Christmas Courage

This was written for a gift exchange so I couldn't post it until now. Yes, it's a little late for Christmas, but I hope some people can enjoy it anyways. :)

Christmas Courage


Kiba tore off another piece of jerky, grating the dried meat harshly between his molars before tossing the rest to Akamaru. He gave an audible huff, wrinkling his face up in disgust before grinding his teeth more.

He watched intently from his position atop Ino’s flower shop, not caring about the steady stream of snowflakes landing on him, or how cold his hands were without his gloves. He was too fixated on his teammate’s activities down below, and the spiky haired blond who presently had the audacity to touch her so familiarly.

“What’s so special about Christmas?” Kiba asked of no one in particular.

“Arf?” Akamaru let his concern for his master’s brooding show, pawing the snow just as his foot.

“And why’d she have to choose him? I could so kick his ass.” Kiba let out a low growl as Naruto slipped an arm around Hinata’s waist. The laughing blond ushered Hinata inside the warm looking bakery. The wooden door swung closed behind them. “I thought she was supposed to be shy.” He rambled, his thoughts roaming between Hinata’s unexpected courage in asking Naruto out and wondering how long they were going to be in the bakery. A steady stream of couples wandered in and out the bakery door, always with the same small white box tied up in ribbon. Kiba didn’t need to look to know what was in there. He could smell the frosting from here and the delicate scent of fresh strawberries. He refused to admit that it smelled good.

“Stupid Christmas. What bozo decided that it was for couples?” Kiba’s eyes were trained on the bakery door. He nearly began pacing as his impatience grew. Akamaru nuzzled his hand, attempting to calm him and Kiba, realizing that he wasn’t talking to himself pat Akamaru on the head. He tried to reign in his temper, knowing he was being silly to react so strongly. He wasn’t twelve anymore, but he couldn’t help feeling protective of the Hyuuga heiress after all they’d been through together. He glanced across the street to the bakery once more in time to see a smiling Hinata, still blushing, and smiling Naruto holding a small white box wrapped up in ribbon. Kiba sighed; the smell of sugar was somehow overwhelming.

He jumped up to his feet and began to walk to the other side of the roof. He rubbed his hands together as though just noticing how cold they were. His breath fogged between them, snowflakes scattering in new directions as though avoiding its warmth. “Come on Akamaru, it’s freezing out here.” He pulled his hood up, tugging it close and leaped off the roof to the other alleyway.

Kiba walked quietly down the more residential street. Akamaru followed close behind, his steps making a shushing sound as his paws sunk into the snow. They had no destination really. He just wanted to get away from the bakery, with its Christmas cake and lovey dovey couples and Hinata’s happy blushing face. He knew he should be happy for his teammate, but they had been together for so long, he couldn’t help feeling jealous- as if Uzumaki was trying to steal her from their team. He knew that was silly and that Uzumaki would probably botch things up between them in no time. The thought was rather satisfying and Kiba almost smiled at the thought.

He wondered what he could do in the meantime, wishing for a second that they had a mission today instead of getting a “holiday”. He wondered where Shino had hidden himself or if Shikamaru’s team was eating Barbeque like they did every year. He thought about visiting his mentor Kurenai and her little pup, knowing how hard the holidays were on her since Asuma passed. He even thought of just heading out to the training fields and working on a few jutsus with Akamaru.

“Hey,” a mellow voice floated his way.

“Hey Shino,” Kiba nodded and kept walking. Shino fell into step beside him, hands in his pockets, footsteps quieter than Akamaru’s as usual. “What, you don’t have a Christmas date?” Kiba prodded.

“Should I?” Shino asked. Kiba huffed and made a face, thrown by Shino’s genuine question and realizing that his teammate didn’t seem to be as upset about Hinata’s date as he was.

“Che, sorry. I’m irked that Hinata ditched us for Uzumaki. Can you believe that? She ditched us, her teammates!” Shino listened patiently as Kiba ranted. He didn’t seem surprised or angry or sympathetic. He just listened until Kiba was finished. At times Kiba was thankful for his seeming apathy, but today it was simply annoying. “Aren’t you pissed? Uzumaki is out with our Hinata! Man if he touches her I’m gonna rip out his…”

“Kiba.” Kiba stopped mid-rant and looked at Shino in surprise. “Hinata has had feelings for Uzumaki since we were children.” Kiba’s eyes widened in surprise. He had a hard time believing that one. Hinata? The two hardly interacted and every time he came within feet of her… Suddenly certain events began to click.

