Invisible Thread
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Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male › Gaara/Naruto
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Category:
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male › Gaara/Naruto
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,674
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, sadly that means we do not own it and have gained nothing for writing this.
Invisible Thread
A/N: We are our own Betas and worst critics... Mostly written by FairyNiamh Off of a sweet and heartfelt poem written Drivven Labyrinth
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There are people in our lives that strike a chord deep within. People we have never met or barely know that just fit so tightly against our souls we cannot imagine a time without them. In fact we are certain that they were always there all along. There is a connection; a feeling of 'knowing' that makes us certain that we have known them before. Our paths have crossed and our souls have touched before. Of this we are so very certain. There is no proof but the odd coincidences; the strange knowledge of what the other is thinking before they speak; the odd commonalities where no one else has ever understood us. They get us, without trying. Or they don't get us, but know that they don't need to try, because we are as we are and they accept it without question.
Who are these people? Do you know? Do you have one? You are blessed if you do. If you do not, then all I can say is perhaps you are too new. Perhaps you have not had the time to cultivate such a bond. Or perhaps, your paths have not crossed just yet, but that your precious 'known' one is out there still, waiting for the right moment to come to you. Or perhaps, your heart is too closed to see them, hear them, know them for who they are. May whatever power or deity you believe in or don't; help you open yourself to them. I have such bonds. I have been blessed with more than one. One is my Nii-san... I shudder to think of what I would have become if Iruka hadn't stepped in at just the right moment.
Another is my younger yet elder sister. An odd expression I know... but there is no other way to describe it. Hinata, younger than me by only a few months, but her eyes show her as an old soul. Someone who has seen more than any of us will ever know in our lifetime. There is so much understanding, love, and tolerance there. I've had to stop myself from calling her Obaa-chan on more than one occasion.
The other is my friend... my lover. When we first met it was... painful for me to even look at him. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I was looking at myself had Iruka not saved me from myself. The pain, anger, and longing in his eyes... it was just too much like my own without my mask in place. I felt... naked and exposed.
I always wondered if he had noticed the very things I did. I've never asked him though and I never will. I might wonder about it... but I am truly too afraid to find out the truth.
Our friendship started out like most of my friendships. That is to say that it was violent; a fight. A fight I always felt bad about. I have never wanted to strip any persons blindfold away from them... but that is exactly what I did. I have done it to so many people in the past... just fighting and waiting for someone to tear mine off to expose me to myself.
I made up for tearing the blindfold off though. I kept in touch with him always letting him know that he wasn't alone in this cold world. Even during my travels with Jii-san I would write him. Of course he had no way of getting back in contact with me since I was always on the move with the old man. Still I kept in touch and hoped that everything was well for him.
When I came back home I discovered he was indeed well. He had taken up my dream and turned it into reality there in the sand. I was angry that it wasn't me who had become a Kage... but pleased he had new people in his life. He deserved to be loved.
Then my world with him came crashing down as I saw my friend dead at my feet. There are no words that can describe the intense pain and loneliness I felt. It was like... I was alive on the outside while being dead inside.
As I watched Chiyo-sama work on him I felt hope well up inside of me. I needed Gaara back. I didn't understand why at the moment but I needed him more than the very air I breathe. As I watched her falter I offered up what little help I could give. While she worked her miracle all I could do was tug at the invisible string I felt connecting us. Tug and follow it to him. He couldn't remain alone where ever he was. I needed to be there with him.
I almost feel bad about the feeling of relief I had when I knew that Chiyo had died to save Gaara. She paid the price for putting him through so much hell. No child should ever have to experience what Gaara and I had; the burning eyes and looks of hatred that never went away. They might lessen over time... but they never go away. There is always someone out there that will see you as a demon rather than a human being who had no control over what had happened.
I acknowledge it now, that incident was the turning point for me and Gaara. Though I tried to hold him at arms length for his own safety and the safety of my heart I was always pulled right back. I suppose that my invisible string now worked two ways. I knew how he was and he knew how I was. I could feel a mental 'tug' every now and again as if to say 'I'm here with you.' Those tugs got me through more than anyone could ever know.
After Sakura's false confession of love, Gaara then did to me what I had done to him some years back. He tore away the blindfold I had been holding in place in regards to Sasuke. I had known that the moment was coming and had braced myself for it... but I didn't expect it to come from the red-headed Kazekage. I was expecting it to come from Kakashi, Sai, or one of my other friends... never Gaara. I fear I reacted badly to that.
Sadly the fourth Ninja war had been declared and I had no real time to contemplate everything. Then as I was accepting... defeating Kyuubi from within, I knew... I knew what he had said had been the truth. I knew who he was and what he was. He was the other half of my soul; the one who had been filling that empty void inside. The void I didn't even know I had until I thought about my life without him there filling that spot.
After everything snapped into place and I became one with Kyuubi I ran, literally ran, all the way to Suna. I had to see him... to tell him everything. I only hoped that I filled a spot somewhere inside of him; that I would be important enough to him... to... to see if I had a chance in hell of being with him always.
When I saw him I flung myself into his arms and confessed everything; my apologies for my past transgressions, my need, my desire, and my love. I begged him to accept all my feelings... to accept me and let me be part of his life. I had paid no attention to the people surrounding him. They were not important to me. Only the pale green-eyed beauty was important. His acceptance or rejection would decide my fate.
The kiss I received in answer to my question made everything inside snap into place. I knew where I belonged and with whom. This wouldn't be a fleeting moment of passion but a slow burning fire that would only get hotter and brighter as time went on.
Five years later as I lay next to the man that I love, I know I have been truly blessed in this life. I know a love and devotion that so few people will ever get to feel and know in their life time.
