The Routine

Author's Notes: This is a rewrite of chapter 10. I kept the best parts and mostly added to it rather than really changed it. I think its better. I just wasnt happy with the first draft so I took more time to fix it up and make it fit better with the overall feeling of the story.

Thanks to all who reviewed, please keep reviewing. I need input so I can update faster.

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Moiya could hear the distinct sounds of someone renovating her kitchen. At least that’s the image her subconscious concocted as an excuse for the sounds invading her sleep. A dream featuring her as the star, in her own house, surrounded by ridiculously dressed shinobi. In fact there were several shinobi, all wearing aprons and destroying her kitchen with meticulously folded paper shuriken.

Moiya’s dream self frantically tried to find the holster that she usually wore and it was at that moment she realized she was as naked as the day she was born. Standing in the middle of her kitchen, unprotected and weaponless as the shuriken flew past her, sounding more real than they should. In her mind she knew they were paper, but it didn’t stop the stinging cuts to her bare skin as she tried to cover herself.

Frantically looking around for something she could use to stop them from destroying her house, Moiya spotted a pan and started swinging. She made contact with one, then another, and then another cloth covered face. But with each body that hit the floor another appeared. All circling around as they laughed and pointed and watched. Until she heard what they were saying. Moiya tried to cover her ears, dropping the pan with a loud clatter that seemed to echo.

“Pathetic.”

“Obviously inexperienced.”

“Where did you learn that?”

“From a book.”

“It’s a good thing he knows what he’s doing.”

“Don’t listen to them.”

Moiya suddenly found herself staring up into Kakashi’s face. The voices that had been laughing and taunting slowly fading away into the darkness pressing in on them. She didn’t feel so exposed now that he was wrapped around her protectively. His lips, slowly trailing soft kisses down her neck, made her eyes close involuntarily and her back arch as she pressed herself up into his gentle touches. The softness of the bed beneath them so much more comforting than the cold tile floor of her kitchen.

But something wasn’t right about the feel of his skin. It felt rough and wet, as if he was wearing clothes and the warmth she had been enjoying was suddenly gone. Opening her eyes, she grabbed Kakashi’s face with both hands and pulled him from her neck. Instantly panicking and fighting against his weight, which seemed to be becoming unbearably heavy by the second. She could feel the blood from his wounds soaking into the bed beneath her.

Nearly bolting from the bed, Moiya clutched the sheets in her fists and stared across the room, her chest rising and falling as if someone had been trying to strangle her in her sleep. She looked down at her hands, white knuckled and stiff, her heart still thumping against her chest until she took a few calming breaths and focused on slowing her heart rate and releasing her death grip on the bedding. It had been a long time since she’d had that particular nightmare. Although it was altered, it ended the same. ‘But where the hell did the rest of it come from?’ she wondered, blindly looking around the bed for something she wasn’t even sure of yet as visions of apron clad shinobi danced around her sleep fogged brain.

The afternoon breeze floated in through the open window, hitting her sweaty skin and making her shiver. Instantly, she realized what she had been searching for as she spotted the blankets hanging off the foot of the bed. Groaning, Moiya flopped back onto the bed, pulling the sheets with her, trying to remember why everything seemed to be in a state of chaos. Her lips curled into a smile as she recalled quite vividly why she felt delightfully sated now that she was fully awake.

That is, until a very annoying noise interrupted her daydreams. Blinking, she tilted her head to listen and could make out the sounds of someone in her kitchen. The first part of her dream flashed through her mind again as she rolled her eyes. ‘So that’s why I was dreaming about shinobi vandalizing my house.’ Listening again as a pan clattered to the floor, she frowned and rolled her head glaring at the slightly open door ‘What is he trying to do? Destroy my kitchen?’

‘The kitchen.’