“Whoa is THAT why she’d always freak out around him? Man, I just thought she was shy or that he scared her with all his hyperactive shit.” Kiba ran a hand through his hair, effectively knocking off his hood in the process. Kiba wasn’t any happier by this piece of information, but at the same time, he could understand a little more why she looked so happy, or why today was special enough to blow off their usual Christmas routine.

“Relax.” Shino put a hand on Kiba’s shoulder. “We’re still her team.”

“Yeah well, it’s not like she told me any of this…” he frowned. “And how come YOU know this stuff, huh?” Kiba gave him a wary glance.

“We talk.” Shino removed his hand and began walking again. “She says I’m a good listener.”

Kiba bristled at that one. “And I’m not!?”

Shino held up a hand to stop his protests. “She prefers an audience of one,” he gestured towards Akamaru.

Akamaru flattened his ears to his head, but the comment had its intended effect. Kiba relaxed, placing his hands in his pockets and continuing forward.

“So, what do you wanna do? Since Hinata is busy on her date, it looks like it’s just the two of us. Wanna train or see what other people are up to?”

“I was looking for you actually. I’m going to visit Kurenai-sensei.” Shino slipped a small package from his pocket to show Kiba before sliding it back inside. “For Asuka.” Kiba nodded.

They took a left at the next corner, making their way through the grid of streets that would take them closer to the academy. Kurenai’s apartment wasn’t much further than that. There were a few people in the street, all bundled up, some carrying boxes or presents. A few kids dashed excitedly through the street throwing snowballs or quietly watching Akamaru warily. Kiba chuckled as one of them tried to put on a brave face, but began running as soon as he passed the large white dog. Akamaru whined a little, but relaxed when Kiba gave him a gentle pat.

A girl bundled up in a heavy coat was passing out flyers. She handed one to Kiba as they approached her. “Two for one special, Christmas Eve only,” she winked. Kiba looked down at the flyer and noticed the symbol for the local onsen. The baths were just half a block away and it was on their path.

“Oi Shino, wanna go?”

“Hrm?”

“To the onsen,” Kiba raised the flyer. “It will be cheap and it’s freakin cold out here.”

“I can’t go into the rotemburo, remember?”

“Yeah, but I’ll pay so you get in free and you can just wash up. Come on. Even you have to bathe now and then. That coat won’t hide your stench from me.” Kiba tapped his nose, grinning.

Shino lowered his head and then nodded.

Kiba smiled triumphantly. They walked quietly, making it up the half block to their new destination. They strode up to the wooden building that seemed moderately empty. Kiba turned to Akamaru and gestured to the side fence. “Hang out here for a little while and I promise I’ll give you a treat later, k?” Akamaru barked his assent and sat down obediently. “No sniffing into trouble while I’m gone!” Kiba yelled over his shoulder.

He pushed aside the entrance curtain and slid the entrance door open. A few people milled about inside, probably waiting for the massages or sand bath. Kiba went directly to the vending machine to order a towel, making sure to get two. He handed the slips to the clerk at the front desk along with the flyer he received on the street.

“Men’s is on the left,” she smiled at him. “Here are your towels, soap and shampoo are provided in the wash area.” She placed the fluffy white towels on the counter and pushed them towards him. “Enjoy your time here.”

Kiba grabbed the towels and tossed one to Shino. Slipping off his shoes he tossed them into one of the shoe boxes, holding the door open for Shino to do the same. He latched the box closed and tossed the key to Shino. “You’ve got bigger pockets.”

He hopped up onto the wooden floor and padded his way to the men’s bath. He gave the air a slight sniff and then opened the door and stepped in. Shino was close behind.

The changing room was empty save for one jiisan sitting down
on the bench in his towel. Kiba picked a locker and began undressing quickly, eager to get out of the cold air and into the hot water.

