Ruby Zippers

A/N: I got the idea for this fic from the cover of Naruto 457, which totally calls for crack Gaara-porn (I swear Kishimoto-sama set us up, LOL). Technically, this is also a sequel to Spoils.

FAN ART ALERT!!!!! http://kyuubi1010.deviantart.com/art/Bit-of-a-Tease-131156905 (Enjoy!)

Happy NaruGaaNaru Day, fellow shippers!!!!!!!

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. I make no money from the writing of this story.

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Warning: unbeta’d; cross-dressing; humor; OC; OOC; PWP; yaoi

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Naruto Uzumaki burst through the door of his office, sweaty and flushed, his tie loosened.

“Hold my calls, Ino”, he told his receptionist over his shoulder as he walked into his office and closed the door.

The blond set his briefcase on the floor and made quick work of divesting himself of his suit jacket, hanging it on a peg of the coat hook near the office door. He walked over to the small gray fridge next to the credenza and bent down to open the door, reaching inside for a bottle of water before closing it and making his way to his desk.

He plopped down in his large leather chair, running the cold plastic water bottle across his forehead before pulling open its seal and taking a long swig from it. The water was cool and refreshing, a welcome relief from the mid-July heat.

Naruto sighed, resting the arm of the hand holding the water bottle on one arm of his chair while he used his other hand to rub his tired eyes. It had been one crazy morning in court. The battle between his client, Sakon, and Sakon’s twin brother Ukon was taking some bizarre twists and turns. Apparently the two had made a lifelong habit of impersonating one another, until Ukon allegedly took things too far and infiltrated the porn industry using his brother’s identity. Now there was a film out there starring ‘Sakon’, depicting a felonious sex act involving a boy of as yet undetermined age--and a Western Great Lakes Gray Wolf.

It turns out the animal was an endangered species. Who knew? And just what kind of three-ring, flaming hoop dog-and-pony show had to have occurred in order to get an endangered Western Great Lakes Gray Wolf into a porno?!

He’d been grappling with the case for the past six weeks, and it was garnering its share of media attention. Naruto had mixed feelings about that. On one hand, his ancestral pedigree was hardly that, and he’d earned his legal credentials from a run-of-the-mill law school. Except for his bright-blond good looks, he wasn’t what anyone would consider the high-profile type. Naruto learned quickly to use that to his advantage, working his legal genius and earning his victories from the shadows of obscurity.

On the other hand, Tenzou’s acquittal had put the young attorney on the radar, and with this subsequent case, he was drawing attention from a variety of new sources. It was a situation which, for all its weirdness, had the potential to earn him the kind of success he’d always dreamed of, the kind that would make his late father in Heaven beam with pride.

The muted sounds of the phone ringing on the other side of his door and of vehicles driving by the small office building were all that could be heard. Naruto closed his eyes and leaned back in his big chair, grateful for the relative calm.

He was just the side of dozing off when the annoying sound of the intercom buzzer intruded on his serenity.

What the fucking hell—

Naruto opened his eyes and leaned forward, brows furrowed, pressing the button on the phone in agitation.

“I told you to hold my calls!” Naruto exclaimed in a frustrated voice.

“I’m sorry!” Ino responded, equally annoyed. “Mr. Ruby is on the line and insists I put him through. He says it’s urgent.”

Mr. Ruby? Naruto’s face morphed into a grin that would rival the Cheshire cat’s own.

His day was saved. When Mr. Ruby called it was usually a very good thing. “I’ll take it”, he spoke calmly into the intercom.

Naruto pushed another button on the phone. “Mr. Ruby”, he greeted with sheer seduction in his voice. “What can I do for you?”

A sigh was heard on the other end of the line. “Naruto”, a voice dripping with sex called out. “I’m wearing my zippers today. Would you like to see?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Naruto burst from his office and stumbled over his own feet as he hurried out of the front door. “Can’ttalknowgottagoseeyoutomorrow.”

Ino looked on in confusion. What the hell was that all about?

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Naruto sat in his dimly-lit living room on his couch. The top button of his white button-down shirt was unbuttoned, its sleeves were rolled up and his loosened tie hung lazily around his neck. His forearms rested on his thighs and his hands alternately flexed and released between his knees. Beads of sweat dotted his brow.

He was literally on the edge of his seat, watching the hot redhead in front of him. Where the coffee table normally sat stood Mr. Ruby, who wore black patent leather high-heeled zip-up boots and a matching long-sleeved coat that boasted one long zipper down the front and covered him from neck to calf. Naruto couldn’t tell what else was lurking beneath that long, shiny coat, but the anticipation was making his cock weep in his pants.