Moiya smirked, suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to go out there and relive every moment of the previous night. From the instant Kakashi wrapped his arms around her right down to the falling asleep in each others arms part. Bad dream and grumpiness pushed aside, Moiya rolled over grabbing Kakashi’s pillow. Taking a deep breath and inhaling his scent, she buried her face in it and screamed as loud as she dared.

She thought she should feel foolish for behaving like a school girl who had just received her very first kiss. But in the after glow of her first time having sex with a man she had only been able to fantasize about, it didn’t seem to matter. And by kami did her fantasies let her down she thought. The real thing was so much better. She felt giddy and happy and.....sore?

Recalling the very moment Kakashi had finally pushed into her, a blush creeping across her face as she closed her eyes. The overwhelming feeling of being filled had also been painful at first. But just for a moment before it was replaced with a slow burning desire to feel more of him. After all, she had waited what she considered far too long to finally have him all to herself. Maybe they had been a little over zealous she thought rubbing her thighs together experimentally.

She felt a little bruised and some stinging, both inside and out. None of her romance novels ever mentioned the after effects of your first time she pouted hugging Kakashi’s pillow. Then she remember another part of her dream. The laughing, taunting shinobi in aprons. The memory should have made her laugh. And it would have if the very thing she had dreamed about hadn’t reminded her of the insecurities she had felt but ignored in the heat of passion.

Moiya’s face turned bright red and her eyes widened as she recalled more of the previous nights activities. Being so wrapped up in the passion, she had followed her instincts, wanting to please Kakashi as much as he was pleasing her. But now, looking back on what she had done to him, all she could think about was how inadequate she felt. After all, she had never done any of those things. And just like the shinobi in her dream had pointed out, she had only read about them in books.

‘I must have seemed like an idiot waking him up like that.’ she groaned smashing the pillow over her face.

It was hard enough trying to pretend to be proud of being a virgin at her age when all of the kunoichi she knew had lost their virginity years ago. But admitting she didn’t have any experience with men at all was embarrassing. It wasn’t like she hadn’t had offers either. But when the time came for intimacy, she would panic and feel as if she was betraying Kakashi and her love for him. Simply because she had always known that she was in love with Kakashi.

Maybe not the same love as she felt now since they were only kids when they met. But she had always been drawn to him and then felt a devotion to him over the years. He needed her even if he couldn’t admit it to himself. No one else was patient enough after Yondaime had died to see him for what he truly was under his cold shinobi exterior. She often wondered if that’s the reason he pushed her away for so long. Because he couldn’t hide anything from her.

And for her devotion she had become a twenty year old virgin who hadn’t even been properly kissed until last night. But she wasn’t about to tell Kakashi any of this. ‘He’d probably laugh. I bet he had been with loads of women before me.’ she sighed, feeling a little jealous that other women had been with the man she loved while she remained untouched all these years. Maybe she felt a little hurt too. He hadn’t saved himself for her.

But she hadn’t asked him to. There was no clause in their friendship that prevented either of them from seeing other people. And men were notorious for lack of control when it came to their sexual appetite. He had probably slept with women to relieve tension built up from living the life of an Anbu. Its not like he loved any of them.

‘Why the hell am I laying here trying to rationalize his sex life?’

Moiya sniffed the air and sat up, suddenly very aware of how hungry she was now that the smell of food was interfering with her thoughts. She quickly scooted to the end of the bed, eager to find out what her silver haired lover was making for them.

‘My lover.’ she thought smiling and suddenly it didn’t matter how many women or that he hadn’t waited for her. He was here now. Although, she really never thought they would reach this point in their lives or their relationship. It was something she was sure Kakashi would never allow because he was so hell bent on punishing himself for things he couldn’t change. And if things had never changed between them, the way they had the past few days, she wouldn’t have regretted anything.

She had been and always would be there for him when he needed her most. And they would always have their friendship. That was something she knew for sure he wouldn’t take away from her. It had survived this long after all.

‘But things have changed.’