Shino had chosen a locker directly behind him. The taller boy took his time, obviously not as affected by the cold. Something about his bugs keeping him warm…

Kiba tried not to think too hard about that one. Shino was barely removing his mesh when Kiba was yanking down his pants. He tossed everything into his locker unceremoniously and slammed the locker shut. Flipping the dials to create his own code, he turned the key and watched as all the dials flipped to zero. He slipped the key band over his wrist and grabbed his towel.

“Meet you in there,” he said.

Shino nodded, and Kiba almost snorted at the image of Shino, in nothing but ankle pants and his sunglasses. Years together on a team and Shino still struck him as kind of an odd guy.

Kiba stepped into the wash room, the tiles cold against his feet and grabbed a bucket and stool. He plopped the stool down, shivering as he seated himself and turned on the hot water. When the bucket was full he dumped the entire contents over his head, letting out a contented sigh. His skin felt warm, goose pimples prickling where the water had not touched. He let the bucket start filling up again, squirting out some soap from the dispenser and lathering up while he waited. He was relieved to find that it wasn’t the overly sweet smelling or flowery kind, but a less fragrant soap. It wasn’t as good as the unscented soap he kept back home, but it would do for now.

He worked up a good lather and began scrubbing at his arms. His hairs stood on their ends in the cold, relaxing as the friction between his hand and arm created heat. It was times like these that Kiba wished he had Akamaru’s warm pelt. Shino stepped in as he was scrubbing his legs. The other boy was covering himself up with his towel before sitting directly behind Kiba as he always did. Shino made no mention of the cold, didn’t seem to shiver or even note the fact that their breath was fogging up inside. He wore his shades as usual, plopped himself down and turned on the shower.

Kiba reached for the shampoo, but was irked to discover that the bottle was nearly empty. He looked around but the only other bottle was next to Shino. Getting to his feet reluctantly he wandered to Shino’s side.

“Oi, Shino, can I borrow that shampoo?” he leaned over before getting permission, squirting a fair amount onto his palm. Shino held his body as far away as possible, as if touching Kiba would infect him, body tense and perfectly still. “What’s wrong with you? I don’t got fleas.” Shino closed his legs together and adjusted his glasses.

“Nothing is wrong.” He grabbed some soap and began washing up.

Kiba looked at Shino carefully, but didn’t think too much about his response. Shino had always been the overly modest type. Of all the times they had been to an onsen together, Shino would never sit next to Kiba while washing up, would never sit in the same bath, or scrub each other’s back. Kiba always assumed that he took special care of himself cuz of his bugs, or because he was self conscious of the occasional spots where he had holes or “entryways” for his insects, as he put it. Kiba had insisted that he didn’t care about that, but Shino had always remained aloof.

Kiba returned to his stool, giving his hair a good scrubbing down before turning on the shower and rinsing himself off. The water was hot, his hands and feet felt like they were burning since they were cold, but they grew warm in no time. He lowered his head, running his right hand through his hair to clear out all the soap as he held the nozzle over his head. When he was done he felt refreshed. He felt clean, and warm- his skin steaming from the hot water. He grabbed his towel and placed it atop his head before rising to find his way to the bath.

“I’ll be in the rotemburo. Give me five minutes, k?” Shino avoided looking at Kiba, but nodded. Kiba chuckled, assuming that Shino still wasn’t quite used to him walking around naked so freely either. In his family, nudity was no big deal. Heck, his mom and dad *still* bathed together on occasion. But the Aburame clan was something else entirely.

Kiba could smell the bath salts like someone was holding them under his nose. Not that it was unpleasant. The floor was surprisingly warm beneath his feet, scratchy against the pads of his feet. The air was cold, and he felt the goose pimples sneaking back up his limbs, prompting him to quicken his stride to the outdoor pool. Snow surrounded the stone path leading to the large basin, no doubt melted by the steaming water.

A pair of boys, probably no more than ten threw snow balls at each other, each ducking beneath the steaming water to avoid being hit. Kiba chose a quieter spot on the other side, where he would hopefully be out of their range. He dipped his foot into the water, let out a pleased sigh and stepped right in. Keeping his towel in place atop his head, he immersed himself neck high, leaning against the edge of the bath. The stone felt cool against his neck, but he paid no attention. Slipping his towel a little over his eyes, he let himself relax, enjoying the feeling of being completely warm.

