Forced Fate

What a strange feeling. It felt like pieces of him had been

lost, scattered about, and he was being forcefully shoved

together by dozens of strong tiny hands. They pushed at him,

putting more and more pressure on him, stealing his breath;

and he thought he'd explode and be crushed at the same time.





The pressure was unbearable. It hurt so much he wanted to

scream, and just when he thought he'd die from the pain it

stopped.



Sasuke took a long cleansing breath, blinking and adjusting

his eyes to a gray moonlit room. He was whole again, freed

from his strange prison of hearing and feeling but not able

to speak, see, or move.



He sighed in relief. 'I'm free.' He had thought himself dead,

killed by the Sand's poison and sent to hell.



Only in hell would he be forced to hear Sakura crying in

heart wrenching pain and be unable to do anything but feel

and listen. What's worse is every time she cried it was for

him or because of him, and he was helpless to stop it.





So many nights he could feel her warmth against him; hear her

intermittent crying as she pleaded for him to wake, to not

die… Then, like always, she curled up against him and slept.





She sobbed quietly for what seemed an eternity to Sasuke,

until she draped herself over him, cupping either side of his

face with her hands. 'You can't die, not without knowing love

again. You were so hurt when you left. You've been hurt for a

long time… I know. If I could take it from you I would.' Her

voice was a soft whisper, and he could hear the truth and

desperation in it. She really loved him. He felt her rest her

head on his chest, letting her hands fall limp from his face.





'Please don't leave me. Don't die. You can't die. At least

with Orochimaru I had hope of seeing you again, of finding

you, a hope of touching you, but if you die I'll never find

you. I'll never see you again, talk to you. You'll never

know how much I love you.' Her body shook against him with

her soft cries. She sounded so broken.



What torture it had been to feel her hand caressing his face,

hear her soft voice whispering sweetly in his ear, her heart

felt sobs… and he'd been able to do nothing. As much as he'd

demanded his legs move, his mouth speak, his eyes open, they

never obeyed; and so he was forced to listen to the pink

haired girl, and endure the touches she so liberally bestowed

on him.



He shivered at the memory. For the first time he had wanted

to put his arms around her and soothe her. That thought

pissed him off and scared the shit out of him.


/>

His mind recalled all those nightmares where she violently

died, her accusing eyes focused on his face, spotlighting how

weak he was. She always died with the same words on her lips,

'why didn't you save me?'



He didn't want any weaknesses. She was leverage against him,

something to be lost, taken away, something he'd be

responsible for but unable to protect… Not to mention he

didn't want anybody that close to him. If he let her in she

would know things about him, be able to manipulate and hurt

him. She was a liability he didn't want and couldn't afford

to have. That's what he kept telling himself anyway.


/>

He turned his head against the pillow, catching a whiff of

hyacinths as he leaned toward Sakura's side of the bed. He

closed his eyes, reveling in the beautiful smell he

associated with the pink-haired girl. After this long of

having her beside him every night could he ever be without

her again?



'You'll never know how much I love you.' Her musical voice

played in his head. "Sakura."



"Stop!" His eyes snapped open at the voice. It was Sakura.

She sounded panicked and scared.



Instinct took him over and he "launched" himself from the

bed, intent on rescuing her. The results of his "heroic"

impulse hadn't turned out at all like he'd planned. His

muscles had refused to support him, and he'd crumpled

indelicately to the floor with a loud thump.



Realizing he'd made an incredibly loud noise, he'd tuned his

senses to the room her scream had originated from. He heard

Sakura's voice in an angry tirade, a few good thumps, and

Naruto's name screamed none too gently.



A memory of his old teammates assaulted him; Naruto screwing

off followed by Sakura pounding him good with a short barked

command. She always had been the best one at controlling the

blond disaster.



Smiling, Sasuke no longer feared for the pink haired girl's

safety. They were probably arguing, as usual, and Sakura had

had to get physical with him.



Sasuke had feared his fall would draw attention to himself,

but with all the racket they were making he doubted either

had heard his fall. Just the same though he wanted to make

sure.



