Bitch Nights

Disclaimer: Everything you recognize from the Naruto universe belongs to a much greater man than I’ll ever be . . . especially since I’m a woman. In any case, I don’t own, so you don’t sue, okay? Arigato gozaimasu!

A/N: Hi! Welcome to my very first ever Naruto fic. I’ll go ahead and warn you, I haven’t seen too much of the later stuff in Naruto, because about the time that I’d downloaded enough of the episodes to form a cohesive series(there are some episodes I can’t seem to be able to find online), my computer DIED. I have another one on the way via Fed-Ex, so my sister and I can continue our Naruto obsession, then.

It’s just a fair warning, though, that some things may not quite hold up to canon, but if I discover something in the future that bugs me enough, I can always go back and revise parts of it. Oh, and this is going to be a foursome fic, I think(my muses are creative, but they don’t usually tell me shit ahead of time), so if that offends you . . . what the hell are you doing in AFF’s Threesome/Moresome section anyway, you masochist?!?

Oh, and the computer I'm on seems to have an aversion to uploading my fics, so please excuse the poor formatting. I'm going to fix it once the new computer comes in, promise!


Bitch Nights

By Blackwidina


Sakura sat quietly on the cool tiled roof of her apartment building, legs dangling over the edge. Directly beneath her was the specially designed ledge to her living room window. You could always tell which buildings were designed for shinobi. Konoha architects seemed to understand the almost compulsive desire to avoid using the front door for anything.

Inside, Sakura knew everything was ready for her teammates’ arrival. For Haruno Sakura, Team Kakashi, minus Yamato, was her very reason for being. They were her closest friends, her family, even more so than her parents. They understood her, respected her. And she loved them, trained with them, mother-henned them and generally made them the center of her life.

Yamato had been on this list for a short while, but as he’d gradually been returned to his original duties, the team had seen less and less of him until, finally, he was a mere friend. Which was fine; they stayed close to their friends, from the original Rookie Nine to the group of older ninja like Iruka and Kurenai. Hell, they even stayed close to Lee and Gai, and those two were enough to turn the stomachs of almost anyone forced to share a dinner table with them. Except, of course, for Naruto and Choji, whose appetites were unconquerable. But Yamato simply wasn’t on their team anymore. He had his own life, his own duties.

Sasuke’s replacement, Sai, was another story. Sakura knew that Kakashi, Naruto and herself were some of the first real bonds the pale boy had had since his ‘brother,’ and, rather like Naruto, he would die rather then lose them. That in itself was the defining difference between Sai and the one he’d been intended to replace. Sasuke was willing to do almost anything to sever the bonds he had with others. Sai, trained to be an emotionless weapon, didn’t always understand his need to be close to his teammates, but he still tried. Together, Team Kakashi had worked with Sai, gradually improving on his emotional range and manners-though he still had a tendency to revert to being an ass when stressed or confused.

Naruto and Kakashi . . . Sakura smiled to herself. Naruto had left for two and a half years with Jiraiya, hoping to return strong enough to bring his best friend and rival back. Her former sensei had returned to active mission status, and, being in high demand as The Great Hatake Kakashi, Sharingan Extraordinaire (as Naruto so poetically put it), had been so busy that he’d almost totally dropped out of her life. She hadn’t even seen him unless she happened to be in Tsunade’s office when he dropped off mission reports. They’d missed so much then, but ultimately, it had been to her advantage. She still remembered the utterly shell-shocked looks on their faces when she’d displayed her chakra-enhanced strength. It gave her immense satisfaction to know that she wasn’t the helpless little girl that she’d once been. That she’d grown so much stronger without them noticing.

Indeed, she thought that the time away from both of them, from all of them, Sasuke included, had done her a world of good. Rather than watching helplessly as her two teammates improved in leaps and bounds to her stumbling starts, she’d been trained not only by Tsunade, a powerful woman in her own right, but by Shizune, who was NOT actually strong, so much as clever. It had helped to learn that even without monstrous amounts of chakra or a bloodline limit, that she could still be a strong kunoichi. Tsunade had taught her how to harness her perfect chakra control to enhance her strength, yes, but Shizune had taught her how to do other things, like how to use ordinary objects as deadly weapons. How to conceal kunai and shuriken, and give away the positions of neither. Tsunade had taught her how to make the most of her chakra and physical abilities. Shizune had taught her how to use her brilliant mind to its fullest.

