Bye Bye Beautiful

Author's Note: This story is inspired by anti-gay camps, which I'm against. Though remember that this is fiction and isn't going to be one hundred percent accurate mostly due to me never having experienced going to one. This story is very close and dear to me and was originally going to be an original fiction with my own characters and so forth, and I'm a little sad that I won't be doing that – or maybe I'll do a fan fiction and an original version, I'm not sure. Anyway, I really hope you guys enjoy this and maybe I'll be able to bring some emotion out of you. Anyway, my other main inspiration for this that is also motivating me is Nightwish – my favorite band, and as you can see it is also named after a Nightwish song. I seriously fucking love this band. XD

1.

"I don't know if I want to do this now. My father will be home soon," said a boy at the age of sixteen. He had ebony hair, the front framing his face while stacked and spiked in the back, with ivory skin and wearing a Catholic school uniform. He was sitting on his living room sofa with a boy he met at school, who was probably the only other gay boy in the school. The school and church he went to was highly homophobic and his father, he knew, would be screaming bloody murder if he saw him now.

"Come on Uchiha, you said you wanted to try," said the boy, lifting a hand to brush the ebony bangs from Sasuke's face. "Don't go turning back into a bastard yet."

Sasuke bit his lower lip, glancing over at the clock. His parents would be home any minute now. He then looked over at the boy he invited home. He was very handsome. He wanted to run his fingers through his wavy bronze hair and kiss those full lips, to know what they tasted like. But the time he was hesitant to do what he wanted. It would be a very bad thing if his father walked in on him being physically intimate with another boy, his mother wouldn't be of much help either.

He knew nothing about the boy he invited home, other than his sexuality. He was more interested in exploring his sexuality and sating his teenage hormones than in the boy as a person. But the feelings were mutual. Going to a Catholic school, the two boys didn't have any other options. Besides, the boy was attractive, with his green eyes, bronze hair and fit body. Sasuke found himself attracted to strong men and this one definitely looked the part.

It was impossible to resist the urge to feel those hard muscles. Soon Sasuke found his hands pressing against a hard chest and going down to his torso. It was hard and he could feel the muscles, but it was unsatisfying due to the clothes being in the way.

Taking the exploring hands as a go ahead, the boy leaned forward and pressed his lips against Sasuke's jaw. The dark haired boy didn't even realize his breathing had become hitched as he took in the smell of the other's cologne.

When the other boy began trailing hot kisses down his neck he closed his eyes and tilted his head. Wonderfully strong hands grabbed his hips and dragged him forward on the sofa. Once he was close enough, those hands grabbed his legs and put them over his own so he was partly on his lap.

Sasuke couldn't stop the little moan that slipped past his lips as a hand ran up his inner thigh. His mind was screaming at him to stop this. His father could come home at any minute. But it felt so sinfully good. But did he really want his first time with a man to be on his sofa with the fear of his father trying to outweigh his arousal? His heart and mind screamed no, but his body screamed yes.

Panting, inexperienced and curious, he opened his eyes and his vision was a little blurry for a second. When it cleared however, his foggy mind cleared with it. His eyes widened as he saw his father standing in the doorway with disgust evident in his furious eyes.

Fear gripped his heart mercilessly, squeezing the breath out of him, choking him. It was a foreign feeling. His father was normally a kind man. He had never struck him or screamed at him. He punished him by taking away privileges and scolded him. But now he looked like a completely different person. A person he should be afraid of.

He shoved at the boy's shoulders, feeling his strength being drained out of him by those cold eyes.

But the boy took it as a sign of impatience and was moving to cup his groin.

That caused his father to spring into action.

"Get off of my son, you demon!"

The boy jumped off of the sofa with a start and whirled around to face an angry father. And minister.

"Shit! Fuck!" The cowardly boy grabbed his jacket and ran out the door. The father didn't even try to stop him. He was staring his son down as he shrank back into the sofa.

It was silent for a long while and Sasuke was able to calm his frantic heart as best he could as he waited for his father to cool down. At least his father didn't want to get violent with him. He had heard such horrible horror stories of kids who had gotten beaten by their parents when coming out or being caught in a position similar to his.

Finally his father spoke.

"Why? How could you do this to me?"

It both hurt and confused Sasuke. He wasn't trying to do anything to his father, just himself. He wanted to say that, to speak out, but he had always bottled things up inside. He had fancied men for as long as he could remember. He had a lot of practice hiding it. A part of him was tired of hiding it, yet too ashamed and afraid to stop. It wasn't like Sasuke to be passive, it wasn't like him to cower or run away, but he had always had such a strong desire to please his father and family that he didn't know how to change that.

And in this case, he wasn't just afraid of his father's disapproval and disappointment, but also his hate.

It made every rebellious thought, every strong will to fight, shrink back as his heart twisted.

His mother walked through the door with a surprised expression.

"What's going on? I just saw a boy from Sasuke's school run as if the devil himself were chasing him."

