinary personality.

He likes eating ramen despite the odd taste of miso and the noodles combined, enjoyed chatting with weirdos in the other sections who’d visit him every day to chat like that fat Chouji, the lazy Shikamaru, a stoic Shino with the stage presence of a rock, Kiba who has a penchant for animals, Hinata whose talent was to stammer in perfect accuracy every three syllables, enjoys getting hit by his crush Sakura together with her best friend Ino, and spends half of the day lazing around on top of the school building choosing to ignore the ‘no entry’ sign by the door.

This, Sasuke found out, in a matter of six hours of spending time inside the class room with Naruto on the opposite side, five pairs of chairs apart.

It was amazing how accurate his ears can be when needed.

It was needless to say

“Bastard why are you following me?” Sasuke didn’t know how to react as he was cornered by that question the moment he stepped outside into the open space of the rooftop.

“Who is?”

“You are, duh, isn’t it obvious. Crap you’re starting to freak me out. I thought it was just my imagination but you’re actually stalking me aren’t you?”

In the cold afternoons of autumn Naruto was wearing only a tank top under his black starched collared long sleeve, unbuttoned and wrinkled with dusty pants to match.

“I am not following you. This is a place for anyone to kill time with.” Sasuke tugged on his collar, uncomfortable with the blonde’s scrutiny before he heard the man’s cursing and felt Naruto’s side brush against his and he turned.

“Wait! Oi!” The blonde continued to walk down the stairs despite Sasuke’s call. “Dob-Naruto!” but he paused halfway to the second turn of the stairwell and he looked up glaring at the flustered raven.

“See? It’s not so much of a bother to remember someone’s name is it? What?”

“Uh… I… uh…” The blonde turned to walking down the stairs before Sasuke finally blurted out something he never thought he could say.

“Wait! Can you hang out with me for a while!?”

Sasuke was not your typical people person, he rather liked the quiet, the freedom to not talk and not feel obliged to reply in a conversation, but that time, he kept asking himself what exactly he wanted to say to the blonde who was now climbing up the steps towards him, back up the rooftop, and sitting onto the dusty floor.

“So? Sit. You’re not going to die of germs if your pants get dirty a little.” Sasuke blinked in confusion at first as Naruto stared at him incredulous while patting the concrete beside him and shrugging off the impending disgust at having to brush off the dusts later, he squatted next to him.

“Do you want to talk about anything in particular?” At that question, when Naruto took in the raven’s expression, he quickly realized that Sasuke was still lost as to how to start, he was clearly just groping in the dark fumbling for words to speak out.

“Ah, forget it-”

“Why do you-always doze off here?”

“You WERE following me-”

“No! It’s just… even in class, so I thought… whatever.”

“Hmm…” The blonde then looked up at the autumn sky, leaning his hands on the concrete on both sides. “I have a part-time job so-”

“That’s prohibited, if anyone finds out-”

“If you’re sane enough to keep your mouth shut no one else would know.” Naruto smirked at him before looking up at the skies again, if Shikamaru wasn’t having club activities with Chouji they would’ve joined him by now.

“I work as a waiter at Ichiraku’s, it’s nightshift so I’m always going to school with merely just two or three hours of sleep.”

“Why?”

“Not everyone’s as rich as you Sasuke.” The blonde chuckled at the ridiculous question, everyone knew he wanted to go to college and pursue the arts. “Unlike you I don’t have the money to spend for college, buy a car or some other things, I had to shed blood and sweat before I even get to eat a bowl of ramen.”

Naruto’s parents were mere commoners owning a small ramen shop they had sold to another couple which was where he was working at now, renovated into a coffee shop restaurant, living off bargain foods in the convenient store, sleep in a futon full of mites if not aired regularly, inside a dingy one room apartment which was now inhabited by only Naruto alone because his parents were in the suburbs working to add for his income.

Daishihan high was a high school affiliated to Daishihan university, if you graduated there, your future would be set, a free job interview and scholarship for those chosen, but with Naruto’s average grades, he would have to do some extra studying because of the many times he was sleeping in class and failing to pass projects and assignment.

That was why, he, Sasuke Uchiha, Todai hopeful bachelor number one was now sitting on an unaired cushion seat in front of a worn out low desk inside a room with a new cobweb forming already at the corner of the ceiling not spared with the rusting water marks from the last rains last month.

“Sorry, ran out of tea there, you want some coke?”

“No, it’s not needed, just water is fine.”

“On a diet?” Sasuke frowned at the teasing tone, he didn’t like being particular with his eating habits, he just didn’t like eating too much oil, too much carb and too much color in his food, out of the two Naruto looked more the health buff with toned muscles not too large to make him a walking muscle but only right to define his tanned body.

“Hn.” At that suddenly Naruto gasped, what the blonde wanted to be a quiet flop on the floor ended up with a loud thud as he lost his balance and landed butt flat on the tatami.

“What?”

“Uh… n-nothing… I thought, your voice sounds the same when you do that.” The blonde seemed to pale a little as he regained his composure, listlessly skimming on the page of their reviewer and he winced as Sasuke spoke out in a sneering tone the name of his brother.