The redhead paced back and forth slowly, observing his captive audience with silent interest. ‘Mr. Ruby’ existed solely because of Naruto. He was Gaara Sabaku’s sex-kitten alter-ego, who had somehow ‘emerged’ during that amazing weekend with Naruto six weeks ago. He had needs that only the blond could fulfill, and Naruto, deviant that he was, was only too happy to indulge him. All Mr. Ruby had to do was make the call.

The crinkling of his shiny clothing was all that could be heard in the room.

Then the music began to play, a mellow, funky beat punctuated by the sexy sound of a woman’s titillated voice.

I love to love you baby
I love to love you baby

The redhead looked to his left as he began to gyrate in time with the beat, licking his pink pout and raising his arms in the air before bringing his hands down to muss his hair seductively.

I'm feelin' sexy
I wanna hear you say my name boy

The redhead turned that piercing, kohl-rimmed gaze toward Naruto, approaching him slowly.

If you can reach me
You can feel my burning flame
(I'm feelin' kind of n-a-s-t-y
I might just take you home with me)

Naruto reached out for him, but the redhead retreated. The blond couldn’t help but admire how gracefully his sexy private dancer moved around on four-inch heels.

Baby the minute I feel your energy
Your vibe's just taken over me
Start feelin’ so crazy babe

The redhead reached for the zipper at the top of his coat and began to unzip it slowly, closing his eyes and still gyrating to the beat. He turned his back to Naruto for effect.

Lately I feel the funk coming over me
I don't know what's gotten into me
The rhythm's got me feelin' so crazy babe

Naruto’s face contorted into an expression of shock as the coat fell to the floor to reveal the redhead’s full regalia. The boots reached all the way up past the redhead’s knees; he wore a tiny black patent leather skirt that looked like a bandage and had a vertical zipper on each hip. The redhead’s shirt was a matching, long-sleeved affair with a single zipper down the front and vertical zipper that ran from wrist to elbow on both sleeves.

Holy fuck me. “Oh my God”, Naruto exclaimed at the riveting sight of black patent leather over porcelain skin and ruby-red hair. And a skirt—oh, holy fuck, a skirt! The blond’s cock was hard, definitely hard, and jumping around in his pants as though searching for an exit.

Tonight I’ll be your naughty girl
I'm callin’ all my girls
We're gon' turn this party out
I know you want my body

Before he knew what was happening, a heeled foot rested on the cushion between Naruto’s legs and the redhead was reaching for Naruto’s hand to slip a finger into his warm, wet mouth.

Tonight I’ll be your naughty girl
I'm callin’ all my girls
I see you look me up and down
And I came to party

Naruto was so distracted by the suction on his finger that he almost missed the dark laciness beneath the skirt that Mr. Ruby was teasing him with. His eyes flashed in shock before he reached out to grab the sexy redhead.

You're so sexy, tonight I am all yours, boy
The way your body moves across the floor
(You got me feelin' n-a-s-t-y
I might just take you home with me)

Mr. Ruby was too fast for the blond, releasing Naruto’s finger and retreating before he could catch him. Naruto stood up, prepared to pounce, but the dancer shook his head wordlessly, shaking a finger from side to side until he obediently resumed his perch on the couch.

Baby the minute I feel your energy
The vibe's just taken over me
Start feelin so crazy babe

The redhead ran his hands over his own chest as he lowered to a crouching position, revealing his nether lace once more, and then back to a standing position, his legs slightly spread. He raised one forearm vertically next to his face, reaching for the zipper with his other hand and staying in time with the beat.

Lately I feel the funk coming over me
I don't know what's gotten into me
The rhythm's got me feelin' so crazy babe

He lowered the zipper slowly while Naruto watched, a smirk finally teasing one corner of his mouth. Then he raised the other forearm for a repeat.

Tonight I’ll be your naughty girl
I'm callin’ all my girls
We're gon' turn this party out
I know you want my body

Naruto’s brain was mush as he watched the redhead unzip yet another article of clothing and let it drop to the floor. Now his hot dancer stood in front of him shirtless, his nipples hard, wearing a tiny black skirt that hid lacy underpants and long, shiny, zippered boots.

Tonight I’ll be your naughty girl
I'm callin’ all my girls
I see you look me up and down
And I came to party

The redhead gyrated more, giving himself to the heady beat as the air of the room cooled his heated skin. This was what Mr. Ruby was all about—he was a specter, composed of lust and passion and boundless sex appeal.