She wondered why she was feeling a mixture of emotions over just that one thought. She should feel completely happy to have what she’s always wanted. So why did she feel....nervous?

Scared?

Unsure?

Insecure?

She just couldn’t put her finger on what it was specifically. Maybe it was all of those emotions and more. Including the nice ones that made her want to scream into the pillow again. After all, everything as of last night was new territory for them. And things don’t change over night or without effort. And she knew it had taken a lot of effort on Kakashi’s part. How could something so simple as sleeping with your best friend and love of your life make you feel so....insane?

Confused?

Emotional?

Pathetic.

Moiya looked over at the door, listening carefully. The noises had stopped mostly. Every so often she could hear him open a drawer or walk across the tile floor in his bare feet. She knew she had to go out there and face him eventually. It’s not like she wasn’t looking forward to wrapping her arms around him.

Feeling his bare skin beneath her hands.

Kissing his soft lips.

Moiya sighed at the imagery then frowned. It was the looking him in the eye part and trying not to think about what a horrible lover she had been and how she had probably embarrassed herself to the point that he would possibly never want to sleep with her again.

‘I cant believe I did that to him. Twice What was wrong with me?’

She was a capable kunoichi. A member of Anbu. She had completed hundreds of missions, some even solo. She had battled, killed, protected. And never had she been so completely at war with her emotions as she was right then. And she suddenly knew why. Because as a kunoichi she had experience, control, confidence. But as a woman she was far from lacking in those areas.

As a woman she was a complete idiot.

Taking a deep breath and standing up, she quickly sat down again.

‘Sore isn’t the word for it.’

Slightly perturbed at the awkwardness of a situation that shouldn’t be awkward at all, she pushed up off the bed a second time and walked over to the chair by the door. She had been in worse pain from injuries received on missions. ‘So why is this somewhat minor pain keeping me from walking properly?’ she wondered eyeing Kakashi’s shirt on the floor and briefly cursing her misleading romance novels. Amazing orgasms didn’t come without a price apparently.

‘Is this what they mean by the morning after?’

One thing put a smile back on her face rather quickly. The way his shirt made her feel as she slipped it over her head. Tugging the material back up to her nose, Moiya hummed happily to herself. She loved his smell. Strangely, it always relaxed her. She found his scent to be something like the smell of the forest after a good rain and couldn’t help herself whenever the opportunity arose to take in the mind tingling fragrance that was Hatake Kakashi.

Walking up the hall to the kitchen she realized just the smell of him had helped to clear her mind of all the confusing, tangled thoughts and emotions she had been chaotically trying to figure out since she had woken from her nightmare. She was definitely happy and had no regrets she decided. And it wasn’t like Kakashi had complained about anything. Kami knows she wasn’t complaining about what he did to her Moiya grinned wickedly, stopping just short of the corner and peeked around into the kitchen.

Ok, so she had one regret. And even though he hadn’t complained...yet...she couldn’t help feeling that she had made a fool out of herself last night.

‘He probably stopped me both times because I was doing a horrible job.’

But the sight of Kakashi’s bare back, his long lean muscles flexing and rippling beneath his skin as he moved, the way his pants sat just right on his hips.

‘The same hips that were thrusting and.....’

Moiya unconsciously squeezed her legs together as the image of Kakashi played out in her mind. If she could get past the insecurity of feeling naive and unsure about what she had done then she would be more than happy to repeat last night again right now she thought watching as Kakashi leaned one of those sexy hips against the counter next to him.

He was doing something with his hands over the counter in front of him. The muscles in his arms tightened and relaxed with each little movement. Moiya unconsciously tugged on the bottom of the shirt and leaned against the wall. She was memorized by how amazing he was standing there in just his soft cotton pants. Hair falling around his face, laying against the back of his neck.

