Talk to me

A.N.  Reposted from FF. My third story. It was multi chaptered there and a once piece here, again due to me not having nerves to separate it again, for which I apologize. I hope you enjoy it. If so – keep an eye – this story has a few sequels planned ;)

Prologue

Iruka POV:

So… this is a love story. Yeah, I know, I know, but just give it a try. You may learn something important for yourselves…

It isn’t what you’d call a standard love story either. First of all I am a man and I love another man. Aaaand things get even better – we are both ninja-s, so there’s never been “honey”-s, “darling”-s or too much pink. Actually I don’t like pink and he just hates it. Uh, I got carried away again and I don’t have much time, considering I left him alone with….

Anyway. These few lines in the beginning are just to make you aware of what is to be written from now on. And it’s needed, serving as a warning – I said it was a love story, not that it was easy, alright?

We had a… well, you may call it a rocky beginning. At first there was more pain than love. Yeah, love, real love, came later. The path leading there was dark, very dark, and difficult to pass. Sometimes it was endurance. Sometimes it was pure survival. It hurts us both to remember that, so later it will sound like another one has written it, but in order to warn you I’ll say it – yes there was even blood sometimes. It hurt. It was cold. There were tears and darkness and then more tears. It wasn’t easy, but we made it.

And I know he’s gonna read it later and it will hurt him as well to remember, so here I am going to say what’s the more important thing he should know – Kakashi, I am happy now. Thanks to you. So, thank you, my love.

But before love came for us there was a lot to experience. There was a lot to feel and a lot more to say. This story is about the importance of talking, of two people sharing their thoughts and feelings. Because, if  you want it to work, that’s the only way – talk. I hope this story makes you stop and think for a second…

Hatake Iruka

*

Kakashi POV:

Ok, so… He wants me to write something here, like a prologue or something. To a story I haven’t seen!!! (He shows me nothing of the script!!!!) But, I guess it’s ok though, since I may not have read what he’s written, but I have lived it. Since it’s our story.

Kami… I wish I could change the beginning. I wish I could write it differently. I wish I knew then what  I know now.

But I know why he’s doing this, writing our story. I hope it helps. Others, like us.

Our story began before our real relationship. It began wrong. It began with pain and misunderstanding. The way things between two people who love each other should never begin. It wasn’t until we actually started to talk that our relationship finally went the way  it’s supposed to. And it wasn’t without the help of friends, who opened (though a bit harshly) our… (FINE! MY eyes, ok? !) my eyes. So, yeah, thank you, Izumo and Kotetsu. (I think I should say it, as sappy as it sounds).

My point is that, with all I said just now – talking and supportive friends, we made it. We aren’t just bed partners now, we’re family. Thank Kami sama, we’re real family.

But most of all, more than my appreciation to our friends, I am grateful for the one who managed, who endured, who stayed… My only one. My Ruka. Thank you.

And I guess he’ll say it, but I’m saying it too – read this story. You may find it interesting. It may help you the way no story like that helped us. Read it. And think about it…

Hatake Kakashi

*

Chapter 1 - Breakdown

Iruka awoke with a jolt, but without a sound – he just opened his eyes, his breath coming out sharply. He just lay in his bed, looking at the ceiling. He didn’t feel the need to look beside him, to even feel the empty sheets with his hands… He knew he was alone. He always was alone in the morning. But right now the silence was killing him…

“Play”, he said hoarsely. Nothing happened. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Play!”

He knew he made it this time – a soft clicking sound could be head, the audio system picking the last played song. He had paid a lot for that. Partially because he was a music maniac, but other than that… he felt, and a lot more recently, the need to talk to something, other than his pre-genins, that actually reacts to his voice, almost like his voice mattered.  The song, one of his favorites, filled the room with a crystal sound.

“I woke up in a dream today

To the cold of the static, and put my cold feet on the floor

Forgot all about yesterday

Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore…”

Iruka stood from his bed, ironically experiencing quite what the song said – his bare feet touching the cold wooden floor. Or was that his feet were cold, again? If only he could forget about yesterday… If only he could stop pretending…

He went to the kitchen to make some much needed coffee. His body was sore. He could almost feel him, almost like he was still moving inside him. He hated it in the morning. He hated himself. He hated the pain… He needed…. He needed…

“A little taste of hypocrisy

And I'm left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react

Even though you're so close to me

You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back…”

“Damn it…”

Why was that song… so true?! Why was… Why was he continuing his acting? Why was he doing that to himself?

He knew it would be like that, from the beginning he knew. Lay down. Open your legs. Spread them wider. Do as I say. Now scream like the whore you are…

No feelings. Nothing. His body was only a tool for him.

But it wasn’t like that for Iruka. It has never been…

He woke up again, this time from his stupor, and realized a few things at the same time – his coffee was boiling, making a mess; he was bent over the sink, a knife in his hand, holding it over the other wrist; he was silently crying.

He dropped the knife in the sink, then moved shakily. He reached the phone. Hands still shaking, he dialed the first number he remembered. He got a reply soon.

“Ko...Kotetsu?”, his voice cracked. “I… need help.”

“It's true

The way I feel

Was promised by your face

The sound of your voice

Painted on my memories

Even if you're not with me

I'm with you…”

 Song: With you by Linkin Park

Chapter 2 – Taken away

Kakashi stepped in Iruka’s apartment, uninvited – he had keys. It was eerily quiet and dark. And the air around was kind of tensed itself. Kakashi could feel something was wrong. Something more than Iruka’s moods, that happened from time to time – when his face went blank and he didn’t even look him in the eyes - usually doing just that, like searching for something more in Kakashi – but not in these moments. In these moments Iruka would just lay down obediently, face pointedly down in the pillow, his back to Kakashi, ass up. He would spread his legs, not invitingly, but in a “Do as you wish” way. In these times Kakashi was confused with himself. He didn’t like it, Iruka’s absent demeanor. But wasn’t it Kakashi who said it was just sex and nothing more? Then why was he unhappy when Iruka was spreading his legs for him, asking nothing, searching for nothing in his eyes? Why did he feel so… hollow?

He stepped in the living room, about to call his sex partner’s name, and then he saw something that made him stop any movement.

In the middle of the dark room there was a chair, a figure sitting on it, crouched over it, hands on the back of the chair, smoking. The figure had spiky hair, the moon slightly lighting the man’s chunin uniform.

Kotetsu.

“Where’s Iruka?”, Kakashi asked quietly, more like demanded.

“He’s breaking.”, was the simple answer. It was then when Kakashi heard a muffled sob from behind the closed door of the bathroom. He made a step in that direction. The chair was suddenly empty, a full armed Kotetsu standing before him. The man looked furious. “Maybe I wasn’t clear enough”, he growled. “YOU broke him!”

Kakashi froze for a minute.

“Do you really think you can stop me, chunin?”, he growled menacingly and arrogantly.

“No.”, Kotetsu admitted, not moving an inch. “But I can slow you down, just enough for Izumo there – he nodded towards the bathroom door - to teleport them both away from you.”

So, a smart chunin he was, Kakashi decided. Still, he narrowed his eyes. “I can kill you before you’ve made a sound.”, he stated the fact.

Kotetsu nodded. “I know that.”

“So why?”, Kakashi asked, curious now.

“Iruka’s not just a friend. He’s family. Kill me if you have to. But you won’t lay a finger on him anymore… you sick bastard!”

So, he knew, Kakashi mentally cringed. He didn’t give a damn about what Kotetsu thought of him. But Iruka had told them, had told Kotetsu and Izumo, what had  happened last night. He had confessed to someone. That meant it really had been a nightmare – Iruka never bothered others with his problems, not even his best friends. So… that bad. Something in Kakashi felt uneasy. Something… but he didn’t care about Iruka. Right? Sure he was a comrade, that’s why Kakashi had come to apologize, but nothing more. Right? Right…

So why the hell was his chest aching, while Kakashi listened to the muffled sobs?

“Move.”, he gave Kotetsu a last warning.

“No”, the man answered, visibly bracing himself for the fight.

So be it!

Kakashi moved forward. Kotetsu wasn’t even sure what happened, he only had to slow him enough to scream “Zumo, RUN!”.

Pain. Kotetsu could feel it. Broken ribs. A concussion may be. Twisted arm or dislocated shoulder? Something with his leg too, since he couldn’t step on it. But he was alive. Was Kakashi going easy on him?

Kakashi was now in the empty bathroom, puffs of smoke still lingering after Iruka and Izumo’s departure. He looked back – Kotetsu had only stayed long enough to make sure his friends got away. With a frown of pain, he made the seals for teleportation and was gone before Kakashi decided to drop “easy” and finish him off.

 

Chapter 3 – The truth shouted out

Two days. He laid in Izumo’s bed for two days, not moving. He missed his audio system, but he knew he couldn’t go home. He cringed from the thought.

On the third day he stood up and walked into the kitchen. He was living with his two friends, taking their space. At least he could cook for them, making himself useful.

“Oh, no, no, Ruka…”, Izumo tried to pull the knife from his hands. “You’re a guest now, and what a terrible host I’d be if I let you…”

“I wasn’t gonna use it on me, Zumo.”, Iruka quietly pointed out. Izumo sighed and smiled sadly.

“Just … Do that for me please? Put the knife down.”

Iruka sighed, but did what he was told – he was good at being obedient already.

“So what now, Zumo? Gonna lock me up in a room with no sharp objects, nothing to hang myself with; hide the drugs? … I called. I called before I’d done something stupid…”

“I know, I know, Ruka…” Izumo pulled him in a tight embrace. “Just… you mean a lot to me, ok? You’re family, Iruka. I’m not  loosing you because of some idiot…”

“Don’t…”, Iruka whispered weakly “Please don’t…”

“…I’m sorry.”

They stayed like that for a while, then Kotetsu called them for diner. They sat around the table, eating silently, until Iruka decided to stand up to leave his dish in the sink. Well, he stood too fast…

He flinched from pain and swayed to the left, two pairs of strong hands holding him steady.

“Ruka, are you ok, buddy? Can-can you move now?”, Kotetsu asked.

“Yeah…”, Iruka answered weakly, his cheeks pink and eyes watering with embarrassment.

“Of all the men you could have crushed on, Ruka…Of all the men, that would have treated you the way you de…”, Kotetsu started.

“I didn’t plan it, alright!”, Iruka said quietly, voice suddenly sounding angry.

“What?”, Kotetsu frowned.

“I DIDN’T PLAN TO FALL IN FUCKIN’ LOVE WITH HATAKE FUCKIN’ KAKASHI, DAMN IT!!!!!”, Iruka screamed, tears finally falling down his cheeks. Izumo and Kotetsu stood dumbfounded. “WHAT!?! You think I wanted this? You think that’s the way, I wanted it to be, selling my body cheap, so my soul could get something I can lie it was love? But that’s life, Kotetsu! You don’t get the man of your dreams! And when Prince Charming tells you to open wider, you fuckin’ open wider, cause that’s all you’ll fuckin’ get from him!!!”, Iruka shrieked, then lowered his head and continued quietly, with a heartbreaking voice. “There’s no cuddling and no love declarations – you learn to take it hard and sometimes, if you’re lucky, you even manage to get some pleasure. You know how cheap you are, giving yourself for nothing, screaming like a slut, obeying like a dog… You learn to never ask for anything, cause you know he doesn’t even hear you. You’re just a tool. Piece of meat. Sometimes it hurts less. Sometimes you have to bite back your screams of pain, cause he only likes it when you scream from pleasure or at least make it sound like that…”, Iruka was crying openly now and Kotetsu made an attempt to approach him, but Izumo held his hand and shook his head. Iruka hadn’t finished. “And you learn never to expect someone to be next to you in the morning. If you hadn’t passed out, you watch him leave right after the sex is over. If you’re lucky enough you black out so you wouldn’t have to see that. After some time you’re so good at that that you make it look like falling into a satisfied slumber… so he doesn’t need to feel bad with himself. Then you woke up in the morning, alone, sore, feeling like the cheapest whore. Like… you’re nothing…”

“Ruka, no!”, Kotetsu couldn’t take it anymore, tears streaming down his own cheeks. He lunged forward and embraced his long time friend, repeating soothingly: “It’s ok now, you’re safe. You’re safe…”

But over his shoulder Iruka and Izumo exchanged a look. They knew. It wasn’t about being safe. It was all about not feeling so damn hollow and empty…

 

Chapter 4 – Back to life

Iruka was sitting, back to the wall, on Izumo and Kotetsu’s balcony, smoking. He hadn’t smoked since he was 17. Now it felt like he hadn’t stopped.

His face was still tearstained, but he didn’t have the strength left to care, to give a damn. About anything…

He had woken up 10 minutes ago from his nightmare. A nightmare he had experienced only a week ago…

Flashback

Iruka screamed, this time not even trying to hide his pain and mask it as a pleasure sound. He was cracking. It was finally too much.

“K-Kakashi… s-stop!”, he tried weakly.

No reaction. If anything, Kakashi continued pounding into him even harder. Something tore in Iruka, something more than his own flesh.

“K… Stop-STOP IT! STOP!”, he screamed this time. He thought he felt Kakashi slowing down. Iruka turned his head around, trying to look Kakashi in the eye. “Kakashi… I’m bleeding.”, he said quietly, voice cracking. He felt the tears again and felt even worse, looking even weaker in his tormentor’s eyes. “Please… no more.”, he begged. For a brief moment their eyes locked and Iruka thought he saw some kind of desperation in Kakashi’s grey eye. If it really was there, it was soon gone, replaced with irritation and then simple boredom. He pulled out, causing Iruka even more pain. Iruka whimpered, biting back a cry. Again, he thought he saw a flicker of concern in Kakashi’s eyes, but immediately slapped himself mentally – hope should have long ago died for Iruka. Kakashi had no feelings for him, not romantic, not friendly, not whatever. He saw his own blood on Kakashi’s still hard shaft and felt bad for the fact that he couldn’t endure it till Kakashi had finished. Actually Iruka was more concerned about that than his own state. That’s when he realized how fucked up he actually was…

End Flashback

Iruka couldn’t remember Kakashi leaving – he must have blacked out. He remembered the next morning. Alone again. His feet on the cold floor. The song. The knife. Izumo’s arms when he and Kotetsu had come after he managed to call them – he had literally fallen in Izumo’s arms, finally breaking… Finally…

“Hey…”

He turned around, seeing Izumo, watching him from above.

“Hey…”, Iruka said.

It wasn’t before Izumo sat next to him and took the cigarette to pull on it when they spoke again.

“I thought you’d quit…”, Izumo pointed out, returning the cigarette to Iruka.

“These are the circumstances.”, Iruka answered, voice hoarse and dark, but some kind of determination now in it. He inhaled deeply, then said with even stronger resolve: “I’m going home tomorrow. And back to work on Monday.”

“What if this happens again?”

“I’m a shinobi, Zumo, can take care of myself…”

“So why didn’t you?”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you, Ruka? I’ve seen you fighting. Damn, I’ve even gotten some damn good right punches from you when I’ve pissed you off! And the last guy, that got kicked by that damn kick of yours would most likely never father children, thank Kami sama! So why? Why did you never kicked him like that? Copy Nin or not, I know you could’ve gotten away, even from him! Why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t want to.”, was the simple answer.

“Ruka… Damn it, just look at you! You could have anyone! ANYONE!”

“But I wanted him… ”

Silence. Izumo sighed, pulling another cigarette from the box and lighting it.

“Damn, that’s sick…”

“I know…”

“I should put you in a psychiatry!”

“But instead you’ll let me get back to my life.”

They looked at each other.

“I’ll keep an eye on you, Ruka. One sign he’s torturing you again…”

“Hey, come on now…”

“…cause that’s what he does! And I’ll report you both to the Hokage! You better believe I will!”

“Okay…. Okay…”

Another silence.

“Zumo?”

“Mm?”

“Thank you.”

“For being there when I broke. For letting me in your home for a whole week. For always being next to me when I need you…”. That was left unsaid. It didn’t need to be said. They both knew it.

 

Prelude

“What if I wanted to break

Laugh it all off in your face

What would you do?...”

Iruka was staring at the knife he had been barely a second away from taking his life with only a week ago. He was about to cook with it now…

“What if I fell to the floor

Couldn't take all this anymore

What would you do, do, do?...”

He caught himself watching the place by the door where he had fallen in Izumo’s arms.

“Come break me down

Bury me, bury me

I am finished with you…”

“Finished with you”. Yeah. That would be better. He only hoped to be strong enough to say “no” if Kakashi somehow appeared on his doorstep.

“Stop the song!”, he commanded. Silence fell in the apartment. “Play song number 7 from disk 3. Rewind to chorus. ”

A click.

“It’s the first day… of the rest of your life, it’s the first day….”

Iruka smiled. Yeah. How about living for real for a change? He’d finally let go of his stupid dream, hurting himself and lying himself it was love. He’d tried. He’d endured months in fake hopes. Kakashi never saw him “underneath the underneath”. Underneath his body, to his longing soul.

So it was time to let go now…

“You’ll remember me… for the rest of your life!”

 

Song 1: The Kill by 30 seconds to Mars

Song 2: The first day by Timo Maas

 

Chapter 5 - Final words

Kakashi didn’t come around anymore and Iruka was relieved. He expected it though. He should have been happy – he wasn’t Kakashi’s sex toy anymore. Instead, he felt strangely hollow.

He got back to the Academy and continued teaching like nothing happened. And what had happened? Izumo called it “abuse”. Kotetsu went further, calling it “rape”. Iruka found himself defending Kakashi again, saying the Copy Nin had just been a little more rough.

“You fuckin’ collapsed in my arms, Ruka!”, Izumo screamed, annoyed at his friend, defending his abuser.

“That wasn’t from physical pain…”, Iruka murmured quietly, but that put an end to the discussion.

Iruka never told his friends that hadn’t been the first time he had ended up bleeding after a night with Kakashi.

His colleagues at the Academy and at the Mission desk knew nothing about his private life – Iruka had always been polite, but that’s all. No personal information. They all asked him worriedly if he was alright after his illness – Izumo’s doing, spreading that lie – and Iruka answered with the usual kind smile that he was fine.

Like nothing happened.

And, just the same, nothing hinted what was about to happen that day…

Later Iruka would try to recall how exactly it had all started, but the majority of events that followed that big explosion was a blur to him. He remembered being in the middle of kunai throwing classes with his pre-genins at the Academy’s training fields, when the explosion had shaken the ground. His children screaming… girls crying and even boys trembling in fear. They were just children after all. Little ninja wannabe-s.

Iruka’s mind was busy calculating. Who was attacking them? Sound? Sand? Mist? How many jounins were left in Konoha? Think, damn it, you’re the one handing the missions in the Mission room! How many left? How many… Not enough! He glanced between his children, fragile and trembling in fear, and the Gates, where the explosion had come from. He made the decision.

“Run back to the Academy! Run before me, so I can see you! The first to get there, go to the basement! Everyone, follow them, you’ll take the underground tunnels to the shelter under the Hokage monument!”

“Iruka sensei, how about you!”, the girls screamed in tears.

“GO!”, Iruka had no time for answering their questions. “Run, I got your backs!”

Fortunately the training grounds weren’t far from the school – it was bad enough having 25 7-years olds tripping in their fear. Once they got there, Iruka made sure there was another teacher supervising the evacuation through the tunnel – he stayed long enough to make sure each of his own kids had made it in the tunnel, before only exchanging a look with his colleague, Inoue Kagashi, and turning back to the exit.

“Iruka, don’t! Get back here!”, Kagashi screamed, but Iruka was already running towards the Gates.

Jounin usually assumed Iruka was a teacher because he lacked the skills, needed in a battle. Only a few people knew Iruka was a teacher by choice and was still a chunin because he was content with that position. Had he wanted the higher rank, he could have achieved it years ago. Skills? Oh, he had more than enough!

And enemies, threatening his children, were about to understand that!

*

Kakashi got up, panting, the light blue sparkles of a chidori already forming in his right hand. He was covered in blood, none of which – his own. Unfortunately, all that blood meant his kunai-s and shuriken-s were almost all gone in his enemies’ bodies. Quickly he made a mental path through the dead bodies, scattered on the top of the Hokage tower, taking a note of every kunai that was easy enough to pick from the dead flesh and use again. He would have to clear that path first though, before starting to collect his weapons back and use them again.

A few steps from him Gai didn’t have such problems – the taijutsu master simply didn’t use any weapons, other than his own feet and arms, which were deadly enough. Kakashi had to admit that – Gai was indeed the best when it came to hand-to-hand fights.

Throwing his chidori ahead to clear his way to pick up his weapons, Kakashi ended up back to back with his self-proclaimed “eternal rival”. In only a few seconds his hands were full with kunai-s and shuriken-s again. He even had a few seconds to take a look at the battlefield, being the top of the Hokage tower. He spotted Asuma and wondered how on earth did his friend manage to smoke even during a fight!?! He saw Kotetsu handling quite skillfully a naginata, almost beheading his enemy, while Izumo wielded a beautiful katana, showing no less skills than his best friend. All that made Kakashi a bit surprised those two were still just chunins.

 Always devoted to his senbons, Genma threw them in a way that made Kakashi think about his friend experiencing the same difficulties as he himself after his needles were all thrown. However, Kakashi suspected senbons were a bit more difficult to find and collect from dead bodies to use again. Like Kakashi, Raido seemed content fighting with simple weapons like kunai-s.

The last leaf shinobi Kakashi spotted fighting was a sight to remember. At the time Kakashi could only see the man’s back… and a powerful kick, that made his enemy fly for a while, before landing with a loud crush near the end of the tower’s roof. The enemy didn’t move again. Two more foreign shinobi attacked the mysterious leaf ninja and got some pretty good right punches. The man’s all moves made Kakashi think he was a pretty good taijutsuist. A thought, confirmed by Gai’s acknowledgement:

“That was indeed very beautiful, my youthful friend! We should train together more often, Iruka sensei!”

Kakashi’s jaw dropped. Iruka sensei?!?

The man turned around and had only a second to grin proudly, before his smile vanished abruptly. For a moment Kakashi’s chest tightened, for more than one reason. Was he the reason Iruka’s smile faded? Was it always going to be like that? And what was that pain in his chest when he thought about that? Another thing got his attention too – Iruka’s fighting abilities made it pretty clear he was not a man to endure whatever other men wanted to do to him. All that time, he had been quite able to stop any of Kakashi’s attempts to his body. But he hadn’t. So, Kakashi must have been right that Iruka liked it rough. Right? Most of the times Iruka hadn’t even talked. But then… that time… it was only a plea, not the hard right punch Kakashi deserved for doing this to him. The right punch Iruka had just shown he was perfectly capable of. Yes, Umino Iruka was anything but a weakling. So why had he endured all that time? Did he really like it? And if so, why had he begged him to stop the last time? Had Kakashi finally crossed the last boundary?

Kakashi had no more time to think about that, because in that moment the most unbelievable thing happened – Iruka started running towards him, desperation clear in his eyes. Kakashi saw his mistake too late – unforgivably late for a jounin, for the famous Copy Nin. But he had been too lost watching Iruka to see the enemy, holding a katana, the weapon precisionly pointed at Kakashi’s back. Strong hands pushed him off the way and everything stopped for Kakashi when he found himself holding a wide eyed chunin with a katana, pierced through his chest. Kakashi’s eyes – both of them, the Sharingan memorizing the terrible scene – widened, terrified. Both men looked at each other, then at the wound, too close to the heart. Eyes went back on the other’s ones and Iruka smiled bloodily, eyes beginning to close.

“NO!”, Kakashi said firmly. “You’re not dying on me, Umino! Not after… NO!”

“After what, Kakashi?”, Iruka wanted to ask, but knew he didn’t have the time for that. A few words, he had only few words left to say, the time to say... He had to choose carefully. “I… guess it doesn’t ma-matter if I… tell you now…”, Iruka whispered weakly, still smiling bloodily. “I love you… Hatake Kakashi…”

In the seconds before he fell into the darkness, he managed to see Kakashi’s wide eyes. Iruka inwardly smiled again. The stupid son of a bitch hadn’t even known…

 

Chapter 6 - Revelations - Kakashi

Iruka’s blood on him. That seemed like something Kakashi couldn’t get rid himself of. Painful memories of every time he had seen Iruka’s blood on him flooded his brain. He had thought Iruka liked it rough. Damn, the man had moaned! Kakashi had often found himself pushing harder, just to make Iruka make those noises again! And then that night when he had begged him to stop… the confession, made mere seconds ago… Kakashi’s mind was a mess. What was he supposed to do? “What to do, what to do… Think, genius!”

He didn’t have to – his mind was absent, so his body took control. He was already at the hospital.

“Don’t do this to me, Iruka!”, he whispered. “Don’t… please…”, he all but mouthed.

Tsunade herself took care of Iruka. She all but snatched him from Kakashi’s hands and the Copy Nin had to remind himself how precious Iruka was to their Hokage, to Konoha. “To me?”, a weak voice whispered hesitantly in his head.

“Remain outside, Hatake!”, the Hokage growled, then crushed the door in his face.

Izumo and Kotetsu came soon after that. It wasn’t a beautiful scene.

“What is he doing here!” , Kotetsu demanded as if Izumo had been the one to call Kakashi in the waiting room.

“Keep quiet, Kotetsu”, Izumo growled, his voice quiet, but strangely menacing, almost eerie. “And you, come with me, Hatake Kakashi. There’s something I want to show you.”

Kakashi thought of disobeying, just to piss off Kotetsu more, but something in Izumo’s voice and those deep dark brown eyes made him follow the chunin obediently. Izumo let them in an empty room and pushed Kakashi to sit on the bed.

“There’s a jutsu I learnt specifically for this moment”, the chunin said, an insane glimpse of revenge in his eyes, before he glued his hands to Kakashi’s temples. “Brace yourself, Hatake… to see a man’s pain!”

Kakashi gasped loudly, eyes going wide in surprise, as memories, none of which – his own – flooded his mind, like a movie, playing itself before his eyes. He needed a second to realize he was seeing a memory through Izumo’s eyes. His heart ached, seeing Iruka’s teary eyes, face, showing pain beyond any physical agony one could feel – pain, caused by a soul being shred to pieces.

“I DIDN’T PLAN TO FALL IN FUCKIN’ LOVE WITH HATAKE FUCKIN’ KAKASHI, DAMN IT! WHAT!?! You think I wanted this? You think that’s the way I wanted it to be, selling my body cheap, so my soul could get something I can lie it was love? But that’s life, Kotetsu! You don’t get the man of your dreams! And when Prince Charming tells you to open wider, you fuckin’ open wider, cause that’s all you’ll fuckin’ get from him!!! There’s no cuddling and no love declarations – you learn to take it hard and sometimes, if you’re lucky, you even manage to get some pleasure. You know how cheap you are, giving yourself for nothing, screaming like a slut, obeying like a dog… You learn to never ask for anything, cause you know he doesn’t even hear you. You’re just a tool. Piece of meat. Sometimes it hurts less. Sometimes you have to bite back your screams of pain, cause he only likes it when you scream from pleasure or at least make it sound like that…”

Kakashi was dying slowly. Those sounds, he had been especially rough just to pull from Iruka… Iruka had faked them all, just to make Kakashi happy… never mind he himself had been in pain…

“And you learn never to expect someone to be next to you in the morning. If you hadn’t passed out, you watch him leave right after the sex is over. If you’re lucky enough you black out so you wouldn’t have to see that. After some time you’re so good at that that you make it look like falling into a satisfied slumber… so he doesn’t need to feel bad with himself. Then you woke up in the morning, alone, sore, feeling like the cheapest whore. Like… you’re nothing”

“No, please, stop! No more!”, Kakashi fell to the floor, feeling sick, not giving a damn how pathetic and weak he looked now in the eyes of the chunin before him. There was only one chunin in Kakashi’s world that mattered now… Had always mattered… If only Kakashi hadn’t been the idiot he was… If only they had ever talked…

“We agreed it was only sex…”, Kakashi whimpered weakly, shaken by what he had just seen.

“And they say you’re a genius…”, Izumo snorted.

“I thought he liked it! Those sounds…”

“Shut up!”

“I really thought it was what he needed…”, Kakashi looked up at his tormentor. “Why… why did you show me this?”

“What were you doing in front of his room?”, Izumo answered the question with a question of his own. “There’s only one thing I want to know – do you care for him?”

“Yes!”, Kakashi almost cried.

“How much!”, Izumo almost screamed.

“I think I… I might just… I don’t know, damn it! I’ve got to make it up to him! I have to! I never knew… We never talked… I…”

“Guilt, is that all?”

“No…”, Kakashi whispered. “I-Izumo… would… I need… time… to figure out things for myself… Would you give me a second chance?”

Izumo sighed.

“It’s not me that should give you time, Kakashi, nor am I the one giving second chances. The man you need to ask, no – beg, is fighting for his life a few rooms away.”

“Oh, God, Izumo, what if he….!”

“NO, KAKASHI! He WILL NOT die!!! You hear me? He will not…”

The door opened, Kotetsu stayed there panting, but smiling. “He’ll make it! Tsunade sama said he will make it!!!”

Kakashi and Izumo both released a breath they didn’t know they had held. Izumo smiled widely to his friend, before Kotetsu left, and Kakashi sent a silent prayer to the Heaven. They were once again alone, Izumo already by the door.

“Izumo?”, Kakashi called and the chunin turned again. “Why?”, the Copy Nin asked again.

Izumo sighed, looking at his feet. “You know, at first I just wanted you to feel his pain. It wasn’t before your reaction that I understood… it had been all due to lack of a normal communication. Seeing you like this, I believe you do have feelings for him, even if you yourself didn’t know until now. So talk to him, Kakashi. I may not be the one giving second chances, but I do believe in them.”, he smiled slightly, then said firmly: “That doesn’t mean I have forgotten the past. I’ll keep an eye on you both, Hatake. One bruise on him, and I don’t give a fuck if he actually comes to really like it rough, I’ll report you to the Hokage and hunt you down myself. Even if it kills me!”

Kakashi only nodded, dumbfounded. Izumo smiled slightly again. “Now go to him. I’ll handle Kotetsu.”

It was some time after the door closed after Izumo that Kakashi finally was able to stand up from the floor after all he had seen and heard that evening.

Prelude

 Iruka slowly opened his eyes. That had been a mistake! He groaned and closed them again. It wasn’t before he heard someone calling his name that he braced himself to open his eyes again.

“Ok, I’m dreaming. Or maybe I did die?”, he asked himself.

The most unbelievable of all views was now before his very (tired) eyes. A face, a face he’d always wanted to see that concerned for him, was watching him now even more cautiously. Mismatched eyes widened, nose mere inches from Iruka’s own, lips covered by thin black material opened. Iruka held his breath.

“DON’T EVER DO THIS AGAIN, BAKA!”

Ok, so maybe he wasn’t dreaming after all. He managed an arrogant smile.

“Why? What did you want me to do… master?”

Kakashi backed off. His face cringed in pain.

“Iruka, I… no…”, the last word, almost a whimper, made Iruka’s eyes widen in shock and stare questioningly in Kakashi’s.

It was then when the other major missing thing came in view – a pissed off Kotetsu.

“What did you do to him! What did you do to him again, bastard?!!”, Kotetsu growled, seeing Iruka’s wide eyes and completely missing Kakashi’s own.

Another strange thing happened then. Izumo stepped in and took a hold on Kotetsu’s shoulders, keeping him from doing something stupid. “Calm down, Ko, I let him in.”

“You did what!?!”, Kotetsu and Izumo were engaged in a battle of glares, so Kakashi had a second to exchange one more look with Iruka.

“I’m sorry.”, he said so quietly, that only Iruka could hear him. Iruka’s eyes widened even more if that was even possible. Tears were threatening to start filling those same chocolate eyes, but the next second Kakashi was gone. Kotetsu and Izumo stopped arguing and looked back at their friend.

“Ruka?”, Kotetsu quietly asked.

“To much information…”, Iruka murmured, his eyes closing again. A single tear made its way down his cheek as he was falling back into oblivion.

 

Chapter 7 - I’m here now

Iruka was almost forcefully dragged to Kotetsu and Izumo’s home, his two friends too worried to let him go to his own apartment, like he wanted to. It took some time, some convincing, puppy eyes, and finally – an angry tirade, before Iruka all but flew back home.

Well… maybe that wasn’t such a good idea after all…

He had gone to his bedroom first, sat on the bed. Memories, memories he didn’t want flooded his mind. “Stop, STOP IT! …. Kakashi… I’m bleeding…” He stood up quickly and exited the room.

Tea. Yeah, he’ll make some tea…

The kitchen. His coffee boiling, making a mess. The knife. Iruka lifted his hands – they were trembling again. He exited the kitchen, walking past the door. “Izumo….! Zumo, I… Help me?....”

Iruka cringed, closing his eyes to delete his memories. If only he could…

He dropped on the floor in the living room, crossing his legs. Maybe he was swaying back and forth. Maybe he was crying. Maybe… it just didn’t matter anymore…

There was a knock on the door, sounding loudly in the quiet apartment. Iruka thought about ignoring it…. Why answer? Did it matter? Who mattered…?

Kakashi stepped back, his fist still held high as if he was going to knock again, when the door opened harshly. Iruka stood there, his eyes red and narrowed, tears drying on his cheeks, his look haunted. They looked at each other, Kakashi – cautiously, and Iruka – like he was calculating something. His face cringed in self-disgust for a second, then went completely blank again. He stepped back in the dark apartment, not saying anything, leaving the door open. Kakashi took that as an invitation. He followed Iruka.

There wasn’t a single lamp lit in the apartment. Everything was eerily dark. Iruka walked back to his bedroom, his hands on his belt, eyes still blank. His pants fell to the floor. He heard the sharp intake of breath, then felt the warm hands, stopping his own, which were about to remove his boxers.

“Ruka, no….”, Kakashi whispered. “What are you doing?”

“Whatever master wants me to”, was the answer, given with the same unemotional voice.

He couldn’t see Kakashi closing his eyes, clenching his jaw, a look of pure self-hatred on his face. How had he let that happen?

“Iruka, please… I’ve never wanted this! Never! I thought you needed it, that’s why I kept going… Please, just… Give me a chance…”

“A chance for what?”

“… To fall in love with you.”

Iruka froze. Almost literally. Kakashi needed a second or two to realize the man in his arms wasn’t even breathing.

“Iruka…!”, he shook him gently and they both took a deep breath, Kakashi’s – from relief.

“Iruka… please… talk to me!”, Kakashi whispered.

There was another moment before Kakashi realized Iruka was shaking with silent sobs.

“It’s ok… let go…”

The most heartbreaking cry filled the apartment, filled Kakashi’s ears, filled his eyes with tears for the pain the man in his arms was in, even now. Iruka was shaking so violently now, that they both fell to the floor and Iruka finally turned in Kakashi’s embrace, only to clung to the Copy Nin’s vest and uniform, trying to muffle his cries in the clothes.

“It’s ok… It’s gonna be ok now… We’ll be fine, Ruka, I promise…”, Kakashi kept saying, unconsciously kissing the top of Iruka’s head. “I’m here now.”

 

Chapter 8 - Revelations – Kotetsu and Izumo 

Iruka woke up in his own bed, the blanket wrapped around him, embracing him in a warm cocoon. He felt strange. Warm. Safe…. Loved.

He jumped from his bed. That was just one of those dreams, that seemed wonderful while you dreamt them, but then you had to wake up and it was so… painful to understand it was only a dream, a thing, that could never happen…

The sound from the kitchen alarmed him and Iruka froze for a second, before stealthily moving to his own kitchen. Only to freeze again.