At that his father, Fugaku, snorted.

"In a way, you may be right." He turned to his wife. "Do you know what I just walked in on your son doing?"

Sasuke's shoulders hunched. He hated it when his father addressed him like that. It was as if he didn't want to be his father anymore, and the fear of being disowned enveloped his heart. He didn't want his family to disown him, to pass by him in the streets and act as if they had never known each other.

Putting her purse down on the table by a vase of flowers his mother frowned.

"What did he do? It can't have been that bad."

"He – with that boy – he was with him. Lord knows what we would have walked in on if we had been just a few minutes later!"

Gasping, his mother looked at him with shock and fear. What she had to be afraid about, Sasuke didn't know. She probably feared for his soul. He knew that he too should fear for his soul, but he was too preoccupied fearing his family. That and he wasn't sure if he believed in God any longer. At times he did, and during those times he wondered what would happen to him after death, but other times he couldn't see there being such a cruel God as to hate him for being the way he was made.

"Sasuke," his mother said softly, moving to sit next to him on the couch and placing her hand on top of his. At least she wasn't afraid to touch his skin as if it would burn her. "Honey, why would you do that? You know that's wrong, don't you?"

A bubble of words got caught in his throat and choked him. His mother's reaction was almost worse than his father's.

"It's obvious why he did it! That little boy tricked him into doing it! He played with his head and didn't stop until Sasuke was infected with his disease too."

Beneath his mother's hand, Sasuke's own hand clenched tightly, his nails leaving imprints in his skin.

"Oh Sasuke, honey you're just confused, that's all."

No. No he wasn't.

Was he?

He didn't think he was anymore. He had felt like this for as young as he could remember. Wasn't he past being confused? It wasn't as if this were some new phase he was going through. He had always liked men. Women were okay, but he just didn't want them in that way. He had tried, he had tried to force himself, to force his body, to be attracted to the opposite sex but it just didn't work out that way. The other boys in the school always went on about how awesome breasts were but he liked flat, hard chests. They talked about how nice girls' hips and posteriors were but he liked narrow hips, strong, muscled legs, and was more interested in a man's front package than the back.

How could he change that? He had already tried and failed, and he hated failure, so why bother putting himself through it when it was futile? Why shouldn't he just accept it as a part of himself and find someone who made him happy? Didn't he deserve to find love just like everyone else? Why did everyone expect him to be miserable in a loveless relationship with a woman who he just couldn't love in that way or even be attracted to?

Why was it that his own parents cared nothing for his happiness? Weren't they supposed to support and love him no matter what? For God's sake, he kissed a boy, he didn't murder him.

"Well, I know a perfect place to rid him of his confusion," Fugaku stated, his eyes still narrowed and angry. "I'm sending you to Path to Heaven."

Sasuke's eyes widened. He knew what that place was. It was where religious, homophobic parents sent their kids there. They stayed there for as long as was necessary – or until they were eighteen anyway. They even schooled them there, but they also cut them off from any outside contact. That was as much as he knew, what horrors went on inside he had no idea, but it couldn't be anything pleasant.

"No," he finally spoke up, "I don't want to go there!"

But it mattered not, Fugaku's eyes were hard and his voice stern.

"You obviously don't know what you want or what's best for you. You will go, whether you want to or not."

"It's okay Sasuke, you may not understand now but you will later. You're very sick and this place can help you. Then when you're cured you'll see what we've done for you and thank us."

"I don't have a disease!" Sasuke shouted, standing up from the couch with fury and fear evident in his eyes. But he could tell that the decision had been made, whether he liked it or not, he would go. And it was made even clearer when Fugaku left the room to make the arrangements and his mother attempted to convince him of his illness and how they were just trying to help him.

Suddenly he felt like he was drowning, that his parents wouldn't be happy until he died trying to please them, suffocating under the weight of their expectations.

And yet, a part of him still wanted to try.

~*~

Everything was packed and put in the back of the black SUV. Sasuke sat in the back, staring outside of the open window, watching the trees zip past him in a blur. His eyes were blank as his mind worked. If becoming straight was really the only way to gain his parents acceptance and make them proud then he would try. Even if it was futile, even if he already knew it was, somewhere deep down, he would still try. For them.

But that didn't make him any less angry about it.

He couldn't believe they were sending him away to live somewhere else. He couldn't believe that they honestly believed he was sick when it was already proven that homosexuality wasn't a mental illness – he knew, after he had been called sick for it he looked it up. But none of that mattered to his parents. All that mattered to them was that he wasn't as perfect as his brother – his older, genius, heterosexual brother.

Idly, he wondered if Itachi would have accepted him.

A new pain gripped at him when doubt followed the question.

They drove up on a dirt path and soon Sasuke found himself facing a large white home, two stories high with a long porch that seemed to go around the entire place. The place looked clean, with freshly cut grass and surrounded by a forest. He wondered where the others were, but figured they were inside. It was already pretty late, the sun setting in the distance. As he got out of the car he saw the sign that had Path to Heaven on it and scowled at it.