Kakashi couldn’t help but smile as he grabbed a handful of the strawberries he had been meticulously cutting and started arranging them on the plate. He wasn’t usually one for doing silly things like cutting strawberries into hearts, but he figured he could be silly this one time. In fact, for Moiya, he would consider being silly every day if it meant having her ogle him from the hallway in nothing but his shirt he thought popping a strawberry heart into his mouth, chuckling to himself.

Moiya didn’t miss the way Kakashi’s shoulders shook slightly. He was intentionally doing it to tease her she thought glaring.

The baka knew she was there and he was making sure she knew he knew.

Forgetting her own embarrassment for the moment, she walked out into the kitchen and around the table until she was standing right behind him. His back was even more enticing up close she thought lifting her index finger and running it up along his spine. She smiled when he shivered slightly, straightening his back as he continued to work, ignoring her completely

“What are you making?” she asked wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her face against his back. She couldn’t help closing her eyes and sighing. He was warm and comfortable and she loved everything about him she thought taking a deep relaxing breath. ‘God he smells good enough to eat.’ Moiya opened her eyes and blushed ‘Stupid perverted brain.’ she berated herself.

What she didn’t love was him ignoring her question. Pulling away, she moved to one side to see around him, but he shifted with her and blocked her view. “Kakashi...” “Hn?” Moiya quickly moved to the other side but was blocked again. Kakashi knew her curiosity was her weakness. It would drive her crazy not knowing what he was doing, especially when he was being so mysterious about it. “Hatake Don’t make me wrestle your ass to the ground.” she tried to sound annoyed but it came out with more humor than warning as she tried not to laugh.

Kakashi tilted his head and stopped what he was doing, giving the impression he was considering her offer, then shook his head and went back to arranging the strawberries on the plate. Moiya smiled at his playfulness and darted to one side, then the other, before grabbing him around the waist and trying to physically move him. But he continued to block her every move and the harder she tried to get around him the more Kakashi enjoyed their little game. “You haven’t tried begging yet.” he laughed.

Then suddenly reaching around, he grabbed her arm, switching places so her back was now pressed up against the counter. Moiya took a moment to catch up with the sudden exchange in positions, letting her eyes wander over his chest. His arms on either side of her, trapping her. She couldn’t quite bring herself to look up into his face as his proximity triggered several arousing memories and she felt the heat rising in her face again.

Then remembering why she had been trying to get around him for the last five minutes, Moiya turned her head to try and see what was on the counter but Kakashi moved the plate up closer behind her and leaning into her so she didn’t have any room to twist around. “Are you enjoying yourself?” she asked pushing on his chest to make room so she could move.

Kakashi quickly snatched a strawberry off the plate and stuck it in his mouth. Moiya looked up just in time to see a ghost of a smile before he captured her lips, preventing her from saying anything further. He had to do something. Between the shirt she was wearing and her comments and questions, he was having dirty thoughts and they hadn’t even gotten through the meal yet.

Moiya smiled into their kiss when she tasted the strawberry his tongue had gently pushed into her mouth. It was definitely a nice sweet surprise she thought as Kakashi pulled back slowly and then proceeded to lick his lips, looking somewhat like a cat who had just enjoyed a meal. Stepping back he gave her just enough room to turn around.

Moiya’s heart skipped a beat.

On a plate were two very large pancakes with little strawberry hearts strategically arranged to spell ‘I Luv U’. “I was going to use peaches because I know that’s your favorite fruit. But they wouldn’t cooperate.” she heard him murmur from her neck where he was very delicately nipping at her pulse.

“You did this just for me?” Moiya whispered and leaned back into him as she ate one of the little hearts. It reminded her of when he had first wrapped his arms around her last night. Unexpectedly, she felt a tear slip down her face as he did just that. It felt wonderful to be all wrapped up in his warm embrace again. “Just call me chef Hatake. Would you like some coffee to go with your pancakes?” he asked pressing his lips against her temple.