Hatake Kakashi, the man of his dreams, was serving a breakfast he had obviously gone to buy earlier and was pouring coffee in Iruka’s cup. He turned and smiled.

“Good morning! Coffee?”

Iruka swayed again. Strong arms were immediately there to pull him close to a warm, rock-hard body and a gentle voice whispered in his ear.

“Hey, don’t faint on me now! And… I’m real. Promise.”

Iruka snorted, but smiled while he said: “That’s what all dreams say.”

Kakashi looked at him seriously. “Not nightmares?”, he asked quietly.

“No. Never.”, Iruka said, just as seriously. Kakashi smiled, then gently led him to the table, helping him sit down on the chair. He smiled again, something visible even through the mask.

“Eat now. Then you can take a bath while I run some errands. And later I’m taking you out.”, Kakashi  stated.

Iruka choked, face red. “Like… on a date?”, he asked hesitantly.

Kakashi laughed, but shook his head. “Well… I don’t want to lie to you. It’s more like a bribe.”

“A bribe?”, Iruka blinked stupidly. “What for?”, he asked, still finding simply talking to the man of his dreams so effortlessly too strange.

“To talk to me. To be precise – to tell me everything.”

Iruka gulped. He was doomed.

*

The day after Kotetsu met Kakashi at the hospital was the same day Iruka was discharged, dragged to his friends’ house and then run from there. It had also been the night Kakashi found Iruka in his dark apartment and stayed with him this time when Iruka broke. 24 hours – that’s how long it had taken for certain things, that had poisoned their souls for years, to clear up. As soon as they had started, just started, talking.

And it was time for two other men to start talking.

Kotetsu was still pissed off – it was visible in his frowning, but Izumo could also feel it. He felt like he needed to say something. No, not something. Everything.

Looking at his friend, bent over his set of kunai-s, cleaning them, Izumo took a deep breath and started slowly:

“You know, the things I told Kakashi… I believe in that. And I would appreciate one for myself.”

Kotetsu turned, even more frowning. “One… what?”

“A second chance.”, Izumo simply said.

Knowing his friend the way he did, Kotetsu was immediately alarmed. He stood up and walked to Izumo, slightly towering over his friend.

“What did you do, Zumo?”, he asked cautiously.

Izumo lowered his gaze, but that didn’t work – Kotetsu grabbed his cheeks and made his friend look at him. “What. Did you. Do, Zumo?”, he asked again. Izumo took another deep breath.

“I told Kakashi he should ask Iruka for a second chance and I would help him.”, he confessed.

“You did what!?!!?”, Kotetsu screamed and Izumo flinched. Kotetsu immediately dropped his voice. “Why?”

“I showed him, Ko. I showed him in my mind what happened the other day, Iruka’s confession. You remember that jutsu I learnt? It was for that specific occasion… I showed him. And watched his reaction…. He loves him, Ko. It’s just… It’s a thing I understand too damn well. They just haven’t talked to each other. All that time… they loved each other and never said a thing…”

Kotetsu was stunned. “And… you want to tell me that Kakashi’s abuse over Iruka was…”

“He thought that was what Ruka needed.”, Izumo nodded.

Kotetsu blinked stupidly, his mind slowly digesting all that information. Finally his eyes turned back to Izumo. “Why?”, he asked again.

Izumo was getting angry. “I just told you why…”

“Why did you want a second chance?”, Kotetsu specified. “What for?”

Izumo’s eyes turned back to the floor. Kotetsu refused to let it go.

“You were just talking about how big of a mistake not talking to the other was. Don’t do the same mistake, Zumo. Talk to me.”

“I…” , he started hesitantly. “I want a second chance… with you.”

Kotetsu frowned again. “But we haven’t really argued. I’m not mad at you… anymore”, he smirked lopsidedly. “A chance for what?”

“A chance for us… to be together. I mean I… I might - no I’m sure I am… Kotetsu, I’m…inlovewithyou”, he murmured, turning bright red.

Whatever he had expected, it wasn’t what he received – Kotetsu’s powerful right punch! Izumo tripped back, then turned around surprised, shocked, hurt… only to face Kotetsu’s wild anger! He was breathing hard, eyes narrowed, lips pulled back, he was almost growling.

“You fuckin’ idiot!”, he screamed. Izumo’s heart stopped – that had been exactly what he had been afraid of. Kotetsu didn’t stop. “Years, Zumo! Years on end I’ve stopped my mouth from telling you about how I feel! I’ve  stopped my hands from touching you the way they wanted to! I’ve tried to stop my body from craving you! And you’re telling me just now!!??”, Kotetsu shrieked, while Izumo’s eyes were getting wider and wider.

It was Izumo’s turn to push him hard  on the chest.

“So why did you!!??? Why stopping yourself??!!! Why did you not, for once, made the first step???!!! Why am I the guilty one again???!!! I’m here now, Kotetsu, and I’m the one pouring his soul out and getting the fuck punched from the one he lo…”

Izumo’s tirade was finally silenced by a kiss he had been waiting far too long. Kotetsu’s mouth on his felt like liquid fire, his tongue dancing inside his mouth with all the restrained passion from years of deprivation, lips pushing hard to the point of bruising. Eventually they had to part to breathe hard against each others’ lips.

“I love you too…”, Kotetsu panted.

Izumo smiled wickedly. “Good. Now shut up and fuck the brains outta me!”

 

Chapter 9 - Promises

Iruka was chewing slowly, eyes avoiding the mismatched pair in front of him.

“I know what you’re doing.”, the man sitting against him said. “And no matter how slowly you finish your meal you’d have to finish it at some point. And I’ll still ask you that question.”

Iruka sighed and dropped his chopsticks. He finally looked at Kakashi. “Ask me.”, he whispered dejectedly.

“Why? It made some sense when I thought you liked it that way, but now that I know you didn’t… Why enduring that pain, all that time…”

“Cause that was the only way… to feel your skin against mine… to feel you touching me, almost like you wanted me…”

“I wanted you! I want you now…”

They both fell silent, looking each other, Kakashi – trying to convince Iruka he meant it while Iruka’s eyes were full with disbelief. He wanted to, oh how he wanted to, but he just couldn’t believe.

“You didn’t answer my question last night.”, Kakashi said and Iruka frowned, trying to remember. “Would you give me… give us, a chance?”

Iruka snorted, shaking his head. “This isn’t happening.”, he said, sounding convinced. “I just know it. Either it’s some of those dreams, that seem just too good to be true and you know they aren’t even while you dream them… or it’s just another sick joke, but I cannot take anymore…”, he closed his eyes.

Again, Kakashi was aware just how much pain he had caused to the man in front of him. Again, he swore he would make up for that.

“I guess I’ll just have to show you.”, he said determinedly. Iruka’s head shot up and they just stared at each other again. “I’ll prove you my intentions for you are serious. I’ll prove you I want this to work this time.”

Kakashi meant it. And Iruka wanted it to be true, but couldn’t… just couldn’t believe it anymore…

*

Kotetsu stood on the balcony, smoking. Well, he was sitting actually, his back against the wall. The smile he didn’t know was on his face widened as he remembered why his legs felt like jelly.

He remembered last night. Izumo’s face, showing pure bliss while he was kissing him.

“Mmmm…”

Ah, those moans drove Kotetsu insane! And then those little gasps and small encouragements when Kotetsu undressed them both…

“Mmmhhh, Tetsu…”, when his hands had pulled up Izumo’s shirt. “Ah!”, when Kotetsu’s fingers brushed against hard nipples. “Nnnnhhh!”, when those same nipples were caressed by Kotetsu’s lips and tongue. “ Ha…ah…Yes,  almost…! Don’t stop… lower…lo-aaah!”, when Kotetsu’s fingers trailed to Izumo’s groin. “Aaah, Tetsu!... ”, when those fingers finally pulled Izumo’s impressive length out.

The moment their eyes met, Izumo’s pleading ones begged him for more. And he gave it to him!

“Kotetsu…”, his name like a prayer, falling from Izumo’s parted lips, wet and swollen by their kisses. Izumo’s eyes, glossy and half lidded with lust, begging for release... They had filled with tears when Kotetsu had slowly started pushing himself inside Izumo. Kotetsu had lost himself at that moment. So… tight… so… needy… “Te-Tetsu…”, Izumo had pleaded. “Do I hurt you, baby? You want me to pull out?”, Kotetsu had hissed, jaw clenched  with his efforts to hold on. Izumo’s eyes had filled with tears again, but Kotetsu had the feeling it wasn’t from pain this time. Izumo had smiled weakly. “Just… go easy, ok?”

Kotetsu had complied. His first thrust had been something he would never forget. He had almost fainted, it felt that good. And it had gotten unbearably better when Izumo moaned. Kotetsu knew then that he only had to find… “KOTETSU!!!!”

Kotetsu smiled, exhaling the smoke. That was so far his most precious memory – Izumo’s wide eyes, his ragged breath, pure bliss on his face… “Again!”. Ah, demanding! Kotetsu loved that! He just had to comply, to hit that spot inside his lover, that made him see stars… “Please! More! Kotetsu, more, NOW!”. Ah, sweet sounds! “Koteeeetsss….AAaaAaAaaH! Yes! Oh, FUCK!” Izumo’s head falling back to the pillow, his back arching up, his legs tightening around Kotetsu, nails sinking in his shoulders… Ah, he must have scars … Good, Kotetsu smiled wickedly.

And after Kotetsu also had reached his peak, after they had laid there, panting, embracing each other, after their racing hearts had finally calmed down, Kotetsu had heard the most wonderful of all sounds that night  - a tired, sleepy “L’v you…Tetsu…”

“I love you too, baby…”, he had whispered and felt Izumo’s lips on his shoulder pull back in a smile.

Kotetsu heard the phone ringing, put out the cigarette and quickly ran to answer it before the sound could wake his lover.

“Yes?”

“Kotetsu? Aaahm, hi there, it’s Kakashi... Is Izumo there?”

“He’s sleeping.”, Kotetsu replied, torn between irritation, anger and curiosity.  Curiosity won, and he was also a bit grateful to Kakashi for putting certain thoughts in Izumo’s mind, thoughts that had let to the most amazing night in Kotetsu’s  life. “What is it, Kakashi?”, he finally asked.

“I wanted to ask him… Never mind, I’ll call him later…”

“Peonies.”

“…What?”

“Iruka’s favorite flowers. Peonies”, Kotetsu explained. “And almost anything chocolate, without nuts.”

“I… thanks, Kotetsu.”, Kakashi said, confused.

“Just don’t make me regret it, ok?”

“I won’t.”, Kakashi promised.

Kotetsu hung up. He turned around only to face a smiling Izumo. That knowing smile widened and Izumo opened his arms, saying:

“Come here…”

Kotetsu couldn’t be happier to oblige.

 

Chapter 10 - Peonies

(A.N.SUGGESTED  Music for the background – Natasha Bedingfield – I bruise easily)

“That’s ridiculous.”, Iruka complained.

“Just keep walking…”, Kakashi insisted.

It was all too surreal for Iruka. It had been a week since Kakashi’s statement that he would work on proving his intentions for Iruka. Since then they had had lunch together every day and Kakashi walked him home after his classes were over. He never made an attempt at touching him again, nor did he hinted he wanted something more than spending time with Iruka.

And then it was tonight. Kakashi had taken him out for dinner this time. And to a pretty expensive restaurant. Lights had been dim enough and the place had been lit mostly by dozens of candles. Food had been more than just good – it had been excellent. And the way Kakashi had been looking at him… Iruka had been nervous the whole time, almost failing to even taste what he ate.

And then Kakashi had walked him home again, but this time had pulled the keys out of his hands, unlocked the door and turned to smile gently to Iruka. “Do you trust me? I know it’s still too soon, but…”

“I do.”, Iruka had nodded. Kakashi had smiled.

“Close your eyes and walk before me.”

So they were in his apartment now, somewhere around his bedroom door Iruka guessed.

“Iruka? Open your eyes…”

Iruka obliged. He opened his eyes. And gasped, dumbfounded.

Peony petals. There was a thick path of red peony petals, leading to his bed and the whole room was lit only by small candles, throwing shadows on the black satiny sheets.

Iruka was still gaping at the view, when he felt Kakashi embracing him gently from behind and whispering in his ear:

“A bird told me your favorite flowers were peonies… but I couldn’t bring myself to actually buying a bouquet for a man, so…”

Iruka wanted to say something, but couldn’t swallow the lump in his throat. Too many thoughts were fighting in his head. He was deeply touched by the gesture, but couldn’t help but think if this was all about sex again. The candles, the black satin… Was it all about that again?… He felt his heart sinking, he was almost scared by the thought that he would have to… again…

“Iruka, look at me.”, Kakashi insisted.

Iruka gulped but turned around. And was shocked to see Kakashi’s unmasked face, for the first time in his life. That straight nose, full lips, that were smiling, his whole face showing sincerity he hadn’t ever seen on Kakashi’s face before. Somewhere in his confused mind, Iruka realized the gesture of Kakashi bearing his face before him was a sign of trust… So maybe, just maybe…

“Iruka, this time… This is not about just sex. We will never just fuck again. I want your permission to make love to you tonight… and every other night for as long as you let me…”

Iruka gasped, his eyes watering – that was a particularly sensitive subject.

“I want you to know… You must know that… That man, before, that was the mask… For the last two weeks and tonight as well… this is me, Iruka. This is the real Kakashi. So, knowing that…Will you let me, Ruka? Will you let me love you this time, physically and with all my soul?”

Iruka nodded, lowering his gaze, tears streaming down his cheeks. He felt Kakashi coming closer, warm and gentle hands brushing his tears off. He felt lips on his forehead, Kakashi’s gentle voice whispering softly “Don’t cry, Iruka… Please… I don’t ever want to see tears in your eyes again, knowing I’m the reason for them… I cannot take it…”

“I’m sorry…”, Iruka whispered.

“Don’t”, Kakashi simply said. “I promised you I’ll make it up to you and tonight I’d like to try. But you need to trust me, Ruka… I know I want too much…”

“I’ll try.”, Iruka said.

Kakashi smiled. He gently pushed Iruka towards the bed, they both walking on the peony petals. He tenderly laid Iruka on the black satiny sheets, taking a moment to admire the breathtaking view. Again, he smiled encouragingly to Iruka.

“Ok then… we’ll take it slowly. I want you to tell me everything, where you like me touching and where you don’t want me to… Talk to me, Ruka, tell me everything…”

“…O-okay…”, Iruka nodded, his eyes still almost scared. Kakashi’s hand moved Iruka’s shirt up his body, Kakashi’s breath ghosting near his ear. “Talk to me….”, he reminded.

Iruka let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He’d confess, he decided. He took another deep breath and said, panting:

“This is stupid. I feel so nervous and… We must have done it about hundred times but…”

“No, Ruka… we’ve never done this before.”, Kakashi corrected.

This didn’t help at all with Iruka’s nervousness. Suddenly he laughed weakly. Kakashi’s head snapped up and he looked at his lover questioningly.

“It’s just when you said that we’ve never done this before, I thought about those books you always read where the woman begs the man to be gentle and it’s just so absurd in our case, after…”

Kakashi silenced him, putting a finger over his lips. He smiled to Iruka.

“First of all, you’re not a woman and I know that. I also know you’ll never beg, not for something like that…. Though I’d like to see you beg me to touch you more, but there’s time… And…it’s not absurd, Iruka. I cannot delete the past… but I can make things better now. And I WILL be gentle with you…”

“Kakashi…”, new tears filled Iruka’s eyes but he stopped himself, remembering Kakashi didn’t like that.

Once he had removed Iruka’s shirt Kakashi’s hand traveled down and torturously slowly pulled down the zipper of Iruka’s pants. Iruka’s breathing was now series of ragged pants and gasps and he literally stopped breathing when Kakashi took hold on his throbbing flesh.

“So hard already…”, Kakashi whispered, then smiled wickedly. “Is that for me, Ruru?”

Iruka turned crimson and averted his eyes, only to feel Kakashi’s hand holding his chin and gently turning him back around to stare in Iruka’s ashamed eyes.

“Don’t ever be ashamed, Iruka. You’re…”, Kakashi lowered his lips and breathed over Iruka’s own “…perfect.”

Kakashi kissed him again, a chaste kiss, showing love and demanding trust. He lowered himself over Iruka’s body and littered his chest with small teasing feather light kisses, that turned openmouthed, that turned light licking of erect nipples and down Iruka’s six pack. By the time Kakashi’s mouth reached Iruka’s lower half, Iruka was not only moaning, but he was writhing, lost in passion. Taking advantage of his lover’s distraction, Kakashi took a deep breath, dove back down and engulfed him whole. Iruka cried, a long loud cry, and actually jumped in an almost sitting position, hands clutching the sheets in a deathly grip, eyes wide and… scared?

Kakashi removed his lips of Iruka’s throbbing flesh and waited till Iruka looked at him.

“What is it? Did I hurt you? Or was it just too soon…”

“I-I just.. I-I’ve never…”, Iruka tried, then gulped and averted his gaze again.

“You mean… not with other guys…”, Kakashi tried to be delicate.

Iruka snorted, a bitter sound that reminded Kakashi of their dark past.

“You were the first and only, Kakashi.”, he simply said, eyes still glued to the sheets.

Kakashi’s world shattered. He remembered their first time. He hadn’t been as rough as that last time, but he hadn’t been nearly as gentle as he should have been had he known it had been Iruka’s first… he had been Iruka’s first…

“I’m so sorry…”, he shook his head in self-disgust. “so…sorry…”

He felt Iruka’s fingers on his cheek and met Iruka’s hesitant smile. “Nothing happened. This is our first time, remember? You said it…”, he whispered, voice cracking. Kakashi smiled, though still a bit bitterly.

“Yeah… I did.”, he said, then looked at Iruka’s still throbbing member and back to Iruka’s hesitant eyes. “Did you not like it when I…”, he trailed.

“I-I did… like it… a lot…”,Iruka turned crimson again. Kakashi smiled reassuringly.

“Let’s try again?”, he asked and Iruka nodded, laying slowly back down on the bed. “Try to relax…”, Kakashi said with a soothing voice.

Kakashi’s lips slowly encircled him again till he slid all of Iruka’s impressive length into his mouth. Iruka moaned again. Kakashi bobbed his head a few times, then stopped again and looked Iruka in the eyes.

“Iruka, I’m gonna stretch you now. I’ll do it slowly, so just try to relax…”

Iruka nodded. He felt Kakashi’s slicked finger on his opening and wondered when had the Copy Nin managed to get the lube, but his thoughts vanished when he simultaneously felt Kakashi’s lips back around his shaft and Kakashi’s finger inside him. He moaned again, louder this time. Kakashi didn’t stop giving him his first blow job while he added the second finger. Iruka arched  from bed and felt Kakashi’s other hand gently pushing him back down.

“Kakashi… I’m ready…”, he moaned.

Kakashi didn’t stop, only sucked him harder. Iruka whimpered weakly.

“I-If you d-don’t stop, I’m a… don’t wanna… Kakashi!”

The Copy Nin finally stopped and looked at  him. Iruka managed only one word: “Together.”

Kakashi’s eyes widened, but then his expression softened, his lips still around Iruka’s shaft pulled back in a smile just before he removed them from his lover’s member.

“Okay…”, he simply said, removed his fingers and positioned himself. Their eyes locked, then Kakashi started entering him. Iruka gasped – it was nothing like before, when Kakashi would simply plunge forward. This was slow and so breathtakingly gentle, that Iruka’s eyes watered again, but he couldn’t stop himself even as he saw Kakashi frowning. They both took a deep breath and opened their mouths – Kakashi to beg Iruka to not cry and Iruka to tell him it was ok and nothing was wrong, but then they just both closed their mouths again. Kakashi was now fully sheathed and they only stared at each other, wordlessly. And what they saw in each other’s eyes almost made them both cry.

Love. How could they be so blind not to see it all that time?

No words needed, Iruka just silently nodded. Kakashi pulled back, gently, then pushed forward, even slower. Iruka took a deep shaky breath, tears finally falling down his cheeks. Again – back and forth, oh so slowly. Back and forth, gently, as if Iruka was made of those peony petals, scattered on the floor.

So different. Nothing like before. Kakashi was nothing like the man he had made himself to be, thinking Iruka wanted it like that. But now, knowing better, he could be… himself.

Slowly. “I love you”, each gentle thrust said and Iruka almost believed it, almost…

“Please…K..Ka…shi… please…”, he sobbed.

Kakashi knew he had to hit harder to reach that spot so Iruka could find his release, question was how much harder. He took another deep breath.

“You’ll tell me immediately if I hurt you!”, he demanded. Iruka nodded silently, new tears streaming down.

Kakashi made his thrusts deeper and gradually harder. He knew he got the right place when Iruka cried, almost in shock and searched Kakashi’s eyes, like he needed some comfort, something to calm him down. Kakashi smiled for his lover, though he inwardly cursed himself – the way Iruka was looking at him, shocked, having never before experienced that feeling, only reminded Kakashi how bad of a lover he himself had been for the gorgeous man laying under him now. He had to delete those memories from both their minds.

“This is me, Ruka…”, he suddenly said again. “ Not… before… Now…This is the real me,… making love to you… Please, believe me…”

He continued thrusting, aiming at that spot only, reveling in Iruka’s pure delight, seen on his face, in those closed eyes with their lids trembling, parted lips and ragged breathing, moans turned full blown cries of ecstasy. Finally, Kakashi was the lover Iruka deserved.

And then it finally happened – Iruka’s eyes shot open and he looked at Kakashi almost desperately, shocked and lost in waves of unbearable pleasure. His mouth hung open, his breathing – series of pants.

“Let it go, Ruka… Let it all out, let me hear you…”, Kakashi encouraged him.

Arching beautifully above the bed, legs digging in Kakashi’s lower back and hands hugging Kakashi’s neck, Iruka cried, a sound almost desperate and so full of Iruka’s own amazement and passion. That was all Kakashi needed and he was there, there with his love, both of them experiencing their most powerful orgasm in their whole lives.

They must have both blacked out from the intense feeling for the next thing Kakashi remembered was admiring Iruka’s peaceful face, the most beautiful thing ever in this world. He wanted to say that he loved him… but not now, after the most amazing sex ever. As amazing as it had been, it had been mostly  physical. And Kakashi wanted to say it when Iruka was fully awake and not high after sex.

He couldn’t hold it though. He made sure Iruka was still unconscious before he whispered:

“I love you…Iruka.”

 

Chapter 11 – Declarations

It was raining when Iruka woke up in the morning. He heard the drops on his windows and smiled – he loved it when it rained when he was at home. He stayed a few moments like this, blissfully  unaware of anything else but the raindrops, then his eyes shot open. Last night…? Was it a dream?

He moved just a tiny bit. Ah, sore again. But it was different this time. He was sore, but not in pain. If anything he felt…. finally relieved. He looked around himself – he was tugged with the blanket, up to his chin and he could see the peony petals on the floor. He took a deep breath and tried to sit only to feel like he had never felt before – sure his behind reminded him of last night, but more than anything he felt his legs still weak… from pleasure. All of his skin was still tingling slightly, his body never before having experienced something like last night’s ecstasy, when the cause of this all entered the room.

They stared at each other. Kakashi was maskless again, his chest bare, only black sweatpants (Iruka’s black sweatpants) wrapped around his body. His hair was messy, his eyes were shining. He was perfect, Iruka decided once again.

“Hi”, Kakashi smiled sincerely.

“H-Hello.”, Iruka stuttered, annoyed at himself for that weakness.

“I made coffee…”, Kakashi started.

“Thank you…”

“And breakfast, you should eat, get some strength back…”

“You didn’t have to…”

“I filled the bathtub too, I guess you’re kinda sore, I’m sorry…”

“It wasn’t…”

“I love you.”

Silence. Iruka watched him with consideration, no gaping mouths or wide eyes, just… calculating. He smiled gently and averted his eyes.

“Thank you, Kakashi.”, he simply said.

Kakashi felt like someone just slapped him. Hard.

“What, you need to be dying to confess something like that?”, he asked bitterly.

“Yes.”, another simple answer. Another slap.

“I guess I deserved this”, Kakashi thought, still a bit taken aback.

“What do I need to do for you to believe me?”, he asked quietly, still waiting for Iruka to look at him.

He finally did – he turned around and looked Kakashi directly.

“Prove it. In time.”, he simply said.

Kakashi felt pretty dumbfounded again, staring blankly at the floor. Until he noticed Iruka was struggling to stand up. Kakashi immediately took a hold on Iruka’s forearm and helped him up, then he granted himself the reward of simply holding the tanned body close to his own pale one. Just for a moment of course. He stepped back then and smiled again, a bit more forcefully this time.

“How about that breakfast now? And after that I’ll warm up the water in the bathtub again, so you could take your time to…”

“You can join me there.”, Iruka offered shyly, then smiled hesitantly. “Since I said you have to prove yourself to me, I should as well give you a chance for that, right?”

Kakashi just smiled again, more naturally now, and leaned to whisper in Iruka’s ear: “Thank you.”

*

Iruka leaned back, his back to Kakashi’s front, and sighed contently. He splashed the water in the tub and said in a negligent manner:

“The food was great, didn’t know you could cook…”

“I can’t.”, Kakashi said. Iruka waited. “I guess you have to care enough for things to happen the way they’re supposed to…. To care enough for the one you’re doing said things for…”, Kakashi added.

Iruka fidgeted and was happy that Kakashi couldn’t see his blushing face and the hope that was creeping once again there. The Copy Nin misunderstood that movement.

“Are you ok? I should have used more lube last night…”

“Kakashi…”

“Did I hurt you?... a-again…”, he added brokenly.

“No.”

Silence.

“Kakashi?”

“I don’t deserve this.”

“Wha-“

“You. You feel so good in my arms now, but I can’t shake off the feeling that these hands are too dirty to hold you. It’s like… I wash them, you know, as if they’re still bloody, and they get bloody from all the washing but…”

“Kakashi…”

“I don’t deserve you…”

“Shut up!”, Iruka screamed, then took a deep shaky breath and said, sounding almost tired: “Enough…”

Silence filled the bathroom for another minute before Iruka spoke again.

“I’m trying, Kakashi. I did forgive you. And I am trying, so hard trying, to believe you, to work things out, to make this, us, work. So work with me. Ok? Just… drop the self-hatred and concentrate on…”

“You.”, Kakashi said, voice quiet, but passionate, lips clamping on Iruka’s shoulder and arms tightening around him.

“Us.”, Iruka corrected him. “Ok?”

“I really don’t know how you can stand me…”, Iruka took another deep breath, as if to scold him again, and Kakashi added quickly: “Ok, Ok! Yeah… us….”

Iruka sighed. “Ok. Let’s try to have a normal conversation now, can we? What are you doing today?”

“Loving you…”

Iruka chuckled. “That was a good one. Still stale, but I’ll swallow it up…”

“Oh, will you now…”

“Kakashiiiii!”, Iruka warned.

“What?”, he asked innocently.

“Seriously now.”

“Taking you out for lunch. When’s your break?”

“Uhm… 12?”

“12 it is.”, Kakashi said but then became quiet again. Iruka felt something was wrong. Again.

“Kakashi? What is it?”

“I… don’t know anything about you.”

That was true. And so was the other way around.

“Well… I don’t know anything about you too.”, Iruka pointed out. “Ask?”, he offered.

“What’s your favorite food?”

Iruka chuckled again. “Sushi, any kind. I’m simple.”

“You’re anything but simple.”

“So… what’s yours?”

“Yakitori.”

“I’ll make yakitori for dinner then, since lunch is your treat…”

“You don’t have to…”

“Neither do you. That’s a relationship, Kakashi, you do things to please the other.”

Kakashi’s arms tightened once again. “I like it, being in a relationship with you”, he stated, tasting the words. Yes, definitely sounds good. “Ruka?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I please you tonight?”

He felt the slightest flinch, and then Iruka chuckled and said “As long as my ass is ok till then…”

Kakashi smiled. He was already thinking about all the ways he wanted to please Iruka, to make his body writhe again, to make him moan and scream from real pleasure. Not to fuck him, but make love to him, not only to the body, but till he reached Iruka’s very soul.

And, if he was lucky, soon even the slight flinch when talking about sex will be gone. If he worked hard enough, he’d be good enough lover for Iruka. Not a fuck buddy, but a real partner.

 

Chapter 12 – Deserved

Kakashi wasn’t a big fan of sushi, so he had to ask Genma to recommend him a decent restaurant for lunch. No, no decent. The best.

Judging from Iruka’s awe when they sat in their private cabin, he liked the place a lot and Kakashi liked it too. Quiet relaxing music filled the space, there were bamboo decorations, calligraphies and even a small fountain in the middle of the restaurant, right next to their cabin.

Only one thing bothered Kakashi.

“Ruka?”

“Yes?”, he looked at him innocently.

“You could… you could sit next to me.”, Kakashi said, feeling stupid for pointing that out. But Iruka only smiled, sitting across from him.

“But then I wouldn’t be able to see you well.”

Kakashi smiled – he could live with that explanation.

Their food was delivered quickly and once they were alone again, Kakashi took off his mask and smiled lovingly to Iruka, who returned with a happy smile of his own. They had ordered a plate of all kinds of sushi and Iruka was now choosing what to taste first.

“Ah, look, there’re three kinds of onigiri…”

“But two of them have tuna.”, Kakashi murmured.

“You don’t like tuna?”

“Uh, no…”

“And I love tuna!”, Iruka exclaimed. Kakashi grinned. He picked one piece with his chopsticks and lift it to Iruka’s lips.

“Open up.”

Iruka obediently did and something stirred in Kakashi’s belly when he saw the tips of the chopsticks disappearing in Iruka’s mouth. That feeling went straight to his groin when Iruka closed his eyes, chewing happily, and moaned.

“Mmmmh, that’s good!”

“Ah, Ruka… please don’t do this…”, Kakashi begged.

Iruka’s eyes snapped open and he saw Kakashi’s dazed gaze, locked on his lips. He recalled his own moan and his cheeks turned pink, but he smiled, looking at the table and saying “sorry”.

The rest of the lunch went smoothly. Each of them used his own chopsticks to feed himself and the light conversation was comforting for them both. Kakashi found Iruka laughed easily and he caught himself telling funny stories and jokes just to hear more of that sound and see more of Iruka’s happy face. In that moment Kakashi found his new addiction and it was Iruka’s laughter.

When they finished eating their green tea was served. It was then when Iruka decided he had watched Kakashi’s face enough while they were eating, so he stood up and moved next to him. Hesitantly in the beginning, he moved closer to Kakashi until he found himself in Kakashi’s warm and unbelievably gentle embrace. He was still a bit tensed, when he heard Kakashi sigh contently.

“Mmmm…. If it depended on me, you’d remain forever in my arms, just like that…”

Iruka said nothing, but he loosened up a little in Kakashi’s hug. One thing kept bothering him though and Kakashi could feel it, but couldn’t quite name it right.

“You still don’t believe me, do you?”, he asked quietly.

“It’s just too fast…”, Iruka confessed. “I love the past few weeks, lunches and all, the things you do for me, the way you treat me now. I loved last night. I love your arms around me right now. But it’s still a bit odd to me. Just… give me some time to get use to it, ok?”

Kakashi hugged him tighter and kissed the top of his head, whispering: “All the time you need, Ruka…”. Iruka smiled contently, closing his eyes and leaning into the touch. For the time they both were happy to just sit in their cabin, their own little world, and melt in each other’s arms.

*

That same night Iruka cooked said yakitori while waiting for Kakashi to come by. Dinner was served and two tall candles were lit exactly before the doorbell rang and Iruka ran to open the door. Sure enough Kakashi stood there smiling, handing him a square box.

“What’s in there?”, Iruka asked.

“You’ll see later”, Kakashi winked.

They ate in the same comfortable atmosphere like in the restaurant. Iruka told Kakashi stories from his two jobs and the Copy Nin found himself really enjoying them – if he wasn’t laughing heartily, he was listening with interest. 

“How’s your food?”, Iruka asked.

“The best yakitori I’ve ever eaten!”, Kakashi grinned and it was actually true.

Iruka was by the sink, leaving the dishes and considering whether to clean them now or leave it for later. It was then when he felt two strong arms creeping around his waist, extremely gently, and soft lips ghosting by his right earlobe. Iruka tried to relax into the touch, but Kakashi must have felt how tensed he actually was, because the next thing Iruka heard was a soft whisper.

“We can just stand like this and do nothing more. Or I can let you go, if that’s what you want me to do…”

“No!”, Iruka said, quite loudly, and felt Kakashi smile against his neck.

“That’s good. Because I like to hold you too…”

Hesitantly, Iruka leaned a bit into Kakashi’s embrace. He realized Kakashi was rocking them slightly, as if to calm a child, and smiled to himself.

“We can… ”, Iruka cleared his throat, “We can sit on the couch…?”

Not saying a word, Kakashi led them there and slowly lowered them both until he sat with Iruka on his lap. Again, he felt the brunette’s tension. Again, he misunderstood it.

“You can sit next to me if  you…”

“What about that pleasing you asked about this morning?”, Iruka all but whispered.

Kakashi smiled softly, eyes glued to Iruka’s, searching  for a reaction.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”, he asked.

Iruka only nodded.

“Iruka, you don’t need to…”, Kakashi started again.

“I want to… just… be gen… I mean…like the last time?”, Iruka was bright red by now.

Kakashi smiled again, something was swelling pleasantly in his chest, while he was watching his shy Iruka turning redder with shame. He leaned forward and pressed an extremely gentle kiss on Iruka’s forehead. It was Kakashi’s turn to whisper in Iruka’s ear: “Always, love.”

He heard the sharp intake of breath from Iruka and smiled again. He looked him in the eyes.

“How about we go to the bedroom then?”

Again, Kakashi felt Iruka’s hesitance, as memories from before flooded his mind. Kakashi swallowed dryly.

“May be… my place?”, he suggested.

“I… no, it’s ok, Kakashi… I’ll be fine.”

“Are…”

“Yes, I’m sure. After all”, Iruka finally smiled, “our real first time was here too…”

They smiled to each other again, then Kakashi lifted Iruka as if his weight was nothing and moved them to the bedroom.

As Iruka was gently laid on the soft cotton sheets, he remembered another ones, made of black satin. Inwardly he smiled wider, but his expression changed to frowning as Kakashi went straight to his pants. “What, no foreplay?”, Iruka thought, a bit bitterly, but as his pants and boxers were slid down and Kakashi didn’t ask for lube, nor did his fingers try to penetrate him, Iruka finally got it. His eyes went wide again, just as Kakashi’s tongue flicked out and licked the head of Iruka’s already painfully hard shaft.

“Kakashi…”, he moaned, receiving a considering look from his lover. Seeing Iruka panting with obvious pleasure only made Kakashi smile around his member. He swallowed him deeper.

“A-ah!”, Iruka’s hands grabbed the sheets in a deadly grip.

Kakashi’s tongue traced the underside of his lover’s cock, massaging it; his lips tightened their grip around the thick shaft and he sucked harder.

“Oooooh, Kamiiiiii…..”, Iruka wasn’t even aware he was moaning, and that loud!

Kakashi laughed, still not letting go of Iruka, and the vibrations sent a wave of indescribable pleasure through Iruka.

“Don’t stop….! Don’t stop!!! Just… a little…”, again Iruka had no idea he was begging.

Kakashi deep throated him, the head of Iruka’s member hitting the back of the Copy Nin’s throat.