It had meant the world to her to hear both Kakashi and Naruto acknowledge her as a strong kunoichi. They’d told her when they’d first met up again, after Naruto’s return to Konoha. And they reaffirmed it every time they took her on a mission, rather than suggest she stay behind. They included her, trusted her, asked her opinion. She was ‘one of the guys,’ and she’d never been happier.

Sakura shook herself out of her reverie at this point, smiling. She’d come out here for some fresh air and to try and cheer herself up, and, as always, thoughts of ‘her boys’ always worked. Sensing a familiar chakra signature to her left, she glanced over as a pair of jounin pants and ninja sandals walked over to the edge of the roof.

“Yo.”

“Yo yourself, Kakashi-san.” mocked Sakura. She looked up to see the man holding a paper sack. “I see you brought the alcohol.”

He gave her a happy eye crease. It made her think for a second how little he had changed since she’d met him at age 24. He was 30, now, and it seemed he hadn’t aged a day, while she, Naruto and Sai were still growing into themselves. Well, maybe not Sai so much. He was still so pale and blank, rather like the scrolls he used to summon creatures from. But even he was just a little taller, a little more defined in the face.

Kakashi might as well have stepped out of their first team photo, the one with a pissy Sasuke and Naruto, and a love-stricken, pink-haired little fangirl she dimly recognized as herself. Same jounin uniform, same hitai-ate, slanted over the Sharingan that Obito had bequeathed him all those years ago. Yes, he’d finally told them the story, a little less than a year before, on a night very much like this one.

Tonight was Bitch Night.

She never really knew who’d given it that name, or if it was even official, but she’d been the one that started the now-traditional get-togethers between the Team K members. It had begun after another-failed-attempt to bring Sasuke home, about a year after Naruto’s return to the village. Quite simply, their source, the one they’d put their faith in and dropped everything to follow-was wrong. Well, that, and they’d run out of money-though Sakura secretly suspected that Tsunade intentionally shorted their budget, just to make sure they’d come home once in a while.

Sai and Kakashi had parted ways from the foursome at the village gates, and Naruto had walked Sakura home. Both of them had been tired and more than a little depressed. She, being a woman, was used to drowning her sorrows with sugar, and had invited Naruto inside. Before the night was over, they’d laughed, cried and demolished ¾ of a gallon of triple chocolate fudge ice cream.

And they’d bitched. A lot. About Sasuke being so hard to find. About Kakashi being team leader, and thus an utter asshole for waking them up before dawn(though if they had been leader, they’d have done the same.) About Sai’s complete lack of etiquette. About Tsunade being so stingy with the mission budget for something so damned important. Anything and everything became the subject of the bitching session.

It was great.

Not long after, on a particularly bad day, they’d invited Sai and Kakashi. And they came. And somehow, by some miracle, about 2/3 of the way through the ice cream, they ended up doing it again. Bitching. Even Kakashi. Apparently, he couldn’t quite maintain his aloofness while devouring a triple fudge sundae with sprinkles.

And thus, the tradition was begun. If someone had a bad day, they simply went to the nearest convenience store and bought ice cream. A pint, minimum, for each person. Triple fudge for Sakura, chocolate chip cookie dough for Naruto, Oreo for Sai and chocolate-covered cherry or mint chocolate chip(since the former was apparently seasonal) for Kakashi. The sound of ice cream ringing up at the cash register would somehow send up an invisible bat signal to the rest of the team, and they’d show up at the injured party’s house, loaded with toppings and snack cakes. And ramen. Couldn’t forget the damn ramen.

Somehow, the combination of sugar and the utter trust they had in each other opened up a whole new level of communication. They’d shared everything. Kakashi had shared the story of how he’d lost his teammates, and finally, finally, they had seen his face. At which point, Sakura had nearly swooned like the little girl she used to be. Upon recovery, she sternly forbade her former sensei to ever reveal his face outside of a Bitch Night, because she’d never get anything done otherwise. Which had brought the first blush they’d ever actually been able to see over Kakashi’s face.