He was in enemy territory with no allies. Tsunade, and

therefore Konoha, wanted him dead or alive, and he wasn't

going to allow either. Naruto was his old teammate and

friend, but his loyalty was probably to the Hokage first, and

he wasn't in any kind of shape to fight the blond right now.





He lay on the floor, unmoving; waiting to see what results

his loud sprawl would birth. After several minutes of silence

and no one entering, he began to concentrate on the problems

at hand, the first of which were his jelly-like muscles.





His muscles had grown weak from disuse; they'd seemed to

forget their programming, how they must perform for him. He'd

needed to fix that. He needed to get in fighting condition

quickly in case he needed to defend himself. Which was very

likely.



He shot small bolts of chakra to his limbs, stimulating his

muscles until he was able to stand. He went slowly at first,

performing only the most minimal of movements until he felt

strong enough to attempt more.



After a few Tai Chi moves and a couple of yoga poses, Sasuke

felt confident enough in his muscles to move about the room.





The sound of pained groans intermittently floated to his ears

from the other side of the door, and Sasuke couldn't help but

wonder what the hell was going on out there.



He moved silently toward the bedroom door, stepping toe-heel

like any good ninja, not needing to take into consideration

the rustle of clothing since he was barely wearing any.





He glided soundlessly to the door, and very quietly, very

slowly cracked the door open.

---

"Mmm." Sakura moaned in unison with the man above her. Her

plan had worked; she'd made Naruto forget all about the noise

that had come from the bedroom. Good thing too. His eyes had

flashed bloody murder when she'd tensed at the unexpected

boom, and she feared what the blond might do should he find a

man in her room. With how angry he looked she doubted he'd

even care that it was Sasuke.



Naruto had thought her frightened so he marched toward the

bedroom door with stern steps; his purposeful strides leaving

no doubt his intentions to pound the door in and crush the

offending noisemaker.



Sakura had appreciated his protectiveness of her, it was

sweet and admirable; but she'd wanted to knock him senseless.

How dare he so brazenly approach her bedroom with every

intention of barging in and none of asking?



She'd growled his name and thumped the nearest table a few

times to stop his forward momentum, quickly and cleverly

informing him that the noise had been nothing more than her

bathroom shower curtain falling. She'd followed up stating

that it had been falling a lot lately, and though she knew

what the noise was it had still startled her.



Sakura was proud of herself for her quick excuse. She'd

always been good at thinking on her feet like that. Her

excuse was logical, and more than probable. But more

importantly Naruto had no reason to question her word.





Worried there may be other noises coming from the room, she'd

commanded him to calm down and get back to the couch.


/>

That was the way she had to be with Naruto. She could calmly

talk to him, and attempt to reason with him; but he only ever

responded to her loss of temper. Sakura had learned long ago

that if she needed Naruto's attention and complete

cooperation she need only roughly command it and it was hers.





Naruto had blushed furiously at her forwardness, stunned into

forgetting that she'd yelled at him, and sheepishly made his

way back to her. He'd had no reason to question her excuse

anyway; it sounded logical.



She hadn't meant to be so brazen, demanding he come back to

the couch; she'd simply allowed instinct to take over, and

that was the result. She'd had only a small window of

opportunity to gain complete control over Naruto before he

found Sasuke, and her mind chose the best way to ensure his

cooperation.



She'd needed to renew his distraction. She really wanted to

send him home so she could check on Sasuke, but if she asked

him to leave now, she feared it would look suspicious. His

forgetfulness had already been way blessedly convenient; she

didn't want to do something rash and push her luck.


/>

"Come back Naruto." She whispered, proud of how sensual it

sounded though inside she was scared shitless. She didn't

want to play this game anymore, and she dreaded feeling his

intimate caresses, hearing his passion-filled sighs…


/>

Day by day Naruto's touch felt dirtier and dirtier, more and

more violating, and her ability to ignore and hide those

feelings was severely diminishing.



Naruto of course was the real victim here, but as time wore

on she minded even less and less about that. She was losing

her ability to care. Bit-by-bit she was being worn down,

dying one small piece at a time.



Only one man had ever been able to dismantle her so

thoroughly… Uchiha Sasuke.



