Parent Trap

A/N: hey ho! i am not dead... completely. hope y'all didn't miss me too much. anyway, this story, despite the lame title, is something i've been wanting to write for a while. and i finally got the inspiration to get it down. it revolves around family, parenting, and new relationships. (and yes, you were not imagining it when i said Itachi and an OC are paired in this - i warn you now, the OC is female, because no matter how hot itachi may be alone or with one of the naruto gang, i just can't find it in myself to believe that BOTH he AND sasuke are gay. there. i said it)

as for my other stories, the more popular and unfinished among them: i have big plans for those, yes i do. big plans. so don't worry, ne?

Warnings: Parenthood, Gay Parents, Straight!Itachi, Original Uchiha Babies, Original Uzumaki Babies, Bastard CEOs, Doting Grandparents, Unexplainably Brash yet Cute Children, the list goes on...

enjoy!


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Parent Trap - Chapter 1
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Sasuke offered incense to the urn three times, the sweet smell filling his nose. It kind of made him sick, the smell wafting about him and the situation in general. Having to send his last respects to this woman was a sickening thing; it roiled in the pit of his stomach, making him want to move from the stiff cushion beneath his knees to a bathroom. But he had to be strong and not show any weakness to her family who would certainly try to use any such thing against him in order to contest the will. But most of all, he had to be strong for the two precious angels sitting to either side of him, their midnight eyes following every pass of the incense in fascination.

Sasuke took a moment to look into the coffin before him. It was vastly different than what tradition called for. The dead body of his wife of five years lay before him, and though she was garbed in a white kimono, the rainbow of candy that his sons had thrown in offset its bland color. They were young but understood that their mother was not going to come back; and yet, with the child-mentality of youth, the candy was for ‘when she woke up on the other side,’ just like when she’d given the boys candy after a nap.

Sasuke and his sons moved back from the urn, allowing the other people in attendance to offer their respects. As he settled himself, he looked at his youngest of the two boys and placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder, proud that he had held up as well as he had. At the same time, he felt his own father’s hand on his shoulder, proud for the same reason, or comforting, he guessed.

Of course, Sasuke didn’t think he needed comforting. Though he’d cared for and appreciated his wife, he’d never really loved her. It had been what the Americans called a “shotgun wedding,” after a night of drunken business associates fraternizing. Sasuke had regretted sleeping with the woman, after being roped into a marriage to avoid a scandal, until she had given birth to their twin boys, Touya and Kei.

He loved those boys like nothing on Earth, and with that came respect and admiration for their mother. So though it was a sad occasion, and he would give anything that she were still alive, if only for the children, he didn’t feel an overabundance of grief that he was surely expected to feel.

Then again, he was an Uchiha, and they were well known for never showing any emotion.

“Oto-sama,” Kei whispered next to him, pulling on his jacket sleeve lightly. Sasuke looked down into his son’s eyes, expecting to see tears and sadness, but getting curiosity instead.

“Yes, Kei?” he whispered back.

“Are we going to get a new kaa-san?”

Sasuke almost choked on his intake of breath, and he nodded to his mother who softly hit his back. What a loaded question that was. His children weren’t old enough to understand that he hadn’t loved their mother; how could they possibly understand that he’d probably never love anyone? Well, better to leave them with no hope than to lie to them.

“No.”


~2 years later~


Sasuke sat behind his desk reading over a contract that would be presented in the board meeting tomorrow for authorization. He wanted to make sure the deal was fair and reasonable, but he also wanted to make sure that the company they sought to work with had no loopholes to utilize to screw over Uchiha & Sannin Inc.

Sighing as he came to the last word, Sasuke sat back in his leather seat and massaged the bridge of his nose. His eyes burned as they tried to moisten themselves behind his heavy lids, and he blinked rapidly to speed the process along. Flicking his eyes to the clock on his desk, he took in the ten, the colon, and the twenty-eight, cursing under his breath. Reading over the damn contract had taken longer than he’d anticipated, and now his sons were probably already sound asleep and more than likely upset that he’d missed tucking them in.

Well, Kei was more than likely upset. Touya was like a rock, most times, the very likeness of his father, or so Sasuke had heard. Ever since his own father had retired, Sasuke hadn’t been able to spend as much time with his sons as he’d have liked. It was starting to wear at him, but at least his sons were in school most of the day and didn’t have a lot of time to miss him.