I love to love you baby
I love to love you baby

The redhead turned away from the blond once more, sliding a hand over to the zipper on his right hip.

I love to love you baby
I love to love you baby

He gyrated more, following suit with his other hand on that left zipper and looking coyly over his shoulder at the frustrated blond, who seemed to be restraining himself with some effort.

The redhead arched out seductively as those zippers were lowered with agonizing deliberation before the tiny scrap of apparel fell to the floor in two pieces, leaving the dancer clad in nothing but a lacy thong and thigh-high boots.

Tonight I’ll be your naughty girl
I'm callin’ all my girls
We're gon' turn this party out
I know you want my body

Naruto’s pupils dilated.

He had reached his limit. The zippers were bad enough, but now Mr. Ruby’s sweet ass—in a fucking black lace thong--was taunting him to pick a body part to use inside that puckered pink hole.

Oh, hell no.

“That’s it”, the redhead heard. He turned to find Naruto behind him, arousal radiating from him in palpable waves. In those boots, they realized, he and the blond were of equal height. They stood eye-to-eye for a moment before Naruto began to advance on him, his breathing labored, watching him with a look that promised the dancer he would spend the night being fucked raw.

“Mr. Ruby, you have outdone yourself”, Naruto announced as he backed that pale body into the wall, dipping his head and kissing him desperately, hungrily. The redhead was vaguely aware that the song was fading as he closed his eyes and surrendered to his lover’s mouth.

Naruto reached between them to cup the redhead’s lace-enclosed erection with one hand while reaching beneath the string of the thong with a finger from the other to discover that hole was already lubricated for him.

“A skirt, huh? Mr. Ruby’s a dirty boy”, Naruto breathed into his mouth.

God yes. The redhead moaned, loving the feel of that hand groping his twitching cock through the flimsy lace.

A finger pushed into the redhead’s ass, and he hissed. He pushed back, ready and eager.

“More”, he breathed.

Naruto stilled. “What was that, Mr. Ruby?” he asked in a sultry voice. “I didn’t know you spoke. I’ll tell you what. The only thing I want to see or hear Mr. Ruby open his mouth to do is suck my cock and squeal out my name for the rest of the day. Got it?”

Mr. Ruby’s cock jumped as he nodded. He found it a raging turn-on when Naruto was like this.

“Turn around”, the blond demanded, removing the digits from the redhead’s ass. Mr. Ruby did as he was told, bracing his arms against the wall in front of him. Naruto cupped his buttocks with two hands, kneading and rubbing the flesh as if it were dough. God, he was horny. He didn’t know what he wanted to do most—eat off that ass, spank it or fuck it hard.

“These boots are so fucking hot”, Naruto declared as he pushed his fingers back into that irresistible heat. Mr. Ruby moaned and spread his feet wider, wiggling his hips.

Naruto smacked him on one butt cheek with the palm of his hand, hard enough to make him recoil from the impact and moan out loud. “Hold still”, the blond ordered him, moving the buried digits with more aggression.

“I could cut glass”, Naruto told him, rubbing his clothed and twitching erection against the stinging cheek as he continued to stretch him. “See what you’ve done to me? Mr. Ruby’s going to take every god dam inch.”

A third finger was inserted and Mr. Ruby moaned louder, shaking his head. He couldn’t believe how excited he was.

Naruto leaned in to land gentle nips to the redhead’s back, reveling in the smell and taste of the beautiful man in front of him. “Where did you find all those zippers, Mr. Ruby?” he asked. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

The redhead responded by pushing back against those fingers in his ass. He was breathing harder now, his breath catching.

The feeling of Naruto’s fingers stroking his prostate caused Mr. Ruby to cry out. “Naruto”, he whined.

“There it is,” his lover responded. The blond withdrew his fingers from the redhead, causing him to whimper at the loss of sensation, and unbuckled his belt. “My turn to use a zipper, Mr. Ruby”, he announced.

Naruto moved slowly. The sound of the zipper’s teeth separating was making Mr. Ruby wiggle his hips impatiently. He was the tease here, and if he did say so himself, he’d done a remarkable job of it. How could Naruto be making him wait so long?

Mr. Ruby heard the sound of Naruto’s pants and boxers falling to the floor and being kicked away just before an impatient hand grabbed hold of the lacy thong. He had just enough time to brace himself before the flimsy garment was ripped away, abrading his hard and leaking cock and hot balls.