He used to hate taking baths as a kid. He had assumed that anything Akamaru distrusted wasn’t right for him either. It was when his mother could no longer take the smell and threw him in, fully clothed and a small puppy clutched in his arms that he began to think twice about it. But now, as he sat in the tub, pushing away his concerns over his teammate and keeping a tighter reign on his protective urges, he was able to appreciate it.

He reflected on the irony of a hot bath cooling him down. But as each limb grew warm and relaxed he couldn’t help but feel better about everything. He took a deep breath and considered taking a page out of Shino’s book. If Shino wasn’t freaking out over Hinata’s abandonment of their ranks, then he wasn’t going to either… outwardly at least. He would try to support her in his own way- which meant not ripping Uzumaki a new one until the first offence. Though he imagined he’d have to beat Neji to it. Kiba grinned at the thought. That’s the sort of challenge he liked.

Speaking of challenge, his senses kicked in and he batted away an incoming projectile. He pulled his towel away with the other hand in time to notice a fair sized snowball now melting in his fist and two red faced boys looking like they were about to get switched.

“So much for relaxation.” Kiba tossed the snow ball behind him and stood up. He stepped out of the tub and wrapped his towel around him. “I didn’t even get my five minutes.” He shook his head, but still smiled a little. He had at least achieved his goal. He was ready to see his teacher now without his anger or paranoia over the last protégé of the greatest pervert of their time. Now he could walk in there and not lay trivial complaints at their mentor’s feet. It wasn’t what she needed at this time of year.

Kiba reached the doorway to the wash room and paused; he noted a faint scent in the air, one that seemed greatly misplaced. He took a more careful whiff, trying to process the various scents bombarding him, but still the same scent lingered. Confused, he tried to follow it, picking it out over the earthy scent of damp wood and the moist soil underneath, or the flowery fragrance of soaps and shampoos. He shut out the lingering scent of the mineral water filling the bath, or the clean snow beside it, following that musky smell to the restroom.

It was empty save for one stall was occupied- silent, but for the rough breathing and wet sounds. All motion ceased upon Kiba’s entry.

“Oi, Shino, is that you?”

“Ah.” His voice stayed calm, collected, completely unreflective of what Kiba knew was taking place behind that stall.

“Dude, don’t play coy, I can smell you. I thought you were supposed to be washing off, not wanking off,” Kiba taunted. Kiba didn’t think it was all that big a deal really. Hell, he had been caught any number of times and usually it was by someone worse than his best bud. Not that Shino hadn’t caught him, but he just usually pulled his hood over his eyes a little more and walked quietly away. But this was the first time Kiba had ever caught Shino. And frankly, Kiba had always wondered if the prude of rookie nine was even capable of it. “Look, I know you got the hots for Kurenai-sensei, but dude, she’s got a kid now,” Kiba grinned. Not that she wasn’t still nice to look at. “Or if one of the other girls is more your thing, I’m sure I’ve got pics somewhere.”

“Kiba,” Shino’s voice politely interrupted. “Could I have a few minutes?”

Kiba crossed his arms, “Is that a no then?”

“Please.” Kiba knew a dismissal when he heard one. He was pretty sure Shino was rather embarrassed at this point.

“Dude, relax. You know I’m messing with ya. I’ll be out front playing with Akamaru. You come out when you’re good and decent. And make sure you scrub yourself off pretty well too. Otherwise Akamaru is gonna know you’re in heat.” Kiba headed towards the locker room. “Later.”

Kiba chuckled nearly the whole way.


Fifteen minutes later they were back on the road, headed towards their destination.

“So, you just want to see Kurenai-sensei don’t you?” Kiba waggled his eyebrows. “If you need me to be called away or anything…”

“Kiba, stop. I don’t have feelings for Kurenai-sensei. I respect her as my mentor, as should you.”

“Oh,” Kiba rubbed his chin, “so you got the hots for someone else then. Will you tell me if I guess correctly?”

“No.” Shino kept strolling forward.

“Oh come on!” Kiba protested loud enough to earn a few looks from passersby. He looked a bit sheepish and lowered his voice. “Will you at least tell me what she looks like?”