Sighing once again, Sasuke returned the contract to its manila folder and placed it in his outbox for Itachi’s secretary to pick up in the morning. As of late, Itachi left him out of the board meetings, which, at first glance, would seem a very curious thing to do, but Sasuke understood what his brother intended, and he was grateful.

The Uchiha brothers were actually rumored to be more cutthroat and business savvy than their own father, and Itachi was lulling many of their business associates into a false sense of security by leaving Sasuke out of the meetings. If and when those associates made a move to try and one-up Uchiha & Sannin Inc., Itachi and Sasuke, as a team, were always ready to bring them down and then buy them out. Bye-bye rivals.

But there was another reason, the reason that Sasuke was grateful to his brother. To make up for late nights like these, Itachi let him out of the board meetings so Sasuke could spend the morning with his sons and take them to school, rather than be at the office early and have one of the servants do it. It wasn’t the same as tucking them in and reading them a bedtime story, but those mornings were still precious moments that he wouldn’t have in the future, when his sons grew and became more interested in girls and cars and college.

Pushing his chair away from the desk, Sasuke stood and packed his laptop and a few papers into his briefcase before heading to the coat rack by his office door. He set his briefcase down long enough to shrug into his coat before turning out the light and leaving.

The hallway was dark and quiet as he made it to the elevator. The ping of the elevator’s arrival echoed through the floor, and Sasuke hastened to get into the lift and leave. The parking garage was no better, as his polished wingtip shoes clicked against the concrete and echoed into the dimly lit area.

Reaching into his jacket pocket, he brought out his keys and pressed a button on the fob to unlock his doors. The headlights of a common black, mid-sized sedan flashed in the VP parking space. Sasuke glanced over at the President’s parking space, quietly sighing when he spotted Itachi’s sleek silver Jag. His older brother had always teased him for not having a flashy car, but Sasuke was a family man, something he always rubbed in the elder Uchiha’s face, and it just wasn’t right to try and stick two growing boys into the bucket seat of some snazzy sports car.

Besides, his sedan wasn’t that bad. It had a spacious interior that didn’t cramp his long legs behind the steering wheel, several cup holders, which was always a plus, and a very expensive stereo system. Add to that the highest safety rating a car could get, plus front and side airbags, and Sasuke was very satisfied that his car could get him from point A to point B with no problem, and keep him and his children safe in transport. That was all he needed, really. No need to flaunt his wealth when his name showed up on the NASDAQ report on a daily basis, even when Uchiha & Sannin Inc. was a Japan-based company.

Sasuke slid into his car and turned the key in the ignition, flinching when the sounds of some Japanese pop idol or another blared through the interior. Scowling at the radio, Sasuke pushed in the power button, swearing to not let Kei touch the stereo again.

Sasuke laughed quietly to himself. His sons were so different from one another. Kei, even with his pale skin and dark hair, was like a ray of sunshine that filled his life with warmth and light. His laughter was free and easy, and his imagination made for some of the craziest play times Sasuke could easily recall. Touya, on the other hand, was quiet and reserved, but no less life fulfilling than his younger brother. His laughter was harder to come by, but he would often grace his father with a small smile. And what his eldest lacked in imagination, he made up for in intelligence; Touya was a brilliant mind, even at the tender age of six, always reading and making excellent grades in school.

Yes, his sons were his life, and Sasuke had a feeling that without them, he would be a sad excuse for a human. Probably cold and aloof, wanting attention from no one and only looking to make his vast fortune grow. Well, he still didn’t want people’s attention, but he could live without money as long as he had his family.

Sasuke exited the highway, thoughts of his twins still dancing about in his head. After about twenty minutes, the first signs of his estate came into view. The night covered the sprawling green lawns and lush flora, but the lights bouncing off the wrought iron gates instantly heralded the grand Uchiha Gardens, one of Japan’s most esteemed estates. It had come into Sasuke’s hands when his parents had decided to move out to the country; Itachi already had a mansion of his own by that point. Sasuke had always thought it too grand and spacious for his small family, but they always had relatives or guests coming and going; he’d also hired a staff that he’d come to trust implicitly and had moved every single one of them in; and his children loved to run about the huge grounds playing, in Kei’s case, or helping the gardener tend the flowers, in Touya’s.