"Stop that," Fugaku ordered when seeing his expression. And just like that, Sasuke's face smoothed perfectly as he put on his mask.

"Good evening sir," one of the men dressed in black greeted him. He knew they were just dressed in church attire but it just made him feel like he was at a funeral. It could be due to the dreary atmosphere of being dumped off in an unknown area with strangers.

"Is this Sasuke?" one of the men asked.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, as if asking, "Do you see anyone else?"

"Yes," Fugaku answered for him.

"It's a pleasure to meet you son," the man in black said, reaching out to take his hand. The man looked to be in his late thirties, not very old but not young either. The grays had yet to take over his entire scalp yet, so there was a mix of gray and brown in his hair and he had no facial hair. He wasn't fat or skinny, and had a kind smile on his face, his chocolate eyes welcoming.

Reaching forward, he took the hand offered to him and shook it. "Hn."

"We'll take good care of your boy, no need to worry," said an older gentleman, with his white hair and plump belly and eyes closed with a smile stretched on his wrinkled face.

"Please do," his mother said, then walked up to Sasuke to give him a kiss on the cheek, freezing when he pulled away. Hesitating, she cupped his face in his hands as if he were something dear and kissed him on the cheek. "We'll be looking forward to having you home when all of this is over. Don't worry sweetie, this place will make you better and then we can be a family again," she said softly and then turned around to get back in the car.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Sasuke watched his parents leave him there. His mind begged them to come back, to not leave him there with these people, but with every plea the car got smaller and smaller until he could no longer see them.

"Alright Sasuke, come with us," one of the men said, he didn't know which, his eyes focused on the dirt road. When he felt one of them tug on his arm he tore his eyes away and grabbed his bags, silently following them inside.

He saw a few people inside, there were pictures of Jesus everywhere and crosses hung up – it almost looked like home, except for the size of it was much larger. They went inside of an office and there was a cardboard box on the desk.

"Please relinquish your cell phone, game boy, PSP, iPod, laptop and any other portable devices you may have on you – as well as any magazines, books and disks."

"In other words everything but my clothes," Sasuke grumbled, opening his bag and grabbing his iPod from his pocket, parting with it reluctantly.

"Which we will take a look through later to make sure it's appropriate," the old man smiled.

Sasuke could barely believe this. He was practically being thrown in jail for being attracted to men. He was starting to wonder if being gay was even worth it. Maybe he should rid himself of that part of him, it certainly caused him more trouble than it was worth. After all, it wasn't as if he had fallen in love yet, there was still time to change, and what better time than the present? He should get himself out of it before he fell in love only to get hurt.

"Now, there will be no watching TV unsupervised, internet access will be used only for your homework, we have prayer every night before bedtime and there will be no wandering about after light's out."

"What if I have to use the bathroom?" Sasuke asked, wondering if he'd seriously get in trouble for that.

"We let you go before you go to bed and when you get up, there is no wandering around while everyone's sleeping because we can't watch you then. Last year we had a boy sneak into another boy's room and," the old man stopped there, finding it too disgusting to continue.

"Anyway, let's show you to your room. The left side of the upstairs is the boys' side and the right is the girls," the man explained after they left the room and headed towards the stairs. "You'll be rooming with a boy."

Sasuke was about to ask if that was wise, but when he got into the hall he understood.

There were no doors.

This way they could interact with their fellow males while being watched, making sure they weren't doing anything sexual or what was considered homosexual. It was perfect practice, leaving them alone with each other in a room and having them learn how to deal with the sexual attraction – if there was any, despite what people thought Sasuke actually did have a type. He wasn't sure if there were actually gays out there who would honestly do anyone of the same gender with no standards but Sasuke wasn't like that. And he secretly hoped the was roomed with an obvious bottomer with limbs like a girl and shorter than him.

Of course he wasn't that lucky.

"This is your room, and this is your roommate, Uzumaki Naruto."

Sasuke froze at the doorway, his eyes widening as they landed on what he thought a bronzed God would look like. His roommate, Naruto – he wondered how well that name would roll off his tongue – had tan skin seemingly everywhere. His hair was blond and spiked out in just about every direction, his eyes reminded him of the ocean, endless blue with many shades, and his body. He was strong. He could tell through his t-shirt and jeans. He wasn't overly muscular where it looked like he himself should be wearing a bra, but he could definitely hold his own in a fight – not that Sasuke couldn't, but that wasn't the issue.

The issue was that he was rooming with a man who was a wet dream come to life and he was forbidden to touch him in any way.

His roommate grinned widely, his own blue eyes seeming to appraise him, making Sasuke fight down a blush. In an attempt to regain his composure he glared at the man, all the while wondering if he was naturally tan and blond.

Those blue eyes took on a mischievous tint. "It's nice to meet you Sasuke."

Said boy shuddered.

He had a feeling becoming straight was going to be a lot harder than it should be.