“Your mom,” Shino stated straight faced.

Kiba froze. His grin fell as comprehension dawned on him. “HEY, are you insulting my mom!?” Kiba tried to punch Shino’s shoulder, but failed to land a hit as Shino gracefully side stepped him. “Oh, I’ll get you!” he launched himself forward, successfully bowling his teammate into a pile of snow. He knew Shino was physically weaker than him, Taijutsu not being his specialty and effectively pinned him down. “You take that back!”

The other boy didn’t struggle, allowing himself to be trapped between Kiba’s heavier body and the tuft of snow beneath them. Akamaru knew better than to interfere in their rough housing.

“It wasn’t an insult. It was the truth.”

This caught Kiba by surprise. He went through the catalogue of people they knew that could possibly physically resemble his mother but was drawing up blanks.

Suddenly, the light bulb upstairs blinked.

“You like my SISTER?! Eugh!!” Kiba pushed off of him and rolled away. “Dude, that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Besides, I have a suspicion that she’s banging someone else,” he tapped his nose. “But if you want me to introduce you two a little better…”

“Not your sister.” Shino brushed snow off his jacket and checked the gift in his pocket.

“But what other chick…?”

“I didn’t say it was a girl.” Shino got to his feet. He continued to walk down the road, not waiting for Kiba to follow him.

Kiba sat in the snow dumbfounded. “HUH!? Get your ass back here and explain that one. I don’t have a brother!” Now he was doubly confused.

Shino paused and let out an audible sigh. He came back a few steps to face Kiba, his expression unreadable as always.

“I made a deal with Hinata. If she gathered the courage to ask out Uzumaki, I would gather the courage to let you know my feelings. So there they are. I’ll understand if you choose not to join me in visiting Kurenai-sensei.” He turned around and began walking away. “Think about it.”

Kiba looked at Akamaru in absolute confusion, but it seemed not even Akamaru could shed some light on this one. Shino had feelings for him? Had he gone daft? They were practically brothers, just like Hinata was practically a sister. But now things were seemingly more complicated. There were secrets between them, deals being made and him none the wiser for it: the best nose in all of Konoha, but apparently the most blind.

Things had always been so normal between them and Shino had never shown any signs of…

Kiba stopped that train of thought. The onsen, Shino’s surprising modesty and his tendency to not look at Kiba naked. Shino had closed his legs when Kiba reached for the soap. He seemed to be afraid of being touched and after Kiba left he … went straight for the bathroom.

Kiba felt like a dunce. Akamaru nuzzled him whimpering because of Shino’s abrupt departure. Akamaru never liked it when he fought with his friends. Kiba scratched behind his ears, trying to calm him. He had to think this one through. “It’s okay buddy, Shino isn’t mad. But I think I need a walk.”

He pulled himself up and began to walk in the opposite direction.

He felt nothing short of baffled by this recent development. Sure, he had never thought of Shino in any romantic way, and wasn’t even sure what Shino wanted by telling Kiba about his ‘feelings’. Did he want them to go out on silly dates and look all lovey dovey like Hinata and Naruto? Did he want romantic strolls or perhaps just a good romp in the sack? Shino knew he had no preference for either girls or boys specifically, but the problem was simply the fact that Kiba had never considered Shino in that capacity. And thinking about it now was really starting to weird him out.

It had begun snowing again. A cold drop landed on his nose, making Kiba twitch until he brushed it away. Kids were running around excitedly, mittens in the air as they tried to catch one. Kiba remembered when he’d do the same- when they all did on the playground, together. They had all been together so long he couldn’t help but consider them a family. And one did not mess with family.

And then the problem dawned on him. Kiba never messed with those close to him. Sure there had been girls and occasionally boys that he fooled around with, but they had been nearly strangers. They meant nothing to him.

But Shino did.

And that was why Kiba couldn’t take his feelings lightly.

“Kiba-kun!” a soft female voice called out. Kiba looked up to see none other than the happy couple. Naruto was still carrying the white bakery box, cradling it carefully in his hands. “What,” she hesitated, looking down at her clasped hands, “what are you doing here?” She was blushing. Probably from being caught on her date.