“Ah!” Mr. Ruby wailed. It was part pleasure, part pain and totally erotic. He almost didn’t register the feel of Naruto’s hot hardened flesh being rubbed against his butt or the telltale scent of the lubricant wafting into the air before a hand gripped his hip and the slickened head of the blond’s engorged cock was pushing into him.

Mr. Ruby’s head fell back, his mouth open in a soundless cry. God, so much pressure! Naruto’s cock was a fat thing with a big mushroom tip. The redhead was so full, he felt like he was being split in two. But he wanted it. He wanted Naruto to spend the night plundering his ass with that machine between his legs.

Naruto paused. He could see that Mr. Ruby needed a moment. He took the opportunity to look down between them where their bodies were joined together and shook his head.

“Do you want some more, Mr. Ruby?” he asked.

A ragged, breathy moan and slight shifting on those high-heeled boots were the blond’s response.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Naruto smirked as he pushed, not stopping until his balls made contact with the warm flesh of the redhead’s ass.

He jerked from the sensation of being clenched tightly in that heat while Mr. Ruby whimpered.

“Fuck, you fit me like a glove”, Naruto told him. “It’s hurting me not to hammer into you.”

What are you waiting for? Mr. Ruby thought to himself. I’m standing here with your two-pound dick in my ass. I danced for you, for this. Now give it to me!

“Naruto”, the redhead called out, shifting on those heels again. He pushed back, his breath catching at the sensation of taking him deeper and hoping the blond would get the hint.

He did. “Relax, Mr. Ruby”, he said, pulling back slowly. That thick cock moved smoothly. “It’s coming.”

He slammed forward, grunting as he did, his fingers digging into the redhead’s hips.

“Naruto!” Mr. Ruby squealed in pleasure. At last, he was getting it.

“Oh, holy God in Heaven, you are exquisite”, Naruto breathed through clenched teeth, shifting and angling his hips. “Fuck my cock, Mr. Ruby. Take what you want.”

“Naruto!” the redhead squealed again. He began to push out and pull in with his hips; semi-frantic movements that told his lover how much he wanted it, wanted him—and needed to get off.

The blond met the movements of his hips with movements of his own. They were synchronized at first, but the combination of the change in the redhead’s height due to the stiletto heels he wore and Naruto’s shirt and tie quickly became a bothersome interference.

“Fuck”, Naruto exclaimed in frustration. He reached for his tie, which was wet at the bottom, and yanked it off over his head with one hand, tossing it away.

He pulled out of the redhead, who gasped in shock. Why?!

“Turn around and take off my shirt”, Naruto ordered.

Mr. Ruby released trembling arms from the wall and stood up on trembling legs, turning to face his lover, who wore only white socks and a button-down shirt that was soaked on the bottom from Naruto’s wet cock. He decided it was sexier than it was funny. Still, it was funny, and the redhead found it necessary to suppress a giggle.

Besides, he had a job to do.

Mr. Ruby reached up with both hands to grab the shirt just above the highest fastened button. He hesitated, only for a second, before jerking the shirt apart, flinching slightly from the force. Small shirt buttons popped off and flew in all directions, landing in the fiber of the carpet like raindrops with gentle plops.

He pushed the shirt from the blond’s shoulders and it fell to the floor. He ran his hand over his lover’s naked chest, feeling the pounding of the lawyer's heart beneath his fingertips.

Mine.

“Very efficient, Mr. Ruby”, Naruto breathed, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull them flush. He licked the redhead’s sweaty cheek before taking his mouth in another feeding kiss.

Mr. Ruby wrapped his arms around the blond’s neck, surrendering to the kiss and enjoying the friction of those two erections rubbing against each other between them. Naruto grabbed two handfuls of the redhead’s ass again, kneading the flesh once more. It had become his new favorite place to put his hands.

The redhead pulled back to nip at Naruto’s bottom lip, ending their kiss. He then unwrapped one arm from the blond’s neck and moved it around to his rear, shoving two fingers in his hungry hole.

He whimpered, watching his lover’s face. Mr. Ruby was ready for his first orgasm with Naruto of the day, and the blond was stalling.

The lawyer smiled. “Impatient”, he assessed. “Alright, Mr. Ruby. I won’t make you wait any longer.”

He turned the redhead away from him. “On your knees”, he directed.

Mr. Ruby pulled his fingers from his ass and got down on his knees. The smooth patent leather of the boots made it difficult for the redhead to find purchase on the carpet.

