Three 6 Nine

Welcome to the story ladies and gentlemen. I would like to just provide a small introduction. I am ktaztrofee and I’ll be your host for the duration of this show. Although this is not my first experience with fanfiction, this would be my very first production. As such, I would like to ask the audience to please refrain from taking pictures and smoking cigarettes that induces FLAMES. If you have the urge, please discreetly exit the premises and carry on your merry way should this not be your cup of tea. All other constructive comments will be accepted accordingly.

A brief note: this story began long before the where the actual Naruto storyline is. Therefore, this will be an AU/AT storyline. Because it will probably be a composite of different categories, I am placing it under General to be safe.

Now without further ado...please sit back and enjoy the story.

Prologue


Blood.

Everywhere you looked there was blood. All the nooks and crannies filled with the putrid fluid belonging to both sides of the enemy line.

Well...make that from the three sides of the enemy triangle.

It seems the battle went on for ages with each side refusing to show the first sign of fatigue. Doing so would inevitably prove to be fatal, especially when fighting two enemies at once.

A pair of red wheel-spinning eyes was all that could be seen as the owner moved as swiftly as a shadow weaving through the various fights taking place. The target preoccupied with maintaining control over the enemies and himself to sense the oncoming danger. Ten feet.

Not a single person there was capable of escaping the blood bath. Shinobi ranging from the elite ANBU to pre-Genin academy students were dropping like flies left and right. The shadow, of course, paid no mind as the focus was zeroed in on one objective. Seven feet.

This carnage is the signal for the long-awaited epic battle. The climatic peak of this was that each side was either anticipating or dreading. Four feet. Personally the dark figure knew no other joy than this. Two and a half feet.

Poised to strike, the figure tensed his muscles while the three black drops in his eyes connected giving new definition to power and evil. Two steps... ’Dead’.

One more step forward and...

SWISH! BOOM!

Five feet back.

If it weren’t against his nature, the shadow would have a series of obscenities running through his thoughts.

Red...and black. Another pair of wheels were looking right back at him.

If it hadn’t been for his years of discipline, said obscenities might have uncontrollably slipped from his tight-lipped mouth. But damn if this did not pull on his last thread of control.

Both Sharingan users stood up slowly to their full height. The original target of the “shadow” one moved a couple of feet away to handle more enemies.

‘Kuso.’ At least no one else can hear his thoughts.

Although, he began to question that as the other pair of eyes that showed blatant hatred held a barely discernable hint of amusement at his expense. Eyes that taunted him with the knowledge that their owner was the cause of his predicament.

Itachi knew how to wipe off that irritating look...in more ways than one.

“Otouto.”

The amusement was gone in a flash with the hatred dialed up to full blast.

With a condescending smirk that only an Uchiha can pull off, Itachi regarded his younger brother in a slightly thoughtful manner, though his outward appearance did not show it.

‘It seems his training with the snake might have made some improvements...How pathetic.’

As Itachi was sizing his brother up, he couldn’t help but feel disgusted with a possible smidgen of disappointment at the fact that his last living relative was only able to come up with the useless snake Sannin as an answer to his problem. Itachi had to restrain himself from providing his sibling with a look of pity...as it was he was fighting a losing battle with the sweat-drop that was attempting to form. Had it been anyone other than Itachi in his situation, they would be hugging their knees in a corner relentlessly banging their head crying at the prospect of having anything in common with someone like his brother let alone genes...at least this is what Itachi figured while myriads of different last names passed through his mind at a mile a minute. A name change was definitely, at the very least, in order.

“Have you finally something worth my time to show me little brother?” Might as well humor him while they were both still Uchihas.

Itachi idly watched the mounting rage emanating from the younger Uchiha...until it dissipated into a smirk.

Itachi imperceptibly frowned.

The arrogant amusement in Sasuke’s eyes was more pronounced than before. “Considering I easily derailed you on your path without you noticing until the final second...I suppose it is more than evident where my skills stand in relation to yours.”

Oh ho. This was taking sibling rivalry to a new plane. Fine.

Itachi’s eyes slightly narrowed. “I told you hate me more, not become even more idiotic with an over-inflated head. Foolish brother, meaningless words never saved anyone from a death sentence, especially for one as weak as yourself.”