“Hey Kiba, what’s up?” Naruto smiled. “We’re on a date!” Naruto informed him gleefully. Kiba chuckled and smiled predatorially. He grabbed Naruto by his jacket and pulled him forward.

“And if you disrespect her in anyway, I’ll get my rematch. And it won’t be pretty.”

Naruto put his arms up in surrender. “Whoa, what? I would never do that.” Kiba released him, ruffling his hair. “Besides, Sakura would have my head if I did.”

“Kiba-kun! Hinata was pulling him away from Naruto. “Na… Naruto…kun is,” she started blushing even brighter, “a gentleman.” Her face started glowing. Kiba rolled his eyes.

“Oi, Hinata, get a hold of yourself will ya? Someone has to keep this guy in check,” he winked. “I won’t interrupt your date anymore so go have fun.” He started to stroll away when Hinata’s tug on his sleeve prevented him.

“Ano…” she stared at the ground, “have… you seen Shino-kun?” She looked up at him worriedly. Kiba knew that she knew. They had agreed upon their confessions together. Kiba was afraid that he didn’t hide his feelings all that well. Hinata saw his conflict and immediately looked worried. “Where… where is he?” She tugged on his sleeve a little harder.

“He’s on his way to Kurenai-sensei’s. He’s taking a present to Asuka.”

Hinata pulled away from Kiba. “You… let him go alone?” She looked sad, like she was ready to cry though Kiba couldn’t understand why.

“Kiba, you bastard, you let your teammate go around by himself on Christmas Eve?” Naruto joked.

“YOU stay out of this!” Kiba snapped at Naruto. Naruto backed off, obviously surprised by Kiba’s strong reaction.

Hinata was about ready to burst. She looked at Kiba with pity, or maybe the pity was for Shino. She grabbed Naruto’s hand and began to walk the way Kiba had just come from.

“Naruto-kun, we’ve gotta find Shino-kun.” She looked at Kiba regretfully as though she were the one broken hearted. Naruto glanced quickly from Hinata to Kiba. He knew something was up though he didn’t know the details. He gave Hinata a nod and let himself be dragged away.

“Catch you later Kiba, Akamaru,” he waved with one hand.

Kiba didn’t reply. He called Akamaru to him, giving his teammate one last glance before he decided to let it go. “At least you won’t ever turn on me, right boy?” He let his fingers run through Akamaru’s soft long fur.

Akamaru whined.


* * *



It had been sometime since Kiba had been alone. The training grounds were eerily quiet without the sound of Akamaru’s paws against the ground, or the huffing of his heavy tongue panting for each breath. Kiba couldn’t help feeling a little vulnerable, like he was naked and there was nothing to hide behind.

He tried to ignore it, pushing away the discomfort and tugged the blindfold on tight. He willed his other senses away, pulling out five ninja stars and positioned himself. Judging by the scents around him- the sap of the trees, the dried paint on the target boards, he was able to calculate the distances between them. The metal felt cool against his fingers, chilled from the winter air. He took a deep breath, spacing his legs apart before launching into a turn. Timing himself carefully, he let each star fly, listening to the dull thud of each star hitting its mark.

He brought himself to an abrupt halt, waiting for the last star to hit, but was perplexed when he neither heard it hit the tree nor fall to the snow down below; it failed to make a sound, of any kind. Kiba ripped off the blindfold.

His concentration evaporated, his inner calm pitched into turmoil. “What do you want?” He stormed over and held out his hand. Shino held it in the air, letting the faded winter light reflect off the metal before handing it back to him. “Haven’t you already messed things up enough already?”

“You’re angry,” Shino stated.

“Damn right I’m angry! I’m pissed!” he pushed Shino and this time the taller boy didn’t dodge. “Everything is a mess thanks to you!” He turned and hurled the last star, hitting the mark across the field. “Hinata won’t even talk to me now! And she’s got stupid Uzumaki defending her like I’ve done something wrong! And you… I don’t know what to do.” His own comment subdued him. “I can’t treat you like a brother anymore. Everything has changed.” He turned away. “Everything.”

“Kiba,” Shino came up behind him. “Nothing has changed.” He put a hand on Kiba’s shoulder. “Just your perception. I’ll still be the same.”

