Best Plans to get Laid

Author's Note: I hope that this idea will be just as good as what I thought it would be. We will just have to see if it is everything I hoped.
For those of you who are reading my other story “The Legendary Sucker” be joyous, because I am probably about halfway through the next chapter in it. I'll update that as soon as I finish. The only reason it is taking so long is because I felt that I had locked myself into a corner in the plot and for a while wasn't sure how I would get to the exciting part of the story. In any case, that isn't what this story is about, lets move on.

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Best Plans to get Laid

Chapter One: Laying the Plan

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It was a warm spring day in the village of Konha. A group of young women had gathered at the ramen shop where an orange clad ninja boy tended to eat most days. There was the average girl chatter as they talked about the latest romance novel that they had all been reading, and passed on some gossip about the local boys, and mentions of how attractive some of them looked, and how much one of them or another wanted to get with this boy or that one. Their conversations seemed to have gone far, far away from the ninja training that they did, and the missions, since after all, these things were mundane to a ninja. To anyone watching and listening in on the scene, the girls would have seemed like any other girls their age, with nothing special about them at all. To anyone who didn't know these girls, the fact that all of the women in the group were highly trained warriors who knew more ways to kill someone than there was time for one person to explore would have been completely missed.

While all of the chatter had been going on, it seemed that there was one person who wasn't talking all that much and would just smile silently, giggling every once in a while. The girl had long, raven colored hair, and piercing, eyes that seemed to lack pupils. She was wearing the same style of steel plated headband as the others, hers resting around her neck, like some sort of necklace. She had been listening to the chatter of the other girls, but really she really had no idea what she should say. The other girls all seemed to have such interesting things to say, and all seemed so incredibly open about the boys that they were interested in and the naughty things that they wanted to do to them. Some of the comments that the girls made had caused the pale skinned, dark haired girl to blush rather profusely, but she really didn't know what was expected of her at the moment.

“Something wrong, Hinata?” The pink haired girl asked as she looked at the shy girl.

Hinata swallowed hard, “Huh? Oh, yes, I'm fine.”

The blond haired girl smiled silly as she leaned over, “Well, Hinata-chan, you just weren't saying very much.” She smirked before looking over to the pink haired girl, “I'm sure Sakura just wants you to open up around us a bit more. Stories like this are better when everyone shares.”

Sakura smiled softly and nodded, “And it isn't like we are going to run around telling everyone about the things that you said while you were around us, Hinata.”

The brown eyed girl who still hadn't said anything to comfort the shy girl raised an eyebrow before bringing her hand up to her cheek, leaning over onto the counter as she looked over at Hinata, “Yeah, Hinata. You don't have to worry. We aren't going to be running around telling everyone about how much of a closet pervert you are.” She chuckled softly, “I mean, if I had your Byakugan and could see through trees, and clothes and stuff...well, lets just say I can understand why you blush so much.”

Hinata's cheeks had turned a scarlet red, and Sakura had quickly turned to the chocolate haired, brown eyed girl, “Tenten! That isn't helping!”

The blond girl just chuckled, “C'mon, Sakura. Tell me that if you could see through people's clothes that you wouldn't use that kind of a skill to look at some sexy naked guys who you would otherwise never see that way. I know I would!”

Sakura's mint colored eyes narrowed dangerously, “That isn't the point, Ino-pig!”

Ino had suddenly jumped up, “What did you just call me!?”

Tenten chuckled softly as the blonde and pink haired ninja started snapping, yelling at each other, proving that they really were close friends, since they ended up doing this almost every time the girls went out. Tenten smiled as she pushed off of the stool that she was sitting on and walked over to where Hinata was still blushing quite powerfully and staring into her bowl of ramen. She smiled and wrapped her arms around the blushing girl, placing her chin on top of Hinata's head, “Don't let it bother you Hinata. We don't say these kinds of things to be mean.” Tenten smiled before looking down into the bowl like Hinata was, “You know that all we really want for you is for you to end up with a guy who really deserves how sweet and amazing you are.”

Hinata continued blushing, staring down at her ramen bowl, “I know that you don't mean to be hurtful.” She looked up to Tenten, a slight smile on her lips, “I just really don't have all that much to say.”