If dagger glares could kill, Itachi would be suffering from Prometheus’ curse (1). “And words such as yours only serve to speed your timely demise with an added bonus of torture before hand.” SWISH. Sasuke flitted right behind Itachi.

CLASH! The inevitable battle of the last Uchihas began.

~*~

One large, white, bomb-spitting bird, plus two summoned, mountain-sized animals equals...a new landscape.

A new landscaped plus one royally pissed Hokage equals three more body bags.

Looking at the imbeciles, also known as two of the legendary Sannins (even if one is supposed to be an ally) and a bomb-trigger happy Akatsuki member, was enough to give Tsunade a tick mark the size of the Hokage mountain. With each one trying to out-do the other two with bigger and badder arsenals, Tsunade could not fathom how grown, highly regarded/notorious and skilled shinobi...were reduced to eight-year old boys singing “anything you can do I can do better...I can do anything better than you!” when put in the same sandbox.

‘Over-compensating for something?’ Judging from the sizes of their “toys”, their “something” had to be pitiful Tsunade concluded. “Ugh...men...”

Yep. Heads were going to roll.

A bomb aimed for Jiraiya while Manda moved in to strike caused Gamabunta to jump out of the way, which lead to:


1. The bomb making a colossal crater near village homes.
2. Gamabunta’s jump destroying the other half of the already decimated forest.
3. Manda missing and colliding head first into the Hokage tower taking out a quarter of the building.

Eyebrow twitch. Balls might as well fly while we’re at it.

Tsunade was about to go in there to turn the testosterone level down a couple of notches when another figure in a billowing cloud-adorned cloak cut her off. The Hokage simply glared.

“Ah, ah, ah Hokage-sama. We wouldn’t want Konoha thinking they’re gaining the advantage by having you join them now would we?” While Sasori was moving in position to attack, another figure joined the group. Both shinobi directed their gazes to the newcomer. If Tsunade’s look grew any grimmer, not even her youth-inducing jutsu will help her.

Adjusting his glasses, Kabuto merely observed his two soon-to-be opponents. “I wouldn’t worry too much about Konoha if I were you Sasori-sama.” Turning his gaze to Tsunade, “Looks like I have the pleasure of facing you once more Hokage-sama. Please fell free to stand aside and collect yourself as I dispatch this one before I move on to you. After all,” pushing up his glasses, “much blood will be shed tonight. We wouldn’t want another...episode on your part when we finally have another opportunity to meet in battle ne?

The way Sasori was glaring, Kabuto might as well been a puddle of goo at this point. Tsunade must have been too far in the emotions department that it felt as though all her feelings simply evaporated. She continued to regard each male blandly as it ironically reminded her of how the world of shinobi made if difficult for an aspiring kunoichi to survive playing with the big boys. But she wasn’t a Sannin and a Hokage for nothing.

Tsunade closed her eyes and began to chuckle. The two men looked at her with slight curiosity. She looked up at the males with a fist on her hip and her other hand coming up with her thumb outward facing behind her pointing in the direction of the Hokage mountain. With a smirk, she simply said, “Let me show you boys why they say you should never send men to do a woman’s job.”

In their corner, the three imbeciles were still at it while three more were getting ready to show them up. Oh yes...in a five to one testosterone to estrogen ratio...the odds looked pretty damn good. Bring it.

~*~

Ridiculous. Abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous.

If time allowed her just one minute, she would take it to gape at the scenario before her. Seriously, if there was ever a “what the fuck?!” type of situation, this had to be it. In all honestly, it doesn’t take an academically brilliant ninja student to know the basics of warfare and battles. And she was textbook.

But a three-fucking-sided war?!

Do you have to even be a ninja to wonder if there’s something wrong with that image? Sure, you try to eliminate the two enemies as best you can, but how do you do that when you’re attacking one while the other is trying to kill you? Where in all the lessons that have been given did it say what to do when your two enemies are fighting each other? Do you help one of them out? Does that enemy then become an ally-enemy? If so, then how the hell do you choose which one to help? Then, when all is said and done, do you proceed to beat the shit out of your enemy who is, by the way, kind of an ally now?! Where is the fucking TEXTBOOK?!?!