“But you won’t!” Kiba yelled at him. “Because all those signs, all those… feelings can’t be ignored! I can’t ignore them! Because you deserve more than that!” Kiba fisted Shino’s collar and yanked him forward. “You deserve better!”

Shino wrapped his arms around Kiba. “So do you.”

Kiba’s face fell. His confusion was apparent, trying to wrap his mind around the sudden shift. He shoved Shino away.

“What do you mean?” he tried to laugh it off. “I have no lack of offers.” He tried to smile. “I’ve got a line of people waiting for a chance with me.”

Shino stepped closer taking a step forward for every one Kiba took back.

Shino leaned in towards him making sure Kiba was listening. “In your bed, not your heart.” Shino caressed Kiba’s cheek. “You deserve someone who wants more than just a notch on your bed post.” Kiba looked away. “Or did I find something you’re afraid of?” Kiba’s face was angry, ready to retort, but made no reply. “You loved Hinata.” Kiba scowled in attempted denial. “You loved her when we were younger, just barely teens.”

“You’re full of…”

“Even she noticed it.”

Kiba blushed, which was a feat, considering the red tattoos on his cheeks.

“But she never…” he began stammering.

“She didn’t return your feelings. It was always Uzumaki in her eyes.”

Kiba grimaced. “Always?” That one struck a nerve. He was unwilling to believe that.

Shino nodded. “It was he, not us that truly pushed her to be stronger.”

Kiba shook himself out of it and snorted. “Why are you telling me this?” He began to growl. He pushed Shino back to free himself. But Shino wasn’t fazed, placing his hands in his pockets and keeping an eye on his teammate.

“To prove that knowing each other’s feelings doesn’t have to change us. And should we choose to love, as more than teammates, or brothers, that it can only make us stronger.”

Kiba wanted to deny that, he wanted to tell Shino he was full of shit, but he couldn’t, because there was no arguing against it. It was his love and trust of Akamaru that made them such a good team. And his love and trust of his teammates… both of them…

“Stop running.” Shino’s voice stopped him in his tracks. “It’s not going to change anything.”

“Yeah?” Kiba replied hotly, “Well what if I like things how they are?” He looked at his feet. “What if I don’t want anything better?”

“Is it me? Is it my physique, or … these things, inside me?” Shino held up a hand letting one of his insects crawl out.

“Look Shino, I told you, your bugs don’t bother me and your looks are fine, from what I’ve seen anyways.” Kiba crossed his arms and stubbornly looked in the other direction. Shino snuck up on Kiba and wrapped his arms around his teammate from behind. Immediately Kiba began to react strongly, trying to pry his arms away. “Dude, Shino get off me!”

“Then what is it? If I don’t repulse you, then is it because you don’t care for me? Am I not good enough for your bed? Or are you afraid of waking up one morning and realizing that you actually give a damn about the person sleeping next to you?” Kiba stopped struggling. He was quiet, still, save for the rising of his chest with each breath. “Is love so truly frightening?” Shino whispered.

Kiba took a deep breath. He put his head back, leaning against Shino’s chest. “I don’t know how you manage not to be afraid.” He paused again. Shino waited for him to speak his piece, knowing he would soon hear his reasons. “It’s just,” Kiba paused. Shino held him a little tighter to encourage him. “I couldn’t stand to see Kurenai-sensei like that.” A pause. “She was so strong and so happy when she was with Asuma and then the bastard had to get himself killed.”

“It was hard on us all,” Shino replied.

“She was a goddamn wreck Shino! You know it and I. Even now, I feel like we walk on eggshells trying not to bring it up. The way she looks every time some dumb ass tells her how much Asuka looks like her father!” Kiba sniffled and rubbed his nose. “I…” he snorted cynically. “I don’t want that to be me. If that’s what love can do to you, I’ll take my chances without it.”

“Kiba,” Shino pulled him close, “as shinobi, we all face the possibility of death. Kurenai was lucky to have been so loved and to have received Asuka before he passed. Don’t think of this as a curse. Some day we’ll maybe die young or get married, have babies, ensure the survival of our clan. Don’t you think we owe it to ourselves to love, and I mean really love before we go out?”

