Drops of Jupiter

Title: Drops of Jupiter
Author: Reyn
Rating: R because I really don't know where to draw the line.
Disclaimer: Every time you read this story, you must give me a dollar. Haha, just kidding. Nothing other than the plot is mine to charge. So…every time you use this plot, you must give me TEN dollars.
Warnings: AU of the sci-fi genre, slash, angst, and a very shaky knowledge of Star Trek and how the universe in general works.
Author’s Note: I’ve had this idea jotted down in my notebook of plot-bunnies for several years now. I never intended to write it, and yet here it is. I hope it doesn’t fail too horribly in capturing everyone’s interests.
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Chapter One

Face plastered to the changing room’s porthole, Naruto Uzumaki scrutinized the design of the tiny ship floating nearly within range of Kotodama, making educated guesses as to where it may have originated.

“Hmmm…It’s definitely not Orion. “

“Naruto.”

“I mean, look at the ancient design of the wings! No one puts wings on escape pods these days!”

“…Naruto.”

“It must be from the Cygnus Arm,” Naruto continued. “They’re a few millennia behind the times, right Shikamaru?”

Dropping the chest shell with a sigh, Shikamaru Nara walked towards the window and grabbed Naruto by his hair, pulling his head back and out of the way so he could get a look at the escape pod they were supposed to be rescuing.

“It’s Inner Orion,” he announced, releasing the blond locks and walking back to the dropped suit. “Now get over here so I can finish helping you with this thing and go back to my regular duties.”

Rubbing the back of his head where his hair was unceremoniously yanked, Naruto shook out the insulation layer of the space suit that was in his hands and stepped into it, pulling the jumper up and over his shoulders as he walked over to the open locker Shikamaru was waiting by. “Are you sure it’s not from the Cygnus Arm?” he asked. “It’s too big and clunky-looking for a normal escape pod.

“Yes. Anything from there would take thousands of light years to float to this end of the galaxy, and that ship looks brand new,” Shikamaru replied, activating the bio-stats vest that was strapped to Naruto’s chest before zipping up the front of the jumper. “Take your necklace off, or else it’ll start floating up around your face while you’re out there.”

Naruto looked down at the blue crystal necklace resting on his chest and scowled as if the jewelry had done him a personal wrong before grabbing it and tucking it inside his undershirt.

“That’s not-”

“This necklace doesn’t come off,” Naruto interrupted stubbornly, giving Shikamaru a look that clearly told him not to argue.

Not even bothering to roll his eyes, Shikamaru reached for the chest shell and began opening its latches as Naruto slipped on the outer shell’s pants.

“Whatever,” Shikamaru stated, helping Naruto slide his arms into the chest piece and redoing the latches in the back.

Doing his best not to move too much as his friend performed his task, Naruto grabbed the helmet that was sitting on the bench next to him and slipped it on, activating the controls on the touch screen of the helmet’s face so that he could turn on various functions of the suit, including communications with the bridge.

A slap on his back let him know that Shikamaru was done, prompting Naruto to turn and give a thumbs up. He pouted as his hand signal was given to Shikamaru’s back as the man exited the preparation bay, already heading back to his station so he could finish scanning the system and making sure the ship’s energy levels weren’t out of whack.

A soft tone sounded, indicating Naruto’s comm-link was on as he entered Dock 29, heading towards the far wall where a line of caged cubbies sat, each containing various piles of equipment more or less for hardware purposes. Opening the caged door that held a long length of what appeared to be a double coil of thick rope, Naruto pulled out the rope and clipped the thicker of the coils to his suit and plugged in the smaller one to a port link located right next to the buckle.

Radio static buzzed as the comm-link was put to use now that his bio-stats were being fed to the ship’s computer via a wired route. “Naruto, this is the bridge, do you copy?”

“Loud and clear, Yondaime,” Naruto responded, tugging on the life line to make sure it was properly fastened. “Now am I pulling this thing completely into the dock on my own or is someone fixing the tractor beam or what?”

“Shino’s looking into the short range tractor beam right now. It appears to be a bug in the system, so he should have it ready to fire any minute now; and hopefully you’ll have pulled the ship in line with the dock by then,” the Yondaime explained. “We should have someone out there to look at the long range beams within the next few days. Sorry for putting you out like this.”

