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April 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
No, Sasuke did not deserve this. I'm not gonna bother putting down why, because if you can't figure out then there really is no point. The fic has many errors and I'm not just talking about the grammer or spelling, another reviewer already pointed it out.
And I've read some of your fics and they're pretty good except for this. Its hard not to flame, but really you disappoint me :(
And I've read some of your fics and they're pretty good except for this. Its hard not to flame, but really you disappoint me :(
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August 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Fuck. I tried, sorry. It's still at 4. I'm sorry! I still love this story. So I was reading the reviews to this story. And I really want to tell people to fuck-off..I love your stories, don't listen to those assholes. I'm not saying anyone in general, either. So for those who think I'm talking about you..I'm probably not.
I hope I didn't just jeopardize my account on AFF.
*huggles*
I hope I didn't just jeopardize my account on AFF.
*huggles*
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August 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
(not logged in) Gah! I'm so mad..you only got 4 stars for the rating for this story! It's so better than that..so I'm going to rate! and hopefully have an effect on the ratings! I also noticed that you only had 2 people rate the sequel to this..What the fuck is up with that? I honestly think you don't get the thanks you deserve. your stories kick ass..and they don't get enough praise as they should.
Talk to you later, and are you still doing a one-shot for me? Pretty Pretty Please!!
Free cookies!! XD
Talk to you later, and are you still doing a one-shot for me? Pretty Pretty Please!!
Free cookies!! XD
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August 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Haha, I know..and I'm sorry! I was talking about it with Crimson2006 (nicely)..and I think she said it was Don't tell Sasuke..I'm not sure where that title from. I'm not saying it was her, and I'm not blaming her either..but then I was looking for it..and i was like...crap!!! So I changed it!! The Ramen Club was updated like 20 minutes ago..but It's at the bottom..hmm..!
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August 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Omg. I loved this. God! Gaara pisses me off! How could Naruto do that?? What Naruto needs to do..is just blow off Gaara. This is like the only fic where I actually hate Gaara. How could everyone else know? Bitches...It was good..but grr, extremely angsty. Naruto has problems...ugh. How could he sing a song like that...I'm sorry about ranting..but geez. He's so stupid...
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June 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
to bad theres not a sequel to this,now that would be fun!
Do love ur song,is it based on Scotty doesn't know?
Anyways good job on it love Gaara/Naru and ur right,Sassy-chan deserved something bad to happen to him after hurting Naruto all the time and so often.Nicely done.
Do love ur song,is it based on Scotty doesn't know?
Anyways good job on it love Gaara/Naru and ur right,Sassy-chan deserved something bad to happen to him after hurting Naruto all the time and so often.Nicely done.
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March 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
i fucking loved this story i hate sasuke and he doesnt deserve naruto i sick and tired of all the love love crap with sasuke and naruto about time sumone had the balls to write sumthing like this u rock and so did this story but next time make sasuke a litlle more meaner in the story so everyone will hate him so when naru leaves him in a dramatic way like this he will really deserve it because although i haaaaaaaaaate HATE sasuke that was really kinda mean ........but i loved it plz write more lol ^^
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February 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
...trying...not...to...flame....trying....really...hard...
I have never wanted to yell at a story before. But I really really want to right now. I think I kept holding out for Naruto to stop being a jerk--that's probably why I read the whole thing...
As someone else said, no one deserves this, especially not Sasuke. It's easy to hate him or think he deserves to be punished for the whole VofE debacle, and hey! I even enjoy a good 'make Sasuke repent' angsty fic from time to time. However, here you had already established that Sasuke is sorry for what he has done and has returned to Konoha. He's not being a bastard anymore and he loves Naruto. Stripping that all away from him is a cruelty rivaling Itachi making watch and rewatch the murder of his parents.
Gaara and Naruto are both out of character. Gaara is too emotionless and clueless to the human condition to 1. Seduce Naruto 2. Sing punk and humiliate Sasuke 3. to be sexually active at all
I think GaaNaru can happen, but in my opinion Naruto would HAVE to make the first move, or Gaara would be so unsure and awkward that a Naruto-in-a-relationship wouldn't give in to Gaara or perhaps even be clueless and not realize that the sandman was coming on to him. GaaNaru has a lot of emotional baggage that needs attending. They can't just be pointed at each other on a moonlit night and be expected to launch fireworks.
In this fic, Naruto is too submissive, wishy-washy, uke-ish, girly, and cruel. Naruto could conceivably pick someone over Sasuke--the possibility of trust issues between the two cannot be denied. However, if that were the case, Naruto wouldn't put off telling Sasuke about it. Also, he would not let someone say such hurtful things (exampel: song lyrics) about his best friend who he devoted so much time to saving (even AFTER said bastard tried to kill him). He just would not tolerate it. It's not in Naruto's character to be cruel, even behind someone's back.
