rate_review Reviews

I am loving this story. It's so silly and cute. *^^* The Sasuke/Naruto interaction is entertaining on its own, but I actually quite like Shina-chan. ^^ I'm usually not terribly fond of OC's - not because I have anything against OC's, but because they just normally don't seem to be written or developed well enough - but I do like yours. She's just too amusing. Please continue soon. :)

I think this story is so funny. I liked the "LIES" part. I have something similar in my own story. Great minds think alike.
Update soon!

-Chelsey-

(Ch. 4)
Much *much* better than the other chapters. A little less spelling mistakes, and a little less out-of-place question marks. You still need to work on it. Do you have a beta-reader? You need someone to look your story over before posting a chapter. It's really improtant. The spelling mistakes and oddly-placed question marks really are a menace.

Other then that, you need to make sure Shina doesn't turn into a Mary sue. One of the reasons I hadn't read the story earlier was the odd summary. You need to pre-state the use of an OC.

Chapter wise, I'm in lala land. I just LOVED Naruto-kun's Plan B. I hope Plan A fails. XDD


Hope to see the next chapter with heed to my review,
Until then,
Ja ne~

Much easier to read^_^
YAY more more more...
I don't have good enough brainfunction to
make a good review right now @.@

hehehe naru-chan in his boxers tralalaa.... poor sasu-chan cant stop thinking about naru in his boxers... and having kakashi as shina's sensei?? poor shina and her team... this is a great fic plz update soon ^o^

hehe interesting start (i've only read the first chapter ^^). It was witty, and fun to read. Just one comment though, if Sakura's 22 then that means Sasuke's 22 also right? I thought Itachi was only a few years older than Sasuke, like 4-5 years. If Shina's 14, then that meant Itachi had a kid when he was only 12 or something? Wouldn't that be before he actually murdered his whole clan? The numbers just don't seem to add up ^^;;; Oh well...I'll go read the next chapter.

this story rocks! I absolutely love it ^^ I'm dying to know what happens to our main characters... I sense they're close to something fun... please please continue this excellent story!! Your writing is fun to read although sometimes the spacing makes it hard to go through large chunks of dialogue all at once. But that's really not very important, is it? ^^
Anyway, loooove the story, can't wait to find out what happens next!

omg...
This is DEFFINETLY one of the BEST SasuNaru stories I've read in awhile!
Its halariously funny, its nicely written, details and everything, and everyones' in character!!
What more could a fangirl like me want?!?!
Well... I DO want something else, but I'm pretty sure you'll take care of it eventually ^^ (some SasuNaru loving!XD)
I had SO much fun reading this...
I was constantly laughing my ass off at Shina's antics. I love her ^^ She seems alittle like me...
Man~,If I had a uncle like Sasuke and a friend like Naruto and they seemingly liked each other, hell yeah, I'll become a certified match-maker! XD

I REALLY love this ides, you have my props!

Keep up the awesomely good work ^_~*

-(Emina) <- who is too lazy to sign in -_-;

(Ch. 1-3) A little too random, and slightly beating around the bush.
You need to add a glossary when ever using any added romanji-ed Japanese; suffix, words, sentences, etc.
Antoher thing; you tend to add a lot of question marks in places that do not require one. It cuts the flow of the story, and that is NOT a good thing. Also, try and create more spaces between paragrhaps; it strains the eyes, seeing it all jumbled up as it is.
Also, go over the story before posting it, please. You tend to have confused words, switched letters. (i.e. 'for' written 'fro'.)Which also gets in the way of the "flow" of the story.

Besides all my previous comments, I like the idea and hope to see you improuve in later chapters.
Oh, and the Nirvana refrence ["Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you"] had me giggling. Though you might want to add a disclaimer to that. And to the story in overall. It's illegal to write a fanfiction without a disclaimer. Seriosuly.

Anyway, until the next time you update,
Ja ne~

LMAO. Awesome. coolsa.