Altering Affection

A/N: Hi there! Posted by request, here is "Altering Affection" - the first story of the Monoshizukanohi series. Story is complete, and I will be updating as I can. Enjoy!

~*~

Lee stood on the sidewalk staring at the entrance to Green Dojo and swallowed thickly. The sun was high in the sky, beaming down and baking the concrete, which explained the sweat forming between his shoulder blades. It wasn’t nerves – it was hot out here.

Right.

It’s just the dojo, Lee said to himself, feeling no need to be formal in the confines of his own brain while trying to give himself an ass kicking. I’ve been here thousands of times – I practically lived here during my rehab. Just. Go. Inside.

Lee’s feet did not obey. Sighing, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, the old and familiar ache in his left leg serving as a grounding force. The car crash that claimed the lives of his parents and crushed the left half of Lee’s body turned out to be equal parts curse and blessing. Lee mourned his family every day, but his uncle was kind and supportive. And when Lee’s doctor recommended martial arts to help him through parts of Lee’s rehab, his uncle took him to Green Dojo.

Gai-sensei was brilliant in his skill, practically psychic in his understanding, and amazingly enthusiastic. The accident happened nearly 13 years ago, and in that time Gai-sensei had helped Lee through surgeries, pain, anger, and, finally, to recovery. When the healing ended, the friendship began, and Lee felt fortunate indeed to have someone who cared so much and so deeply in his life.

Lee shakily exhaled, the sheer force of emotion difficult to contain. He was here for a reason – an honorable and noble reason – and that alone should be enough to encourage his feet to move. In fact, if Gai-sensei knew Lee stood frozen by nerves and doubt when he had a job to do…well, there’d be 1,000 laps around the block in Lee’s future for sure.

With Gai-sensei’s disapproving look firmly fixed in his mind, Lee drew himself up and finally went inside. The familiar wall of awards and photos to Lee’s right was comforting, as were the benches to the left where students could wait for their class. A counter ran along the back of the small entrance building, and a door leading out into the property behind the street front was to the left of the counter. The lights were on, but no one manned this room on Sundays. There was a bell, however, that would summon Gai-sensei or one of his assistants in short order. Lee never used the bell. Gai gave Lee a key years ago when it became obvious that Lee’s training didn’t stop when all the other students left for the day.

Lee shakily removed his keys from his backpack and berated himself again for nerves using his sensei’s strongest reproaches. Being this nervous was downright un-youthful. Frowning, he unlocked the door that led out of the entry building to the grounds beyond and then locked the door back behind him.

Sunlight fell in patches and blocks through the varied and carefully maintained foliage of Gai’s garden. A covered path led from the entrance building to the much larger dojo proper. Another covered path led from the dojo itself to a small, light-green building that served as Gai’s home. A Zen garden – complete with new patterns, Lee noticed – stood between the entry building and Gai’s house. A storage shed – also painted green – was to Lee’s far right. A twelve-foot privacy fence enclosed the entire property.

It was an utterly beautiful place. Lee could hear the soft thud of the bamboo fountain in the water feature situated under the shade of several large and healthy trees. The summer had been kind so far to the flowers and bushes that Gai-sensei carefully tended, and their sweet smell permeated the air. Lee helped as often as he could – installing benches or watering plants or doing anything Gai-sensei asked him to do. The garden meant a lot to his mentor.

And Lee would do anything for his beloved sensei.

The thought and the emotion behind it pained Lee and the enormity of his plans crashed down on him again. Yes, his intentions were good, his reasons for being here noble…

But his methods?

Lee gulped, the sound audible in the pleasant silence of the garden.

Lee hoped beyond hope that he would get to see this garden again – get to see his sensei again. He hoped the man who understood Lee more than anyone else alive would also understand Lee’s desperation and why he had to do this. If anyone could – it was Gai-sensei.

Movement in the dojo distracted Lee from his dark thoughts. Gai-sensei spent Sunday afternoons training and preparing the dojo for Monday’s classes. Lee could catch his sensei alone today; all the assistants got Sunday off.

Negativity will do no good, Lee told himself. I am here, I have a plan, and if it all falls apart I can only hope Sensei will forgive me. This is it – my last attempt. I cannot fail.

“I will not fail,” Lee said. A robin chirped back in reply. Lee took that as a good sign.

Practically marching in his resolve, Lee walked the length of the covered path and slid the door to the dojo aside. The entire back wall of the training building was composed of windows, letting natural light shine throughout the interior. As soon as he was inside, Lee heard the telltale sounds of Gai-sensei training. Lee shut the door, took three steps into the large, open room, and stopped in his tracks.

Gai flew through the air in a move that tempted fate and taunted gravity and landed a solid kick to a bag that was held in place by rope extending from floor to ceiling. Without pause, Gai spun and landed another thundering kick with the opposite leg, the bag swaying and shuddering. He finished his set with a flurry of right and left hooks that surely would crack the skull of any opponent.