Naruto had told them all about growing up alone, as the Kyuubi vessel. Sai had related his experiences in ROOT. Sakura had confessed how difficult it was to have a family that had produced no ninjas in over six generation. The first time she’d come home with her target’s blood staining her clothes, her mother had honest-to-God fainted, and her father had been furious that his ‘little cherry blossom’ had done such a thing. They’d actually gone to Tsunade to try and get Sakura removed from the ranks.

Tsunade had, very politely, told them exactly where they could shove it.

But the most important Bitch Night, for them all, had come shortly after they had returned from yet another attempt to convince Sasuke to come home. They’d finally found him. Again. After all that time, and searching, and waiting, and training, and hoping, they’d finally found the one they were looking for.

And he tried to kill them.

Again.

It had been yet another epic battle. Sasuke hadn’t been alone, and his companions had kept Sai, Sakura and Kakashi busy while Naruto battled against his best friend. Again. And once again, Sasuke had won, though it was close. It was really only because he had access to Kabuto’s incredible medical jutsus, which he’d copied through his Sharingan, that Sasuke had managed to hold out. But he did.

And then he’d left.

The bastard.

They’d nearly lost Naruto again. Sakura had exhausted herself healing him, even with Kakashi’s help. They’d pulled themselves together, then limped back home. Utterly exhausted. Utterly defeated.

Again.

Once they’d all been checked out of the hospital, they’d had the biggest Bitch Night ever. 12 gallons of ice cream with all the trimmings imaginable, 8 bottles of sake, and enough snack cakes to nearly land them back in the hospital for diabetic shock.

And they finally acknowledged the white elephant that was Uchiha Sasuke. They argued, discussed, bitched and cried over him. Whether it was worth all of their time and energy to find someone who not only didn’t want to be found, but who would sooner kill them than return home with them. A boy who’d been on their team for barely a year before he’d left them on a quest of personal vengeance; was he worth risking the lives of the teammates who had been there for the long haul?

And the boys had been there for her as she’d mourned about her childhood love, as they’d all been there for Naruto as he wailed, in his typically over-the-top fashion, about how losing Sasuke was like losing a brother. And Kakashi-Kakashi!-of all people, had broken down and confessed to how much he blamed himself for Sasuke’s fall, and for teaching him the jutsu that had nearly killed Naruto, and was now being used for Kami-knew-what.

Sai hadn’t really had as much to share; he’d never had any truly personal experiences with the younger Uchiha, aside from when they’d met in battle. Though the rest of the team never really could find it in themselves to discourage Sai from calling Sasuke ‘Duck Butt.’ However, when he expressed his concern that they still considered him merely a replacement rather than part of the group, they hastened to reassure him, and actually saw a small smile-a real smile, not his usual fake smile-grace his features.

That night had changed everything. They had unanimously decided to stop the search for Sasuke for ‘a while.’ They never really discussed when they would take up the search again, though they refused to openly quit. They simply decided that they needed some time to recover from the last trip. Train. Take some missions. Get stronger, in body and heart.

Then, maybe, they could try again.

That had been a year ago. Since then, they’d been posted on regular mission status, working together as much as possible, but also taking the time to train, and to pay attention to their regular lives.

Kakashi, being older, still naturally had his place as their leader, and supervised their training, usually having them take turns training each other. Naruto was still weak in genjutsu, so Kakashi had Sakura and himself work with the Kyuubi container on that.

Sakura, while enormously strong, still needed help in her taijutsu-as he’d told her once, even if she could knock down a tree with one punch, it was useless if she couldn’t land those punches against her foe. He personally oversaw her training in that area, but gave her and Naruto plenty of time to work with Sai, insisting that they also learn how to use a blade. They strongly suspected that it had something to do with the sword ANBU members were required to wear, so they didn’t bitch.

Much.

When she was with Kakashi, they ‘borrowed’ a lot of Gai-sensei’s training tactics-adding extra weight, strength training, and above all, speed. She was also receiving lessons in how to use senbon from Shizune, so between her three trainers, she was fairly well covered. Well, four, if you counted Tsunade, but the Godaime was increasingly busy, and usually had Sakura learning medical jutsus, leaving the physical training to her assistant.

