Strengthening The Bond

The best thing about it all, Shikamaru decided, was that it really hadn't been as clichéd as he had feared it would be. It had been a bit awkward, and it had come out a lot more stupid when he actually said it than it had sounded in his mind. But he'd done it, and the silence hung between them.

Shikamaru was almost fifteen, casually sitting on a tree stump next to his sensei who was laying on the grass and quite happy in their quiet state. Well, was was the right word. Because now Asuma was sitting upright and frowning at his feet, as if he'd been told something grave but strange at the same time, and he was trying to deal with it.

Which was probably how it had sounded, Shikamaru thought. It wasn't every day that you just dropped that into the conversation. He didn't know what to do now, waiting in this awkward limbo between... Between whatever Asuma was going to say to him.

“Shikamaru, I-... Uh... Wow...”

Yeah. It wasn't every day you casually mentioned to your sensei that you had a crush on someone. That that someone was a guy. Well, a man.

And that that man was you.

“... Have you told anyone else about, um, this?”

“No.” Shikamaru was careful to keep his tone neutral. “You know, you don't have to give me some sort of... Answer or anything. It's not like I asked you out,” he snorted, a dry sound Asuma copied a second later.

But he'd done as good as.

“Yeah... I know, but still...”

Shikamaru stood easily, brushing down his trousers. “I just wanted to let you know, that's all. I'm not going to tell anyone else, and this doesn't need to come up again in conversation.”

“How long have you...?”

… Apparently, Asuma wasn't going to let him brush it off. Slowly, trying to gauge Asuma's mood, he sat back down on the stump. “About a year now.”

“... Oh... That's a long time...”

“... Yeah, well... Long enough to convince me it's not some passing fancy or 'stage'.”

Asuma gave him a look that clearly told Shikamaru he wasn't making things 'easier'. How troublesome, but he'd already come so far... He should make sure that although he wasn't necessarily asking Asuma to act on anything, he wanted him to know that his feelings were genuine.

“I mean it, sensei, I'm not asking for anything or expecting some sort of chick-flick secret love confession from you. It was eating me inside, and I had to tell you. That's all. I'm not trying to pressure you into anything.”

“... I know, Shikamaru... I mean, I know you're not trying to force me to do or say anything, not about this.” He laughed, a tad hysterically. “I didn't even have a clue about this.”

“Aa, well... I didn't exactly act on it.”

“... No... You were very discreet...”

“Guess I've blown my cover now though,” he smiled, trying to keep things light and easy between them.

“Yeah... Are you sure these aren't just... Feelings of... Parental, or sibling love that you think is what you say it is?”

… Shikamaru gave him a Look. A look that said 'I'm a teen guy with pretty normal teen guy hormones. I don't feel this way about my family.'

“... Guess not,” Asuma mumbled. Shikamaru snorted again, forcing himself to look away as he faked a yawn. As if he wasn't affected by this at all. Finally Asuma took pity on him and slowly stood.

“... Well... I'm glad you told me about this, Shikamaru... It was very honest and brave...”

Shikamaru slowly stood too, brushing his pants down again and waiting for the 'but'.

“... But... I don't feel the same about you. I mean, you're only a kid for god's sake...”

Shikamaru stuck his hands in his pockets and grinned up at Asuma. “Yeah. I know.” He turned, starting to walk in the direction of home. “Thanks for hearing me out, sensei.”

“... Shikamaru...!”

“Mmn?” He paused, looking over his shoulder as Asuma grinned. “See you at training tomorrow...!”

“... Aa... Troublesome...” He turned with a lazy wave and kept walking.

It hurt more than he'd been expecting. He hadn't thought Asuma would feel the same, not really. Not realistically. After all, he was a full grown man, and Shikamaru was just... A kid. As wise as any full grown man and then some, but still... A kid. He sighed, closing his eyes a little.

… But it felt a little better to say it... Hell, at least he'd tried.



To be continued...~!