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September 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
LMAO
What fun! Luv it.
What fun! Luv it.
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August 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow! Very amusing! I had to put myself up to not to laugh loudly after reading what Neji thought before seeing Sasuke. That was priceless!!
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August 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
That was very, very amusing. The idea was funny, the plot was funny, the whole thing was funny. I really liked your wording, the simplicity of it, and the attitude you gave Neji. Granted, he was rabidly OOC, but this is a humor fic, so that's to be expected. I liked the high-maintenance aspect, because not only was it amusing, but it's plausible. Neji does come from an important family, so even if he's not quite so obvious about it, I can see him being the high-maintenance type.
A few suggestions- when you're doing thoughts, maybe use italics instead of the symbol around them? The symbol itself sort of took away from the story, since it's not usually used in prose writing. Also, something about your formatting was a bit off. Obviously, this wasn't your fault, but I just thought that I'd let you know that a few of your paragraphs seemed to have been split apart mid-sentence. It made some things a bit difficult to understand, when it seemed that a paragraph had ended, but then the last sentence was continued in the next paragraph.
Anyway, I liked it a lot; good job.
A few suggestions- when you're doing thoughts, maybe use italics instead of the symbol around them? The symbol itself sort of took away from the story, since it's not usually used in prose writing. Also, something about your formatting was a bit off. Obviously, this wasn't your fault, but I just thought that I'd let you know that a few of your paragraphs seemed to have been split apart mid-sentence. It made some things a bit difficult to understand, when it seemed that a paragraph had ended, but then the last sentence was continued in the next paragraph.
Anyway, I liked it a lot; good job.