Sakura. Was. Losing it.

‘Must be the stench of blood...’ she thought as she looked over to the warring Uchihas and then the area of the Sannins. ‘...among other things.’

Ironic when you spend your life learning the effective ways of being a ninja to protect your village and others...yet the protocol of shinobi boiled down to: when shit happens...level everything in a six-mile radius.

Nothing made sense anymore. There were double standards being pulled out of everyone’s asses. Even the double standards had double standards! The only thing that seemed to remain true was that shinobi lived to fight.

Sakura could have laughed her toenails off at the absurdity of it all. What the hell was she risking her life for? What was she fighting for? Some half-baked nonsense called ideals to preserve the honor that serve to suffocate them throughout their lives? They are adults the moment they’re conceived because if they’re not, they’re just another name on the stone (2).

Sakura spun on her heel, grabbed the arm aiming for her face while slamming her taut wrist into the back of the enemy’s neck to knock him unconscious.

Or was that an ally?

Frankly, Sakura couldn’t tell the difference. For all she knew, she could have been taking down her Konoha comrades.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on perspective, she caught Kiba in the corner holding his injured leg as an enemy held the kunai up to aim for the kill. Sakura moved in a flash and grabbed the arm while twisting the wrist making the figure cry out in pain and drop the weapon. She roughly pulled him backwards and sent a powerful chakra-filled kick to his stomach that made him slide far across the battlefield. Sakura turned her attention to Kiba and knelt down beside him to assess the damage. She automatically began healing the gash along the dog master’s left leg.

“Che,” Kiba muttered and then averted his gaze, “that wasn’t even necessary.”

Sakura blankly looked at Kiba. “Shut the fuck up you pathetic excuse for a mutt,” was her bland response as she looked back down to his injury.

He turned his eyes to look at her. Then she looked up into his eyes. They stared at one another for a couple of seconds with sparkles of amusement dancing in their gazes.

‘Thanks for having my back.’

‘Anytime. That’s what comrades are for.’

They turned to watch the other fights of their friends with Team 10 taking out a group of Oto nins, the Hyuugas fighting back-to-back creating an impenetrable defense, and Shino, Ten Ten, and Lee worked with each other to eliminate all who approached.

There was no honor in dying a shinobi. It didn’t make sense to sacrifice your life for a comrade when it just will be in vain when they do the same for another. An endless, bloody cycle. It didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense anymore. But no one said that it had to.

Sakura smiled. The enemies were the enemies...and her friends were for her to protect. It didn’t make sense, but that was shinobi logic. No—that was human logic. You don’t need a textbook for that.

~*~

Holy. Shit.

Oh. Hell no.

How?

How...how was it...

How...in the name of all that is good as ramen on this planet...was this possible? How?

How did all this fucking shit...make sense to him? On top of that, how is it possible that he was the only one to make sense of it? Because if someone else had figured it out, then things would be different.

‘And I’m supposed to be the dobe,’ Naruto thought sarcastically while conjuring another set of Kage Bunshins to handle the relentless Oto nins.

To say that Naruto was pissed...frustrated...with a dash of dumbfounded is like saying Tsunade was old...the Uchihas were homicidal...Kakashi was a Class A certified pervert...

...unjustifiable understatements...

Now Naruto was very well aware of the fact that he was not stupid. Granted, he had his moments where the “dobe” title was well-deserved, but he was by no means truly a dead-last.

Well, considering he was the only one to put the colors of the rubix cube together in this situation...he might be dead-last on anyone’s expectation of figuring out anything of this magnitude. Hell, he was probably dead-last on anyone’s list of who knew what a rubix cube was.

So now that the dumbfounded portion of Naruto’s state was examined, the pissed and frustrated should be covered. But with Naruto...a month and three weeks could cover the many reasons why he felt these two things.

He dodged three shuriken flying towards his chest while two clones appeared behind the Oto Chuunins and stabbed them. To his left, he saw two Akatsuki members heading straight for him and his clones. Immediately, Naruto threw two kunai in their direction, but of course they dodged by jumping backwards as the two kunai landed a foot in front of them.

BOOM!

...exploding tags are fun...