Sasuke’s soft smile melted off his face as he drove to the carport. A worried frown took its place as he saw his children’s lights still on in their rooms. His valet exited the house and came up to the driver’s side door, opening it to let Sasuke out.

“Good night, Uchiha-san,” his valet all but grumbled. Sasuke’s attitude momentarily lifted as he smirked good-naturedly at the man.

“And to you, Shikamaru. I appreciate you staying up to wait for me. I hope it wasn’t too troublesome?” His smirk grew as the man before him glared somewhat. Shikamaru was one of the laziest people on his staff, but he could be trusted to do his job.

“Kakashi’s inside waiting for you, sir.” With that, Shikamaru ducked into his car and drove it around to the garage in the back. Sasuke’s frown slipped back into place as he made his way up the small staircase and through the front door. Sasuke’s maid, who happened to be Shikamaru’s wife, slipped into the small entrance from a side hallway and took his coat.

“Ino,” he addressed before she could greet him. “Why are the children’s lights still on?”

“Ah, I apologize, Uchiha-san. There was a bit of excitement at school today, and the children are too riled up to sleep. They insisted on staying awake to tell you when Kakashi was unable to get a hold of you at the office.” She bowed lightly before looking at him for his next direction.

“All right. I’ll speak with Kakashi. Thank you for waiting up for me.”

“Of course, Uchiha-san. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” he replied before moving to the grand staircase that would take him to the second floor, where his office and, presumably, Kakashi were. Hatake Kakashi was Sasuke’s at-home secretary, his efficient helper when the Uchiha worked from home, despite reading some otherwise bad or questionable reading materials while on the job, and the only person he trusted with his children when he had to go into the office – sort of a super nanny, or something like that.

He found the light on in his study and peering through the half-opened door, he caught sight of his sons sitting together in one of the leather chairs before his desk, Kakashi leaning against it in front of them.

“And then she got all green around the face and kinda keeled over! It was so cool!”

“Uh-huh.” Kakashi nodded his head, looking for all the world like he’d heard the story a million times before, and knowing Kei, he probably had. Sasuke shook his head, bringing Kakashi’s attention to him from the small action, and the secretary’s eyes rolled up to the heavens in relief – or at least, that was how Sasuke saw it.

Touya, being the genius he was, saw the same thing and turned his head to the door, his dark eyes lighting up when he saw his father. Sasuke was gifted with that small smile, which he happily returned. Kei noticed his brother’s attention had wondered and turned to inquire as to the source, and then Sasuke had an arm full of petite Uchiha tightly hugging his neck.

“Oto-sama! You’re home!”

“Yes, and you’re awake.” The little body tensed in his arms before leaning back and giving him a disarming smile. Sasuke smiled back and hefted the boy higher, getting a better grip under his small frame before walking forward into the room. Touya stood up as he got closer and then hugged his leg, murmuring a quiet ‘welcome home.’

“Sasuke, I was wondering when you were going to grace us with your presence.” Kakashi smiled innocently at him, and Sasuke returned with a glare that clearly said, “Shove it, but thank you nonetheless for staying with the boys.” To which Kakashi rejoined with a real smile that said, “You’re welcome.” Silent communication was a Godsend.

“Now, tell me what happened at school today that has Kei so riled up and was so extraordinary that Kakashi had to call me at work,” Sasuke demanded in an amused way as he sat behind his desk with Kei in his arms.

“It was awesome! We were in the middle of a lesson when Kurenai-sensei went all green and slumpy, and then she threw up all over the classroom!” Kei’s eyes closed as he grinned up at Sasuke, waiting for Sasuke to confirm how awesome it was. Sasuke flicked his eyes to Kakashi, mouthing ‘slumpy’ questioningly. The older man put his hands up in a defeated but slightly amused way, forcing Sasuke to grunt noncommittally at his son before turning his attention to Touya; he usually had a real story and some details to go with it.

“Green and slumpy,” the eldest twin said, and said no more.

Sasuke’s brows furrowed. “Is that all?” Was Kurenai sick? Should he have his sons checked out tomorrow?