Sai, of course, had had a fairly balanced training, but his ink jutsus were mostly useful for long-range attacks, which was why Kakashi had Sakura training with him on short-range attacks. To ‘keep him in practice,’ Kakashi said. Of course, Sai could easily kick her ass any day of the week, so she wasn’t sure just who he was trying to kid.

When it came to missions, Sakura was often still the one left behind, but rather than it being because she wasn’t useful, it was because Tsunade kept requiring her to remain in the village. She was currently learning some of the most complicated healing jutsus, and it required Tsunade’s personal attention, and sometimes weeks of study, before she could complete one of the techniques. Plus, to keep her skills sharp, Tsunade required her to do rounds in the hospital with the other medic-nins. But she wasn’t the brightest kunoichi in her class for nothing, and she took pride in knowing she was learning techniques that were far above ordinary level. There were even a few in there that Tsunade herself had created.

It was tough to balance her schedule, but she always managed to find time for her boys somewhere. It helped that Tsunade, perhaps sensing how badly she needed to feel included with her teammates, made it a point to allow Sakura enough time to go to training whenever Kakashi scheduled it, and even broke protocol and let Sakura know when the rest of the team was on a mission. One of the benefits to being the Godaime’s protégé, she supposed.

In the woman’s favor, as well, was that she’d given Sakura the entire day off, today. For the same reason that there was an obscene amount of ice cream in her fridge. And why Kakashi was carrying twice the usual amount of alcohol.

It was Bitch Night.

“If you’re here, I must be late,” Sakura teased, standing up.

She got another happy eye crease, “To your own party, no less. I’m so proud.”

She laughed at that. “Let’s do this.”

“Hai,”

Together, they jumped down through her window.

Sure enough, there were two familiar men casually lounging in her tiny apartment. One was arranging the tubs of ice cream around the low table in her ‘living room’ (which doubled as a dining room), and the other was stretched out on The Couch(a heavenly creation of supple black leather that the boys had pitched in for a house-warming present), a paper sack next to his feet, overflowing with various snack cakes.

The former looked up, “Sakura-chaaaan! About time you showed up! I can’t find our bowls!”

Sakura snorted inelegantly. “Of course you didn’t. They’re in the dishwasher.”

“Oh. I didn’t think to look there . . .”

Sai leaned his head up from the couch. “Do you require any assistance?”

“Nah. I’ll get them.” She opened her tiny dishwasher and pulled out four bowls. Her family ran low on ninja, but high on craftsmen, and she’d talked her uncle into making her four bowls. Pink for her, dark blue for Kakashi, black for Sai, and Naruto’s traditional retina-searing orange.

Kakashi started putting bottles of sake on the table as Naruto brandished the scoop. Sai was reluctantly goaded off of the couch to fetch the whipped cream and cherries. Oh, and the sprinkles. And the bananas. And the Oreos. They were going all out, tonight.

The ice cream was scooped, the sake was distributed in Naruto’s favor(he required more alcohol than your average human,) and the snack cakes passed around (not that they needed more sugar, but it helped with the occasional head freeze.) Kakashi removed his mask, tucking it into his shirt, and Sakura had to consciously force herself to stop staring at the sinfully handsome face and cover her blush with a large bite of triple fudge. It heartened her slightly to see that Naruto and Sai both had similar reactions whenever their leader went unmasked. She had a feeling they were both lurking in the metaphorical closet. Or perhaps had one foot in the door. It had to be. Tsunade had made a bet with her that they were straight. Given her shisou's luck, they HAD to be at least bisexual!

Finally, the preparations were all made. Sakura felt a swell of apprehension. Most times, their bitch nights were just a night among friends, a time of enjoyment. This wasn’t going to be one of those. This was going to be one of the bad nights, where everyone got all emo. And they would bitch. God, would they bitch.

She’d bought the ice cream. It was her party. Taking a deep breath, she began the ritual.

“So what the fuck do we do now that Sasuke’s home?”

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A/N: Well, there’s the first installment! Please review and tell me what you think!

Ja ne!

Dina-chan