“AAAaAAaAHHHHH!!!!!!”, the loudest scream Iruka had ever let reached his own ears this time as he came violently in Kakashi’s mouth. He vaguely heard the noise of cotton sheets tearing as his grip became more than they could handle, just as Kakashi’s ministrations were more than Iruka could handle. He emptied himself, and Kakashi swallowed it all, to the last drop, only then letting Iruka off his mouth. He looked up to his lover.

Eyes tightly shut, mouth open and gasping for air, Iruka was shaking violently in his powerful after glow. Kakashi smiled.

“Ruka~”, he sang.

“Y-yeah?”, came shakily.

“Are you ok, love?”, Kakashi teased.

“Oh, YEAH!”, Iruka nodded enthusiastically and Kakashi laughed proudly.

Iruka took another deep breath and opened his eyes to look at Kakashi.

“You… can go on now…?”, he said hesitantly. Kakashi frowned.

“Go on with what?”

“Well… with you. I-I mean you didn’t…”

“Iruka, are you sated?”, Kakashi asked with his most serious tone.

“Well I, yeah, but…”

“Does your body need anything more right now?”

“Well no, but…”

“Then I’m ok.”, Kakashi smiled warmly.

“…Kakashi…”, Iruka whispered, his fingers tracing Kakashi’s cheek lovingly as Iruka was finally smiling a true, tired but satisfied, smile. He pulled Kakashi closer and snuggled to him and Kakashi couldn’t be happier to just hold him. Just as Iruka started to drift off, Kakashi whispered:

“Iruka?”

“Hmm?”, he asked, head buried in Kakashi’s chest.

“Are you sure you’re completely sated?”

Iruka tensed a bit. “I knew it…”, he thought, stifling a sigh, thinking how to answer. Before he could say anything however, Kakashi continued, saying the magic words to make the night just perfect.

“Cause, you know, that box…? It’s a chocolate cake…”, Kakashi said and the smirk could literally be heard in his voice.

Iruka leaped from the bed, flying to the kitchen, barely hearing Kakashi’s loud laughter. Iruka opened the box and grinned happily – a huge, no nuts at all, chocolate cake! He felt guilty for doubting Kakashi… The man had blown him, making him experience one hell of an orgasm, and bought him a cake! Of CHOCOLATE! Iruka paddled back to the bedroom, with an extremely smug Kakashi there, and leaped back on the bed to kiss his lover passionately.

“I love you…”, he finally said.

Kakashi smiled, their foreheads resting against each other. “Took you some time, but I’m glad I’ve finally deserved your love… my Ruka.”

They stayed like that for a while, then Kakashi moved back to stare at his lover, grinning.

“You know, if chocolate cakes could make you this happy, I’ll buy you one each day!”

They both laughed, but then Iruka slapped him lightly on the shoulder.

“It’s the gesture, stupid. It’s in all that you do for me…”, he simply said.

Kakashi only hugged him tighter. “Always. Anything. For you.”, he whispered.

 

Chapter 13 – Chocolates from the Mist

Iruka was marching through the hospital hallways, stressed and worried. Ah, he had woken up so happy this morning….

It had been three weeks since their “first real time” and the night after that, when Kakashi had treated Iruka with a blowjob and a chocolate cake! (:D :D ) Since then Kakashi had pretty much kept his promise to buy Iruka chocolate cakes since they made him happy. Finally Iruka had to tell him to stop.

“I’ll gain weight and you won’t find me attractive anymore”, he had teased.

“Not gonna happen. Me not finding you attractive, I mean”, Kakashi said, but he agreed to limit the cakes to one per week.

Kakashi had also continued worshiping Iruka’s body, giving him unbelievable pleasure and not wanting anything for himself. Iruka had to insist that they both enjoy it and not only him receiving pleasure.

“I just wanted … to repay you for… before…”, Kakashi had muttered, eyes averted to the floor.

“We agreed it was a past we won’t discuss anymore. Forgive and forget.”, Iruka reminded softly.

“I’m trying. And I love you so much for managing to forgive me… to actually and really love me after all…”

“I do. It’s partly because I see you love me too now.”, Iruka smiled.

That night, they had had one of their most amazing times…

Iruka reached the reception and asked, almost demandingly: “Hatake Kakashi, please!”

Kakashi had gone to a mission five days ago. He had gone to tell Iruka he was leaving for a couple of days, assuring him everything was gonna be alright. He had kissed him by the door, then smiled and winked, promising: “I’ll buy you chocolates from the Land of Mist!”

So, that morning Iruka had woken up, thinking it was about time that Kakashi comes back, and went to take a shower. He had just exited the bathroom when the doorbell rang and a slightly breathless Raido told him Kakashi was at the hospital and asking for him. Needless to say, Iruka flew to said hospital.

Now, the nurse told him witch room Kakashi was in and Iruka ran in that direction. He stopped however before the door, took a deep shaky breath and opened it slightly.

The sight that greeted him was both breathtaking and heart clenching.

Kakashi, still with his mask on though, was sleeping peacefully. His forehead, the whole left arm and most of his chest were bandaged, he had scars and bruises all over his body. Iruka took yet another deep breath, swallowing a gasp and maybe a few tears. However, even a deep breath was enough of an alarm for an (ex?)- ANBU and Kakashi opened his eyes. His expression softened, he lowered his mask and smiled, his eyes drifting closed again.

“Ruka…”, he whispered calmly.

Iruka forced a fake smile, walking to Kakashi’s bed and sitting on the chair, his hands reaching for Kakashi’s good arm to hold his hand.

“Hey…”, he said, voice failing him. Kakashi forced his eyes open.

“Damn… I’m making you cry again…”, he said.

Iruka noticed the single tear that had escaped his left eye and was trailing down his cheek. He brushed it off and tried to smile again.

“What happened?”, he asked.

“Explosive tags. New guys, just made chunin, first serious mission. Excited. Not paying enough attention... Had to save them….”

Iruka couldn’t hold back the sob. Kakashi frowned.

“Ruka…”

Iruka jumped him. Literally. He hugged him tight, head buried in Kakashi’s chest, he almost whined: “Oh, Kakashi….!”

“Ru-… Hurts…”, Kakashi only managed.

Iruka jumped back, shocked.

“OH, DEAR KAMI, I’M SO SORRY!!!!”, he almost screamed, eyes wide and terrified. It was Kakashi’s turn to force the smile.

“It’s ok, Ruka, it’s not that bad. Promise.”, he smiled more naturally then. “Actually you can come lie next to me, just… don’t jump on me for a few more days, ok?”, he winked.

Iruka snorted, ashamed at himself, angry with Kakashi being a pervert even in a hospital and totally overwhelmed with the emotions swelling inside himself. Sure he knew he was in love with that man, he just now learnt how insanely strong that feeling actually was.

He crawled next to Kakashi,  moving very tentatively, until his head rested in the crook of Kakashi’s good arm and his own arm was rested lightly on Kakashi’s bandaged chest.

“By the way, Ruka…”

“Hmmm…”

“I did get you chocolates from the Land of Mist.”

Iruka chuckled.

“Seriously, I did! I even saved them in the attack! They’re in the top drawer beside the bed…”

“I have everything I want in my hands right now.”, Iruka simply said. He felt Kakashi tensing for a moment, then he relaxed. Iruka was sure they were both smiling.

 

Chapter 14 – A Vulnerable Copy Nin

Iruka was nervous. Expecting.

When he had first visited Kakashi at the hospital, after they had snuggled close to each other and just lay quiet for some time, Kakashi had said with a serious tone:

“Ruka… I’ve been thinking something for some time. After they release me from the hospital there would be something I am going to ask you.”

“What is it, Kakashi?”, Iruka had asked, alarmed.

“I… Ruka, I plan this relationship to be of equal rights.”

“Ka-…”

“After I get out of this place… I am going to ask you to make me yours… the way I officially made you mine.”

Iruka had paled, then turned violently red, he had choked and his heart had skipped a few beats. Kakashi had chuckled.

“Now, now, Ruka… It’s true we’re at the hospital but don’t give yourself a heart attack…”

“I…It’s just… we’ll talk again after you’re discharged.”, Iruka had stuttered.

Now, Kakashi had been discharged two days ago, and told, no ordered to rest by the Hokage herself. She, of course, didn’t specify where Kakashi should rest. Iruka was the one insisting Kakashi rests in Iruka’s home, so Iruka could keep an eye on him. At first Tsunade had stared, eyes narrowed, at Kakashi, but then she slowly smiled.

“So, it’s true then. The rumors. You’ve changed… both of you.”

They had just smiled and walked off… Iruka’s hand holding Kakashi’s. After all, they had no one to hide from from now on.

The first night had been memorable, though nothing sexual happened. It was just that until then Kakashi had come by, had dinner, pleasured Iruka (or Iruka insisted they made love, so Kakashi could receive some pleasure as well) and returned to his place to spend the night. Strange as it was, they had never, not even since they had gotten officially and really together, spent the whole night in each other’s embrace, in the same bed. Sure they had snuggled a bit after sex, but after a while, usually after Iruka drifted off, Kakashi stood and walked off. It wasn’t like before, when Kakashi’s leaving meant leaving Iruka alone and hurt, now it was just that Kakashi didn’t feel like he had the right to spend the night next to that amazing creature his lover was.

 And even now, sometimes Iruka still felt insecure trusting Kakashi – it was as if his soul wanted to trust the Copy Nin, his heart knew now how amazingly gentle Kakashi could be, now that he knew it was what Iruka needed, and he always put Iruka’s needs before his own now, but… But Iruka’s body had a mind of its own and it would flinch away every time Kakashi’s hands would touch it without Iruka’s eyes seeing the movement and ordering his mind to order his body to relax into the touch. It wasn’t like Iruka could control it, his body. Sometimes, the past just reminded of itself.

So, by an unspoken agreement and each with his own reasons, they did what they did and slept apart.

Until two days ago, that is.

After Kakashi had been discharged, they had stepped into Iruka’s apartment, Iruka gently helping Kakashi ease down on the couch. They had spent most of their day there, only getting up to eat something, then going back to snuggle on the couch. They had just stood in comfortable silence or talked quietly of nothing important. When night had fallen, and after watching a movie still embracing each other, Iruka had stood up, kind of awkwardly, and cleared his throat.

“So… would you like to sleep now?”

“Uh, yes.”, Kakashi had stood up from the couch, with Iruka’s help. “You can just bring me some sheets for the couch. I’ll handle it, you don’t need to make it  up for me…”

“I was thinking…”, Iruka had blushed, but he had taken a deep breath and managed to look Kakashi in the eyes. “Sleep with me, Kakashi. This time, as in sleep”, he had smiled lopsidedly.

Kakashi had stood dumbfounded for a moment. “You don’t have to, the couch is perfectly fi…”

“I want to, Kakashi”, Iruka had said tiredly. He was getting tired of having to convince Kakashi every time that he did things on his own free will and Kakashi wasn’t pushing him. Iruka understood Kakashi’s motives for asking that and Kakashi’s need to be reassured he wasn’t doing anything wrong (again), but Iruka was getting just… tired of all that. “Look, after all we’ve done it’s only natural to start spending the night together. Every night. And yes, it is what I want, just being next to you, even knowing there would be no sex…”

“No sex? You mean just this night or…”

“I mean till you’re healed, stupid!”, Iruka had sighed, then smiled lopsidedly again. “After that I guess we’ll still keep sleeping in the same bed all night, but after certain activities. And yes, we’ll make up for the time you were wrapped in bandages. It two words, I promise there will be more than enough, more than willing sex in this bed as long as you promise that sometimes you’ll just hold me and do nothing more.”

Kakashi had blinked stupidly a few times, then he had hugged Iruka as tightly as his wounds would allow and said: “For as long as you want me, Ruka. My Ruka….”

That was two days ago. They had spent the nights together as they promised, just holding each other. It was something Kakashi had said the night before that got Iruka nervously pacing around his apartment now.

“You know, Ruka… My wounds are healed already. Tomorrow Tsunade sama’s gonna remove the bandages. And… you… when we were at the hospital I told you I’d ask something from you. I will, tomorrow. And I’m telling you now so you can make up your mind. You know I’ll never push you. But it really is what I want, Iruka. I just wanted you to know that before you decide…”

As he was caught in deep thoughts, he didn’t hear the door opening, nor did he hear the footsteps (for once not trying to be quiet). As far as Iruka knew, he was suddenly wrapped in a tight, yet gentle embrace and a voice whispered in his ear:

“Hello, beautiful…”

That had been another shock for Iruka, hearing Kakashi talking lovingly like that. It wasn’t until they met a few times in the Mission office or Hokage Tower that Iruka took a note that Kakashi was talking like that only when they were alone and in a private place. He would never humiliate Iruka’s male pride in front of other people. Realizing that made Iruka smile.

Now, he smiled again and made his body lean into the touch, trying desperately to hide his nervousness, born from his previous thoughts.

“Hey….”, Iruka whispered, not even realizing how lovingly his own voice sounded now. Iruka’s hand caressed Kakashi’s arm only to feel bare skin and he gasped: “Your bandages are gone….”

“Yeah, Tsunade sama just took them off.”

“Oh…”

So, tonight was the night….

Iruka tensed. Being so close to him, Kakashi, of course, felt that.

“Ruka? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, why…?”

Kakashi waited in silence for a few seconds, then said softly:

“Talk to me… We said… We agreed… Please talk to me.”

Iruka closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and said quickly: “I’m nervous.”

“Why?”, was the simple question.

“You… well, you said… you were gonna ask me after your wounds…”

“It doesn’t have to be tonight…”

“Oh…”

“You… don’t have to… I mean, if you don’t wanna…”

Iruka turned in his arms only to stare unbelievingly in him.

“Are you insane? Look at you! You’re a sex incarnation! How can I not want you?”

Unbelievable as it was, Kakashi actually blushed from the compliment. “Then…?”

“I… I’ve done it with girls as a teenager, but… Not only it had been a while, but… you were my first male experience… And I’ve only ever bottomed. I’ve never been a seme.”

“Well, I’ve never bottomed.”, Kakashi confessed. Iruka’s eyes widened.

“And…You want me of all people to…?”

Kakashi shook his head, smiling. “No, Iruka. I want no one else but you. I’d do this with you and you only.”

Iruka gulped audibly. Kakashi laughed softly. “Uhm… I guess that didn’t help with your nervousness, huh?”

Iruka shook his head violently. Kakashi smiled and only kissed his brow.

“May be some other time then…”, he said softly and then turned to walk from the kitchen.

Iruka’s hand shot and wrapped itself around Kakashi’s. Kakashi turned around again to look at his lover’s eyes. Iruka’s eyes were serious, still showing nervousness, but also some kind of determination.

“Let’s… let’s try tonight.”

“Are you…”

“Stop asking me that!”, and Iruka efficiently silenced his lover with a passionate kiss.

Next thing they knew – they were tumbling toward the bedroom, hitting different objects in their way there, hurrying to be there faster. Kakashi was literally thrown on the bed, which caused a wicked grin on his face.

“That’s it, Ruka, show me how wild you are!”

“Be careful what you wish for…”, Iruka growled and bit Kakashi’s neck harshly.

Kakashi yelped and his hips shot upwards. Iruka’s lips continued to leave open mouthed kisses on his neck, while his hands crept under Kakashi’s shirt and slowly, oh so slowly moved to his nipples with the slightest of touches. Kakashi sighed, but that was all he could afford himself to show his contentment.

That… was not enough for Iruka!

He kept circling Kakashi’s nipples, not leaving his neck, but not applying more strength to the touches.  Finally, Kakashi growled and tried to take off his shirt, but Iruka didn’t move to give him space.

“Off, take it off…!”, Kakashi demanded breathlessly. Iruka grinned, then happily complied, taking a long lustful look at Kakashi’s toned body, chest heaving with Kakashi’s labored breathing. Mesmerized, Iruka slid a hand over the warm, smooth skin, tracing a few scars over the hard muscles. Kakashi closed his eyes again. Iruka decided to take advantage of that – he dove down and sucked Kakashi’s right nipple. Kakashi’s hand flew to cover his mouth, so only a stifled “Mhhg!!!”, came between locked lips.

“You like that…””, Iruka mumbled around the nub.

Kakashi nodded, his other hand gripping the sheets.

“What else?”, Iruka asked. Kakashi tried to glare, hand still covering his mouth, but the look was more like pleading than menacing. “Talk to me, Kakashi…”, Iruka teased, knowing perfectly well Kakashi was in no condition to speak even if he allowed himself to beg. Iruka’s hand slowly lowered itself to Kakashi’s crotch and he traced his fingers over the evident bulge there, which only got bigger under his ministrations. Having no more control over his body, but managing to silence himself, Kakashi was tossing quietly on the sheets.

Again, Iruka needed more. He needed some noise. His hand squeezed the still cloth covered hot flesh between Kakashi’s legs.

Kakashi moaned quietly. Finally, a sound escaped unwilling lips.

“M…”, it sounded as if the Copy Nin was both trying to say something and to make himself shut up. Iruka grinned.

“More?”, he asked nicely. Kakashi nodded vigorously, his hips shooting up. Iruka grinned. Who would have thought being in control was soooo good?! Iruka was starting to like it. He squeezed again and Kakashi almost choked trying not to scream.

“I want to hear you…”, Iruka murmured, leaning his whole body down to Kakashi’s until their members, though still clothed, were pressed together. Breath severely hitched, Kakashi shook his head.

“No?”, Iruka growled, unhappy with Kakashi’s answer. “I. Will. Make you. Scream.”, he promised between open mouthed kisses, which were slowly going down Kakashi’s abs. He dipped his tongue in Kakashi’s belly button, then swirled it, delighted in Kakashi’s shivering. Iruka’s smile melted on Kakashi’s skin before his teeth grazed the tiny path of silver hair, leading to Kakashi’s very tented pants. Kakashi’s body seemed to be convulsing.

Iruka’s own slightly trembling hands shook a little while he fought with Kakashi’s belt, before finally succeeding to get rid of the offending thing! Slowly lowering Kakashi’s trousers was a torture for Iruka as well, since all he wanted right then was ripping off all of Kakashi’s clothes at once and pounding into that tight ass. He would do nothing of that though. Control was a two sided thing.

Finally, Kakashi laid before him in only his boxers, looking… eatable. Well, not only that. He himself looked… annoyed?

“What is it?”, Iruka asked, brows furrowed.

Kakashi had to gulp and clear his throat before answering with a very husky voice: “Your clothes… off… now!”

If they hadn’t had their dark story, Iruka would have teased him with a sarcastic “Yes, master!”, but he knew Kakashi would tense if he said that, so he didn’t. Instead, he simply complied. Soon he stood before Kakashi’s burning gaze, bare naked and trying not to blush. He got the lube from the top drawer beside the bed and climbed back on the bed. Then he looked at Kakashi.

“I have to ask. Are you sure?”

“Yes.”, Kakashi asked determinately.

Iruka slowly removed Kakashi’s last piece of clothing and couldn’t help but stare. He was pretty gifted himself, but seeing Kakashi’s length always made his mouth watering.

“Come on, Ruka…”, Kakashi hurried.

Iruka shook his head to come out of his trance and quickly lubed three of his fingers. Before he did anything with them though, he lowered himself and slowly licked Kakashi’s member from base to top. Only then his fingers started tracing Kakashi’s entrance, not really entering yet.

His right hand back on his mouth, Kakashi’s left hand clutched the sheets in a deathly grip, his lids trembling, but trying to keep watching Iruka. Again, he fought to make no sound.

Iruka’s first finger started slowly entering Kakashi, while Iruka’s mouth engulfed his lover’s leaking member.

“Mmmmmhhhhh!!!!”, an incoherent sound escaped Kakashi. Iruka stopped.

“Does it hurt too much?”, he asked. Kakashi shook his head, his eyes silently pleading for more.

A second finger joined the first and Kakashi flinched slightly. Iruka didn’t stop, didn’t ask, just made sure to be extremely gentle.

“Ok, Kashi, that’s the last one, stay with me…”

The third finger was in and hearing Kakashi’s sharp intake of breath, Iruka stopped moving for a minute. A slight nod was his only “go ahead” sign. He moved his fingers a bit more before he decided it was enough for both of them.

“Are you ready, Kakashi? You can still tell me stop…”

“Do it, do it nowww….”, Kakashi whined, before turning red and moving his hand over his mouth again. Iruka smiled knowingly.

“Now look into my eyes, Kashi. Take a deep breath and just look at me.”

Kakashi complied and his eyes widened when Iruka started entering him, slowly and extremely gently. His breath hitched and tears appeared in his eyes, so he averted his gaze towards the ceiling to keep from actually shedding those tears. His hand moved from his mouth only for a long line of curses to flow.

“Fuck… damn it!...Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!...”

“I know”, Iruka smiled apologetically.

“I…I…”

“I’ll wait, take your time.”

“No, move…”

“I won’t, you’re still in pain…”

“I want to feel it…I want to feel the way you felt…”

“Kashi, no…. no, love, no…”, Iruka shook his head, tears appearing in his eyes as well.

“Please, Ruka…. I need it… Just this time, I promise…”

“No…”

“I need it… Just a few moves, do it hard…”

Iruka’s face twisted in pain and a few tears actually rolled down the mask of hurt before he thrust hard and Kakashi couldn’t hold the scream.

“Is this what you want? ! Is this how you want to feel, huh? ! You like it this way ? !”, Iruka growled. Anger, anger he couldn’t explain, rose in him.

Kakashi’s whole world was shattered. All of his S-rank missions couldn’t prepare a warrior to be violated like this, in an act that was supposed to be so intimate, by the one he loved. Pain, all kinds of pain he had felt so far, was nothing compared to this. This was how Iruka had felt then. This was how Kakashi was feeling now and he felt another sharp stab of self hatred to have ever done something like what he himself was feeling now to another human being. To the one he loved…

It wasn’t before Iruka heard the muffled sobs that he realized Kakashi was crying. Kakashi. Was crying.

Iruka froze. It was quiet for a minute, only Kakashi’s strangled sobs could be heard. Then Iruka whispered softly: “I’m sorry…”

“N-No, I wanted it…”, Kakashi said, his voice broken.

“I’m sorry, I told you, I… I should have never listened… your first time…”

“Exactly… That’s why I wanted to… I needed to… for myself to… understand what you… to hate myself less… kinda”

“Shhh, I understand, I’m sorry…”

“Don’t, don’t ever…”

Silence again.

“Kakashi… would you let me try to make you feel good? Please, I’m begging you! It’s what I need…”

Kakashi only nodded. Not breaking the eyes contact Iruka slowly withdrew, then moved back forward, even slower, extremely gently now. He knew Kakashi was still in pain from before. Damn, now it would be even harder to make him feel good, if that was even possible after…

He moaned. Kakashi moaned. Quietly, almost shyly; and his cheeks turned pink. Iruka’s heart jumped. May be there was a chance after all…

“Talk to me. How do you feel?”, Iruka asked. Kakashi gulped, eyes on the ceiling again, as if searching for the right words there.

“V-Vulnerable…. Defenseless…”, he murmured.

“Yes… What else?”, Iruka asked, voice a bit more strained now, still keeping the slow pace.

“Weak… I-I n..need you… This way… s-sl-low…ly”

“I’m here… Like this…”, he promised, not taking his eyes off Kakashi.

“Stay with me!”

“I will, Kashi, I’m here, I’m here…”

“I…I… OH!”, Kakashi tensed, his eyes widening and body arching.

“Thank Kami sama!”, Iruka thought, knowing he had hit the right place and once again hoping he could bring Kakashi to a climax.

“It’s ok, Kashi, let it go…”, Iruka calmed him.

Kakashi moaned, clinging to Iruka, trying to stifle his cries in Iruka’s shoulder.

“Let it go, Kashi…”, Iruka encouraged.

Kakashi shook his head. He couldn’t. All his years as a shinobi, as a jounin, as an ANBU… “Keep quiet, always keep quiet! Stay emotionless, stay cool…”

He couldn’t. Emotions were flooding his mind and soul, written on his face – surprised, scared, not knowing what was happening to his –always in control- body…

“It’s ok… We’re connecting, it’s ok to be shocked, let it out, Kashi…”, Iruka murmured, tanned fingers wrapping around Kakashi’s throbbing and leaking member.

He shook his head again, lips tightly shut. It was too much. Too much sensations, too much for his body to feel, too much for his soul to endure. Too much pleasure. Hot. Weak. Too good. Iruka… Iruka… His Iruka…. Iruka’s Kakashi…

And suddenly – too much of the too much. His eyes opened wide, looking almost scared, he gasped loudly.

“Let it go, let it out…”, Iruka’s own voice was strained, mere seconds from climax.

“Aaaaahhh!!! Ruka!!!!”

“Yes…”, came out brokenly, Iruka’s body shaking as well “I’m here for you… Here with you…”

Iruka helped Kakashi ride out his powerful orgasm, then collapsed on top of him, completely spent. For a time, all they could do was panting heavily.

When Iruka tried to pull out, two strong arms shot quickly to hold him still. Iruka stared in Kakashi’s wide, scared eyes and he immediately understood.

“It’s ok, I’m not leaving. Just have to move so you can feel more comfortable.”

Kakashi was still reluctant to let go. Iruka smiled softly.

“I’ll show you something you’ll like and don’t even know you need right now.”, he promised.

Slowly, Kakashi untangled his arms and legs. Iruka pulled out gently, then laid on his back and pulled Kakashi in a loving hug. Surprised in the beginning, the Copy Nin clung  desperately to him.

“Oh…”, he sighed, half surprised at how good it felt and how content with the new position he was.

Cuddling. Hatake Kakashi found out he liked, no – needed cuddling after bottoming for the first time in his life, for the only one he had ever truly loved.

“You like that”, Iruka smiled.

It wasn’t a question, but Kakashi said “Yes” either way.

“Would you let me take care of your body now?”

Kakashi nodded.

“I will have to get up though, but I won’t be long, I promise”

Reluctantly again, Kakashi forced himself to let Iruka go, only to see him going to the bathroom. True to himself, Iruka didn’t take long. He came back, smiling, and not saying anything, just bent down and lifted Kakashi bridal style, not even trying to cover his laugh when Kakashi yelped, surprised, and clung to him.

“I got you, Kakashi…”, Iruka whispered, before slowly lowering them both in the full bathtub. He arranged their bodies the way that Kakashi’s back was flush to Iruka’s front so the Copy Nin only had to relax and lean back.

“Mmmmhhhh….”, Kakashi murmured.

“Does it feel good?”, Iruka asked, smiling.

“Everything.”, Kakashi simply said, snuggling closer to Iruka and slowly drifting off.

 

Chapter 15 – A uke thing

Kakashi opened his eyes slowly and tried to remember where he was. Not his place. Not the hospital. But his body felt pretty beaten. Had he come back from a mission? No…

He blinked again to clear his view. He knew that place. Iruka’s place.

It all came back to him, vivid memories flooding his mind and bringing back all the emotions. He had bottomed for Iruka. There was pain. There was … pain, violated, enough of that, pleasure then, vulnerable, weak, loved, here for you, gentle, cherished, and then …. No words could describe… the end… oh, Kami sama, the pleasure!... Then… warm, embraced, loved, snuggled, safe, bath, water, safe, loved… Too much…

 He looked around himself. No Iruka.

“Oh, Kami sama, NO!”, Kakashi jumped in bed, terrified. He couldn’t… not after that night… “Please, God, just, please, don’t let Iruka leave me alone… like I did…no…”

“Heeeyy…. It’s ok, it’s ok, don’t panic, I’m here!”, Iruka emerged through the door leading to the kitchen, fully dressed, and quickly jumped back on the bed, pulling Kakashi in a tight, but extremely loving hug. Kakashi clung to him desperately. Ah, safe again… Protected…

Wait. He was Hatake Kakashi, the damn Copy Nin, damn it! He didn’t need to be protected!

Yet, he felt soooo good in Iruka’s embrace. So warm. So in the right place. So… home.

What had happened to him?

He cleared his throat.

“I thought…”

“I know, I’m sorry… I thought I could prepare breakfast before you’ve woken up, so I could be here for you when you open your eyes. Sorry, I didn’t wanted you to panic…”

“I… why do I…?”

“I’ll explain later”, Iruka kissed the top of his head and the messed silver hair. “Come, let’s eat.”

Kakashi nodded, then made a move, as every other morning, to stand up quickly.

“Kakashi don’t….!”

Too late. Kakashi froze from the pain, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Iruka cleared his throat and went to help him, cheeks pink and eyes not looking at Kakashi’s.

“You… You stand up, move and walk carefully… the morning after…”, he explained, then cleared his throat again. “S-Sorry…”

“It’s ok…”, Kakashi all but breathed out. “I just didn’t… know that… OMG!”, he yelped with the first step. “Do you… every time… ? !”, Kakashi asked terrified. Iruka smiled.

“No, not every time. You… get used to it after time. And… you’ve been really gentle lately…”

“Oh…”

Iruka helped Kakashi reach the table and they ate in comfortable silence. After that Iruka helped Kakashi to the couch, then he himself sat on the floor, back to the couch, a pile of tests for grading on the low table before him. Iruka sighed and started working.

“It’s Saturday.”, Kakashi pointed out.

“Yeah, well, they won’t grade themselves.”, Iruka answered.

Silence. Something swelled in Kakashi’s belly and he felt hot. He fidgeted uncomfortably. His eyes moved back on Iruka’s back. He didn’t know what he needed, but he knew Iruka knew. He hesitated. Damn it, he felt like a cat in heat! Trying not snort or blush madly at that thought, he finally gave up and moved to the floor, next to Iruka, wincing from the slight pain. Iruka smiled to him, eyes still on the tests, not really paying attention to his efforts. Damn… Kakashi moved closer. No reaction. Closer, now rubbing himself in Iruka’s side. A look – finally. Iruka rose an eyebrow, asking. Kakashi could feel heat rising to his face and he knew he was bright red. He averted his eyes, but moved them back on Iruka when he heard the slight gasp.

“Oh…”

Kakashi lifted his head. Iruka was smiling softly, with pure love and understanding.

“You need a hug?”, he asked.

Kakashi nodded, ashamed. Iruka’s smile widened.

“From now on, you’ll tell me straight on when you need something that simple, ok?”

Another nod. Iruka left his work, stood up, lifted Kakashi from the floor and moved them on the couch, where he hugged him in a way, that left Kakashi snuggling like a child, feeling warm and protected again, absolutely comfortable. Kakashi sighed in contentment.

“Ruka… What’s happening to me? I mean, just now…”

“It’s a… kinda… uke thing. It’s natural.”, he answered.

“So you too…”

Iruka was glad Kakashi couldn’t see his blushing face, but that also meant he couldn’t see him if he nodded, so he had to say a shaky “Yes.”

“Oh… I’ll know from now on…”

Iruka’s embrace only tightened and turned even more loving if that was even possible.

 

Chapter 16 - Adjusting and Trusting

So, by an unspoken agreement, Kakashi stayed to live with Iruka, in the teacher’s  apartment. That was when he wasn’t on missions, that is.

They had been together, for real, for a bit over a month now. It had been nearly a week after Kakashi’s first time bottoming and they did it one more time with Kakashi on the bottom, two with Iruka being the uke and everything else was cuddling and eventual blowjobs (Kakashi taking care of Iruka). Kakashi would have never believed it he would like cuddling of all things, and that much!

That, however, didn’t prevent what happened that morning to actually happen.

Only a month and they moved across Iruka’s kitchen as if they had done it for years, their sync almost perfect. Well… almost.

Kakashi was frying something in a pan and Iruka wandered sleepily around him. He then tried to reach the coffee jar above Kakashi’s head and his hand slipped. Kakashi’s hand shot upward, with a speed suitable for an ANBU. It wasn’t before he had the jar actually in his hand that he looked down to see Iruka and his heart sank.

Iruka was in a self-defending pose, only not because of the jar. His arms weren’t above his head as to prevent the jar to hit his head, but in front of his body… as if preventing Kakashi to hit him. He hadn’t even realized the jar was going to fall, he had only seen Kakashi’s hand shooting forward. And he had misunderstood the gesture…

Iruka stared at Kakashi’s hand holding the jar, then in the mismatched, hurt eyes.

“Oh… Kashi… I’m sorry…”

“What for?”, Kakashi asked, voice sounding hollow. “Your body just moved to defend itself.”

“I-I didn’t saw the jar…”

“So you decided I was gonna hit you?”, Kakashi’s eyes accused.

“I’ve never hit you, Ruka, even in my worst moments. I never will.”, Kakashi voiced out. “I thought I told you, I was acting before, and that, now, is the real me. And I’m trying… always trying to prove myself to you…”

“I know, I’m sorry…”, Iruka took a deep breath and tried to explain. “Look, Kashi… So far, my soul trusts you without hesitation. It’s my body that still hesitates sometimes and I cannot help it. It just needs some more time to adjust I think… Please, give me that time.”

Kakashi sighed, averting his eyes, successfully avoiding Iruka as he saw the burning concoction in the frying pan. He turned the stove off.

“I’m gonna pick up something from Ichiraku’s. Be right back…”

Iruka only nodded before he heard the door closing. He crashed down on a chair near the table and cursed silently at himself.

Kakashi didn’t dwell on it any longer and was surprised to realize his mind was strangely blank on that matter, the scene only a few moments ago leaving him in a stage of a nearly stupor. The only thing he realized he felt was an uneasy feeling in his chest. He just kept walking back to Iruka’s apartment, Ichiraku’s bags in hands, not thinking and trying not to feel as well.

When Kakashi got home Iruka was just hanging up the phone, looking terrified.

“What?”, Kakashi immediately asked, alarmed.

“Izumo….”, was all Iruka managed.

Kakashi asked nothing more. He just left the bags by the door, reopened the door for Iruka to run through it and followed him silently. All the misunderstandings and uneasy feelings from the morning lay forgotten as the bags by the door.

Iruka needed him now.

Iruka was getting sick of coming into the hospital, asking at the reception for some of his loved ones. Once he was told which room Izumo was in he turned to walk hesitantly in that direction, feeling his stomach turn. He felt Kakashi’s hand creep in his own and squeezed it gratefully.

They stopped before the room, then entered quietly. Sure enough Kotetsu was sitting next to an unconscious Izumo, Izumo’s hand pressed between Kotetsu’s palms. Kotetsu looked like he’s been crying. He looked up though and was almost immediately hugged by Iruka, Kakashi only nodding and receiving a nod in return.

“They told me it was poison…”, Iruka started.

“A  nasty one. They’re doing everything they can, but… It all depends on how strong his body is to fight the drug…”

“He’ll make it, Ko, he’s a fighter…”, Iruka assured.

Silence fell in the room for a while until Kakashi cleared his throat and asked:

“Can we do something? Blood transfusion or chakra…?

Kotetsu shook his head. “We only have to wait they say. But… thanks for asking…”

They stayed an hour or so, Iruka consoling Kotetsu, then, with the promise to visit again in the morning, they left. The trip back to Iruka’s apartment was quiet and Kakashi didn’t push his lover to talk. When they got home Iruka, just as silently, set the table for dinner, served said dinner and began to eat, not looking at Kakashi. Again, Kakashi didn’t push it.

It was when Iruka took his dish to leave it in the sink when it happened. Iruka had just exited the living room when Kakashi heard a loud crash from the kitchen and leaped in that direction. What he saw almost broke his heart.