“You do know him. How did you meet?” Sasuke prodded noticing yet again the blush creeping up the blonde’s face, he can already Naruto remembering something.

“He was a regular at our store. He’d always just sit there all night until daybreak then leave, sometimes he’d ask for delivery. Uh, how do you make a parabola again?”

His brother had insomnia which was the only thing that wasn’t cured in the rehab, because of a type of repressed schizophrenia; by the time he finally blew up he ended up killing his parents and was caught before he got to Sasuke. Sasuke hated the man with a passion, deep in his bones he would feel a chill every time he’d remember his parents’ screams from inside the dark cabinet, his sanctuary at the time.

The reason that the grave had no surname written in it but Itachi was because his grandparents didn’t want to recognize him as part of the family, in the end, he died from jumping at the top of a nearby establishment mostly because of hallucinations and constant depression.

“Was this… Itachi’s studio?” In the end Sasuke’s feet led them inside the attic of his house one afternoon after the changing of the seasons finally took place, it was a cold winter but the attic was the warmest place to be, his brother hated the cold, one of the reasons the studio at the top most part of the house had been his makeshift room instead of the original one on the second floor.

Itachi was taught to paint in the rehabilitation center and being the genius that he was he picked up the talent and skill to excel with it, the doctor used it as a medium of communication towards Itachi who was always silent or rather as the doctors said, found his voice too ugly for him to hear so he just didn’t want to talk. Painting, sculpting, writing, singing, composing songs, anything the doctors used for Itachi to be able to express his feelings, but the canvasses inside the studio where Sasuke had never set foot consisted of nothing but abstracts of different shades of black, red and yellow.

Fire.

Repetitive images in each canvass it seemed like the walls where they were hung were burning.

“Everything really… just screamed Itachi in here.” Naruto run the tip of his fingers with a sad smile on the top edge of another canvass lying at the corner of the single bed next to the window, it was covered with a white cloth, probably something unfinished.

That look.

It’s just really pissing him off.

Sasuke twisted the blonde’s arm to face him, knocking the boy to flop down the bed flat as the blonde forgot to struggle in confusion as to what was going on inside Sasuke’s head with an enraged expression on his face.

“How did you know him? Since when have you been seeing each other!? Do you know he’s a murderer!? He killed my parents and if the police didn’t come I would’ve been killed too! He’s just an insane dead bastard, he doesn’t deserve anything from anyone!!! Most especially sympathy or any kind of love from someone like you!”

A crisp slap echoed inside the dusty room, with that one slap Sasuke snapped out of his sudden outburst and was now staring wide eyed at the blonde pushing himself against the corner of the bed against the wall with a scorned look on his face.

“Are you looking for some kind of pity Sasuke? Sorry but I’m not the person you should be telling these kinds of things to, I already have problems on my own to give you a light pat on the back and tell you it’s not your fault. Because no matter what you do, your brother’s never coming back, you’re never going to be able to win, you can’t compete with someone who’s already dead so stop running after his shadow or you’ll end up far worse than him.”

“I am aware of that… Itachi this, Itachi that… oh he’s a genius, you should imitate your big brother, it really is true that the border between genius and insanity is paper thin.”

*Uhh… yeah, so, what do you call yourself huh, Sasuke? Pot calling the kettle black.

Naruto pressed himself back against the corner even more as Sasuke slowly crawled towards him on the bed like a tiger basking at the appearance of its prey before going in for the kill.

“No one should cry for him, no one, even our own relatives didn’t go to his funeral and yet you… Why did you have to be there and cry for someone as hateful as him! He’d never had any friends… but you, someone he just randomly saw at some bar would cry for him…”

“Y-you’re wrong… we didn’t know each other, I don’t even know if he remembers me but, he was always there, he was just sitting there and I’d serve him coffee but before I knew it… I was unconsciously waiting for him to come again. Suddenly… I became aware of his presence… every time he was there. We never talked but I could see that he’s someone who’d never hurt a person if he had any control over it, you must understand that Sasuke. And by the time where I finally gathered courage to go to his house I found out that he…”

“Ah… you’re right, he would never remember someone like you. So just forget him already… the one who’s with you now is alive and in the flesh. Didn’t you tell me our voices are alike when I do that, hn?”

Sasuke pulled a handkerchief from his uniform pants and took the opportunity the moment Naruto stiffened at the sound to blindfold the blonde. “Sasuke what’s-”

“You’ve never heard him talk… but I’m sure you’ve already felt how calloused his hands were, from writing and sketching… my hands, they’re the same don’t you think? Our bodies… our hair, you said we were similar yourself…”

The shirt of the blonde was unbuttoned one by one, even with Naruto’s hand attempting to pry Sasuke’s own to stop it didn’t have the energy to pull it away, trembling as they were.