Then, in a display of acrobatics that left Lee’s knees a little weak, Gai-sensei easily flipped himself into a back handspring and made to reset and do it all again.

It didn’t matter that Lee had seen this particular set hundreds of times. It didn’t matter that Lee could perform the same series of moves with much the same power and skill. What mattered was that Gai-sensei was a work of art when he trained – fluid, powerful, and graceful.

Also – shirtless and sweating and utterly masculine.

Oh, God, Lee thought. This is never going to work.

“Ah, my star pupil!” Gai smiled at Lee, open and easy, and walked toward him casually unwrapping and then rewrapping his left hand.

Lee watched the muscles move as his sensei approached, saw the size of his hands, measured the power in his stride. Lee’s backpack felt enormously heavy in that moment – the weight of a plan that could go horribly awry dragging down his right shoulder.

To cover both his nerves and his scowl at those nerves, Lee bowed deeply at the waist. “Gai-sensei,” he said. He let the pack fall to the floor.

“I am sorry to disturb you,” Lee said, still bowing. Keep calm, keep calm, he told himself.

“Nonsense!” Gai said. “You’re always welcome, Lee.”

“Thank you, Sensei,” Lee said and slowly rose. He would not become distracted by the width of Gai-sensei’s shoulders nor the taut abdominals that gleamed with –

Oh, God.

Gai laughed. “Lee, how many times must I tell you that when there’s no class and it’s just you and me, you can relax?”

Relax. While alone with Gai-sensei. With wicked and desperate plans in mind. Yeah, that was going to happen.

“Um, yes, ah…” Lee faltered, not sure how to begin. He’d rehearsed the speech with Kakashi nearly 100 times, but being face-to-face with Gai-sensei put everything into harsh perspective. Why – oh WHY – did Lee ever think that going to Kakashi with his problems would help? The man read porn in public and owned a bar. In what universe did that make him good at giving advice?

“Lee, did you…” Gai frowned and cocked his head to one side. “Change your hair?”

Lee’s hand flew to his head, fingers catching on a piece of dark, gelled hair. Now Lee mentally cursed Neji for talking him into letting Ino have her wicked way with his hair. A part of Lee – the calmer and eternally optimistic part that was still convinced everything would work out for the best – knew he would feel bad later for thinking such awful things about his friends.

“Ahm, yes,” Lee said, hesitantly. “I had it…well, Ino cut it and did something with a product, I think.” Lee’s bowl cut was now shorter and choppier, the overall effect surprising to Lee. It was amazing what girls could do with a few snips of scissors and a pint of clear goo.

“I like it!” Gai said enthusiastically. “I think it truly suits you.”

Lee relaxed a few degrees. “Thank you, Gai-sensei.”

“And the clothes!” Gai said, grinning.

Lee looked down at his black, fitted, v-neck shirt and jeans and gulped. Surely Gai-sensei would know something was up. Any minute now, Gai-sensei would say, “Lee, what do you think you’re doing?” And the entire plan would fall apart before it was off the ground.

Gai stepped closer to Lee and pulled him into a one-armed hug. Lee’s heart pounded and mouth went dry. Gai leaned closer and spoke softly, one conspirator to another.

“Anyone would be thrilled to see you looking like this, Lee.”

“Oh…” Lee said, his voice quiet. “I hope so.”

“Did you come to tell me you’ve finally decided to come clean to your special person?”

Lee’s heart stopped, restarted, and then promptly sank into his stomach.

“G-Gai-sensei?”

Gai laughed. “So nervous! Ah, my adorable favorite pupil!” Gai released Lee and stretched his back, hands on his hips. “You know, the one you’ve been admiring from afar. That you’ve told me about – without any details, might I add.” Gai held up one finger and winked at Lee.

“I should hope that maybe now you’ll tell me more about her, yes?” Gai bent over at the waist and stretched some more, which was completely distracting.

“Ahm…actually…”

“Hm?”

“I am here…” Lee closed his eyes, heard Kakashi’s reassurances that this would, indeed, work. He reached for the desperation that led him to this point, felt the frustration of years of denial, and finally found something that passed for courage.

“I am actually here for a bit of training, Gai-sensei.” Lee stood straight and lifted his chin. “If Gai-sensei has time for me, I am in need of guidance.”

Gai blinked, gave Lee and his appearance a once-over, and then recovered. “Of course,” he said. “Would you like to borrow a gi? Or-”

“No,” Lee said, perhaps a bit too quickly. He mentally admonished himself, knowing that if this was to work, he needed to be the best actor he could be. “Actor” sounded so much better than “liar” or “manipulator.”

Lee winced and then shoved aside his conscience. A man has to do what a man has to do.

