Happiness: A Confusing and Elusive State
folder
Naruto › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
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1,985
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
Naruto › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
Views:
1,985
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. This is strictly for the purpose of entertainment.
The Confusion of Happiness
A/N: Mostly an introduction chapter. Nothing sexy here, but rather, the confusion of a teenager. I don't plan on this being too long, but who know what'll happen. Enjoy!
Things had really been calming down since the defeat of Kaguya. There'd been a sort of an awe that people treated Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura with as they went about their business. The whole of the shinobi world was recovering from the fourth shinobi war, and Naruto was among the prominent members of the restoration committee.
But with the chaos settling down, there was a certain calm that came over Naruto. With the battle over, he could focus on settling down. He'd had enough of the fighting and was glad to lead a somewhat normal life despite the reverence everyone treated him with. He didn't mind, but he wished mostly for the company of his friends, who still treated him the same.
A problem had been plaguing Naruto though. Through the flames of battle, he felt a different flame. A flame that had been faint yet ever-present since some time long ago he could never recall. It was a flame of passion. It was not for Sakura or Hinata but rather Sasuke. There was a major problem though.
He simply couldn't decide whether he wanted to try to settle down with Sasuke or Sakura or even Hinata. While the last two would guarantee the continuation of his clan, the first would be lacking in this. After much thought, Naruto came to the conclusion that it boiled down to one issue. Do I like men or women?
It was a question that tormented his thoughts and led to troubled nights. Finally, he reached a solution that might help him. He found a free day and fled into the woods. He found a clearing, far from anyone, where he could experiment. With a few quick hand signs, two clones stood before him. To try and keep it unbiased, he simply kept them as himself.
He had them both undress and one use the Sexy no Jutsu. He kept their faces obscured by smoke to try and make it less weird for himself. He looked at the male figure, admiring the raw power of it. The masculinity, it appealed to him. But, he couldn't help sneaking a few glances at the female figure.
He focused on the other figure. The curves, the feministic appeal. It looked like nurturing and life. But he found the same problem as focusing on the male figure. There was a strength to it that drew his attention away in short burst before he wrenched himself back to the female figure.
He did not know how long he stood in that clearing, staring at one body, glancing occasionally at the other, then switching between them. He gave a shout of frustration, undoing the jutsu. With a flurry of blows, he felled several dozen trees, trying to grasp at what was happening.
After a few minutes, he sat down in the center of the clearing and began to meditate. There was something more to this problem. His confusion on the physical aspect was not helping, so he turned to a different approach. What if it was not the physicality but the mentality and the person that appealed to him? He thought about his interests. What did he know about them? Why did he like them? What were they like?
Sakura, the crush of his childhood. He never could pinpoint the reason for his attraction. She was smart, strong, sweet, and given him a confession. But it didn't feel right. The feelings he had for her during the Wave mission and the chunin exam had faded. It felt more appropriate to call her a friend now. Maybe he could rekindle the passion but he didn't feel like he could be happy with her. Not anymore...
Hinata, the girl who had loved him from afar. There was something about her shyness and inner strength that he felt attracted to. She'd grown immeasurably in the past few years. He remembered her confession, the pain he'd felt when he thought she died. He felt the passion he had for Sakura shift to Hinata. He knew that she was as dependable as any of his teammates, something he felt he would appreciate in the coming years if he settled down.
Sasuke, the stubborn jackass he called his rival. There was no doubt that he would cause the most problems. For one, he didn't know how the village would react. They could just as easily hate or accept this choice. Sasuke had really changed. Naruto knew he was a decent person. He knew of his devotion to his goals. But other than that, he really didn't know much about him. He didn't know if he could be happy or not with him.
He frowned. Despite his thinking he couldn't give himself a definite answer. He didn't want to rush into this. And what of the feelings of the others? Hinata would be devasted if he rejected her. Naruto didn't want to do that on purpose nor did he want to sacrifice his own happiness for hers. There just wasn't enough to go off of.
He channeled his frustration once again into the surrounding trees. Suddenly another thought occurred to him. Why not spend time with both? He wanted to have more information for his dilemma, so why deny himself? Hinata would be more than willing to spend time with him, but Sasuke was a problem.
He knew that Sasuke respected him, but he was afraid of his feelings. More than likely, he didn't feel the same about him. But he couldn't ignore his curiosity. He wanted to know Sasuke, to know his true self. Most importantly, he wanted to know if they could be happy together.