“That’s it… just lie down there. Already you’re aroused from his smell aren’t you?” The raven chuckled, pushing the blonde to lie on his back flat on Itachi’s bed, the musky scent of oil paint and dust lingering in the air. “You’re a pervert, so you get off smelling paint? Does it make you high like the average junkies do with rugby?”

The pants slid off, the underwear and the shirt too, blindfolded and naked, his bare body was left to the raven’s cruel scrutiny as he wrapped his arms around his stomach, feeling the chill in the air.

“Sa-Sa-”

“Shh… Itachi may heeeear you…” Sasuke said in a threatening sing sang voice imitating the tone of –come out, come out wherever you are- making the blonde stiffen yet again, biting his lips, a reaction from the hushed warning and large hands playing on his thighs running up his waist and chest and something large, he thought to be Sasuke’s waist separating his thighs apart, something big and hard nudging at his groin.

*Cripes, my brother sometimes uses this song in a monotone voice whenever we watch horror DVD’s and it just creeps me out!

I’ll let you hold me, in place of Itachi…

Soon you would forget, I will make you forget that these eyes resemble similar black pupils, similar pale skin, similar height, similar voice.

It would not be long before our roles get reversed in your mind, soon it will be Itachi who resembles me… not me who resembles him. In your eyes, I will be your only one.

I will make you forget.

In the living room as the snow finally stopped falling an empty box was littered on the carpeted floor, Sasuke who was still half naked was squatting in front of the furnace throwing stark white papers one by one after giving it a good look.

“Really, the irony of it all. We are too alike brother, you and I… but I’m alive, and that’s your loss. I can do, what you were too afraid to put into action.” Sasuke muttered to himself with a ridiculous smirk plastered on his face as he looked at a certain paper that took his attention the most, it was the only finished sketch complete with the shading and toned lines and clean erasures showing a familiar blonde who was just writhing earlier under him on his damn brother’s bed.

That blonde was tied to the mahogany canvass stand with an almost endless line of red sash, stark naked and blindfolded his wrists were tied together up above his head, his left knee bent as it was tied, pulling it up to expose the private parts dripping with liquid while the other was tiptoed on the floor, mouth separated by a dark cloth knotted behind his head.

It was just one of the countless images of the same person with similar themes in different poses and locations in the house.

The last to go in the burning furnace was the medium sized canvass Naruto noticed earlier that was the only one covered and leaning against the wall, it was the same drawing which took his attention earlier but already with the colors and the background behind was the attic’s window.

Only the burnt coals of the frame of the canvass was left when he noticed the slow creaking of the old steps signaling Sasuke of Naruto’s climbing down stairs.

“What are you doing?” The blonde asked while he wore only a makeshift towel draping over his shoulders to cover his form which was the sheet on the bed earlier, not able to see what Sasuke was burning because of his high position at the top of the stairs when he stopped as Sasuke moved voluntarily to meet him upstairs.

“Just burning some useless scraps in my room.”

“O-oh? You were suddenly gone so-”

“You shouldn’t be walking this early, it’s your first time right?” The blonde blushed deeply as he was turned to face the same direction he took earlier by the shoulder, only to be directed to another door he hadn’t been to.

“I-it doesn’t hurt that much. You were gentle so…” The door was opened and welcomed the blonde’s sight of a well cleaned room, he should’ve known, he knew his new lover was a neat freak.

“Let’s get some rest… we have many things to do after this.”

The door quietly creaked as the raven closed it from behind.

“Eh? But it’s sem break, we have plenty of time.”

“Yes… plenty.”

Thank you brother, even in death, I finally found you useful for the first time.

Clack.

END

*Sooooo… how was it? I made this ‘coz I was totally brooding about why I was crying over Asami Tohjoh’s death when I didn’t even cry at someone’s funeral where I personally knew the departed. Hn, lime only but so what, I only did this to finally get a release from my lamenting of Asami Tohjoh’s death. What would happen to Hardcore Yaoi without her!? I mean how would Maki Murakami and Gangster Kichio (total HARDCORE mangaka devoted to making gravitation doujinshi’s… makes Yuki a slut, but makes Shu-chan the best pervert of them all…) compete without an Asami Tohjoh? (was… urk… was the epitome of HARDCORE angst with the use of catheters, enema device… snakes used in sexual roles… I love LOVE PRISM and Haginokouji seiya sama no Ran!)

Anyway Happy Christmas and New Year to y’all! God in just merely three months I can’t believe I’ve already made this many stories… if only I have an internet connection then I wouldn’t have to wait for my brother to let me out the house so I can surf and update even when the story was already complete weeks ago. Talk about confinement… all that’s missing are lattice fences and I’d be good to go in the red light district, yahaha! Yoshiwara and Shinjuku ni-chome rules!!! And I just discovered that I have the abnormal rare ability to fall into a depressing slump right after typing the trailers of my stories, must be because of Asami Tohjoh’s death! So Flood of Lights, The love that won over snow and Endless song in an Endless snow would just have to wait, and it’s Christmas! Give me a holiday!!!! Instead, let’s exchange gifts and review my otoshidama story (gift given to children every new year) for you!!!