Kiba was silent. He seemed to be pondering Shino’s words. Shino kept his arms around him and rocked them together slowly, enjoying the fact that Kiba had stopped trying to break free.

“I don’t just care for you Kiba. I love you, as much as I know how. And I’ll continue to do so, for as much as you’ll let me.”

“I dunno, Shino,” Kiba started again.

Shino let his arms slide, turning Kiba around to face him. “The Kiba I know isn’t a coward.” Kiba’s face contorted in annoyance. “And wouldn’t run away from something like feelings. So get it together Inuzuka. My heart is on the line.”

“Che. Well when you put it… WHAT the HELL is THAT?” Kiba stumbled backwards, pointing just above Shino’s head.

Shino looked up and smiled. His bugs lingered in the air, a branch of mistletoe in their grasp. “It’s called mistletoe and it means we have to kiss.”

Kiba raised an eyebrow. “You expect me to believe,” he was cut off by a swarm gently nudging him closer to Shino, “that happened naturally?”

Shino pulled Kiba towards him and leaned down. “No,” he rubbed Kiba’s cheek with his thumb, “but I wouldn’t be shinobi if I couldn’t figure out how to capture my target.” He leaned closer, his breath fogging in the slim space between them. Kiba’s eyes darted from his covered eyes to the mouth just visible over Shino’s high collar. He was hesitant, uncomfortable, but Shino’s words had gotten through to him. They rattled him and crept under his skin. He had been close to death more than once, always fortunate to survive, but always there was that moment when he thought it was the end; and as always, regret that flashed across his mind.

At times it was not telling Hinata his feelings, not letting his mother know how much he appreciated her, despite all the shit he made her put up with, and at times, it was not letting Shino know how much he really meant.

He had always held back, taking for granted that he had pulled through and that the people dear to him would always be there, but he realized, that Shino too had fears and that maybe he’d have to face feelings he wasn’t ready for, or maybe he’d die tomorrow and this would be his last chance.

It was a morbid way to live, but hell, it was better than cowardice.

Kiba raised a hand, tentatively fingering the zipper at the top of Shino’s jacket. Shino quirked a brow, but didn’t move away, silently questioning this unexpected response to his advances.

“You don’t expect me to kiss you with this stupid collar in the way, do you?” He slid the zipper down just enough to reveal Shino’s surprisingly full lips and pointed chin to the wintry air.

“It’s cold,” Shino stated.

Kiba smirked and chuckled. Closing the divide with all the nervousness and anticipation of a first time, he let his mouth slip into the contours of his teammate’s. It was nothing passionate, nothing toe curling, or particularly lust inciting and yet Kiba couldn’t help shivering where he stood, while two warm mouths pressed chastely together.

Their mouths parted slightly, held only a breath apart as Shino rested his forehead against Kiba’s. Shino’s cheeks were pink, the expression in his eyes shielded by his dark shades. Kiba pulled his hands up and slipped them off carefully, revealing big brown eyes looking down at him with something akin to delighted wonder. He seemed uncomfortable with his shades off, his pink cheeks turning a red that was more characteristic of Hinata while Kiba matched his gaze.

“I’m not used to being so exposed,” Shino explained.

Kiba smiled between them, raising his mouth once more to Shino’s. It felt odd to kiss someone so dear to him- a feeling so unfamiliar to him, and so inexplicably intimate. And when he pulled away and felt the slight tremors in his hands and knees, he knew he couldn’t blame it on the cold.

“You and me both,” he whispered between them. Shino chuckled that rare laugh and Kiba wondered if the pleasure rising from his belly was how Hinata felt every time she saw Uzumaki laughing, or how Kurenai felt when Asuma would give her those sheepish grins. Kiba lifted his thumb to trace Shino’s bottom lip, terrified to death of what he had started, and how impossible it was to turn back.

He almost pulled away, but Shino’s look turned serious. He caught Kiba’s wrist and rubbed his cheek against Kiba’s cold palm. “But I’m willing to get used to it.” Kiba felt a thrill run through his body. It was an offer of things that could be, of things that would come and that Kiba was sure Shino would not offer again. He flattened his palm against that warm cheek and nodded.

“Then so am I.”


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Happy Holidays~