Strip O Gram

Title: Strip-O-Gram

Pairings: Kakashi/Iruka, Asuma/Kurenai, mention of Genma/Raidou

Rating: M

Warnings: Sexual situations, some coarse language, cross-dressing, slash

Summary: Asuma and Kurenai are getting married and its Asuma’s stag do. Kurenai has a surprise planned just to make things a bit more ....special.

Disclaimer: I don't anything here except the plot. All of the characters from Naruto belong to the wonderful Masashi Kishimoto!

Authors Notes: This is my first foray into this fandom so please bear in mind that not everything is going to be canon compliant or even in character. I’d just started in the fandom when I discovered the fabulous stories by Dark Auroran and yure_chan (amongst others!) and promptly became a whore for Kakairu fics. I have a wonderful picture in my head to go along with this story but sadly I have no artistic abilities whatsoever unless it is playing a violin so I’m afraid that picture is just going to have to stay in my head and fuel my deviant fantasies.....which if this works, will mean more deviant fantasies on paper for you guys! Please read and review! Belle

***

Iruka blushed brightly and squirmed in his seat at the proposal Kurenai had just given him. He shot his very best glare at Kotetsu and Izumo as they burst into fits of giggles at the academy teacher’s predicament but it just didn’t seem to work for once. As they continued to laugh, he downed another shot of sake and stared at the kunoichi in question.

“You’re completely serious about this aren’t you? You really want me to go through with this?”

The red-eyed bride-to-be shared a wicked grin with Anko. “Yes, we really want you to go through with this. Please Iruka?”

“It’s not as if you didn’t pull worse pranks than this when we were younger.” Anko added helpfully, earning herself a glare from the scarred chuunin.

Iruka groaned as Tsunade’s interest perked at this snippet of information. Really, shinobi were the worst for gossip. He wasn’t even sure why he was here with this group. Admittedly, it made more sense for him to be here rather than at Asuma’s stag do. All the men there were either special jounin or elite jounin, hell half of them were ex-ANBU. There was also the fact that he had yelled at them all numerous times about the condition of their mission reports amongst other things. He still felt somewhat awkward in this group as well though.

Kotetsu and Izumo were the only males here and they would be leaving soon for their shift on guard duty. Kurenai, Anko, Shizune and Inuzuka Tsume were all jounin or special jounin and Tsunade was obviously the Hokage and one of the legendary sannin. There were several of the other chuunin academy teachers there but Iruka was still left feeling more than a little out of place.

“You know Iruka, if it makes it any easier we can make it into a mission. I’d be willing to put up the money myself.” The grin on Tsunade’s face was wicked but she seemed serious despite the slurring and the ridiculous amount of sake that she had imbibed.

He sighed. It didn’t look like there was going to be anyway that he could get out of this. All he could hope was that they were all so drunk at Asuma’s that they wouldn’t remember anything tomorrow. There was one certain orally fixated special jounin who would quite happily make his life hell in the mission room. He looked up into the grinning faces of Izumo and Kotetsu as the stood on either side of him.

“We’ve got to go now but we’ll come and find you tomorrow. We want to know all the details. Ooh and photographic evidence.”

“Yeah ... good luck Ruka. We’ll see you tomorrow if you survive. The way that lot are talking, you’re going to end up looking like one of Jiraiya’s Icha Icha girls and Hatake’s at the party. You’re going to get mauled!”

The laughing duo left leaving behind a wide-eyed, blushing Iruka searching desperately for more alcohol.

***

An hour later although he’d managed to find another bottle of sake, retreated to a corner and drink the majority of the bottle, it hadn’t helped at all with the knowledge of what he was going to have to do. At that precise moment he felt as though he should be moving and that he was in a prime spot to be ambushed. Unfortunately, the sake had dulled his reflexes and he was just a few minutes too late, he was already surrounded. He attempted to put up a fight but one seriously intoxicated chuunin was no match for four jounin kunoichi; Tsunade was of no use by now and was just sat watching the proceedings whilst nursing yet another bottle of sake.

Iruka started to get really worried when he realised that he was now in the bathroom and Anko was brandishing a razor. He kicked out with his feet and attempted to escape but hands landed on his shoulders and he turned round to see the wicked, distinctly canine grin of Inuzuka Tsume.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea do you sensei? Just sit back and let Anko get on with it.”