He looked up, intending to communicate this to his lover, but Naruto was already behind him, his hips in his hands and pushing that hard cock into him.

The sensation of being refilled distracted him from his predicament. But then Naruto pulled back and slammed forward, causing Mr. Ruby to cry out. He dug his hands into the carpet in an attempt to brace himself, but it was no good. One knee slipped, soon followed by the other, until both bodies toppled forward.

But the blond’s message had been well received. He wasn’t about to let something else distract him from the thing they both wanted—gratifying mutual release. Naruto let go of one hip and wound his arm beneath the redhead’s thigh, lifting it away from his body. Bracing himself on his knees, he resumed his plunder of the redhead’s gorgeous bottom.

Mr. Ruby’s eyes widened at this change in position and he began to cry out the blond’s name. Naruto’s body was an unyielding force above him, thrusts causing white-hot friction between the smooth skin of his erection and the carpet beneath him. He held on to it for dear life as tears pooled in his eyes at the brutal exploitation of his prostate. This was what Mr. Ruby wanted, and more; the decadence, the sin of it was overwhelming.

Sweat dripped from the blond’s body. “Fuck, Mr. Ruby”, he panted, “I’m getting close.”

Getting close? The redhead bit his lip. If Naruto went on like this for too long they would have to call an ambulance when he was done. No way was Mr. Ruby walking out of that room as it was, let alone in those heels.

“Have I mentioned how hot you are in those boots? I told you you’d get every inch.”

“Naruto”, Mr. Ruby bit out. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t take much more. Between the carpet against his dick and Naruto’s big hot cock in his ass, he was ready to combust. Orgasms needed to happen, and they needed to happen now.

“Please”, he whimpered, unseen tears falling from his eyes.

Naruto barely heard the plea. He slowed his movements but didn’t stop. “Please what?” he asked.

The words were a desperate whimper. “Save me.”

The words stunned Naruto into stopping. He released the redhead’s leg from his grip, allowing it to fall to the floor with a thump. Then he pulled out, the sensation of which caused both men to grunt aloud.

The blond got up on his knees, watching as Mr. Ruby’s hold on the carpet released. The redhead made a cautious attempt to get up on his knees, bending his shaky arms at the elbows to push himself up off the floor.

“Take it easy”, Naruto told him, wiping the sweat away from his face with one hand. “Can you lie on your side?”

The redhead nodded, moving carefully onto one side and exposing his angry red erection—red, because that orgasm wasn’t far off and also because he’d been chafed to within an inch of his life.

Naruto mentally winced at the painful-looking image. He felt bad. He was so caught up in what he was doing that he actually forgot that there was shag carpet beneath them. He would love to salve the abrasion by engulfing that cock with his mouth, but he suppressed the urge, because he knew he would just end up getting distracted and playing in the curls.

Besides, his lover’s request was very specific, and he wasn’t about to disappoint him another time.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Ruby. Here, let’s get you out of these.”

The blond reached for the top of one boot with two hands, finding the zipper and easing it all the way down. He was mildly surprised to discover a knee-high nylon under it.

Smiling, he eased the shoe off Mr. Ruby’s foot, laying it aside. Then, using two hands, he slowly slid the nylon down that muscled calf and off his foot as well. The redhead managed to wiggle his toes, which reassured Naruto since it meant he could still feel his legs.

He moved the leg gently in order to follow suit with the other boot.

When he finished, Naruto just stopped and looked at the perfectly pale naked redhead lying on the floor in front of him, flushed and sweaty, his cock hard. It was a classic vision that reminded the blond of an Old Italian painting, or a marble sculpture to which someone had magically bestowed life.

“You are beautiful”, Naruto told him.

Mr. Ruby was quietly resting, his eyes closed, grateful for the blond’s indulgence and in fact feeling spoiled by it.

Naruto crawled over to the lube he’d carelessly tossed to the floor earlier, grabbing it before crawling back over to where Mr. Ruby lay on the carpet. He pressed it into the redhead’s hand. “Lube yourself”, he whispered to him.

What for? He thought before he realized that Naruto meant for him to lube his cock. Well duh. The redhead opened the bottle quickly, gingerly slicking his sore erection with the cool fluid.

Naruto moved into position on the floor behind him, stroking his skin and leaving soft kisses on his shoulder. That hard cock was pressed against his ass, causing the redhead to close his eyes in anticipation.

“Do you still want me here?” Naruto asked, gently rimming the redhead with the tip of one finger.

