rate_review Reviews

PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!! I love the story so far!!

I think that this story is very interesting and I hope that you'll update pretty soon :)

I think it's either Kankuro or Shino.

well....now that's a twist. but as the saying goes, "can't rape the willing." nice intro! wanna know more! gotta know more! plz i'm begging u! update now cause i'm going into a masochist's withdrawal syndrome!! -starts to look paranoid- must...have.....more..... -doctors jumps her and drags her away-

GREAT! keep it up, what happens next?

For a first fic it's not bad. Better than a lot of other first attempts I've seen. Your spelling/grammar is pretty good, but I'd still recommend finding a beta to catch some of the errors you might miss and also maybe to be someone you bounce ideas off of and who can help you keep your storyline realistic.

And in response specifically to the last part, if he was unconcious then yes it was rape. There's no willing or not willing if there's no choice given. And the presence or absence of bleeding shouldn't be used to decide whether or not rape occurred or not. There are people who've bled during concensual sex and I'm sure there have been those who haven't bled during noncensensual sex.

I think it's a cool concept! A bit rushed though. I'd recommend changing the last line about the question of Naruto's unwillingless. Because of the drugs he doesn't remember anything, he was never given a chance to consent, he was drugged and kidnapped, and his demon was blocked... That's rape... and pretty hardcore. It'll take some imagination strong muscle (which I'm sure you have ^_^) to convince the readers that Naruto can honestly forgive his rapist much less become a willing participant in a future lemon. This is where it sounded like your fic is going with the last line, so please forgive if I've guessed wrongly. Again, questioning Naruto's willingness at the end leads to this assumption, and it seems a bit naive to think for a moment Naruto would have any doubts.

i want it to be sasuke!!!!!! sounds like is could be shino because of the bug but... i want it to be sasuke!!!!! hehe, i love agest with lots of fluff, and i love just fluff the best X3 plzzzz make it sasuke plzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!

well... this wasn't bad, and i've read my share of 'naru-getting-raped' fics. there's a lot out there, but they aren't all cliche. yet. this one is looking pretty good so far, and i hope to see some more soon!~

ps- i forgot, i was gonna say, it kinda sounded like shino at the bug, but then kankurou with the strings. or maybe sasori? i dunno. anyway, that was all!~