A Second Chance

The knock on his door brought Kakashi out of his afternoon snooze on the rumpled sofa. Having come home only early in the morning after a long, boring and tiring mission, he had collapsed on the pillows and the blanket that Pakkun liked so much and had fallen asleep the moment he had closed his eyes.

The knocking repeated and with a sigh, the jounin got up and walked up to his front door, extending his senses to find out who it was. The chakra was faintly familiar, but it took him a few seconds to place it, remembering where he had sensed it for the first time – the hospital where he had woken up after yet another unfortunate case of knocking himself out due to Sharingan overuse.

He opened the door and, indeed, it was Naruto and Sakura’s new team-member – Sai. The young man bowed respectfully.

“Good afternoon, Kakashi-san.” He said. “Iruka-san sent me to give you these documents.” And he handed him a folder that Kakashi recognized – they were standard issue and contained the numerous forms a nin had to write in order to hand in their mission report. Unfortunately, not even jounin avoided paperwork. Kakashi always did his best to shirk that duty as much as he could, unless he considered the mission of vital importance, and according to his habits he had only given the chuunin a verbal debriefing and had gone home to sleep. He should’ve known that the crafty Academy teacher wouldn’t let him get away with it so easily. Kakashi took the folder with a nod, then looked at the young man again. So this was Sasuke’s replacement?

“Would you like to come in?” he asked, wishing to indulge his curiosity about this newcomer. As it was, he knew that he used to be one of Danzou’s lackeys. The young man bowed again.

“Thank you.” And he followed Kakashi in his apartment. The jounin’s place was neither large nor cramped, and while the man wasn’t sloppy, he wasn’t particularly orderly either. The place had a lived in, comfortable, cosy atmosphere about it – rows upon rows of shelves by the wall, filled with books and scrolls and magazines, several old photos and one bright pink stuffed doll in the form of a frog. On the coffee table before sofa there were more books, some on their craft, and another, bright red one had a woman beating up a man on its cover.

‘Must be that pervy book Naruto is always complaining about…’ thought Sai.

Apparently Kakashi made efforts to clean his place, but even so, there were dog hairs everywhere and by the window, there was a half-dead plant in a glazed pot.

The jounin walked up to the sofa and quickly folded the blanket, offering Sai a seat.

“Would you like some tea?” he asked and the younger man nodded. He wasn’t sure why the jounin had offered him to come in – as far as he Naruto had told him, the man was a recluse.

“Yes, thank you.” Sai said, beginning to feel distinctly uncomfortable, and as inexperienced with dealing with emotions as he was, it made him even more nervous.

Soon Kakashi returned with the tea and a large plate of cookies which Sai discovered to be filled with sweet red bean paste. He nibbled on the corner of one after he took a sip from his tea, eyes firmly planted on the table before him.
Kakashi watched the young man for a little while, taking in his appearance and behaviour. Indeed, he bore some resemblance to Sasuke, it was undeniable, as much as Naruto protested it. That was where the likeness ended, however. Sasuke had always been a confident boy and had grown in an outwardly confident young man – whenever he’d acted antisocially it had been out of sheer lack of care about what people thought about him. Sai, however, appeared to genuinely to feel awkward in Kakashi’s living-room, and most of all, all of his emotions seemed to be written on his face as they passed through his being.

Kakashi was well-aware about the kind of training ROOT members got and knew that the gradual return to emotions was a confusing, awkward, sometimes even frightening process.

“I asked you to come in here” he began “because I wanted to get to know you a little better. After all, you’re a new member of my Team.”

“I am not working for Danzo-san anymore.” The young man suddenly blurted out and Kakashi chuckled gently.

“I know. I wasn’t questioning your loyalty.”

“Oh.” Sai lifted the cup and took a sip, hiding his face and reaction for a moment. Still, when he put the cup back down, there was a blush colouring his pale cheeks.

“I know that you’ve called Sasuke a traitor in your team-members’ presence.” Continued Kakashi “and while that is completely correct, as far as Konoha’s laws are concerned, Sakura and Naruto are a bit irrational about it. I thought I should warn you.”

Sai smiled, rubbed his jaw for a moment and nodded:

“I noticed.”

“I take it Sakura socked you one when you said it?” Kakashi enquired, feeling both sad at his former student immaturity and equally amused by her reaction.

“Indeed. I figured that it would be best to avoid that topic altogether. The books I read said that I shouldn’t be confrontational with people I wish to be friends with.”