Iruka whimpered as Anko approached, razor in hand, an almost sadistic gleam in her eye. “Why do you have to shave me? Can’t I just use a henge? I’d make a more realistic woman then.”

“We don’t need you to look like a realistic woman for the whole thing. We just need you to look convincing enough to get in there and onto Asuma’s lap.”

Iruka bolted upright so quickly that it was a wonder his leg wasn’t shredded by the razor. “Onto Asuma’s lap? Why would I be on Asuma’s lap?!”

Shizune snorted as she came through the bathroom door with Kurenai, the two of them carrying bundles of clothes and lots of make-up. He hadn’t even realised that kunoichi wore make-up. “What part of being a strip-o-gram do you not understand Iruka-sensei? You need to go into the bar where they’re having the party, walk up to Asuma, sit in his lap and strip as you do so. It’s easy.”

“Easy? How is that easy? I have to walk into a bar of shinobi that are my colleagues, my superiors and knowing my luck there will be ex-students there as well, whilst dressed as a woman. Not just any woman but as a stripper dressed in kami knows what. I’m never going to be able to look them in the eye again!”

“It’ll be fine. They’ll all be so drunk that they won’t remember anything in the morning. You’ll be fine. Now be quiet while we put some make-up on you. If we can’t cover up that scar of this then this plan is never going to get out of the water. Tsume, while you’re holding him there, pull his hair tie out. At least he’s got long hair; it’ll help him pass as a woman.”

Iruka whimpered as Shizune started to attack his face with make-up to hide his scar and tried not to pay any attention to Anko and Kurenai who were squealing in excitement over the clothes that the bride-to-be had managed to unearth from previous undercover missions.

***

Iruka stared at himself in Kurenai’s mirror in mute horror. He had to admit that the kunoichi had done an impressive job of making him look like a woman but it was the fact that he was dressed as a woman that was disturbing. What he found even more disturbing was that, as Anko had said, when he was younger he would have jumped at the opportunity to embarrass the male jounin, regardless of whether or not that involved cross-dressing or not.

Apparently Kurenai had undergone several undercover missions in the last few years, one which had involved her playing the role of a lord’s concubine and another where she had been working undercover in a brothel. The clothes, if they could even be called clothes, were the remnants of those missions. The other kunoichi had retired to the living room for more alcohol leaving him with Anko, the person he was most comfortable with out of the lot, to help him get dressed and he definitely needed help! She had stuffed him into the underwear, paying no attention to the fact that he was now struggling to breathe and had apparently no sympathy for the fact that he was struggling to stand up in the heels, never mind to walk in them.

Over the top of everything was a soft silky black yukata with red and white patterns along the hems at the bottom and the sleeves. They had pulled his ever-present hair tie leaving his hair cascading down over his shoulder blades and it felt incredibly odd without his hitai-ate there to stop it from falling into his eyes. Talking of his eyes, he could see the effects of the make-up that Shizune had applied. Shizune had tried to attack him with a mascara wand but he had managed to fend her off. Honestly, where did they learn to use all of this stuff? They certainly weren’t taught it in the academy. He hadn’t managed to fend her off for long though and he had suffered through having black kohl drawn around his eyes making them look even bigger than normal. His scar was only visible if you knew that it was there and he was hoping that it was convincing enough to the jounin he would be “entertaining”. Finally, just when he thought that he was safe, Anko had pinned him down and swiped some sticky stuff over his lips. Great, now he looked even more like a girl than ever.

***

Iruka stood outside of the bar that Asuma’s party was being held in, accompanied by the female shinobi, all of them using a henge to appear masculine. They would stand by the windows and dampen down their chakra as much as possible so that they could still see the proceedings. Peeping in through the window Iruka winced at the number of shinobi there were in the bar; Asuma, Genma, Raidou, Gai, Ibiki and .... oh kami, Kotetsu and Izumo were right, Hatake Kakashi was there as well. He took a deep breath as the door was opened and some music appeared from somewhere. He could do this, it wasn’t difficult. Squaring his shoulders, he walked into the bar and headed straight for Asuma, putting a distinct sway in his hips as he walked. He could do this. He attempted to smile seductively, hiding behind his hair as he straddled Asuma’s lap as he slowly started to slip the yukata off his shoulders. He managed to hide his choked laughter as Asuma dropped his ever-present cigarette in shock. He hoped that Kurenai was enjoying this as he certainly wasn’t.