Mr. Ruby exhaled a sharp breath, nodding his head. Okay, so his ass was sore and his cock felt like someone had tried to jack him off with sandpaper. He was hard, Naruto was hard, and as far as he was concerned the only way that was going to change was for Naruto to bring them both to orgasm. If it made Mr. Ruby some sort of masochist, well, then so be it.

At any rate, Naruto seemed more than up to the task.

The blond slid an arm beneath the redhead’s thigh and lifted his leg once more, aiming his still-slippery cock and pushing it inside that tight bloom. “Mr. Ruby is a sexy boy”, he breathed against the redhead’s neck.

Mr. Ruby whimpered and arched into that thrust as it filled him. So amazing…they could do this for hours, days at a time, and yet, the feel of being so completely full just never got old. Six weeks and an alter-ego later, Naruto could still keep him guessing.

The blond paced himself, moving in and out of the redhead with steady, even strokes. When encouraged, he picked up speed, growling low into the redhead’s ear.

“Ah, you are magnificent”, he told him, and meant it.

Mr. Ruby reached for his cock, stroking it tentatively at first. When his need for release began to gnaw at him once more he movements became more aggressive. Naruto shifted behind him, angling himself so that the redhead’s prostate was being punished again.

Mr. Ruby called out. “Naruto”, he said, the urgency in his voice impossible to misinterpret.

Naruto reinforced his hold on the redhead’s leg. That was his cue. “As you wish, Mr. Ruby.”

He showed no mercy, putting the force of every muscle in his body behind his thrusting. Mr. Ruby was quickly awash in a sea of stars and white. He opened his mouth and wailed, moaned, grunted, and whimpered, all in no particular sequence, until there was nothing except Naruto huffing into his ear as he ferociously pounded his ass and the force of the mind-numbing salvation that overtook him.

Naruto quickly followed, biting into his shoulder with a growl as he ejected long, powerful spurts of hot cum into the redhead’s clenching ass.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They were both breathing hard, both trembling. Naruto released his hold on Mr. Ruby’s leg and let it fall, his flaccid cock slipping out of the man’s body. He licked the spot where he’d bitten his lover to soothe it, and then kissed it lightly.

He rubbed the redhead’s thigh in circles. “You okay?” he asked.

The redhead nodded, moaning lightly. Naruto chuckled and kissed his back again. “Your zipper dance should come with a warning, Mr. Ruby.”

A deep contented sigh was the redhead’s only response. The blond was right. They way they’d gone at it, the two men might need protective pads and signed waivers next time.

Mr. Ruby was exhausted. His cock and ass were sore. There was cum all over his hand, and on the carpet in front of him. That last thought made him smile. He’d marked this territory as his own.

Meow, he thought to himself as he lay there enjoying his afterglow and the feel of his lover spooning him. If it were possible for humans to purr the way cats do, then he’d be doing it—loudly.


Naruto lay behind Mr. Ruby, thinking about his life. Since he’d become Tenzou’s attorney, things had gone from predictable to what the fuck? It was ironic, because although he’d brought all the craziness with him, Tenzou seemed to be the only normal element of Naruto’s life anymore, relatively speaking.

As for Mr. Ruby…it was their fourth encounter in six weeks. Naruto didn’t know when Mr. Ruby first appeared, if he had only ever appeared for Naruto, or what prompted his appearances. He would just receive a phone call from him, out of the blue.

The blond didn’t have a problem with Gaara’s alter-ego. He’d be the last person to consider something like that strange. He was just happy that when Mr. Ruby made an appearance, he was the one who got the call.

Naruto thought of Mr. Ruby’s zipper dance and made a command decision to find out where he shopped. He had never really considered the ultimate eroticism of a zipper until today, and now he wanted to see more.

For the redhead’s efforts he would take him into the bathroom, run him a hot bath, wash his hair, feed him while he soaked, and carry him into the bedroom…

Then he’d get the jar of brown gravy from his kitchen cupboard and treat his ass like it was a biscuit.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Gaara unzips his sleeves on the cover of a freaking manga and all hell breaks loose, LOL.

Gaara in a patent leather skirt and fuck-me boots. Holy shit that’s hot!

The ‘zipper dance’ song is Naughty Girl, performed by Beyonce. For the three people on the planet who don’t know it, this link is provided for your edification: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7a24mf_76k

I do have fun writing this stuff. I hope you enjoyed reading it. Buh-bye now, and don’t forget to write (a review, that is)!