1000 Years of Pain No Jutso

1000 Years Of Pain No Jutsu


By Mija


Disclaimer-I do now own Naruto or its characters. This is a one shot, M/M, a bit on the crack side of things. KakaIru. This would take place around the time Naruto and the gang first became team seven and a little after the bell test.

~It had been a long day and Iruka was tired. His new class of students were a handful. Konohamaru and his merry little band of brats were seriously vying for Naruto’s place as the biggest pain in the butt in all of Konoha. As Iruka thought of Naruto he smiled. Naruto had come such a long way. Not so long ago he was positive Naruto would still be in the academy, his class, having failed yet again, but now he was on a team of genin with one of Konoha’s elite jounin as his new sensei. He couldn’t wait to hear all about Naruto’s training when he took Naruto out for ramen tomorrow night.

~As Iruka tidied up the class room, he bent over to pick up a forgotten paper air plane, when he heard the oddest thing ever.

~“1000 Years of Pain no Jutsu!” came the words before he felt something blunt but painful come into contact with the delicate area between his butt cheeks. Iruka grabbed his ass as he jumped about ten feet into the air, almost hitting the top of the door frame that lead into his classroom.

~Now lets get something straight here, it wasn’t that the thing hitting his ass was all that painful, it hurt yes, but it was nothing compared to OTHER things he had felt before. It was more the shock and the surprise of something hitting that spot with out permission that had him shielding his ass and jumping out of the way to keep his precious ass from being violated by something or someone unknown. Before he even landed back on his feet he could hear hysterical laughter behind him. Still holding his ass and looking like some demon out of hell, he turned slowly, already having recognized the laughter.

~”N-A-R-U-T-OOOO!” Iruka yelled, staring down at the orange clad genin rolling around the floor laughing his ever loving butt off, holding his gut to contain the cramps that were starting to form from his uncontrollable laughing. But the second he saw the look of his favorite sensei and precious person, all laughter stopped.

~”Meeep!” came the terrified sound of the blond as he sat up and started to scoot back on his butt, away from the man who looked like his head had grown three sizes larger, his eyes having slit and glaring daggers at him, his face as red as a beet and teeth as sharp as any monster he could of ever imagined. Of course the man had an enraged look on his face and his features clearly showed that, but in all actuality nothing on his person has actually morphed, but to Naruto, it sure in the hell looked like it, having seen that face for years every time he did something bad in class or out of it. Scary demonic Iruka sensei had been just one of the few nightmares he had had growing up, but then so did most kids who had gotten on Iruka sensei’s bad side, a pissed off Iruka was not a happy sight to see.(a/n as you can tell I was trying to describe the way Iruka looks like in the anime when he gets pissed off and yells at Naruto)

~”Wai…wait, please don’t kill me Iruka sensei, I’m soooorrrrryyyy!” Naruto pleaded as he put his arms over his head in a defensive position, waiting with eyes shut for the rain of blows he knew were coming.

“I was just trying to show you the really cool new jutsu Kakashi sensei showed us in training today, he said it was a super secret technique that only special jounin like him were taught but he showed it to us anyway cause we are his students and I was just trying to show you the super cool technique sensei, Kakashi sensei even used it on me! Please don’t KILL ME!” Naruto added in one hurried breath, hoping that his explanation would save him some of the pain he was sure was coming his way, he ought to have known better than to have used such a super secret jounin jutsu on his favorite sensei, what was he thinking? Now he was going to die and he would never become Hokage.

~Iruka stood still. He mulled over the words Naruto had spouted out. When the rain of blows never came Naruto dared to peek up and look at his sensei, he was even more scared. Iruka sensei wasn’t doing ANYTHING, he was just standing there with his hand on his hips and a thoughtful look on his face, it was like Naruto wasn’t even in the room anymore. This scared Naruto more, this was a mood Naruto was not familiar with, the other ones he could predict, but this one, this one was something new. Naruto figured this was his chance to make a quick get away, but the moment his finger even twitched he has Iruka’s full attention back on him. Needless to say he stood stock still and made like a statue.