At first she'd been happy to have him with her. He was alive,

and he was with her. She'd talked to him animatedly every day

as if he were a fully conscious willing listener. She'd tell

him stories of her training, her most dangerous and exciting

missions, her first date with Naruto, her first kiss, though

she admitted she'd wanted it to be him. She had countless

Konoha stories and she'd shared them all with him.



As days passed and he never woke, her jovial conversations

soon became crying pleas. She'd kneel beside his bed, hold

his hand and beg him to wake, move his hand, open his eyes,

something, anything… But he never flinched. She always said

to herself, 'there's always tomorrow'. Tomorrow became the

next day, became the next, became the next… and he didn't

wake.



Every night she lay beside Sasuke, her body touching his. She

would twine her limbs around him, lay her head on him,

whisper to him how much she wanted him to wake, and sometimes

when she felt especially vulnerable, she'd cry.



It had been the worst torture in her entire life, a mockery

of her feelings for him. She'd scorned God more than once for

showing her such a cruel irony. Finally giving her the man

she'd always wanted, but not actually allowing her to have

him.



Last night she'd felt the world collapsing in on her as her

heart felt for the first time that Sasuke was never going to

wake, and her mind had begun to accept the possibility that

she'd lost him forever. She'd racked her mind trying to think

of what more she could do to heal him, make him wake.


/>

She'd felt so helpless and useless. She was trained by one of

the sannin, the first Hokage's granddaughter, the fifth,

Tsunade-sama… Sakura knew she was one hell of a med-nin.,

but… there was no more she could do for him. She wasn't God.





In that moment the air felt thick and alive, heavy, weighed

down by her grief, and it was threatening to crush her.





Looking at his peaceful face she'd felt a throbbing ache in

her gut. He might die never knowing how much he'd meant to

her. She'd told him she loved him before, had expressed her

affection for him, but she didn't think he really understood

just how deep rooted her love for him was. She'd felt the

need to really and truly confess her heart to him, even if it

was only the walls that heard her, but she hoped he would

hear.



She traced the lines of his face, wanting to commit every

facet of it to memory. "I always thought you were beautiful."

She whispered to him softly. "The first time I saw you I knew

I wanted you for mine."



Long ago, as a young girl, she'd vowed to do whatever was

necessary to make him hers, to belong to him, and she never

once relented in her pursuit of him. And though it had

started as an infatuation, a crush, it had grown into more.





"I love you." She murmured, lightly brushing some rogue

strands of hair from his face.



She'd felt a desperate need to hold him entirely in her hand,

wrap her fingers protectively around him letting no one and

nothing touch him, not even death. But no one could keep

death at bay.



"I will always love you… even if you die." She

confessed, kissing him softly on the brow. "But I promise

you… If you die, my heart and soul will die with you." Her

fingers traced the shape of his lips, and she placed a

feather light kiss on them before lying against him and

falling asleep.



She felt Naruto's mouth rove her neck and collarbone. She

closed her eyes, remembering the feel of Sasuke's lithe body

against hers, the sound of his even breathing as he slept

with her arms around him, his steady heartbeat as her head

rested upon his chest.



She wanted Sasuke to wake up so badly, wanted him to put his

arms around her like she did him. But every night it was

Naruto's arms that held her. She had to feign intimate

interest in Naruto while the man she really wanted laid one

room away comatose.



Each day Sasuke didn't wake her hope of ever having him died

a little more, and tonight she feared all hope was gone.





She was stressed out; she was tired, and she just wanted

Naruto to go away. That was why she'd yelled for him to stop.

She'd felt too worn out from juggling Naruto's affections and

burying her own to consider his feelings. She'd just hadn't

had it in her. She'd wanted to be left alone to curl up next

to Sasuke and waste away beside him. Then she'd heard the

noise.



Her heart leapt at the thought that Sasuke might have

awakened or moved, or something, and her resolve to bear with

the false façade she'd built strengthened.



She only needed to pretend a little while longer with Naruto.

Long enough to make sure he had no insecurities about her

behavior or actions, and then she could send him home and go

to Sasuke.



'Just a little more Sakura, just give a little more.'