“Don’t worry about it. I like spacewalking,” Naruto dismissed.

Opening up another cage, he grabbed another length of rope, pulling it out from the shelf completely and tying it to one of the open hooks on his legs so that he wouldn’t lose it when floating around out in space. Hoisting the rest of the coils up on his shoulder, Naruto slammed both cages shut and headed back to the door, entering in a key sequence on the old fashioned number pad located just below the entryway’s reader pad.

Air began to hiss as the floor of the dock began to open in a spiral pattern, pulling everything that wasn’t properly secured towards it, including Naruto.

Tripping over his own two feet as he failed at running properly towards the opening, Naruto was sent spinning outside of the ship at a frightening speed, coming to an abrupt stop and rebounding a bit as his life line ran out of length.

“…Naruto, did you just exit Dock 29?” The tone was less than amused, causing Naruto to smile sheepishly even though the Yondaime wasn’t there to see it.

“Uhm…maybe? You can’t get mad at me, though! Shikamaru told me to!” Naruto hurriedly defended.

“He told you to?”

“Yes! Well…no. He sort of did!” Naruto pointlessly waved his arms about in explanation. “He mentioned 29 would put me closer to the escape pod than 32 when we were on our way to the preparation bay!”

“Naruto, we chose 32 because it contains an anti-gravity assimilation chamber to stop you from getting sucked out of the ship like that,” the Yondaime chastised before giving up on the subject. “Can you see the escape pod?”

Taking a moment to gain his bearings in relation to his position next to the ship, Naruto looked around, spotting the pod as it floated below him and on its side as opposed to beside him and upright as he was led to believe from what he saw through the preparation bay’s porthole.

“Are you sure I don’t need a jet pack for this?” he asked, stretching out the rope and beginning to swing it in a lasso-like fashion, calmly waiting for the smaller ship to float closer.

“Jet packs burn through the life lines and you’ve been talking about putting your pointless lasso skills to the test all week.”

Letting the rope go, Naruto watched helplessly as he completely missed his mark. “Why couldn’t you just let me hold a demonstration like a normal person would?” he complained as he pulled the rope back in. “You’re determined to let me make an ass out of myself, aren’t you?”

“Nonsense! What good is a skill if it has no practicality purposes? This is the perfect opportunity for you!”

Frowning, Naruto began to twirl the rope for a second try. “Right. The opportunity to lasso in an abandoned escape pod.”

“There could be someone in there.”

“It wasn’t emitting an emergency signal. It has to be a dud. A dud from the Cygnus Arm they sent out to make us Orions look like idiots,” Naruto insisted as he tossed the rope out again, holding his breath as he actually managed to make it go in the right direction this time.

“You’re right,” the Yondaime replied. “And in a few thousand light years, the video they’re shooting of this will finally make it back to their end of the galaxy and they’ll all have a good laugh at your expense.”

“Then they can call me Space Cowboy,” Naruto joked as he managed to lasso one of the escape pod’s wings.

Using the rope, he pulled himself forward until the life line was taut so that he could properly tug the loop tight around the wing. Once that was done, he gave it a harsh yank, causing the entire pod to twist and begin floating slowly in his direction.

Naruto watched proudly as the escape pod slowly came to him, the rope in his hands growing more and more lax.

Thirty feet away…

Twenty feet away…

Fifteen feet away…

Ten feet away…

Eight feet away…

“Uh, Shino? You can get the tractor beam back online any second now,” Naruto said nervously, beginning to wave his arms about in a futile effort to force his body to move backwards.

Five feet…

Three feet….

“Shino?! SHI-OOF!”

While things were weightless in space, the force of what was probably a ton of metal ramming into someone was still enough to send that person flying in an almost comically slow motion kind of way.

Not to mention Naruto would probably feel every bit of it when he woke up tomorrow.

A split second of radio static sounded in Naruto’s helmet, followed by the very non-apologetic sound of Shino’s voice. “Oops.”

