(Author notes: Hi guys, I know its been a while since I have posted anything, I have just come across an older story that I did my best editing and rewriting, as of lately I have been feeling rather low, so my stories will take take to be updated, and new stories will take time to be made. Anyways I hope you like this story! thanks for stopping by!
-Foxy)
~*~*~*~*Chapter 1~*~*~*~*
My life had been a fairly good one, I was born into the richest family in Konoha city, my father was a proud man, strict, and harsh with his words most of the time, but me and my elder brother knew he loved us dearly.
The night my parents died was the worst day of my life, it had been a car accident while they were on their way home from their fifteenth anniversary dinner, their car was hit from behind by a truck, their car swerved off the road, before crashing into a ditch killing both my parents instantly.
After that night my brother began to run my fathers company, though he was only fifteen, he still ran the business as if it where his calling.
As I began to grow I began to close myself off, shying away from friends, focusing only on schooling and martial arts.
It began to get hard talking to Itachi, he was so busy with work, and I felt like I needed someone to talk to, anyone.
I never gave anyone at my school enough of my time to befriend someone, I hated the world around me, and soon began closing myself off from everyone including my brother.
When I had come home from school on my fifteenth birthday I noticed my gift my brother had given me, a new laptop.
A computer was not something that intrigued me, it was just another useless machine to kill brain cells, to waste time on, and my time was far too precious to waste on such things as games, or social networking.
After some time Itachi had noticed I hadn't used the gift he'd gotten me, and soon I found myself being pulled onto a guilt trip into trying the brain washing machine out.
All he asked was I try to find some kind of friend, someone to talk to.
I ended up finding a chat room accessible only by high school students looking into collage to attend after graduation.
Mostly it was twelfth graders looking into what collages they were interested in attending, maybe one or two eleventh graders, I had seemed to be the only ninth grade students on the chat, but it didn't bother me, I was only pretending to be interested in meeting people, to make Itachi think I was meeting friends, and communicating with someone.
My days in the chat room were all the same, I would sit at my computer, reading as the students typed back and forth, asking questions, answering questions, commenting on ratings of collages, so on and so forth.
I never really took part, I simply read, ignoring everyone else, until he private messaged me.
It turned out I wasn't the only ninth grader to be interested in looking at collage options, his private message startled me, I had no idea who this guy was, why he was talking to me, I had no idea why he was going to try wasting his time with me, I wasn't going to answer back
Guest4456: Hey, you don't talk much do you? I just stared at the black letters upon my screen, I used my scroll pad to move the mouse to the exit button, but stopped myself once hearing the small ping sound as the boy tried once more to lure me into a conversation.
And this time I could not ignore him
Guest4456: Guess you're too chicken to talk, must be awfully scared having someone talk to you, bet its terrifying to use those fingers to push the small letter buttons there on your keyboard :) He was taunting me, he was trying to mock me, make fun of me! How dare he
Guest3896: Unlike you: I do not type to just anyone, I choose conversation, and prefer not to waste my time on idiots like yourself Guest4456: Wow big words from a ninth grader Guest3896: Look who is talking It was the start of a pen pal relationship, and the start of my very first friendship with someone aside from my brother, it was close to eleven o'clock when I finally decided our little bickering match should end, it had been fun arguing with him back and forth, though the words we each spoke were never cruel, just taunts from one another to keep the conversation going
Guest3896: Its pretty late, I have to get some sleep Guest4456: Yea same here, hey here's my email, email me sometime Within seconds I had his email written down on the small note pad beside my computer.
When morning came, I found myself staring at his email, confused on why I still had it, confused on why I had even accepted it, confused on why I hadn't of thrown it away by now!
I moved towards the trash can, crumbling the small paper into a ball, intent to toss it away, but my body froze, and again I stared, stared towards the small ball of paper.
I was lonely, and talking to the hyper teen had in some way made me feel better about my life, had made me feel less alone in the cold cruel world.
We became good friends, only ever talking on email, or chat rooms.
My daily routine had gone from waking up, going to school, coming home, and reading until I feel asleep, changed to waking up, checking my email, going to school, coming home, checking my email until I fell asleep.
We had decided to only use pen names for one another, it was something both of us felt more comfortable doing, I didn't want him to know who I was, and he seemed to be nervous telling me who he was.
So to him I was 'bastard' and to me, he was 'dope' it was like nicknames we used for one another, and with those names I felt even closer to him.