~”Tell me Naruto, tell me all about how Kakashi sensei came to use this super special jutsu on you and don’t leave any detail out.” Iruka stated in a deadly calm voice, he even has a small smirk that lifted the corners of his lips just barely and Naruto didn’t know whether to be scared or relieved, he decided that caution was the best course and did everything his former sensei told him and explained the first day of his training and how Kakashi came to use the 1000 years of pain jutsu on him and everything up to being tied to the pole and having Sakura and Sasuke share their lunch with him and Kakashi having passed them because they were a team and somehow this was more important than the bell test, which they never did pass by the way. By the time Naruto was finished, Iruka was back to looking as if he was on another plane of existence and he silently told Naruto that it was ok to leave. Not waiting for his sensei to change his mind he jumped up and left the class room as if the hounds of hell were on his heels.

*****************************************************************************


~It was the same day and Iruka had just finished up his shift at the mission room, in fact he was the last one, the one who was to close up. After everyone left he tidied up yet again and put files away where they were supposed to go and went about getting ready to lock up for the night. As he finished closing the filing room door and locking it up he heard a poof and the smell of chakra smoke, as well as felt the familiar chakra of the person who had just transported into the closed mission room. Iruka turned around with a smile on his face, a light blush upon his cheeks.

~”Yo.” came the lazy greeting of Iruka’s secret lover.

~”I told you to meet me at my apartment Kakashi, what are you doing here?” Iruka asked as he went to his desk to put some papers into his satchel.

~”I thought I would surprise you and meet you here, maybe take you out to grab a bite to eat and walk you home perhaps.” Kakashi explained as he flipped his little orange book out and thumbed threw some pages as he waited for Iruka’s response. Iruka’s eye twitched, he hated that stupid book, not because it was porn, but because Kakashi used it to piss people off, to act aloof and calm, when inside he wasn’t even reading the damn thing, he wasn’t into straight porn, he preferred a little bit of the bent sort of sexual reading, involving two hot hero’s instead of a hero and heroine.

~”You know you seem to pop up here more than not, I thought you did not want anyone to know that we were seeing each other, at least not for awhile, yet you continue to do little things like this, like popping up where you might get caught, taking me out to eat and even walking me home, not to mention that if people took the time to actually look, they would be able to see that you don’t actually leave my apartment till the early mornings.”

~”Hey its not my fault that people don’t bother to notice little things like me leaving your place early in the morning, or that the times they actually see me leaving after walking you home its really a shadow clone…it’s a village full of ninja’s and if they cant figure it out its their fault not mine, as for the other stuff? What? I can’t take a comrade out to grab a bite to eat or walk him home as we catch up on the days happenings?” replied Kakashi. This was an old argument but something they were familiar with.

~”Your impossible sometimes you know that Kakashi?” Iruka replied with a sigh as he continued to have his back to the man as he stuffed things into his bag. He knew it wouldn’t be long before he would feel the press of the mans front along his back and sure enough he felt Kakashi’s arms wrap around his waist as he pulled Iruka close to his chest and held him close.

~”I’ve missed you.” Kakashi whispered as he began to fondle Iruka.

“I missed you to, but I knew that you would show up here tonight, sometimes you can be a bit predictable Kakashi, that is not a good thing to be when you’re a ninja you know, especially a super special jounin like yourself.” stated Iruka, and before Kakashi knew what the hell had happened, Iruka had twisted out of his hold, and with speed and agility even he envied, Iruka had him bent over the desk, with his hand tied together with chakra infused rope that was connected to the table legs that kept him firmly bent over without the possibility of moving.

~”Iruka?” Kakashi questioned, he was not afraid, he was confused and curious but he trusted Iruka.

~”You know Kakashi I had a visitor today after class.”

~”Really? May I ask who it was?”

~”Naruto, he came by to show me this super secret jutsu you taught him, the jutsu that you yourself used on him, the one only super special jounin like you are taught.” Iruka explained. Kakashi felt his legs nudged apart none to gently and felt Iruka working his belt off and begin to pull his pants down slowly. Kakashi actually sweat dropped and gulped. His lovers voice was calm, but you could hear the tinge of anger in it, of protectiveness that Iruka had the habit of showing when it came to his students, especially one certain soon to be dead blond boy.