At Kakashi’s puzzled expression, Sai elaborated:

“I’m trying to… aah, learn how to interact with people better.” Then he added: “Than I do now.”

Kakashi briefly wondered if he should warn him that even if he was perfectly civil and nice to Sakura she’d still find a way to take out her PMS on him and that he should just resign himself to his fate, just as Naruto did long ago. In the end he decided not to say anything and allow Sai to discover this on his own. Who knows, he actually might have some success with her.

“Things seemed to be pretty fine, when I last saw all three of you.” Kakashi said, remembering their meeting at the hospital and the bruises on their faces, along with Sakura’s irked expression showed that, indeed, things were pretty much normal.

“You’re a little older than them, aren’t you?” he asked.

The young man nodded.

“I turned eighteen a few weeks ago.”

“Then perhaps in time they might view you as someone from whose experience they can learn.” Kakashi offered and noticed that the young man blushed again. It appeared that outside of battle he had little control over his outward emotional reactions – something he would have to rectify if he wished to make his life easier.

The sudden urge to pee made the jounin pause for a moment, reminding him that he hadn’t visited the potty since the early morning after his brief shower and before keeling over on the sofa, so he excused himself:

“I will be right back.” He said, hurrying out of the room. Sai stared after him for a moment.

‘What a strange man…’ he thought and lowered his eyes. The bright red book once again caught his attention and he picked it up tentatively. Curiosity won and Sai opened it on a random page, eyes going wide as saucers when he saw the illustration and the text. What was Kakashi-san reading? He turned the book vertically and stared at the picture again, then turned the pages in search for other pictures, this time stopping at a drawing of two men together. Was that even physically possible?

What he was doing was embarrassing and he was sure that his face must be blazing by now, but Sai was just too curious to be able to put the book down. Was that what his trainers in ROOT called sex? He had been given only a cold, clinical description of the act and the rest of his training had focused on brainwashing him into believing that it was something he should never engage in, lest it turns his focus away from his missions. Sex, like emotions, had been a taboo.

Sai kept looking at the picture, unable to stop, feeling the familiar stirring in his groin. Ever since Naruto’s influence had broken through the shell around his emotions he had begun losing control over his body as well. At first, he had managed to fight the reactions off, but lately they had become worse and worse. The books he read said nothing about that problem and he considering how badly Naruto reacted every time he said penis, he figured out that it was something bad to ask about or even talk about.

When Kakashi returned from the bathroom he saw that his guest appeared to be completely enthralled by one of Jiraiya’s books. Sai was so focused on whatever that he was staring at that he didn’t even notice Kakashi when he moved behind him, curious about that precisely had the young man so flushed.

Ah. So that what it was.

“Interesting, isn’t it?” Kakashi said mildly.

The brunette jumped and dropped the book, which fell on the floor. He looked up, his blush deepening even further.

“Kakashi-san… I didn’t mean… I was just looking…” he became more and more flustered and Kakashi put a gentle hand on quaking shoulder.

“It’s okay. I read those in public all the time, remember?” and he grinned behind his mask “and I know in detail what’s exactly in each book. And I definitely like that chapter a lot.”

Sai squirmed in his seat and Kakashi looked further down, noticing the state he was in. Oh. Of course, Sai noticed that he noticed and he looked away.

“I apologise. I didn’t mean to offend you.” He said softly.

“I am not offended. Why would you think so?”

“Naruto gets offended…”

“This happens around Naruto?” Kakashi asked in surprise.

“No. He gets offended when I say penis. I figured it’s bad.” Younger man blurted out.

Kakashi walked around Sai and the sofa and pushed the cups away before sitting down on the coffee table before the young man.

“People get a little embarrassed when one says things like that in public.”

“I’ve noticed.” Sai murmured petulantly. Then he looked at Kakashi, his eyes strangely bright. He looked like he wanted to ask him something but couldn’t gather the courage to.

“What is it?” finally Kakashi asked first.

It took a few more moments before Sai finally opened his mouth:

“Is this normal?” he asked, pointing at his lap.

Kakashi nodded.

“Considering your age and what you were just looking at, yes, it’s perfectly normal reaction.” He said calmly.

The relief that washed over Sai’s face was palpable.

“I didn’t know that…” he murmured and looked down. The more he lived outside of ROOT, the more he realized that he was completely ignorant about what was the accepted in a normal society.

