rate_review Reviews

There are a few things you could do that would make this a lot better. First, don't use the "yaoisexy" things as linebreaks. True though it may be, it draws attention away from the story. Just use something simple like three centered asteriks (***).
Second, don't put author's notes anywhere within the story. Putting an author's note in the middle of a paragraph interrupts the flow of the writing... it's annoying when you're following along with the story and then you suddenly come across a randon "A/N". They should be either at the begining or at the end, and keep them short. If there's something in the story that you feel needs to be explained (like the definition of a word) then just put an asterik next to the word, and then another at the end with an explanatory note.
Third, when you're introducing a scene, writing out what is happening looks a lot better than just putting "***An Hour Later***…..still playing Truth or Dare". It takes more time but the end result is worth it. Making small changes like this will improve the story greatly.

Why would Sasuke have a sleepover party?

haha! nice

This is so great!! I laughed out loud for so long that my mom came in to tell me to be quiet!! Please hurry on your updates!!

MY GOD! I'll just die if i go online tomorrrow and you haven't updated this! I read the first chapter and was gonna wait till the second to review, just to see how well it was gonna go! Loved the striptease (i'm such a Neji-fangirl *KYAA*!)

And the last line of this was fantastically timed...I'm soooooooo looking foward to the next chapter! You have to update! Look...I'll even pay you! *gets out frog-purse (yes i actually have one...lol) *realises i'm a poor Japanese student* *deflates* Well i WOULD pay you if i had the cash...but PLEASE update! PLEASE! My GOD! So hot...lol

Hellagoddess

Update pleeeeeeze! This story is awesome... *drool* Neji is sexy *drools more*