***

Kakashi blinked as he saw the sight of Umino Iruka, academy teacher, mission room clerk and all round innocent chuunin, sat on Asuma’s lap blushing brightly having just kissed the jounin on the lips. He was incredibly pleased that he wore a mask as he was sure that his mouth was hanging open like every other shinobi in the room. It wasn’t the fact that the chuunin was sat on Asuma’s lap; it was what he was wearing whilst sat on Asuma’s lap. Feeling grateful that he was hiding in the corner, he slowly slipped his hitai-ate off his left eye and allowed the Sharingan to record the sight in front of him; Iruka-sensei with his long, gorgeous hair loose around his shoulders wearing a corset, little lace knickers, stockings, garter belt and high heels, having stripped off the elaborate yukata that he had been wearing when he arrived. He grinned as he worked out just where the clothes had come from. He had never expected Kurenai to come up with anything like this ....but he certainly wasn’t complaining.

His attention had been grabbed by the little sensei after the chuunin exams, when he had yelled at Kakashi in front of everyone. That had impressed him. After all, not many people had the balls to yell at the Copy-nin. Of course, the yelling wasn’t just reserved for him – all of the shinobi submitting mission reports had been yelled at by the teacher at some point or another. His curiosity had been roused upon seeing the numerous sensitive positions the man held despite his chuunin status as well as the high regard in which he was held by all of his former students although his favourite was obviously Naruto. Somewhere along the line, Kakashi had realised that he was attracted to the scarred chuunin; there was just something about those big molten chocolate coloured eyes and the slightly feminine curve to the hips that drew the eyes down to that incredible ass. He was pleased to note that the hair was even sexier down than he had imagined although he would have to see it spread across a pillow just to be sure. He certainly wouldn’t object to the opportunity to pounce and see whether that thing on page 56 of Icha Icha volume 47 was actually possible. Now looked as though it might be the perfect time to try and find out. As he slipped the hitai-ate back over his eye, he made a mental note to himself to ask Jiraiya why he had never written an ‘Icha Icha Sensei’. The image he had just recorded would certainly make a wonderful front cover.

Looking back over in Asuma’s direction he saw that Iruka had escaped from the jounin’s lap and was trying to escape Genma’s wandering hands (rather than attempting to stop his partner, Raidou was actually trying to help catch the chuunin). Apparently the normally scary ‘don’t-even-think-about-doing-that’ teacher glare didn’t work when dressed like a stripper and Iruka had to resort to a well-placed kick in order to escape for the door having grabbed the yukata on the way, his hands starting to form the seals for the transportation jutsu as soon as he reached it. Kakashi growled as Genma made a grab for Iruka’s absolutely delectable, perfectly fuckable ass and within seconds he was there, hands flying through the seals, intent on stealing the chuunin away himself.

***

Iruka squeaked as he felt arms wrap around him before he the familiar feeling of the transportation jutsu overtook him and he buried his face in the chest in front of him. He had never been particularly fond of being a passenger in the jutsu – it was a surreal feeling that he had never gotten used to. He realised that he wasn’t in a location that he recognised and that he was still clinging to the chest in front of him. It had to have been someone who was at the stag party but he couldn’t remember who seeing anyone other than Genma and Raidou in the minutes before he had left. Pulling away slightly he saw that the broad chest and shoulders were encased in a jounin vest and he could feel the heat starting to rise in his traitorous cheeks. His eyes kept rising until he could see the face of his rescuer. As soon as he got a clear view the heat decided to forego the slow rise and instead burst into flames. Kakashi. Kakashi of all people. Why did it have to be him? The one person that Iruka had ever had a crush on and the one person guaranteed not to be interested in him. He’s not looking uninterested now his brain supplied helpfully. It was all he could do to suppress his groan; not only was his face being treacherous and blushing like mad but his brain had decided to join the rebellion for good measure.

“Kakashi-sensei? Wh-where are we? What happened?”

Kakashi grinned beneath his mask and answered the questions, even as he refused to let go of Iruka completely. “Maa, Iruka-sensei. We’re at my apartment and I rescued you from Genma and Raidou.”

“Why did you bring me here?” Iruka scratched his scar self-consciously, smearing the make-up covering his scar even more. “And why haven’t you let me go yet?”