The porcelain dish was crushed to pieces on the floor, Iruka bent over it, staring blindly at the mess, his thumb bleeding, cut on one of the pieces he had tried to collect. And that blank eyes. Kakashi had seen them like that only once and it hurt to remember…

He dropped slowly to his knees in front of Iruka. He waited a second and as no reaction came from Iruka, Kakashi, even slower, reached for Iruka’s injured hand. He took it gently, not moving his eyes from Iruka’s, and lifted it to his lips. Only when he start licking the blood away he felt Iruka’s eyes coming back to life and looking at him. It was then when Iruka allowed Kakashi to see how shaken he actually was.

It was to be expected. It was what Kakashi expected from the moment they had exited the hospital room. The hospital room, where one of Iruka’s most precious people laid poisoned badly. Not only a friend, but a member of his family was in risk. It was pretty clear to Kakashi, now more than ever, how shaken Iruka should be. How shaken he was. 

Kakashi was both proud Iruka let him that close, opening himself to him, but also shaken with Iruka’s emotions, clear in his eyes now.

He slowly reached, wrapping his hands around Iruka’s forearms and lifting him gently from the floor. He maneuvered them between the scattered sharp pieces of porcelain, then lifted Iruka bridal style and walked to the bedroom. He gently laid Iruka on the bed, tugged him with the blanket and kissed him on the top of the head. Then he moved to return to the kitchen to clean the mess, but a hand shot and wrapped tightly around his own. Kakashi stared back into shining chocolate eyes.

“Stay with me…”, Iruka begged.

Kakashi nodded and crawled in the bed next to him. Iruka immediately snuggled closer to him, whispering “Hold me” and Kakashi was almost sure he could feel wetness on his chest. His hug around Iruka tightened.

“I’m here, Ruka. I’m here, love…”

 *

Iruka opened his eyes slowly, just blinking a few times and trying to actually wake up. His foggy mind registered a few things: he was in his bed, tugged in the blanket… and something else. Kakashi’s right arm laid protectively around Iruka, the Copy Nin spooning him. Something swelled pleasantly in Iruka in that very moment, a feeling only straightened by the following events.

Kakashi shifted slightly and whispered: “Are you awake?”

“Yes”, Iruka simply said, not moving away from Kakashi’s warm body.

“I made coffee and pancakes, wanted them to be ready when you wake. The food is probably still warm, I left it the oven, and I can warm up the coffee… Whenever you want go get up.”

Iruka’s breath hitched.

“T-Thank you… Kashi.”

“It’s nothing…”

A pause.

“Kakashi? Will you come to the hospital with me again?”

“Yes.”

Iruka couldn’t come up with a reply to this. He just snuggled closer to Kakashi and felt his embrace tighten in response.

*

In the hospital they were met by the happiest news – Izumo had just woken up.

“I was gonna call you, I just… as soon as I myself could believe it…”, Kotetsu explained, his eyes suspiciously shiny. Iruka’s seemed watery too.

“He’s still weak, you may not stay too long yet, but I’ll give you a few minutes.”, the medi-nin, a young friendly looking girl, smiled to them.

It was actually kinda funny, the way they crept almost stealthily into the room. Izumo smiled a little, probably thinking the same thing.

“You know, they actually said I was gonna live, so no need to step on your toes around me…”, he joked with a hoarse, weak voice.

“Heeeyyy…”, Iruka grinned widely, going to gently hug one of his best friends. He then pulled back and frowned his teacher frown: “DO NOT SCARE ME LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN!”, he warned.

“Yes, Mommy…”, Izumo rolled his eyes. “So, what did I miss?”

“Nothing much, things have been going great…”, Iruka started, but Izumo saw how Kakashi averted his gaze to the window. His whole pose got tensed as if there was something bothering him, something he couldn’t stop thinking about…

“Tetsu, love, why don’t you go get me something to drink? Grape juice from the canteen?”, he asked.

Kotetsu knew Izumo long before the man became his lover so he first saw the look Izumo gave Kakashi, then the look he himself was given. He got the idea.

“Sure thing, babe. Just don’t strain yourself… Ruka, why don’t you come with me?”

“Huh? But I…?”

“Come on, I need some company…”, Kotetsu dragged a confused Iruka out of the room.

Izumo sighed.

“Kakashi.”, he called. The Copy Nin finally looked at him. “What really happened?”

Kakashi averted his gaze again, scratching his neck and sighing. “Now’s not the time, Izumo, you should rest…”

“Tell me!”, Izumo demanded.

“Just… our stuff… relationship stuff.”, Kakashi said, putting an end to the discussion.

If only…

“Look, Kakashi, I don’t want to put my nose into personal matters. Iruka’s my family, and you’re… well, I’ve come to somehow care about you too”, Kakashi’s head shot up to stare unbelievingly at Izumo. “Yeah, right. So tell me. What’s bugging you?”

Still a bit stunned, Kakashi sat on the edge of the bed, looking through the window.

“I’ve never hit him”, he said out of the blue. “Never, even in my worst… You need to know that.”

“Okay…”, Izumo nodded, waiting to see where that statement would lead. Kakashi sighed again.

“He… Yesterday he almost knocked down a jar, I caught it midair… Iruka didn’t see that, only my hand shooting up… He made a move as to protect himself from me…Not from the jar, from me…”

Kakashi waved his hands in frustration. “I know it’s a small thing and I’m whining, and I deserve that attitude, and don’t deserve him, I know he’s trying, but I… Zumo, I don’t think he’ll ever come to trust me, fully. He’s always gonna flinch away. Always gonna be ready for me to hurt him again, like he’s expecting it. It’s like… we’re both trying, we’re both pushing it, but it just doesn’t… Is it ever gonna work, really? Is it ever gonna be easy as breathing, like they say? Or will we just keep trying and he’s never gonna relax into this relationship?.!”

Kakashi heard his own desperate sounding voice and cut off his tirade to look at his new found friend. Izumo was smiling.

“Why are you…”

“First of all you called me Zumo. No, I don’t mind, it’s just funny how you didn’t even realize that. Then, I see what you mean. It’s not a little thing, but yes, you do whine. I understand why you’re worried. I also understand now how serious you finally are towards him and that makes me happy. I trust you, Kakashi. Give him time and he will too. He just need more time. A lot more. There are things the body remembers differently from the soul. Iruka’s body will need more time than his trusting soul. Give him that time. It will work, Kakashi, though I’m not sure if the time you stop working on this relationship will ever come. You must not stop. A real relationship is a hard work, Kakashi. Be ready for this.”

Kakashi stared wide eyed, dumbfounded at him. Just then the door opened quietly and the medi-nin said: “Time’s up, Kakashi san, Izumo san needs rest.”

Kakashi stood, but his gaze didn’t leave Izumo’s, the Copy Nin’s only visible eye full of hope.

“Do you really think all that, Izumo?”

Izumo smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I do. Patience, Kakashi. It will work. Just… give him time. And be there for him.”

“I will.”

“Kakashi san…”, the medi-nin reminded.

“Yeah, I’m coming…”, he turned again, by the door. “Thank you, Izumo. I… really needed that.”

Izumo only smiled before Kakashi closed the door and let him sleep.

 

Chapter 17 – Feel Good

Was it just that he needed to talk to a friend and get comforted? Or was it that their relationship really had begun to slowly evolve and become stronger and comfortable for both of them, slowly but surely? Kakashi didn’t know. He only knew there were some of those days, and a lot more recently, when he saw Iruka being just… happy. Oh… Kakashi lived for these moments.

That morning he opened the door to Iruka’s apartment, now their apartment, bringing in bags with groceries. He heard the music but only stopped dumbfounded but what he saw.

(A.N. SUGGESTED music – Gorillaz – Feel Good Inc.)

Iruka was by the table, his back against Kakashi, mixing ingredients in a  deep pot… dressed in a white tank and Kakashi’s oldest baggy boxers,  covering just below his ass… an ass that was swaying left and right with the music. And just to make things cuter, Iruka was singing with the audio system. Only Iruka could manage to look masculine while cooking, swaying his hips and singing.

Kakashi dropped the bags somewhere, anywhere, and moved slowly to his Ruka. When he was close enough, he gently put his hands around Iruka’s waist from behind. Iruka jumped and Kakashi’s hands were gone this instant, his face turning sad… Iruka’s own hands shot back and put back Kakashi’s arms around his waist. He leaned closer to Kakashi, eyes closed, a dreamy smile on his face, hips still swaying with the music.

“You just startled me, Kashi love… I didn’t hear you from the music and my body doesn’t react on your chakra anymore… I thought  we agreed no sneaking on each other?”

Kakashi leaned closer to Iruka’s neck and sniffed, whispering in his ear. “Please say it again…”

Iruka didn’t ask what to say again. He knew. He just smiled again, whispering “Kashi love…”

They were both swaying slightly now.

“What are you doing?”, Kakashi nodded slightly to the table.

“Banana  pie, Izumo loves it. They’re letting him out today.”

“Ah, I didn’t know… So that’s why you’re so happy.”

“Weeell… not only…”, Iruka grinned. “Having woken up after a night in which my boyfriend worshipped my body till it got all wet and screaming… feeling said boyfriend’s hands around me then… and now… Yeah, that helps too.”

“Stop talking or I’m taking you right now on that table and no one knows what Izumo might find in his pie…”

“KAKASHI!”, Iruka pulled away, blushing madly (but a small smile on his face) “Let me finish with the pie, which is going to be by the recipe, then I’ll take a quick shower and we’re invited at Izumo and Kotetsu’s.”

Kakashi only kissed his lover’s brow lovingly and moved to the couch to watch some TV, while waiting for Iruka.

*

Kotetsu opened the door after the second knock, smiling. A smile that faded immediately when he saw Iruka’s purple forehead. Eyes, that quickly turned angry and accusing, stared at Kakashi. Iruka sighed.

“Could you please stop jumping to conclusions?”, he murmured irritated, then lifted his arms and put his hands on Kotetsu’s temples. “Here, I’ll show you.”

Kotetsu gasped and Kakashi saw how his eyes turned glassy and unseeing the here and now, but rather they were captured in Iruka’s memory of what had happened. “So, Iruka’s the one who taught Izumo that trick…”, Kakashi thought, thinking also that he must have looked the same way when Izumo did that to him…

Kotetsu was now in Iruka’s head, seeing something quite unbelievable. Well, the first part was kinda funny – Iruka stepped out of the shower cabin and slipped, hitting his head hard on the wall, something pretty odd for a ninja. He tried to muffle the scream of pain,  but no such luck – the door opened harshly and a worried Kakashi flew into the bathroom.

“Ruka? What happened? Let me see!”

Yeah, that was the unbelievable part – Hatake Kakashi, THE Copy Nin, bent over his boyfriend like a mother hen. Iruka moved his hand of his brow and Kakashi visibly cringed and frowned.

“Damn… Come, we need to put some ice over that.”

Kakashi took Iruka’s hand and led him out of the bathroom like he was a little child, then, in the same way, he made him sit on the couch in the living room, and flew to the kitchen to bring ice. He came back with the bag and put it on Iruka’s aching forehead. Iruka hissed.

“I know, I know, love, sorry….”, Kakashi blurted quickly and Kotetsu could feel Iruka grinning like an idiot, despite the pain. Then Iruka shuddered visibly. Kakashi’s eyes widened again.

“Are you cold? Of course you’re cold, you’re naked, after a hot shower, and I’m putting ice on you!”, Kakashi murmured to himself, jumping up to get Iruka some clothes or at least a blanket. Iruka (and Kotetsu) could still hear him murmuring to himself on the way to the bedroom “Why do I never do the things right with you…”. He came back with a thick blanket and started wrapping Iruka in it, but Iruka moved to sit on his lap instead and tried to wrap them both…

“Ooookay, I think I got it!”, Kotetsu stepped back, away from Iruka’s hands. He looked at Kakashi, noting Iruka was snuggled in his embrace again, and tried to look as guilty as possible, saying:

“I’m sorry, Kakashi, I shouldn’t have…”

“Don’t bother, it’s fine.”, Kakashi brushed it off easily, but Kotetsu saw it in his eyes – understanding of Kotetsu’s reaction and hurt at the same time. But then Iruka snuggled closer, as if feeling  his boyfriend’s discomfort, and Kakashi’s face was again lit with one feeling only – love.

Kotetsu fidgeted. “Er… how about we go to the living room with Zumo?”

Kakashi and Iruka nodded in unison and they all moved further in the apartment, into said living room, where Izumo sat on the couch… pouting.

“What’s with the face?”, Kakashi asked.

“What’s with yours, since no one’s ever seen it?”, Izumo bit back. Kakashi laughed heartily.

“That was a good one, except… Ruka’s seen it”, he winked. And for some reason Iruka blushed, averting his eyes with a smile.

“Seriously now, what’s up with you?”, Iruka asked as they sat on the love seat opposite to Izumo.

As if on cue, Kotetsu came in the room with four glasses and a bottle of wine.

“That’s up! He wouldn’t let me do a thing! Nothing! I am supposed to stay on the couch or in the bed all day LONG!”, Izumo yelled. To their surprise, Kotetsu didn’t even winced.

“The medi-nins said you must not strain yourself, so shush now.”, he said calmly.

Iruka turned to Kakashi to see his reaction and had to fight with his own grin when he saw the Copy Nin nodding in agreement with Kotetsu, not even realizing it.

Izumo’s pouting didn’t last long however. As soon as everyone had their glasses full of wine, he grinned mischievously. Iruka subconsciously snuggled closer to Kakashi.

“I know that face…”, he murmured.

“So! Who’s the man in your relationship?”, Izumo asked straight to the point.

“ZUMO!”, Iruka turned red in the same moment Kakashi answered simply:

“Ruka is.”

Everyone, including Iruka himself, stared at him. Finally, Kakashi’s cheeks turned a bit pink.

“Well… he can endure much more than me…”, he mumbled.

The awkward silence lasted only a minute before Izumo grinned again and pointed out:

“You know, that actually makes him the woman. It is said they endure pain nine times stronger than the pain men can endure.”

“Thank you so much, Zumo, my long time friend”, Iruka said sarcastically, then turned to Kakashi and explained quietly: “He actually meant who’s… you know, who’s on top.”, Iruka turned red again.

“Oh…”, Kakashi nodded in understanding. Kotetsu waved his hands.

“I-It’s okay, Kakashi, you don’t have to answer that, Zumo’s just impossible when he’s sick…”

Kakashi knew he didn’t have to answer and knew the consequences if he did. But… those guys were their only common friends. Those guys were the main reason Kakashi’s eyes finally opened then, so he and Iruka could be a couple now. Kakashi decided – the hell with pride before those two…

“We’re switchers…”, he said flatly. That earned him another stare from all of them, Iruka included.

“Meaning…”, Izumo started, wide eyed.

“Meaning Iruka gets to top me as well.”

A deafening silence.

“No way…”, Izumo mumbled, still wide eyed, which earned him a poisonous glare from Iruka.

“I can assure you, Izumo, I don’t just spread my legs for anyone. Iruka makes it… more than worth it. So yeah – way.”, Kakashi nodded and saw Iruka fighting back a very proud smile. Iruka snuggled closer to him again. “Just another small thing, guys…”, Kakashi added, just in case. “I only told you that because I see you as friends, but don’t think I won’t go Mangekyou on you if someone gets to hear what I just said to you.”, Kakashi finished with his trade mark crescent-eyed smile.

“O-Of course we won’t… tell …!”, Izumo said and Kotetsu just shook his head vigorously.

It was then when Iruka decided to cheer them up again, bringing in the banana pie, earning him a loud gasp; Izumo clasped his hands, puppy eyes shining with joy and he screamed a loud “BANANA PIE!.!.!.!”

“Wow… yeah, that’s a ninja, Zumo, way to go!”, Kotetsu joked and they all laughed again, while Izumo pouted in a way that clearly said “No sex for you for a week, Mr. Smarty-pants!”

They all ate the pie, then Kakashi and Iruka moved a bit aside, giving Kotetsu some space to beg for forgiveness (and sex). They moved next to a window, Iruka snuggled in Kakashi’s arms again.

“Ruka… I didn’t want to tell you before we came here, so you wouldn’t be upset but…”

“What?.!”, Iruka stood alarmed.

“I’m going to a mission tomorrow. It’s an S-classed, so it might take a little while…”

“H-how much… “little while?”

“Two or three weeks.”

Iruka sighed. It was a miracle it hadn’t happened till now since they got together – Kakashi was an elite jounin after all. And an S-ranked…

“How…”, Iruka started then closed his mouth. What was he gonna ask? “How dangerous”? Obviously an S-rank dangerous. He fidgeted in Kakashi’s arms.

“I’ll do my best to come back to you…”, Kakashi promised.

“Please do…”, Iruka whispered, pressing himself as closer as he could get to Kakashi.

Meanwhile, Izumo poked Kotetsu and nodded towards the couple near the window.

“See that, Kotetsu? It was worth it. They are finally together, for real.”, Izumo said.

He only hoped, with all of them being ninja-s, and one – even an elite, that peace could last longer.

 

Chapter 18 - Scream

It had been five weeks already. Not two, not three. Five. Iruka began to panic.

Where was he?.! Had something messed up, so badly, he would never… NO! He will, he will come back, just give him time, baka!, Iruka scolded himself.

Izumo and Kotetsu might have been the only ones knowing the details, but by now all of Konoha knew Hatake Kakashi was in a relationship with Umino Iruka. So no one asked Iruka why he was uncharacteristically gloomy – they all noticed the missing of the well known tall silver headed jounin, walking around the village hidden behind a bright orange book.

His class noticed too. Not the missing Copy Nin, but how that affected their teacher. His children were all quiet and behaved, not arguing even once when Iruka drowned them in tests and tons of homework (which he then had to grade, making himself preoccupied).

“Sensei?”

Iruka looked up to see a little smiling face. An all too knowing smile for a child…

“Yes, Kita chan?”

“He will be back. The man with the mask, who picks you up after school…”

Iruka gulped dryly.

“How do you know?”, he whispered, shocked.

She grinned. “I am a girl, Iruka sensei, we know all!”

Not even realizing it, Iruka smiled for the first time in weeks.

The next day was Saturday. No classes, but a big pile of homework to grade. Good. Iruka sat with his back to the couch, a mug with coffee in his hand…. Something was missing. His head turned to the couch. Not something. Someone. A certain Copy Nin lounging there…

Iruka decided it was no good – he couldn’t focus on grading right now, like that. He knew Kotetsu and Izumo had Gate Guard Duty today, so he decided to take a walk.

Izumo’s eyes went big and round when he saw his long time friend. “Ruka? What are you doing here?”

“Visiting my best friends?”, he frowned.

“Don’t you have better things to do?”, Kotetsu joined.

“Like what? Guys, what the…?”

“But I thought…”, Kotetsu shook his head. “Ruka, Kakashi just came back.”

Iruka’s world spun. Back? But where was he? Hospital…?

“How bad…?”, he started.

“Exhausted. Pretty beaten up, but nothing serious. He was walking on his two feet, although a bit too slowly…”, Izumo said as if reading a record. That changed when he added, concern now in his voice: “Ruka, where do you think…?”

Iruka had an idea where and why, only had to confirm if. He waved goodbye to his friends and ran through Konoha.

In all the time they had been together Iruka had never been in Kakashi’s apartment. But he knew where it was alright…

He hesitated only for a second before leaping to the windowsill and slowly entering the place. In the moment he set foot on the floor a kunai was pressed to his neck, his hands twisted behind his back. Iruka froze. He had been right about Kakashi’s reasons. Now he only had to calm down his lover.

“Kakashi… it is me… Iruka”. No reaction, the blade didn’t move an inch, the vice grip on his arms tightened. “It’s Ruka… Your Ruka…  Listen to my voice, Kashi… I’m the one who’ll make you yakitori as soon as you drop the kunai… I’m the one who’ll sleep right next to you in bed tonight… on the left… I’m the one who bought you that absurd melon scented lube you love so much… It’s me, Kashi love, your Ruka… put the kunai down, love…”

He heard the gasp and knew he made it. The grip loosened, the kunai hit the floor… and so did Kakashi. Iruka turned around immediately, kneeling next to him. Kakashi was in ANBU gear, only the mask was removed; Iruka knew it – if Kakashi had ever really given up the Black Ops, he was back now. Oh, he was pretty beaten up and his chakra was lowered to a minimum level. He didn’t meet Iruka’s gaze and Iruka felt his own eyes watering.

“Talk to me please!”, Iruka begged.

Kakashi lowered his head even more. That’s when Iruka’s resolve returned.

“Alright… I’ll talk”, he said determinedly, still waiting for Kakashi to look at him, not taking his eyes off him. “I know why you came here. You hate hospitals, so when you saw you were not outright dying you decided to simply come here. You came here and not my place… because you were afraid you’d hurt me.”

Kakashi finally looked up, not in Iruka’s eyes, but he lifted his head. Iruka took it as a good sign.

“After all A and S-ranks, especially the longer ones, all shinobi need some time to return to normal after they get back home. You were still in mission mode and were terrified not to hurt me, even in your weaken state. Kakashi, you could barely stand when I got here and you were afraid you’d hurt me if you came right home to me?”

Still not looking at him, Kakashi whispered hoarsely “An ANBU fights to kill until they themselves die…”, Kakashi’s voice trailed.

“There’s more, isn’t it?”, Iruka asked, knowingly. “Shinobi being still in mission mode tend to… relieve tension differently. Some could break every bone in the nearest person’s body, even if it’s their loved one’s, without even realizing it. Other… could practically rape said closest body, again not realizing it.”

A pause.

“That’s what you were afraid of, isn’t it? That you’d hurt me in that way…before you’ve come out of mission mode, and not even realizing what your body is doing to mine…”

Silence. Then…

“I can’t foresee my actions. I can’t control my body in these moments and my soul is … somewhere else… I can’t risk hurting you in any way. Any way! … Not you….”

Iruka smiled gently and lifted Kakashi’s chin till their eyes met. “Listen to me now. Before… all was different. Let’s make a deal now. I promise to stop you this time, if you ever try to hurt me while you’re in mission mode. And now you know that I can! And you’ll promise me that, with the promise I just made, you’d come home immediately, to me, and not hiding here!”

A pause again. Then Kakashi gave a tiny nod.

“Say it!”, Iruka demanded. “Promise me!”

“I promise.”

“Good. Now let’s take you to the bed.”, Iruka said.

He decided Kakashi wasn’t going to take it well if they went through a transportation jutsu right now, to move to his apartment, so he led the Copy Nin to his own bedroom. Iruka then laid Kakashi gently down, not missing the frown, and moved to stood up. A hand reached up and pulled him back down. He stared questioningly at his lover.

“Ruka… please look into my eyes… and tell me if I’m still in mission mode.”

Iruka sighed. “Kashi love… you came out of it as soon as you dropped the kunai.”

“So I’m not? And you see it? You’re sure?”

“Yes.”, Iruka frowned a bit.

Kakashi gulped dryly.

“Ruka, I need you. I need you so much right now… To feel home again. Be back to normal sooner…Feel like myself, feel your skin again… Please… Help me... warm me…”

“Kashi…”, Iruka’s eyes filled with tears again. “You are fully conscious now, that’s true, but your body won’t… You won’t handle me taking you and you’re not strong enough to take me…”

Kakashi gulped again, now not braking the eye contact.

“Ride me.”

Iruka’s eyes widened. They’d never done it so far. It was another form of control on Iruka’s side, but he knew Kakashi trusted him enough – he had given himself to him! But now… Kakashi was so weak… But… that desperate look…

“Please… Help me… Warm me…”

“Be one with me again… please…”, Kakashi begged.

Oh, Kami…

“Okay… slowly…”, Iruka whispered shakily.

Very tentatively, Iruka started with unwrapping each of Kakashi’s leg wrappings. Then he removed the sandals… and hesitated again; their eyes meeting now again. Not breaking the eye contact, Kakashi’s hands moved to remove the white ANBU vest, but Iruka stopped him.

“Let me…”

Kakashi only nodded, his eyes – lost and searching their escape in Iruka’s. Iruka gulped – Kakashi hadn’t looked that vulnerable even when he was being taken by Iruka.

Iruka removed the white vest, with the help of Kakashi’s cooperative body, which moved the way it had to in order to get rid of its clothes. Same thing happened to the black sleeveless ANBU shirt and Kakashi was then laying in his bed in only the black ANBU pants. Iruka decided it was time his own body got rid of its clothes.

He moved away from Kakashi standing right before the bed and making quite the show for the Copy Nin with slowly undressing himself. Not being on duty on Saturday, he wore jeans and a simple white shirt. The shirt went first, Kakashi going crazy with each slowly unbuttoned button, each button revealing more and more tanned skin. Finally the offensive piece of clothing  was gone and Kakashi gulped. Over the hem of Iruka’s jeans, hanging lowly on his hips, he could see the hem of one of Iruka’s tight black boxers – he had far too many of those, knowing perfectly well their affect on Kakashi. The jeans pooled around Iruka’s ankles and he stepped out of them, standing now only those Tight Black Boxers. Kakashi swallowed dryly. Iruka then bent a little, pulling out something from the pocket of his jeans and tossing it on the bed. Before Kakashi could ask what it was, with one swift move, Iruka pulled down his boxers.

Kakashi had some problems with breathing. Never in his life so far had he allowed himself the urge not to take, but to be taken. Ever before Iruka he had only been seme,  never wanting to be on the bottom. But Iruka did something to him. With him Kakashi wanted equally to give and to take, to take and be taken, to just hold that amazing body with its warm tanned skin, and to know that not only that that body and its soul, that Iruka was his, but he also was Iruka’s.

Iruka’s hands quickly and skillfully removed Kakashi’s pants and boxers – again with one single move. Iruka straddled him and looked him the eyes, thoughtfully. Kakashi didn’t bother hiding his emotions like he did with everyone else, even his friends. But not with Iruka. All of it – desperation, frustration, pure and simple need – all was there in those mismatched eyes. But now there was also one more thing, one very important thing for Iruka – pure and astonishingly strong love. Iruka smiled gently and grabbed the item he had tossed on the bed before. Now Kakashi saw it too and a shadow of a smile bloomed on his face. It was Kakashi’s favorite melon scented lube.

Iruka grabbed Kakashi’s right hand and the Copy Nin was surprised to feel some of the liquid on his own fingers. Still smiling, Iruka moved Kakashi’s hand to his (Iruka’s) entrance. One… then two… then three fingers slid in Iruka’s heat. Slowly… Gently… Then-… Iruka’s face twisted blissfully and he moaned, his tanned body swaying in trance above the pale one – Kakashi’s fingers had found his special place. One… then two… then three more strokes there.

“Enough…!”, Iruka moaned, removing Kakashi’s hand and quickly lubing the Copy Nin’s hard member; Kakashi bit his bottom lip. Iruka bent forward his head, his ass moving up, taking the position right above Kakashi’s shaft. Iruka smiled again and kissed him – their first kiss that night, then dropped the lower half of his body, sheathing Kakashi’s member to the hilt with that one single move. They both moaned, almost cried into the kiss, and simply stilled, only then breaking their lips’ contact, but still hovering millimeters close to each other. They stared into each other’s faces.

“Ru… A-are you…”, Kakashi started, his voice strained.

“I’m ok…”, Iruka nodded.

“You’re n-not… in pain?”, Kakashi insisted.

“N-no, just… intense…”, Iruka managed. The feeling was indeed too intense, the time they had been separated – too long, their bodies craving each other.

“I have to…”, Iruka started, then changed his mind and asked “And you? Are you in pain? Your injuries…”

“I am… too good right now, Ruka”, Kakashi smiled. “Whenever you’re ready, love…”

Iruka nodded, slightly smiling, then his body rose up until only the tip of Kakashi’s member was still in him. Kakashi’s sharp intake of breath made him look down again and Iruka’s eyes were asking, searching. Kakashi’s mind knew only one word then: “Please…”

Iruka lowered himself again, slowly this time. Kakashi’s eyes closed, but between the parted lips came a shaky “Yes…”. Iruka moved up again and Kakashi took another deep breath, as if he was suffocating. Iruka frowned, concerned.

“Kashi?”

“Intense…”, Kakashi only said, but Iruka didn’t need anything more. He understood completely.

Iruka began a slow, steady rhythm. Quick rising and a slow descending. Kakashi’s hands, now on Iruka’s thighs, gripped him tighter, their breath hitching, they were both panting hard. Iruka moved a bit to change the angle and almost immediately screamed with pleasure – that position allowed Kakashi to go deeper, to hit harder that tiny spot…

“Kami!.!.!”, Iruka screamed, stars and white spots dancing before his eyes; he began riding Kakashi in earnest. Kakashi only grunted, lips tightly pursed, as always trying to keep his own screams, his neck arched and his head buried deep into the pillow, his body also arching up, his feet digging into the sheets, his toes curling…

“Ka-Kashi, please… You have to… let it go, love… Come on,… scream with me… Screeeeeaaaammmm!.!.!.!.!”

Iruka screamed the last part, his orgasm hitting him hard, taking Kakashi with him… And they were both screaming wordlessly, loudly, desperately, lost in each other, and the feeling was so intense, so blindingly strong…

They both passed out right away, Kakashi still in Iruka and Iruka collapsing on top of him.

This time Iruka woke first, an hour later. He opened his eyes and smiled, acknowledging the situation they were in. He moved cautiously, wincing when Kakashi slid out of him. Iruka moved to Kakashi’s left side, supporting himself on an elbow to look at Kakashi’s peaceful face – he hadn’t even stirred when Iruka had moved.

This time it was Iruka’s turn to smile dreamily and to whisper “I love you…”, before snuggling closer to his love…

 

Chapter 19 - Realizations

The phone rang and Iruka ran to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me”, Izumo’s voice sounded tired. Iruka pointed this out. “My shift just ended”, his friend explained, then added: “How’s he?”

“Well, you’re calling at his place and I’m the one picking up the phone… Wait, how did you get his number, I doubt he’s let it…”

“I work in the Hokage’s Tower, Ru.”

“Tch. You baaaad man.”, Iruka grinned.

“I am.”, Izumo was grinning too, no doubt. “So, how’s the stubborn baka?”

Iruka turned his gaze towards the bedroom. Kakashi was still sleeping and usually he always woke earlier than Iruka. He looked pale. Iruka told Izumo all that.

“He always looks pale, Ru…”, Izumo pointed out.

“I sleep with the guy, Zumo, don’t you think I can make the difference?”, Iruka snapped.

“Hm… Well, I think you should wake him, make him eat something light. Take a note at how he moves around. You’ll know if you have to take him to the hospital, and by force if you have to, I know you can…”

“Yeah… Thanks… Hey, Zumo?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s with the worry all of a sudden?”

“Well, I love you, you love him, I have to like him. You’re family, he’s yours now, he’s family too. That’s how things go.”, Izumo simply said and Iruka could imagine him shrugging.

Iruka smiled – he liked the explanation. “Thanks, Zumo. Go to sleep now, I’ll call you later.”

“Yeah, do that. Bye now.”

“Bye…”

Iruka did what Izumo advised him. He went to wake up Kakashi, which turned to be way more difficult than usual.

“Kashi?”

No reaction.

“Kashi love, wake up…”

“Mmhh…”

“Come on, baby, you need to get some food into your system…”

“No…Tired… Sleep…”, Kakashi muttered, eyes still closed.

“Have some breakfast and I’ll let you sleep the whole day, ok?”, Iruka tried to bribe him.

“No food… just Ru… bed… now…”, Kakashi’s hands tried to pull Iruka in the bed, grasping blindly the air between their bodies. Iruka grinned.

“Okaaay. Here’s the deal – eat something and you get the whole day with me in bed. It’s Sunday.”

“Sun… Rukasun… yeah, ok….”

Iruka chuckled. “OK, up now…”

With a lot of grunting and moaning and whining like “Do I have to?”, and a bit too much pulling on Kakashi’s arms (by Iruka), the Copy Nin was up. It took only one step for him to collapse in Iruka’s arms.

“KAKASHI!.!.!”, Iruka yelled terrified. Then he growled – leave it to Kakashi to keep it quiet when he’s with chakra depletion and a fever. “Forget what I said. Hospital. NOW!”, Iruka growled, lifting Kakashi bridal style (with nearly no effort and to Kakashi’s utter embracement).

“But you said…!”, Kakashi started weakly.

“NOW!”, Iruka bellowed.

 *

“High temperature, total chakra depletion, two fractured ribs, and a concussion”, Tsunade concluded.

Kakashi smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. Tsunade’s scowl deepened.

“Normally I wouldn’t ask anybody else IN YOUR CONDITION that, but YOU… ugh”, she shook her head. “Knowing you’re perfectly capable of that, which would only worsen your state, did you have sex last night?”

Iruka paled. Kakashi suddenly found the hospital sheets very interesting. Tsunade sighed.

“Wonderful. Just wonderful. Who was on  top?”

“TSUNADE SAMA!”, Iruka shrieked.

“I ask to note who took the most strain.”

Pause. Iruka was sure he would faint. Or die with embracement. Soon.

“I-I-I was on t-top… R-Riding him”, Iruka stuttered, bright crimson.

If it wasn’t for Iruka’s obvious discomfort, Kakashi, the perv, would be grinning like an idiot, Tsunade suddenly realized. Instead she saw the look they shared – a look, connecting two souls, and Kakashi, now maskless, mouthed something that suspiciously looked like “I’m sorry”. Iruka smiled a tiny smile, his hand creeping in Kakashi’s.

“Iruka, can I talk to you outside?”, Tsunade asked.

“Yes, Hokage sama.”, Iruka nodded, then bent down, kissed Kakashi’s brow (Kakashi’s eyes closed) and whispered that he’d be right back.

They exited the room and went into the hallway, which got a window to the room. They both stared through said window.

(A.N. Please do take a note to the following lines, they kinda explain the whole story and it being theoretically possible in the first place;) )

“I don’t get it.”, Tsunade said out of the blue. Iruka turned to look at her questioningly. “Your relationship.”, Tsunade explained; then, to Iruka’s delight, she added: “It evolves.”

Iruka grinned. Tsunade ,however, shook her head.

“Look, Iruka Sensei… I’ve read psychology books. I know how things go. And relationships, that started with abuse don’t work. And yours does, even gets better. I am: 1. Missing something; 2. Worried and waiting for something to go wrong again.”, she said frankly.

Iruka smiled lopsidedly, eyes on Kakashi’s bed again.

“You know, Tsunade sama… Just a few weeks ago I was the same. I already knew I love him alright, but couldn’t help but wait for the strike… The one night he’d say he wanted it rough again, or wouldn’t even say it. And you know what – in those nights the man didn’t even wanted anything for himself. Just indulged me. There was a moment I had to beg for us both to enjoy it. And then he… he trusts me more then he trusts anyone else, ok? And sometimes he does nothing more than hold me, just like I told him I wanted him to.”

Iruka paused to smile to his Hokage, then continued.

“Before… He told me he thought that was what I needed. That he was acting then because of me, that it was just another mask. And, after some time, I believed him. After some time I finally got the main idea, Hokage sama. He was never an abuser in the first place. He just did what he thought was expected of him.”

“Like a real ninja.”, Tsunade nodded. “He never asks questions, he just does what he’s told or what he deems needed.”

It was Iruka’s turn to nod. “And it wasn’t before we actually started talking that our relationship began to evolve, like you see it now.”

“It must be hard.”, Tsunade mused. “Ninjas don’t talk.”

Iruka smiled his lopsided smile again. “You have no idea.”. He turned again to her. “I know you’ll keep an eye on us, Hokage sama. But in my heart and soul, and recently with my body too, I trust him.”

She smiled a tiny smile. “May be you should let him know that, brat. Trust is a precious gift and is even more treasured when one knows they’re given that gift.”

