The Weaker Man

I don't own naruto. i only own the angsty plot

A knock on the door.
He's here. Twinkling dark eyes find mine, his lips curve into a confident smile around his senbon.Hands reach up to undo the knot of his hitae-ate, freeing soft, chocolate colored strands to frame a handsome face.
A second later his lips are on mine, the senbon discarded.
His hand fist in my short hair, his body presses close to mine.
And his scent surrounds me.
It's obvious he's just taken a shower, he smells clean and fresh, like pine needles.
Under that is a scent so purely his, so purely Genma, that I'd know it anywhere.

But over all that, lingering like smoke over an extinguished fire, is another unmistakeable scent.
One that should never linger on my lover.
One that drives me to cold fury.
He doesn't notice it, just as a smoker doesn't notice the leftover scent of a cigarette.
He thinks the shower has washed it away.

Now his hands are on my body, taking of my clothes.
His tongue is in my mouth, oddly soft and gentle.
I can feel his arousal on my now naked hip, and my hands are around his neck.
His lips are whispering endearments against mine, giving me compliments and empty promises I know he can't keep.

We're in the bedroom now, on the bed. I'm lying on my back as he hovers over me, showering me with soft kisses and tender attention.
He thinks I don't know.
That I don't know who he spends the afternoon with before spending the night with me.
But I do know.
And it eats away at me like acid.

Now he's entering me, slowly and carefully. Taking the utmost care not to hurt me.
Trying to erase his sin, as easily as he thinks he erased the scent on his skin.
The scent that's like cinnamon and mystery, that's enveloping me as he makes love to me.
The scent that's suffocating me.
Driving me almost mad with rage and hurt.

He makes sure we reach our peak together, and for one glorious moment, I forget about the scent.

When I come down from my high, I'm lying on my side and he's spooning into me, his strong arm wrapped securely around my waist.
Before, that made me feel safe and loved.
Now it just makes me feel used and angry.

I pretend that I'm asleep and hear my lover sigh.
He nuzzles into my neck and soon he's breathing evens out.
But the scent is still there, mixing with the smell of Genma, me, and sex.
Driving us further apart.
Making me more distant than ever.

I debate telling him I know, demanding that he choose between us.
Even as I know I won't.
Because I know who he'll choose.
And I love him too much to lose him, even if he is unfaithful.
I know he could never give the other up, even though he loves me.

After all, I'm only his lover.
The other is his temptation, his sin, his addiction.
And he's not strong enough to quit.

Because who could ever quit Hatake Kakashi, the infamous copy nin?
And so, even though I know, I can't do anything about it.
Because that would destroy what little of our relationship we have left.
And I couldn't handle that.

'You are a weak man Raido'
I whisper to myself as I fall asleep.
'not as weak as I'
I seem to hear Genma's voice whispering.

But it's just like the scent of cinnamon and mystery.
It's there, but unremarked.
Like fog, visible, but intangible.

We both don't know how to live without each other.
And neither of us is strong enough to try.