Really, Hinata actually had a whole lot to say. She had developed a crush on the blond haired loudmouth ninja, Naruto while she had still been at the academy. Her crush had only developed, and when Naruto had left to train with Jiraiya, the loneliness that she had felt without him had been almost unbearable. She had gone to sleep every night with images of his clear blue eyes in her mind, and thoughts of his muscular body pressed against hers as they went through a few naughty activities. She had been a bit embarrassed when she had woke up, a long moan of Naruto's name dying upon her lips, to find that her fingers had moved down her body while she had been sleeping. Her fingers had been wet and her body had been covered in a light sheen of sweat. Her sheets had been sticking to her skin, and her fingers had very much smelled of the musky scent of her sex. She hadn't even thought about those nights that much since Naruto had returned to the village, but now that the others had started picking fun at her bloodline limit, coming up with less than respectable uses of it, her mind had immediately gone to thoughts of those nights where she had woken with her hand between her legs, and her hair sticking to her forehead because of the sweat that the sleeping pleasure had produced.

Tenten smiled softly as she looked at Hinata for a few more moments, noticing that the Hyuuga's eyes had become even more glassy than normal, making the girl look like she was a million miles away in her mind. The weapon master chuckled softly, “Well, even if you don't think you have anything to say, it looks like you have plenty to think about, Hinata-chan.”

The crimson blush had once again invaded Hinata's cheeks as she wondered how much Tenten actually knew about the situation that Hinata was in at the moment, or what it was that she was thinking about. She quickly shook her head, “No, it's nothing really.”

Tenten leaned forward looking over at Sakura and Ino who were still arguing amongst themselves. The weapon mistress smiled before whispering softly, “If you'd like to talk to me about it, but don't want me to talk to them about it, I understand that.” She smiled, “Really though, you should know that they want you to end up with a nice, sweet guy too, so I'm pretty sure if you wanted them to, they'd be more than happy to help you out in winning the man of your dreams.” She chuckled softly as Hinata continued to blush, “Oh, you bet we could do it too. There isn't a man alive who could stand up to the gentle persuasions and hard pushes that we are capable of together, Hinata.”

Hinata stared forward for a few moments. This really wasn't what she wanted, she was quite sure. She didn't want the other girls to know that Naruto was the one that she was after, they would all just laugh at her. She also didn't want them to try and convince him to go out with her, after all, threatening his life, and everything that they would probably do wouldn't be good, and knowing that she had only won her date with the fox boy because her friends had proven to be incredibly persuasive in their tactics to make him do what they wanted to do, wouldn't make her feel any more secure. It was like admitting that she didn't have the skills or looks to be able to win over Naruto on her own. She didn't want to do that. She wanted Naruto to fall in love with her because of who she was, not because of what her friends had said to him, and what they had threatened to do if he didn't give her a chance. She really didn't want to spend the rest of her days wondering if the reason Naruto had decided to date her was because he had been threatened into it. She couldn't stand the idea of spending the rest of her days wondering if Naruto had actually ever liked her at all.

Tenten sighed softly noticing how Hinata still wasn't saying anything, “Oh, Hinata...” She pulled away and just took up a seat on the other side of Hinata from the dueling kunoichi, possibly to be more comforting by surrounding Hinata with her friend, possibly (and more likely) to surround her and cut off any routes that she may have thought to use for escape. In any case, the gesture had made Hinata a bit more nervous because now she didn't have a way of getting away if they didn't want her to leave, but worse than that, she was going to be visible every time one of the other girls looked over to talk to Tenten. She had just become the center of attention, and she really didn't like that idea. “We just want to help you out Hinata. Why won't you let us?”

It seemed that whatever argument Ino and Sakura had been caught in the middle of had ended just in time for both of them to hear Tenten's last comment, and both of them immediately voiced their opinions on how much they agreed, “Yeah, Hinata.” Ino said, smiling widely, her blue eyes flashing with enthusiasm and excitement.

“C'mon, Hinata! Let us help you.” Sakura said, as she looked at Hinata.

Hinata brought up her hands touching her index fingers together before her over and over again, in the nervous twitch that she had never been able to get rid of. She had always wanted to get rid of that little nervous twitch of hers since it had always given away what she was thinking, but it was something that was very hard for the Hyuuga to turn off. She had tried to work out the little nervous action, but she hadn't been able to come up with anything. Her eyes remained focused on the bowl in front of her, trying not to look over to the other kunoichi, since she really didn't want to talk to them about romance. She really didn't have what it would take to be in a relationship. Naruto wasn't likely to fall for a shy girl like Hinata was.