“Oh! Shizune-sensei came with Sarutobi-sensei, and Iruka-sensei came and took us all out in the hallway, and I overheard something about Kurenai-sensei being preg-, preg-, pregnit, an-and then Asuma-sensei was called and Kurenai-sensei was taken away, and then Kakashi had to come get us early!”

Kei panted slightly in Sasuke’s lap while Touya nodded sagely at his side. Sasuke looked up at Kakashi again, just to make sure the story was true, backed by Kakashi’s slight nod, and then turned his attention back to Kei.

“First off, Kei, the word is ‘pregnant.’ Second, your teacher throwing up in class is not so much awesome as pitiful, though the end result will be a blessing.” The littlest Uchiha looked at him in confusion, but that was so not something he was going to get into with his six-year-old son. “Furthermore, you two have been up way too late, and it’s off to bed with you. I’ll be in to tuck you in after a word with Kakashi.”

“Okay.” Kei leaned forward to kiss his cheek, and then slid down to the floor. Touya took his hand, and together they went running for their rooms. Sasuke smiled after them, waiting until he could no longer hear their laughter before turning back to Kakashi.

“Report.”

“Yes, well.” Kakashi cleared his throat. “Kurenai had a little morning sickness in class. I personally checked with Shizune and Sarutobi-sensei about the incident and was informed that Kurenai’s pregnancy is cause for some concern, something about her body not being strong enough to get through the first months without much medical attention, and so the boys will have a new teacher until the baby is born. They don’t know whom they can get on such short notice, but until then, Iruka will take her class along with his own. It’s not like the course material is much different; he only teaches the year below her.”

Sasuke nodded. “Thank you, Kakashi. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to take your call.”

“Not a problem, sir.” Kakashi looked at him for a minute. “Have you eaten anything tonight, Sasuke? You look pale.” Sasuke shook his head, only now noticing his stomach trying to gnaw through his torso. “I’ll have Chouji cook something up before he closes the kitchen for the night.”

“Thank you, again.” Kakashi walked out the study before him, turning at the stairs and going down to the kitchen. Sasuke wandered down the hall to the second set of stairs and ascended to the private floor where he and his sons lived. He could hear hushed whispers coming from one of the bedrooms, quickly stifled as he poked his head in.

“And what might you two be whispering about, hm?”

“Nothing!” they sing-songed together.

“Oh, really? Then I guess I’m about to tickle you for ‘nothing.’” Sasuke pounced lightly on his sons and started to flit his fingers over every patch of exposed skin. The two boys laughed uproariously as they tried to get away, but Sasuke’s arms grabbed them and reeled them in before they could escape. When he decided to stop, the two were lying next to each other, one on his stomach, the other on his back, panting like they had run a mile.

“That’s not fair,” Kei pouted when he’d caught his breath. “We weren’t doing nothing bad.”

“‘We weren’t doing anything bad,’” Sasuke corrected. “And no, you weren’t. I was just having a little fun with my two favorite boys.”

“We’re your only boys!” Kei chimed in happily, and Sasuke chuckled.

“That you are. Now get on to your own room, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Aw! Why does Touya get to be tucked in first?” Kei shimmied off the bed.

“Because you let him drag you to his room. Now get.” Sasuke pat him on the butt for an extra boost out the door, and then turned to Touya rearranging the blankets on his bed. Then he looked at Sasuke, a question burning in his dark eyes. “Yes?”

“Do you want more boys?”

Sasuke blinked. “Excuse me?” He moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

“You told Kei that we are your favorite and only boys, but… do you want more?”

Sasuke sighed. Touya was far wiser than his six years, and sometimes Sasuke feared the brunt of the boy’s inquisitive nature. “Touya, that’s… that’s not an easy question to answer.” The boy lowered his eyes to the bed, his fingers worrying at a piece of fuzz on his blanket. “You and Kei are my world. But maybe some day, my world can get bigger. Regardless, you don’t have to worry about me loving you less. That could never happen. In fact, if I had more boys, you could take heart in that I will have loved you the longest.”

Touya smiled at that, but it wasn’t entirely happy. “But only mommies can have babies, and you told us that we’d never have another kaa-san.”

Sasuke smiled sadly. “Oh, so that’s what this is about. You’re not worried about brothers; you’re worried about mothers.” He looked at his son seriously. “Do you want another kaa-san, Touya?”

