Don't Let Me Down

Note: So sorry to those who didn't know the song! I completely forgot to put in the artist and song title, I was going to but for some reason it completely slipped my mind! Again I apologize. 

Song: Ghost Man on Third

Artist: Taking Back Sunday

 

Lyrics



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Jinx me something crazy, 

Thinking' if it's three then

I'm as smooth as the skin 

Rolls across the small of your back.



Dark blue curtains gently rustled with the breeze flowing through the open window. It was early morning, the sun not yet peaking over the many skyscrapers of the city, still in its watery bed. 



A young man lay in bed, and shivered noticeably as the breeze hit his bare shoulders. He really did hate the cold. The weather was a peculiar thing indeed; warm one minute, cold the next, then back to warm once more. 



Naruto Uzumaki pulled the blankets over his half clad form as he shivered a second time. He let his eyes slide open slowly. The azure orbs appearing heavy with sleep. Looking over, he found the bed he usually shared with his lover, Sasuke Uchiha, was empty yet again.



Sighing in resignation of his boyfriend’s disappearance, the blonde sat up, his hair mused more than usual due to his constant movements while he slept. He smiled as he thought of how much Sasuke hated his constant movements at night and often got an elbow in his side for the trouble. 



It's too bad it's not my

Style if you need me. 

I'm out and on the parkway, 

Patient and waiting for headlights, 

Dressed in a fashion that's fitting to the 

Inconsistencies of my moods. 



Naruto grabbed a thick sweatshirt and a winter coat before he made his way to the balcony that connected the bedroom to the frigid winds of New York. It was at that point in Winter where the snow had ceased to fall but the bone chilling cold still remained. The blonde hated that particular time of year. Snow, he could handle. Snow was fun at least. There was nothing fun about icy winds. 



Opening the door, the young man wasn’t surprised to find the object of his search. His pale lover looked that much paler in the dim light of dawn, his black coat in high contrast with his skin. 



It was funny; Naruto always thought the two of them were a pretty high contrast of each other. Sasuke’s pale skin versus Naruto’s caramel tan, The raven’s jet black hair in contrast to his lover’s sunny blonde locks, and finally, the eyes. Naruto had to say those were the most striking. While the blonde had vivid blue eyes that held every emotion in them, broadcasting everything for the world to see, Sasuke’s eyes were dark and guarded, so many secrets still hidden within their depths. Even though the pale man’s eyes seemed so endless, they spoke of mystery and something a bit darker, something that attracted Naruto to the man at first glance when they had met in college two years ago. 



Stepping out into the freezing morning, Naruto sat beside the other on a nice patio chair. The balcony was fairly large and could fit quite a bit on it. Naruto was lucky to have found the place at such a fair price. Although they both shared the rent, the blonde had been the one to ask Sasuke to move in with him after a year of dating. To say it was the best thing he had ever done in his life was an understatement. No matter how distant Sasuke seemed, Naruto knew that the man cared for him, the raven showing it in his own ways. 



He was silent for a few moments just watching Sasuke watch the city. Even though it was barely sunrise, there were many people already up and about. Most just heading off to work in the offices not too far from their apartment. 



Naruto noticed the tenseness in Sasuke immediately, making the blonde’s worry flare up. His lover was still a complete mystery to him. The man got into these… moments, where he would just sit and stare at the city, not saying a word, even when engaged in conversation. Naruto knew from experience that if he spoke now, he wouldn’t get any acknowledgment or answers to his questions. Sasuke wouldn’t speak to him until the time passed and he went back inside. 



A tan hand gently took the pale one, Naruto noticing how large his hand was compared to Sasuke’s. The raven was tiny compared to him. As he expected the hand was like an icicle and the blonde let out a sigh of frustration. 



“You should have put on some gloves…” Nothing. Not that he expected anything. 



Sasuke said nothing, just nodded once as if to let Naruto know that he was heard. 



It's times like these where silence means everything 

And no one is to know about this. 



It wasn’t unusual for Naruto to sit outside with Sasuke while the man did… whatever he did out there The blonde had his suspicions but he didn’t want to say anything. Sasuke would tell him when he was ready; hopefully. 



A few more minutes passed in silence, Naruto doing his best to warm up Sasuke’s hands while the raven contemplated. 



Dark eyes glanced over to a tan face, the features of the man he loved plain in his sight but he couldn’t find the words to speak. Sometimes he wished he was able to express his feelings as easily as the blonde man. Naruto had no problem expressing his love. More often than not, Sasuke envied his lover for being so carefree and rarely letting anything bother him. 



He battled with his feelings constantly. Not just about Naruto, but about everything. His life, his family… especially the latter Living under his brother’s success was not something he envisioned happening as an adult. Sure it was expected when he was younger; he hadn’t had the proper skills to rise above his prodigy of a sibling. But once Itachi had climbed that corporate ladder and took over their father’s business, Sasuke was but a miniscule speck to both men, his father and brother. Even after successfully graduating college a year ago with a Master’s in business and creating a successful rival company that was slowly but surely outdoing his father’s, now brother’s, company, he was still far from acknowledged as a success. Although Naruto made up for that in every way… it just wasn’t the same as family support. 