A buzz of energy could be felt running through his suit, alerting the astronaut to the fact that the tractor beam was flickering to life. No longer able to properly move his limbs as both he and the escape pod were drawn into one of Kotodama’s many hulls, Naruto let out a small growl. “Shino, when I get back to the bridge, remind me to kick your ass.”

Static signaled again and this time a concerned voice rang through. “Are you alright, Naruto?”

“I’m fine, Yondaime. The suit took more damage than I did…Maybe.” Naruto looked down only to find himself looking at the bottom corner of the inside of his helmet. “So have you hacked its system yet? What are the pod’s stats?”

“I wish we knew,” the Yondaime replied. “According to the pod’s log everything shut down approximately two days ago. It looks as if the system was slowly failing up to that point – it might have taken some damage from whatever it was escaping from.”

Watching as the opening to the hull slowly twisted shut beneath him, Naruto could feel the direction of the buzz change as the beam gently lowered both him and the pod to the floor. “Any signs of life?” he asked.

“He just said the entire system was shut down, kid,” Asuma, the ship’s Head Technician, repeated helpfully. “There’s no way of us knowing when there’s no mainframe to hack into.”

Climbing to his feet, Naruto rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll rephrase. Any previous signs of life?”

As he waited for the crew to review the pod’s black box signal they had pirated and give him an answer, Naruto proceeded to unhook his suit from the ship’s anchor. A loud hissing informed him that the ducts had been opened and air was being sent into the dock, giving him about eight minutes before there would be enough oxygen for him to safely remove his suit.

“It looks like we’ve picked up a decoy. The cryogenic beds show no sign of life since the pod was first started up, meaning the person either turned the ship on and hopped off, or died before making it to the bed. Or they were just an idiot and forgot to hit the ‘deep freeze me’ button before sealing themselves in for a nice long nap,” Asuma added as an afterthought.

Shuddering at the thought of coming across a dead body while exploring the pod, Naruto pulled a crowbar off the metallic utility strip on his leg and jammed it into a latch that was labeled as the override panel. The shriek of metal that pierced even the thickness of his suit probably had everyone back on the bridge cringing, and Naruto couldn’t help but laugh at the idea.

“Hear that, Shino? That’s the sound of my love for you right now.” Another shriek as he pushed again on the crowbar. “Intimacy at its finest! First we bump into one another, and then I violate her with my tool.”

“My ears are bleeding,” Shino complained dryly. “Make sure you soundproof your room if this is what all your dates sound like when you bring them home. I’d prefer to keep my sanity.”

The latch popped open, and Naruto was momentarily distracted from coming up with a good comeback as he keyed in Kotodama’s signal, giving the pod’s basic controls a working server to respond to.

A green LED light flickered on, indicating the signal was accepted and the entrance to the pod swung open as Asuma took control of the computer.

“Huh. Well that’s interesting.”

The tone was enough to make Naruto pause before entering the pod. “What’s interesting?”

“There’s no air for me to turn on in the pod.”

Naruto frowned. “And that’s bad because…?”

“This pod is a D-394 model. Albeit, one hell of an updated version, but a D-394 model regardless.” After a brief pause, Asuma continued a bit irately. “None of you have the slightest clue what I’m talking about, do you?”

Naruto’s ‘no’ wasn’t the only one as several more could be heard through his radio.

With an irritated sigh, Asuma explained. “D-394 models always supply enough oxygen to last a party of two refugees a month, which is one of the reasons the pod is the size of a small house. It also stores enough food and water to keep them well-fed. The reason for this is because no one wants to bother freezing themselves if they know help is on the way, nor would they want to do so if they needed more time to properly escape whatever they were running from.

“When the cryo-bed is turned on, the air is turned off and the ship is powered down to its simplest of functions, enabling it to run in search of a rescue party for up to two hundred years. After that its battery is up and it just floats out there, beeping its rescue signal for an indefinite amount of time in hopes of someone happening to run by to pick it up.”

“But…this ship isn’t two hundred years old,” Naruto pointed out.

“No, it isn’t. And the air must be manually turned on once the pod is detached from its larger craft, meaning whoever’s in there was expecting to be rescued right away,” Asuma finished.

“Or had to stay alert longer than necessary due to being chased,” Shino put in.