/>

---

Sasuke was extremely vexed. He was trying with all his might

to control his anger and irritation. Standing still was not

an option. If he stood still, he'd kill Naruto. There wasn't

a doubt in his mind; he'd kill him slowly and painfully and

he'd enjoy it. Or that's what he told himself.



A part of his mind challenged his thoughts, the part that had

been happy at seeing the blond idiot again even though he was

making out with Sakura. Sasuke was angry, there was no doubt

about that; and he was definitely having murderous thoughts,

but he knew he wouldn't kill Naruto. He was still wracked

with guilt over their last encounter.



'There's nothing saying I won't punch him out though.'





He paced back and forth with angry, purposeful steps. He

flexed his hands, swinging his arms from side to side, front

to back, giving his muscles a much-needed workout. He

intermittently stopped his striding to perform a squat or

push-up, or some other strength exercise, only to continue

his nervous repetitive gait again.



'Fight it off Sasuke. Ignore it. You don't need her. You

don't want her.' He shook his head, then arms, then legs,

loosening his muscles as if he were about to enter the boxing

ring. Then he jumped up and down a few times, jogged in place

a little, and paced some more.



'What the hell was all that shit she said to me? Why did she

do that? Why did she…' Sasuke clenched his jaw, leaving the

rest of his questions unasked. It didn't matter why. It was

done; he needed to move on, but oh he was pissed.



'I promise you… If you die, my heart and soul will die with

you.' Sakura's soft voice chimed in his head. He had

heard in her voice how much she loved him, had

felt in her voice and her touch how much he meant to

her. Or so he'd thought.



He sneered, seeing her beneath Naruto, kissing him, caressing

him, moaning…



Sasuke threw a few experimental punches and kicks, pleased at

how hard and steady they were. He still had a long way to go

to be the solid fighter he was before the Sand incident, but

he was determined to make a record fast recovery. He needed

to get the hell out of here.



His mind recalled the feel of her hand caressing his face,

the sound of her soft voice whispering sweetly in his ear,

her heart felt sobs…



He'd been able to do nothing. As much as he'd demanded his

legs move, his mouth to speak, his eyes open, they never

obeyed, and so he'd been forced to listen to the pink haired

girl, and feel the touches she so liberally bestowed on him.





She'd brushed the hair from his face like a loving mother,

kissed him softly like a wife might her husband, and said

sweet endearing words to him like a true friend and

sweetheart would. It wasn't fair that she teased him so

ruthlessly, painfully reminding him of things once had but

lost, dreamed of but now given up on, longed for but resigned

to not have.



She'd made him think she loved only him, that she wanted only

him. . 'The first time I saw you I knew I wanted you for

mine.'



She'd kept loving him, and touching him, and lying beside

him. Every stinking day she came to him, talked to him, spent

time with him…



'I love you.' She had said.



He'd mentally screamed at her, frustrated and angry. He'd

wanted her to go away, to shut up and leave him alone. He

didn't want to love her; didn't she understand that?

Couldn't she get it through her head that he wasn't meant to

love? To be loved?



He'd been so angry with her. He'd wanted to shake her, yell

at her, push her away… He wanted to leave and go back to

Orochimaru's, do another mission, kill, maim, beat… He would

murder countless victims if it would get her out of his

system, quiet her crying and pleading, burn away her touch…





He stopped in his pacing and slowly lowered himself to the

floor. "Sakura." He whispered; her name painfully ripped from

the very core of his being. 'What have you done to me?'





'I will always love you…' He clenched his fists,

pressing them and his forehead into her floor, trying with

all his might to not punch and kick everything in sight.





'My heart and soul will die with you.' Her voice echoed in

his head.



She'd lied. He wanted to roar. There was so much anger

boiling inside him he thought he'd explode. 'You lied!' He

stood up then and began furiously pacing his same route

again, as if he were truly trying to outrun her voice, his

memory of her.



The sounds of moaning and panting, though barely audible,

pounded in his ears, following his every footstep like a dark

shadow as he tread the same pattern over and over again

across the floor. He'd had to listen to them for the past god

knew how long, but it seemed like an eternity.



'Shut up!' He mentally commanded.