Sakura sighed softly, “Really, Hinata. Why don't you just tell Naruto how you feel about him?”

Hinata's heart froze. How had Sakura known that it was Naruto who she longed so much? Had Sakura been walking by one of the mornings that Hinata had woke up, moaning Naruto's name? Surely the female ninja had to know that Hinata wouldn't do anything like that while she was awake...at least not very often. In truth, Hinata had indulged in a bit of self-pleasure a few times. It was hard for the Hyuuga not to touch herself when she thought about Naruto those ways, and really while this conversation had made her nervous and unhappy, the thought of Naruto falling for her, wanting her, loving her, it had all been a bit much, and the all too familiar buzz had begun between her legs. The situation was only made worse because she couldn't deal with the aching between her legs. She couldn't very well do much about her problem as long as she was with the others. Now that she was the center of attention it was also painfully obvious that she wasn't going to be slipping away unnoticed, which meant that using her usual plans for escape went out the window. Also, she was surrounded by people who no doubt, didn't want her to leave, meaning that her chances of escape had dropped almost to zero.

The shy Hyuuga spoke up softly, “H...how did you know that I liked Naruto?”

Tenten chuckled, “Hinata, even Neji knows that Naruto turns your crank. You would have to be blind or stupid, which really doesn't say very much for Naruto.” She chuckled, “Really, Hinata. If you thought that was a secret...”

Hinata blushed. Really? Even her brother had known that she liked Naruto? Well, actually that wasn't all that much of a shock. Neji could wander around the Hyuuga household, and may have, at any time, wandered past her room to hear her moan Naruto's name as she rode out towards her orgasm. She could believe that Neji knew that she had a crush on Naruto now that she had thought about it, but she couldn't believe that Neji would say something to anyone. She couldn't believe that her brother would say something to Tenten. Her secret had been let out. If Tenten knew that she had a crush on Narto, then it wouldn't take very long before Naruto himself discovered how Hinata felt, and that was something that Hinata really didn't want to think about. Once Naruto knew how Hinata felt, then her whole world would tumble down. Once Naruto knew that Hinata had woken up moaning his name, the effects of a wet dream still running through her, then Naruto was going to want even less to do with her than he already did.

She looked up at Tenten with her pleading eyes again, “B-b-but...”

Ino smirked softly, “We've all known that you've wanted to get with Naruto since the academy. The way that you would always stare at him, and wish him good luck with whispers. It was terribly cute.” She smiled softly, still watching Hinata closely, “Really though, he just has no idea. He isn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box.”

Sakura chuckled softly, “Hinata...Naruto needs more than a subtle hint, like the ones you give him. If you are going to win him over you are going to have to give up being so quiet and tell him how you really feel.”

“You should just drag him off to a hotel or something and give him a good hard fucking.” Tenten smiled softly before she brought her ramen bowl to her lips, sipping from the bowl.

There was a moment of the most tense silence. Hinata's eyes had grown as wide as saucers and her face had turned almost as white as a sheet before suddenly her face had turned a deep crimson. She had only considered things like that in her wildest dreams, and the fact that Tenten was suggesting it was an incredible shock for the shy girl. Hinata's mouth moved but she failed to form any words. Sakura had likewise gone into a state of shock, but her blush was nowhere near as extreme as Hinata's, and she had quickly recovered her composure, but still was incapable of speaking, since she had absolutely no idea what to say. Ino, unlike the other two hadn't gone into a moment of shock, and instead had simply smirked widely, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. She looked at Tenten and chuckled softly.

“Well, that would at least make Naruto realize that you have feelings for him Hinata.” Ino continued to chuckle, “He'd also get a taste of what exactly he has been missing by not paying closer attention to you.”

The shy Hyuuga spoke up, “B-b-but...” She was still blushing very brightly, “I...” She still seemed to be having plenty of trouble forming words and coming up with what she wanted to say.

Sakura spoke up quickly, coming to Hinata's defense “Hinata wouldn't ever do that though!” She looked at Hinata, “You don't have to listen to them, Hinata.” Sakura glared at Ino and Tenten not very happy that the two of them would even suggest something like that.