Naruto hesitantly took a step into the pod. “So you’re saying there’s someone in here?”

“Yes, but they’re probably dead.”

That was enough to stop Naruto cold. It was one thing finding a dead body in a cryo-bed. It was another entirely to find a body just lying out in some grotesque position as if the person had died in the middle of trying to complete some simple task, not realizing that their time was up.

Flashes of red hair spilling out and a hand falling open with freshly picked flowers lying in its palm danced in front of his mind’s eye.

“Naruto?” the ever-calm voice of the Yondaime broke through Naruto’s thoughts. “If you want I can send someone else down to look at the ship. I need someone to look at the tractor beam anyway…”

“No, it’s fine.” Naruto braved another step into the pod. “Just…tell me about the legend behind the Kyuubi constellation or something.”

He could just picture those on the bridge exchanging glances, if the momentary silence on the radio was anything to go by. Not that Naruto particularly cared. The Yondaime was the only one who knew about his issues with dead bodies and was also the only one who knew how to alleviate the fear.

The rest of the crew had Naruto’s full permission to go and screw themselves if their curiosity at just what was going on between the Yondaime and him was eating them alive right now.

“Alright,” the Yondaime sighed, an indication he was settling down into his chair. “Although I’ll never understand why you like this story so much. The kyuubi is a bastard in this one.”

“That’s your opinion, old man,” Naruto joked as he stepped fully into the pod, glancing around to decide if he should go left or right.

“Don’t make me come down there and kick your ass, boy,” the Yondaime threatened. “It’s been a while since our last match – almost time for me to remind you who still has the superior skills.”

Naruto scowled at the memory of just how badly he had been beaten in their last match. And he had been on such a winning streak against the rest of the crew as well. “I’m twenty-three. Don’t call me ‘boy’,” he said petulantly, the humiliation still a little fresh.

“Yeah and I’m well under fifty. Don’t call me ‘old man’,” the Yondaime shot back.

“But you are an old man! Anything over twenty-five is old,” Naruto reasoned, an odd clanking from his left pulling his attention away from the banter.

“What was that?? You damn brat! You better be ready to hide from me when this is over because when I get my hands on you I’ll-”

Naruto stopped listening, his concentration now more focused on his task as he turned on his suit’s lights to brighten the surrounding area. The noise was similar to something falling rather than a simple banging within the pipes as he had first thought. Perhaps the sudden influx of gravity had shifted something loose? But then what was there to be knocked loose if there was no one onboard to have moved anything from its sealed position?

It was morbid curiosity – the bane of the human race – that compelled Naruto to continue forward in the direction the sound had come from. Much to his surprise, the dim emergency lights flickered on to light his path, indicating the ship’s energy was nowhere as depleted as they had been led to believe.

His inadvertent fear of dead bodies did a lap through his nerves, causing Naruto to unconsciously start quietly humming an ancient “seeshanty” that somehow managed to survive thousands of years of human advancement to be taught to him when he was a little boy.

The familiarity of the tune seemed to alert the Yondaime that Naruto was no longer with him, bringing his rant to an abrupt halt. “Naruto? What is it? What’s going on?”

Continuing to sing the melody, Naruto began to ad lib so that he could stay mentally connected with the bridge. “Something fe~ll, maybe from the cockpi~iiit?”

“Your singing sucks,” one of the crew opinioned.

Entering the cockpit, Naruto’s singing stopped and his eyes widened as he spotted a pale hand dangling down from behind the pilot seat.

“Naruto??”

Fighting the urge to wet himself on the spot, Naruto crept forward, inching around the chair and slowly turning his head, doing his best to keep his eyes from squinting completely shut.

What he saw caused his heart to thud almost painfully and the blood to drain from his face.

“Sasuke…”


Back at the bridge, Minato Namikaze, Yondaime of the space carrier Kotodama, froze at the whispered words of his son. Eyes sharpening, he whirled around to his bodyguard, Hatake Kakashi. “Get down there now.”

Not even waiting for the affirming nod, he began firing rapid orders to the rest of the crew. “Asuma, I want that system hacked and every last bit of information pulled – who cast the pod off, what ship it was connected to, what quadrant it was detached in originally, where its mother ship originated from, everything. Kankuro, pull a team together on standby and have them ready for a physical investigation of the pod. Someone alert the medical bay to ready a bed in their high security ward.”

