Practical Jokes and Bunny Boxers

A/N: We are our own Betas and worst critics... Yay for two of the three madhatters! Written for kakanaru's rabbit/usagi challenge.

August 2008: A/N: There is an issue that needs to be addressed here. The author link listed above is incorrect. No, this isn't a glitch in aff, so please don't notify the mods in the forum. They are aware of it and it must stay as is. If you want to get to the co-author page for the two authors that wrote this story, please either search for SaiTwins. If you want to check out the individual authors, then search out FairyNiamh and/or Drivven Labyrinth.


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Kakashi could not believe it. He'd searched his entire apartment. There was not a single pair of his underwear anywhere! I am going to kill someone! He thought as he turned a murderous eye on the only pair of underclothes available. Someone had gotten into Kakashi's place and taken all his underwear in the time it had taken him to shower! This evil person had left one pair of boxers laid out on the bed. A pair of bright pink silk boxers with cute little fluffy white bunnies on it! He really was going to kill someone!

Normally it wouldn't matter. Normally he'd just go commando, but today was the mandatory fitting for new uniforms. They would all be lined up in front of everyone and expected to stand on a pedestal in their underwear, while the village tailors and their assistants measured them. If he stood there naked and insulted the merchants, and their employees, well Tsunade would decimate him. He was already running late. He had no choice. He had to put on those damn things and hope that he had time between all the stupid jounin meetings today to pick up some new underwear. He left his apartment sporting the cutest pair of undies ever with torturous bloody death on his mind.

Iruka tried not to fidget as he sat at his desk. He really did. He was always nervous on the bi-annual uniform fitting day, but today was so much worse. He could not believe his luck. How on earth had the cleaners lost all his underwear! And whose cute little puppy dog boxer briefs was he wearing right now?! He'd been rushed when he'd picked up his laundry yesterday afternoon. He'd had an early shift at the missions office, so he'd picked up the bag of clothing on his way home from the academy. He hadn't had time to check and make sure everything was there. Normally he used the laundry room in the basement of his apartment building, but the drain was plugged and the laundry room had been locked up until it was fixed.

This morning he woke up late, his alarm clock hadn't gone off and for whatever reason, the sun shining in his window hadn't woken him, like usual. He rushed around his apartment getting ready. He'd dug through the bag and only found one pair of underwear and they weren't even his! He'd felt uncomfortable about wearing a strangers underwear and had considered re-wearing the ones from the day before, but couldn't find them either. In his rush to get into the shower, he must have tossed them somewhere. He had no idea where. So now he was wearing a pair of dark blue form fitting boxer briefs with cute little brown and white floppy eared puppy dogs all over them. As soon as class was over he had to report for his fitting. He wanted to bang his head into the desk. He couldn't believe he'd have to get up in front of everyone like this.

Kakashi was cursing as he left his last meeting of the day. Someone needed to teach Gai how to keep his long winded ass quiet! Every meeting today had included that infuriating man and now Kakashi was late for his fitting. Gai being his usual 'helpful' self had offered to go along with him as a witness for his tardiness, so Kakashi couldn't even think of stopping to get new underwear. Gai would be lucky if he lived through this day.

Iruka turned the corner of the building and was promptly run over by a green, black, and tan blur. "OOOOF!" Was the only sound, just before THUD, and Iruka was on his back looking up at a very angry Kakashi. "Gai! You moron!" The green blur said something like 'healing power of youth', but Iruka couldn't be sure if he'd heard it correctly. Kakashi looked down at him. "Sorry Iruka-sensei. Gai is a moron." Kakashi offered his hand.

Iruka ignored it and climbed to his feet on his own. As he brushed himself off, he was reminded of exactly how rotten a day it had been. "You and your friend are unbelievable! Who runs through a building like that! It's worse than my students." He didn't even wait for an answer, he just threw the door open and stormed into the large meeting room. Kakashi resisted the urge to hit Iruka or someone else. It was an urge he'd been fighting all day!

Each man checked in and moved to separate parts of the room to await his name being called. Each one was still silently fuming. Silently but still noticeably. There was a little space of open area around each man, that no one seemed willing to enter. When Iruka heard his name he was so distracted by his anger that he didn't hear Kakashi's name being called as well. They both stepped up to the line at the same time and were jostled by the other. Iruka lost his temper first. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" He bellowed.