Moiya swallowed the tightness in her throat “Yes. Id love some.” she said softly as he picked up the plate and set it on the table before pouring them both a cup. Moiya quickly wiped away the stray tears and turned to watched him moving around the kitchen. It seemed natural for him to be here making her breakfast like this she thought as he took her hand and pulled her over, sitting down before pulling her onto his lap.

It was only then that she remembered she was wearing nothing more than his shirt as she tried to tug the bottom down further with little success. Kakashi smiled and nuzzled her neck “After last night your going to try and be modest around me now?” Moiya blushed and shivered at the same time.

Did he have to use that tone that made her heart skip a beat and her stomach drop suddenly? And why exactly was she trying to be modest now?

All the insecurities she had been thinking about before suddenly popped into her head for what had to be the one millionth time that day.

‘Oh yeah. That’s why.’
Kakashi was too busy admiring the way her blush seemed to creep down the back of her neck and found himself wondering if it would continue all the way down to her toes as he grinned mischievously. “I just remembered. There was something I was meaning to ask you about.” Moiya visibly stiffened at his words and quickly grabbed the cup of coffee, taking a drink. Trying to pretend she wasn’t dreading his question.

Which she knew wasn’t fair because she had questions too. But she wasn’t about to ask them just yet. She decided she had embarrassed herself enough for one day. The questions could wait.

“Last night.” Kakashi continued watching in amusement as Moiya squirmed ‘Mental note to self....make her squirm in my lap more often.’

Moiya flinched and closed her eyes.

“What about last night?” she asked trying not to sound like she had regretted anything, because she didn’t. She was just having a little moment of doubt that it had been as great an experience for him as it had been for her. He obviously knew what he was doing. She obviously didn’t she thought sadly.

Ok. So it was more than a little moment of doubt she thought remembering how she had spent too much time worrying already.

‘Just ask already ’ her mind screamed wanting to get it over with.

Kakashi wisely took the cup from her and set it back on the table. He had never seen her this uncomfortable before and the fact that she was holding a steaming hot cup of coffee over them both almost made him rethink what he was doing. But when he looked down and noticed the slight tinge of pink on her thigh he knew he couldn’t stop now.

“Where did you get the idea to wake me up the way you did?” he asked laughing softly.

Moiya groaned, slipping down into his lap even further as she turned and hid her face in his chest, using her hands to cover what she couldn’t hide. Kakashi looked back down at her legs and smiled triumphantly.

‘She does blush all the way down to her toes.’

“I knew it. Im sorry. It was horrible I know. I shouldn’t have and I cant believe I did half the things I did last night. I must have seemed like such an idiot doing that to you and being so very bad at it.”

Kakashi frowned and snapped his eyes up to where she was desperately trying to disappear as he attempted to make sense of what she was saying through her hands.

“I got so caught up in everything and you felt so good and I just wanted to make you feel as good as you made me feel and it didn’t seem all that embarrassing last night. But now....”
Moiya stopped in mid sentence and sat up glaring at him. Her embarrassment replaced by a sudden flash of anger. Kakashi’s laughing was slowly getting louder and he ignored her attempts to push out of his lap, tightening his grip around her waist the more she struggled. “What’s so funny ” she demanded. She was angry and hurt that she had been pouring her heart out to him and here he was laughing at her.

Kakashi, still smiling, finally calmed himself enough to look back at a very angry kunoichi. His eyes roaming over her face for a moment. The way her skin was still flushed pink. Her eyes an even deeper shade of green than usual. Something he new occurred when she was upset. Or impassioned he remembered fondly from last night. Moiya couldn’t explain the expression on his face, but if she had to pick one word to describe it, it would be adoration. It melted her anger instantly.

“I love you. And if you think last night was bad......no....horrible is the word I believe you used......then baby you can be horrible to me any time.” he said softly pressing his forehead against hers and staring into her eyes before gently pressing his lips against hers. Moiya felt the relief wash over her and she wondered how he manage to make her feel this way just by the way he touched her. Or how he knew exactly what to say as if he knew she what she needed to hear.