It's a campaign of distraction 

Revisionist history

It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice. 

It's a shame I doubt they even care.

No one is to know about this. 

Don't let me down. 



“Naruto…?” 



Blue eyes looked over in question. 



“Do you ever… hate people?”



The blonde raised an eyebrow, his confusion clear on his face. “I don’t know. I guess no one really deserves to be hated unless… they did something horrible to you.” 



Gripping the pale hand in his a bit tighter Naruto leaned closer. “Why; do you hate someone?”



Sasuke slowly nodded, still not looking at the man next to him. “I hate a lot of people. Some more than others. Sometimes I think about what it would be like if they were gone…” his voice drifted off in thought. 



“Sasuke… I…”



“Do you know what stops me?” the smooth voice rang out suddenly once more. 



Naruto shook his head ‘no’. Stop him from what? Committing murder? That couldn’t be it; Sasuke would never actually hurt anyone… 



“If I was ever caught, I’d be leaving you alone. You’re the one that keeps these urges down. Being with you… keeps me sane.”



A small intake of breath was the only answer, not really a gasp but close enough to one. So it was what he thought. Naruto felt his chest tightening; the thought of Sasuke actually wanting to kill someone... He had a good idea of who would go first.



Despite the fact that Naruto knew otherwise, he still voiced the question that popped into his head. “Am I just a distraction then?”



“Don’t be stupid.” Sasuke glared a bit, just a touch of anger showing in his eyes. Naruto always seemed to doubt the raven’s feelings. Sasuke figured it was within reason, he wasn’t exactly affectionate. The truth was though, he loved the man and in a way, Naruto was a distraction… Not that it was a bad thing. If Naruto was just a good lay then he would have been gone long ago. The fact that he stayed around for two years should tell the blonde something about how he felt. 



But whatever I have [been] 

Getting' myself into 

Lately has been slicing 

Inches from my waist. 

It's my face vs. the bottle 

And that's how bad could this hurt 

Against I won't feel a thing 

I tell you all about [it].

It's just not working out



Naruto looked away at those words, guilt clawing at his stomach. Why did he have to do that? He knew Sasuke loved him. 



“Am I the only thing that’s stopping you?” He had no idea that Sasuke had these types of urges. It was a bit overwhelming to find out something so dark about his lover’s personality. It almost frightened him. 



Sasuke shook his head slightly. His skin almost glowing as the sun finally peaked over the building’s rooftops, hitting the man directly, almost making him look ethereal. 



Apparently that’s all he would let slip of the matter. Sliding his hand out of the larger one, Sasuke stood gracefully and made his way inside, closing the door behind him. 



Naruto sat there for a moment, not bothering to stand himself. He hated how Sasuke seemed to run away from everything. More often than not the blonde was just trying to be the one constant thing in Sasuke’s life. He knew about the raven’s struggle with his family and tried his best to help the man through it but sometimes, he just felt like he was doing nothing to help. 



This is why we were taught so much better than this.



It was a few more minutes before Naruto stood and headed inside as well. He felt a bit numb, like someone had drained everything from him. Somehow he was even more exhausted than when he had first woken up. 



He spotted Sasuke on their bed, first aid kit out with bandages strewn around him. Naruto sighed deeply. He knew what it was but he denied that it happened so much… It made sense though. Sasuke hurting himself rather than those he really wanted to hurt. 



The taller man sat down heavily on the edge of the bed and quickly sanitized his hands before gently taking Sasuke’s arm and assessing the damage. 



“It seems like every time I see one on you they get deeper…” The clean thin cut ran along Sasuke’s inner bicep, the blood running in tiny rivulets down the white arm. He felt so stupid for staying outside. He knew Sasuke’s intentions, it happened whenever the raven got like this. 



“It’s fine… Don’t worry about it.” Sasuke pulled his arm out of the large hand and picked up a washcloth that was soaking in rubbing alcohol, pressing it to his arm to stop the bleeding and to add just a little more of that pain. 



Feeling that tightness in his chest once more, Naruto sat himself further onto the bed, finding a spot behind his lover and wrapping his arms around the slim waist, had he been losing weight? Naruto knew not to ask, it would only agitate the smaller man even more. 



Sasuke allowed the arms to encircle him. It was a comfort after all, something he loved but would never admit out loud. Naruto’s touch kept him grounded, kept him relaxed… 



He cleaned up his arm and bandaged it, feeling the arms tighten a bit around him and lips occasionally press against his cheek and neck in affection. He welcome everything together; the pain of his inner turmoil and outer self inflictions, and Naruto’s affection. It was another heavy contrast that he was more than used to. Perhaps someday he would get over his petty hatred. He knew it was petty, and he also knew that his self injury was merely a cry for attention from those who wouldn’t give it to him. Those that would not know of his pain or care for that matter. There was only Naruto. And in the end, that’s all that should really matter. 





This is what living like this does.



~End



Note: Commments are welcome! Hope you enjoyed!