“I will, Hokage sama. Soon.”, Iruka promised, eyes on his loved one again.

“Go to him.”, she smiled and waved dismissively. Iruka didn’t need to be told twice…

 

Chapter 20 – The calm before…

Kakashi was discharged from the hospital the next day, with a stern look from his Hokage, telling him that she would rather not patch him up after every round he and Iruka have. That made Iruka bright crimson again and they almost ran back home.

As soon as he could stand on his feet Kakashi suddenly got very busy – he wasn’t on missions, wasn’t going to be for at least two weeks till his chakra level evened, but was always somewhere (around the village).  Iruka caught him a couple of times talking to groups of strangers, all of them – big, strong musclemen, as if caught in a scheme with them. Iruka felt nervous and a bit sad – he knew Kakashi wasn’t cheating on him, but still he obviously wasn’t telling him something. Iruka, however, decided to not say anything yet.

This afternoon Kakashi went to pick up his boyfriend after work, waiting in the schoolyard till the bell rang. Iruka’s class ran out immediately, but they all stopped before the Copy Nin. And glared.

“What the…”, Kakashi thought.

“Are you Iruka sensei’s special one?”, a boy with messy black hair asked bluntly.

“I guess I am.”, Kakashi said, fighting back a smile behind his mask (the pervy book was hidden from the children’s eyes, because of Iruka, not that Kakashi would care otherwise).

“Of course he is, baka!”, a girl with blond curls said, which was immediately followed by Iruka’s still muffled yelling from the classroom:

“No bad words, Kita chan!”

The kids ignored their sensei and cornered Kakashi by the tree in the yard.

“Do you love our sensei?”

“What would you do to keep him happy?”

“Why are you still taking long missions?”

“Do you know how he looks while you’re gone?”

“SO MANY TESTS!”

“He gets so gloomy!”

“TOO MUCH HOMEWORK!”

“Please don’t go away again!”

That was about the time when a perfectly red Iruka ran out from the school building to save his terrified boyfriend.

“CLASS!.!.! What… Back off! Do you know who this is? This is Konoha’s most honored warrior! Show some respect!”

A low murmur followed that and Kakashi could hear some words like “copy nin”, “thousand jutsu-s”, “ANBU”, “jounin at 13”, “yeah, I’ve heard about him”, “must be him, look at the mask!”. He grinned, a smile which threatened to show over the edges of his mask when the boy with the messy hair said:

“Woooow, sensei, you hooked up with THE Copy Nin?.!”

“I-I haven’t... h-hooked…”, Iruka stuttered.

“Yes, he did.”, Kakashi grinned. “And you should know that not anyone can be with THE Copy Nin”, he glared at the boy, then added: “Your teacher is a very powerful ninja as well and you better listen to what he says.”

“Kakashi…”, Iruka whispered, his cheeks red again.

His class seemed pretty impressed, now that THE Copy Nin told them what a teacher they had. It seemed that they looked at their sensei in a whole new way, before they scattered, some even bowing a little. Iruka couldn’t help but smirk.

“Was that necessary?”, he asked his no-less proud boyfriend.

“Yes. They should know what a treasure they have and how lucky they are to have you teach them. They must learn to cherish you.”, Kakashi answered.

“You cherish me enough…”, Iruka murmured huskily in Kakashi’s ear.

“Now I do. I learnt how to do so.”, Kakashi simply said, hugging Iruka and kissing the top of his head (Kakashi being slightly taller than Iruka). Iruka summoned up some courage and decided to ask the question he was struggling with for some time already.

“Kakashi?”

“Hm?”

“What have you been up to lately? I mean come on, I see you talking with those guys…”

Pause.

“I am faithful to you, Iruka.”, Kakashi said flatly.

“I know that. It wasn’t what I asked.”, Iruka said just as calmly, still snuggled to Kakashi. “There’s just something you’re not telling me.”

Another pause.

“I can’t tell you. Yet. But I will soon. Just… wait for me, ok?”

“I always do. Always have…”, Iruka pointed out and Kakashi’s embrace tightened.

“And I love you for that.”, Kakashi said, kissing Iruka’s head again.

Some time passed, with them still hugging in the middle of the empty schoolyard, before Kakashi made the seals for teleportation and they both disappeared in a puff of smoke.

 

Chapter 21 - Welcome home

A month passed after Kakashi’s (last) visit to the hospital and now he was on a mission. Again.

It had been a week now and Iruka missed him. A lot. Again. He was beginning to wonder how were they supposed to live like that, with Iruka always on edge, always nervously expecting. Things were pretty serious for them now. Relationship serious. And still for the five months they’d been together Kakashi had been absent a month and a half already.

It was raining and Iruka stood by the window, a cup of tea in his hands. His apartment was all dark and he just kept staring out, telling himself he watched the rain, he always liked to watch the rain, but he was in fact waiting…

Music filled the place, calming down Iruka’s nerves, or at least a little bit. He was wearing one of Kakashi’s pullovers, it was too big for him with Kakashi being taller, but it smelled like Kakashi and Iruka snuggled in the warm cloth.  He tilted his head a little, catching a line of the song.

“And I've lost who I am

And I can't understand

Why my heart is so broken….”

Iruka smiled absently – he loved that song and that band. Then he frowned, listening.

“All this time spent in vain

Wasted years

Wasted gain

All is lost

Hope remains…”

“Wasted years...”. “Please come back to me!”, Iruka silently prayed. He sighed, turning his back to the opened window.

That’s when he felt it, an all too familiar chakra, running, rushing into him. Iruka’s heart sped up, mind only forming one word.

“Kakashi!”

He couldn’t even turn back around. Two strong arms grabbed him from behind, almost crushing him into stone hard body, an almost painful embrace. They both froze, hearts racing, minds trying to catch up, souls connecting again… A head bent, an all too familiar soft silver hair grazing Iruka’s cheek; Kakashi was rubbing himself into him, gently, like a giant cat. A sound, strained with passion, escaped the now uncovered lips.

“Iruka…”

Oh, the want, the passion sustained in that voice! It made Iruka’s legs weak and if Kakashi wasn’t holding him he would probably collapse.

“Come with me…”, Kakashi suddenly said, dragging Iruka out through the window and in the rain.

“Wha-? Kakashi!”, Iruka gasped, letting himself be dragged to the roof by Kakashi (Iruka lived on the last floor), his window right below them. Once there Kakashi hugged him again, but now Iruka was facing him.

“Dance with me.”, Kakashi simply said.

Iruka’s heart swelled pleasantly. They were dancing in the rain, on the rooftop, the street lamps below their only light. The song from Iruka’s apartment just switched, again to one of his favorites.

“Emily will find a better place to fall asleep

She belongs to fairy tales that i could never be…”

Iruka hugged Kakashi tighter. They were already soaking wet. And yet it was… perfect. Just… perfect.

“I die each time you look away

My heart, my life will never be the same

This love will take my everything

One breath, one touch will be the end of me….”

A few more gentle sways… then Kakashi suddenly dropped to Iruka’s knees, his own two knees were on the rooftop, his hands now clutching Iruka’s legs, silver head resting on Iruka’s abs.

“Kakashi!”, Iruka gasped terrified, thinking Kakashi had collapsed from his injuries – the man had just returned from a mission, still in his jounin gear too!

Then Kakashi looked up, his face bare, his eyes shining and so sincere (and a bit scared), he gulped.

“Marry me…”, Kakashi whispered. Iruka gasped. A tiny desperate note entered Kakashi’s voice then. “Please marry me, Iruka! Become my husband and stay with me for as long as we have!”

Iruka’s breath hitched, tears streaked down his face mingling with the rain drops. Panic began to take the place of hope on Kakashi’s face. Iruka dropped to his knees to be on Kakashi level, then grinned and whispered shakily:

“Yes…”

Iruka threw himself into Kakashi embrace again, weeping silently and shaking with emotions. He wasn’t the only one. Kakashi’s arms, almost crushing him again, were also trembling.

Suddenly Kakashi backed off to look at Iruka’s face again. Iruka had never seen him like that – Kakashi looked ten years younger, he was grinning so madly, his face lit with pure joy and the way as if he had never felt that way in his life so far. He jumped up and grabbed Iruka’s hand.

“Come!”, he said enthusiastically and dragged Iruka to the next roof.

“Kakashi, wait! Wha- Not so faaaasssst!”

They were jumping on the rooftops like some crazy ninja rabbits, soaked with the rain, the puddles making squishing noises under their feet. The night was dark, the street laps left behind, and Iruka had no idea where they were going. He barely recognized the part of Konoha where most of the oldest family compounds, like Hyuga’s, Aburame’s and even Uchiha’s, were.

“Kakashi…”, Iruka tried again.

“Soon, we’re close!”, Kakashi promised, still dragging Iruka forward.

It wasn’t long before they reached a heavy looking wooden wall with just as heavy looking double doors. Kakashi made some seals and the faint glowing showed Iruka a glimpse of letters, beautifully engraved on a wrought iron plate.

Hatake.

Iruka didn’t have time to look at it closely and wasn’t even sure he had read correctly, for he was dragged (again!) through the doors and in a huge garden. Iruka still couldn’t see almost anything, but could smell roses, jasmine and some other flowers he couldn’t recognize right now. He barely saw the outlines of a classical Japanese style Ï- shaped compound. He was dragged to the inner main door, where Kakashi made more seals and the door opened. Dragged again, inside this time. Iruka began to feel dizzy with all that flying around. As soon as they entered bright light filled the place and Iruka gasped – it was amazing! The rooms were so big and nicely furnished, without too much stuff, leaving enough space to move comfortable. All the furniture looked expensive, but comfortable. There were a few pictures and other small decorations on the walls. The place looked… cosy.

Iruka’s hand was grabbed again and he had to stifle a moan, being dragged again, Kakashi obviously wanting to show him the whole place.

“That’s the kitchen…”, a huge room, full of pots, pans, enormous ancient looking cooking range, but also a micro wave oven, a toaster, huge fridge, a washing machine and other modern appliances.

“You already saw the living room… That’s guest room number one… that’s number two… there are some others too… The main bedroom, I really hope you like this one, but we can change it to whatever you like… !”

Iruka gasped, realization hitting him. It was the Hatake compound.

And he gasped again. The main bedroom had a huge king sized canopy bed, all white, with silken sheets. There were two night tables on the two sides; Iruka’s picture was on the right one. A door led to the bathroom and another one – to the built-in wardrobe.

“Do you like it?”, Kakashi asked, voice trembling.

Not trusting his own voice, Iruka nodded vigorously.

“Welcome home.”, Kakashi said softly, smiling ho his love and going to hug him again.

“I-I…I…”, Iruka was lost. He swallowed dryly and tried again. “Th-Those men…”

“The workers, making the place livable again. I hadn’t lived here since I was eighteen.”

Iruka nodded – he could smell the fresh paint.

“It’s… Kashi…”

Kakashi let go of Iruka, moved in front of him and kneeled again, this time on one knee. He smiled lopsidedly and brought a small black box out of his pocket.

“First I thought of giving you my mother’s, but it was too womanly, and you’re definitely a man, so…”

Kakashi opened the box. The ring was wider than a woman’s and had no stones, only the Hatake family symbol engraved.

“Do you like it?”, Kakashi asked again.

Iruka only managed to nod again.

“May I…?”, Kakashi asked, waiting for Iruka to give him his hand. Iruka did, his whole arm shaking, but Kakashi still managed to slip on the ring. He grinned, face lit with joy. “Perfect.”, he simply said with a shaky voice.

They stood like that for a while, then they both looked at the huge bed.

“Can we… can we sleep here tonight?”, Iruka asked.

“Of course. It’s ours. Our home, our bedroom…”, Kakashi smiled. Iruka however was frowning a little, thinking. “What’s wrong”, Kakashi asked.

“I… so much happened tonight, and you just came back from a mission and Tsunade said she won’t patch you up if we…”

“Ruka… just say it, baby. What’s wrong?”

“I… can we leave the official “consecration” of that bed for tomorrow a-and… just hug and sleep tonight?”, Iruka’s cheeks turned adorably pink.

Kakashi couldn’t help but chuckle. He kissed Iruka on the top of his head. “I will do whatever my baby says, anything… anytime…”, he grinned to Iruka. “Hug and sleep it is. But how about a shower first? I, uh, really need one.”, Kakashi smiled sheepishly. “Care to join me? I promise I won’t do dirty things… much…”

“Kashiiii…”, Iruka tried to sound menacing, but it was in vain, since he was grinning like an idiot.

“Only a few gropes… and kisses… and touches, just to feel home to my Ruka”, Kakashi explained, still grinning. “I solemnly swear the grand “consecration” of this house will be in this bed, whenever we both feel like doing it.”, Kakashi winked and Iruka chuckled. They were already walking to the bathroom.

“Of course, then we will do it on the kitchen table, the couch, the floor in most of the rooms…”

“KASHI!”

“…and maybe on the rooftop too, I’ve come to really like rooftops!”

“Oh, what did I got myself into?”, Iruka sighed dramatically, with mock desperation.

“I love you too~~!”, Kakashi sang happily, shoving Iruka under the shower and running the hot water on.

 

Song 1: Shattred by Trading Yesterday

Song 2: Love song Requiem by Trading Yesterday 

 

Chapter 22 – THE question

Iruka woke up the next morning with a start. He jumped in the bed – their innocently white bed which was soon going to be oh so tainted, and looked around feverishly. The clock on his night stand showed 8 o’clock. He was going to be late!

“O, no, no, no, nooooo! Kakashi!”

Iruka screamed, turning around. No Kakashi. A letter.

“Gone to leave the report – gotta get used to it to please my husband ;) Will pick some lunch and come eat it with my fiancée in his lunch break. Love u, K.”

Iruka was smiling like a fool by the end of the letter. He got up, still dizzy and went to find the kitchen Kakashi had showed him last night. Where was it again?

*

Sure enough, in 12 o’ clock Kakashi was waiting by the same tree he got cornered by Iruka’s kids. Again, the bell rang and the little hellions ran out, screaming and running to the playground. Kakashi smiled – they might be in the process of being taught to become ninjas, but they were still just kids. This time however most of them bowed to him and others yelled a “Hello, Hatake san!” An utterly tired Iruka came after them, got close enough and simply slumped against his… fiancée, groaning.  Holding the paper bags with one hand, Kakashi hugged him with the other and chuckled.

“Long morning?”, he asked softly in Iruka’s messy hair, barely sustained in the ponytail.

“Yeeeeah!”, Iruka moaned desperately in the Copy Nin’s chest and Kakashi laughed again – he did it a lot since he and Iruka got together.

“I got you sushi with extra wasabi.”, he grinned.

“Oh… I love you…”, Iruka moaned again, making Kakashi laugh harder.

They sat under the tree – Kakashi with his back resting against it and Iruka between his legs, his back resting on Kakashi’s front. That’s when Kakashi saw Iruka’s slightly wrinkled shirt. He frowned.

“Ruka?”

“Hm?”

“How extreme was the morning exactly?”

Iruka turned a little, saw Kakashi’s look on his shirt and his cheeks turned adorably pink.

“I-I… got lost.”, he choked out. A certainly not understanding Copy Nin stared back at him. Iruka turned red. “A-at the mansion…”, he muttered. “I got so lost, I didn’t even have time to teleport at my place to change, just grabbed my clothes, which were still a bit wet by the way, and transported myself here, was late as it was…”

Kakashi started laughing. Hard. Iruka’s brow twitched.

“It’s not funny, I’m gonna need a damn map to make my way through that mansion of yours!”

“Of ours.”, Kakashi corrected. “And I’ll make you one if you want me to.”, he winked.

Iruka smiled,  then turned to look at his kids, playing a few meters away from them. It was Kakashi, who broke the silence again.

“Do you want one?”

“Huh? One what?”

“A child.”

Iruka turned to stare at Kakashi. “What kind of question is that?”

“One that every man has to ask the love of his life and the one he’s going to marry.”, Kakashi pointed out.

Oh. Right. Iruka turned again.

“I don’t know. May be.”

“May be as in I’m-not-sure or may be as in Yes-but-not-with-you?”

“May be as in I-don’t-see-how-this-could-possibly-happen-in-a-gay-couple. May be you haven’t noticed, but I haven’t grown a vagina.”

“I can assure you, love, I am perfectly aware of you anatomy.”, Kakashi leered, then said seriously again. “I meant adoption.”

Pause.

“I’d… like that. Some day. When we settle at the new place.”, Iruka said.

Kakashi hm-ed thoughtfully, then silence settled between them again.

“How about you?”, Iruka asked.

“Hm?”, Kakashi shook off of his daydreaming. Iruka sighed, a bit annoyed.

“I am also a man in this relationship. I am also marrying the one I love. I’m also asking you. Do you want kids?”

“Well, yeah, I just proposed adopting…”

“I-I meant…”, Iruka sighed again. “Kakashi, I know how important the restoring of the clan is for you, although you don’t talk much about it. I know you want a child with your blood. A-and I know… that you’re bi and you’ve done it with women before…”

“I’m with you now.”, Kakashi said with a tone, that cut off any other discussions.

The rest of the lunch went in silence.

*

That night Kakashi cooked, some simple ramen, mainly because Iruka didn’t know where anything stood in the kitchen. He just stood there and observed, noting what could be found where. He couldn’t even enjoy the sight of his fiancée cooking – he was too tensed.

They sat around the table, a table set by Kakashi, and ate quietly, Kakashi sensing Iruka’s tension, but never pushing him. He waited.

And when they stood up, Kakashi serving out and leaving the dishes in the washing machine, then returning in the dining room to face a standing in the middle of the room, fidgeting Iruka – that’s when Kakashi stopped being silent.

“What is it?”, Kakashi asked, as softly as he could, biting back an “again”.

Iruka averted his eyes, looking down.

“Oh…”, Kakashi said brokenly. “You think it’s too good to be true,… this house and me saying it’s ours and I want us to make it… a home for our family…. You don’t believe me… again…”

Iruka’s head had shot up with Kakashi’s little “oh”.

“Kashi, please don’t be mad…!”

As soon as he said it, he knew what a mistake he did. Kakashi wasn’t angry. He was hurt, and even more now, with Iruka’s each word that only worsened the situation they were in. Iruka knew then how it felt to hate yourself for hurting the one you love.

“Kakashi, love…”, Iruka’s voice was pleading. “Please, baby, just… I need more time. Always need more time. My body trusts you now… Just… give it time to get used to this place.”, Iruka shook his head, but looked at Kakashi again. “Kashi… this is still your place. I need some time to feel it’s also mine. I need some time to make it ours… Please, please, wait for me…!”

Kakashi’s shoulders were tensed, his gaze on the floor, but he nodded.

“I’m sorry.”, he said.

“What?”, Iruka frowned.

“I did that. If it wasn’t for me, if it wasn’t our past…”, Kakashi muttered brokenly, eyes still on the floor.

“No, Kashi, don’t, love!” , Iruka threw himself towards Kakashi, hugging him tight to the point of hurting him, “It’s ok, it’s ok, we’ll just adjust to the new place… some time and it’ll be ours. But I’m gonna need you, Kashi, to work with me again, ok? Ok?”

Kakashi nodded slightly – Iruka felt his head moving next to his. Then, slowly and hesitantly, two strong arms crept around Iruka’s body to hug him in return.

 

Chapter 23 - Officially OURS!

Iruka was cooking. In their, or should he say his  new kitchen, since Kakashi rarely used it after that first showing. He was smiling.

Flashback

“We have to tell them.”, Kakashi said in his ear, spooning him in their bed.

“You just wanna brag.”, Iruka teased back. Kakashi chuckled.

“Well, take a look at yourself. Can you blame me?”

It was Iruka’s turn to laugh.

“I guess you’re right though. Sooner or later everyone will know. We should at least tell our friends.”, he agreed.

End Flashback

So they did tell their friends about the engagement. Izumo had smiled widely and looked at Kakashi in a way that said “That was the right thing to do (and I’m glad I trusted you, but don’t you dare screw up!)”. Kotetsu’s look was something in the lines of “I am happy you make Iruka happy, but I’ll keep watching you”. However, they both looked excited and pleased with Kakashi’s doing. They were still voicing their blessings when Iruka informed them they were also the best men.

Genma had almost choked with his senbon and Raido patted Kakashi on the shoulder with a happy smile and some strange understanding in his eyes. Gai had burst in “manly tears of joy before this glorious act of youthful love!” (Kakashi had subconsciously moved in front of Iruka as if to protect him from Gai’s insanity, which still caused a wide grin on Iruka’s face).

Tsunade had inspected Kakashi with a long, considering look. She then smiled, slowly, and simply nodded. She acknowledged them.

Iruka insisted that Kakashi should also tell his students. With Sasuke gone to Orochimaru and Naruto gone to train with Jiraya that left only Sakura. With her being a girl and uhm… obsessed with Sasuke, they had never been that close, but Kakashi decided to tell her anyway, with a few words. Something in the lines of “Oi! So I’m engaged to Iruka and we’ll marry in a month or two. Ja ne!” No such luck. Meaning Kakashi said exactly this, but then couldn’t escape on time from a screaming-with-joy  Sakura, squeezing the life out of him. So they had a (self-proclaimed) bridesmaid now. No matter that there wasn’t gonna be any “bride”.

It had been near a week since Kakashi’s proposal and their moving into their new home. Iruka smiled, stirring the sauce – their home. A week and Kakashi’s careful demeanor, almost like stepping on his toes around Iruka, and Iruka was able to call it, to feel it, his home too. Turns out he didn’t need much time, but some time, and as long as Kakashi knew and acknowledged that, time flew faster than expected.

Iruka heard the front door opening and his heart sped up. He had a plan for this night. He threw the white cooking apron and ran to meet his fiancée by the door.

“Welcome home!”, he smiled.

Kakashi actually jumped a little, his eyes widened a bit and he froze, still bent to remove his shoes.

“What did you say?”, he all but whispered. Iruka smiled, understanding that reaction.

“Welcome home, love.”, he said quietly, slightly smiling with that same understanding, his eyes soft and full of love.

Kakashi, now standing properly, mask already removed from his face, smiled, so happily, exhaling a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He didn’t say anything, just made the few steps that were still separating them and kissed Iruka – slowly and softly, passionately but not erotically, with just love emanating from that simple act of closeness. Even after the kiss ended, Kakashi didn’t immediately pull off, but stood for a minute just hugging Iruka. Finally he kissed the top of his head, something that was turning to be a habit already, and moved slowly, still smiling to his fiancée.

“You look happy.”, Kakashi observed.

“I cooked!”, Iruka couldn’t help the proud exclamation. “In our kitchen, finding everything from the first time!”

Kakashi laughed heartily and pulled Iruka in his arms again, but now with Iruka’s back to his front and they began walking to the kitchen.

“So what did my amazing fiancée cooked for his mission-beaten future husband?”, Kakashi teased.

“Teriyaki beef, stir-fried vegetables and a cake with apples and cinnamon.”, Iruka listed.

“Oh, I love you….”, Kakashi all but moaned. Iruka chuckled.

“I knew it! You proposed to me because of my cooking abilities!”

Kakashi laughed again. “You caught me.”

Iruka turned to give him a short but sweet peck on the lips. “Go take a shower, I’ll set the table for dinner.”

Kakashi only nodded, returning the kiss and going upstairs to use the bathroom next to their bedroom.

It took them 25 minutes to eat the dinner, Kakashi complimenting Iruka for how good the food was. In those 25 minutes though some tension could be felt in the dining room, a tension even the light conversation couldn’t entirely mask. Kakashi helped Iruka serve out the dishes – he was leaving the last one in the washing machine, when he felt himself being pinned between the sink and a very sexy, flushed chunin. Saying just the magic words…

“Kashi… I need you to take me tonight.”

Kakashi almost fainted from joy. A week! It had been a week since they moved in and he had been so carefully respecting Iruka’s need to adapt, that they hadn’t really done anything real hot, except for some  groping and touching, kisses and hugs… but no sex. For a week!

“I need you to make love to me tonight, Kakashi… Again… and again… and then again…”, Iruka said hoarsely and between kisses around Kakashi ear.

“Oh, thank you!”, Kakashi couldn’t help himself from groaning, then he simply scooped up Iruka and almost ran to their bedroom.

It wasn’t like they made it there right away – on the way there they took turns on pinning each other to the walls, feverishly touching, pulling on each others’ clothes, undressing, grinding and groaning. Kami… why had they waited this long again?

They entered the room with Kakashi walking and Iruka clinging to him with his legs around Kakashi’s waist. When they reached the bed, he simply slid off, landing on the while silken sheets and sliding up, looking at his fiancée in the most sinful way. He bit his bottom lip and moaned, watching Kakashi crawling up to him like a wild animal, with the most predatory look in his eyes. Iruka’s member twitched in anticipation of what was to come; he knew that look – every time he saw it he felt Heaven afterwards.

“Tell me what you want, Iruka… tell me how you want it tonight….”, Kakashi whispered, attacking his neck.

Iruka smirked – he knew Kakashi liked dirty talking. A lot! But he was also glad Kakashi had asked.

“There are some things I wanna try tonight, Kashi.”, he said seriously. “Will you do whatever I ask you?”

“Anything…”, Kakashi promised, kissing his chest.

“When I tell you to not stop, you will not stop. When I tell you to go harder you will not be afraid and will do it – I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t like it, ok?”

Kakashi had paused and now he opened his mouth.

“If you…”

“…feel uncomfortable, I’ll tell you immediately.”, Iruka promised, smiling.

Kakashi hesitated for a second, then nodded. Iruka smiled, almost shyly, then flipped on hid belly, lying all of his body on the bed instead of standing on all fours. He turned his head to Kakashi.

“Can… can you do it like that?”

Kakashi hesitated and Iruka turned his head more. “What…?”

“I… can’t see your face like that…”, he said quietly, sounding… sad.

“We’ll switch later…”, Iruka winked and smiled mischievously.

“I guess… ok then…”, Kakashi smiled, picking up his favorite melon scented lube from the night stand. He coated three fingers and slowly started dragging them from Iruka’s neck down his beautiful back, around the big jagged scar across it and the smaller one on the left, which made Kakashi’s heart clench again, remembering the katana, piercing the flesh there…

Shaking off these thoughts, his fingers moved lower, between Iruka’s firm cheeks, circling the hole.

“Don’t tease…”, Iruka warned breathily and Kakashi chuckled, entering the first finger. He only moved twice before Iruka moaned “More” and a second finger joined the first. In and out, slowly…

“Kashi… I’m good, go…”, Iruka panted.

“But.. the last one…”

“Go, I need you now!”, Iruka demanded. Kakashi knew he was lost when Iruka commanded him.

He slid in slowly and Iruka hissed. Kakashi froze.

“No, move, just… good…”, Iruka managed.

Kakashi started moving slowly and gently, but only got to slide in and out thrice before Iruka moaned “Faster”. Kakashi complied, on edge, always alarmed of Iruka’s well being.

Iruka hissed. Painfully. “Kashi…hurts…”, he whimpered quietly.

Immediately he knew what a mistake he had made, feeling Kakashi’s instant and pure panic. Kakashi froze, then started pulling out very, very gently. Iruka stiffened.

“No!”, he screamed, catching Kakashi’s hand and moving it to his own member, painfully hard and stuck between his body and the bed. “J-just… there…”

“O-oh…”, Kakashi managed, getting Iruka’s point. It took him a second to find an answer – he grabbed Iruka left thigh and turned them both sideways, lifting Iruka’s leg a little and in the same way sliding deeper.

“Oh, Kami!”, Iruka screamed. “Yes, this way! Move!”

Kakashi grinned, hiding his smile in Iruka’s shoulder, kissing it. He thrust once, now knowing exactly where to aim.

“OOOHH!.!.!”, Iruka screamed, louder. “YES! FUCK, DO THIS AGAIN!”

Kakashi set the pace, gradually making it faster, aiming at this spot only.

“Oh, Kami! Oh, Kami! YEAH!”, Iruka tossed, his hips bucking back, one hand lifted backwards and gripping Kakashi’s silver locks and the other gripping the sheets. He bit the pillow to muffle his screams.

“N-no…”, Kakashi moved the pillow. “I wanna hear you…”

“Fu-… I can’t… I can’t h-hold it…!”

“Don’t then…. Come, love…”

“KAKASHIIIIIII!”, Iruka screamed, arching backwards, his body stiffening, stars dancing before his eyes, coming harder than ever before, even with Kakashi worshiping him… His hand grabbed Kakashi’s, which was around his body, as if to hold to consciousness. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew Kakashi had finished too, may be in the same moment, since he could feel the stickiness between his butt cheeks.

“Again…”, Iruka panted heavily, voice hoarse from screaming. “Kashi… do me again…”

“Wha-what? Give us… time for… breath…”

“Breathe later! Do me now!”, Iruka commanded and Kakashi almost chuckled – he would have if Iruka hadn’t flipped them, with a strength Kakashi himself didn’t possess in that particular moment and straddled him, grabbing Kakashi’s member, which had gotten hard again, and sliding it in himself. Iruka moaned loudly, his face twisted in almost pained expression with the overwhelming pleasure he was feeling. Not stilling for a moment, he started riding Kakashi… fast…

“Fuck, Ruka!”, Kakashi couldn’t help it, seeing this wonderful creature so lost above him.

Kakashi sat up and for a moment they moved like this, both sitting, Iruka – in Kakashi’s lap, pulling on Kakashi’s silver locks, looking like he was hugging Kakashi’s head. Kakashi then put a hand on Iruka’s chest, gently pushing him to lay down, Iruka’s ass still on Kakashi’s lap, hips moving frantically, seeking completion…

“Yeeeeesssssss!.!.!”, Iruka whined desperately, tears of pleasure appearing in his eyes. “So deep…”

And then Kakashi laid down himself, his legs stretching around Iruka’s head. His hands found Iruka’s and their fingers laced, both moving faster, but it was getting harder to  move, with both of them lying down in opposite directions…

Their orgasm hit them in the same moment and kinda taking them by surprise. Their bodies not only arched up, but more like shot up, finding one another in the middle and they both sat again, riding out their orgasm like that, clinging to each other and panting heavily in each other’s necks, fingers laced in messed hair...

They stood in this comfortable embrace, which also prevented them from collapsing.

But it wasn’t over.

“Kashi love… again…”, Iruka whispered, his voice almost gone.

“No way!”, Kakashi thought, but instead he voiced out: “Ru… wha-what’s happening to you… tonight?”

“I need you…”, Iruka said desperately. “You said anything, as long as it doesn’t hurt me… Please…”

“Ok, ok… Just… gently this t-…”

“N-no! Take me like the last two times!”, Iruka moved to look him in the eyes. “Kashi… I need to know you’re not afraid to touch me. I need to feel you’re not holding back on me. I’m not made of glass, just forget the past and be with me here and now, please!”

“I-I… okay, just…”

Iruka moved to whisper in his ear.

“Take me hard and fast, go deeper like the last time… deeper… Kashi…”

“Oh, Kami, don’t do that…”, Kakashi moaned, hearing his love talking dirty. It immediately got his soldier hard again.

“Slide into me, take me in earnest, make me scream to the Heavens…”

“Fuck, Ruka!”

“Precisely…”

Kakashi couldn’t take it anymore. He made Iruka lie down, his ass still on Kakashi’s lap (but Iruka was facing the Copy Nin) and Kakashi gently slid a finger inside him. He knew then that no more stretching was needed – he could still feel his come inside his lover. Instead of toying with a horny Iruka, Kakashi simply slid inside him, very gently. Iruka took a deep breath and gulped, but didn’t flinch – he was looking Kakashi in the eyes.

“Ok?”, Kakashi asked just in case. Iruka nodded. “Grab the canopy drapes and hold on!”

Sitting on his calves, he thrust, not hard enough to hurt Iruka, but hard enough to hit his prostate dead on. Iruka screamed in white hot pleasure, hands clutching the drapes, while he was being finally fucked in earnest by his fiancée.

“Fuck yes! Fuuuuck!.!.! KASHIIII!.!.!”, he screamed, writhing and tossing in Kakashi’s lap, practically hanging in the air, fingers digging in the drapes and hips madly bucking.

“Like that?”, Kakashi asked hoarsely.

“YES! OOOOooohhhh,… Kami!”, Iruka looked like he was caught in some kind of convulsion.

“Still think I’m afraid to touch you?”

“No, Kami, don’t stop, fuck, yeah!”

“Did you scream enough?”

“Ah! Oooh! Yeeeeah!”

“Come for me….”, Kakashi only managed before his own climax hit him.

“I…Oh… KAAAAAASH-IIII…!.!.!”, Iruka spilled out, arching up for the third time this night, tears finally falling down his face. He stilled for a moment… then collapsed on the bed like a marionette with its threads cut. He had blacked out.

Kakashi chuckled quietly, still breathless, using his last strength to roll over next to Iruka, watching the peaceful face of his love. Ok…only a second to catch his breath… then he’ll go up, get a washcloth… clean them… oh, didn’t they need that… And new sheets…. Yeah, just a second…

*

Iruka awoke sometime in the middle of the night, realizing a few things – he was clean instead of sweaty and sticky; the sheets were new and clean; Kakashi was spooning him again. Iruka moaned dreamily and smiled happily.

“Mhh… you awake?”, Kakashi asked sleepily.

“Yeah.”, Iruka tried to say it normally, but it came out as a whisper. Kakashi chuckled.

“Bet you’re glad it’s Saturday… You have no voice and probably wouldn’t be able to walk for the weekend…”

“Don’t brag…”

“We’ll see…”, Kakashi chuckled.

Pause.

“Ru…”

Iruka knew that voice.

“I am ok. I’m ok now, Kakashi. You gave me what I needed. I meant that thing… about you being afraid to touch me. I really needed this tonight. I want you to take me this way from now on. Not three times”, Kakashi laughed, “…but confidently, trusting me as I trust you… completely…That was nothing like before, love. Just us, finally trusting one another, finally free of past and memories… Just you and me, Kashi. You and me.”

Another pause. A kiss on a bare shoulder.

“I love you… with my everything, all that I am…”, Kakashi whispered.

“Me too, love. Me too.”

Silence.

“Baby?”

“Hm-mm?”

“This is now officially OUR bedroom!”

They both laughed again, the sound making the room even more theirs.

 

Chapter 24 - Plans

Kakashi slowly opened his eyes to the first sun rays, entering their bedroom. He glanced sideways and had to stifle his laugher – Iruka was splayed on his belly, taking the bigger part of their king sized bed, messy hair hiding his face and a sheet covering only his perfect, round and firm ass. His gracious  back, his long strong legs and muscular arms were all shown on display for Kakashi’s hungry gaze. But what was the cute thing – there was a small wet spot under Iruka’s open mouth. He was drooling!

Kakashi put a hand on his mouth to muffle his chuckling, finally tearing his eyes from his fiancée and going to the wardrobe for some clothes. Opening the sliding door he smiled, seeing Iruka’s clothes next to his own. Again, a warm feeling crept in Kakashi’s chest and he realized he had achieved true happiness. He slid in some sweatpants and an old, baggy, but comfortable pullover and went to make coffee before he did his morning exercises.

Iruka woke, nearly an hour after Kakashi. He stretched like a cat in their bed, grumbling in pain, then stood moaning and whimpering, put on some yukata and started limping to the kitchen. Widely smiling. Oh, what a night…

He found his coffee, almost cold already and limped to the garden in search of his fiancée. He found him meditating near a small pond. Feeling too much of an egoist this morning, Iruka unceremoniously crouched over him and sat on his lap, facing Kakashi, who almost jumped from his meditation, feeling Iruka’s weight on himself. Mismatched eyes, now smiling, met frowning brown ones and Kakashi frowned too.

