My Curse

Completely random and very angsty for me. Sakura's POV.

I sit down on the couch, unable to decide what would be the right distance to sit from you. Sometimes I feel so comfortable around you, and others I worry what you'll think of every little thing I do. We sit through the movie, all the time I'm wondering if you're thinking about grabbing my hand the same way I am thinking about grabbing yours. Biting my lip I realize how stupid that thought is, of course you're not. I wonder what everyone thinks. They can't be totally naive, the closeness we lack, but the time we spend together has to make them wonder. I'm playing with your book now, just to make you curious, because you always have to know what I'm doing. I don't know why, but that gives me some hope, that you care what I do.

You start to touch me, saying you want to take the book, but we both know that isn't what you're doing. You're trying to seduce me again, touching my body to see if I moan, or push you away again. You don't have any idea how completely I've fallen for you, every time you touch me I want more, I crave more. I want to beg you to never stop touching me. I know my body drives you crazy, and I move to see how far I can push you because when you thrust into me I can't think of anything but you. The way you kiss me when you need my body makes me weak. You ask if I want this to stop, if I want you to stop, and I can't catch my breath to answer. I am so completely yours, so entirely caught up in everything we do together that I could never say no. I never want to say no. I'm trying so hard not to scream, knowing that I won't have you again for another week makes it so hard to not give myself completely to the feeling. I want to let you know exactly how you make me feel, but you keep pushing into me and the only thing I can do is try to breathe.

I know exactly when you cum, feeling you hold me tighter against you. As we lay there I wonder how long I can keep you like this, how long I can enjoy the afterglow, but every second we lay there I can feel myself getting ready to ask you what you're feeling, and I don't want to know. I don't want you to tell me how you can't feel anything for me. So I tell you'll I'll be right back, despite wanting to bend down and kiss you. I stand up, walk into the bathroom and put my head into my hands. I can never get used to the way you feel, every time we touch you throw me off balance. My mind can't form a coherent thought when you look at me. Walking back out I see you're already sitting up, back to your side of the couch and I almost want to hit you. I sit down, inwardly sighing at the situation I've gotten myself into. I shouldn't have fallen in love with you, I shouldn't have told you, but I feel like I have to. I know you think I'm not really in love with you. I know you can't possibly believe me, but it's there, and I mean it.