Whoever invented them was brilliant...almost as brilliant as the one who invented ramen...almost.

But it could not have been someone from Konoha, the Kyuubi vessel concluded. After all, that would imply that said Konoha shinobi was brilliant...

...which would mean he was a fucking genius...

Only he figured it out. That’s why he was frustrated.

Only he figured out...that this was all just one...twisted...game...

This is why he is pissed.

When he finally managed to put the pieces together, the first thing he did was puke his guts out. All this time...it was just a fucking game. So many lives lost...so much bloodshed, fractured psyches, and then some...an ever-increasing sense of pain generation to generation...

He was beyond disgusted.

But he was so impressed at the same time.

To think that someone or someones...was able to pull this shit off.

It was incredible.

Naruto knew the moment he was able to recreate the bigger picture that...they were screwed. BIG. TIME.

In fact, if he was not mistaken, Konoha has been nicely screwed at least four times according to history. When looking at these events, they really had no correlation to each other except for two. But as a whole, there was no connection between the four.

A shinobi must look beneath the underneath.

He almost wished he didn’t.

After all, it was too complicated...too calculated...but in the end, it was too good. All this time they were mere pieces to a game...each moved strategically by an omnipotent entity to make the game more interesting. Except...this entity played alone.

Fate...was a bitch and a half.

That’s right. He called that omnipotent entity “Fate”. Not because it seemed appropriate. Not even in honor of the Hyuuga.

He just couldn’t think of anything else to call it. Besides...he didn’t know what omnipotent meant.

Meh...he’s still a dobe at heart.

But even if he was able to figure all this out, he only merely scraped the surface of the situation...this he knew. There were still many things that he needed to find out...to discover...to uncover...

If one were to look at him right now, one would think that he is fighting in his usual manner: a half-assed reckless style.

Naruto, however...this newly enlightened Naruto...knew what he was doing...and for the first time, he was actually...strategizing.

He knew it was here. Somewhere. Lurking. Watching. He had to find it.

With the help of his Kage Bunshins, he was able to make a path to the center of all this chaos. He couldn’t specifically pinpoint the location of where it was, but he knew that it was here somewhere. He just had to find it.

North, South, East, and West. 360°. Everywhere there was fighting. Sporadic, sloppy, and unorganized fighting. Yet, even then he noticed it...noticed the pattern. This was all part of the game. He knew how to find it.

He jumped up to the highest standing building in the center of the battlefield as if getting a bird’s eye view of all the fights. With eyes closed and brows scrunching in steady concentration, the fox nin delved deep in his mind to access the one thing that would probably bring it out.

‘If I can’t find it, let it find me.’

Instantly, eyes snapped open revealing angry red-covering slitted pupils as a massive amount of red chakra swirled about him.

Some of the enemy nin paused in their attacks to direct their attention to the sudden surge of power...bad move. Konoha’s nins immediately took advantage of the distraction to even the odds.

As his whisker marks grew darker and nails longer, Naruto brought his arms to cross protectively over his chest while placing all focus on controlling the chakra. More and more chakra kept spewing out of the blond.

At this point, the Kyuubi container had enough chakra coming out to power all of Konoha. This practically made all of the fighting stop.

‘Naruto...what are you doing?’

‘What the hell do you think you’re doing gaki?!’

‘Hn. What are you trying to prove dobe?’

Everyone in the vicinity was simply hypnotized by the intoxicating power. Tsunade could have flashed while Orochimaru mooned everyone and no one would even blink.

Thinking back on his training, Naruto was doing his best to...imitate something he knew well enough. ‘More power...control direction...and contain it...’ is what he kept chanting to himself.

...And...bingo.

Suddenly, everyone who knew Naruto well enough, at least in terms of fighting style, had widened their eyes. The sight before them surpassed anything anyone has ever witnessed.


There stood the Kyuubi nin...completely wrapped around a prodigious ball of whirling chakra as if...

...as if...it were one...large...Rasengan.

If they didn’t do it physically, then everyone mentally became slack-jawed.

‘Scratch that,’ Sakura thought, ‘this is definitely a what the fuck scene.’

Tsunade was floored. She thought she had seen everything.

If she were not seeing this with her own two eyes, she would have thought this was a good story...or at the very least a stupid joke.