“Wha-…?”

“Sore.”, Iruka mumbled. Kakashi chuckled softly.

“You asked for it.”

Iruka sighed, resting his head on Kakashi’s shoulder. “I did. It was worth it.”, he said, making Kakashi kiss his head again.

They looked at each other again and smiled.

“Good morning, love.”, Kakashi said softly.

“Good morning, koi.”, Iruka grinned.

“You know, I was actually thinking of growing some koi in this pond. You like?”

“Mmmh, I like…”, Iruka agreed dreamily.

Pause.

“Ru?”

“Yeah?”

“We… need to start planning things. You know, about the wedding.”

Iruka looked up. “Oh. Right.”, he frowned a bit.

“We can… wait with it if you want…”, Kakashi started hesitantly.

“No! No, I just… Kashi, how do you see all that stuff? The wedding I mean?”

“Well… something small and simple. Few friends, quiet ceremony… May be here, the garden is nice now… I was thinking Tenzou could make a wooden carved arc and  there would be you, me and Tsunade sama under it. Yeah… something like that”, he shrugged. “Why, did you want a big white…?”

“NO!”, Iruka shook his head vigorously. Kakashi grinned slowly.

“You were afraid I was gonna want it!”, he laughed.

“Well, I’m glad you don’t!”, Iruka just said. Kakashi smiled again, softly this time.

“We gotta purchase the kimonos though…”

“You won’t make me wear white or red, right?”, Iruka stared at him again.

Grinning, Kakashi shook his head, stealing a sip from Iruka’s coffee. “Just order a new formal kimono, love, whatever you like.”

Iruka nodded. “Some invitations too may be…”, he took a sip of his coffee, taking it back from Kakashi, and sighed. “I’m finishing my coffee and we start working on the guest list. No more than 25 people!”

“Deal!”, Kakashi grinned. “Mmm, I am already glad I fell in love with you.”

“Hm?”

“You, not being one to like crowds.”, Kakashi explained.

“Hmm…”, Iruka smiled, then frowned a little. “Stag party?”, he asked.

“Do we have to?”, Kakashi whined. (Yes, really whined)

“I have an idea about that, we won’t really have to organize it…”

“Oh, I love you…”

“I know…”, Iruka smirked, kissing him smugly. He left the cup on the grass and snuggled closer to Kakashi, resting his body on the Copy Nin’s. “Mmh, just a few more minutes of peace…”

Another kiss on the top of his head showed him Kakashi’s total agreement.

 

Chapter 25 - Cold and nightmares

Iruka knew he was somewhere on the second floor in the western wing of the mansion. “Somewhere” being the key word. He decided pride was overrated and made a mental note to ask Kakashi for the damn map of the compound.

He was actually considering just jumping from a window and taking his way back into the house through the main entrance when he saw the door. Closed, but surprisingly not locked door, painted in green paint, that had peeled off here and there. There was a name, written in a childish uneven writing – Kakashi.

Kakashi’s room as a child.

Hesitantly, Iruka opened the door and stepped in. It was dark, the curtains were closed and white sheets covered every surface, the furniture making eerie shapes under the ghostly covers. Iruka lifted some of the sheets, finding a small bed, chests of drawers, some book shelves, boxes with toys… a rocking horse. He smiled at the toy, trying to imagine his strong lover and future husband playing with it.

“See anything interesting?”

Iruka jumped, gasping for air, hand above his racing heart, turning to face the owner of that deep voice.

“I didn’t mean to scare you… that badly.”

Iruka smiled faintly. “I didn’t mean to intrude.”, he said trying to read his love’s unreadable face.

Iruka turned back to look at the room, then faced his lover again.

“Were you happy here?”, he asked quietly, already knowing the most likely answer.

Kakashi shrugged. “I don’t remember.”, he looked away.

“Baby…”, Iruka’s voice was pleading.

They both used that word only in highly emotional moments. Kakashi looked up.

“I was alone here.”, he said quietly. He stepped in, grabbing a teddy bear from one of the boxes – the toy looked so small in his large hands now. “My mother died when I was four and my dad… My dad was a shinobi first and then a father. He didn’t know how to take care of a child. He took missions. He got paid. He bought toys for a son he didn’t know how to communicate with. I… I don’t blame him. No one ever taught him…”, Kakashi’s voice faded by the end.

Iruka walked slowly to his love and embraced him, very gently, from behind.

“I’ll teach you, Kashi. One day… I’ll teach you.”

It took Kakashi some time before he could mutter a quiet, shaky “thank you”.

*

That night Kakashi had nightmares again. He had those far too often for Iruka’s liking – it was a torture for him as well, seeing his love being tortured in his own dreams, tossing helplessly in their bed…

Kakashi was four again. Genius as he was he could perfectly understand the woman, whose face he didn’t know, telling him he no longer had a Mommy. A cold voice was asking his father if he was able to take care of his son on his own. For a minute Kakashi was terrified his father would shake his head and say no and Kakashi would be sent in that grey old building where the children with no parents were taken to be isolated from the others and from the world. He prepared to cry, to beg, to leave all pride only to stay with the only one he had left now… Then The White Fang simply nodded silently. Kakashi was to stay with him…

Kakashi was five and a half, staying in his room, watching through the window, and into the night, expecting his father to be back. His new rocking horse lay forgotten as Kakashi was terrified to exit his room – the mansion, this enormous empty house, was so dark and quiet and he could swear he could hear voices whispering in the shadows. He was hungry, but he was afraid to go to the kitchen…

Kakashi was seven. He didn’t wait his father anymore. He ate alone in the empty, dark house, in the kitchen he no longer was afraid to go to. He didn’t play with his toys anymore, just arranged them neatly for his father to see when he eventually got back – that was the only reason he hadn’t thrown the toys away already; they kept his father’s guilty conscience at bay…

Kakashi was thirteen; the youngest jounin ever. He came home to tell his father he had taken the exam excellently, to make him proud… Only to understand he didn’t have a father anymore. The White Fang laid face first on the tatami, a bloodied katana next to him. Seppuku… Not then, nor now Kakashi could understand the concept of honorably taking your own life, leaving a messed up teenager behind…

Kakashi was fourteen; the youngest ANBU captain. A killing machine with no feelings. He saw his enemies dying by his own hands, which were getting bloodier and bloodier. Not a single glimpse of emotion crossed his eyes, a fact that only terrified his enemies even more. Not a glimpse of emotion crossed his eyes on his friend’s funeral – two of his ANBU team. Not a glimmer of hope…

Kakashi was twenty. His eyes not leaving the younger chunin on his first day as a teacher (still with an advisor) at the Academy. Umino Iruka laughed and Kakashi’s whole day brightened. There would be some years before he even got the courage to talk to his biggest crush. His devil-may-care attitude was only another mask. And underneath it lay a child, who had no clue in expressing feelings… in simply communicating…

Kakashi was twenty seven. His biggest crush stood before him, madly blushing, hands shaking while removing his own shirt. “It’s only sex, right? Nothing more…”, Kakashi found himself saying. Some of the color of Iruka’s face drained and an almost unnoticeable wince came through his whole body. He only nodded…

It was their first time together. Kakashi had been with other partners, men and women alike, but never with someone he had liked for years. He didn’t know what to do – underneath the mask(s) he was nervous. He involuntary thrust harder. Iruka moaned. He did it again. Iruka moaned more. Kakashi had found his answer…

Kakashi was twenty eight. The man under him, the one who made such a mess in his head and soul and heart, the one he had no idea what he felt for (only knew it was strong), was begging him to stop. “Kakashi… I’m bleeding…”

Kakashi was fighting, desperately counting his remaining weapons, at the same time checking on his friends, praying that Kami sama wouldn’t take them away from him as well… One of those friends said something which made Kakashi turn, wide eyed, to see a familiar face, smiling. A smile which died as that someone ran to him, pushing him out of the way of the katana… which pierced the tan flesh, so close to the heart, so close… Blood traced down the chin, from between parted lips, smiling again, but in agony… “I… guess it doesn’t… ma-matter if I… tell you now… I love you… Hatake Kakashi…”. Eyes, beautiful, chocolate colored, deep eyes, closed slowly….

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!.!.!.!.!”, Kakashi screamed, finally waking from his horrid nightmare, jolting in the bed, panting heavily, tears running down his cheeks, cold sweat covering his whole body.

A warm hand crept on his shoulder, making him jump and turn to look at its owner. Iruka smiled a small, encouraging, “I’m-here”-smile. Kakashi’s breath hitched even more and he barely whispered “Iruka…”, before nearly crushing the smaller body in his embrace.

Iruka’s hold tightened in return and he began slowly rocking them both to calm his love. He could feel Kakashi shaking badly in his arms and although there was no sobbing, he could still feel the wetness on his bare shoulder. After some time, when his breath finally evened a bit, Kakashi began whispering a quiet mantra: “Thank you, thank you, thank you….”

Iruka didn’t ask what for. He was just there, assuming that was all Kakashi was grateful for.

*

The next morning Iruka woke earlier. He took a look at his sleeping love and his heart clenched, remembering last night’s events. It had taken Kakashi quite some time to go back to sleep, this time Iruka spooning him, holding him tight. Now, Kakashi’s brows were still furrowed, as if he still couldn’t find peace.

Iruka went to the kitchen to make coffee for both of them and some St. John’s wort tea to calm Kakashi’s nerves a bit. He decided to wake him first before starting to make breakfast and ask him what he wanted.

He went back to their bedroom with the coffee, left the cup on a coaster on Kakashi’s nightstand and bent to kiss him gently on the forehead. He instantly frowned and shook Kakashi a bit.

“Kashi? Kashi, wake up, love…”

“Mmmh…”

“Kashi, you’re burning... Tell me, does anything else hurt?”

“…My head. I… feel sick…”

“… Come now, I’ve made you coffee and some tea. Drink them and we’ll go see Tsunade sama.”

Kakashi made a heroic try to stand from the bed… only to collapse again in Iruka’s arms.

“KASHI!”

“I’m sorry, I… my legs feel like jell-o.”

“Alright then… Tsunade sama’s making a home visit!”

*

Tsunade exited the bedroom to face a fidgeting Iruka.

“How’s he?.!”

“Calm down, brat, I need you to answer some questions.”

Iruka nodded, his eyes big, sincere and shiny. Tsunade wondered how to bring the matter up.

“Iruka, has anything… happened recently, that might have shaken Kakashi… emotionally?”

Iruka’s eyes dropped and he nodded slowly, not looking at his Hokage.

“He… Yesterday I happened to walk in his childhood room and I guess that brought up memories. He… he had a nightmare last night. A real bad one, and I’ve seen a lot…”, Iruka finally looked up. “Has this anything to do with his cold?”

Tsunade nodded. “I think it has. People like Kakashi, who hide their emotions, and sometimes with years, face this problem a lot. When a soul tries to fight an emotional trauma, the body suffers too. It’s the whole organism’s way to take things easier, to give itself time to collect itself. Moving back into his old house and your wedding approaching acts as a catalyst too, I guess. So my advice is give him some time, his body will heal on its own.”

Iruka nodded. He had more than once begged Kakashi to wait for him. It was his turn to do the same. “Thanks, Tsunade sama.”

She smiled. “I’ll show myself out. Go to him.”, she smiled gently and winked. Iruka smiled too, entering the bedroom.

“Hey.”, Kakashi smiled weakly. “What’s the sentence?”

Iruka smiled mischievously. “The Hokage said you might be afraid to marry me and you’re looking for a way out.”

Kakashi’s eyes widened. “Ruka, I swear I don’t….”

Iruka laughed. “I’m just kidding, stupid. You have a cold. You have to drink lots of liquids and warm soups and citrus juice. And we have to wait for it to pass.”, he smiled lopsidedly. “It’s my turn to wait for you, I guess.”

Kakashi smiled weakly again. “Will you?”, he asked.

“Always.”, Iruka smiled; then he suddenly laughed.

“What?”, Kakashi asked, now also smiling.

“You’re rubbing it onto me! Those cheesy lines from the Icha Icha…”

It wasn’t long before they were both laughing heartily. May be they wouldn’t have to wait long.

 

Chapter 26 - Preparations

As Kakashi had told their friends, he and Iruka had agreed they would marry in a month, maximum two. So, preparations were being taken care of.

Iruka had to berate himself for almost drooling at the sight of his almost naked fiancée. Kakashi was standing in his boxers, as still as he could, Konoha’s best tailor taking his measures. A piece of some dark cloth hung loosely on him, about to become his new formal kimono, in which he was going to marry Iruka.

Kakashi caught his future husband’s hungry gaze and leered at him, but the effect was lost under the mask (because of the tailor) and a loud sneeze.

“Hatake san, stay still!”, the tailor, Sato Ichimaru, scolded him and Iruka laughed.

“Umino san, you’re next!”, Sato said and Kakashi leered again.

As the more responsible of the two Iruka took care of the invitations, decorations (the ceremony was going to be in the garden, they had agreed), the party afterwards (there again, in a stylish marquee) and every other detail.

“Are we sure we only invited 25 guests? You look like you’ve taken a third job!”, Kakashi said in a fit of guilt.

“25. Yes. Busy now. Talk later. Sex when you’re healthy. Be gone now!”, Iruka said, brows furrowed in concentration, and Kakashi had to exit the room, fast, only to burst in laugher outside.

Kakashi had told Iruka there should be some decorations left from his mother (the woman had been crazy about decorations and it could still be seen in some cozy rooms she had made and Kakashi had shown Iruka), so Iruka went looking for said decorations to see if he could use anything.

That was an hour ago.

“KAKASHI!”, a yell rang in the mansion.

With a puff of smoke and a sneeze Kakashi teleported himself next to Iruka.

“Yo.”

“I think I found the perfect room for the child!”

“…”

“What now?”, Iruka snapped.

“I thought we’ll discuss the matter again… in a few months after the wedding. You said you needed time…”

“Well yes, I just happened to find this room…”

“…”

“WHAT?.!”

“It’s in the eastern wing, Ru. Our bedroom is like in the other side of the house. How fast can you run when a baby cries and you’re too dazed from sleep to make any hand seals?”

“…”                                            

“You got lost again, didn’t you?”, Kakashi grinned.

Iruka sweatdropped. “…Yes.”

Kakashi laughed, hugging his fiancée. “Come now. I think it’s time for that map of yours.”

*

Iruka came back from work, a bit grumpy that Kakashi hadn’t picked him up. “I’m getting spoiled…”, he mentally scolded himself, walking through the heavy double gates of the outer fence of the Hatake compound.

Suddenly, a very excited Copy Nin came out of some bushes (oh, Kami, bad thoughts, bad thoughts!), grabbed Iruka’s hand and dragged them both back from where he had emerged (even WORSE thoughts!).

“Come see that…!”

“Kakashi, calm down! Stop pulling me! What!”

“See!”

“… A pond.”

“INSIDE!”

“Oh… koi.”

“YES!”

“You sound like Gai today…”

Kakashi pouted, then gestured enthusiastically to the pond.

“Just… look at them, what do you see?”

“Koi. Why are they only two?”

Kakashi sighed.

“It’s you and me. Hopefully one day there would be three koi, then four…”

“…”

“What?”

“Which one is you and which one is me?”

“I’m the one with the bigger fins.”

Iruka gasped, indignantly.

“My… ”fin” is not smaller than yours!”

Kakashi leered. “Wanna go to our own pond to check?”, he asked nodding in the direction of their bedroom.

Iruka smacked him with his teacher satchel. “You… pervert! Oh, how am I gonna spend my life with you, I wonder?”

“… Satisfied.”

“…”

Iruka couldn’t come up with a comeback. It was true after all.

 

Chapter 27 - Who’s your daddy?

(or the Not-exactly-a-stag-party)

Kakashi stood at the bar, waiting for their drinks. Wandering what he was doing here in the first place. But Iruka had wanted them to go out, ant not just anywhere, but here, a dancing club. Kakashi actually found he liked the music. He only wished Iruka was by his side – he had vaguely said “I’ll be back in a little…” and escaped – so they could lounge (not cuddle!) in a private room…

“So, he managed to drag you here…”, a voice shouted over the loud music.

Kakashi turned around only to face a smiling Izumo. He only nodded. Izumo’s smile widened.

“I hope you like dancing.”, Izumo shouted again.

“What?”, Kakashi heard him, he just didn’t get it.

“Dancing. Ruka loves…”, Izumo suddenly stopped talking, his smile widening again, and he nodded somewhere above Kakashi’s shoulder. “Why don’t you just take a look…”

Kakashi did. He turned and looked. And almost stopped breathing.

(A.N. [insert Pati Yang – Red hot black here] :D ;) )

“Is that you name

The lone stars crave

In Red Hot Black

On naked arms

in solid smoke

I recognize

The burning face I used to love



Look what you did to me….”

Black leather clothed hips, swaying with the music… black top, tanned skin, covered with a thin sheen of sweat… Wet… skin … Pure abandon, hair, freed from the usual ponytail, swaying around that face… eyes closed, in trance… lips parted, singing a word or two with the singer….

Need. Ruka. MY Ruka! That was all Kakashi’s brain could form before he realized his breathing was hitched already, his feet dragging him in Iruka’s direction.

“…I am chasing tales of the past

The only treasure that doesn't last

And it's you I looked up to…”

Izumo only smiled, before he felt a hand creeping in his own, pulling him to the dance floor. He turned and grinned to Kotetsu, his body already reacting as well, as Kakashi’s had to Iruka, and Izumo pushed himself flush to his boyfriend, till their bodies were pressing to all the right places. Kotetsu tried to stifle the moan, but Izumo heard it. He only smiled wickedly.

On the other side of the dance floor Iruka smiled slightly, eyes still closed, as two familiar arms crept around him from behind. Iruka’s right arm lifted on its own and his hand intertwined in silver locks, pulling lightly, just enough to cause a moan to escape Kakashi’s lips. Iruka’s smile widened, his body moving closer to Kakashi’s, his ass grinding in Kakashi’s crotch. He felt the hardened flesh almost in the same moment he heard the sharp intake of breath. Iruka’s smiling lips twitched slightly again. “Oh, just you wait…”. Iruka’s other hand crept around Kakashi’s hip to stop on his left buttock. He squeezed once, than twice, a bit more harshly.

Kakashi had had enough. His right hand crept down Iruka’s crotch and Kakashi grinned finding an evident bulge there. He fingered it teasingly lightly, then squeezed. Iruka moaned, arching closer to Kakashi. The Copy Nin grinned again. “Two can play that game, love…”

Kakashi’s other hand crept up Iruka’s body, pulling the top up to easily tease the already hard nipples. Neither seemed to care Iruka’s smooth tan skin was bared for everyone to see. They were making out in the middle of the dance floor, for Kami’s sake! Kakashi’s thumb brushed the left nub, then the right. Iruka’s mouth fell open, body arching again.

And then he moved away. Kakashi’s eyes shot open wide. Iruka only smiled again, now facing Kakashi.

What, more games? Kakashi grinned. “Come to Daddy…”

Kakashi’s hand shot forward and grabbed Iruka’s black top, pulling the teacher close to the Copy Nin again. Kakashi’s face got only inches away from Iruka’s.

“Don’t run from me…”, he said, but in the loud music his voice sounded like a whisper.

“Won’t you chase after me?”, Iruka teased back, smirking and arching an eyebrow.

“Everywhere…”, Kakashi grinned, face moving closer. Iruka pulled back again.

“I’m not kissing you through the mask”, he said.

Not thinking twice, Kakashi almost ripped the mask away. Iruka stared mesmerized, at Kakashi’s face, bare before all those people… but somehow – only for Iruka to see. Their lips hovered above the others’ ones, still not kissing.

The song changed, slowly and smoothly. (A.N. [insert Massive Attack – Dissolved Girl here]) The new beat, intertwining with the old one got some heart beating hint in it and in the same moment Kakashi could feel Iruka’s heartbeat as well as Iruka pressed himself to the Copy Nin again. Kakashi looked at his lover’s face and saw the smile, that smile. Iruka knew that song (the little music freak he was!) and loved it. “Alright then… slowly now…”, Kakashi thought, his own hips swaying tantalizingly with the new beat. Iruka’s body, flushed to his own again, moved with Kakashi’s in perfect sync. Grinding… slightly touching, all the right places… Kakashi closed his eyes…

“Shame, such a shame

I think I kind of lost myself again…”

It was like they were making love, right there in the middle of the dance floor. Moving slowly, like their favorite foreplay… Driving each other mad with desire… slowly sinking in that insanity….

“Say, say my name

I need a little love to ease the pain…”

Iruka’s hands intertwined in the silver locks again, pulling lightly, just the way he knew Kakashi liked it, then slowly moved to the neck, the pecks, the rock hard abs. Kakashi’s fingers followed the opposite path – from Iruka’s ass, squeezing gently, up his spine, to the waterfall of chocolate colored hair. Their lips continued to hover above the other ones’ , not kissing, only teasing, their breaths mingling… That was the most erotic moment in Kakashi’s whole life… Feeling his member stiffening even more, he closed his eyes again and bit his bottom lip, trying to swallow the moan…

“I could fake it

But I still want more…”

Their eyes opened and they stared intently at each other, the suddenly dangerous sounding beat their only background. Iruka smirked just as dangerously and turned his back to Kakashi again…

Iruka grinded his ass in Kakashi’s painfully hard member. Kakashi arched to him and bit his bare shoulder to muffle his own cry.

“Kami…”, he breathed out in his lover’s ear, arms holding Iruka almost painfully hard…

“Say, say my name….”

Iruka turned again and Kakashi rested his brow against his.

“Take me…”, Kakashi breathed out, eyes closed, breath tickling Iruka’s lips.

“Here?”, Iruka grinned.

Mismatched eyes cracked open again. It actually looked like Kakashi was considering Iruka’s question like an offer. Iruka’s belly tightened with want, but he decided to play this out. He moved closer so he could actually whisper in Kakashi’s ear.

“You want me to make you mine, before all those people? You want them to watch us as I thrust my hard cock into your tight hot flesh, claiming you as mine? For all to see?”

“Oh, Kami….”, Kakashi moaned, his voice strained and pained.

He was feeling like a damn teenager. Like a boy about to come in his pants only by his lover talking to him… dirty little words. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t say anything now. He only looked up pleadingly at Iruka, trying to express with his eyes what he couldn’t voice with his mouth. Seeing Iruka’s dry swallowing, he’d made it.

“Come with me, Kakashi…”

Kakashi didn’t know how they managed to get in the storeroom; he guessed not only Izumo and Kotetsu had smirked or even laughed watching them almost running to said storeroom, with obvious tents in their pants, obviously to get rid of said tents. He only knew he found himself pressed against the door, a horny Iruka kissing him madly.

“Ruka… come on… in me…”, he only managed.

Iruka looked around them as if searching for a place to lay him down.

“Do it here… against the door, come on…”, Kakashi panted. Iruka shook his head.

“You’re not ready for this, you’re too new into this…”

Kakashi bent forward so he could whisper in a voice that could drive anyone insane with want.

“Take me…now!”, Kakashi demanded, unzipping Iruka’s pants and pulling out the hard and leaking member. Iruka’s hands clumsily pulled down Kakashi’s jeans, and Kakashi pulled off his ANBU black top himself, being now completely naked before Iruka. The Copy Nin stepped out of his jeans, his legs immediately going around Iruka’s waist.

“Hurry, I won’t last long…”, Kakashi warned.

“You’re not even prepared…”, Iruka reminded.

Kakashi whimpered in frustration. Kakashi. Whimpered.

That did it. Iruka’s hand smeared the precome, leaking from Kakashi’s member over the Copy Nin’s entrance, then smeared his own precome over his own hard on. That had to do.

He went in slowly. Kakashi moaned, a loud and long sound, his eyes closed, head hitting the door, body arching to Iruka’s.

“Go on…”, he urged with a strained voice.

“Just… give yourself a second…”, Iruka insisted.

“Ruka, I’m so hard and horny, I’m gonna burst any second now! Move, damn it!”

Iruka complied, still a bit hesitantly, but not going slowly or easy anymore. Five well aimed thrusts were all Kakashi needed before he cried out, head hitting the door hard, and coming even harder between their bodies.

Iruka hesitated again. He hadn’t come and needed more than a few thrusts to finish. He didn’t want Kakashi to hurt. There was only one other option…. He smirked mischievously.

Still panting and gasping hard, Kakashi almost stopped breathing when he felt something on his sensitive nipples. He made the mistake to open his eyes and look. “Oh… Kami sama…!”

Iruka was licking a bit of Kakashi’s come, which had ended up on his nipples. He licked the substance away, then sucked the nub hard.

“Oh…!”

Kakashi was hard again, Iruka still in him. Iruka grinned.

“Get on your hands and knees, Kakashi…”

Kakashi complied immediately. As soon as he took the position he felt Iruka’s member entering him again. He thrust gently at first, moaning – an almost pained sound.

“Kashi, I… I won’t last long, love…”

“Do it quickly, Ruka, finish us both…”

Oh, he needed so little, Iruka knew. But Kakashi? He had just orgasmed, he needed some more…

“Kashi, you feel so good, love… all tight and slick with my come still inside you… I love making you mine that way… Do you like it too?”

Ah, dirty talking! Kakashi immediately got one step closer to the end just by that!

“Oh, Kami, yeah!”, he moaned.

“You like being taken that way? Against the door? On the floor on all fours?... Hard?”

“Yes!”, he screamed. So close… They both were so close…

Iruka grinned. Okay… One… final…

“Who’s your Daddy, Kakashi?”, Iruka hissed, thrusting hard at Kakashi’s sweet spot.

“IRUKAAAAA!”, Kakashi screamed, collapsing from his second orgasm, this time taking Iruka along with himself.

They both laid there, a pile of heated flesh and sweat, panting and fighting for each breath.

“That… was… hot…”, Kakashi gasped. Iruka grinned.

“Y-Yeah…”

Another minute passed.

“You know… they’re probably waiting for us to come out so they could pick up some bottles…”, Iruka pointed out.

Kakashi couldn’t help it – he burst laughing,  entailing Iruka with himself.

“They’ll wait. After all, we’re the ones paying their drinks tonight.”, Kakashi pointed out, again amazed by his fiancée’s genius in proposing that idea – paying for all the guys’ drinks tonight as/instead of a stag party.

 Iruka nodded, grinning and agreeing with Kakashi. He snatched two bottles of beer from a nearby crate, opened them and passed the first one to Kakashi. They clinked the bottles.

“Here’s to our last bachelors’ night and a Not-exactly-a-stag-party”, Iruka grinned.

Kakashi grinned in return, kissing him sweetly. “My sweet escape…”, he simply said.

 

Songs are listed in the text.

 

Chapter 28 - The onsen

Iruka laid relaxed in Kakashi’s embrace, his back to Kakashi’s front, watching the sunset painting the sky in rose and purple hues. He sighed.

“I can’t believe it’s over.”, he said.

“Hmm…”, was Kakashi’s only response.

“It was beautiful…”

“You were beautiful.”

Iruka chuckled. “Too much Icha Icha”, he thought again, but instead he voiced out:

“But I’m glad it’s over though. I’m tired.”

“… How tired?”, there was a funny alarm in Kakashi’s voice now and Iruka chuckled again.

“Relax, Kakashi, there will be sex on our wedding night.”

“I didn’t mean… Ok, so I did mean it.”

They both laughed, but then  Kakashi’s voice whispered seductively in Iruka’s ear:

“Cause I’ve planned something special for my husband tonight.”

Turning back a little, Iruka smiled slyly.

“Yeah? Well I got a little surprise too. Will you behave?”

“… I’ll do my best.”

“Go lie in the bed…”

Kakashi complied quickly, laying in the king sized bed in their honeymoon suite at the best onsen around Konoha. Not that they came here for the bed (they had an even bigger one at home), but this one was gonna endure one hell of a night! … And there was always the hot spring just outside, in a private garden, just for the two of them…

Now, however, Kakashi laid expecting in the bed, watching his husband intently. His husband… Iruka had even taken his last name, even insisting on that. When Kakashi had said he didn’t have to, Iruka had said he wanted to, if that was ok with Kakashi. Needless to say, it was more than okay. Hatake Iruka… Kakashi’s heart swelled with pride.

When Kakashi had asked him why though, Iruka had only smiled mysteriously and explained that his own last name wasn’t that popular or had such a history and it wasn’t such a problem if it died with him – his parents weren’t ones for traditions and continuing the name; they had always said they just wanted him to be happy. On the other hand, Iruka knew how much it meant for Kakashi, not only because his name was one to be continued, but also for Kakashi himself. Iruka simply said he wanted to please his husband. But Kakashi knew there was more. Just didn’t know what…

Nor did he know what was to come now.

Iruka began to slowly, torturously slowly pull off his clothes. The beautiful light blue silk of his kimono fell on the floor, pooling like water around his ankles, along with the white sash. By the time only the hakama were left Kakashi’s breath had hitched already…

The last piece of Iruka’s official clothing fell on the floor, leaving him only in his boxers. Boxers, that made Kakashi moan with desire and his member to twitch in anticipation. Tight black boxers… with bold red letters saying “Kakashi’s”. Iruka smiled shyly.

“You like?”, he asked. Kakashi nodded vigorously. Iruka chuckled. “A wedding gift from Izumo.”, he explained.

Kakashi made a mental note to thank his best man next time he saw him. But now… he had a husband to please.

He smiled mischievously and patted the bed next to him.

“Switch. It’s my turn.”

As he stood, Iruka obediently laid on the bed, right on Kakashi’s place. Unlike him, Kakashi didn’t lose time to make a show of undressing himself – he did it with quick, accurate movements, mismatched eyes holding Iruka’s intently, not even blinking. Soon he stood before his husband only in tight, icy blue boxers. He slowly crawled between Iruka’s legs and looked up. Iruka’s breath was hitched as well, his body already trembling…

“You’re shaking.”, Kakashi observed.

“I’m nervous.”, Iruka admitted, blushing.

“Why? We’ve been there, done this before…”

Iruka smiled lopsidedly. “But we’re married now. Our first night as the Hatakes…”, Kakashi grinned widely and his heart went racing again in his ribcage, swelling with pride. “I… have to be up to standard for my husband.”

Kakashi chuckled, shaking his head. “Baby… you’ll always be levels above me. My miracle, who chose me…”

Again, Iruka smiled shyly, but his body relaxed a little. Kakashi took a deep breath.

“Ru, love… What I was planning for tonight might be a bit… overwhelming for you. How far are you willing to let me go tonight?”

Iruka blushed again, gulping, eyes on the sheets. “You know how far. Anything, as long as it doesn’t h-hurt me…”

Kakashi swallowed dryly, then gently kissed Iruka’s bare knee, looked up again and said passionately: “I promised you I would never hurt you again, ever. And tonight I’m making another promise… From this night on I’ll do the impossible to make you feel loved, cherished and so ultimately satisfied, in any way, that you’re gonna want to cry from pleasure…”

Iruka gulped again – he knew Kakashi took his promises very seriously.

Kakashi’s tongue was suddenly on Iruka’s knee, the same one he had kissed before, and was making a slow, hot trail up the inner side of Iruka’s trembling thigh, reaching just the hem of the black boxers.

“What I’ve planned for you tonight… Ruru… will only leave you begging… moaning… crying… for more…”

Kakashi’s hot tongue was on the hard swell of Iruka’s still clothed member, tracing some strange lines, driving Iruka mad, crazy… It took him some time to realize Kakashi was (insanely slowly!) following the red letters with his own name on Iruka’s boxers.

Suddenly something, or rather someone, shifted behind Iruka, hugging him from behind, making him almost jump out of his own skin! Iruka turned, terrified and dazed, questions mixing in his head – how had he not seen anyone else move, how had Kakashi not seen the stranger, or had he planned it too, what was he think-… Iruka turned back completely,… only to face his husband again. Iruka’s head moved quickly back to stare between his legs, where, yes, was Kakashi. Back – Kakashi. Front, between legs – Kakashi.

“H-how… I didn’t see… smoke…?”, Iruka mumbled confused. Was he so dazed he didn’t see the smoke of a jutsu…?

Kakashi chuckled smugly. “It’s not Kage Bunshin. It’s another little trick of mine. When using clones you are able to feel what they had felt only after they disappear and their memories return to you. This jutsu I am using now allows me to feel what each of my copies feel… in the same time, here and now. And… allows me more hands… and lips… ant tongues… to please my husband properly.”, Kakashi said between licks on Iruka’s still clothed (damn it!) member. Iruka was slowly beginning to understand what it was to be married to a man, who knew a thousand jutsu-s.

The one Kakashi hugging Iruka from behind gently made Iruka comfortable between his (Kakashi’s) legs and began running his hands slowly up and down Iruka’s body, occasionally brushing the hard nipples. Iruka’s breath was now series of gasps.

“Kashi… please… Oh, Kami, you want me to beg, ne…?”, he panted.

Kakashi chuckled between his legs.

“Well… I love it when you beg… but I love you more… so I’ll show you mercy this time…”

With one fast movement Iruka’s boxers were gone and he hissed, feeling the colder air on his heated flesh. Only for a second. Then something even hotter and wet embraced Iruka’s member again.

“KAMI!”, Iruka screamed.

Kakashi, the real one Iruka assumed, began bobbing his head, while the one from behind caught Iruka’s arms, so he couldn’t even grasp the sheets. Kakashi’s tongue swirled around his husband’s pulsating cock, then licked the head, giving more attention to the slit, then making insanely slow circles around the swollen head; then he continued with small licks on the underside of the head, small teasing, but thankfully faster, cat licks…

Iruka’s screams of Kakashi’s name turned into incoherent gasps, moans and outright yells. He was losing it…

But it wasn’t over.

Another one, third Kakashi, appeared on Iruka’s left side. Not that he saw that. But he felt his tongue onto his sensitive nipples and down his abs. Licks turned sucking on the nubs, then gentle bites…

“Ah…Baby, you taste so good…”

“AAAaAaAaaAaAHhhh!”

Iruka couldn’t even warn Kakashi he was there – he just burst in Kakashi’s mouth with a scream that would no doubt have woken the entire onsen… had they not rented it for themselves only. Kakashi let Iruka ride out his orgasm, bucking madly into his mouth until he collapsed, spent, in the arms of the second Kakashi, the one behind him. Kakashi between his legs swallowed, brushed off the little white streak running down his chin and grinned to the sight of a very heavy breathing Iruka, eyes looking dazed and defocused.

“You like, baby?”, he asked innocently.

“Mmmhg…”, Iruka was almost sure he knew how to speak once but couldn’t remember how to do it right now. He gulped and nodded instead.

Kakashi chuckled.

“Hmmm… How many times you want to climax tonight, Ru?”

Iruka opened his eyes and looked at his husband almost scared. Oh, that look… Iruka gulped again. Kakashi grinned.

“Should I give you a minute before I take you there again?”

If Iruka had at some point been afraid Kakashi was insecure while satisfying him, he was not anymore. He was now positive Kakashi was more than enough sure in his own abilities to make his husband scream with pleasure.

“May be I’ll add some more players… What do you say, uhm?”

For a second Iruka wondered if he would die from pleasure on his own wedding night.

“I-I…”

Nope, he couldn’t form a straight thought. He was left in Kakashi’s mercy. And judging from the look in his husband’s eyes he was quite aware of that.