Kakashi followed suit. "Listen to me very carefully Umino, Iruka." Kakashi hissed. "I am a hair's breath away from beating the shit out of you. Don't push your luck." That was the wrong thing to say to the younger man. Iruka took a swing at Kakashi and the rest was a blur of motion as Kakashi tried not to kill the other teacher. He evaded a few times then lost his patience. He grabbed Iruka by the arm and used the man's own momentum to swing him into the nearest wall. At the last minute, Iruka twisted his body, planted both feet on the wall parallel to the ground and dove at Kakashi's legs. In the tight quarters, there wasn't enough room to move out of the way, so Kakashi squatted down and took the hit full on. They rolled backwards into unsuspecting shinobi and landed in a heap.

Genma and Raidou wrestled the still struggling Iruka away from a very pissed off Kakashi. Ibiki and Shikamaru were the ones who finally subdued Kakashi. They'd had to resort to jutsu. Kakashi was standing facing Ibiki. He had been completely captured by Shikamaru's shadow jutsu. "Let me go." He said in a low rumble.

"Oh you are going to go alright. You are going to report to the Hokage, immediately." Ibiki's voice always had that thin layer of threat in it. Kakashi nodded once and Shikamaru released him.

"Genma you go with Kakashi. Raidou you're with Iruka. I do not want a repeat of this en-route."

Iruka launched himself up from the floor and realized how much trouble they were both in. He wasn't even upset about it. Kakashi had done him a favor. He doubted that he would be back in time to be fitted today. He almost smiled.

Kakashi's mind had just come to the same conclusion and since he was masked, he did smile. No one would see anyway.

As they exited the room with their escorts, two pairs of shocked eyes followed them out. It was unbelievable. Who would have thought Iruka would pick a fight with Kakashi?! All their careful planning, all the scheming, and all they'd managed to do was get the two men into trouble. That was not at all what they'd intended.

The two younger men slipped out of the room quietly. They had already been measured and hadn't needed to stay. They'd stayed to see the show that they had planned. It was still unbelievable. How did it go so wrong?!

"What the hell was that?!" Kiba barked at Naruto as they watched the two older men being escorted out of the building.

"No clue." Naruto shook his spiky blond head. "Now what?"

Tsunade was in a very good mood today. She had just placed three large bets on the boat races in Wave Country and was feeling very confident about them. When Genma entered her office with two very rumpled teachers, she almost laughed. "What happened to you two?" Raidou shut the door and he and Genma stood off to the side looking a little concerned. The Hokage took all this in. "So you two have something to tell me?"

Iruka took a deep breath. "I was in a foul mood. I took offense at something incredibly stupid and behaved like a complete idiot. I attacked Kakashi, over noth-"

Tsunade interrupted him before he could finish. "You what?!?!" She was stunned. Iruka attacked Kakashi?! Iruka. Attacked. Kakashi. The three words just didn't fit together.

Iruka took another deep breath and stood up a little straighter for emphasis. "Yes Lady Hokage. I attacked Kakashi. It was stupid and disrespectful and I take full responsibility for my actions."

Kakashi cleared his throat. "I was also in a foul mood and offered offense unintentionally. I am also responsible and will bear the weight equally with Iruka-sensei."

Tsunade looked from one man to the other, stunned. She flopped back into her big chair and looked at both men with irritation in her face. "So the two of you had a bad day and behaved like three year olds. Is that really what I am hearing?"

Kakashi and Iruka exchanged embarrassed glances and mumbled "Yes ma'am" in unison.

CRASH

BANG

"Sorry!"

These sounds preceded a blur of blond, black, and orange through the door of the Hokage's office. "Grandma Tsunade!" Naruto beamed. "Wow! You look less old today! Did you up the jutsu or something?" The temperature in the office rose several degrees, especially near the Hokage.

"What. Do. You. Want. BRAT?!"

"Oh, yeah! Sorry! Um, Ibiki wants to get as many shinobi as possible measured today. Can you let these two go now and pound them into the dust afterward?" It wasn't a lie. He'd heard Ibiki say that very thing earlier today. He could almost feel panic radiating off of both Iruka and Kakashi. It made him more determined.

"Come on! It's not like these two make a habit of behaving like asses." He waved his hand at the two older shinobi. "Really if you compare them to most of the others, they were about due for it." At that moment Iruka could have strangled him for trying to 'help' him. Kakashi was already coming up with training scenarios to teach his former student a lesson in respect.

Naruto smiled his sweetest smile. The one that got on Tsunade's nerves most. "Please grandma, I don't want to be the one to tell Ibiki he has to set aside a special time to get these two fitted. I mean think of the extra charges and the tailors and the extra meeting you'll have to hold with them to arrange it and...... Don't you think you could come up with some kind of punishment and let them know what it is later?"