For this fic to work, you need to provide motivation for Gaara to become a dominating sex fiend, for Naruto to become a whiney, *whimpy* coward and back-stabber, and heck! even some exploration of why Sasuke wouldn't pound Gaara and/or Naruto into a bloody pulp.
Your writing, suspense development, and whatnot are fairly sound. So don't get me wrong, I like your writing. I am just disturbed about this piece. I think I've even read some of your other stuff...
*checks*
OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG
THERE'S A SEQUEL!! YOU REALLY NEED TO PUT SOME SORT OF NOTICE THAT MAKES THAT A LITTLE MORE OBVIOUS!!
...reading sequel...
*flustered*
Gah! I don't know what to do with you! My accusation of OOC stil stands but with the sequel it kind of works now. I can see what you're saying, what the mindsets are, and at least some of Sasuke and Naruto's motivations. (Gaara still needs to be dealt with). I feel like you're reaching for something in the sequel but things don't quite pull together tightly enough to make it go. Still good, and hits a good level, but I don't think it hits the level you were aiming for--the "we all go through the motions" felt tacked on to me, and though I see where you're going with it, it isn't quite justified by the actions in the first piece or the alluded actions of the second piece. There are some inconsistencies and plot holes that need to be cleaned up. The two together, though, make me not angry anymore. Which I appreciate immensely.
:3
Sorry for the long rant. I've said all I needed to say now and I feel better. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go tack a fangirly review on to 'Rehab.'
I have never wanted to yell at a story before. But I really really want to right now. I think I kept holding out for Naruto to stop being a jerk--that's probably why I read the whole thing...
As someone else said, no one deserves this, especially not Sasuke. It's easy to hate him or think he deserves to be punished for the whole VofE debacle, and hey! I even enjoy a good 'make Sasuke repent' angsty fic from time to time. However, here you had already established that Sasuke is sorry for what he has done and has returned to Konoha. He's not being a bastard anymore and he loves Naruto. Stripping that all away from him is a cruelty rivaling Itachi making watch and rewatch the murder of his parents.
Gaara and Naruto are both out of character. Gaara is too emotionless and clueless to the human condition to 1. Seduce Naruto 2. Sing punk and humiliate Sasuke 3. to be sexually active at all
I think GaaNaru can happen, but in my opinion Naruto would HAVE to make the first move, or Gaara would be so unsure and awkward that a Naruto-in-a-relationship wouldn't give in to Gaara or perhaps even be clueless and not realize that the sandman was coming on to him. GaaNaru has a lot of emotional baggage that needs attending. They can't just be pointed at each other on a moonlit night and be expected to launch fireworks.
In this fic, Naruto is too submissive, wishy-washy, uke-ish, girly, and cruel. Naruto could conceivably pick someone over Sasuke--the possibility of trust issues between the two cannot be denied. However, if that were the case, Naruto wouldn't put off telling Sasuke about it. Also, he would not let someone say such hurtful things (exampel: song lyrics) about his best friend who he devoted so much time to saving (even AFTER said bastard tried to kill him). He just would not tolerate it. It's not in Naruto's character to be cruel, even behind someone's back.
For this fic to work, you need to provide motivation for Gaara to become a dominating sex fiend, for Naruto to become a whiney, *whimpy* coward and back-stabber, and heck! even some exploration of why Sasuke wouldn't pound Gaara and/or Naruto into a bloody pulp.
Your writing, suspense development, and whatnot are fairly sound. So don't get me wrong, I like your writing. I am just disturbed about this piece. I think I've even read some of your other stuff...
*checks*
OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG
THERE'S A SEQUEL!! YOU REALLY NEED TO PUT SOME SORT OF NOTICE THAT MAKES THAT A LITTLE MORE OBVIOUS!!
...reading sequel...
*flustered*
Gah! I don't know what to do with you! My accusation of OOC stil stands but with the sequel it kind of works now. I can see what you're saying, what the mindsets are, and at least some of Sasuke and Naruto's motivations. (Gaara still needs to be dealt with). I feel like you're reaching for something in the sequel but things don't quite pull together tightly enough to make it go. Still good, and hits a good level, but I don't think it hits the level you were aiming for--the "we all go through the motions" felt tacked on to me, and though I see where you're going with it, it isn't quite justified by the actions in the first piece or the alluded actions of the second piece. There are some inconsistencies and plot holes that need to be cleaned up. The two together, though, make me not angry anymore. Which I appreciate immensely.
:3
Sorry for the long rant. I've said all I needed to say now and I feel better. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go tack a fangirly review on to 'Rehab.'
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November 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
oh god.... that was sooooo cruel. but yeah, he had it coming. though, gaara was being a real bastard, but i love gaara, so he can be easily forgiven. nice job.
-inc
-inc
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October 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
So....sad...-bauls-!!!