“That would imply that I want to let you go. As for why I brought you here, I would think that was obvious.” As he was talking, Kakashi had slowly backed Iruka up against the wall, leaning in and completely disregarding the younger man’s personal space as he nuzzled against the younger man’s neck making him arch with a whimper.

That whimper shot straight to Kakashi’s groan. He was going to take a great amount of pleasure in wringing further noises like that from the younger man’s full and pouting lips.

Iruka blushed even brighter and bit his lip as he heard an embarrassing whimper escape from his lips. If the jounin kept this up he was going to embarrass himself like a teenager but he really couldn’t help it when the man he’d had a crush on for years was pressed up against him, obviously interested, and nuzzling his neck. The very small part of his brain that was still thinking rationally voiced the question as to whether the Copy-nin was interested in him for what he was wearing or interested in him for who he was. That thought swiftly disappeared as Kakashi’s still mask-covered nose nudged at Iruka’s jaw line even as one large, pale, long-fingered hand slid inside the yukata and around the curve of Iruka’s hip. Wrenching himself back from the bliss that was slowly disintegrating his brain, Iruka shoved Kakashi back and wrapped the yukata a little bit more firmly around himself attempting to hide the lingerie.

“Why are you doing this now? Why me? Is it just because I’m dressed up in some hideous parody of an Icha Icha girl?” Now that he had started talking, Iruka was struggling to stop. “I mean, I’m just me. I’m just a chuunin academy teacher. I’m nobody special.”

He was hit with a piercing mismatched glare and instantly shut-up.

“It’s just you that I’m interested in Iruka. Of course, the fact that you’re dressed like you’ve just walked out of an Icha Icha is just an added bonus.” This last comment was accompanied by a leer, distinctly visible beneath the mask. “I’ve been interested in you for a long time and I don’t just want a one night thing. Can we talk about this in the morning? I’ve been horny ever since you slipped that bloody yukata off your shoulders and I’m not going to last much longer.”

Iruka was still processing the words ‘I’ve been interested in you for a long time’ and ‘It’s just you that I’m interested in Iruka’. Anything further that he was going to say just died a quick dead as the famous Copy-nin pulled down his mask revealing a face that was criminal to hide away and then the face was looming closer and closer until Iruka’s eyes fluttered close and seconds later he felt a hot warmth on his lips, simply devouring him.

Kakashi pressed Iruka back into the wall, pushing the yukata off the tanned shoulders to reveal that delicious tanned skin that he just wanted to taste. As he claimed the full lips, using a handful of that gorgeous and silky multi-hued hair to keep Iruka in the right position, he coaxed the chuunin’s legs up around his waist and walked through to the bedroom, only wrenching his lips away from Iruka’s in order to place a very obvious bite on thrown back neck, claiming his possession. Letting Iruka drop down onto the big bed, he quickly stripped off his uniform before crawling up the bed and pressing Iruka firmly into the mattress. Ripping off the lacy knickers and reaching out to the bedside table for some oil, he quickly poured a significant amount onto his hand and reached down with his hand. The state that he was currently in meant that this first time wasn’t going to last long. That didn’t matter though. As far as Kakashi was concerned, they had the rest of the night ahead of them.

Iruka squirmed in anticipation as he felt Kakashi’s fingers at his entrance, before they moved swiftly to ensure that he was thoroughly but quickly prepared. He whimpered and bucked his hips moving the fingers deeper into him causing Kakashi to growl and he smiled smugly. A smug smile that was quickly wiped off his face when he felt something more substantial at his entrance and gasped as he was slowly but surely filled completely. His mouth was claimed and devoured as Kakashi started to move, battering into his prostate on the second thrust. Neither of them lasted long as they were too turned on and soon Kakashi was taking Iruka in hand, stroking him in time with his thrusts. All too soon, Kakashi was releasing inside of Iruka’s tight heat as Iruka tensed around him, coming at the same time. Kakashi slowly pulled out, pressing soft kisses across the horizontal scar as he did so. Almost reverently, he started to unlace the corset and pull of the stockings and garter belt, dropping kisses over every inch of smooth, tanned skin as he did so. Now it was time to properly worship the delectable chuunin that he had in his bed.

As Iruka snuggled into the broad shoulder underneath his cheek he couldn’t help but feel that if he had known that this was going to be the outcome he wouldn’t have protested Kurenai’s proposition so much. He also had the feeling that it was going to be quite some time before Kurenai got her lingerie back .... if ever!