Tenten rolled her eyes as she looked at Sakura, “I wasn't being serious, Sakura. We all know that Hinata would never do something as bold as jumping Naruto.” Tenten chuckled softly, “You have to admit it is something that would work though. I can't imagine that even Naruto would be able to ignore that.” She smiled and shook her head back and forth.

Hinata was blushing deeply. She was a bit hurt that her friends had so little faith in her, but it was true. She wouldn't have ever been so bold as to drag Naruto to a Hotel room and have her way with him. She wasn't even bold enough to tell the blond fox boy how she really felt. She wasn't that kind of a person. She was a quiet person, and even she knew that. She may have been reasonably attractive, but that was the only quality that she had that could possibly be used to seduce the loud ninja. Her looks hadn't been enough to get Naruto's attention yet, so she really had no reason to believe that her looks were going to be enough to win Naruto completely. She closed her eyes, feeling rather defeated. She just wasn't meant to be with Naruto it seemed. She had been doomed as soon as she had developed her crush on Naruto.

Tenten sighed softly, “This would be a whole lot easier if you would just tell him how you feel.” She leaned onto the table, both of her hands sliding under her chin, “I mean, hell, Hinata, you have an amazing figure, and are probably the nicest person I know. You really don't have all that much to worry about.” She leaned back and looked up at the sky, “Of course this would be easier for you if you knew what answer Naruto would give for sure, and we all know that Naruto will tell you yes, and you're the only one who doesn't know.”

Hinata stared at her bowl for a few more moments before speaking, “I can't tell N-Naruto...h-he...what if he says 'no'? I...I can't...I wouldn't be able to deal with that...” She seemed to be on the verge of tears. Really it was understandable. While she spent her nights dreaming about wild lovemaking with Naruto, she hadn't been able to tell the boy ninja how she felt. She couldn't stand the thought that he would reject her. The idea that he would say no, or would think that she was creepy frightened her more than anything.

Sakura sighed softly and looked back to the counter, bringing her bowl up to her lips, drinking back the hot ramen soup. She brought her arm up to her mouth, wiping away the remnants that hadn't made their way past her lips. She spoke softly, “If only there was some way that we could make absolutely sure that he would say 'yes'.” She chuckled softly, “I mean, without threatening him, of course.”

A chuckle came from Tenten's lips, “Well, we could try using the Henge technique to look like Hinata, and then find out what the answer would be, but really, in the end that wouldn't help, since Naruto would have to think that you had been the one who had asked him in order for us to get an honest answer, and if we told him the truth that we were using the henge technique, Naruto would think that you had put us up to it so we could bring you back the information and you could find out what his answer would be, which is sort of the case, actually.” She shrugged.

Ino nodded, “The henge won't work. We could question him about it, but I don't think that Naruto would give us an honest answer anyway.”

Sakura smiled softly, “No. Naruto isn't the kind of person who would be likely to give a straight answer to a question like that.” She sighed and brought her hand up to her forehead, running her fingers through her bubblegum colored hair, “He might not be the brightest ninja of his time, but he would ask questions, far too many questions.” Sakura closed her eyes, “He's a bit troublesome like that, he wouldn't answer a question like that without knowing why he was answering it.”

Hinata felt a bit frustrated that she was no longer being included in this discussion, especially when it was her emotions that were on the line here. She didn't say any of this though. For now she was no longer the center of attention, and that was something that was a vast improvement from the previous few moments. She could escape if she was given enough of this quiet unnoticed time. She would be able to slip away as long as no one was watching her. She just needed to wait for the opportune moment to escape, but she had no idea how long that might take, since now whenever Tenten was part of the conversation Hinata would be directly in the path of their conversation. As long as Tenten was there, there probably wasn't going to be a time.

Really, at this point Hinata had given up on the idea that any plan that the group of friends could come up with was going to be worth the time they spent on it. Naruto was simply not attainable to Hinata, and she had long since accepted that fact. This was only enforced by the fact that the plans Ino, Sakura, and Tenten were tossing around were all completely and totally ridiculous. It seemed that as they came up with plans they immediately slapped them down. They weren't going to come up with a plan that was foolproof, because there weren't any plans that would do that. Hinata was the issue in the plan. Because she was afraid that the answer would be 'no' she wasn't going to be voluntarily taking any action that could lead to that answer. The problem was that there was no action that would pull out the answer of 'no' other than blackmailing Naruto, or threatening in some way to make sure that he had to answer the way that they wanted him to answer. That wasn't something that Hinata wanted either, and she had already told them that.