The boy shook his head, giving the same sad, heart-breaking smile that Sasuke had. “I want Oto-sama to be happy.”

“Oh, Touya.” Sasuke pulled his son into a fierce hug. “I’m happy. I’m so very happy.” He held him for a bit before letting him go and following him down with the blanket. He tucked it in around the small body and kissed Touya on the forehead. “Goodnight, Touya. I’ll be taking you to school in the morning.”

Touya yawned and closed his eyes. Sasuke walked to the door and flipped off the light, heading for Kei’s room, but not before he heard Touya’s soft whisper of, “I want Oto-sama to be happier.”

~*~

“Gods! Why can’t anything ever be easy?”

Sasuke walked into the kitchen, his hands rubbing at his face tiredly. Kakashi was chatting with Chouji over bowls of ice cream, both looking at him as he slumped down at the table, and a steaming plate of smoked fish and vegetables greeted Sasuke’s at his chair. He was decidedly no longer hungry. Chouji placed a glass of water before him as well, but Sasuke pushed it aside.

“Make it a glass of whiskey.”

Chouji lifted an eyebrow, but took the water away nonetheless, returning a minute later with a double shot of whiskey. Both he and Kakashi watched in wonder as Sasuke gulped it down, letting the thick crystal slam to the table as the liquid scorched a raw path down his throat.

“What could have possibly happened between the boys’ rooms and here, I wonder?” Kakashi asked.

Sasuke glared at him as he signaled Chouji for another round. “Touya basically asked me if I had designs to get a wife and more children, that’s what.” The silver-haired man’s eyebrows shot up, mirroring the cook’s. “Yeah, that’s somewhat how I felt about the question.”

“So, Touya wants a new mommy?” Chouji asked hesitantly.

Sasuke picked up his chopsticks and picked at his food. “No. He said… he said he wants me to be happy. And when I told him I already was, he said he wanted me to be happier.”

“Well, that’s new. But the kid’s sharp,” Kakashi commented. “And innocent enough to want such a heavy thing, not to mention ask for it.”

“Are you implying that I am not happy, Kakashi?” Sasuke asked, a mild glare in place. “What more could I possibly need?”

Kakashi put his hands up in a placating manner. “I’m not implying anything, boss. But you have to admit that children can be far more perceptive than adults any day. Maybe you should be asking yourself what Touya knows that you don’t.”

Sasuke shifted the glare up a notch and then turned it to his uneaten food.

“Besides, when was the last time you had someone to warm your bed?”

“Goodnight, Kakashi. Your services will not be required tomorrow,” Sasuke bit out, restraining the urge to throw his chopsticks in Kakashi’s face. The man smiled knowingly at him and bid him goodnight.

Damn Kakashi, thinking he knew everything. But he didn’t! Sasuke had no need for anything besides his sons. They were his world.

Though… he’d told Touya that more children wouldn’t be such an abhorrent idea. What he hadn’t told Touya was that having to sleep with a woman to get them certainly was. Sasuke shivered at the thought. The first time had been an alcohol-induced mistake, no matter the wonderful two boys he’d gotten out of it. There was no way he’d willingly do it again, especially when the first time, drunk or not, had only been successful by him imagining one of his male coworkers in place of his soon-to-be-but-quite-unexpected wife.

Sasuke’s forehead make a beeline for the table, and it was only due to Chouji’s quick actions that it hit solid wood rather than smoked fish. He repeatedly slammed his head on the table, trying to dislodge the memories of that night six years ago; he had other things to worry about. What if Touya asked him these questions again? What if, gods forbid, Kei asked them?

How the hell could Sasuke explain, or avoid it, rather, that any other boy he might want would be a special someone for himself?

How did a parent go about explaining that he was gay?

“Chouji?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Shoot me.”


TBC


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so how was it? was sasuke undeniably cute with his little uchiha babies? i thought so... ah, sasuke as a single family man... it's so amusing... really gets the muses flowing.

the next chapter: as sasuke spends a quiet morning with his sons, itachi is driven to the hospital for his weekly check-up before the big board meeting. but who is this new doctor, and why isn't she cowering in fear before the mighty uchiha itachi?

thanks for reading!!