I had no idea where he lived, what city, or even what country, for all I knew he could have lived across the world and I would have had no idea, again it was something we both agreed on, we still had no idea if the other was some perverted old man trying to get some young teen kid to hook up with.
Though I had a feeling he wasn't, in a way I felt like I knew who he was, I felt like I had known him most of my life.
I awoke early one Saturday morning, and I stared towards my laptop, something was drawing me towards it, something was calling me towards my computer, something wanted me to read the email sent by 'dope' sometime during the night, as the machine booted up, I stared groggily at the screen, I could feel the bags under my eyes, my eye sight was still blurry trying to fight off the sleep that lingered in them.
I opened my email, and saw the new message sent by him during the night, the time and date inside showed me it was three am he had sent the email
“
Bastard, I have a problem, a pretty serious one too, and I could use some advice from my best friend... If you promise not to hate me, or make fun of me... I could use your advice... Dope” I stared at the email long and hard, and as soon as the words began to sink in I felt the blush creep up on my cheeks, I was his best friend? Though we knew nothing of the others name, or location, he considered me his best friend?
I hit the reply button, and sat there, unsure of what to write, what ever he needed advice for, it seemed urgent, and I was unsure of my feelings towards it... I didn't know how I could feel... I didn't know what it was.
But this was 'dope' my only friend, the only person in this world who could understand my feelings, someone who had too lost his parents at a young age, someone who too was left alone almost all the time, to try and keep himself company, someone who had too felt the loneliness of being detached from the world around him
“
I promise not to hate you, what is wrong dope?” I believe it was the first time I hadn't put in a mocking joke in one of my emails, I just felt it wasn't the time for it, something was bothering dope, and that alone made my gut twist and turn, as I waited for his reply.
It was minutes before his email appeared in my in box, though it had felt like hours to me
“
Okay, I trust you... Well my problem is... There is someone at school who I like.... Like I really REALLY like them... But there is a problem” He was having a love problem? And was coming to me for advice? Had I not just told him I hadn't even dated anyone, much less noticed anyone at school who I would be interested in?
“
I doubt I can be of much help, in case you forgot I am hopeless in the love department... But I will try... What is the problem exactly?” “Its fine really, I just... Okay well the problem is... He's a guy... And so am I”
I stared towards the email in shock, dope was gay, and he was opening up to me about it, he was having some serious love problems and he was coming to me about it
“
Uh... You are gay?” “
I'm sorry I told you... Look just forget it okay? Forget I said anything, I promise never to mention it again... Just don't hate me... You're the only friend in this world who understands..” “
I don't hate you... Its just a bit of a shock dope... So you like this guy... Tell him how you feel” “
Seriously? Just tell him? Are you insane?! He's like the most popular guy at my school! He's super hot! All the girls wanna date him, and besides I'm pretty sure he hates me, all I ever get from him at school is his harsh words, and stone cold glares” I felt myself frown at my friends words, obviously the guy whom dope had fallen for was a real stuck up ass hole, and it angered me knowing my friend was putting himself through that, it pissed me off knowing my best friend, my only friend was in love with a cruel heartless jerk, someone who didn't appreciate him...
But then I realized, if this was the person who would make dope happy, then that would make me happy, the happiness of my friend was far more important then anything else
“
Stop being a coward, for all you know he could really like you, but he is just shy, you know how mothers always tell their little girls 'if a boy is mean to you, or picks on you, it means he likes you'? Same goes for all guys, at least that's what I have read... You never know what will happen until you confess!” I could almost swear I could see his smile through his next email, though there were only two words, it was two words that made my heart swell, and crush at the same time
“
Thank you” Monday had come all too soon, and dope never mentioned anything about his 'crush' again after that.
At lunch I had taken my spot by my usual table, to eat alone in silence, reading my newest book.
I felt a presence behind me, and slowly lowered my book, my eyes narrowing at the blonde standing there.
Naruto Uzumaki, the worst student in our class, the class clown, the idiot of idiots was standing behind me, his sky blue eyes watching me, his tan, whisker marked cheeks tinted a faint pink colour.
No matter how many times I pushed that idiot away, telling him I did not want to be his friend, much less breathe the same air as him, he continued to pester me, to annoy me
And today was no different
“What do you want?”
“I... Sasuke... Can... We talk?”
“What do you think we are doing now? Chatting with telekinesis?”