Kakashi grinned widely. “May be I’ll give you what you want… pure… completion…”

The third Kakashi handed something to the one between his legs – a small tube of lube; but not the one Iruka was used to. Kakashi smiled to him and opened it, so the room was instantly filled not with Kakashi’s, but Iruka’s favorite smell…

“Ch-Chocolate…”, Iruka choked, wide eyed and… happy. (:D)

Kakashi only smiled again. A lubed finger started tracing Iruka’s opening, torturously slowly again. Iruka whimpered. Kakashi grinned.

“What do you want, Ruru…?”

“… I-Inside…”

“Inside where?”

Iruka wanted to hit him. Hard!

“M-me…!”

The first finger slid in slowly and moved in and out more than enough times, considering how many times they’ve done it – Iruka was still tight, but not that tight…

“S-Stop… t-teas-sing…”, Iruka managed.

Kakashi chuckled, entering the second finger, moving once, twice… thrice.

“G-Go on… already…”

“Hmm…”

Something hot and hard slid slowly inside him, very, very gently; but Kakashi hadn’t moved from between his legs. It wasn’t before he felt the little movement behind him and the low grunt of pleasure that Iruka remembered the one behind him… the one now moving inside him…. Slowly thrusting… not hard enough to reach….

“Kashi…”, Iruka whimpered desperately.

“All in time…”, Kakashi between his legs muttered, bending again…

Kami… had he always been such an expert in blow jobs? Iruka was certain it had been good before… but not that good…

A slow lick from base to top, suck the head, lightly now, bob your head once, twice, take the member out… With only the tip of your tongue lick the slit, dip it in, move fast, once… five times… Stop. Slowly circle the head, once, twice… Take it in and suck harder, only once. Take it out. Lick the underside of the head with small cat licks, moving your tongue up and down, fast…

Heh, Iruka may have laughed, but that special yaoi edition of the Icha Icha was priceless! Kakashi doubted Iruka would laugh again…

Iruka was openly crying now, tears streaking down his cheeks, practically sobbing, because he couldn’t even breathe properly. Oh, he was indeed doomed to die from pleasure on his wedding night, he was sure…

Kakashi himself was feeling almost the same way. He was feeling his husband’s tight hot flesh engulfing him, he was feeling his husband’s member in his mouth and he was feeling husband’s hot flesh, sucking his nipples… all in the same time, in the same perfect moment! He loved that jutsu…

He knew Iruka was close, like himself. But he had to make it even better, almost unbearable…

Another Kakashi appeared around Iruka’s right ankle, sucking on a spot he knew to be erogenous for Iruka; Kakashi between his legs still sucking him, the one behind still thrusting in him and the on the side still sucking Iruka’s nipples! Another Kakashi appeared on the other side of Iruka and began sucking on that special place between Iruka’s neck and shoulder, leaving an angry red hickey, marking him as Kakashi’s… It almost looked like… all Kakashi-s were feasting on Iruka…

Iruka was gone… he was sure of it. His mind was totally fried up. His prostate being hit repeatedly, hard, his member being sucked just as hard, professionally, his whole body being licked and sucked all to the right places… Too much, too much…

One last powerful thrust… One last hard suck… He knew he was… there… Heaven.

Kakashi was the only one who could scream and he did, all of his copies screamed, feeling the same powerful orgasm. Iruka couldn’t even make a sound. His mouth hung open in a silent scream, his eyes wide, crying and unseeing, his whole body shaken with powerful pulsating shocks of pleasure. He didn’t know his name or where he was… but he knew who he belonged. And the one he belonged was there, holding him… so everything was… right. Perfect and whole.

…

When he finally came to Kakashi was looking at him, smiling gently, resting on an elbow.

“Welcome back.”, he said softly and Iruka tried to smile under his drying tears.

“How are you feeling?”, Kakashi asked lovingly.

“I-I f-feel… like… C-Crying… from pleasure…”, Iruka grinned. He knew then that his married life will be… interesting. And satisfying!

 

Chapter 29 - Now you’ll listen to me

Their fingers locked together. That was the first thing Iruka saw when he woke up that morning and it was enough to make him grinning like a  fool. A weight on his back told him their spoons way of sleeping had sometime in the night turned into Kakashi laying mostly on top of him, hugging him as if Iruka was a giant teddy bear. Hesitantly, Iruka wriggled his ass.

“OOhmmpf!”, he bit the pillow to muffle his moan of pain.

Immediately, Kakashi’s weight shifted, no longer crushing him, and worried mismatched eyes came into view.

“Ru, love?”, Kakashi whispered worried.

“Damn ANBU thing, light sleepers…”, Iruka thought, but for Kakashi he tried to smile and said “C-consequences… of last night’s romp… ”

Big mistake. Iruka should have known this subject still was, and maybe always will be, too delicate.

Kakashi’s eyes widened, terrified.

“I did it again, didn’t I? Even when I only wanted to please you, I hurt you again… I… Maybe it was a mistake, maybe I should have stayed away from you, just to not hurt you…”

“Kakashi….!”

The sheets were gone, Kakashi’s stare looking for red stains. He didn’t find any and Iruka saw the pure relief on his face, heard the quiet whispers “Thank Kami, thank Kami sama….!”

“Kakashi…”

“What can I do for you, Ruka? Anything, just say it! Painkillers? Bath?...Or.. D-do you want me… to go away…”

“I want my husband to come lie next to me and hug his properly fucked husband, whose knees are still weak from pleasure.”, Iruka smiled softly. “Now you will listen to me Hatake Kakashi. Last night was nothing like before. And from now on, no matter how rough we become, lost in each other, it will never be like before. Even if we get a bit more sore in the morning it will never be like before. You wanna know why? Because now I know, see and feel you do really love me. THAT is what I missed before. THAT is what caused my pain before. As long as you really love me, like now, you can never hurt me, you hear me? And now you will listen some more. Kakashi, as much as we love making love, when we were made mother Nature didn’t really see things like we see them now. You see, the way you go inside was originally made to be a “one way street”… in the other direction. And was not originally made to endure my husband’s nine inches.”, Iruka grinned, seeing a small smile creeping into Kakashi’s face along with a slight blush. “What I am trying to say is, that it is more than natural to be a bit more sore from time to time. As long as you’re here in the morning, I am ok with that. I promise. I’ll tell you if I’m not. And I can swear to you last night was more than worth it and I would be pretty content if it was to happen again. Ok?”

Kakashi nodded slowly. Iruka grinned mischievously.

“But… the bath did sound good…”

*

Two days passed. Two days after their romp and out of their honeymoon. … No sex.

Iruka couldn’t even believe it! He was missing sex from his perverted husband!

Not that Kakashi let that show. He didn’t just leave his husband staring at a point in wall, oh no! Walks, first it was walks.

“Did you know that this area is known for its…”, Kakashi gabbled, two steps before Iruka.

Iruka didn’t wanna know what the place was famous with. He wanted to make their own memories of said place.

Then there were picnics.

“Look at this meadow, do you like it?”

“I’d like it if you take me in the middle of it…”, Iruka thought, but instead just sighed and nodded.

On the third day Iruka had had enough!

“Kakashi did we came back from where we started?”, he asked while they were having dinner.

“Huh?”, a very intelligent answer, suitable for a genius…

“Are you afraid to touch me again?”

“I’m NOT… afraid!”, Kakashi said grimly.

“Prove it then! Take me right now!”

“… No.”

“WHY!.?”, Iruka almost whined.

“… I’m… giving you time, ok? To h-heal… n-not being… sore…”

“But Kashi love…”

“No! I’m not risking it anymore!”

On the fourth day… Iruka took things in his own hands. Kinda… literally.

“Come take a bath with me.”

“Hm?”, Kakashi lifted his gaze from the book, thankfully NOT an Icha Icha.

“Come with me in the hot spring.”, Iruka said again.

Kakashi obeyed. They stripped in silence, then Kakashi entered the pool, stretching his hand to help Iruka get in too. Kakashi then sat with his back to the wall and Iruka between his legs, back to Kakashi’s front. Night had fallen and a beautiful full moon shone from the cloudless sky, making the whole view magical. They sat like that for a while, in silence, just enjoying the view and each other’s company.

“I wanna do something”, Iruka suddenly said, turning around to lock gazes with Kakashi. “I wanna do something to you and I promise you you’ll like it. Just, whatever I do, whatever worries might creep in your mind, don’t do anything to stop me.”

“Iruka…”

“Just remember that…I’m a ninja too… Kashi… can hold my breath… for a while…”, Iruka whispered huskily in his ear, driving him slowly mad.

Holding his husband’s gaze, Iruka slowly slid down the firm and wet body, disappearing under the water. Just a moment later Kakashi almost jumped outta his skin, feeling a soft tongue on his hardening member. A hot mouth soon swallowed the hot pulsing flesh… and sucked.  Kakashi’s jaw clenched, he threw his head back, eyes rolling to the back, breathing quickly and shallowly through his nose. He desperately tried not to thrust into that hot mouth… which suddenly left his shaft slip off only to go lower, first licking and then sucking his balls.

“Oh, Kami…. ”, the words rolled between Kakashi’s dry lips…

Iruka’s tongue slid between Kakashi’s balls, right on that tiny spot he knew was driving Kakashi mad…

“OH FUCK!”, this time Kakashi’s hips shot up and he couldn’t stop himself.

Iruka’s tongue went up again, teasing the slit…

“Ha-haaah, …  Kaaaami sama-aaaaah!”, Kakashi’s fingers were desperately clawing at the stone paving around the pool, not daring to slid in Iruka’s chocolate tresses right now…

It someone were to see him right now Kakashi would have probably looked like having a seizure, or as if some kind of powerful convulses were wrecking his body. All that could be seen was a body, tossing in the spring… alone.

Back under the water however, another suck took Kakashi one step closer to the edge…

“Mmmmhhhh!...”

And when he thought it couldn’t get better, a finger slowly entered him, slicked with the water, hitting his prostate dead on.

“HAAAAAAHHHHH!”, he howled into the night, coming hard in his husband’s mouth.

Iruka let him ride out his orgasm, swallowing all, then slowly emerging above the water only to see his messed up, heavily panting, lust gazed husband.

“Now you’ll listen to me again.”, Iruka said with a low husky voice, almost threateningly. “I’m not gonna be one of those frustrated married guys, bracing the idea of sex being all but over after the wedding. I am your husband. I need you to have sex with me regularly, which you’ll damn well do so! I think I made my point earlier when I told you that as long as you love me it will never be like before and no matter how rough we get we will always make love and not just fuck. And believe me, if you, by any means somehow slip and hurt me, I will stop you this time. So deal with whatever dilemmas you have and perform your duties! OK?.! Whenever I say so, it means I want it; and I know my body well enough to know when it can deal with my desires. Also, I believe you are aware I can make you do whatever I want you to do – I think I made my point just now. How many times do I need to make you come till you finally do as I want and take me?” 

Kakashi swallowed hard, fighting to get his voice back. After that little speech Lil Kashi was stone hard again. Kakashi gulped again. He found the strength to mutter only two words:

“Bed. NOW!”

That night Hatake Iruka certainly made his point. The subject of performing a husband’s duties was never brought up again.

Needless to say, they were both limping in the morning…

 

Chapter 30 - Make  a wish

Kakashi was slightly smiling, watching his Ruka. They were having breakfast and his husband was sitting across, but still close to him – eyes sleepy and half shut even while Iruka was slowly chewing on his tamagoyaki, hair ruffled and messy… a bright red love bite on the right on his neck. Kakashi thought, no Kakashi knew, there was nothing more beautiful and just perfect than Iruka. His Iruka.

Pride once again filled Kakashi’s chest. Pride and love he had to show.

“I’m taking you out tonight”, he said.

“Hmm?”, Iruka mumbled incoherently, still trying to wake – Kakashi had kept him awake till 3 am!

“I’m taking you out when the night falls”, Kakashi said again. “There’s a lake nearby, a rather big one. Tonight might be a good time to go see it.”

Iruka frowned a bit – it was the last day of their honeymoon and Kakashi wanted to go see a lake, when they had their personal hot spring here? Well… may be  a few months ago Iruka would have said “The hell?.! We’re stayin’ here!”, but now… now the key words were “Kakashi wanted”.

“Ok…”

 *

“Ouch! Kakashi! Why the hell did we have to walk on these dark paths, instead of simply jumping on the trees, like normal ninjas?.! The moon reaches the upper branches, but hardly lights the ground!”

“Can’t we be normal people for once instead of normal ninjas?”

“Uuum, yeah, when we’re soaking in the hot spring!”

“Hatake Iruka, I love you with all that I am, but for Kami’s sake, please stop whining already!”

“Hn. This better be good, Kakashi, or you’re sleeping on the couch for the next few nights when we get back home!”

Again, a few months ago Kakashi would have said something like “I’ll sleep wherever the hell I want in my own house!”; but now the key words were “we” and “home”. Kakashi only smiled widely.

A few more steps. A gasp. “I’m so not sleeping on the couch~…”, Kakashi couldn’t help but think, mentally rubbing hands in delight.

“Oh… Kashi…”

The moon wasn’t full anymore, but it was big enough to illuminate the lake, which was indeed a very big one. But that wasn’t the thing that made Iruka gasp…

Paper lanterns. Dozens of paper lanterns, being lit by the few people on the shore, were floating in the night sky, making the whole view… magical. Yellow and red and orange were glowing softly in the  night as if fairies had come to give the humans some of their light.

“Wait here…”, Kakashi said quietly and Iruka only nodded, watching the lantern lit sky mesmerized.

Had Kakashi known? That when Iruka was a kid he had once seen something like that on a festival he had went to with his parents… It had been in the middle of a meadow though, and not as beautiful as this one… But 5 years old Iruka had watched with big shiny eyes, silently praying to see this again one day… And now, 27 years old, married, Iruka was watching this again… even more beautiful than before…

“Hey…”

Kakashi came back with two folded pieces of paper and a small candle. He gave the candle to Iruka and unfolded the first lantern, in the same time explaining.

“There’s a festival here, every year around this time of the month. I saw it once when I was going back to Konoha from a mission. I stopped and they told me, so I knew… I planned our honeymoon so that day was the last of it… I wanted you to see this.”

Iruka just smiled and bent a little to press a gentle kiss on Kakashi’s cheek (his lips being covered by the mask again). He then whispered a simple “thank you” in Kakashi’s ear.

Both their lanterns were unfolded now and Kakashi lit them with the candle. When he was sure the lanterns were properly lit he instructed Iruka to hold them still for a while and went to leave the candle floating on the surface of the lake, just like many others. Iruka watched mesmerized.

Kakashi came back next to his love and quietly said: “Make a wish, Ru…”

They both stared at their own lantern before silently letting them float above the lake.

“I wish that we stay like this, happy… forever…”, Iruka thought.

“I wish for a family… a real family with him…”, Kakashi silently prayed.

They sat on the grass around the lake, in their favorite position – Iruka between Kakashi’s legs, back to Kakashi’s front, and just embraced each other, watching the magical view.

 

Chapter 31 - Already Changed

“Hello, Umi-, I mean, Hatake san!”

“Hello, Takuma san.”

“I see you are back from your honeymoon. I hope it was a good one.”

“A very good one.”

“And first day back to work, must be tiring…”

“Well… yes.”, they both laughed nervously, then Iruka smiled. “But my remedy is about to come to me… right about now.”

As if on cue Kakashi appeared in a puff of smoke, kissing him even before the smoke had disappeared.

“Kashi…”, Iruka warned, giving a pointed look towards their audience.

“What, can’t I kiss my husband?”

“In the schoolyard?”

“Maa… happened before…”

“Ka.. oh, just… we’ll talk later. I am sorry, Takuma san.”

The woman, one of his children’s mother, smiled nervously again.

“N-no, no! Hatake san is right, uuuh… Hatake san! You are family, it is most normal to show your love.”

Kakashi decided he liked the woman. “See?”, he told Iruka, then smiled to the woman. “Thank you, Takuma san.”

“Not at all!”, she bowed a little, smiled again and bid them a good day, picking her son from the playing ground.

“That really wasn’t necessary, Kakashi.”, Iruka said, walking to the main gate.

Kakashi sighed. It was. It was necessary for him, like the air he breathed. He’d have to tell him soon.

“Come, we need to buy some things for dinner.”, Iruka said.

*

They walked up the main street, towards the mansion, Kakashi bringing all the bags with groceries and Iruka frowning.

“Let me get at least one!”

“No.”

“Kakashi, I am not a woman!”

“I know that, Ru.”, Kakashi leered. “I just want to be a good husband… and prove I am good for you.”

“Prove to whom, Kakashi?”, Iruka asked quietly.

Silence.

“You. Me. Everyone…”, Kakashi finally said.

“Baby…”, Iruka started, emotions swirling in his chest.

“Carrots! You said you needed carrots, right! I see some over there!”, Kakashi almost ran in that direction. Iruka smiled lopsidedly – Kakashi and emotional declarations still didn’t go well.

Five minutes later:

“Goodbye, Hatake san and Hatake san! Come back again!”, the shopkeeper waved a hand, smiling widely.

“I wonder if they act like that because they are afraid from you…”, Iruka mused.

“Oooor… maybe they are happy for us.”, Kakashi pointed out.

“I don’t know. It still seems strange to me… everyone being so understanding and acknowledging a gay couple in a ninja world…”

Again, Kakashi decided they’d have to have that conversation soon. Iruka simply didn’t notice some things.

“Aaaawww, look, Tetsu, the love birds have flown back to the nest!”

Kakashi and Iruka turned around. A grinning Izumo and a chuckling Kotetsu came into sight. Iruka grinned as well.

“Hey, guys.”

“How was the honeymoon? And please do tell me which room you were at, we’re thinking of a vacation and I am sure that hot spring is totally tainted, so we’ll avoid it!”

“Uuhm, no, Zumo, I can assure you it is as clean as ever. I swallow.”, Iruka simply said, all serious.

Kotetsu and Izumo paled – that was an information they didn’t want to know!

Kakashi and Iruka burst laughing in the same moment.

“Oh, these faces! Priceless!”

“You tainted them, Ru! They are still so innocent…”

“Oh, who are you kidding! I bet we’ll be going to another wedding soon.”

“Bet, you said?”, Kakashi asked mischievously.

“What?”, Iruka narrowed his eyes, the smile still playing on his lips.

“They marry in a half a year and you’re buying yourself a sexy bunny costume, with a bunny tail!”

“Three months and you’re buying yourself red lacy panties!”

“Oh, Kami…”, came quietly somewhere from Kotetsu or Izumo. Still looking at each other, with something more than love and passion, Iruka and Kakashi smiled wider, then decided to stop torturing their friends.

“Come visit us tomorrow, I’ll make banana pie.”, Iruka winked to Izumo.

“I think we’ll take the offer”, Izumo smiled widely and they all laughed.

“See you tomorrow then, bye guys!”

*

It was after midnight when Iruka woke, his ninja instincts screaming something was wrong. Iruka opened his eyes only to meet his husband’s mismatched ones.

“What is it?”, he asked sleepily, not really alarmed when Kakashi was next to him.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you? I’ll… Go back to sleep, we’ll talk in the morning.”

“No… I’m awake now, go on…”

Kakashi smiled gently. “I can go on even when you sleep.”

Iruka gave him a questioning look. Kakashi sighed.

“I didn’t mean to wake you to tell you something. I was just watching you. Can’t seem to stop myself.”

“Huh?”

“I… I’m getting kinda… addicted, Iruka. The more I get from you - the more I want, the more time we spend together - the stronger it gets… I have the very physical need to be close to you, to touch and feel you, or even just watch you. I think I’m becoming a bore.”, Kakashi smiled apologetically.

Iruka smiled slowly, fully awake now. Kakashi continued.

“I don’t think you’ve really noticed. I… I’ve changed. Not just in the way I am with you. My whole self changed. Because… I’m happy.”

Iruka grinned wider.

“And people see it and are happy for us, because, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been happy before. Ever. And now I am and people see it.”

Iruka was now fighting back a tear, caused by his own happiness, so he had an idea what Kakashi was talking about.

“I feel so different. Sometimes I can’t even recognize myself. I’m … someone else. Someone new. With you. Do you like that someone?”

Iruka shook his head, then smiled and said weakly. “I love him.”

Kakashi smiled softly. “I’m glad. Cause he loves you back. And… he feels… very nice… with himself, in his own skin… finally. For the first time in his life…”

Iruka couldn’t fight back the tears and they fell down his cheeks. Kakashi brushed them off with kisses, that ended on Iruka’s lips.

“I’m sorry I woke you.”, he said again.

“You can wake me like that anytime!”, Iruka grinned. Kakashi smiled back.

“Ruka?”

“Yes, baby.”

“You know I really hate emotional talks…. And you are awake….”

Iruka snorted. “You want sex.”. It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

“Yes, please.”, Kakashi grinned.

Iruka chuckled. “You are hopeless…”

“But you love me~…”, Kakashi sang, his lips over Iruka’s.

“Forever…”, Iruka whispered.

Finally forever. Finally the way it was supposed to  be from the beginning…

*

“I’m telling you, Zumo, I woke up and the guy’s just staring at me. I asked him what was wrong and he said he only wanted to watch me.”

Iruka and Izumo both chuckled. They were in the kitchen, talking, Iruka slicing Izumo’s favorite banana pie, and Kakashi and Kotetsu were in the garden, sitting in the summerhouse, having tea.

“He said he felt different. Changed. He said he was happy, for the first time in his life.”, Iruka said quietly.

Izumo smiled, knowingly. It was something everyone could see. Gone were the porn books, the distant and sometimes overbearing demeanor, the haunted look… Kakashi now seemed to have eyes for Iruka only…

“I think I’m changing too. … I feel content, Zumo. I understood him so well, when he said he finally felt good in his own skin. I feel… home.”

That’s when Kakashi came into the kitchen with an empty tea pot.

“We ran out of tea and biscuits”, he announced. Iruka smiled warmly, already expecting this, and handed his husband another, full, tea pot and said:

“We’ll be right back with the pie.”

Kakashi nodded, kissed his brow and went back in the garden. Iruka turned around when he heard Izumo laughing.

“What?”, he asked.

“Baka… you’re already changed. You should see yourself. I noticed it yesterday too – you are more … open around each other, free. It comes easy to you now. It’s obvious, Ruka. When a man is really and truly loved.”

Iruka smiled widely, knowingly, and said pointedly. “I know.”

Izumo blushed. Iruka only laughed, picked up the dishes with the pie (Izumo’s was the biggest one) and said: “Come, I think our sugar-deprived men are waiting for us.”

 

Chapter 32 - Koi pond

Six months later…

Iruka opened his eyes just a tiny bit and his hand felt the sheets beside him. Empty. But still warm.

Almost whining, Iruka stood from the bed with the oh so tiring thought that it was Monday.

Still in his pajamas Iruka sneaked into the kitchen to get himself some much needed coffee. Being clad in pajamas was a rare view – torn boxers were easily replaceable, so he preferred the lesser clothing when around Kakashi, in bed – but that was a special one. It had a hand print on the left bottom cheek, two more over the nipples and one over the crotch. Another small detail – these were actually, really Kakashi’s handprints (Sato, the tailor, still turned bright red, remembering that specific purchase). These were the only pajamas Kakashi contained himself from tearing, but still Iruka wore them rarely – he preferred to get rid of his clothes as faster as he could when he was with his husband.

In that line of thoughts, Iruka had also bought Kakashi a special T-shirt for sleeping, the sign in front of which said “HENTAI!” With the same reasoning, Kakashi wore it rarely, but still…

On his way to the kitchen Iruka went by some pictures, hanging on the wall in the living room and the hallway – pictures from their wedding… from Izumo and Kotetsu’s wedding… Yes, their friends had married three months after them, a fact Iruka commented with his husband like that: “I believe someone has to buy red lacy panties…”. Iruka grinned, remembering the night after Kakashi actually did buy himself said panties… Mmm, yes, Iruka had certainly taught Kakashi to be more… vocal in bed.

In few words, life had been good for the Hatakes in the last half a year…

Iruka poured himself some coffee and walked outside in the garden. He knew where Kakashi usually could be found if he wasn’t on a mission – the koi pond.

That morning however Kakashi wasn’t meditating or doing kata-s. He was actually just staring at the pond.

“Hey”, Iruka called.

“Hey”, Kakashi answered, his voice hollow.

“What’s wrong, love?”, Iruka asked, sitting next to his husband. Kakashi turned and looked him in the eyes with a serious expression.

“When are we going to have that conversation?”

“Huh?”, Iruka frowned, not understanding.

Kakashi nodded towards the small lake, with the two koi fish.

“That talk. I’d like to have the family talk now.”

“Oh…”

“… I want a third koi, Ru. A baby.”

Silence.  Anyone, who didn’t really know him, would never believe that. Everyone knew Kakashi only as the Copy Nin, Sharingan no Kakashi, The Master of a Thousand Jutsu-s, Konoha’s biggest pervert after Jiraya… And nothing more. But Iruka, maybe the only one who actually knew him, knew Kakashi yearned for a family. A real one. With a child and all…

“I didn’t wanna push you, but… When are you gonna be ready? Will you ever be? Is it because of me, do you still have second thoughts, or do you not believe I’d be a good father after my own childhood and our past and… ”

“No, Kashi, I… We just got married! How about some living just the two of us? Have you any idea how much time, attention and care a child requires?”

“I know but-!... I want some noise in that fucking big house, Ru. I want it alive again.”

“Well, I thought it was alive… especially at night, with all those screams…”, Iruka smiled mischievously.

Kakashi smiled too, but with some sadness, and said: “As my partner, you are everything I’d ever need. But from life… I want more.”

Iruka had nothing to say to this. And Kakashi had a mission he had to leave for in an hour. The atmosphere before he left was tensed and their kiss by the door had lost some of its usual passion…

*

It had been a week since Kakashi had gone to his mission.

Iruka tried to burry himself in work, but still… thoughts of what Kakashi had said and his own reasons to deny his husband his greater wish kept his mind in an almost permanent mess. He caught himself watching his kids with a new look, thinking what would it feel like if instead of greeting parents when they came to pick up their children, he was the parent, and a child with messy hair and bruised knees were to come running into his embrace… He caught himself watching women on the street, which resembled his own mother, men, having the same haircut and hair color like his father…

And finally – he caught himself watching the shop window of a baby store… thinking how his daughter would look like in that  dress… or what his son would look like with that shuriken printed T-shirt he knew Kakashi would love…

Was he ready to go to the orphanage and all those little children to look at him with hope? How could he choose between them all? They weren’t just products at the market!

It was the first day of the second week after Kakashi’s departure. It was almost 8 pm, so Iruka was at home, grading some tests.

Suddenly, in a puff of smoke, an ANBU appeared in front of him and a cold voice said:

“Hatake Iruka, you are to report immediately to our Hokage!”

“Report? What about?” Iruka stood up, confused, and made the seals for the teleportation to the Hokage’s office. He emerged from the smoke himself and stared at a sight he would never forget.

Hatake Kakashi, his husband, was standing in front of the Hokage’s desk… with a small bundle in his arms. And the look in his eyes… Confused, begging for understanding… Lost…

 

Chapter 33 - Rikka

“Well…  It appears that this child was found by your husband, Iruka kun, in the ruins of a small village in the outskirts of the Fire country. The baby has no parents and no home to stay.”, Tsunade said slowly and calmly, eyes not leaving Iruka’s. “Seeing as the matter is delicate, I would never command you to take her home with you, but…”

“H-her?”, Iruka asked with a  shaky voice. Tsunade nodded slowly.

“It’s a girl.”

For a second, images of that little white dress he had seen in the baby shop, ran through Iruka’s mind.  A girl…

“D-do you mean we can… adopt her?”, he asked. “It…it’s all happening so fast…”

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. “Let’s see how things will go on. You might be a family, Iruka kun, but you are both men. Do you know how to take care of a baby?”

Another memory flashed through Iruka’s head:

“I think I found the perfect room for the child!”

“It’s in the eastern wing, Ru. Our bedroom is like in the other side of the house. How fast can you run when a baby cries and you’re too dazed from sleep to make any hand seals?”

He caught Kakashi’s eyes – confused, but full with want… begging.

“S-so… fast… but I can’t… those eyes…”

“I’ll learn.”, Iruka quietly said.

Tsunade smiled, somehow pleased with this answer.

“I’ll tell you what – take her home tonight. If you survive the night, she stays a few more days. If you survive the few days … I’ll personally execute the documents.”

“I-I… Ok, but… H-how old is she? What’s her name? W-what do I feed her? Is she healthy or do I have to know …” ; “So fast! I don’t know anything about children below 7 years old! A-and even then, it’s only teaching them that I know!”

“Iruka…”, Tsunade smiled, interrupting him. “She has no name or at least we don’t know of one. She’s a healthy 6 months old baby girl. You can feed her with apple and/or carrot puree.”

“Right. Apples and carrots. Ok. Got it.”

Iruka’s rumble was interrupted by a very simple and in the same time – meaningful and overwhelming gesture – Kakashi put the baby in his arms.

Iruka gasped, surprised, grasping the baby tightly and in the same time gently. What was that thing with the head, hold the head, hold the head…! And then he actually looked at her.

“O-oh…”

She had dark, almost black eyes and just as dark hair, but her skin was pale. She looked small and fragile and… and… and she smiled.

Iruka felt the tears in his eyes, the mess in his head slowly clearing… The dress in that store, that teddy bear in Kakashi’s old room, the rocking horse… his dreams, the kid with the bruised knees, the one, rushing in his embrace, the image of a small girl coming to kiss him to wake him up, the same girl he kissed on the little brow, sending her to school – they had a face now. A face with black eyes, surrounded by black hair… In one single perfect moment he wasn’t just holding a baby, but…

“My baby…”

“…Fast….?”

He looked up in Kakashi’s eyes and smiled, tears running down his cheeks; he saw wetness in Kakashi’s visible eye too. Iruka hugged the child closer to himself and shrugged a little, voice small and fragile, when he uttered: “Our baby…”

With no other explanations, no preparations, no expectations… It was all clear in a heartbeat. Her heartbeat.

*

Iruka held the sleeping child in his arms, in their bed, softly humming. He lifted his gaze once again and smiled to Kakashi.

“She’s asleep.”, he said.

Kakashi only nodded, not trusting his voice; but now, at home with his love and without the mask, his face showed everything…

“You like what you see, don’t you?”, Iruka grinned, still slightly rocking the small child.

“You have no idea…”, Kakashi choked out.

Iruka only smiled again, with understanding. Silence fell upon them once again.

“Thank you.”, Kakashi suddenly said.

“Hm? What for?”, Iruka asked, confused.

“You… didn’t doubt me. You didn’t ask how that child happened in my way back so conveniently, just after we argued over the subject. Thank you for not suspecting… for not asking… for… for accepting this all…”

Iruka only smiled again, sadness in his eyes now.

“You should have seen your face. You looked… so lost. It didn’t even cross my mind you could have just picked her from an orphanage or something. I… saw you hadn’t.”

“… Do you want to see? What happened…”

“I don’t need it. But if it will make you feel better, then yes – show me.”

Kakashi reached out with shaking hands, placing them on Iruka’s temples. The jutsu he had leant from his husband was now being done to Iruka himself.

(A.N. – SUGGESTED  music for the background - Trentemoller + Massive attack - Miss You (Teardrop Mix)

Kakashi was running back to Konoha. He was tired, both mentally and physically from his mission, and only wanted to come back and hug his Iruka… Nothing more, nothing more... Iruka could literally feel his loneliness, like a giant empty space within Kakashi, begging to be filled again, to be home again...

He sensed the smoke through Kakashi’s nose, saw it  through his eyes. It was a bit aside from their path…

“Taichou-!”, one of the faceless ANBU members called.

“We’re going to check that out!”, Kakashi ordered.

Iruka gasped seeing the next scene. The green leaves of the forest were replaced by ashes and ruins of the former village. Smoke rose from the recently burned homes, the ash creaking under their shoes. Everything was either black or grey… dead… Everyone was dead, bodies were scattered – dead and burnt, blood everywhere… Iruka winced.

A wasteland. Once alive and now dead….

“Let’s go, boys…”, Kakashi’s voice sounded hollow.

And then…

The tiniest cry. Kakashi froze and turned.

“Was that-?”, an ANBU started, but Kakashi shushed them.

There it was again, a faint sound, small, but there… alive…

Kakashi started walking, then running, searching the baby…

He came to the ruins of a house. All that had remained of the once wooden house was a single small room, made from rocks – a closet, Iruka guessed. A woman’s body, turned into charcoal was lying in front of the metal door… a mother, protecting her child…. Kakashi removed the body, as gentle as he could, and opened the door. And saw her. Alive….

Kakashi’s hands were removed from Iruka’s temples and they stared at each other again; Iruka’s cheeks were stained with tears again.

“Oh, Kashi… I’m so sorry…”, he said brokenly. Kakashi only shook his head.

“I’ve seen worse. .. She’s alive. We have her now…”

Iruka nodded, forcing a smile again. “We have her.”

*

Two days later…

Iruka burst into Tsunade’s office, a baby sling wrapped around him, with a baby girl in a tiny white dress inside, drooling on his shirt (not that he noticed).

“I need a full list with suitable foods for Rikka, I can’t feed my baby with apples and carrots only!”, he demanded.

Tsunade blinked a few times, then smiled slowly.

“Rikka?”, she asked softly, not missing the “my baby” part too. Iruka actually blushed a little.

“Yeah…Kakashi proposed it… he said it sounded kinda like Ruka… You know, “his Rikka and Ruka…”

“Ah…”, Tsunade’s grin grew wider. “I’ll tell you what – drop by again tomorrow. I’ll give you full instructions and you and Kakashi will sign the papers, ne?”, she winked.

Iruka beamed. “Y-yeah…”

 

Chapter 34 - Daddy’s princess

Kakashi woke up, groaning a bit – he had taken the long shift last night, meaning he got up trice to calm down a crying Rikka and Iruka got up once. Kakashi’s hand felt the sheets beside him, which were empty of course.

“Ah… Ruka’s taken the morning shift I guess…”, he thought sleepily. Well, he was awake already, better go check on his family, he decided, a smile creeping on his face.

In just three days, it was already obvious there was a child, living in this house – there was a baby stroller in the hallway, a basket resembling baby carrier on the couch in the living room, a tiny shuriken printed blanket on the loveseat, a teddy bear on the low table… Kakashi’s grin grew wider and wider…

Now, where were they?

Kakashi entered the kitchen and chuckled, seeing the empty coffee mug and the empty juice bottle on the table – seemed like father and daughter had went through their morning ritual of taking their (Kakashi-less) time to drink their respective drinks in the morning at peace.

Finally, Kakashi went out in the garden and saw who he was looking for, his smile getting bigger and bigger…

Iruka, baby sling wrapped around him again, was doing exercises. But not kata-s – these looked like…

“Yoga?”, Kakashi asked, surprised.

Iruka turned and smiled. “Yes, yoga. It can be done with the two of us.”, he nodded towards Rikka, wide eyed, her head poking out of the sling. “You had coffee?”, he asked.

“No, not yet.”

“Hm. Well, you can hold her while you’re drinking it still… And I’ll prepare her puree, do some real exercise, take a shower and then we’ll switch – you’ll do your kata-s, while I watch her, then take a shower, then we’ll go shopping, then we’ll stop by the Hokage’s office…”

Kakashi chuckled. Iruka frowned. “What?”, he asked.

“You’re bossy again”, Kakashi grinned.

“Well, someone has to keep you on a short leash!”, Iruka smiled a tiny, mischievous and a bit sadistic smile. Kakashi decided it was best to remain quiet.