Sakura sighed softly, “So pretty much what we know is that Hinata is too afraid to tell Naruto how she really feels, and that Naruto would be lucky to have her, but we have no idea how he feels.” She smiled softly, “I say again, this would be much easier if we could just make sure that Naruto said yes.”

Tenten chuckled softly, “Yeah, it would be, but like we've discovered, there is no way to do that either.”

Ino had stopped eating at that and was now just staring into her bowl. She seemed to be deep in thought and no one really seemed to have an idea as to why. In fact, only Hinata seemed to have noticed that Ino was in deep thought. It worried Hinata even more than the fact that they were making choices that controlled her love-life that Ino seemed to be thinking so hard. It would have worried her just as much if either of the other girls had been thinking, of course. She took a deep breath and really tried not to think about it, her mind instead going to the thought of her perfect night with Naruto. That would be nice. She liked that idea in fact, of spending a nice romantic evening with Naruto. It was something that she could focus on easily enough, and would take her mind away from the insanity that was the plans that these girls came up with. There was no point in fretting over all of this, after all, it wouldn't matter since they weren't going to come up with a plan that they could agree on. Nothing was going to happen, except for chatter.

Ino spoke up softly, barely above a whisper “Maybe there is.” She was still staring deep into the ramen bowl that she had been eating from.

Sakura blinked as she looked at her blond friend, “What are you talking about now?”

The blond shinobi smirked softly, “Earlier you said that there was no way for us to get Naruto to say 'yes' for sure without blackmailing or threatening him.”

Hinata's eyes grew wide in a mix of shock and horror. The fact that Ino had thought of some sort of plan to make Naruto answer the way they wanted him to was frightening, but the fact that she had decided to follow it through was even more terrifying to her. The fact that Ino thought that a plan was something that they wouldn't possibly be able to come up with because none of them could agree on anything, and it was even more rare that they didn't beat down their own ideas. If Ino had thought up something that was workable enough that she hadn't beaten it down herself it meant that this plan was doable. Hinata wanted nothing more than to get up and run all the way home, forgetting about all of this. She wanted to know absolutely nothing about this. She let out a long breath and tried to focus on the bottom of her bowl.

Tenten had rolled her eyes, “Like you could possibly be capable of doing anything without threatening or blackmailing him.” She chuckled, “With your luck you'd end up in bed with Naruto before he fell for Hinata, if we are going to use one of your plans.”

Ino narrowed her eyes, “Shut up!” She pointed dangerously at Tenten, “I'll have you know that my plan is perfect. All I have to do is take over his body, get him into a compromising position with Hinata, and then let him go.” She chuckled as she looked over at Hinata who was once again blushing very profusely at the mention of doing that kind of deed with Naruto, “The glory of all of it, is that I could make Naruto throw himself at you somewhere public. He'd be all over you, and everyone would see it.”

Sakura laughed softly, “That plan is ridiculous, but would actually work as far as I can figure.” She rubber her temples, “If you used your mind body switch technique you could take over Naruto's body, and make it so that he threw himself at Hinata,” Sakura looked at the blushing girl, “like I'm sure Hinata has always dreamed. After that, it would just be an issue of getting him somewhere private, maybe tying him up, and then letting Hinata enjoy him. He wouldn't even have a chance to say 'no'.”

Hinata was blushing even more now. The fact that they had come up with a plan was frightening, the fact that the plan was perfectly logical and had almost a 100% chance of success was even more disturbing. When they were unorganized and were debating with each other and themselves, Hinata had felt secure that nothing was going to happen. Now that they were agreeing and had come up with a reasonable plan, things weren't so good for the shy Hyuuga. She knew that she should have remained silent when they started asking her to speak up.

Ino smiled softly, “Well, Hinata. You have done so many nice things for us. I think it is about time that we did something nice for you.”

Sakura nodded, “Yeah, we'll get you the guy of your dreams, Hinata.”

Tenten smirked softly, “Even if he isn't smart enough to deserve you.”

Hinata was about to speak up to this plan of theirs, when suddenly everyone had gotten up and gone their separate ways. It looked like things were going to change quite drastically for Hinata in the very near future.

***TBC***