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April 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
you going 2 finsh this o0
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March 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
ok it is one of the more intresting storys i have read but do go on i would like to see were you would take this
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August 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i like this fic lke i like pie but if you make more chaps then i can start liking this more then pie
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August 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Story started up really good nice keep going as long as your marge is small enough then i dont care as long as i can read it but ill try to understand some of the mistakes you made
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August 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
yo dude i aint a fan of yaoi either cuz gay sex rlly screws my mind up and i LOVEY YOUR FIC WOOT!!!!!! i cant wait for the updates man rock on dude rock on
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August 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
holy shit dude i think im beginning to like this fic even more.... but maybe ill be able to love it... alot ill be checking daily for updates
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August 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
dang man nice story you started 10 years more huh?
hell be 23 wat about tsunade? i wonder if shes gonna croack... hmmmm i wouldnt want her to because shes hot even if shes old i dont care rlly... butyou do wat you want with your story ill be rootn for ya
hell be 23 wat about tsunade? i wonder if shes gonna croack... hmmmm i wouldnt want her to because shes hot even if shes old i dont care rlly... butyou do wat you want with your story ill be rootn for ya
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July 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like this fic, can't wait till the next chapters!!
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July 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Better than the previous chapter. But the characters feel detached. Tsunade and Naruto looked as if they were discussing trivial facts, not painful, life-altering events.
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July 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Given the kind of scene it is, I need some more of your fic before forming an opinion. The 'Naruto grieves after breaking his promise by killing Sasuke' scene looks similar from fic to fic.
You need to work on your punctuation. You missed many, many commas and full stops.
Whenever a character starts talking, change line. It makes the chapter look cleaner.
For some reason, your paragraphs don't adjust to the same margins the rest of the stories do. I know nothing about formating, so I can't help you there. Sorry.
You need to work on your punctuation. You missed many, many commas and full stops.
Whenever a character starts talking, change line. It makes the chapter look cleaner.
For some reason, your paragraphs don't adjust to the same margins the rest of the stories do. I know nothing about formating, so I can't help you there. Sorry.