"Get out of my office and take those two with you. Go straight to the fittings and make sure that they are both finished today!" Her head was bowed and she was looking at them all through her lashes. Her arm was extended fully as she indicated the door with her index finger. On the outside she was the picture of a stern and powerful Hokage. Inside she was laughing. The little brat is up to something. I can smell it.

Naruto didn't fake his surprise very well, when they 'ran into' Kiba outside of the Hokage's office. However, the two older shinobi were too distracted to notice. Now it was Kiba, Naruto, Iruka, and Kakashi all walking back to the meeting room, so that Iruka and Kakashi could be measured for their new uniforms. Iruka was almost in a panic. Kakashi had resigned himself to the months of teasing that lay ahead.

When they entered the room, it actually contained more male shinobi than it had before, which was odd, because almost everyone who was in the village today had already been fitted. Iruka's heart skipped a beat as he saw men of all ranks gathered in the room. They were all watching him and Kakashi closely. He didn't know that news of their scuffle had spread quickly. He also didn't know that Kiba and Naruto had made sure people knew that the two brawling ninjas would be back later to be fitted. The majority of the men had come to see if there might be more fighting between the two unlikely combatants.

Kakashi was the first to be called. Apparently Ibiki was not taking any chances. He was keeping them separated as much as possible. The two tailors waiting to measure the men were shaking slightly. Kakashi shook his head and began to strip for a very large audience. Naruto and Kiba were in the front row. One standing on either side of Iruka. Naruto had to fight to keep the grin off of his face. Kiba was watching him and Iruka out of the corner of his eye. He figured their reactions would be the funniest. Kakashi removed his vest first, then the tight black shirt. The mask stayed where it was. With his back to the crowd, he unfastened his pants and only hesitated a moment before sliding them off his legs.

And the room exploded! There were gasps, followed by shouts, all being crushed by outrageous laughter!

Kakashi withstood it. He stepped up onto the block and waited for the shocked tailor and his assistant to begin. He moved as instructed by the tailor and it almost looked like he was preening for the crowd. His body was an amazing thing to behold, even through tears of laughter Naruto soaked it all up. Of course, he wasn't the only one. The room was filled with hungry eyed men.

Kiba looked at Iruka. The man looked like he was going to pass out. At first his face had gone white and his eyes bulged out of his head. Then all the blood in his body flooded into his head and he was as red as a beet.

Naruto was on the floor, rolled into a ball and crying he was laughing so hard. Kiba was sure he was going to pass out. He shook his head at Naruto and put a steadying hand on Iruka's shoulder. He was actually starting to feel a little bad about this, about what was about to happen, but one - it was too late and two - he really did want to see this.

Iruka was deafened by the time it was his turn. The laughter hadn't seemed to stop the entire time Kakashi had been up there. He stumbled almost blindly up to the block. He stripped out of his clothes as quickly as he could manage, wanting to get it all over with as soon as possible and get the hell out of there. There was no laughter when he dropped his pants to the floor, only gasps, but Iruka didn't notice. He stepped up to the block and stood with his back to the stunned crowd.

Naruto finally sat up from where he had been laying on the floor. He turned to see what everyone was staring at, expecting to see Iruka in a pair of boxers similar to Kakashi, but instead of loose silky material, the boxer briefs clung to the curves of Iruka's back side and upper thighs. He stared in open mouthed amazement at his 'adopted' older brother and good friend.

Iruka had a nice ass. Iruka had sexy muscled legs. Everyone had expected that of Kakashi, so it really hadn't been a shock, but Iruka had rendered an entire room full of men speechless. The tailor apparently asked Iruka to raise his arms, because he was holding them up, resting his fore arms on top of his head. This showed the muscles of his tan back off to advantage.

"Kiba, you bastard." Naruto breathed under his breath. "I am going to kill you for this."

"What?" Kiba whispered back. "You knew I was going to prank Iruka when you pranked Kakashi."

"Prank him, Kiba, not put him on fucking display as some sex god or sex kitten, depending on which bastard is looking at him right now!" Naruto was getting pissed. Kiba knew how protective he was of Iruka. That was the only reason he hadn't been pissed when Kiba had been determined to prank Iruka and not Genma or Shikamaru or someone like that.

He thought Kiba knew better! "Boxers Kiba! Damn it they were supposed to be boxers!" They were still whispering, but weren't paying attention. Kakashi was dressed now and close enough to hear the whole conversation.

"Boxers, boxer briefs? What's the difference?"