“I mean.... In private?” I was beyond annoyed now, his voice was barely over a whisper, everything about this scene was irritating me
“I am not going to follow you off somewhere because you are a damn coward, speak or leave, that's your choice right now!” After seeing the tears filling his blue eyes I felt a ping of guilt, perhaps I was too cruel towards him? Perhaps I should have just followed him, this situation was obviously embarrassing him now that he had the entire cafeteria staring towards our direction
“I... I um...”
“Speak already!”
“I was hoping we could go out for a coffee o-or something after school?” I felt the last bit of patience snap, every day he would ask me to 'hang out' with him, every day he would harass me, endlessly trying to become my friend.
I knew why he wanted to be my friend, I was rich, everyone wanted to be friends with the rich kid, hell he could buy all his friends what ever they wanted, they were all the same...
All of them except dope, dope liked me for who I was, he liked me for me, not for my cash, not for my looks, he liked me because we understood each other
“I... I really like you Sasuke” His voice was barely above a whisper, his hands tightened at his sides, and shook with nerves
“You.... You're fag?!” That word I had never used before, I would never have used it towards dope, I would never have used it ever, except Naruto had pissed me off.
I wanted him to get the point, I did not want him as a friend, I did not want him as a lover, I did not want anything to do with him.
My voice was loud enough to echo off the walls of the cafeteria, soon the room filled with hush whispers, and small giggles.
Naruto's eyes crushed me, I felt my chest begin to tighten, and I regretted what I had done only seconds after.
He was heart broken, he was crushed.
He was emotionally dead
“I.... I'm sorry if... It offended you... Bastard!” His voice screamed towards me, I watched him turn on his heels and storm off out of the cafeteria.
The rest of the day I hadn't seen Naruto, though I tried to keep him from my thoughts, it irked me, something about those broken blue orbs crushed me, it was as if I had hurt someone precious to me.
When I arrived home I was shocked to see no new emails from dope, maybe he and his crush had gone out on a date? Maybe he was having the time of his life with the man he loved?
The thought of dope happy made me happy, so happy I began to cry.
But soon my tears of happiness became tears of sorrow, I was going to loose dope to this 'perfect man' I was going to loose the only person in this life who I could connect with.
Then it dawned on me, it wasn't a friendship feeling I had for dope, no, it went far beyond that, I was in love with him, I had fallen in love with the faceless pen pal I had made only months ago.
I had fallen in love with a man whom I had never seen, never heard, and never even got his name.
It was around ten pm when he finally emailed me, at first I was tempted to just ignore it, the last thing I wanted to hear was his exciting day filled with love, and excitement.
But that feeling took over once again, that feeling that I was desperately needed to help my friend, so I slowly pulled myself out of bed, and stumbled towards my computer, opening the email
“
I did it, I confessed my feelings” “
What happened? You're emailing pretty late, did he take you out on a date?” “
No... I'm actually at the hospital right now... Using my phone to message you” I felt sick to the pit of my stomach, had dope's confession lead him to be assaulted by his crush? Had I in some way caused this visit to the hospital to happen?!
“
What happened?! Are you okay?!” Again his reply only took minutes, but it felt like an eternity, I was worried for him, I was scared, how serious was his injuries?
“
He doesn't have any feelings for me... He made that perfectly clear when he called me a fag at the top of his lungs for the whole cafeteria to hear.... After that I was attacked behind the school... I got beat up pretty bad for being a 'fag'... But you know the worst part of it all? The worst part is... I will never be 'perfect' for him.... Rich bastard! Fucking Uchiha!” It clicked.
I felt my world crumble down around me, the emails of dope's confession to me ran through my head
'besides I'm pretty sure he hates me, all I ever get from him at school is his harsh words, and stone cold glares' I stared towards his email, I don't know how long for, my heart crushed under the weight of my guilt, I had been the one to convince dope to confess, and I had been the one who cruelly pushed his confession away.
It WAS all my fault, everything that happened to dope was my fault...
“
I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry dope... I caused this...” “
No... You're not him.... He caused this... You are the only one I can talk to.... You are the only one who can understand me right now” God it hurt so much reading his emails now, I felt like shit, I felt like I was going to vomit into my own hand
“
I did cause this dope... I'm so sorry” After that I closed my computer, letting it go off into a sleep, as I stared towards the wall.
I had fallen in love with the hyper, insomniac teen whom I had been emailing for four months now, I had fallen in love with him, and in some cruel twist of fate hurt him.
The next morning I skipped school, and instead of turning right on the fork in the road, I had gone left, away from the school, and towards the only hospital Konoha city had owned.