Sasuke smirked. ‘Still trying to prove your worth? Why does it still matter to you? You’ll just be disappointed...’ Sasuke noted bitterly while sparing a quick glance to Itachi whose attention was raptly on Sasuke’s former teammate. Sasuke swiftly returned his gaze back to the dobe to see what else the number one surprising ninja had up his sleeve.

Said ninja kept his eyes closed and arms tightly against him as the dangerous chakra swirled around him. Then, without warning, he eyes snapped open. With one treacherously long scream, he threw his arms outward to his sides. Suddenly, the oversized Rasengan burst into smaller forms and flew outward in all directions hitting the outskirts of the village away from everyone observing.

Everything stilled. If there was a picture to define shell-shocked, it had to be the look on every single face that watched the scene unfold before them.

The blond merely returned to his old self and calmly began observing around him only moving his eyes from side to side...waiting...and watching...

A couple of minutes passed and still there was no movement as if all knew that disturbing the stillness was not a bright idea.

Then it happened.

Naruto shot his eyes forward, which then slight widened.

Everyone felt it...the instant change of atmosphere. Whether they were of Akatsuki, Oto, or Konoha...they all tensed and turned in the direction that the blond was facing. What. The. Fuck?!

There it was. A dark silhouette in the distance in the shape of...a head. The size was approximately the size of one the Hokage’s on the mountain.

...A floating...big...head...

Nope. No sense.

Silence like no other fell upon everyone as they stared at the figure. What the hell was it anyway? More importantly, how the hell did Naruto do that?!

As if by magic, everyone suddenly became aware of the staring contest between the blond and the bodiless head. Each person was looking back and forth between the two trying to establish the connection.

Then...the unthinkable happened...

It spoke.

“So...you have noticed...” was the baritone megaphone voice.

“Yeah...” was all that was Naruto’s response.

The head then seemed to just...laugh...or so it sounded.

“Very well...and?”

Naruto blankly looked at the figure before him. He knew what he wanted—no, what he had to do. It was no longer a question of wanting to back out or not...he didn’t even want to anyway.

“You’re pretty good. You played every soul before you, including mine, very well,” the blond said while looking at all the others below. Then he returned his gaze to the head. “But there is always someone better.”

At this point, everyone was lost. Forget the fact that Naruto turned himself to a human Rasengan...forget the fact that they were all trying to kill each other twenty minutes ago...forget that there’s a floating, talking head. The conversation between the blond and the head was priority on their list after Naruto seemed to address all of them.

The head did not react in the slightest except with one word: “Oh?”

“You’ve made your moves with the thought that no one would catch on. Mistake number one. You’ve been too comfortable in the knowledge that you held control. Mistake number two.”

“So, now you claim to know the game?”

Naruto crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head slightly regarding the head. “Yes. I do.”

“And now what?”

Naruto smirked. He brought his arms up towards the back of his head. Reaching for the knot behind his head, he pulled at the end string to loosen the hold. The hitai-ate slipped from his forehead to his hand all the while he was staring at the figure before him.

The hovering head laughed whole-heartedly at the gestured as the image of the silhouette started to fade. All that was said was, “Good. Let’s play.” And the head was gone.

Naruto then turned around to regard everyone below him...from enemy to his comrades. His last gaze fell upon Sasuke as they stared at each other for a minute or two. Finally, the blond tore his gaze away to look down at his hitai-ate in his hand. He then turned to look at Tsunade while she gazed back intently. Then without warning...

...he threw it...

....he threw his hitai-ate at her...

She caught it deftly barely concealing the look of shock as with everyone else. He turned to face everyone to say one thing:

“I’ve made my move. Now what’s yours?”

And then he vanished without a trace.




(1) The story of Prometheus is part of the Greek mythology. Prometheus was said to be condemned by the Gods by being chained and having his liver and such eaten by eagle(s) (not sure if there was one or more), which of course killed him. Only catch is he would be alive the next day and suffer the same treatment. Yeah...very nasty fate...
(2) The stone is in reference to the memorial stone. In other words, if one is not an “adult” in character...they will automatically get killed for being naive and such.

Alas...stay tuned for the next chapter. R&R!