"The difference is that you can see his damn pulse!" Naruto growled.

Kiba smiled a lecherous smile and never once took his eyes off Iruka. "He looks good, our shy academy teacher looks damn good. Besides, do you know how hard it was to find adult underwear with puppies on them?"

Naruto started growling for real and rose up off of the floor. Kiba turned to face him and made eye contact with Kakashi, standing just behind an angry oblivious Naruto. He smirked. "Are you honestly saying you weren't turned on by watching Kakashi a minute ago. Prank aside, it turned you on to see him up there, on display like that, didn't it?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the dog nin, but Kiba just smiled at Naruto.

"You fucking know it did." Naruto growled softly. "You know I want him. But, you bastard! You never told me you wanted Iruka like that!"

"Why would I? So you could go supernova on me? No thanks, I like my skin on my bones, not melted into them."

Naruto moved toward him only to be held back by a strong gloved hand. "I think you and I need to talk." Kakashi whispered in his ear. Naruto yelped, broke free, and ran as fast as he could out of the room. Kakashi caught Kiba with a back handed fist as he sped after Naruto. Kiba only managed to half dodge the blow and ended up sprawled at Iruka's feet as the man was re-dressing.

"Hi, Iruka. How's it going?" Kiba drawled with a lazy smirk.

"I really don't want to know what's going on with those two Kiba. I really don't." Iruka dressed quickly and left the room before his blush could set fire to his clothes.

Crap, I'm in for it, now. Naruto thought as he ran towards the training grounds hoping that he would be able to find a place to hide before Kakashi caught up with him. He looked back over his shoulder and increased his speed even more as he noticed Kakashi gaining on him. "Sorry." Naruto yelled as he bumped into one of the villagers in the marketplace, spinning him around, on his way to the training grounds. Kakashi slowed his pace a very minute amount, but enough so that he could steady the villager Naruto spun instead of sending him spinning again.

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief when he reached training grounds 9. There hadn't been any sign of Kakashi since he slowed down to help the villager. Naruto collapsed against the tree breathing heavily. As soon as Naruto relaxed his guard, Kakashi popped in front of him with the usual cloud of smoke. Before Naruto could retaliate, Kakashi lifted Naruto and pushed him against the tree. Naruto cowered slightly afraid of what Kakashi might do now that he had caught him. Holding Naruto to the tree with his body, Kakashi puffed up his chest in a threatening manner. "So you think I'm hot?" He teased. He already knew the answer since he had overheard Kiba and Naruto talking, but he wanted to hear it from Naruto's mouth.

Naruto looked up, shocked. He had expected Kakashi to start berating him for embarrassing him in front of everyone else. He met Kakashi's eyes. Mesmerized and afraid to break the gaze for fear Kakashi would get angry then, Naruto couldn't do anything but whisper, "Yes. How did you guess?"

"I was close enough to you and Kiba that it would have been very hard for you to prevent me from hearing."

"Crap! How much did you hear?"

"Everything, my little Naru-chan, everything." Kakashi smiled a bit deviously though Naruto couldn't see it. He only heard the threat in Kakashi's tone. "Including the fact that it's your fault that all I was wearing earlier was these Pink Bunny Boxers." He punctuated the last three words by forcing his knee between Naruto's legs, a little more with each angry breath.

"Now, exactly how should I punish you?" Kakashi asked in far too mild a tone, all the while rubbing his knee against the crotch of Naruto's tightening pants. Naruto bit back a groan. He wanted to tell Kakashi to fuck his brains out as punishment, but there was just no way he was going to, say that, out loud to HIM. Kakashi pretended to think a moment. He wanted to see Naruto sweat. He wanted to get a little back for the boxers prank, before he ensured that they both got a little something that he now knew they both wanted. "Hmm, I wonder what Tsunade and the delegation from the Water Nation would think if they found you staked out naked, spread eagle, and covered in chocolate pudding in the middle of their meeting room?

Kakashi's grip on him had loosened and he seemed distracted. Naruto took this opportunity to make the necessary hand signs. Three clones jumped Kakashi from behind and gave Naruto the few precious seconds he needed to escape. "I'm soooooorrrrrrrry!" Was all Kakashi heard as he pretended to race after his young friend. Once the clones disappeared in a cloud of smoke, he settled down against a tree with his book to think of the perfect way to torture his friend and if he had his way, soon to be lover.

Naruto barricaded himself in his apartment, setting traps everywhere! He climbed under the covers and tried not to think about anything. This really was the worst prank he had ever pulled! He was so upset that he'd forgotten about killing Kiba.