Filled with a fierce determination, he raced back to the village. He knew not what lie ahead, but he wanted to cut through the unknown. This would be perhaps the biggest decision of his life. It was who he would spend his life with and maybe even raise a family with. His earlier confusion had turned to clarity, but with that clarity, an even more confusing mass of fog was ahead. He wanted to know with whom he could be most happy.
Things had really been calming down since the defeat of Kaguya. There'd been a sort of an awe that people treated Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura with as they went about their business. The whole of the shinobi world was recovering from the fourth shinobi war, and Naruto was among the prominent members of the restoration committee.
But with the chaos settling down, there was a certain calm that came over Naruto. With the battle over, he could focus on settling down. He'd had enough of the fighting and was glad to lead a somewhat normal life despite the reverence everyone treated him with. He didn't mind, but he wished mostly for the company of his friends, who still treated him the same.
A problem had been plaguing Naruto though. Through the flames of battle, he felt a different flame. A flame that had been faint yet ever-present since some time long ago he could never recall. It was a flame of passion. It was not for Sakura or Hinata but rather Sasuke. There was a major problem though.
He simply couldn't decide whether he wanted to try to settle down with Sasuke or Sakura or even Hinata. While the last two would guarantee the continuation of his clan, the first would be lacking in this. After much thought, Naruto came to the conclusion that it boiled down to one issue. Do I like men or women?
It was a question that tormented his thoughts and led to troubled nights. Finally, he reached a solution that might help him. He found a free day and fled into the woods. He found a clearing, far from anyone, where he could experiment. With a few quick hand signs, two clones stood before him. To try and keep it unbiased, he simply kept them as himself.
He had them both undress and one use the Sexy no Jutsu. He kept their faces obscured by smoke to try and make it less weird for himself. He looked at the male figure, admiring the raw power of it. The masculinity, it appealed to him. But, he couldn't help sneaking a few glances at the female figure.
He focused on the other figure. The curves, the feministic appeal. It looked like nurturing and life. But he found the same problem as focusing on the male figure. There was a strength to it that drew his attention away in short burst before he wrenched himself back to the female figure.
He did not know how long he stood in that clearing, staring at one body, glancing occasionally at the other, then switching between them. He gave a shout of frustration, undoing the jutsu. With a flurry of blows, he felled several dozen trees, trying to grasp at what was happening.
After a few minutes, he sat down in the center of the clearing and began to meditate. There was something more to this problem. His confusion on the physical aspect was not helping, so he turned to a different approach. What if it was not the physicality but the mentality and the person that appealed to him? He thought about his interests. What did he know about them? Why did he like them? What were they like?
Sakura, the crush of his childhood. He never could pinpoint the reason for his attraction. She was smart, strong, sweet, and given him a confession. But it didn't feel right. The feelings he had for her during the Wave mission and the chunin exam had faded. It felt more appropriate to call her a friend now. Maybe he could rekindle the passion but he didn't feel like he could be happy with her. Not anymore...
Hinata, the girl who had loved him from afar. There was something about her shyness and inner strength that he felt attracted to. She'd grown immeasurably in the past few years. He remembered her confession, the pain he'd felt when he thought she died. He felt the passion he had for Sakura shift to Hinata. He knew that she was as dependable as any of his teammates, something he felt he would appreciate in the coming years if he settled down.
Sasuke, the stubborn jackass he called his rival. There was no doubt that he would cause the most problems. For one, he didn't know how the village would react. They could just as easily hate or accept this choice. Sasuke had really changed. Naruto knew he was a decent person. He knew of his devotion to his goals. But other than that, he really didn't know much about him. He didn't know if he could be happy or not with him.
He frowned. Despite his thinking he couldn't give himself a definite answer. He didn't want to rush into this. And what of the feelings of the others? Hinata would be devasted if he rejected her. Naruto didn't want to do that on purpose nor did he want to sacrifice his own happiness for hers. There just wasn't enough to go off of.
He channeled his frustration once again into the surrounding trees. Suddenly another thought occurred to him. Why not spend time with both? He wanted to have more information for his dilemma, so why deny himself? Hinata would be more than willing to spend time with him, but Sasuke was a problem.
He knew that Sasuke respected him, but he was afraid of his feelings. More than likely, he didn't feel the same about him. But he couldn't ignore his curiosity. He wanted to know Sasuke, to know his true self. Most importantly, he wanted to know if they could be happy together.
Filled with a fierce determination, he raced back to the village. He knew not what lie ahead, but he wanted to cut through the unknown. This would be perhaps the biggest decision of his life. It was who he would spend his life with and maybe even raise a family with. His earlier confusion had turned to clarity, but with that clarity, an even more confusing mass of fog was ahead. He wanted to know with whom he could be most happy.