AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Broken Glass Syndrome

by ThePhraseThatPays

person dakara
schedule October 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
AAAAAAaaaaaa wonderfull!!! love it!! write more will you ^______^
person yaoi lover 12
schedule July 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Not bad. Great angst. Keep going.
person lo
schedule July 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Intersting, not bad, a like into the inner turnoil of the charaters. Good job just watch for grammer and tenses (past, presnt, and future) Keep up the good work.
person Suki
schedule July 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yes drabbley drabbley. You should just combine the first couple of chapters, then it won't be a drabble. But I liked it anyway! I really liked the last chapter the most, you should definately finish this one!
person Emily Saeke
schedule July 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Okay good start, but the chapters need to be WAY longer. All five of your chapters where more like one. Instead of doing one chapter everytime POV changes, try a new paragraph, 5th Chapter was okay for that. Aside from chapter lenght, it's really quite good so keep up the good work and I can't wait for the next chapter to come up ^^
person DeadUchiha
schedule July 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Damn! Now that's random! Good though! Lot's of angst for such a small package! *chuckles for no reason* It sure does leave the reader questioning...
*winks*
d(^-^)b
person Adan
schedule July 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This story looks like it could be really good, but try to make your chapters a little bit longer. I'm lovin it so far! ^_^
~Adan