'How could she have said those things, and then run straight

into Naruto's arms? How could she curl up next to me

every night and then seek affections from Naruto?' He hissed

through his teeth, throwing himself to the floor and into a

violent fit of push-ups. It was another desperate attempt to

chase her from his mind, and fight his ever-growing rage.





His arms shook violently, straining to lift his weight in

another push-up. The thought that he might be overdoing it

crossed Sasuke's mind, but only briefly, and then it only

wrought irritation. 'Only the weak quit, only the weak need

coddling, only the weak can't do one-more-push-up…' He

chanted to himself, a silent drill instructor. He needed to

get his strength back, and that wasn't going to happen by

cosseting himself.



He closed his eyes, blocking out everything around him and

concentrated. 'Do more. Push more. Be more' Pushing his

endurance to the limit he performed move after move. Nothing

existed but the training, no one existed but him. There were

no limits. He had no limits.



He heard Orochimaru's raspy voice in his head. 'She's a

weakness, a liability. Look at yourself, willing to expose

yourself to your enemy over a jealous fit… over a girl…

weak.' Hearing the words he felt in his heart spoken

by his master spurred him to work harder, do more.



Sasuke felt a comforting warmth spread through him radiating

from his cursed seal. He recognized his master's touch

immediately. His master sensed his loyalty, knew he was alive

and wanted to make his way back to the Sound, back home.

Orochimaru was giving him support.



His master was encouraging him to train hard, to do what

needed to be done to get home. His master was letting him

know he had faith in him.



Sasuke found Orochimaru's touch reassuring. He was alone deep

in the heart of enemy territory; an enemy he knew had an

order out for his death or capture, and he was weakened.

Sasuke knew his strength had grown immensely since he'd left

Konoha, and his fighting skills had exponentially improved;

but he wasn't confident enough to think he could bully his

way through all of Konoha should he be found out. His master

however, thought him more than capable; and he was letting

him know. Sasuke was grateful.



The seal was a connection between himself and the sannin; he

could feel Orochimaru's desires through it, and the snake in

turn could feel Sasuke's. It had been part of him for years

now, and Sasuke was used to it.



He closed his eyes, allowing his master's soothing touch to

calm his nerves. The snake had trained Sasuke so hard since

he'd been at the Sound, pushed him to his limits and far

beyond, showed him the power that lay inside him, taught him

how to use it, battle-hardened him…



Sasuke concentrated on his past training, on Orochimaru's

tutelage. The snake didn't tolerate failure. If the sannin

said you had to do something, or ordered you to do something,

you did it or you paid the price. And the consequences were

very far from pleasant.



Sasuke smiled, suddenly finding the exercises easier. 'I can

do this. I have to do this.'



Sure as Sasuke could be praised through the seal, he could be

punished. When he'd first arrived at the Sound he'd hesitated

to kill someone on a mission. He hadn't wanted to kill; he'd

contemplated capture, a painful lesson, but he hadn't thought

to end the woman's life. And when the order came to kill her

he hadn't wanted to. He'd felt sympathy in his heart for the

crying female, and for that moment he questioned his loyalty

to his knew master… That was the first and last time he

ever questioned whether or not leaving Konoha had been

the best thing to do.



He'd been punished through the seal that day, given the most

excruciating pain he'd ever felt for hours on end. The snake

had delivered sharp stabbing pain after sharp stabbing pain

on top of a constant throbbing ache that vibrated from marrow

to the surface of his skin. Sasuke had passed out more than

once, but the torture never let up. It had started at night,

and ended long after the sun came up the next day. Orochimaru

wanted to make sure he was understood… He was.



The woman he'd refused to kill had been captured, brought to

the Sound and tied up. After Sasuke had been thoroughly

punished, he'd been taken to the woman and ordered to slit

her throat… He'd done it.



That murder still weighed heavily on him. She'd been tied up,

helpless, and he'd killed her. Of all the people he'd

murdered, she haunted him the most. Most of the deaths he'd

caused didn't bother him in the slightest, but hers did… a

lot.



Screwing his eyes closed as tight as he possibly could, he

tried to chase off the sound of the woman's pleading cries,

eradicate the image of her lifeless eyes, eliminate the feel

of the blood on his hands. There had been a lot of blood.