Turning to the large screen that was currently displaying the Sagittarius Arm that they were headed to of the Milky Way Galaxy, Minato marched up to the controls and keyed in the channel to Naruto’s suit, causing the screen to go blank. “Naruto, turn on your camera,” he ordered. “Naruto?”

Several seconds passed by before an image flickered on the screen, and sure enough, there was the face of the boy neither Minato nor Naruto had seen since before they had left Earth for good.

“My God…” Minato breathed, staring at the much more adult features of the child he once knew. The pale complexion was marred with fading bruises and bits of old gauze, indicating that the man had been conscious long enough to treat some rather severe wounds.

“Y-you guys are seeing this too, right?” Naruto shakily asked. “I’m not just hallucinating due to some suit malfunction or anything, am I?”

“Is it dead?” Shino asked, his head angled to look at the screen.

From the corner of the image, Naruto’s hand came into view and a finger reached forward, poking the pale cheek and quickly drawing back. When no reaction occurred, several more pokes were issued.

“It’s hard to tell with these gloves on. Permission to de-suit?”

“Denied,” Minato said, no room for argument in his voice. “Naruto, your mental state is no longer fit for this task. I want you off that ship. Kakashi is on his way; he will help you de-suit in the preparation bay and then escort you to be looked at by Sakura to make sure no internal damage occurred when you were hit by the pod. I’m sending another team in to wrap things up down there.”

For once, Naruto didn’t whine or argue. After a simple “okay,” he hurriedly backed away from the body, turning to rush out of the ship if the shaky camera feed was anything to go by.

Minato’s eyes remained glued to the screen as his son left Dock 29 and headed back up to the preparation bay, not looking away until Kakashi appeared and the camera was turned off.

Moving back to his chair, the Yondaime collapsed, tilting his head back to stare up at the ceiling, listening to the hustle and bustle around him as his crew rushed about to carry out his orders.

How the hell was he going to handle this new situation without making things a mess?


Bloopers:

A slap on his back let him know that Shikamaru was done, prompting Naruto and give his thanks. When no response was given, tried several more times to no avail. It wasn’t until he watched Shikamaru closing the locker and heading to the door that Naruto realized he couldn’t be heard, causing him to take a deep breath and shout, “I SAID THANK YOU, YOU DICK!”

The sound of his own voice echoed inside his mostly soundproof helmet, startling him to the point of falling over backwards off the bench, finally catching Shikamaru’s attention.

“CUT!” the director shouted. “Naruto, you idiot, you need to turn on the helmet’s speakers.”

Doodle-eh-doo!

“Hear that, Shino? That’s the sound of my love for you right now.” Another shriek as he pushed again on the crowbar. “Intimacy at its finest! First we bump into one another, and then I violate her with my tool.”

Back on the bridge, Shino froze as the mental image of Naruto humping a miniature version of the escape pod on his bed entered and severely violated his brain.

Several seconds ticked by as more details were added to the image such as the sound of shrieking metal every time Naruto pounded forward and the red silk sheets that were piled uselessly on the floor.

“Uh…Shino? It’s your line,” one of the crew whispered.

Oh God, would Naruto really slap the pod like that while crying ‘Fuck yeah, take my tool, you bitch!’??

“CUT! Someone snap Shino out of whatever he’s thinking before he turns completely to stone!”

Doodle-eh-doo!

“No, it’s fine.” Naruto braved another step into the pod. “Just…tell me about the legend behind the Kyuubi constellation or something.”

He could just picture those on the bridge exchanging glances, if the momentary silence on the radio was anything to go by. Not that Naruto particularly cared. The Yondaime was the only one who knew about his issues with dead bodies and was also the only one who knew how to alleviate the fear.

“A bedtime story?” Asuma asked, his incredulous stare on the Yondaime. “You still tell the kid bedtime stories??”

“Yes,” the Yondaime replied in an almost sufferable manner. “But I make him change his own sheets every time he wets the bed.”

“I DON’T WET THE BED!”

“CUT!”