The hospital had been owned and run by my family's company, so getting the information from the nurses had been fairly easy.
As I stepped along the halls, I stopped by a small gift shop, picking up a small boutique of orange and red flowers.
As I got closer to the large shared room, I felt myself shudder, I was hoping I had been wrong, maybe the dope wasn't who I assumed, maybe my dope was talking about another Uchiha... It was unlikely, but not impossible, I slowly pushed the door open, and stared towards the blonde seated upon the bed by the window.
His left eye was bruised and swollen shut, while his right eye stared in a broken gaze towards the garden outside, his body was littered with cuts, bruises, and burns.
And it was then I noticed the discoloured marks upon his neck, hell it was easy to see just how far those ass holes had gone.
Dopes message ran through my head once more, and I finally understood his words
'But you know the worst part of it all? The worst part is... I will never be 'perfect' for him.... Rich bastard!' He felt imperfect.... He felt tainted, dirty, and filthy.
Why hadn't dope told me this is what they had done to him? Why hadn't he told me they forced him to do sexual acts! Why had he not told me?!
Shame.
It was in his eyes when he finally looked over at me, the look of shame, and self loath.
He turned his head away from me, I could see his body shudder under my gaze, how disgusted he felt, I could see the disgust in his eye, as tears began to leak down his cheeks, through his swollen left eye
“What do you want?” his voice cracked, his hands gripped tightly onto his blanket, they shook slightly in fear this time.
He was fearful of my presences
“I heard you where in the hospital... I... I'm sorry” I saw his body stiffen slightly, I saw the tears run faster down his cheeks, though he turned his head to hide them, I still saw
“Its all my fault... I never meant for this.... I'm so sorry”
“Don't.... I don't want to hear your lies... Did the teachers tell you to come apologize to me!? They threatening to fail you if you don't!? I don't care Uchiha! I don't care what you have to say anymore!” I continued to stare towards him, then slowly lowered the flowers to the bedside table, took my phone from my pocket, and opened my email
“
Then at least hear what I have to say dope” It took a moment before his phone buzzed, and chimed, but as soon as it did his eye light up with hope, he opened his email and stared at the words for a moment, before slowly turning back towards me, a look of shock and horror written on his face.
Not only was it a confession to whom I was, but it was confirmation for myself that my suspicions were true.
I had convinced Naruto Uzumaki to confess to me, I had shot him down, I had been the cause for his beating, for his rape.
It was all my doing
“Get out”
“Please... Just hear me out”
“Get out now!” He screamed towards me, his hands shaking violently, I hadn't expected his reaction to be like this, I hadn't of expected him to react like so.
Actually I didn't know what to expect.
I tried to approach him, to try and calm his hysteria down, I was met with his phone to my nose, I could hear the cartilage crushing under the violent toss of the plastic object, I knew my nose was bleeding, I knew I was injured.
But my pain was nothing compared to what he was feeling, my shame of his reactions was nothing compared to the shame he was suffering now
“I'm so sorry” I mumbled softly as I exited the room.
That incident had happened almost a month ago, the boys who had caused Naruto's injuries were suspended, never welcomed back at the school again.
Naruto had gotten more friends, people who had become inspired by Naruto's courage, by his coming out.
I had watched from a distance as Naruto began to get popular, how the younger students would look up to him, how the older students would watch him with slight pride, and affection in their eyes.
Naruto was brave, he was strong, he had over come the pain and humiliation.
But he would never over come the hate he now harboured for me.
He deleted his email, refusing to have any contact with me, he didn't dare talk to me at school, much less walk the same hall as me, I was nothing more then a ghost to him.
I was nothing more, then a painful past.
Graduation is just weeks away now, and though I have changed schools, I still see Naruto from time to time, I try to avoid him, to keep him from seeing me, every time he does, he always gets a pained look in his eyes, a look I cannot bear to stand.
As I arrived home, I did my normal routine, I came home, sat down at my computer, and study, it was all my computer was used for now.
I noticed my email flashing, so I opened it, and stared in shock at the email sitting there, waiting to be read
“
Bastard, I hate how we left things.... I know its been a while... A few years.... Can we talk?... Maybe in private this time?” I stared at the words in shock, and felt a slight hope rising within me, I rolled the arrow towards the reply button, my fingers clicking against the keyboard, I stared at the screen before me, watching as the only word I could muster was formed
“
Where?” END