Sasuke was panting now, feverishly pushing himself, demanding

just one more over and over again, as if he could sweat out

his inner demons. His muscles were bulging from being worked

so hard, trembling as they systematically broke done. Sweat

coated his entire body and dripped from his brow, as he threw

all his angst into his moves, pushing and pushing, exerting

himself to points beyond reason.



His mind successfully chased away the memory of the woman he

murdered, only to be replaced by images of Naruto in a

passionate embrace with Sakura, roving hands, twining limbs…

moaning.



He wanted to scream. She was supposed to be his. She made him

believe she was his. He'd relished in the belief that if he

had no one, he had Sakura. Some time during his strange

sleep-like state he'd grown used to her presence, found

comfort in it, looked forward to it…



It seemed an eternity he'd been begging her to leave him

alone, to get away from him, but she never did. As a young

boy he'd tried to ignore her, as a teen he'd tried to make

her hate him, leaving for Orochimaru's he'd had to physically

subdue her, and this time… this time he hadn't been able to

fight back, hadn't been able to protect himself

against her emotional assault.



He couldn't run from her or yell at her… or knock her

out like he had before. He'd been forced to hear the longings

of her soul, forced to listen to her agonized cries, forced

to bare her soft loving touch, and aside from the murdering

of his entire clan it had been the most painful thing he'd

ever experienced in his life.



She had systematically wrecked him; tore down his defenses,

repeatedly touched his heart in places he hadn't allowed

since the death of his clan, nor would he have if he could

have prevented it. But he couldn't prevent it, and now his

soul was bared and raw.



Now he didn't want to be without her. He relished feeling her

soft even breathing ghosting across his skin as she lay her

head on his chest, the beating of her heart as she lay

pressed against him, the warmth of her arm as it rested

across him, and the comfort of her presence. To lose her

would feel like the death of his clan all over again. He

wanted her. He was scared to death of having her, but he was

more scared of not having her.



'Dammit. Why couldn't she have just left me alone.'


/>

'Why, why, why.' He could ask why all day long, but the

answers didn't matter. They wouldn't change that he wanted

her; that he felt that he needed her, and that she belonged

to him. Knowing why wouldn't change any of his feelings, so

why didn't matter. Nothing did… except Sakura.



'She's mine, not Naruto's or anyone else's.' He pushed

himself from the floor, striding toward the door with

newfound purpose, determined to rip Naruto bodily from

Sakura. After that they could talk, but not before.


/>

---

Sakura kissed Naruto deeply, groping his back as he groaned

in pleasure. Her eyes were closed, imagining the man above

her had ebony hair, onyx eyes, a deep sultry voice… She

melted beneath him, opening herself to him fully for the

first time.



She imagined Sasuke whispering her name over and over again,

as he made love to her neck with his mouth, passionately

caressed the curves of her body… "Mmm." She groaned, feeling

the Uchiha's name on her tongue -



"Sakura." The voice shocked her. It wasn't the one she'd been

expecting, and the reality of the situation slammed into her.





She blushed realizing how far she'd have let him go before

realizing he wasn't Sasuke. That thought was frightening.

Before she heard Naruto say her name she'd been mentally

begging him to go farther, to not stop…



"Naruto. Maybe we should stop. I think we're going too far

too fast. Please. Let's just call it a night. Okay?" She was

shaking.



Naruto lifted his head from its burrow in the crook of her

neck. He looked at her, blinking his eyes several times as if

trying to remember where he was. She watched his eyes deglaze

with sudden recognition. It was impossible to miss the

disappointment on his face, though she got the feeling it was

reflexive and not for her benefit.



With slightly reddened cheeks he removed his hands from some

very intimate places. "Alright Sakura-chan." He answered,

nodding his head numbly, as if he too had been surprised at

how far they were willing to go.



Sakura no more than closed the door behind Naruto when her

bedroom door flew open revealing an almost naked Sasuke.





Her mouth gaped at the sight of him. His black eyes looked

fierce. His skin glistened with sweat, and she noticed his

chest heaving with panting breaths. She couldn't help but

find the sight enticing. He certainly was beautiful.


/>

'He's alive!' She mentally celebrated.