“No, Sensei, I don’t think I will need one. I was hoping you could help me with something that probably will not require much…strain.” At first, anyway.

“Oh?” Gai smiled at Lee encouragingly. “What’s that?”

“Knots.”

“Come again?” Gai said.

“Knots, Gai-sensei.”

Gai frowned. “Explain,” he said and crossed his arms.

Practically tingling with nerves but trying not to let it show, Lee squared his shoulders to address his sensei with the utmost respect he could manage.

“I have been learning about tying knots,” Lee said. “Because it occurred to me that it might be useful at some point to know how to secure someone while I wait for help.”

“Wait for help?” Gai asked.

Lee nodded earnestly, his eyes wide. “For instance, if an assailant tried to harm me-“

“Which he could not do,” Gai interjected, pride in his voice.

Lee thrilled a bit at his mentor’s tone and continued. “Yes – but once I’d subdued him, I might need to wait for the police. It seems impractical to just…sit on or hold or otherwise restrain the attacker until that happens. Response times are not what they should be in this city.”

Gai nodded seriously, his brows furrowed.

“So, I have been learning about knots and ways to secure a person for such a situation.”

“That’s fantastic, Lee!” Gai exclaimed. “Such initiative! You remain unmatched by any of my other students.”

Lee beamed and mentally cheered. This was going exactly according to plan.

“Now, how may I be of assistance in your endeavor?”

“Gai-sensei, with your permission, I would like to test my knowledge of knots thus far.”

At this, Lee saw a muscle in his teacher’s jaw twitch. The smile and the stance remained the same, but Lee knew Gai-sensei very well. He needed to tread carefully.

“Oh?” Gai said.

Lee nodded and channeled every pure emotion and ounce of respect he had for Gai-sensei. He must appear humble, earnest…without ulterior motive.

“So you want to…do what, exactly?”

“Tie you up, Gai-sensei.” Lee said in his best shouldn’t-this-be-obvious-and-normal voice.

Gai’s eyes widened slightly and Lee marveled at Kakashi’s advice. It seemed the porn-lover might actually know Gai better than Lee after all. Perhaps instead of practicing kidney punches on the white-haired man Lee would bake him a cake instead.

“Ah, Lee, I’m not so sure-“

“I only ask you because I know that you are the ultimate test of my skill, sensei. If I can manage to successful tie you, then no other foe will have a chance against me!”

Lee watched as Gai-sensei swallowed and tried to keep his face neutral. If Kakashi was correct, Lee knew exactly what was going through his beloved sensei’s mind, and Lee struggled to keep his cool, too. As if the sight of the man half-dressed and disheveled from training wasn’t bad enough…

“I agree that I would probably be a good test of your skill, Lee, but-“

“Excellent, Gai-sensei!” Lee exclaimed. “I knew you would help me.”

Lee immediately turned and practically ran to grab a chair. The chair was wooden, thankfully, and not plastic or folding. When Lee devised his plan, he thought of this chair as it always sat in one corner of the dojo for whatever reason.

Lee placed the chair in front of a round support pole and turned to grab Gai-sensei. He didn’t want to give his mentor enough time to really think or back out of this.

“If you will just sit here, Sensei,” Lee said and pushed Gai into the chair. For his part, Gai let him, though Gai looked several degrees of unsure.

I can do this, Lee said to himself as he grabbed his pack and unzipped it. He yanked out a considerable amount of nylon cord and a pair of surgical scissors and struggled to contain his rapid heartbeat.

This is the only way, and I can do this.

Lee repeated the phrase to himself several times as he knelt next to his sensei’s feet and began to position the rope.

“Lee, um,” Gai began but seemed to lose his train of thought as Lee hastily found the middle of the longest length of rope and positioned it behind the pole.

“Yes, Gai-sensei?” Lee asked.

“How much have you studied this knot-tying business?”

“I’ve read a few books and researched on the Internet,” Lee answered. That was mostly true, although a “few” books was more like 20. And then he’d practiced the knots until his hands bled. Every night for a week.

“I see,” Gai said and Lee didn’t miss that Gai’s leg twitched as Lee began to secure it to the chair and then back to the pole. Lee quickly repeated the process on the other leg and got the same muscle twitch. Lee tried his best to concentrate on working the rope, tying the knots, and securing his sensei. He didn’t want to think too hard about Gai-sensei’s reaction – or lack thereof – when the rest of Lee’s plan was revealed.

And Lee really didn’t want to think about the fact that he was on his knees tying Gai to a chair and pole with his face only inches from Gai’s crotch.

“I didn’t know you were so interested in knots, Lee,” Gai said, his voice level. “It’s an interest of mine as well.”

“Oh, I know,” Lee said and was glad that Gai couldn’t see his face as Lee’s eyes widened at the slip. Dammit – he was a horrible actor!

“You do?” Gai asked, genuine surprise in his voice.