Kakashi bit his lip under his mask as he watched the distressed written over the pretty face. ‘What are you doing? You are not his teacher. Or even his mentor. You barely know him!’ his voice demanded angrily. ‘Not to mention that last time you tried mentoring someone, you failed spectacularly!’ but seeing how confused and hurt the younger man appeared, Kakashi realized that he couldn’t just walk away. Walking away was what had gotten him in most messes in his life. Perhaps this time he could do a better job. He took a deep breath.
“Whatever they told you or taught you in ROOT about sex, it’s not true.” He said.

“It’s not?”

Kakashi shook his head.

“Let me guess. Sex is bad because it may leave you open for an attack and because it can be used to gain information from you? And arousal is even worse to begin with – your selfishly focus on it instead of serving ROOT?”

Sai nodded miserably.

“That’s utter crap.” Kakashi flatly announced. “A sated mind is much more able to focus on the task at hand and sex is an excellent stress reliever.” He told him.

“But it won’t go away!” the young man exclaimed, gesturing towards the bulge in his pants.

“Have you done something to try and make it go away?”

Sai gave him a blank look. “Do something…?”

Well, that answered the question. If it wasn’t so damn sad, Kakashi would’ve felt amused.

“Have you touched yourself?” he asked.

“Touch myself? Where?”

There was a long, pregnant pause while Kakashi weighed his options and then finally said:

“Do you trust me that I won’t hurt you?”

Sai was quiet for a few moments, then nodded. Kakashi took a deep breath and silenced the inner voice that was hissing that he was about to utterly fail at the mentoring thing again. He reached and carefully grasped the young man’s knees, spreading them slowly. Sai tensed and looked at him questioningly.

“It’s okay.” Kakashi said softly. “I promise.”

He reached and ran his palms over his inner thighs, squeezing gently. Sai gasped and the bulge in his pants twitched. Kakashi slowly lowered his fly and pulled at his pants and a small hesitation his guest lifted his hips off the sofa and allowed him to take them off. In a moment, his underwear followed. Kakashi stared at the supple, smooth flesh and felt the stirrings of his own arousal, but determinedly took a better hold of himself.

Gently, the jounin wrapped his callused hand around the slender shaft and gave it a slow, torturous rub, flicking his thumb over the moist head as he did so. Sai gasped and whimpered softly, thighs suddenly trembling and starting to close before he consciously spread them further apart.

Kakashi set a slow, gentle rhythm, pleasuring the young man, rubbing his hand over his erection and using the other to cup and roll his balls between his fingers. Soon, he realized that he was uncomfortable sitting on the coffee table like that, having to lean forward to do what he was doing. He paused for a moment to move back onto the sofa, next to his partner, then pulled the younger man in his lap and continued, watching his reactions carefully, biting his lip to distract himself from the effect that Sai’s needy squirming had on him.

As inexperienced and suppressed the young man was, it couldn’t last long. And indeed, he came with a shout, his back arching in a bow in over Kakashi’s arm, his come splattering all over the jounin’s hand and his own flat stomach. Afterwards, he was almost boneless in Kakashi’s embrace, a sated, post-orgasmic glow moving in place of his frustrated blush. The older man watched him lick his soft lips with his moist little tongue and felt himself harden even further under him.

Sai noticed Kakashi’s erection, of course. He was sitting right on top of it.

“Kakashi-san?” he said softly.

Kakashi carefully deposited him back onto the sofa.

“Yes. All better now?” the jounin asked.

“Yes, but… what about you?”

“I am fine, don’t worry about me.” Kakashi told him and smiled. Sai shook his head, then reached for Kakashi’s fly. The older man covered his hand with his.

“You don’t have to.”

“Reciprocation helps maintain good relationships with people.” Sai sounded like he was quoting again. His deft, nimble fingers had already lowered his fly and taken his erection out. For a moment, the young man stopped and stared at the size of it, then tried to imitate what Kakashi had just done to him. He was enthusiastic if clumsy, and having gone without any physical intimacy for several months, Kakashi’s resolve broke. He moaned and let the young man touch and fondle him, his precome slicking his delicate hands.

He proved to be a fast learner, his analytical mind cataloguing which touches made Kakashi react the most and then he used them over and over again until the jounin came clutching at the cloth of the already stained couch.

When Kakashi opened his eyes he realized that some of his come had splattered over the younger man’s cheek. Curiously, he brought his stained fingers up to his lips and gave them a tentative lick. Kakashi bit the inside of his cheek to stifle his groan at the sight. Apparently liking the taste, the younger man kept licking his fingers, only pausing to ask:

“May I come tomorrow for you to show me more things? I am curious about all those pictures I saw in the book…”

Yes, Kakashi was totally failing at the mentoring thing again.