rate_review Reviews

I just wanted to say I loved how you started this, it really sounds like it'll be a great fanfic already.

But, I want to comment on one thing; about the NaruSasu thing.

I thought, just by reading chapter one, it'll be SasuNaru, not the other way around.

With Naruto being the one asking and Sasuke seeming like the older one, even with the thinking of 'He doesn't look older then twenty' comment.

I *really* hope it'll be SasuNaru, because I dunno... I think it would *fit* better, y'know?

But, then again, it's your fic, you can go whatever you want ^^

I'm just putting my two-cents in.

All-in-all, I love this story already. So keep it up and update soon ^^

o.x ugh, now I'm confused... after reading the other reveiws... I'm confused whos' WHO! ><

Man, I think I got Sasuke and Naruto's places in the story mixed up..

But, that should be another issue you should work out, try to be more obvious when you're portraying a character, because I couldn't tell the difference of either of them ^^;

If anything, I suggest you rewrite it and get a beta, I'll be glad to read-over your work for you, if you like.

But, if anything, I like your idea.
Just keep at it, and if you need some help or anything, my AIM screennames are IIHeavensDriveII or Vote4SasuNaru. feel free to IM me when you see me on.
And my email's xxHypnotic_distortionxx@yahoo.com. ^^

This was definately interesting; doing the scene from both Naruto's and Sasuke's POV was a nice touch as it allowed us to see what both characters were thinking at the time. I like the idea that this is going to be more lighthearted; I like angst but I see so much of it that I'm becoming immune to every characters sob stories. It'd be nice if Naruto is only four or five years older than Sasuke; then he's a young elite executive even if (if he has his original personality) he's bright and happy-go-lucky.
Please don't answer reviews like you did at chapter 2, just answer them at the end of the next chapter or something. I got excited thinking there was a whole nother chapter but it was a lie...

Well, I do have to agree I have a habit of starting debates in review boards. But hey, I guess that's good for you macy, since that means you'll get more reviews :) However, I'm actually kind of sorry I posted in the first place...but not because I'm offended with what those strikingly brilliant reviewers like omg have to say. And I'm glad it sounds like you're working on improving some of the errors I saw in the first chapter. Also, I never expected you to be as good as some of the writers in the fanfiction world; however, I was trying to point out the reason that I don't think this story will be as good is because of those aforementioned things I didn't like. In no way did I suggest that just because your writing style is not up to par with others, does that make you a bad writer. Even if some fics aren't as good as others, they can still be very good in their own right. Anyway, I'm of the opinion that the whole reason for posting should be to offer the writer more constructive criticism than a simple "Update soon" or "That fic sucks." Unfortunately, now it seems that people are more trying to engage me in a debate (often nasty and personal, since they don't have any good arguments) instead of concentrating on your story and how to make it better. The point of posting is not to defend why a fic is already good, but to offer advice on how to make it better. And attacking another reviewer simply does not accomplish that. Yet because I posted, people now have their hackles all up and their teeth bared (not that I care). And I feel that's really unfair to you macy. It really is. You're a good-enough writer that you deserve honest feedback like mine, instead of a huge, nasty fight in your review board. So, in my last post, I will simply say that I'm glad it sounds like you've taken some of my criticism into consideration, and that you'll improve on the OOC to make it more in-character, that it sounds like you recognize and acknowledge the inherent dangers of writing an AU fic, and that you enjoyed reading my review. My whole intent was not to bash (otherwise, I would've just stooped to the level of OMG and said 'fuck you'), but to tell you what I liked and didn't like in the hopes that you'll do better next chapter -- which, of course, I'm looking forward to...

niiice Salaryman Naruto makes me drool :D Dunno how much I like Sasuke prostituting himself...but I don't care much for Sasuke anyway. Nice story going on though, and yeah you're right lol it is more of a teaser, but it'll be ok if you update the story with a new chapter ;) lol :P But seriously, it's an eye-catching plot lol...I wanna see what happens next.

I'm going to tell you that I kind of disagree with Yaoilover12.

The characters are not ooc, for now at least, and this is an AU, but apparantly this person didn't think about that yet...

But I have to agree, that his/her opinion on this matter could be true: it could work out crapily, so add some background stuff for Naruto and Sasuke in, like you could have Sasuke think about his brother and stuff.

As last, to Yaoilover12: What's wrong with having one character older then another character, while they aren't in the series? Or do you find the idea of NaruSasu instead of Sasunaru icky? And well, to be honest, Naruto is a bigger pervert in the series then he is in this story, at least, if macy doesn't decide to make him a decennia older...(please awnser this by e-mail, YL12, because we wouldn't want to pollute the review-board with our discussion, now would we?

Yaoiluver12 or whatever your name is. You are being totally anal, unreasonable, and more than that, seriously rude. For real, a lot of the things you said in your reviews were totally unnecessary and are simply based on your own unbelievably biased opinion. What you did was not constuctive at all for the author and the fact that you compaired their work to other fics and said that it wouldn't ever be as good as them? That's just mean. Personally, if i was the the author, i would delete your badmouthing reviews. So, here's my opinion on it, and i mean it literally, Go fuck yourself to one of those fics that you think is so much better and keep your badmouthing reviews to yourself.

I agree with Thera! And besides, this is only chapter 1.
Why can't naruto be older than sasuke? Sasuke doesn't always have to be the bigger and more dominating one.I don't think naruto sounds very middle-aged, but you may want to clarify his actual age?This is an AU fic anyway.
Don't worry about it, i think this fic is going somewhere. Your characters aren't "screwed up". I'm sure you're be added more details in future chapters, since its just chapter 1. Very little spelling mistakes, and so your fic is easy and nice to read =) Umm.. i should stop rambling.
I like the plot, keep updating!

Oh my, seems like you've started quite a beast in the review boards. Hn, anyway, you did a good job on writing in 2nd person point of view. Sadly, I have to say that I don't usually read 2nd pov because it has never appealed to me much over 3rd. Err... but that's another story that has nothing to do with this, la la la.

I hope you don't pay great mind to the harsh!critiques you get -- I mean, sure, critique is good, but sometimes they're... um... well, they're just not critique that can help you. Once again, I'd address the factor of AU-ness vs OCC and all that crap... blah blah blah, you get the point. The main point I've probably been wanting to get to is that: Yes, Uchiha Sasuke would probably whore himself. Yaoilover12, you should go read some Orochimaru/Sasuke stuff. Very well considered whoring-ness, if I may say so. Plus, you know, Kishimoto-sensei/san/sama/whateverfangirlswanttocallhim? has made a few mistakes throughout the Naruto manga, yo. Haha, and you know what? Why yes, yes I have read/watched/obsessed over Naruto and this is what I think. Oh, the shock. You are one, not all, so do not gather me with and to you.

What else... what else. Can't think of anything because my attention span can only last so far... la la. Please, be a little more considerate and DO NOT compare one writer's works to another. Yes, I know Gelfling's works are absolutely wonderful [read: sexual] and Reflections is alright in its own unique way, but you DO NOT compare and consequently put down another author by saying they will never reach the potential or "standards" of any other writer. You can not be the judge of that. Argh. I can not stress enough how your condescending tone irks me! It's very rude.

Aside from all that, I'm glad to see another Naru/Sasu writer out in the deep, dark wild XD. Like yo, keep up the good work!

well i'm interested ^_^ be looking foward to the next update