~”Really?..uh which one? I taught them so many you know, after all it was a survival test you know, it was supposed to be hard, to test their abilities and such, you cant blame me for going hard on them Iruka, you have to be hard if you expect them to survive out in the world as ninja.” Kakashi explained, hoping that he might get out of this with minimal damage.

~”Oh I’m sure you had to be tough on them and I expected nothing less from you, after all, the team of the great copy cat ninja Hatake Kakashi would have to be the best and to be the best you have to be hard on them, I understand this perfectly and I don’t blame you one little bit.” came Iruka’s calm reply as he finally pulled Kakashi’s pants down all the way till they pooled about his ankles.

~”Oookaaay, so what is this all about then?” Kakashi asked, he was sure he could easily escape his binds but to do so would mean he might have to hurt Iruka in the process, not an option. Plus people tended to forget that Iruka was a damn good ninja and when it came to chakra control and tying ropes, well he taught the future ninja of Konoha, of course he’d be damn good at it.

~”Well the problem is, is that I am trying very hard to understand the purpose of one particular jutsu…something called the 1000 years of pain no jutsu?” Kakashi gulped, Naruto was sooo dead.

~“And no, you will do nothing to punish Naruto or any of the other for this Kakashi.” stated Iruka, in a voice that was calm but told Kakashi that if he so much as tried to get revenge for this, Iruka would not be a happy sensei, and a unhappy Iruka sensei was a very scary thing, Kakashi would know, he had dealt with him before and he had to admit, he had faced down some of the most fearsome enemies from the five nations, but a pissed of Iruka scared the spit out of him and he would rather face all those bad guys instead of an angry Iruka.

~“It’s not..its not what it looks like Iruka koi…” Kakashi started, only to be cut off by a yelp, a yelp that left his own mouth. He was shocked, he was stunned and he was turning a nice shade of crimson under his mask and head band. He could not BELIEVE Iruka had just spanked his naked ass.

~”Don’t Iruka koi me you pervert, where in the hell do you get it in your head that it is ok to shove your freaking fingers into the ass of a twelve year old boy and call it a JUTSO!?” Iruka growled, another smack to the ass resounding in the room.

~Kakashi was speechless. Really. Never in his life had he been spanked like a rebellious child. And he couldn’t even speak as he received spanking after spanking, as Iruka continued to ask him how he could think that shoving fingers up a child’s ass was acceptable behavior for a grown man. It was probably one of the reasons Kakashi wasn’t fighting his punishment, I mean come on. When you looked at it that way, what could he say? It sounded just WRONG. Of course when he had done it, he had not done it out of perverseness or anything remotely sexual. In fact he had thought it was funny as all get out. But seeing it now from Iruka’s point of view, he could see how that could be mistaken for something very, very wrong.

~”And. When. I. say. Naruto. Showed. Me. The. Jutsu.” Iruka continued, giving a spank to that pale ass of his lover after each word, making the cheeks he loved to fondle and caress a nice rosy red tinge to it. He could get to like this, he thought with a smirk.

~”I mean he showed me first hand, as in he USED it on ME!” Iruka finished with a really loud smack to the buns that made Kakashi actually flinch.

~”He..he did?” Kakashi gulped. Oh shit, Naruto used that on Iruka? Damn no wonder he was royally pissed, not that he wouldn’t of been pissed off just knowing about it, but to have had it done to him by his very own precious little brother figure? Well Kakashi couldn’t blame Iruka for being angry as hell.

~”Yes he did, and I don’t have to tell you how humiliating that was for me, or how surprised I was to learn that my very own lover had done such a thing to a child, let alone Naruto. Do you know how that felt Kakashi?” Iruka asked and Kakashi could only shake his head in the negative.