Gaara is my 'known' one; my special soul, the heart that resound in chords that compliment my own, my love who no one can replace, my happily ever after.
~fin~
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
There are people in our lives that strike a chord deep within. People we have never met or barely know that just fit so tightly against our souls we cannot imagine a time without them. In fact we are certain that they were always there all along. There is a connection; a feeling of 'knowing' that makes us certain that we have known them before. Our paths have crossed and our souls have touched before. Of this we are so very certain. There is no proof but the odd coincidences; the strange knowledge of what the other is thinking before they speak; the odd commonalities where no one else has ever understood us. They get us, without trying. Or they don't get us, but know that they don't need to try, because we are as we are and they accept it without question.
Who are these people? Do you know? Do you have one? You are blessed if you do. If you do not, then all I can say is perhaps you are too new. Perhaps you have not had the time to cultivate such a bond. Or perhaps, your paths have not crossed just yet, but that your precious 'known' one is out there still, waiting for the right moment to come to you. Or perhaps, your heart is too closed to see them, hear them, know them for who they are. May whatever power or deity you believe in or don't; help you open yourself to them. I have such bonds. I have been blessed with more than one. One is my Nii-san... I shudder to think of what I would have become if Iruka hadn't stepped in at just the right moment.
Another is my younger yet elder sister. An odd expression I know... but there is no other way to describe it. Hinata, younger than me by only a few months, but her eyes show her as an old soul. Someone who has seen more than any of us will ever know in our lifetime. There is so much understanding, love, and tolerance there. I've had to stop myself from calling her Obaa-chan on more than one occasion.
The other is my friend... my lover. When we first met it was... painful for me to even look at him. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I was looking at myself had Iruka not saved me from myself. The pain, anger, and longing in his eyes... it was just too much like my own without my mask in place. I felt... naked and exposed.
I always wondered if he had noticed the very things I did. I've never asked him though and I never will. I might wonder about it... but I am truly too afraid to find out the truth.
Our friendship started out like most of my friendships. That is to say that it was violent; a fight. A fight I always felt bad about. I have never wanted to strip any persons blindfold away from them... but that is exactly what I did. I have done it to so many people in the past... just fighting and waiting for someone to tear mine off to expose me to myself.
I made up for tearing the blindfold off though. I kept in touch with him always letting him know that he wasn't alone in this cold world. Even during my travels with Jii-san I would write him. Of course he had no way of getting back in contact with me since I was always on the move with the old man. Still I kept in touch and hoped that everything was well for him.
When I came back home I discovered he was indeed well. He had taken up my dream and turned it into reality there in the sand. I was angry that it wasn't me who had become a Kage... but pleased he had new people in his life. He deserved to be loved.
Then my world with him came crashing down as I saw my friend dead at my feet. There are no words that can describe the intense pain and loneliness I felt. It was like... I was alive on the outside while being dead inside.
As I watched Chiyo-sama work on him I felt hope well up inside of me. I needed Gaara back. I didn't understand why at the moment but I needed him more than the very air I breathe. As I watched her falter I offered up what little help I could give. While she worked her miracle all I could do was tug at the invisible string I felt connecting us. Tug and follow it to him. He couldn't remain alone where ever he was. I needed to be there with him.
I almost feel bad about the feeling of relief I had when I knew that Chiyo had died to save Gaara. She paid the price for putting him through so much hell. No child should ever have to experience what Gaara and I had; the burning eyes and looks of hatred that never went away. They might lessen over time... but they never go away. There is always someone out there that will see you as a demon rather than a human being who had no control over what had happened.
I acknowledge it now, that incident was the turning point for me and Gaara. Though I tried to hold him at arms length for his own safety and the safety of my heart I was always pulled right back. I suppose that my invisible string now worked two ways. I knew how he was and he knew how I was. I could feel a mental 'tug' every now and again as if to say 'I'm here with you.' Those tugs got me through more than anyone could ever know.
After Sakura's false confession of love, Gaara then did to me what I had done to him some years back. He tore away the blindfold I had been holding in place in regards to Sasuke. I had known that the moment was coming and had braced myself for it... but I didn't expect it to come from the red-headed Kazekage. I was expecting it to come from Kakashi, Sai, or one of my other friends... never Gaara. I fear I reacted badly to that.
Sadly the fourth Ninja war had been declared and I had no real time to contemplate everything. Then as I was accepting... defeating Kyuubi from within, I knew... I knew what he had said had been the truth. I knew who he was and what he was. He was the other half of my soul; the one who had been filling that empty void inside. The void I didn't even know I had until I thought about my life without him there filling that spot.
After everything snapped into place and I became one with Kyuubi I ran, literally ran, all the way to Suna. I had to see him... to tell him everything. I only hoped that I filled a spot somewhere inside of him; that I would be important enough to him... to... to see if I had a chance in hell of being with him always.
When I saw him I flung myself into his arms and confessed everything; my apologies for my past transgressions, my need, my desire, and my love. I begged him to accept all my feelings... to accept me and let me be part of his life. I had paid no attention to the people surrounding him. They were not important to me. Only the pale green-eyed beauty was important. His acceptance or rejection would decide my fate.
The kiss I received in answer to my question made everything inside snap into place. I knew where I belonged and with whom. This wouldn't be a fleeting moment of passion but a slow burning fire that would only get hotter and brighter as time went on.
Five years later as I lay next to the man that I love, I know I have been truly blessed in this life. I know a love and devotion that so few people will ever get to feel and know in their life time.
Gaara is my 'known' one; my special soul, the heart that resound in chords that compliment my own, my love who no one can replace, my happily ever after.
~fin~