“Ah, it’s good Tsunade sama gave us both some time to adjust to Rikka… but eventually we’ll have to get a nanny…”, Iruka said.

“… But we just took her with us…”, Kakashi looked down.

“I know, I know… Look, I can teach part time and take lesser Mission room shifts, but still, if you’re not here to help me…”

Kakashi sighed – he knew Iruka was right. Maybe it was time for some changes again…

But he won’t think about it just now. Today he was gonna become a dad – officially!

*

“Come in!”, Tsunade yelled, hearing the knocking on her door.

She looked up and had to swallow a typical womanly “Oooooh!”, seeing what she saw.

Iruka was wrapped up in the baby sling again, and Kakashi was carrying about a dozen bags, most of which were pink – Tsunade recognized some of Konoha’s baby shops logos on them. Both of them, now off duty, were dressed in shirts and jeans and Rikka was in a new dress – a simple green one, not one of those frilly pink things some mothers were crazy about.

“I see you’ve gone shopping…”, Tsunade smiled. Iruka grinned back and Kakashi smiled his crescent-eyed smile.

“Yeah, there lots to be done. It was quite unexpected after all…”, Iruka started, but was interrupted by an excited Kakashi.

“Yes! A major repair! I liked a color for the walls in the nursery, I’m sure you’ll like it, Ruka, it’s sky blue, and there would be white clouds on the walls too and that child’s bed with the little white canopy drapes…What?”, he blinked, catching their shocked expressions.

“You sound like Gai again…”, Iruka muttered and Tsunade had to stifle a laugh. Who would have thought – lazy, indifferent or arrogant Kakashi – an enthusiastic father?

As if catching her thoughts, Iruka quietly muttered: “Oh, he can be quite enthusiastic, all right… Given the right prize…”, he smirked (and Tsunade had the urge to blush, which she didn’t of course – she had an image to keep!).

“So… Any difficulties? With feeding or bathing…?”

“No, not really. We have only once cleared the walls from a potatoes puree and we always get soaked in the bath, but otherwise we’re good!”, Iruka grinned.

“Really? And nappy changing…?”, Tsunade asked.

“Hehe, you should see Kakashi, Tsunade sama, a real nappy master! Ah, I should take a picture – no one would believe me!”

Seeing their Hokage’s unbelieving look, Kakashi smiled with understanding.

“It’s true we’re men, Hokage sama, but we’re shinobi as well. We can handle extreme situations… … And there’re books…”, he admitted.

Tsunade chuckled. “All right then, no need to take this any longer…”, she pulled out the documents. “Sign here.”

They did – first Iruka and then Kakashi; Kakashi’s hand was trembling, and even more so after he read that specific line in the document… “Hatake Rikka…”

“Well… congratulations,… daddies”, Tsunade winked.

They looked at each other again. Daddies. They liked the way that sounded…

“Come on, switch. I’ll take the bags and you’ll hold her on the way back. It’s only fair.”, Iruka smiled.

Kakashi nodded and they made the arrangements before they bid their Hokage a good day and left.

Tsunade sighed happily again, bringing back her sake. This was worth a drink!

*

3 am, Hatake compound…

“Whaaaaah!!!!”

Iruka grunted, they both shifted in bed.

“K’shiiii… you wanted a noisy house… go make her stop!”, Iruka muttered sleepily and half-coherently.

Kakashi got up, dragging his feet to the baby crib, which was still in their bedroom. He picked up the baby and quietly left the room with the wailing child. Iruka sighed happily…. Ah, sleep…

Wait a minute… Why did Kakashi exit the room? Iruka had personally fed Rikka an hour ago, she couldn’t have been hungry… Kakashi had changed the nappy around that time too… So… what the…?

Worried, Iruka got up and sneaked out of the room, searching for his two precious ones, to tell the first  one not to feed the second one… He walked by the half closed sliding door to the outer corridors, surrounding the compound… and he went back.

He knew Kakashi didn’t know any lullabies and had secretly wondered how his husband managed to calm their daughter when it was his turn. He understood now.

Kakashi was humming softly, not a real melody, but  a nice calming sound, occasionally saying simple words… “Shh, Rikka, it’s ok…. Daddy’s here, it’s ok…mmmm-hmmmm, hmmmm….”

“Whaaa…!”

“Yeah, I know, I know….. Shhh…. Daddy loves you….”

“Wh…”

“Hmmmm? Seems you got that, huh? Yeah, baby, daddy loves you….”

“Gh…”

“And daddy Ruka needs to sleep, angel, so we’re here now, ok?...”

A laughing-like sound could be heard.

“Oh? What did you say? He’s eavesdropping by the door, really?”

Iruka gagged with his laugh and hearing another laughing-like sound. He slid the door open and went to seat, cross-legged, opposite to Kakashi. They smiled to each other.

“… Have you really always been like that?”, Iruka asked. “I mean, I know you told me it was a mask before, but…”

“Yes, Ruka. It’s just that you’re the only one who has ever seen me. The real me, not some of my masks…”

Iruka smiled genuinely. “… Thank you.”

Kakashi smiled back. “You’re welcome… in my life, in my soul…” he sighed and nodded to the baby. “She’s asleep again.”

“Let’s take her in the bed with us. She’ll sleep between us, it’ll calm her down…”

“Just admit you want to hug her too…”

“Oh, shush…”

 

Chapter 35 - The Hatakes

Getting used to another little human being in their life, one that was completely dependent on them, proved to be … not that hard for the Hatakes. Sure, having gone through shinobi training probably helped ( a lot), but Iruka started thinking that maybe they had been destined to be blessed with Rikka… and be good for her, since it all came easily to them both. No, not good – the best parents.

Iruka was a bit uneasy about how would people react to them not only being men and married, but also adopting a child, a girl, mind you – that went pretty much against all social standards.

Another shock – every time they went out together, the three of them, a whole traffic jam was being caused, with streets becoming impassable and women all over them, squeaking with joy.

“Aaaaaaw, she’s adorable!”

“Iruka san, she even looks like you!”

“Ah, Iruka san, where did you get this dress from!”

“Kakashi san looks sooooo sweet with the baby in his strong arms…!”

“Yeah, he’s also taken, you…”, Iruka murmured lowly and menacingly.

It was enough for Kakashi to hear him though – the Copy Nin grinned lewdly and Iruka knew then that he was up for some seeeeeerious teasing that night!

Speaking of that, quiet sex was now the latest novelty in the Hatake compound. Rikka’s room was ready now and the baby slept there… but the room was of course next to their own. Aaaand their daughter was a light sleeper. So, in order to not wake her, her parents had to make some sacrifices. Pillows were being thrown away every other day, chewed over recognition, sheets were being torn in desperate efforts to hold onto something, not the other body, as not to cause the other body to scream. Kakashi was not happy. And unhappy Kakashi was inventive Kakashi…

“We’re moving for a couple of days in my jounin apartment.”, he announced one morning.

As a jounin Kakashi owned an apartment in the jounin district of Konoha. No matter that he had another home he lived in now – that place was always reserved for him.

However the place was small, made for a  single guy, and Iruka frowned, feeding Rikka.

“Why?”, he asked.

“The workers will be soundproofing the house for a few days.”, a simple answer, that made Iruka blush nonetheless.

“W-Why the w-whole house? Why not only the bedroom?”

Kakashi leered. “My innocent Ru… Do you really think I’m gonna take you there only?”

“Oh, Kami….”

After that of course a baby monitor was placed in the two bedrooms – theirs and Rikka’s, and Kakashi played a little to tune the gadget until he and Iruka could hear Rikka’s cry, but Rikka couldn’t hear them…. Well, hear them.

Once again, Kakashi left the white ANBU mask aside and was only on call for very serious cases. He continued taking up to A-ranks, with backup. He didn’t really need the money from A and S-ranks – he had saved a lot from his first years in ANBU till now, plus a small Hatake family fortune. But money was being spent in enormous quantities around Rikka, and he needed some action, and as he pointed out to Iruka: “Hopefully, we’ll have a daughter to marry one day!” He thought of training another genin team, but couldn’t bring himself to do that, after all the “Team 7 mess”. He needed more time.

So, with both of them making some sacrifices – Iruka taking lesser Mission room shifts and teaching part-time in the Academy and Kakashi giving up the S-ranks – they still needed a nanny for a few hours a day, sometimes (when Kakashi was in the village, they didn’t need that extra help). The nanny however couldn’t be just anyone – they had to trust that person. And, strange as it is, and though Kakashi would never have guessed things would turn out like that, that person turned out to be Sakura. Thinking about it, it made sense – she knew them both, they being her ex-teachers, was close to them, being their (self-proclaimed, but still…) bridesmaid, and most importantly – being a woman with medical education. What more could they want? So, they had somehow managed to make their schedule between Iruka’s teaching, Kakashi’s missions and Sakura’s hospital duties.

But still, when he was in town, one thing Kakashi loved the most was picking up Iruka after school. With Rikka in his arms.

Now, Iruka on the other hand wasn’t that big of a fan of that. It caused… chaos!

Not only the women on the streets, squeaking and fainting from the view of Kakashi with a baby (Iruka finally did buy him a T-shirt, saying “TAKEN!”), but the mess that that very same view caused when it appeared in the door to his classroom – a Copy Nin, baby sling, with Rikka inside and a changing bag over one shoulder….

“OOoooooIIiiiii, Kakashi san and Rikkaaaaa!!!”

Yeah… no way that lesson could be finished, what with the class all over his husband and daughter, Iruka thought, irritated. … But a part of him, a quite big part of him, was grinning like a fool…

Their friends seemed to like the new addition in their friends’ life too. Well… most of them.

“I don’t really understand it.”, Genma stated once he as watched Kakashi calming down a wailing Rikka back to sleep. He sat on the couch, staring at a striding Kakashi at the Hatake compound’s living room.

“Shhhh… Understand what?”

“It.”, Genma motioned in Rikka’s direction.

“That’s my daughter, fu… stupid, I’d like you to refer to my baby as “she” and “her!”, Kakashi growled. “No cursing around our baby!”, Iruka’s words rang in his head.

“Yeah, yeah… How do you know when i-she cries from hunger or just being grumpy?”, Genma asked.

“Well…”, Kakashi thought about it for a while, then shrugged. “I just know.”

“Huh…”

“Oh, she’s asleep. I’m going to let her in her crib.”

“Fine, I’m gonna go then…”

“Yeah, I’ll call you … one of these days…”

“Yeah, yeah… I’ll show myself out…”

“Thanks, Gen….”

SLAM!

The front door was loudly shut by an oblivious Genma. Kakashi froze. Oh, no, please don’t….

“WHAAaAAaaAAaA!.!.!.!”

“I HATE YOU, SHIRANUI GENMA!.!.!”

Well, that was Genma after all. Kotetsu and Izumo always volunteered babysitting when they had no duties at the Gates or the Hokage Tower – in fact Iruka even tried to make another bet with Kakashi about when their friends were going to make the same choice. There was something almost eerie in how fast Kakashi agreed on the bet… And then Iruka remembered certain red lacy panties. And grinned. More like leered, actually. Yeah, he could see Kakashi’s point – the pervert won either way…

Anyway, Kotetsu and Izumo loved Rikka, Yamato was completely smitten by her – he had made a tree house for her before Iruka mentioned she hadn’t even started crawling yet - and there was something … just something in Asuma’s eyes every time he watched them with the baby… a thoughtful look that would almost always end up on Kurenai. Raido looked proud with Kakashi finally  being the man he was supposed to be and Gai found that Rikka was the “ultimate example of youthfulness and love”.

Anyway not completely everyone was content with the Hatakes’ decision.

Kakashi had said he had some work in the TI with Ibiki, so Iruka decided to go pick him up after work. He was on his way to the building when he overheard the conversation.

“Hatake, this cannot continue like this!”

Iruka sneaked closer and looked over the corner. Kakashi was leaning against a wall, looking displeased, glaring at a small old woman. Not just any old woman… Utatane Koharu.

Iruka’s heart skipped a beat. Why were the Elders after Kakashi? He gulped. Oh, but he knew why…

“Hatake, you must produce a male child with your blood to continue the name and the bloodline!”

“I have a family, Koharu sama. And I have a child…”, Kakashi started.

“Do you not listen!.? A boy with your blood is required in the next five years while your fertility is at its peak! Find a suitable woman and do your duty!”, the woman said bluntly.

“I am faithful to my husband,… Koharu sama”, Kakashi gritted out.

“I do not care if you invite him to watch or participate! The council requires a male child with your blood in five years! Do not make me forcibly get that!”

A couple of hand seals and the woman was gone.

Iruka quietly went back home, the conversation ringing in his head and causing tears in his eyes. Tears he had to swallow and smile for his uncharacteristically gloomy husband when he returned home…

 

Chapter 36 - A plan put in motion

!!!! Four years later… !!!!

Hatake Kakashi was sneaking. In his own home.

Never in his life he would have guessed he would someday creep into his own house, looking in each direction for a sudden ambush, not by an enemy… but his own daughter. He turned sharply to look at a shady alcove, almost expecting a little girl already hanging on his back, having surprised him from behind, as she tended to do. Nothing like that happened. Kakashi sneaked further in the house, alarmed.

“Rikka?”, he called.

“In the kindergarten. You forgot?”, Iruka’s voice said behind him. Kakashi smiled, turning around.

“Yeah, I sometimes for….”, Kakashi’s words suddenly died, his mouth becoming dry and his eyes turning  wide. “…get.”, he finished weakly.

Iruka was wearing only those damned tight black boxers. He was already hard, Kakashi could see. His whole, perfectly toned and tanned body was wrapped in a long red ribbon. His hair was down, longer than usual. He was practically screaming “Fuck me!”

Another thing for them both was they weren’t into cross-dressing (panties were exception!). But otherwise thongs, garters and dresses were always out of question! Hey, they were gays, but still –guys!

However, Kakashi didn’t really need something else on Iruka, besides those tight black boxers. Actually, Iruka in the nude was even better! He decided he would ask questions later, hugged his husband and quickly made the hand seals for transportation.

They were in the bedroom in the blink of an eye, Kakashi tossing Iruka on the bed. He climbed on the bed, predatory look on his face, when he said huskily:

“I wanna ride you…”

Iruka tried to fight a slight frown. That wasn’t the plan. The plan boiled down to him, getting fucked. But… Well, they might have been switchers, but still, Iruka was the uke a lot more often than Kakashi. And now Kakashi proposed, no – wanted, to ride him… Kakashi... on top… going wild… with Iruka inside him…

The hell with the plan!

…He still had some time to accomplish his goal…

Lost in thoughts, Iruka didn’t notice the ribbon being quickly removed…

“How the…”

It  went all around him, how could Kakashi remove it without Iruka moving…?

Kakashi dropped the kunai with a small clink and went to the tight black boxers.

“…Fuck…”

Hmm, he was in for some ride, alright! Iruka’s member stood proud, slightly twitching, getting harder with each second… long and thick and wet with pre-come…

Kakashi wished he hadn’t dropped the kunai… so he could use it on his own clothes now! How fast can a horny ANBU-ranked pervert undress? 21 seconds 35 hundredths. With the legs wrappings!

He looked at the masterpiece that was his husband’s shaft, thoughtfully. He wanted it now! But it had been a while… and they had some time till they had to pick up Rikka from the kindergarten… he was up for round two!... But that meant… Oh, well…

“Lube…”

Iruka handed it, as if he had waited for Kakashi to ask. It was the melon scented one. Kakashi grinned.

“You or me?”, he only asked. They didn’t need many words between each other.

“Let me…”, Iruka’s husky voice almost brought Kakashi to the brink…

Iruka coated three of his own fingers and brought them to Kakashi’s entrance. He grinned.

“Count with me…”

Kakashi’s moaned, feeling the first digit sinking into him.

“One…”

“And then?”

“Haah…T-Two…”

“And do you really wanna…?”

“THREE!.!.! There!”

Iruka chuckled. “’m sorry, I didn’t quite get ya… Here?”, he brushed the spot again.

“FUCK!”, Kakashi screamed. He hated/loved it when Iruka played the bad boy, with the slang and all… “Fuck! Do it, do it noooow!”

“But I’m doin’ it…”, Iruka grinned.

“With your cock, come oooon!”

Somewhere in the back of his mind Kakashi was aware he was moaning like a whore. That was simply one of the effects Iruka had on him…

Iruka started to slide himself in Kakashi, slowly. Well… Kakashi had another idea…

“I can’t wait for you the whole day!”, he groaned and impaled himself on Iruka’s hard member.

Two screams echoed in the house. Kakashi was panting heavily, Iruka’s breath was hitched as well…

Kakashi moved. Hesitantly in beginning, obviously still in pain, but desperately searching… Just… that… angle…

“Haaaahhh!.!.!”, he roared. “Yeaaah!”, his face looked as in he was in pain, but Iruka knew better – he knew Kakashi was  lost in pure bliss right now.

He was riding Iruka in earnest now. Fast and hard, seeking oblivion, one hand quickly moving up and down his own painfully hard member.

“Hah! MMmmmnnnh! Ha.. ha… OH!... Nghaaa!”

Just the sounds his husband was making, that body, so lost above him… Iruka knew he was close.

“K..Kashi…”, he tried to warn him.

“Y-Yeah… Just… a lil bit… FUCK!.!.!”, he screamed, his eyes first narrowing, then rolling to the back.

“Ha… Haaaah!”, and Iruka was coming right after him…

Kakashi collapsed on top of him and for a while all they could do was panting hard.

“How much… time left?”, Kakashi asked.

“Thirty minutes”, Iruka simply said.

That included the bath afterwards, getting dressed and transporting to the kindergarten. Plus, second times took longer to hit the peak…

“I’ll make it fast?”, Kakashi pleaded. Iruka chuckled tiredly.

“Ok…”

Not having words to thank his husband, Kakashi simply kissed his flat belly.

“Spread you legs for me, Ru…”, he said hoarsely.

There was something almost shy in the way Iruka did so, but Kakashi was too horny (again) to notice that. He reached for the lube.

“Wait!”, Iruka commanded and Kakashi looked up. Iruka was blushing slightly, handing him another tube. The label said “Chocolate”. Kakashi laughed.

“Well… your ass, your lube!”, he winked.

Iruka smiled a little, laying back down. Feeling the first finger entering him, he vaguely wondered if they would be late to pick up Rikka from the kindergarten. But even so… that was worth it. For more than one reason…

 

Chapter 37 - Duty

Iruka all but crawled out of the Academy. It was October and he was tired.

He knew he was being irrational. It couldn’t be it. He couldn’t be tired because of it already… Or his stomach feeling all weird… Or his sudden need of liquids, pear juice in particular…

He sneezed. … Damn. Must be a cold after all.

Autumn… was not Iruka’s favorite season.

Rather, it was someone else’s. Iruka smiled, remembering a scene from the last weekend.

“Daddy! Look, look!”, Rikka screamed almost hysterically, jumping in a pile of fallen leaves a genin team had just swept. The three kids looked angrily at the small girl and Iruka smiled sheepishly.

“Aaah, sorry… she’s, uhm… just a kid?”, Iruka smiled to all the other just-kids….

Oh, he just wanted to go home and snuggle to his husband and baby girl.

Speaking of a certain husband…

Iruka’s face lit up, seeing the lanky figure, leaning against a tree in the school yard.

“Hey!”, Iruka jumped in Kakashi’s embrace, then looked up, smiling; but saw a serious face in return. “What’s wrong?”, he asked.

“I have to tell you something”, Kakashi said seriously.

“Me too”, Iruka nodded. “We have about twenty minutes till we have to pick up Rikka, you want to grab something to drink?”

“Yeah…”

They sat at a small restaurant and Kakashi ordered two beers, but Iruka corrected the second to a glass of pear juice. Kakashi frowned as the waiter went away with their order.

“You ok?”, he asked.

“Yeah, just my stomach feels funny, must be that damn cold…”, Iruka waved it away. “Now tell me, what is it?”

“Iruka, I… I got a call-up order. An ANBU call-up.”

Iruka tensed. Kakashi grabbed his hand over the table.

“I cannot say no. It’s Sound and it’s near our western border again. I must go, but… look I’ll do the impossible to come back to you and Rikka. Ok, just… Damn…”, Kakashi averted his eyes.

He would go. They both knew it. There was little any of them could say.

“What did you wanna tell me?”, Kakashi asked.

Iruka smiled sadly. “Come back alive and I’ll tell you.”

Kakashi bent down and kissed his hand. “I will. Whatever it costs me”, he promised.

*

It was early in the morning when Kakashi silently crept to the front door, all but his mask – on place. After him, a smaller man in a sleeping yukata watched him with sad puppy eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that or I’ll never be able to leave”, Kakashi said.

If anything, the puppy eyes turned even more sad and shiny. Kakashi chuckled.

“I’m sorry, love, this won’t work. Not this time”, he said with a sad smile and bent to kiss Iruka’s brow.

“Papa?”

Silently, Kakashi thanked Kami sama that he didn’t wear the white ANBU mask then – he could never bear to see fear in his child’s eyes, caused by himself.

He looked behind Iruka. A small form crept just as silently with her bare feet, the white gown making her black hair and pale face looking like a celestial creature. The child grabbed the edge of her Daddy’s yukata and looked up with something between shyness and sleepiness.

Kakashi kneeled down and opened his arms, till his daughter let go of Iruka’s clothes and went to hug the ABNU uniformed man. Kakashi kissed her head, just like he kissed Iruka’s and whispered lovingly:

“Why don’t you sleep?”

“I heard Papa’s voice”, she simply said. Kakashi was a bit taken aback – he had whispered and he had done so by the door. Rikka’s room was upstairs. “Kami, don’t let her become shinobi as well!”

“Papa has some work to do, kiddo. I’ll be back soon though, so you’ll be good and listen to Daddy, right?”

The child nodded. Kakashi kissed her head again, then kissed Iruka chastely and left.

*

It rained on the day after Kakashi left. No matter what some people used to say, it wasn’t always sunny in Konoha. Iruka felt nauseous and called sick. Rikka didn’t go to kindergarten that day and they spent it near the fireplace, Iruka telling his daughter stories, reading fairytales and playing games – including being the mother (Rikka being another “mother”), calming a baby doll to sleep.

*

“Report your status!”

“Two slightly injured, two with serious wounds and one dead, sir!”

Kakashi cursed silently. One dead. Already.

“Call everyone, we’ll regroup and divide into more groups to cover more space and attack more efficiently”, Kakashi ordered. He had the feeling the mask before him grinned.

“Divide et impera?”, it asked.

Kakashi frowned a bit. Smart kid. What was he doing here, killing himself (he was a boy, judging by the voice)?

“Yeah…”, he muttered, watching Mr. Smarty-pants gathering all their people back to regroup.   

*

“Daddy, who is that Sakumo person?”

Iruka tensed. He turned to stare at his wide-eyed miracle, staring back.

“Rikka, who told you this name?”, he asked.

“The kids in the kindergarten said he was someone important. Who was he, Daddy?”

Iruka cleared his throat.

“Uhm… h-he was… your Grandpa. Your Papa’s father.”

The black eyes widened more. “Really?.! But where is he?”

“He’s… with the angels now, baby.”

The chubby face saddened.

“I wish I knew him”, she simply said.

“…Yeah, me too…”, Iruka muttered.

*

It was pouring down like the Heaven was punishing them…

“Retreat!”, Kakashi roared waiting for them all to run before him. He went after them, neared one of the ANBU soldiers and commanded with an ice-cold voice:

“Report yours status!”

“Three men down and two dead, sir!”

“…”

It was another mask and another voice.

“Code names?”, Kakashi asked, trying to keep his voice cold.

“Lion and Cougar, sir.”

Lion. The Latin kid…

*

It never stopped raining in Konoha after Kakashi left. Iruka was sick. As in sick-sick. He threw up in the toilet again, glad that Rikka was back in the kindergarten. The rain… his sickness… damn autumn!

And where was Kakashi!.?

The frantic knocking on the door startled him and Iruka went to open the door. He faced a soaking wet, terrified Izumo.

“Wha-?”

“Kakashi… Ruka, it’s bad, man!”, Izumo was panting, looking scared.

Iruka’s eyes widened with pure terror.

“Watch Rikka!”, he shouted and then simply jumped out in the rain, running to the hospital…

 

Chapter 38 - Konoha’s most secret jutsu

He had been scared for Kakashi’s life before… but never like that!

The sound of the hospital doors slamming echoed in the nearly empty hospital, the place looking eerily dark, thanks to the storm outside. A long, hardly illuminated corridor… Iruka’s heavy footsteps, while he was running… where to?

“Iruka san!”, a nurse called.

“Where’s he?.!”

“First operating room… But you can’t…! Iruka san!”

Iruka was already running in said direction – with Kakashi, of course he knew where that was. The nurse was following him.

“Hatake san, please, you can’t go there!”

“THIS IS MY HUSBAND THERE!”, he screamed insanely. Izumo’s terrified face was fresh in his memory. “It’s bad, man!...”

“Hatake san, please, they are doing everything they can, Tsunade sama has personally…”

“You don’t understand! I haven’t told him….! I said I will, after he gets back!”

No, he couldn’t die now, not ever, but especially now! Oh, Kami sama, he should have told him, he should have…

Iruka burst into the room, just in time to hear the beeping noise, that sickening beeping noise, and Tsunade’s voice shouting “Clear!”

Another faint sound and Kakashi’s body jumping up. Then the beeping again. “Charge to 300! Clear!”, Tsunade yelled again.

The unmoving body, the body Iruka knew so well and loved so much jumped again, lifeless. Iruka felt sick again. All that blood… He couldn’t see the wounds, there was too much blood!...

“Come on, brat, don’t leave me now!”, Tsunade yelled again and Iruka could swear he saw tears running down her face. “Clear!”

“Tsunade sama…”, one of the medi-nins said with a small voice.

“No… just… no…”, Tsunade said brokenly, her whole frame slumping, she looked small and helpless.

“… I’m calling it…”, another medi-nin said.

It was then when something clicked in Iruka and his body shot forward, screaming…

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!.!.!.!.!.!”

The medics jumped in shock and someone yelled “Get him outta here!”, but it was too late, since Iruka was already by Kakashi’s bed; he grabbed one lifeless hand and pressed in to his lips, crying eyes on the closed ones….

“Kakashi, please!.!.! Please, I’m begging you!.!.! Please, please, oh, Kami, pleaaaaaseee!.!.!.!.!”, Iruka cried.

Nothing.

Years later Iruka still didn’t know why he did what he did next. He just did it.

“Kakashi, please, don’t leave us!.!.!.!.!”, he screamed insanely and slid the lifeless hand to his belly.

No one understood what happened. The monitors suddenly were back to life… and so was the recently lifeless body! Kakashi almost jumped in the bed, taking in a big breath, looking like he was suffocating, eyes popping out… going straight to Iruka….

“Get him outta here, get Iruka outta the room!”, Tsunade yelled.

“No…!”, Iruka tried to argue, but then brown eyes met chocolate ones, both wet with tears, and she said with a serious tone:

“I need some space to make sure he stays alive this time!”

Iruka couldn’t argue with that.

“Just bring him back to me!”, he pleaded, exiting the room backwards, eyes now on the other, mismatched pair, staring back this time…

*

It was around midnight. The waiting room was full – Iruka was hugging a dozing off Rikka, snuggled in his embrace, Kotetsu was hugging Izumo, Kurenai was hugging Asuma Jr. and Genma was hugging a bottle of sake, under the very pointed glances of Raido. Gai was uncharacteristically silent and Yamato, all bandaged and with a plastered leg, looked almost guilty as if he just had to be near dead too.

Tsunade entered the waiting room and they all jumped (well, except Yamato).

“His life is out of danger”, she smiled tiredly.

Iruka swore to Kami sama, these were the most wonderful words he had ever heard.

“Can I see him?”, he asked eagerly.

Tsunade opened her mouth, as if to say no, but then she saw Iruka’s ultimate puppy dog eyes. She sighed.

“Only you! Don’t take long and don’t strain him – he is still too weak. He’s in the reanimation right now”, she said.

Iruka nodded enthusiastically, left Rikka to Izumo with a short “Daddy will be right back!” and went into the room.

Kakashi opened his eyes tiredly, hearing the door opening and made a heroic attempt to smile.

“Hey…”

There was little of him that could be seen – mostly his face, and even that was covered by a breathing mask. All of his body was in thick bandages.

“Hey…”, Iruka smiled. “You look like a mummy…”

Kakashi laughed, causing him to choke and Iruka immediately regretted the joke.

“I came back…”, Kakashi pointed out weakly.

“Yeah…”, Iruka all but whispered, feeling the tears gathering in his eyes again.

Kakashi looked at him with a serious, thoughtful look.

“Iruka… Before, when you screamed… I heard you.”

Iruka’s eyes widened slightly then his gaze went down, not meeting Kakashi’s.

“Ruka, please… I felt you grabbed my hand… When… when you said “don’t leave us”… you meant you and Rikka “us”, or…”

Iruka finally looked up, an uncertain smile on his lips. His eyes were watery and he took a shaky breath, before he spoke quietly…

“There’s a jutsu… Konoha’s most secret jutsu… I-it’s about…”

“NO…!”

Iruka’s uncertain smile vanished. Kakashi looked… terrified.

Oh, he knew about that jutsu, alright. He was the Copy Ninja, after all. Konoha’s most secret jutsu… allowing the continuation of a clan and used only in exceptions, only for the most treasured and powerful clans, endangered of extinction… Designed specifically for that reason, restoring a clan, continuing it… producing a male heir… Even if the last legal representative of said clan was not into women… so the jutsu allowed said representative and his male companion to reproduce… obligatorily creating a baby boy… so he could continue the bloodline…

Well, as good as it sounded… there was a catch.

“Not this jutsu!”, Kakashi whispered, hyperventilating. “Don’t tell me you did it…!”

“K… Kashi, I…”, Iruka was about to burst crying. Did Kakashi not want this? Was he… disgusted by the idea of his husband, giving life to a child? His child?

Iruka was about to sobbingly ask those questions, when Kakashi overtook him:

“Baka! This is… so dangerous! You have no idea… the risk...!.!.! I-I cannot… I cannot l-lose you!.!.!”, he sobbed, almost crushing Iruka to his recently bandaged body, Iruka now sobbing with him.

“Last time I checked it was me, who was about to lose you…”

“But… why…?”

“The Elders… I knew they were pushing you…”

“H-How…?”

“That time, with Koharu sama, by the TI…”

“You-you’ve heard…?”

“Yeah…”

There was a moment when only quiet sobs (mostly Iruka’s by that time) filled the room. It took Iruka some time to calm down and ask:

“Just tell me one thing, the truth – do you want it?”

“Stupid, that’s all I’ve ever…! And with you… but I can’t…!”

“I knew the risk, love”, Iruka smiled weakly. “It’s a risk I am willing to take for you. For us. I am ready.”

“I’m not…”, Kakashi confessed with a small voice. Iruka grinned wider.

“Kashi… we’ll be alright. I’ve looked it through, it will take some effort from both sides, but it’s worth it, I promise…!”

It was some time, before Kakashi managed to look up, a small smile slowly blooming on the tearstained face. He looked at Iruka with such adoration that Iruka’s knees felt weak.

“Please say it… Say the words…”

Tears falling down his cheeks, but for a whole different reason now, Iruka grinned.

“Hatake Kakashi… I am three weeks pregnant with your son.”

A smile, so big and happy Iruka had only seen once before – when he had accepted Kakashi’s marrage proposal, bloomed full-force on Kakashi’s still tearstained face.

“Our son…”, he said with a shaky voice, placing his hand again on Iruka’s still flat belly and looking at it as if it was a miracle. And in a way… it was!

 

Epilogue

(four months later)

Kakashi’s POV

Life… is good.

Ask me about it on Saturday, when I’m off duty and I’m sleeeeeeping….

Well… life could be even better if Iruka was next to me right now. Damn newbie-s in the Mission Room and why is my man the most qualified so he just had to teach them?.!

Meaning he woke up early and left me here… alone… in the cold bed…

Thinking about it, he said something… I had to do something… Oh, well….

“Papa!”

Ah, that something might've had something to do with our daughter… Yeah, ‘m pretty sure now… What was it again?

I grunted incoherently in response.

“Kashi-daddy….”

Ah, so she wanted something…

“How much?”, I asked out of habit. “Kashi-daddy” usually costs me a little fortune…

That earned me a smack on the bare back.

“Ouch! Is that a way to treat your father!.?”

“Uhm, yeah, if he’s lazing around all day instead of taking me to my dance lessons!”

Ah! Dance lessons! Thank you!

“You know, you little monster I call my daughter, if I wasn’t pretty sure I found you in the ruins of a destroyed village, I’d be really suspicious whether Iruka hadn’t actually given birth to you too!”

 She knew she was adopted of course. Though I really sometimes wonder… the way she acts like Iruka is creeping me out!

She chuckled, again - in a far too familiar way, and said: “Dance lessons. NOW!”

I grunted again.

“Papa, I will not be late because my father is lazy!”

That’s it! Iruka is in for some serious talk!

“I made you coffee…”

Yes, my four and a half years old daughter made me coffee…. And was bribing me with it. Thinking about it… did four-five years olds talk like that? … Maybe she’d taken something from my so called “genius” as well?

“And Daddy will meet us in the Dance Hall…”

Ah, the little monster really knew how to manipulate me! Definitely an evil genius!

*

I ended up giving a piggy-back ride for the evil genius… dressed in a pink ballet dress. My daughter was in the dress, that is!

“You know… I know you hate pink. You don’t need to wear this”, I said.

“Yes, I do”, she insisted. Then she sighed and explained. “It’s Daddy, Papa. Now that a baby boy is on his way, he needs to know he’s raised a baby girl as well.”

“… How old are you really!.?.!”

She laughed again.

We came into the dance hall on time (un-fucking-believable!). Rikka slid off my  back, kissed me on the cheek and went to the others, getting ready for the lesson. Soon, the music was on and they all started dancing. I mean, I think. She did, that is…

Someone all but jumped on my back again, much heavier than Rikka. I only smiled – not that I’ll ever tell him…

“Hey, tiger…”, he whispered huskily. Mmm, he was horny again. I love pregnancy!

“Hey, beautiful…”, I answered.

“How’s she doing?”, he asked.

“She’s the best of course.”

He chuckled. “Of course. Did you even see all the others?”

“…Yeah?”

He laughed again, coming in front of me. I slid my hands around the small bump that was his belly now. That was our child, now four months into the pregnancy… Iruka relaxed into my embrace and I felt how tensed his back was again. Hm, I’d have to take care of that, that strange massage I read in that book…

Suddenly I caught all the girls jumping in the air (how did they call that? Ah, a pirouette!) and then someone else jumped too – inside Iruka, and I felt it with my hands on his belly (!) and Iruka gasped. The music had stopped, there was applauding and Rikka came running, jumping excitedly.

“How was it, how was it!”

“It was beautiful, baby! And you know what, I think someone agrees with me!”, Iruka grinned, placing Rikka’s hand on his belly. Only a second… and her whole face lit up with her smile.

“Bubu likes it too!.!.!”, she squealed happily, jumping up and down again.

Uhm, yeah, she called her unborn brother Bubu. I have no idea why and when I tried to ask she only grinned and said it sounded cute…

She hugged Iruka, belly and all, from the front and I hugged him tighter from behind, making him yelp (very manly! :D) and making ourselves a Hatake sandwich.

Aaaaaah…. Life is good!

The end (for now; sequel in progress  ;))