~”Then please, let me enlighten you just a bit of how it might of felt.” Iruka stated and Kakashi heard the sound of a zipper being undone. Again Kakashi swallowed hard. Kakashi had never bottomed for anyone before and although he was gay and loved making love to men, well Iruka in particular, his ass was technically a virgin.

~Iruka was not cruel, even angry he would not want to actually HURT his lover, but he needed to be taught a lesson, so although he prepared Kakashi’s virgin ass, and yes he knew Kakashi’s ass was untouched, and even lubed his cock more than enough, he knew this was going to hurt like all get out, he would know, many a time Kakashi would get impatient and ride him bare with no lube or preparation, but Iruka didn’t mind, in fact sometimes he liked it a bit rough. He wondered if his lover would after this.

~Kakashi had a new respect for those that bottomed, for all those times he had taken Iruka without lube or preparing him, or just shoving his cock into his lover without letting him adjust. Although Iruka did all these things for him, went slow and prepared him thoroughly, nothing could prepare him for the pain of having Iruka’s thick cock pumping in and out of his ass at a rather steady pace. Not slow, not fast, not hard but not gentle either. Kakashi was about to swear off ever touching Iruka again for fear of making him feel this sort of pain, when all of a sudden he yelped. What the hell was that? Iruka had hit a certain spot inside of him that made his knees weak and his stomach knot with a very pleasurable feeling. Was that his prostate? Oh Kami that felt heavenly.

~Needless to say, it was a long night, by the next day, Kakashi showed up even later than usual, and when his students saw him and were about to shout out his lateness they saw the way the way their sensei was walking. He was limping and had his hand pressing into the small of his back as he tried to straighten himself out a bit. Of course there was questions and some lame excuse that the kids bought, but later after training was done, he pulled Naruto off to the side and told him that the supposedly super secret jutsu he had taught him, was not in fact an actual jutsu. He explained how it had been a sort of joke and how only Kakashi used it and only for training purposes and if he didn’t mind would he never use it again and never ever show Iruka sensei ANY of the things he showed them during training?

~Confused, Naruto agreed none the less, and even scolded Kakashi sensei for telling a fib and using such a lame thing like that when it wasn’t a real jutsu. After a few long, long minutes of ranting and raving by said blond, Kakashi finally had enough and poofed away. He found himself in Iruka’s apartment where his lover could be found in the bathroom. With out words he handed Kakashi a couple of white pills, pills Kakashi had seen Iruka take most of the nights they made love. Pain pills. He was starting to have a new respect for his lover.

~After taking the pills Iruka showed him to the hot therapeutic herbal bath he had prepared for his sore lover. Kakashi sighed and leaned his back against Iruka who was sharing his bath with him. Of course they had made love back at Iruka’s apartment after Kakashi’s punishment. Kakashi having liked the dominant Iruka A LOT. He couldn’t say he was crazy about being the bottom on a regular basis but he figured that he owed it to Iruka to bottom some of the time from now on, after all, he was sure his love would need a break from all the poundings Kakashi tended to give him. It was only fair. Plus he liked the way Iruka took care of him afterwards, his touches were gentle and tender, loving, and the look of love upon his koi’s face was enough to take any sort of pain. Plus he really did like the frisky, bossy, aggressive Iruka, it was hot.

~Kakashi winced as a particularly sharp pain jolted up his spine. He sighed. Yes, he had learned his lesson. One: 1000 years of pain no jutsu was not a real jutsu and should never EVER be used on children. Two: Never EVER let Naruto show Iruka any thing he taught him during training, if so then that’s when number three came into play. Three: Take a very long mission and hope when he returned Iruka’s temper would have ebbed, if not, then prepare to bend over and feel Iruka’s version of the 1000 years of pain no jutsu.


The End.


A/N-Ok I know, it sucked, but I’m so trying to break this writers block from my mind. I had hoped but to no avail. Well I hope at least this was different, as far as I can recall I havent seen anything about that thousand years of pain thingy, and it always stuck in my head how perverted it was to stick your fingers up a kids butt, even if it was funny when I saw it lol. Thanks to those who read, much huggles and smiles Mija.