“Well, of course, Gai-sensei,” Lee said respectfully. “I would imagine that anything in the realm of protecting oneself would be of interest to you.”

“Right,” Gai said, relief in his voice. “Of course.”

Lee congratulated himself for all of two seconds before he realized he needed to tie Gai’s hands. Without looking at Gai’s face – because that might undo any resolve Lee had – he gently pulled Gai’s left arm down beside the chair. Gai didn’t resist, and Lee relaxed a bit. Moving swiftly, he secured Gai’s arm to the chair and then wrapped the rope around the pole to do the same to the other arm. Lee moved gracefully around the chair and Gai, never pausing, never hesitating.

It wasn’t until he tied the last knot that Lee noticed that Gai was no longer “Gai-sensei” but simply, “Gai” in his mind. Lee understood the significance of this. Lee was no longer a child – no longer a mere student. He hadn’t been for a long time, truth be told, and well…when you were about to do what Lee was going to do, it was best to start thinking in terms of equality.

“There,” Lee said softly. “I think I’m finished.”

“Wonderful!” Gai said, but his voice was strained. His legs and arms were tied to the chair – the slats of the chair allowing the rope to secure Gai’s arms at the sides – and then a complicated series of knots and slack secured everything to the pole. If Lee was right, Gai shouldn’t be able to move more than a couple of inches.

“Try to move,” Lee commanded quietly. Lee didn’t really have to ask – Gai was already flexing against the rope. The knots held easily.

“I think you may have considerable skill in this area, Lee!” Gai said and smiled up at his pupil. Lee stood in front of Gai with his hands on his hips, his eyes assessing. He watched as Gai licked his lips and tried to move without being too obvious about it.

“You do?” Lee asked, more for just something to say. He knew what he wanted to do next – and that would take him beyond the point of no return. If he just left it at this – and he could – nothing would change. He could just take the surgical scissors that lay on the floor near the chair, cut Gai free, and that would end this.

Except it wouldn’t. And Lee had honestly tried everything else over the past several weeks.

Everything.

But Gai simply didn’t hear him – didn’t understand.

And Lee desperately wanted Gai to understand how he felt. The only thing that eclipsed that need was the hope that Gai would…well, not react too badly.

“Oh, yes,” Gai said. He shifted and Lee heard his breath catch. Lee stood still, staring down at Gai, his expression neutral. The tension in the room eased up a few more notches and Gai squirmed more, this time not trying to keep it surreptitious.

“Ah, Lee? Is there something…” Gai’s voice trailed off, and Lee paid it no mind.

Lee let his eyes wander over Gai – his loose pants twisted and restrained by the cord, his arms and legs confined, his back straight, his bare chest moving with each breath. Lee let desire give him courage and took a step forward. Gai’s eyes widened, incomprehension written all over his face. Even now, he didn’t accept what was happening – that the tables had turned. Lee wanted to destroy something in sheer frustration.

Because even now, with his erection clearly showing through his loose pants, Gai didn’t know or acknowledge where Lee was going with all this.

Gai could not possibly be this obtuse. Even I’m not that bad, Lee thought.

The desire and frustration pushed Lee forward and beyond the point of going back. With a graceful swing of his leg, Lee straddled Gai’s right leg and then easily shifted his balance to straddle the other leg. Then Lee sat gently down on Gai’s lap, putting their faces inches apart and their erections against one another.

Gai’s body spasmed and he gasped. “Lee…”

“Yes, Sensei?” Lee leaned forward and ran his mouth over the skin of Gai’s shoulder. So good – he smelled and felt so good. Lee flicked his tongue – so carefully, so lightly – and tasted Gai’s skin. Lee sighed in happiness. He realized then that the entire plan was worth it for this one, single moment. If nothing else – Lee would always have this.

And now Lee needed to make the man desperate enough to listen to the rest of the story.

Lee reached behind Gai to steady himself with the pole and then slowly he ground down into Gai’s lap, dragging himself over Gai’s hardness. Lee’s mouth fell open and he softly moaned, the thrill of the moment and the sensation overwhelming him.

Gai’s expression was equal parts incomprehension, distrust, and desire. The older man’s body trembled and Lee thought for a second they would both pass out: Gai from shock and Lee from unbridled lust.

“What…why…” Gai whispered and licked his lips.

“Gai,” Lee said, his breath moving a piece of Gai’s hair. Gai’s eyes were wide and wild, his body tense, breathing erratic. This was so good – so right. Lee wanted to cry out in sheer triumphant joy that this worked, that his plan managed to get Gai right where he wanted him: helpless and in no position to run or avoid Lee.

Lee sighed happily and stilled on Gai’s lap. He was definitely baking Kakashi a cake.

“Gai,” Lee said, putting his hands on his beloved’s face.

“We need to talk.”

~*~